


Exposure

by inqwex



Series: All Roads Lead To Rome [5]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, F/M, Politics, basically it's a complicated mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-01-10 22:15:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 171,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18416930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inqwex/pseuds/inqwex
Summary: Vic and Lucas have decided to take that next step and disclose their relationship to HR. Vic thinks that once that's over, and  they tell the rest of her team, everything will be fine again. Unfortunately there are deeper political forces at play than she realises, and their relationship's about to be put under more pressure than she ever imagined.Diverges from canon after 213. Now complete.





	1. Momentum

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this - or thinking this up - around the airing of 208, so it will diverge from the canon of season 2 at some point pretty soon I think.

Vic turned her key in the ignition with a heavy sigh, and rested her forehead against the top of the steering wheel.

She hadn’t quite known what to expect from an HR investigation. She had sort of known that they might ask her lots of questions and it would probably take a while, but Vic still hadn’t expected it would take, like, all day.

They’d asked her to go to the HR offices at 0830 sharp, fortunately on her day off. They’d interviewed Lucas at the same time, she guessed so they could check any contradictions. It had been the same questions over and over and over again, asked in different ways by different people.

HR had forced her to go over their relationship in exacting, humiliating detail, wanting to know how, when, and where it had all started. And then how often they saw each other, where they’d had sex, why they hadn’t reported it. Did Lucas pressure her? Did he promise anything?

Over and over again until 5pm, with a brief half hour break for lunch. They’d even gone through their text messages, and Vic was glad neither of them were into sending each other explicit texts. (Like, he used his phone for work as well. She didn’t want anything like _that_ on his phone). Having them read their flirty texts felt…violating enough.

She felt emotionally wrung out.

Robyn, the lady who’d been there all day (although others had came and went), had dismissed her with a stern, “we strongly advise you to not contact each other while this process is ongoing.”

“Do you have more questions for me or for him?” she had asked.

“We’re still speaking to him, but I think we’ve covered everything we need for you,” Robyn had admitted.

“Then I’m going to meet him when he’s done,” Vic had told her firmly. “This process is awful. It might be necessary, I don't know, but I want to see him after spending all day here talking about our relationship.”

Robyn had sighed, but she’d nodded. “This period of time is a grey zone,” she’d said, almost compassionately. “The findings of this investigation may not allow you both to keep your positions and this relationship.”

Vic had swallowed hard. “I know.”

They hadn’t discussed it – what they would do if the investigation’s findings were not favourable. Lucas had brought the topic up once but Vic had forestalled him, saying that she didn’t want to think about it and worry unnecessarily - they could cross that bridge if they came to it.

In retrospect, maybe that had been a mistake. She figured it would be easier for her – she could move down to Tacoma FD and commute.  

And by easier, she meant professionally. Her stomach convulsed unpleasantly at the thought of leaving 19. There weren’t many job openings for a Fire Chief, on the other hand, so it wasn't like Lucas had many options. And she was determined to protect his job if she could.

Vic sighed, straightened, and started her car. At this point, going to Lucas’ felt almost as second-nature as going to her own apartment (although they did tend to spend more time at her place because it was closer to 19 and no further from HQ for him). She’d have gone home, but she wasn’t sure if Lucas would accept an invitation to hers – he was more likely to follow HR’s recommendation to stay away from each other.

She pulled up in his driveway, and let herself into his house, turning on the lights in the entrance and the kitchen. Vic poured herself a large glass of his best wine, settled down in front of the TV and turned it on to something mindless.

 _I’m at yours,_ she texted him. _I know they recommended we don’t keep in contact, but we’ve both been questioned for HOURS and I just want to have dinner and watch something trashy. If you text when you’re done I can order pizza for you to pick up on the way?_

She was unsurprised to not receive a reply – they’d probably have more questions for him. So, Vic tried to let herself relax in front of the episode of _Friends_ she’d ended up settling on. It was hard to let her mind settle, as part of her brain kept cycling through the day and the worry about what the findings could be, and the other part kept watching the clock tick by. Vic was just starting to _really_ get worried when her phone buzzed just after 1930, “hey.”

“Hey, yourself,” Lucas sounded tired. “I’m just finished. Have you eaten?”

“I was waiting for you,” Vic replied. “Pizza? The usual?”

“With garlic bread,” he agreed.

“Done. See you soon,” Vic said, before hanging up. Restless again, she got up, pulled out plates and glasses for them. That took all of about a minute, and then she started pacing anxiously. It was only about fifteen or twenty minutes, but it felt like she'd been walking around his kitchen for _hours_ before she heard the door open. Moments later Lucas walked into the room.

He looked rough; his face was lined, and his shoulders were tight. Vic barely gave him time to put down their dinner before she rushed him, wrapping her arms around him and taking a deep breath in of his familiar, comforting smell.

“Hi,” she said into his warm, strong chest.

“Hey,” his arms came around her, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

After a few long moments, they loosened their holds and Vic took half a step back, looking up to him. As she met his tired eyes, Vic felt suddenly at a loss for words.

“That was awful,” she blurted after a few silent moments. “Awful.”

“Yeah,” he replied heavily.

“Just, kind of….ugh,” she removed her hands from his back, trailing up his chest to rest on his shoulders. “So … like … repetitive and … I don’t know?”

“Dehumanising? Humiliating?”  Lucas offered darkly.

“Dehumanising,” Vic let the word roll off her tongue in satisfaction. That was exactly it. Lucas’ face shifted, the corners of his mouth tightening subtly.

Vic liked to think of herself as a bit of a Lucas-expert at this point. Lucas had absolutely zero poker face, and when stressed, her sweet guy (man-friend, Travis's voice offered inside her brain) retreated behind the mask of Chief Ripley. Chief Ripley, she was learning, didn’t have a poker face as much as he did just have his emotions parcelled away into neat little locked boxes.

“We okay?” she asked, hating the high sound of nervousness in her voice.

“Of course,” he said immediately. “I just…I’m sorry about this.”

“Don’t be sorry, Lucas, I was right there with you. Am right there with you,” she reassured him.

“I just hope this will all be worth it for you,” he said quietly, dropping his gaze. She reached for his cheek, tilting his head gently.

“It is,” she promised quietly, before leaning up on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against his.

She generally thought mindfulness was a whole pile of bullshit, but there was one exception and that was Lucas.

As they kissed, her focus naturally narrowed to just him. She tried to memorise the feel of his slightly spiky stubble against her cheeks, which contrasted with the softness of his hair between her fingers. His lips too were surprisingly soft, and they moved slowly against hers. Vic gently slipped her tongue into his mouth, running over the little slightly off-centre tooth in the front on the bottom on the right hand side that she found adorable, before tangling her tongue with his. She pressed closer, feeling his heart pounding steadily, reassuringly, against her chest. His big, warm hands settled reassuringly on her back, and he sighed into her mouth.

She could’ve stayed there, kissing him forever, but eventually a need for air forced them apart. His eyes were dark, and he looked a little less tense than before as he gave her that soft little smile she lo- liked so much.

[Vic refused to label this warm, tingly feeling in her chest that she had been getting around Lucas – or even the mention of his name. It felt easier to go through this HR process without acknowledging it; without admitting just how desperate the whole situation was. She also felt in no rush to say it – she was pretty sure (and hopeful) he felt the same way about her, and Vic kind of wanted them to be able to say it without the threat of HR influencing anything].

“How could this not be worth it for me?” she asked, not pulling back more than an inch or two. “I just hope it is for you – you have more to lose.” Lucas’ smile broadened, and he pressed his lips to hers briefly.

“I’ve got everything important right here,” he said very quietly, before kissing her again.

As they pulled apart, Vic felt the urge to say _it_ start to bubble up, so she stepped back after giving him a smile and opened up the pizza box and garlic bread.

“Do you want a drink?” she asked instead.

“God yes,” Lucas replied. “I’ll have some scotch. What do you want?”

“I’ve already started your wine?” she said slightly sheepishly.

“That’s fine,” he assured her with a little shake of his head. “I just need something stronger right now.” He poured himself a very generous glass of scotch, then the two of them settled down in front of the TV.

She waited until after they’d both finished eating. Lucas had taken their plates to the dishwasher and returned with the bottle of wine.

“When will we know?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Don’t know. They’ll be talking to Sullivan, Gibson, and Montgomery tomorrow. They might ask us more questions after that. They might not.”

“Good thing my shift has another day off then,” she said, curling back into his side and accepting the full glass of wine he handed her.

“Yeah,” he replied vaguely, arm tightening around her.

Her phone buzzed. “It’s Travis,” she said unnecessarily, feeling him shift to read over her shoulder.

 _howd it go?_ , her best friend had texted.

 _it was repetitive + embarrassing_ , Vic replied. _He had a great word for it: dehumanising._

 _words like that are why hes the chief,_ Travis replied. _they asked me to go in tomoro for questions. i assume gibson + sullivan too but havnt spoken to them – do you still want us to not talk about it_

Vic tilted her chin up.

“Yes?” she checked. “I just don’t want to deal with this being the Topic of Conversation.”

“Whatever you want,” he said, hesitating before adding. “I think I’ll probably always prefer people didn’t know. Or didn’t talk about it. I don’t want people gossiping about us – it’s private and some of the stuff they’ll say about you, and me, and you and me will be … well…I don’t like to think of people talking about _us_ like that.”

It all came out in a rush, and she could see him biting back more.

“I think I actually kind of get that after today,” Vic said after a moment. “I mean, my team won’t be like that. But I don’t like how many people _know things_ about us and how … _judgey_ … they all were.”

Lucas nodded. “That’s how I feel,” he said.

 _yeah. this is a process, trav, and I think until we’re sort of done with hr and recovered we’d like to keep it on the DL_ , she texted.

_ofc. anything u need?_

_nah. at his place right now._

_say hi. I’ll let u know what happens tomo._

“Hi, Travis,” Lucas said wryly. Vic smirked at him.

_He says hi. thanks trav talk to you tomo._


	2. Spinning

In retrospect this had probably been a bad idea. They’d both gone to bed quiet and tired. Vic had fallen asleep right away, but had woken sometime after midnight to Lucas slipping from under her out of bed. She’d grabbed for him.

“Just need to check some emails, Vic,” he’d said quietly, pulling away. She’d grunted or grumbled, and fallen asleep stretched diagonally across to his side.

She’d blinked awake again to his bedside clock (adorably, he still had one in this age of mobile phones). The digital numbers had read 0411 as the bed dipped under his weight.

“Go back to sleep, sweetheart,” he’d whispered, curling around her. She’d drifted back off to his steady, awake breathing.

The upshot of which was Vic hadn’t gotten much sleep – and what she’d gotten had been interrupted. She wasn’t sure if Lucas had slept more than an hour or two, and he’d been in a foul mood when they’d rolled out of bed at 0630.

His first meeting of the day wasn’t until 0900, so she’d coaxed him out to breakfast with her. Her argument had been strengthened by pointing out to him that he shouldn’t go to work in such a bad mood.

She’d been as aggressively optimistic as she could be as they headed to their diner, and she’d succeeded in winning a faint smile from him on the way there in the car.

But after they’d ordered, he’d sunk into a bit of a funk again, twisting a sugar packet in his hands.

“Okay, why are you looking like I’ve just murdered a puppy?” she demanded, somewhat exasperated. (He wasn’t the only one stressed, after all).

He sighed, looking around the diner.

“No wonder you thought I could be ashamed of you,” he said. “Coming to this shitty little diner with its lukewarm coffee-” he glared at the mugs that had just been set in front of them by a pimply-faced teenager. “And its stale bagels, the only upside to which is the fact that they’re edible, unlike the rest of the menu.”

“Woah,” Vic replied, taken aback by the venom in his voice. She added, somewhat defensively, “also, don’t be mean about our place.”

He gave her a Look. She rolled her eyes at him.

“You’re missing the point, anyway,” Vic said.

“What point?” he asked, still sounding irritated.

Okay, clearly Lucas needed it spelled out. For all that he was the smartest person she knew, he could also be so dumb.

“The whole point is that this is where I can come  _with you_ ,” Vic said, reaching across the table to rest her hand on his forearm. “I don’t care that this is where we went.” She paused, seeing that he still looked unconvinced. "Don't get me wrong, I hope we can improve on the quality of food and 'ambiance' after HR is done with us, but I don't really care about Michelin stars or fancy restaurants or whatever. So I'll always be fond of this shitty little diner. Cos nowhere else is going to match this food, or the fact we got kicked out of the carpark here."

At that, the corner of his mouth lifted in a wry smile.

"You know I'm not ashamed of you," he half-asked, half-said.

"I'm too cute for that," she said as brightly as possible. He gave a little dry chuckle, but she figured she'd take that as a win, given how badly their week seemed to be going. Lucas twisted the packet of sugar into his coffee, before reaching for another two.

"You were going to cut back," Vic said, arcing an eyebrow pointedly at the two sugars in his hand. Lucas had made the mistake of telling her the outcome of his latest doctor's visit; apparently his blood test had shown early diabetes. While Vic was happy (very happy) to attest to the fact that he was in  _excellent_ physical shape, apparently his arteries weren't.

A fact Vic reminded him of regularly. Partly because it was fun to make him pout, and partly because, well, she wanted him to be healthy. 

Lucas pouted, but flipped the second sugar packet back into the holder. The first step had been cutting back the snacks at work, then they'd cut back the number of nights a week they had dessert, and now they were trying to cut back the sugar in his coffee. They were down to two sugars (most of the time).

"It's just, I never intended to turn into that horrible middle-aged-white-executive stereotype," he admitted quietly, staring down at his coffee as he stirred it with a probably unnecessary level of focus. "You know, the middle-aged manipulative arsehole of a manager who's having sex with an employee."

Vic took a sharp breath in, feeling a stab of anger - at him for feeling that way, at HR for making him feel that way, and at the world in general for making this so hard.

"Well, I never intended to be a manipulative scarlet woman who's sleeping her way up the ranks but, y'know," she said tightly, ignoring the awkwardly fascinated look the pimply-faced server gave her as he set their bagels in front of them.

"Thanks," Lucas said sharply when the kid hovered for a moment longer than necessary. He waited until the teenager had stepped away before responding. "Well, you're not any of  _that_."

"And while you're a white, middle-aged manager," Vic retorted. "You're not a manipulative arsehole and this is more than just sex."

"It is more. But I'm still a guy taking a beautiful young woman to seedy dives to hide a shameful -"

"Stop," Vic snapped, putting down her coffee. "Okay. We need to get this straight. If you're not ashamed of me you can't describe this as shameful. If you think I'm some damsel in distress trailing after you to random places, then you got another thing coming."

"Of course you're not a damsel in distress - "

"Then stop trying to make that narrative fit this. Because if you see yourself like that, then either I'm a manipulative scarlet woman or some pathetic damsel in distress and I'm neither, thank you very much. So you're not...  _that_. When I think about you, think about us, I figure I met a really hot guy at work who's smart and funny and charming and dorky and dating him is a little more complicated because he happens to be my boss, but he actually kind of really suits me."

Lucas blinked.

"I hadn't thought of it that way."

"What, the role you were casting me in as or our relationship as being -"

"The role I was casting you in," he said. "You're right. You're neither of those things."

"Is this what was bothering you last night?" she asked.

"A bit," he admitted, taking a bite of his bagel. "But also...I missed an entire day of work yesterday. So when I couldn't sleep it was an opportunity to try to catch up a bit."

Vic winced sympathetically. "Is that what you're doing today?"

"Yeah. Gotta couple of meetings with accountants first thing in the morning about the budget, then hopefully get through some of the paperwork," Lucas replied. "What're you gonna do?"

"Spring clean?" Vic mused. She needed to do something to burn off her anxious energy.

"Feel free to clean my place," Luke grinned at her mischievously. Vic was so relieved to see some humour return that she merely rolled her eyes fondly at him.

"Fat chance," she said.

* * *

 

"Travis, thank god," she picked up the phone just after midday. Her apartment had never looked so clean, and she still felt sufficiently restless that she had actually considered going to Lucas' and cleaning at least his kitchen.

[Spring-cleaning his whole house was not going to be a task she undertook alone. It was a pigsty].

"Hey, how are you?" her friend replied.

Vic paused for a moment, looking around her living room. "Anxious," she said honestly.

"Gibson and I are done. Have you eaten?"

"No, have you?"

"Meet you at the Goose in 15?"

"Done."

Vic ended up there first, so she found a little table in a corner where hopefully they could talk privately. She ordered a drink, but Travis ended up arriving a few minutes later anyway.

"What happened?" she asked as he sat down.

"It took ages," he replied. "Like, literally hours."

"What did they ask?" 

"Um, when I found out, how I found out," Travis furrowed his brow. "What I knew about you two." He scowled briefly. "We spent at least forty-five minutes on why I didn't report it."

"What did you say?" Vic knew she sounded neurotic but she couldn't help it.

"The truth," Travis shrugged. "You told me you guys were dating. I said that was all I really knew. They asked what I thought, and I said that I didn't know him that well but he clearly cares for you and you for him and that was surely what was important, and that I didn't report it because he's not actually in our direct line of command and it wasn't really relevant."

Vic thought over his words for a moment, and nodded with a relieved smile. "Thanks. Hopefully that makes them happy."

"Fancy seeing you here," Gibson dropped into the chair next to Travis and flashed them a smile.

"I'm sorry about all this," Vic sighed, waving her hands. "Thanks for giving up your day."

"Ah, no worries, I had nothing better to do on my day off," Gibson said, waving down a waitress.

"Jack," Travis said reproachfully as the waitress approached.

"What? I was joking," Gibson said. "Literally no plans. Can I get a vanilla milkshake please?"

"Coffee. Black," Travis requested. 

"What did you say?" Vic asked Jack nervously.

"Um? That I found out by accident, and that we've had like, two conversations, and so I really couldn't give them any of the details they were looking for," the lieutenant replied. He frowned. "Man, you really care about this, don't you?"

Vic knew she was blushing, but she said, as coolly as she could, "obviously I care about this. That's why we're telling the department."

 "So Mr Hypothetical is not Hypothetical any more?" 

"Mr Hypothetical?" Travis asked, looking confused. As Jack explained, Vic caught herself reaching for a packet of sugar, and stopped herself. She had enough nervous habits of her own without picking up Lucas'. Gibson had to pause his story as the waitress returned with their drinks and took their order.

"See I was just going with calling him Vic's Naked Man Friend," Travis replied innocently when Jack had finished.

"Ew, Gibson," Vic barely dodged the fountain of vanilla milkshake that sprayed from Gibson's mouth as he choked. She waited for him to recover. "Or we could just not talk about him at all. Especially at work."

"Wasn't the whole point of this so you could tell people?" Travis asked, pointedly.

"I don't think I realised how stressful this would be," Vic said after a moment of hesitation. "Like, this is  _awful_. I don't know how much detail they went into it with you -"

"Too much. I was like, she's my best friend and I don't know how often they have sex because that would be  _really_  weird," Travis said with a shudder.

Vic groaned. "Yeah, well, that level of detail. It is dehumanising. I think once this whole HR thing is done and I've had some time to recover I'll tell them. I just don't know if I can explain this again so soon, especially when I don't know what they'll say. Or what HR will decide."

"I mean, it's not like you can transfer anywhere," Travis scoffed. "HR'll have to agree to it."

"She can transfer," Jack said darkly. "I mean, this is assuming he doesn't get sacked but they say they can't date in the same chain of command..."

"What are you talking about?" Travis asked irritably. "He's in charge of the whole SFD."

"Tacoma? Another fire department?" Vic said quietly. Travis looked over in horror.

"I hadn't even thought of that!" he exclaimed. "Would you really leave us?"

"We haven't talked about it," Vic said. "But yeah. Much easier to move a firefighter than him."

"You  _haven't_  talked about it?" Jack asked pointedly.

"What's the point? We'll just drive ourselves insane with different scenarios," Vic sighed. "Anyway. What have you done this weekend other than sit in a small office talking about my sex life?"

* * *

 

Jack had left them after lunch, saying he'd see them tomorrow, but Travis and Vic had opted to head down to the Pike Place Market to people watch, chat, and aimlessly wander. Vic was grateful for her best friend, not for the first time, as he managed to mostly keep off the topic of Lucas and HR. 

They were halfway through a spirited re-discussion about the final season of Gilmore Girls when Vic's phone rang. She glanced to see that it was Lucas.

"Hi," she answered immediately.

"Hey," he said tersely. "I'm finishing late today. HR have called me in again now, so I'm guessing I'll be there until they clock off in a couple of hours and then I'll need to go back over what I was supposed to finish yesterday. So I'll just stay late at the office tonight, I'll catch you after your shift tomorrow."

"How about you call when you're done with HR and I'll bring you dinner," Vic offered. 

"You don't have to."

"I want to," Vic pushed the point a little. "I'm just as worried about this whole thing as you, and if they're talking to you again and not me I want to know why."

"Fine," he said, not exactly graciously.

"I had lunch with Travis and Jack. Travis says he didn't say much, and Jack said he basically just said that he found out but knew no other details," Vic offered.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later," he said, before hanging up.

Vic looked at her phone, feeling off-balance. She hated it when Lucas spoke to while still in 'work-mode'. Because work-mode Ripley was sometimes a jerk.

"Everything okay?" Travis asked. "That sounded...strained."

"He's super stressed," Vic said defensively. "So am I." She felt a sudden surge of doubt. "If he loses his job over this -"

"It won't be your fault, Vic," Travis interrupted. "He's a grown man. He can make his own decisions, and he has to take responsibility for that."

"Yes, but if I'm not worth it -" she choked back the sentence. Travis wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"You are," he said confidently. "And he thinks that too. He adores you. And even if he decides that, well that's his loss. You're awesome."

"I am," Vic sighed. "Thanks, Trav."


	3. In Which Frankel Swears a Lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ahoy! Lots of swearing ahead...

Vic pushed down a surge of doubt and self-consciousness as she walked into Lucas’ set of offices at HQ. She’d never actually been to his office before, and it was almost intimidating. Stepping into it meant that she actually entered his assistant’s office. Behind her desk was his office – (marked  _Lucas Ripley, Fire Chief_ ) and to his assistant’s right was  _another room_  marked  _Conference Room_.

“Can I help you?” asked his PA. Even without the name plate on her desk, Vic knew her name was Kim, Lucas had mentioned her enough times. Kim was a middle aged lady, probably a bit older than Lucas, with thick glasses and a nicely cut pastel pink blouse.

“Uh, hi,” Vic lifted the bag of greasy takeaway burgers, acutely aware she was just wearing jeans and a shirt. “Um. My name’s Victoria Hughes. I…uh…” Vic faltered in the face of this woman’s severe look. It felt like the older woman was looking right through her.

“Victoria,” Kim’s face softened, and Vic felt herself relax a fraction. “It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Kim, I’m his PA.”

“I know,” Vic replied. “He speaks very highly of you.” The other woman beamed, immediately losing about ten years in age.

“He’s still in with HR,” Kim said, getting up from her desk. “You’ve come at just the right time – I’m about to leave. You can wait in his office.” She went over and unlocked the door, bustling in and turning on the lights.

Vic followed.

Lucas’ office was big and surprisingly tidy given what Vic knew of his house. Somehow, a man who couldn’t be trusted to completely unpack his own groceries at home managed to keep everything orderly and tidy in his office.

On one wall was a series of framed awards.

There were a lot of them. Firefighter of the Year, Unit of the Year award, Officer of the Year, Medal of Valour, Lifesaving Award…her jaw dropped slightly.

“Is there an award he  _hasn’t_  won?” Vic asked thoughtlessly.

“He doesn’t have a Medal of Honour, although the Lifesaving Award is a tier up from it,” Kim replied matter-of-factly. She furrowed her brow. “Hasn’t got Chief of the Year yet either, but give him time. He’s only been in the job a couple of years.”

“Right,” Vic didn’t bother to let the other woman know it had been a rhetorical question.

“Anyway, his candy drawer is the second on the right –” Kim waved at the desk.

“His candy drawer?” Vic interrupted, rounding Lucas’ desk after unceremoniously dumping their dinner on his desk. “He told me he was going to cut down on these snacks!” She opened the drawer and made a disapproving sound. “Skittles, chocolate, crisps…ugh.” Vic looked up to his politely-confused assistant. “He went to the doctor’s two weeks ago. He has early diabetes and he is supposed to be cutting back his sugar.”

Kim's eyes narrowed. "Hm," she remarked, sounded unimpressed. "Well. I was going to swing by the grocery store anyway on my way home, and I'll pick him up some healthy snacks. Nuts, or muesli bars or something. I'll replace these tomorrow."

"Operator?" the two women looked up from the Candy Drawer to see Lucas leaning against the doorway of his own office, arms folded, looking unimpressed. "Yes, I'd like to report a breaking and entering at Fire HQ."

"Operator?" Vic was as capable of dark sarcasm as he was. "Yes, I'd like to report a heart attack secondary to poorly controlled diabetes at Fire HQ. We need an ambulance here now."

Lucas' eyes narrowed, and Vic felt her shoulders tense up. If he was going to be terse and angry with her now, she'd get angry right back. It wasn't just him that was stressed, and it wasn't just his career that was under threat. And she felt she'd been the "supportive girlfriend' as much as she could in one day.

The tension was broken by Kim's laughter, and Vic watched Lucas' face relax. "I like her," Kim said approvingly.

"Yeah, so do I," Lucas said affectionately. "Even if she is trying to remove one of my main joys in life."

"Have the heart attack then," Vic said briskly, stepping back around to the visitor's chair and falling into it. "The chairs in your office are super uncomfortable, by the way."

"Are they?" he asked, moving to his side of the desk. "I've never really sat in those ones.  _My_  chair's very comfortable."

"This is the problem with management," Vic teased lightly, dumping the burgers out of the bag onto his desk.

"I'll leave you two to it," Kim broke in. "Chief, I've put those documents you've requested in your intray. I also need you to look at the Annual Report draft as a matter of priority - we need to have a final word on it by Friday. You'll lock up when you're done?"

"Yes, thanks, Kim," Lucas said. "See you tomorrow. If you replace the contents of that drawer, you're fired."

Kim smiled sweetly at him. "Sure, Chief. Victoria, it was lovely to meet you. Look forward to seeing you again."

"You too," Vic said as the other woman exited, closing the door behind her.

"Well, you made an impression," Lucas remarked, unwrapping his burger. "She can be very prickly. She and Frankel hate each other."

Vic smirked at him. "What can I say, it's my natural charm."

"Mmhm," Lucas took a bite of his burger, and they chewed in silence. He swallowed, took a deep breath, and said, "I was a bit abrupt earlier. I'm sorry. They were literally hauling me in at the time."

"I know you're stressed about this," Vic said, mollified by the apology. "But so am I." She hesitated. "I didn't realise it would be this hard."

"I'm sorry," Lucas repeated with a sigh.

"What were they asking?" 

"Mostly matching Sully, Gibson, and Montgomery's accounts. Did I pressure them to keep silent about our relationship, et cetera," Lucas replied.

"Oh that's all," Vic said with relief. "Well, you didn't so it's fine."

"Sully and Gibson will almost certainly get reprimanded," Lucas said sharply. "Montgomery, I don't know."

"What?!" Vic asked. 

Lucas nodded. "It's part of an officer's duty to report anything that could compromise the safety of the team. Any relationships in the chain of command compromises the safety of the team."

"But we're so removed from each other," Vic objected. "I mean, even if we're both at a scene, you'd be telling the Captain what you wanted 19 to do broadly and he'd be sub-delegating us."

"What if you needed a RIT, Victoria?" Lucas asked softly. "The scene commander is the one who approves or disapproves a RIT. Being on the RIT is dangerous at baseline, let alone if you're on a RIT when the scene commander's girlfriend is in danger."

Vic paused, taken aback a little at his intensity on the subject. "I never thought about that."

"Seventy percent of my job is rewriting procedures and policies and paperwork. Another twenty percent of my job is human resource management. Around ten percent of my job is scene management - and that's because I actively go to scenes historically you wouldn't have a Chief at simply because I like fighting fires. But when I get called, they're big scenes. Like the skyscraper. And my job is to keep as many people as possible alive. That means sometimes I have to say, well, if we try to rescue those people, we'd probably lose the rescue team, and so I abandon them to a terrible, fire-y death. Two to five percent of my job involves making those kinds of decisions."

Lucas' eyes were haunted. "I left you behind before. That was the correct call to make. I've done a lot of thinking about whether I could do the right thing again. I don't know if -" he sighed, shaking his head.

Vic reached across the table automatically, finding his hand, and twisting their fingers together. "I trust you," she said simply and forcefully. "I know my job is dangerous. You don't need to protect me."

"I want to. Losing you..." he shuddered. "Anyway. Gibson and Sully should have reported us. They'll get reprimanded with us, most likely."

Vic squeezed his hand, but allowed him to shift the subject. "I didn't realise. When do you think HR'll finish this whole thing?"

"They'll probably discuss it this week," Lucas predicted. "I'm hoping by the end of next week?"

Suddenly, the door burst open without ceremony.

"You're such a fucking dumb shit," Vic automatically dropped Lucas' hand and turned to face the door, seeing her Battalion Chief standing in the doorway. She'd never had much to do with Frankel before, but it didn't take a social genius to see that Frankel was  _pissed._ "How the HELL do you not tell me what's going on?!" The other woman seemed to notice Victoria for the first time. "You must be Hughes. Give us a minute, won't you."

"Hey," Lucas cut in angrily. "You don't get to order her around."

"Like you, I'm her fucking boss, so yes I do. Hughes -"

"Settle the _fuck_ down, Deb," Vic felt her spine freeze at the iciness in Lucas' tone. He rarely swore as far as she knew, and judging from the way Frankel kind of gaped at him, she suspected he didn't usually swear at work either. "Vic's not only off-duty right now, but her presence here has nothing to do with work. So no. You cannot order her around."

"I'm perfectly happy to continue to yell at you in front of your girlfriend then," Frankel flopped into the chair next to Vic. "How do you not tell me that this is the sort of shit you're getting into?"

"Did I miss the part where my personal life was any of your damn business?"

"Yes, it is my business because clearly  _you_  missed the part where you're dating a young, unranked firefighter in my battalion," Frankel bit back.

"And you've never wanted to hide a relationship?" Lucas' question was pointed, and Vic was surprised to see Frankel recoil slightly. "Take a breath and calm down, Frankel. You clearly know now."

"Months too late," Frankel sighed. "Have you thought about your career at all? If you lose your job -"

"You think my career's the important thing right now?" Lucas asked angrily. "And you think I haven't thought about it?!"

"You're fucking good at your job, Rip, and if you lose it over this, I'll be stuck with fucking Marks who in addition to being a misogynistic racist prejudiced arsehole would struggle to find two brain cells to rub together," Frankel said.

Vic choked on her drink, and found herself at the end of Frankel's intense gaze.

"She might be a bitch but she's funny," Vic directed her comment to Lucas, whose eyes widened in alarm.

Frankel raised an eyebrow. "You know I can make your life hell, right?"

Vic shrugged. "At this point, I don't even know if I have a career," she said. "We're waiting on HR. Also, I'm off duty, and you've just been a complete bitch about my relationship so I really don't care."

Frankel's eyes narrowed, but she gave a bark of laughter, shaking her head. "Okay, fair play," she commented. "Your girl has balls, Rip."

"Yeah, even I only call you a bitch in my head," Lucas said dryly.

"That's cos you're a pussy," Frankel said brusquely. "Don't give me your All-American-Scout shit about your mama raising you right."

Vic laughed at that too. 

"Anyway, HR just told me," Frankel said.

"I thought these things were supposed to be confidential?" Vic asked idly. "I mean, I'm not surprised but they made a big deal of saying that at the start."

"No, what she means is that she got pulled in to interview, got asked whether she knew of my relationship with you, swore a whole lot, and then stormed out," Lucas said wryly.

"It just warms my heart how well you know me," Frankel said sarcastically. "But no, seriously, what were you two thinking?"

"That I want to date her?" Lucas raised an eyebrow at her. "Obviously. It's not the end of the world, Deb."

"If you lose your job and Marks gets it, it might as well be," Frankel said darkly and melodramatically. 

"Even that won't be the end of the world," Lucas commented with a roll of his eyes. "You've asked the same question multiple times now, Deb, my response isn't going to change."

"Fine. I do actually need to talk to you about something confidential though, so call when you two are done with your oh-so-romantic date," the older woman retorted, moving to get up.

Vic rolled her eyes. "Well, I'm done eating, so I'll go."

"I'll walk you out," Lucas said quickly, getting up himself. "Won't be long, Frankel."

"I'm sorry about that," he said once they were out in the corridor. "Frankel's...well, she can be difficult."

"It's okay," Vic said, surprised to find she meant it. "I mean, she was obviously worried for you so..."

"Just...ignore her when she's being too abrasive. I thought you handled that really well," Lucas said warmly, reaching out to touch her cheek.

"It wasn't too...like, off-duty, I will say what I think. At work, I know it's different," Vic said.

"You should never say anything but what you think. At home or work. At work maybe just make sure you pick your time, and maybe don't yell at ranking officers," he replied dryly. Vic smiled. "Anyway, see you later. Stay safe tomorrow."

"I will," she promised. Vic was gratified when Lucas leaned down to kiss her briefly without even looking around to see if anyone else was watching. "You'll let me know if you hear anything?"

"Yes, although I'll be surprised if I get advance warning," Lucas said, shoulders and face tightening again. "I'd better get back to this."

"Okay," Vic said. He gave her a quick peck before turning and walking quickly back to his office. Vic sighed, and headed home to continue worrying what HR would say about her and Lucas - and now about Jack and Travis for not reporting them.

 


	4. Comfort

She was lying awake staring at the ceiling when her alarm went off. Vic sighed, hit the snooze button, and rolled back to continue staring at the ceiling.

She'd slept terribly. It was partly worry over the whole HR thing, and partly, it was still on the chilly end of spring. She'd spent most of winter with her human furnace curled around her, and without him in the bed it felt cold and alone. Vic tried to think back to the last time she would've slept alone at home, and was a little surprised to realise that if she wasn't working, she'd spent every night with Lucas for the last eight weeks. Some of those times she'd gone to his after drinks with the girls or with Travis, and sometimes he'd been called out in the middle of the night, but he'd been in bed with her at some point.

She'd almost texted him to tell him to just come over whenever he was done, but something had made her pause. Lucas was different to her, more introverted and quiet, and she had wondered whether he'd needed a bit of space after the last two days of talking to people about his personal life.

But she'd missed him. And now she had to go to work and wouldn't see him for twenty-four hours. There was no way, with HR breathing down their backs, that he could 'drop by' 19 as he sometimes did. Increasingly did.

[Was it wrong to hope for a big call that would require them to see each other at the scene?].

Her alarm went off again, and Vic silenced it, rolling out of bed with a sigh. She showered quickly, and got dressed, wandering into the quiet kitchen that didn't smell of coffee and toast. She swore as she realised she'd forgotten to turn on her coffee machine before showering - Lucas usually took care of it.

As the coffee machine slowly whirred to life she pulled out her phone and started to compose a text to him.

 _Missed you_ , she typed, before slowly backspacing and deleting it. She'd never been clingy. She wasn't going to start now. 

Besides. What was he going to do about it? Worst case, he thought she was a clingy mess. Best case, he came around to visit - but actually, HR would know, and would that be worse?

She mulled over this on her drive to the station, and was still thinking about it as she got dressed.

"Vic," Andy's tone of voice made it clear it wasn't the first time the Lieutenant had called her name.

"Sorry, what?" Vic turned to ask, stumbling a little as she pulled on her uniform trousers.

"You okay?" Maya interrupted, frowning.

"Sorry, didn't sleep well," Vic said, as airily as she could. "It was really cold."

Maya and Andy exchanged a glance. "No, it was pretty warm," Andy said slowly.

Vic shrugged. "Well, I felt cold," she said, quickly buttoning her shirt. "How were your days off?"

"So I took Jenna rock-climbing," Andy began, and Vic breathed a silent sigh of relief. As soon as Andy was distracted by talking about Ryan or Jenna or her dad, no-one else would get an word in edgewise. Maya shot her a suspicious look as the three trailed out of the locker room, but Vic simply smiled innocently.

Line up was quick, partly because Sullivan had mellowed significantly since the aid car accident, and partly because they all now knew his requirements and just met them. Vic felt her stomach roil as he announced the assignments; she was on the aid car with him.

She actually hadn't spent much time with him. He usually paired himself with the boys, or the lieutenants. They'd never actually spoken about her and Lucas, and Vic wondered if that was why he'd paired them up today. [She was determined not to mention Lucas until he did, though].

As they were dismissed, she caught Jack's sleeve.

"Can I have a word?" she asked quietly. Gibson shrugged, but allowed himself to be pulled to the side.

"Listen, I wanted to say, thank you for not reporting... _it_  ... months ago," she said awkwardly. "I didn't actually realise you could get reprimanded for it. If that happens, I'm so sorry. I never meant -"

Jack sighed. "Don't worry about it, Vic," he said kindly. "I kind of found out by accident and had no reason to think it impacted on anything here at work."

"Still -"

"I'm a big boy, Hughes. I can make my own decisions. If I get in trouble, I'll wear it. I'm not the one who'll face the worst of it anyway - I was out of the picture for four months." With that, Gibson patted her shoulder and wandered off.

 _That's not exactly_ _reassuring_ , Vic thought.

"What was that about?" Maya asked sharply from nearby.

"Nothing," Vic said quickly. "Nothing important." She quickly headed away from Maya's piercing gaze, finding Travis in the Beanery.

"Hey," she said, moving up next to him. "I was talking to Ripley -"

"There's a change," Travis teased. 

"Can you be serious please?" Vic demanded testily, and Travis' smile faded. "Sorry, Trav."

"I know, you're stressed," he said. "But I think it'll be okay."

"I didn't know when I told you that you could get reprimanded for not reporting it," she said quietly. "I mean, I guess I must have read it at some point in the handbook but -"

"Vic," Travis cut her off. "Don't worry about me, or Gibson, or Sullivan. You've got enough to worry about. We're all adults, we made the independent choice to not report it because it wasn't impacting on your work."

Vic paused. "Gibson said pretty much exactly the same thing just now."

Travis shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, Sullivan pulled us in and we, uh -"

"Talked about us?!" Vic squeaked in a loud whisper.

Travis turned to face her fully. "Vic, when people know, that's going to happen," he said firmly. "And it won't all be pleasant, unfortunately. Michael and I had that happen to us - when it became common knowledge we were the gay couple everyone talked about us and who was the top and who bottomed and it was ..." he sighed. "Uncomfortable."

"I just..." Vic shook her head. "I didn't realise what we - what I was asking of you."

"You didn't ask anything of me," Travis said. "I made my own mind up." He hesitated. "So everything good with you and Ripley then?"

"I've never seen him so stressed," Vic admitted, biting her lip. She considered telling Travis about Frankel, but something made her hold it back. The interaction between Frankel and Lucas and, well, herself, was ... private. "But he apologised for being weird on the phone; they were hauling him in to ask whether he'd pressured you lot into keeping quiet."

"He never said a word to me, or Jack," Travis said confidently. "Anyway. Try not to worry. After all, it's not like you can do anything now."

"You know, both you and Gibson have been nice, but not anything approaching reassuring," Vic complained, before the alarm went off for the aid car. She sighed. "That's me. See you later."

"Enjoy."

She swung into the driver's seat to find Sullivan already in the passenger seat. She started the aid car, and headed off to the call. Vic was glad that the call was only 5 minutes from the station, as she forced herself to not start  _that_  conversation.

It wasn't a big job; an elderly lady had tripped down her front steps and broken her hip, so they gave her some pain relief and took her into Grey Sloan.

"We haven't talked about it," Sullivan said abruptly as they got back in the car. "Do we need to?"

Vic gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles whitened. "What do you want me to say?" she asked, staring straight ahead.

Beside her Sullivan sighed heavily. "We used to be friends. Best friends," he said.

"Lucas said you fought over something. Years ago."

"You know my wife died?" the words were quiet and followed a long pause. Vic looked over in surprise.

"Yeah, Travis said," Vic said.

"We went to the call, Rip and I," Sullivan said. It was now his turn to stare straight ahead. "My wife was in a car accident and when we got there...she was ... dead on the scene. I started resuscitating her. Rip ordered me away, he continued the resuscitation. She died. I blamed him."

Vic drew in a sharp breath.

"I'm sorry," she said earnestly. "That's awful."

Sullivan nodded, jaw clenched. "This is by way of me saying that he and I aren't on the best of terms. I don't want to know any details about your private life, but you need to know you are a member of my team," he turned to look at her. "I will protect you, not him. My duty of care is to you, not him. If there's a problem, and you're an adult, you know I don't mean the usual relationship shit, but a real problem, you let me know."

"You might not be on the best of terms but you know he's not like that," Vic said, loyally.

"He wasn't fifteen years ago. People change," Sullivan hesitated. "It's too late to tell you to be careful. Just...keep in mind, I'll back my team members."

Vic looked back at him coolly. "I can't imagine how difficult it is," she said. "Travis has talked to me a lot about Michael, and how angry he was at the Captain who was involved in the incident and I know that there are some wounds that never heal. I don't know the details of what happened with your wife, and it's none of my business, but I know that Lucas doesn't sleep some nights over these kinds of calls. I know he's not perfect, but he's a good man."

 Sullivan eyed her for a long moment. "I hope you're happy," he said, before adding tightly, " _both_ of you."

"Thanks," Vic took another deep breath. "And I... I didn't actually know you were obligated to report us. I'm sorry if -"

"You let me worry about the consequences for my own actions," Sullivan interrupted sharply. "You can't be responsible for everything, Hughes. Take the rap for  _your_ actions, and your actions alone. That goes for Ripley too. If he loses his job, gets demoted, whatever, that's on him, not you. He's a grown ass man and he chose to ... be ... with you. So stop being sorry."

"Yes, sir," Vic said softly, and started the aid car.

Strangely, she felt better despite not feeling at all reassured. 

* * *

Vic knew she looked pathetic. It was 2pm on a Wednesday, and here she was, sitting on her couch watching Dr Phil while drinking wine and eating ice cream. The rest of her shift had been uneventful, and she'd come home to an empty, quiet apartment. Lucas was at work. And he hadn't texted. Or called. 

Vic had decided she'd text at 4pm. Not sooner. Sooner was too clingy. And she'd been spending most of this episode of Dr Phil trying to come up with the best not-clingy text that still would have him coming over.

Her phone buzzed, and Vic lunged for it, nearly toppling the bottle of wine over.

 _I'll be finishing late again, sorry. Probably about 8pm_ , the message read.

 _That's fine_ , Vic texted hastily.  _I was planning on having an afternoon nap anyway, and I'm having a late lunch, so I won't be hungry until late. I'll make mac and cheese?_

She pressed send before she could over-analyse the message.

 _Are you sure?_  the three little dots appeared, then disappeared as Lucas obviously decided to not add anything.

 _Positive,_  she texted.  _See you whenever you get home_.

 _Okay_.

She flung her phone down, got up, turned Dr Phil off. Vic needed to check if she had everything to make mac and cheese. 

* * *

A nap and a quick run to the shops later and Vic was stirring the heavy sauce through the macaroni and vegetables. She glanced at the clock, pleased to see it was about 5 to 8. She was right on schedule; it only needed fifteen minutes in the oven to brown on top, which - if Lucas had predicted right - would give him time to get home and shower before dinner. [For a man who was generally a bit of a slob, he was quite fastidious about needing to shower straight after work unless he went for a run first].

She heard the lock turn, and his heavy footsteps entered her apartment.

"Hi!" she called, carefully lifting the dish and placing it in the oven. She straightened and turned, right into him.

"Hey," he said tiredly, stepping into her space and wrapping his arms around her tightly, head burrowing into her shoulder.

"Long day?" she asked, heart warming as she breathed him in and wrapped her arms around him, one hand automatically going to stroke his hair.

"Mmmh," he mumbled, before pressing a kiss to her shoulder. "Smells amazing. I love your mac and cheese."

"I know," she said. "It'll be ready in about fifteen minutes."

"I might have a shower," he said, pulling back slightly.

"Okay," Vic leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 

As he plodded into the bedroom, already unbuttoning his shirt, she breathed a sigh of relief. He looked exhausted, and old (Vic never thought of him as old, but sometimes he looked his age when he was tired or upset or stressed) but he'd been normal with her.

She'd just finished serving up two bowls when he walked out of her room, hair slightly damp from his shower.

"TV dinner?" he asked, accepting a bowl from her, turning and heading to the living room without waiting for a response. Vic sighed - she'd hoped to talk to him - but trailed behind him, curling up next to him on the couch as he found a sports channel.

"I didn't hear anything," he said, after a few bites. 

"About HR?"

"Yeah. No word yet," he said through a mouthful. "This tastes amazing."

"Figured we could both use some comfort food," she said. He pressed a slightly cheesy kiss to her temple. "Gross, Lucas."

"Definitely needed some comfort food," he said, rolling his eyes. Lucas grabbed a tissue and wiped at her face anyway.

Vic stared at the football match without watching it as Lucas inhaled his dinner. He was well into his second serve, when she finally summoned the courage to bring up the topic.

"What if they come back saying we can't do this?"

He paused, fork halfway to his mouth, "don't worry about it. It'll be fine."

"Seriously? You're going to hand-wave this away?" she snapped. He set his bowl and fork down with a heavy sigh, muting the TV before turning to her.

"Now? You honestly want to have this conversation  _now_ , when you're sleep deprived and I've just worked a twelve hour shift -"

"Well I've just worked a twenty-four hour shift so if we're talking about who's worked harder today -"

"Please, I know 19 got no calls so you should've gotten at least six hours of sleep," Lucas bit back. He sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "See, this is why we should have had this conversation when I first tried to bring it up, not now when we're both tired and snappy."

"Well, it feels real now," Vic said, angry at feeling herself well up. "It's not until I actually spoke to HR that I started to think we might be in trouble. Real trouble."

" _We_  won't be in trouble," his expression softened a little. "Look, I'm not saying that I'm not hoping for me to keep my job, but the first time you kissed me I knew there was a chance I would lose it."

"The first time I kissed you?" Vic parroted in surprise.

"You're kind of addictive, Victoria Hughes," he said quietly, eyes dark and intent on hers.

She smiled weakly at him. "If they want to stop our relationship, but don't fire you, I'll transfer. Sullivan would give me a reference, I reckon, and Tacoma's not too far."

"I don't want you to uproot because of me," he said, shaking his head. "I can take another job."

"No you won't," Vic argued, before stopping, and sighing. "Let's...you know, there's no point having this argument. Let's go back to you saying nice things about me."

"I was saying nice things about you?" his eyes danced.

"Sure you were," she edged closer, eyes drifting to his lips meaningfully. "You could repeat them."

"You're a good kisser." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Amazing, really."

"That's not all I'm amazing at," she breathed, their lips barely brushing. He swallowed hard. "Let's go to bed." She briefly pecked at his lips, and adroitly avoided his hands as they groped for her. She picked up his bowl and hers, heading to the kitchen.

"I hate when you do that," he whined, grumpily getting up and following her.

"Do what?" she asked innocently. "Pass me the tupperware will you?" 

He handed her the container obligingly, and she spooned the remainder of his bowl into a lunchbox for him. Hers she cling-filmed, and put in the fridge as he put their cutlery and his bowl in the dishwasher.

"Leave me hanging," he said petulantly, backing her up against the fridge.

"Poor baby," she teased. He simply leaned in and kissed her firmly. She sighed happily, worming a hand into his hair while the other grabbed his very muscular ass. He grunted, and pulled away.

"Bedroom," he said hoarsely, grabbing her hand. They only paused twice to kiss on the way, but by the time they got to the bedroom, she was only in her underwear while he was in his trackpants. She dropped his hand, and unceremoniously shimmied out of her underwear before climbing into bed. 

"You coming?" she asked, glancing to see him with his trackpants half on, staring slackjawed at her lying in bed naked. Before she knew it, he was clambering over her, sans trackpants.

"Like I said," he breathed, one hand wandering up her thigh while the other gently traced around a nipple. "You're addictive." 

She smiled, and pulled his head down to meet hers, one hand caressing his back. She kissed him deeply and slowly as he stroked her with long, clever fingers. As she came, his name tripping from her lips, he went to roll them over.

"No," she grabbed at his strong shoulders.

"Missionary?" Lucas panted in surprise. 

"Please," she said quietly, fingers gently tracing his cheeks. 

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," he said, gazing into her eyes. He gently kissed her as his swollen, seeping cock slowly pushed into her, stretching her in a familiar, delightful way. It wasn't the best angle for him, particularly with the way she was clinging to him, pulling him down so that his firm, strong body covered and surrounded her. But with deep, slow strokes, and clever fingers he had her coming again as he shuddered and spilled into her.

When she woke in the morning it was to a scratchy kiss and the smell of coffee.

"I have to go," he whispered as her eyes fluttered open.

"Have a good day at work," she said blearily, snuggling down in her warm bed.

"Sleep well, baby." He pressed another kiss to her forehead, and sleep reclaimed her.


	5. Limbo

When Vic eventually got out of bed, it was mid-morning, and her phone was full of messages from her early-rising colleagues.

 _any1 for drinks tonite?_ Travis had texted.

 _YEHHHHHHHH man,_  Dean had replied a minute later.  _that bar the other week was good. one on cnr pike and 12th?_

 _Can we go somehwere else?_ Andy had replied.

 _Ryan goes there with his new gf_ , Maya had chipped in.

_MAYA thats not why_

_Keep telling yourself that lol_ , Dean chipped in.  _i think jack will come too hes still asleep right now._

 _Can't guys sorry, studying_ , Warren had replied.

 _how bout shorty's? got pinball there..._  Travis had suggested, and the others, sans Warren had all agreed.

 _ok_ , Vic typed. 

She pulled up her thread with Lucas and texted to tell him. 

 _Enjoy. Kim's just added another meeting on at the end of my day so I was going to be late anyway. I'll just head to mine - catch you after your shift finishes Sat am?_ he messaged back about thirty minutes later.

 _Okay. Try not to work too hard!_  Vic replied.

She spent her day aimlessly drifting around her apartment. She tidied a bit. She journalled a bit. She read part of Lucas' book. [It was actually really good].

To say she was relieved when evening rolled around and it was time to go out was an understatement. Since Travis lived a couple of blocks away, he met her outside her apartment and they caught an Uber to the bar together.

"Two vodka shots, please," she requested as they reached the bar. Travis gave her a concerned look. "Shut up. I'm stressed."

The night passed in a blur. She was pretty sure Maya and Jack were flirting, but nobody else seemed to notice, and Vic had made sure she was more than a little tipsy by the time Gibson and Miller had arrived (twenty minutes late, as usual) so she didn't really trust her judgement. 

It wasn't until they spilled out of the bar, at around 0100, that she realised how drunk she was. The cold air hit her face, and she felt suddenly sick.

"I'm gonna vomit," she warned Travis, and he immediately raced her to the nearest bin.

She promptly puked into it.

"Gross," Travis whined, but waited for her to stop. "You done?"

"Yeah," Vic groaned.

"Our Uber won't be far," Travis glanced at his phone.

"Hopefully they have water," Vic moaned.

"You good, Vic?" Andy asked in concern, resting a hand on her back.

"I drank a bit too much, maybe," Vic admitted.

"I did warn you against trying to outdrink Miller," Maya commented in amusement.

"She did well," Dean boomed proudly, beaming at her. 

"Hey, maybe Vic could be your fake-girlfriend," Andy suggested, glancing at Dean.

"No," Vic said immediately. "No way."

Dean looked a little offended. "Why not?"

Vic simply shook her head, and groaned as that made the world spin around her. 

"You don't want to be Dean's  _hypothetical_  girlfriend?" Jack raised an eyebrow, and Vic glared at him. He smirked back at her.

"No," Vic groped for a reason. "You're like my brother. Ew."

"Besides, she's already -" Vic elbowed Travis hard, but it was too late.

"Already what?" Maya demanded.

"Nothing," Vic said, glaring at Travis, panic bubbling up through the nausea and the dizziness. 

"Are you interested in someone?" Jack said in a sing-song teasing manner, immediately making amends for his earlier comment by making it seem less than it was.

"None of your business," Vic retorted gratefully, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks.

"Who is he?" Andy demanded eagerly.

Dean cracked his knuckles. "I need to know who to threaten."

"I can take care of myself, Miller," Vic protested, biting back that she didn't need protecting from Lucas. Her handsome, sweet, loveable guy.

"Our uber's here. Let's go. Thanks for a great night guys," Travis exclaimed, grabbing Vic's arm.

"What the hell, Travis," Vic hissed as they climbed into the Uber. She groaned a little as they set off, and leaned forward, putting her head between her knees.

"Sorry, I didn't think," Travis apologised. "I can't wait for you to tell everyone and I don't have to worry about keeping quiet."

 Vic groaned.

"Is she gonna be sick?" their Uber driver asked worriedly.

"No, there's nothing left," Vic mumbled.

"No, she's fine," Travis translated, more loudly. They reached Vic's in no time, and Travis helped her out of the car.

"What about you?" Vic asked, as their Uber drove off.

"I'll walk," Travis said, looking at her a little worriedly. "You gonna be okay? He's there, right?"

Vic shook her head sadly. "He went to his house."

"Do you want me to call him?" Travis asked.

"No," Vic said quickly. "He was working really late."

"I'll stay with you then," Travis said firmly, supporting her and walking into her building

"I'm not  _that_ drunk," Vic protested loudly.

"I've not seen you this drunk, Vic," her friend replied. "Keys?"

She handed him her handbag, content to lean against the wall as he pawed through the bag in search of her keys. He eventually found them and unlocked her door, flicking her lights on. Vic immediately pushed past him, rinsing her mouth with a glass of water.

"Drink at least two glasses, Vic," Travis ordered, dropping her bag on the counter. "We have to be at work in like six hours." 

She glared at him, but did what he suggested. 

"Can I use your bathroom?" he moved towards it without waiting for an answer. Vic trailed into her room, quickly locating her pjs and stripping and changing. She'd shower in the morning.

She glanced at her big,  _empty_ , cold bed and shuddered. She grabbed the blanket and a pillow from her bed, and turned back around into the lounge, curling up on the couch instead. Travis exited the bathroom, and stopped, staring at her.

"What're you doing out here?" he asked. "You've got a nice, comfortable bed right there."

Vic sniffled pathetically. "It's lonely. Luke's at home."

Travis' expression softened and he shook his head at her.

"When you're drunk you're pathetic and sappy," he informed her. "You sure you don't want me to ring him?" Vic shook her head.

"Fine," he said. "But I'm stealing a blanket from your bed then." He disappeared into her room, grabbed the small decorative blanket, and came back, settling into the armchair.

"You don't have to stay, Trav," Vic yawned.

"I will anyway."

* * *

 

She groaned at an incessant, loud beeping and the sound of her coffee maker.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," Travis boomed from her kitchen. "We have half an hour to caffeinate and get to work."

Vic groaned, her head pounding. Only the thought of disappointing Lucas - and Sullivan - by not turning up to work because of a hangover got her off the couch and into the shower. She swallowed a couple of advil and quickly dressed.

"You're the best, Travis," she said, exiting her room as Travis held out a thermos of strong coffee to her. "Did you want to shower?"

"I'll shower at work," he said. "But we need to go now."

He drove her car while Vic rested her head against the window, trying to will the headache down while inhaling her coffee.

They were early enough for Travis to quickly hit the showers, and Vic made her way to the Beanery, refilling her thermos and sitting at the end of the table with a groan. Her only consolation was seeing Miller sat there wearing sunglasses.

"I hope this teaches you both a lesson," Andy said, not unkindly.

"Shut up," moaned Miller.

"I'm never coming to work hungover again," Vic said, lowering her head to rest against the cool table. "I'll be fine in a minute."

"Any advance on who your mystery crush is?" Maya teased as she sat down next to Vic.

"What mystery crush?" Vic said into the table.

"You know. The guy who is the reason you won't even fake-date Miller," Maya prompted.

"Travis exaggerates, you know what a wannabe matchmaker he is," Vic replied as simply as she could, relieved when the topic seemed abandoned.

"Sullivan's coming," Jack hissed. Vic straightened with a groan as Miller whipped off his sunglasses.

"Line up in five," Sullivan said, grabbing a cup of coffee. His gaze drifted suspiciously over them, and Vic mustered a fake-bright smile. He narrowed his eyes. "Hope you're all feeling refreshed and ready to go. We might run some drills this morning."

They waited until his footsteps had receded and Miller groaned loudly.

"He's the worst."

"If you and Vic didn't look so obviously hungover we might be okay," Andy remarked.

"I didn't hear you be the voice of reason last night," Vic said sardonically, dropping her head back to the table.

The only bright side of being hungover at work was the fact that at least between the drills, headache, and actual calls she didn't have much of a chance to think about Lucas or HR. There was a single house fire that night, which kept them going from just before midnight to four am, so by the time the shift was over, Vic felt more than ready to just climb into bed and sleep on him all day.

That morning, however, as she got to her door Lucas had just locked it. Her heart sank; he was dressed in his uniform.

"We've just upgraded a two alarm to a three alarm call downtown," he said, hastily kissing her, while confirming her suspicion. "Sorry, Vic. Sleep well."

"Bye," she called after his retreating back, cursing the on-call roster yet again.

She sighed, looking at her empty bed. [Lucas had obviously re-made it, as the blankets she and Travis had used had migrated back to her bed]. She grabbed the blanket and dragged it back out to the living room. Vic turned the TV to a local news station, suddenly wide awake.

It was an apartment block fire. She watched as the live coverage showed Lucas turning up to the scene, and was unsurprised when one of his first actions was to push back the media pack.

She watched as the tactics shifted to an extremely aggressive interior and exterior approach to the fire, and made a mental note to ask him why he hadn't persisted with the more gentle exterior approach that had obviously been in place before his arrival on scene.

It clearly worked, though, and soon the news was reporting that it was contained, but that there'd been three casualties. At some point, well after midday after being up for the most of the night, Vic must've fallen asleep.

When she woke, she was in her bed, and it was just starting to become dark. Lucas' familiar smell surrounded her and she felt the steady, even movement of his chest beneath her cheek.

"When did you get home?" she mumbled into his chest.

"About an hour ago," he murmured back, stroking her hair. "It's just after 7pm."

She turned her head, tilting her neck to see him. "Fix the fire?"

He shrugged a little. "Yeah. Mostly," there was a pause. "Four fatalities. Two kids. A third kid in hospital will probably die too."

Vic sighed, rubbing her hand over his heart. Lucas glanced briefly at her, and rested his hand over hers on his chest while giving her a weak smile.

"Nothing I could've done," he said, matter-of-factly.

He was quiet the rest of the night, and all through Sunday.


	6. Findings

It was hard, dating another firefighter. Harder still when your boyfriend was the Chief and on call in addition to shift work. With Vic working twenty-four hour shifts every few days, and Lucas working ten hour day shifts, they usually only saw each other when she had the weekend off or in the evenings. 

And while Vic knew that a ten hour shift for him was never a ten hour shift (usually he'd be home twelve hours after leaving), she couldn't help but feel that lately, they were fourteen hour shifts instead of ten hour shifts. It wasn't helped by the fact that he'd been on call and called out on one of her nights off, forcing him to cancel dinner on her.

All in all, a week passed with the two of them barely seeing each other. She'd be just going to bed, leaving his dinner covered on the stove, when he got home. 

It was frustrating her. More so because in the aftermath of the three kids dying on the weekend, Lucas had been really quiet and withdrawn. Rationally, Vic knew that he went quiet after traumatic calls to process, but given the context of a HR inquiry hanging over their heads and his really long hours she couldn't help but worry.

"You're being ridiculous," Travis had finally snapped, after spending a week being patiently supportive and listening to her worry. "He's going through the HR process with you because he obviously cares. He still comes home to you every night, right? Look, this was always going to be a stressful, shit time, and having three kids die on a call won't have helped. Just wait it out. Things were good before the HR thing came and stressed you both out, right?" She'd nodded. "Let HR do its thing and then it'll get back to normal."

Even in her anxious state, Vic recognised it was good advice. So she tried to keep it in mind, repeating it back in her head as she lay awake in bed, looking at Lucas' back, and listening to his rapid, uneven breathing that suggested he was no more asleep than she was.

* * *

The following Monday, their shift had just started when Sullivan called her into his office and closed the door behind her. Standing in his office was a familiar looking man - she couldn't remember his name, but she recognised his face as one of the people from HR who'd questioned her for hours. He was an inch or so shorter than her, with a round face and round glasses, balding on top.

"I'm Kyle Preston," he introduced himself, shaking her hand. "We met a few weeks ago at your HR enquiry. We've spent the last couple of weeks at HR reviewing the evidence-" Vic flinched at his phrasing. "And I have a copy of our findings here." 

He handed her a thick sheaf of paper. Vic accepted it dumbly, looking down at it and feeling more than a little nauseated.

"Maybe a quick overview would be good," Sullivan suggested sharply to Preston.

"We need her to read the entirety of the document and sign her agreement -"

"For my benefit," Sullivan said. Vic shot him a grateful look, hand trembling as she flicked over the first page and found a table of contents.

"We have made a finding that there is no case for sexual harrassment or assault," Preston stated. "But that there was an informal agreement between Firefighter Hughes and Chief Ripley to deliberately ignore SFD policy in initiating and continuing a sexual relationship despite being in the same chain of command. We did not find that Chief Ripley had used his position to coerce or pressure Firefighter Hughes, Firefighter Montgomery, Lieutenant Gibson or Captain Sullivan to hide this relationship. Given that Firefighter Montgomery, Lieutenant Gibson and Captain Sullivan all independently knew of the relationship but had not discussed it, they will be separately issued formal reprimands for failing to report a breach of the sexual conduct regulations without being disciplined for conspiracy."

"Firefighter Hughes has been formally reprimanded for her part in initiating and continuing a sexual relationship against the sexual conduct rules of the SFD. Chief Ripley has been formally reprimanded for his part initiating and continuing a sexual relationship against the sexual conduct rules of the SFD, and ordered to attend an additional sexual harrassment workshop. He has also been put on probation for a period of one year in which the SFD reserves the right to terminate his contract without notice or appeal if he does not adhere to SFD policy in any area."

Vic abandoned any pretext of trying to read the document she'd been handed, watching the other man and trying to not let her hands tremble too visibly. 

"With respect to the currently existing sexual relationship between Firefighter Hughes and Chief Ripley," for a man who'd used the word 'sexual' in pretty much every single sentence he'd uttered so far, Preston only now started to look uncomfortable. "The panel found that it was clear there was a romantic...element to that relationship. Under ordinary circumstances, the parties involved would be removed from each other's chain of command. In this circumstance, it was more challenging, as Chief Ripley ultimately has oversight over all aspects of the SFD. We also noted Firefighter Hughes' refusal to adhere to our recommendation that she and Chief Ripley desist from their relationship during the course of the inquiry."

"We have ordered that the relationship can be continued if both parties agree to our set of conditions," Preston concluded, and suddenly all Vic could hear was the sound of blood rushing through her ears.

"Sit down, Hughes," Sullivan's gruff voice broke through her haze, his hand landing on her shoulder and steering her to a chair in front of his desk. She obediently sat, clutching the findings in her hands.

"So we haven't lost our jobs?" she checked, hating that she sounded small and weak in front of these two men. "And we can keep seeing each other?"

"Subject to conditions," Preston hastily corrected, looking pointedly at the document in her hand.

Vic skimmed over the main findings, and the formal reprimands. She looked at Sullivan and opened her mouth to apologise, but he cut her off.

"What did I say about apologising, Hughes?" he asked gruffly.

"Thank you, sir," she said instead after a pause, trying to invest as much of the guilt and gratitude she was feeling as she could into those words. He smiled uncomfortably at her, and she looked back down.

_The relationship between Firefighter Hughes and Chief Ripley can be continued subject to the following conditions. If these conditions are not met, and the relationship is continued, it is immediate grounds for termination of one or both of their contracts with the Seattle Fire Department._

_1\. Both Firefighter Hughes and Chief Ripley absolve the Seattle Fire Department  (SFD) and the Seattle City Council of any liability for this relationship and any mental, emotional or physical trauma that could occur as a result of the continuation or termination of this relationship._

_2\. Chief Ripley is to have no involvement in any disciplinary or promotional actions involving Firefighter Hughes either formally or informally. Any such actions required for Firefighter Hughes will be actioned by her Battalion Chief. This is to occur regardless of whether Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes remain in a relationship._

_3\. As far as possible, Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes will not be working the same scenes._

_3.1 Chief Ripley is not to be rostered on call when Firefighter Hughes' shift is on duty._

_3.2 In the event of extraordinary circumstances where both parties are at the same scene, Firefighter Hughes will be assigned to non-active firefighting duties_

_3.3 In the event of extraordinary circumstances where both parties are at the same scene, and Firefighter Hughes has already been assigned to active firefighting duties, her immediate commanding officer [at present Captain Sullivan, or his delegates] will liaise with her and her buddy to remove her promptly from active firefighting. While she is on active firefighting duties, all communication from her crew will feed directly back to her immediate commanding officer and not through the general communications channel. Her immediate commanding officer will deidentify all members of her crew when relaying information to ensure that all decisions made by the incident commanders are objective._

_3.4 In the event of extraordinary circumstances where both parties are at the same scene and Firefighter Hughes is in a life-threatening situation, the next most senior officer is authorised to take control of the scene from Chief Ripley. He is not to take any part in or influence when or how any rescue attempt or attempts are made._

_3.5 If Firefighter Hughes has been placed under the temporary command of an officer who is unaware of these conditions while at an active scene where Chief Ripley is present, Firefighter Hughes is required to disclose her relationship and these conditions to that officer immediately._

_4\. Chief Ripley is immediately required to disclose his relationship with Firefighter Hughes and a written copy of these conditions to all Deputy Chiefs and Battalion Chiefs. All newly promoted Deputy Chiefs and Battalion Chiefs are required to be made aware of this relationship and furnished with a written copy of these conditions upon their promotion._

_5\. In the event of any transfer between stations, Firefighter Hughes is required to immediately disclose her relationship with Chief Ripley and a provide a written copy of these conditions to her new commanding officer._

6.  _If the relationship between Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes distracts, impedes, or otherwise impacts on either party's ability to carry out their assigned duties it is grounds for immediate termination_ here the words 'of both party's contracts' were crossed out, replaced in Lucas' messy scrawl, 'of Chief Ripley's contract'.

_6.1 Exception is made for annual, family, sick, and parental leave as protected by both party's contracts._

_7. Any sexual activity on SFD property or while either party is on duty is grounds for immediate termination of both contracts._

_8_. _Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes agree that this is voluntary social arrangement that can be terminated by either party at any point without notice or professional repercussion._

_8.1 If there is any suggestion of professional repercussions for the termination of this relationship between Firefighter Hughes and Chief Ripley it is grounds for immediate termination of Chief Ripley's contract._

Vic blinked, and re-read the conditions. 

"Point six -" she began.

"When I saw Chief Ripley this morning to discuss these conditions with him he requested that amendment be made," Preston said. Sullivan reached for the conditions, and Vic handed the document to him. "That's why there's been a slight delay in coming here and discussing the findings with you - we have had it approved and while we will get you to sign this copy, initialling that change as well, we will have a corrected copy available by the end of the day."

"But -" Vic objected.

"He's trying to protect you, Hughes," Sullivan interrupted.

Vic looked at Sullivan, and then at Preston. "I want to talk to him first," she said.

Preston shifted uncomfortably. "We don't want any contact between you that could suggest influence on you to agree to these conditions," he said.

"I'm concerned that this is unduly harsh on him," Vic retorted. "There's like, four different ways in which SFD could just sack him."

"He's lucky he hasn't been sacked already," Sullivan cut in, and Preston nodded.

"Well, I was there with him," she said stubbornly. "It should be even."

"Just let her call him," Sullivan sighed. "Have him on speaker so we can all hear it. Warn him against encouraging her to sign or not sign. Otherwise we'll be here all day."

"I'll record the call too," Preston warned.

"Fine," Vic said, pulling out her phone.

"Wait, to be clear," Preston stopped her from dialling. He held out his own phone, pressing record. "For the record, I am with Firefighter Hughes and Captain Sullivan. Firefighter Hughes has a question about condition six, and has asked to clarify the amendment made by Chief Ripley to this condition with Chief Ripley. Is that correct?"

"Yes," Vic said impatiently. "I'm happy to agree to the conditions, but I think condition six as it originally stood was fairer."

Sullivan rolled his eyes.

"Okay, call him, but everything on speaker," Preston warned.

Vic hit Lucas' number, and put him on speaker.

He answered on the first ring, and she could hear him saying in a muffled voice, "no, I need to take this," before obviously then speaking directly into the phone. "Sorry. Hey."

"Hi, you're on speaker with Captain Sullivan and Mr Preston," Vic warned him. 

"And this phone call is being recorded, Chief," Preston warned him. "Firefighter Hughes has expressed a question about your amendment to condition six. I must emphasise she has not yet formally agreed to the conditions placed upon any continuation of your relationship and as such, I must request that you do not encourage or discourage her to sign this document as that could be construed as exerting undue influence on her."

"Okay," Lucas replied, and she could hear a door close behind him. "What's the question, Vic?"

"Why did you change it?"

He sighed heavily. "These conditions will affect you for the rest of your career, whether we stay together or not. That amendment is to try to prevent you from losing your job from something that is ultimately my responsibility."

"These conditions are already harsher on you than on me -"

"And so they should be," he cut her off. "Quite frankly, I'm lucky they haven't suspended me or terminated my contract outright. If, as per condition six, you aren't able to do your job because of me - that's my fault. If I can't do my job because of you - that's also my fault - no, hear me out, honey. That's my fault because the Chief of this Fire Department needs to maintain some objectivity. And you shouldn't lose your job if I can't do that."

"It just doesn't seem fair," Vic maintained.

"Let me put it another way," he said. "I've had over fifteen years in the SFD with the only thing defining my career being my own conduct. You've had two years in the SFD, and the rest of your career will be affected by me. This is a very minor change to a set of conditions that we will keep irrelevant to try to reduce that impact a bit,"

"I wish you'd talked to me about it first," she sighed.

"Literally couldn't," there was a knock and she could hear a door opening on his end, and a muffled conversation.

 _'Lucas, seriously, we need you back in here,_ _'_ said a muffled male voice.

 _'This is important, Jim, give me a second_ _, mate,_ _'_ Lucas replied. The door closed again. "Vic, I have to go. Did I answer your question?"

"Yeah. I'm going to sign it, obviously. Call me when you're free," Vic said.

"Okay," he said, hesitating. "I'll probably be a couple of hours."

"That's okay."

"Bye."

"Bye."

"Bye, Chief," Sullivan rolled his eyes, reaching over and hitting the end call button for her. She narrowed her eyes at him. "It was getting awkward, Hughes, for the two schmucks standing here listening to you both."

"I'd be sorry, but you told me not to be sorry," Vic said archly. She pulled her pen from her pocket and accepted the pages back, looking at Preston expectantly.

"Initial each page, initial the amendment, then sign at the back," he said, looking a little like he was desperately holding back an eyeroll as well. As soon as Vic had finished that, he handed her another copy. "Three copies. One for you, one for him, one for our records."

By the time she'd finished initialling and signing all three copies, she'd gotten sick of her own signature and own initials.

"You can keep that one," Preston nodded towards the one she had in her hand. "Any questions?"

"One. Obviously I do want to tell my team, but am I required to disclose this immediately to the lieutenants who don't know?" Vic checked.

"No," Preston clarified. "Not unless they're working a scene with you and the Chief; only Captain Sullivan in this station is required to know."

"Okay," Vic said.

"If that's all," Preston raised his eyebrows at both her and Sullivan.

"Thanks," Vic said, shaking his hand. He and Sullivan shook hands, and then Preston left, shutting the door behind him.

"Congratulations," Sullivan said slowly. 

"Thanks. It's done," she said, somewhat dumbly.

"I'll pair you with Gibson and Montgomery until you feel ready to tell the rest of the team," Sullivan said kindly. 

"Thanks, I mean, I want to tell them it's just...I'm kind of tired of answering questions," Vic admitted. "And they'll probably have more even than HR."

"I understand," Sullivan said. 

"Thanks, Captain," she said again.

"Get out, Hughes," he said affectionately. "And when you talk to him, tell Luke congratulations from me too."

Vic grinned at him, and clutching the paperwork to her chest, left his office, heading to the locker room. Travis spotted her, and immediately swung in beside her.

"What was all that about?" he muttered under his breath.

"Not here," she muttered back, waiting until they were in the locker room before shoving the wad of paper at him. "HR got back to us."

Travis looked down at the documents in his hand and back up to Vic, who was bouncing on her heels.

"Good news, I take it?" he asked, flicking through the pages.

"Sort of. I mean. Everyone got separately reprimanded, and Luke's on probation, but subject to conditions we can date."

Travis ran his eye over the list of conditions. "That actually...that's not too bad."

"I know," Vic burst into tears. "Why am I crying? I'm happy. Except it's like, the start of my shift, and I'm not going to see him until tomorrow night because he'll start work before I finish here and I haven't even properly talked to him about it and -"

She was interrupted by the door opening and she promptly shut her mouth, only to glance over and see Gibson. Without thinking, she raced over and hugged him tightly.

"She's crying?" Jack looked over at Travis with a mixture of confusion and worry.

"You'll get reprimanded," Vic said into his chest. "But thank you, thank you."

"Nobody's been fired. There's a lot of conditions, but they can date," Travis explained.

"I haven't hugged Travis yet," Vic realised suddenly, and abruptly let go of Jack to barrel into her best friend. Travis hastily handed the HR paperwork to Jack, who briefly flicked through it.

"Hey, that's great, Hughes," Jack said. 

"So are we telling people about your Mr Hypothetical Hobby?" Travis probed.

"I haven't even spoken to Lucas properly yet," Vic replied. "Sullivan said he'd partner me with you guys for now. I just ... I think I need a minute. I can't answer more questions."

"It's all good. It's been, what, six or seven months? Take the time you need," Jack said. 

"I'll do my best to keep it secret until you're ready," Travis promised.

* * *

 Her phone rang and Vic knocked her chair over as she raced out of the Beanery.

"Vic's been weird lately," commented Maya, frowning after her.

"Probably that guy she hypothetically is crushing on, hey, Montgomery?" Jack commented idly, leaning back in his chair. "Come on, who is he?"

"Hey, she only told me there was a guy recently," Travis said, trying not to smirk back at Jack. "You think she'd trust me with more than that?"

"Not after you spilled the beans the other night," Andy said. 

"Let's leave Hughes' private life alone," Sullivan grumbled into his dinner. 

Meanwhile, downstairs, Vic had answered the phone.

"Hi," she said, suddenly nervous.

"Hey," he replied. 

There was a pause, and then they both laughed.

"That turned out better than I imagined," he said, and Vic could hear his grin down the phone.

"I know, I know," she said. "The probation -?"

"A slap on the wrist, darling. We can date."

"Just not for like, thirty six hours because I'm at work now and you're at work tomorrow."

"I considered sneaking over to see you but Sully should kick me out."

"It's probably pushing our luck. He said to say congratulations to you by the way. Can you push your meetings late?"

"No, they're meetings that have already been rescheduled," he groaned. Vic heard a female voice in the background say, _'I can schedule her in at midday -'_.

"Kim - she's my girlfriend, an appointment's hardly -"

"Wait, do you have a free one?" Vic asked desperately. "I'll take it."

 _'Give me your phone Chief_ ,' and then there was a familiar voice on the line. "Victoria. I'd left his lunch break from 1300 to 1330 tomorrow free, mostly because I expected he'd be running late. I'm going to put you in on the schedule then."

"Thanks, Kim, that's amazing."

"Congratulations," the older woman said, before Lucas was back on the line.

"You shouldn't have to schedule appointments to see me," he said apologetically.

"Look, you've been busy catching up, this is a special occasion, I'm not waiting till tomorrow night," Vic said firmly. "I'll see you for lunch tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Okay."


	7. Lunchtime Appointments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains no plot. It's E-rated smut with mild dom/sub and spanking. If that's not your thing, you'll be able to skip to the next one without missing anything.  
> For those not skipping ahead, I hope this eases the pain of 214 a little.

Lucas glanced up to see Vic waltz into his office, shutting the door behind her and, god, she gave him a  _wink_  before locking it.

His eyes trailed down her figure of their own accord; she was wearing some pretty flowery dress that was short, giving him a nice look at her toned legs right down to some dangerously high wedge heels. She'd belted the dress at the waist, accentuating the killer curves that he knew she had, and his mouth went dry as she continued to _sashay_ around his desk, perching on the edge with her legs crossed. 

His eyes made it back to her face somehow and she gave him a smirk.

"Lucas?" the phone asked him, and Lucas realised he'd completely lost track of the conversation. And with Vic clearing part of his desk, he knew there was no chance in hell he was going to be able to focus.

"Jim, sorry, my 1 o'clock just arrived," Lucas was pretty proud of how even his voice sounded. "I'll call you back." He slammed the phone down without waiting for a reply.

"Hi, baby," Vic said with a big grin, uncrossing her legs and allowing him to stand between them.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he asked, realising that her dress was designed to give anyone taller who stood directly over her looking down - like he was - an eyeful of her beautiful, perky breasts.

She laughed, and pulled him by the tie into an open-mouthed kiss which he returned eagerly.

As her hands trailed from his hair down his shoulders and to his belt, however, he broke away, grabbing her hands before they could inflict too much damage.

"Vic, I'm pretty sure point number 7 -"

"Hasn't stopped us before," she pointed out, eyes dark. He watched her tongue dart out and moisten her plump, ever-so-kissable lips and swallowed hard. "Besides, this is a special occasion. We're now allowed to date."

"Subject to conditions including point 7," he protested, but he knew it was weak. 

Vic pulled one of his hands up her dress, and his knees nearly buckled as she pressed it directly to her. He let go of her other wrist to hastily grab at the desk to steady himself.

She wasn't wearing underwear, the minx.

"Feel how wet I am, at the thought of you in your uniform having me in your office," she whispered huskily into his ear. Her other hand went directly to the front of his trousers and rubbed the half-erection he was trying desperately to ignore through the fabric. 

"Kim's right outside," he panted, his hand under her dress moving, seemingly of its own accord to confirm that yes, she was ready to fuck.

"She's gone out to lunch and locked the outer door too. You can have me any way you want,  _Chief_ ," Vic purred. He groaned, and she leaned back onto the desk, pulling his hand out from under her dress. "Or we could just have lunch like Kim."

He hadn't even noticed the takeaway containers.

"You can't leave me like this," he said desperately, gesturing down at the state of his trousers as she pulled her hand away. She grinned triumphantly, and this time when she brought her hands to his belt he let her unbuckle it. She carefully unzipped his trousers, pushed them and his underwear down, and dropped to her knees to lick at his now mostly-hard cock.

"Fuck," he said as her lips closed around him, and she looked up at him with her big brown eyes. She sucked, slowly letting her lips and a hint of teeth drag back along his dick before releasing him. 

He could feel her breath against him as she repeated, "any way you want, Chief."

"Keep sucking while I decide, Hughes," he ordered, frantically running through his options as she obediently wrapped her tongue around him again. On his desk was a given. He didn't want to risk breaking his chair, so not that. Against the filing cabinets held no special appeal (beyond the obvious). Letting her just blow him was a waste of that dress and an erection.

[He had never quite understood other men's seeming fascination for being blown. Like, he enjoyed it, but he much preferred to be able to actually properly  _feel_ a girl's body against his and be able to bring her off at the same time].

His desk it was. He grabbed her hair.

"My desk," he ordered, pulling her up into a kiss and backing her against it, and then bending her down over it. He helped hoist her hips over onto his desk, and pushed her skirt up. He trailed kisses down her exposed cleavage, then straightened back up.

Lucas paused, needing to commit this image to memory of his Vic flat on her back on his desk, her curly hair fanned out in waves, her legs spread, in a hot dress,  _for him_.

"You gonna fuck me, or just stand there staring, Chief?" she asked throatily.

"Oh I'm gonna fuck you," he promised, grasping his cock and guiding himself inside her. Her eyes rolled back as he slowly slid in.

She was so wet that he was close to bottoming out already. He pulled partway out and slowly stroked in deeper, and deeper, watching with pleasure as she gasped and writhed underneath him.

"You feel so good, Hughes," he grunted, accentuating his words with another slow, deep thrust. Her breasts were practically calling to him, so he leaned forward, with one hand pushing a thin strap down her shoulder to allow him to push aside the light material and let his lips close over a lace-clad nipple. He rocked into her as he sucked on her breast, and she moaned, bringing a hand to the back of his head and pushing his face closer to her breast.

He was content to spend a bit of time just rocking into her like that and, so her other breast didn't feel neglected, he did slide over and give it an equal amount of attention.

Eventually however, the urge to just have her properly took over, and he couldn't do it at that angle, so he straightened back up and started to fuck her slow and hard.

If she looked good before she was an absolute wet dream personified now. Her eyes were glassy with pleasure, each slow thrust had her breasts moving enticingly in their lacy bra, and she lazily drifted a hand down to where they were joined to help bring herself off. 

He brought her as close to the edge as he could with these long, deep strokes and just as he figured she was about to come he pulled out.

"What?!" she gasped, eyes flying open and glaring at him.

It was his turn to smirk at her, as he braced his hands on his hips.

"Get up, Hughes," he said. She eyed him balefully, but did what he ordered. "Turn around and bend over."

She did, bracing herself against the desk with both arms. He pushed her dress back up around her waist to expose her gorgeous ass.

He lined himself up and teased her with just the tip of his cock.

"God, Luke, just fuck me," she complained.

"First, this is for distracting me from work," he growled, then spanked her left butt-cheek.

She moaned.

"This is for impeding my work," he continued, spanking her right butt-cheek harder, pleased when she whimpered his name.

"And this," he gripped her hips hard enough to bruise and thrust in, bottoming out immediately. "Is for seducing me into breaking condition seven within thirty-six hours."

"Oh god,  _Chief_ ," he had to pause, surprised to feel her walls convulse as she came around him. "Oh god oh god."

[He'd never been able to make her come just from penetration before].

She was still convulsing around him, but he couldn't hold back any more. So he gripped her hips tightly and fucked her tight cunt hard and fast through her orgasm, restraint in tatters. As he did, she continued a steady chorus of _oh gods_ , and he had to bring a hand around from her hips to clamp over her mouth, muffling her words.

"You gotta be quiet, love," he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. She bit his hand in reply, but then swiped her tongue over the bite. 

"Lucas,  _baby_ , yes," she moaned his name into the palm of his hand as he thrust in again, and he could feel his balls tighten as she contracted around him again.

"Hughes," he groaned, straining to keep his eyes open so he could memorise everything about this moment. He was on duty, in uniform. It was less than thirty six hours after being forced to explicitly agree to not do this in order to keep their jobs and their relationship. And he was balls deep in his clever, brave, hot-as-fuck girlfriend who was bent over his desk. "Victoria. Sweetheart." 

And then he was coming inside her and everything went white.

* * *

 "That was perfect," Vic sighed. She twisted and kissed him gently. 

" _You're_  perfect," he said. She beamed at him, and they quickly tidied each other up with wandering hands and a few sweet lingering kisses.

Finally, they were both presentable (and, thankfully for his blood pressure, his ever-practical girl fished a pair of knickers from her handbag and slid them on). Lucas checked his shirt was properly tucked in as she went to the door (in what was definitely his favourite dress ever now) and unlocked it, opening it to sit just ajar. He noted with relief that Kim wasn't back yet, and the outer door was still shut.

They'd clearly timed it just right as not more than five minutes later, they could hear Kim re-entering her office very loudly. Vic grinned at him over a mouthful of her Pad Thai, and he grinned back. Truthfully, right now he was having trouble with the skill of eating; gazing at her was taking up most of his cognitive ability.

Sadly, the peace was shattered by a indignant exclamation from his PA.

" _Battalion Chief Frankel_ , he's got an important lunchtime meeting -"

Frankel being Frankel, naturally ignored her, and simply pushed his door open.

"What's this about making me do the school run?" she demanded as she stalked in. "Hi, Hughes."

"Ma'am," Vic bit back a smile.

"I've got a meeting scheduled for that spot tomorrow, now, and you're the only person free."

"I can't fucking talk to schoolkids," she complained, throwing herself into the chair beside Vic. 

"It's not difficult, Deb," he said. "And you really can't just treat my office and my PA like your own personal stomping ground."

"Oh please, I saw your schedule yesterday and saw that you'd put 'VH' in as your lunchtime 'meeting'," she paused. "Aren't you two supposed to like, not even look at each other at work for fear of the universe imploding or something?"

"I'm taking my scheduled half-hour lunch break," Lucas said piously.

"You've never taken your scheduled half-hour lunch break," Frankel rolled her eyes. "Anyway. Sorry to interrupt your lovey-dovey meal,  _again_ , but seriously, please tell me I can at least use your presentation to try to recruit the little turds."

At that Vic did laugh, placing her plastic fork in her now-empty takeaway container.

"Look, I'm done," she said, standing, checking her watch. "And we're a little over your scheduled half-hour break, so I'll head home."

"Thanks for lunch," Lucas said, unable to not grin foolishly at her.

"I'll see you tonight," Vic promised, leaning over his desk to meet him for a quick, but not exactly chaste kiss.

"Yep," he said a little breathlessly, trying not to blush under Frankel's smirk. He couldn't not watch her go, though, and as the door shut behind her he met Frankel's knowing gaze, cursing the redness he knew was travelling down his neck.

"Look at you all besotted and doe-eyed in your post-coital haze," she teased."Can't blame you, though, she clearly came in determined to seduce you although I bet she didn't have to try all that hard looking like  _that_."

"No idea what you're talking about," Lucas said evenly, taking another bite of his lunch.

"Sure," she said sarcastically, before pausing and adding with uncharacteristic warmth, "it's nice to see you so happy, Rip."

"Wait, are you being  _nice_  to me?" he asked with mock-incredulity. 

"Hey, I never said or saw anything, and you never heard me be nice to you," Frankel said.

"Deal," he replied.

"So, recruiting schoolchildren," she returned to the topic at hand. He checked his watch.

"You have ten minutes then I'm kicking you out of my office to return a phone call," he warned, opening up the powerpoint he usually took to the local school career days.


	8. On Call

Vic was stretched out on the couch, a comfortable, fluffy blanket wrapped over her as she journaled about the HR findings. She had come home, had a nice hot shower, and had promptly napped, feeling very satisfied. After all the stress and worry about HR, it was nice to relax, particularly after having had really super hot sex with her super hot, amazing, not-secret boyfriend. 

She gave herself a mental deadline of a week. She'd let all of this wash away a bit, and then she'd tell him she was in love with him. Vic's insides tightened nervously at the prospect of it, after all, she was only  _pretty sure_  that he was in love with her. He was fond of her, he liked her a lot, and obviously he was into an actual relationship with her but that was different to being  _in love_. Like, the head over heels, crazy, irrationally, desperately in love that she was.

And once that was done, she'd tell her team. 

She was going to need the time to work out how to tell them. Probably outside of work. Did she want Lucas there? He should probably be there. Did he want to be there?...yeah there was a lot of things to sort out.

Her phone rang. "Hi," she said, heart warming as she saw it was Lucas.

"Hey," he sounded terse and stressed, and the warmth that had begun to spread through her chest suddenly halted. "I'm sorry, but I've just been called to a scene and it'll be another big one."

"I thought you weren't on call today?" Vic said sharply.

"I wasn't, but Chong's kid got sick so he's at the hospital with her," Lucas replied. "And it's either me or Marks who are free, and Marks can't because he's rostered the day after tomorrow."

"Luke, you know I understand, but it's just this is a big day and I want to see you now that I can  _see you_ ," Vic pressed the point. "Can't you swap with Marks?"

"No, because he's on call the day after tomorrow," Lucas repeated. "When you're on shift. I can't be rostered then. No-one else has put their hand up, and I can't just leave it uncovered." He paused. "I'm as annoyed as you are."

"I'm glad I came for lunch," Vic sighed.

"So'm I," his voice was suddenly deeper than normal.

"Come over anyway, whatever time," she said. 

"Okay," he hesitated. "I am sorry. Thank you for coming to see me today."

"Be careful. I'll see you later," Vic said. She hung up, good mood suddenly evaporating and leaving her cold.

* * *

Lucas sighed as he hung up the phone, staring at it a moment before taking a deep breath. He understood Vic's irritation, hell, he more than shared it. He'd pretty much resigned himself to losing his job, and had only hoped to save Vic's job, and to find that he was able to have both her and his job was...

Well.

If there hadn't been so much else going on, it would have been overwhelming. As it was, Lucas was feeling the impact of emotional whiplash acutely. He still couldn't stop thinking of the little boy he'd glimpsed through the window of the apartment building as it had gone up in flames.

As an EMT he knew there were some patients you couldn't save. As a firefighter he knew the panic that set in when you were surrounded by flames. The panic that he, as an experienced, geared-up firefighter he still had flashes of whenever he was surrounded by fire.

He again shoved away the thought of how scared that little boy would have been before he died.

The trouble with being an experienced firefighter was that, increasingly, every time he had one of those kinds of calls it just brought back all the other faces that were seared into his memory over a fifteen year career. It wasn't just little Declan Rhodes he was thinking of, it was all of them. All of the what-ifs.

To go from that on the weekend to being able to openly date Victoria...

Lucas knew he wasn't exactly a realist when it came to love; he'd fallen fast and hard for both his ex-wives, and had married both of them quickly.

But Victoria. He'd fallen in love with her like a tonne of bricks; faster and harder than he'd ever done. He'd basically sworn off committed relationships, having only occasional casual sex in favour of his job. And now he was able to date this woman, this amazing, funny, sweet, challenging, gorgeous woman who understood his love of firefighting. All this: not two days after three children had burned to death in a scene he'd run.

He took another deep breath, and pushed all these feelings into their little boxes, locking himself away behind the need to be the Chief, and run this 4 alarm fire in a hotel kitchen. This evening he needed to evacuate the upper floors, vent the lower floors, and contain the structure. He couldn't do that and think about Vic, or Declan Rhodes, or Claire Sullivan.

It was after eleven pm when he parked outside Vic's apartment building, turning the ignition off with a heavy sigh. There'd been a dozen or so smoke inhalation injuries, but no fatalities, thank god, and while the hotel kitchen was gutted, the engineers had confirmed the structure was stable. So, all in all, a good night and he was now desperate to climb into bed with his girlfriend. He let himself into her dark apartment, taking a quick shower to wash off the soot and sweat, before sliding into his side of the bed.

He couldn't help but be grateful that Vic was a heavy sleeper. She didn't wake, but automatically rolled towards him, her freezing cold feet resting against his shins. He tucked his chin over her head, stroking her curly hair as he held her close.

"I love you," he whispered to the quiet, dark room. "I'm sorry."

She snored in response.

* * *

His phone rang, stirring him from a restless sleep. 

He fumbled for the phone, successfully answering on the second attempt.

"Ripley," he said groggily, scrubbing his eyes.

"Chief, sorry to wake you," said the person at the other end of the phone. "There's an accident off the I-5. A vehicle's rolled over the -"

"Who is this, and is this a call to notify me, for advice, or to call me in?" Lucas interrupted grumpily.

"Sorry, sir, this is Firefighter Johnson from Station 23 on behalf of Captain Rodriguez," Lucas closes his eyes as on the other side of the phone, he can hear a muffled conversation about whether Rodriguez wants him in or not. "Um, yes sir, we'd like you to come in because -"

"What's the address?" Lucas interrupted. Vic stirred as he disentangled himself from her. Lucas quickly tucked the blanket around her shoulders, and she seemed to settle as Johnson rattled off the address. "I'll see you there in 5."

He quickly dressed and cast a sad look back at the nice warm bed with his nice, warm, cuddly girlfriend before heading out the door. Lucas turned the ignition, and listened to the radio chatter.

He probably actually had only needed to be notified about this - it didn't sound at all likely that there was any structural compromise to the overpass. But it was Lucas' policy to always go if asked (he knew that was an approach not necessarily shared by all his battalion chiefs and deputy chiefs) and Rodriguez was a junior captain.

His suspicion was confirmed when he reached the scene, and eyeballed the semi-trailer that had swerved to avoid the car that had flipped over onto the underpass. The semi-trailer had made a decent impact into the wall, but the actual overpass looked fine. Nevertheless, he allowed Rodriguez to tell him about the scene and stuck around as they extricated the driver of the semi-trailer. [The driver of the car was DOA].

Lucas made a point to pull both Rodriguez and Johnson aside once the driver was out.

"Quick thing," he said. "I don't mind who calls me - some of the Battalion and Deputy Chiefs do prefer hearing directly from the Incident Commander. I don't care - but I do ask that the phone call be quick. If you're calling, just give me your name and station, whether you want to notify me of an incident, ask advice, or call me to the incident. That way, if you're notifying me, I don't really have to wake up properly, I'll wake up for advice, and I'll start getting dressed if you're calling me in and get a proper handover at the scene. Got it?"

Both men nodded, and while Johnson seemed more than a little cowed, he didn't seem upset so Lucas figured he hadn't been too harsh.

"All right, I'm going now," he said. "Call me back if you need."

He hopped back into his car, and swore as he saw it was already 0530. He debated whether to just go back to Vic's and curl around her for another hour or so, but in the end, decided he'd better just go into work and prepare for his 0730 meeting with the chiefs.

The meeting in which he had to disclose his relationship and provide them all with a written copy of the conditions on his relationship with his girlfriend. HR had agreed that 'immediately' would allow for a disclosure two days after their findings given there was a meeting already scheduled and Vic was off-duty. In a way, Lucas kind of wished that he'd just disclosed it via email to allow himself from distance from their reactions.

* * *

He was kind of fond of Frankel, in the same way you'd be fond of a particularly obnoxious cat. She was a good officer, but her sense of humour had a dark streak and she was one of the most insensitive people he'd ever met.

Still, this morning she was demonstrating an unprecedented capacity for empathy. Lucas knew he was a little distracted and scatty through the first few agenda items, partly from nerves, and partly from the effects of the three strong coffees he'd already had in order to compensate for the less than four hours of sleep he'd managed to get. He was used to Diaz helping smooth the meeting over, but Frankel was stepping up too, most unexpectedly.

"Well, shall we move on?" she asked, shooting him a glance, and wrapping up the last listed item on the agenda.

"We're done, aren't we?" asked Green.

"There's an additional thing I need to discuss with you all," Lucas' mouth was suddenly dry, and he could feel himself break out into a sweat. He quickly tapped send on the draft email open on his phone. "You've all just received a memo regarding a recent HR investigation." He scrubbed at his beard, and took a quick breath.  _Go hard or go home_ , he told himself. "This investigation was into my relationship with a firefighter in Frankel's battalion."

"Sorry, what?" Hawkins spluttered, choking on his coffee.

"And by relationship, you mean..." Bryant lifted an eyebrow.

"Like...a female firefighter? You're not about to come out as a -" Marks clearly swallowed a different word. "Gay. No offence." His gaze drifted over Frankel, who glared at him.

Lucas blinked. "Uh. Yes? I mean, no I'm not gay. Her name is -" he could feel his face warming, and he looked down and coughed. "Victoria. Hughes." He knew without looking that Frankel, and probably Green, Ramirez, and Reynolds were smirking at him. "Anyway. It's a condition of our continuing relationship that you are all notified and provided with a written copy of the HR requirements as there are some specific criteria around scene management if we are both at a scene."

There was a few minutes of silence, as the room read the attachment to the email. Frankel, who'd already received a copy as Vic's Battalion Chief, gave him a small smile that he suspected was supposed to be reassuring.

"Right," De Vrietz drawled. "Well, for the next meeting I'd like to  _again_  put the issue of how we need to be putting a larger percentage of funding into upgrading our firehouses. I hope, Chief, now that you've locked down a regular root that you'll be able to devote some time to the issue of our firehouses that are falling apart instead of chasing some skirt around." He got to the end of that sentence mostly because nobody was able to process his words quickly enough to interrupt him.

Lucas saw red.

He wasn't the only one. And while Lucas forced himself to take a deep breath, Frankel exploded. "You misogynistic prick!"

"That is  _out of line_ ," Diaz shouted in the same breath.

"The fuck, man?" Lee demanded, less angry and more...disapprovingly bewildered. 

"Quiet," Lucas snapped over the hubbub. The room went dead. He shot a glare at Frankel who froze, halfway out of her chair, glare fixed on De Vrietz. "Sit. Down." She did, reluctantly.

Lucas made himself take another breath.

"Don't talk about her like that," he said flatly, entertaining himself with visions of throwing De Vrietz out a window. "Don't you _dare_  talk about her like that." 

There must have been something in his tone that gave away his thoughts, because De Vrietz paled. "My comments about her were unnecessary and inappropriate," he said stiffly. Lucas continued to try to bore a hole in the older man's skull with his eyes and sheer force of will. "I apologise," De Vrietz ground out after a long pause.

"I don't seem to recall  _you_  being available to pick up an extra on call shift last night," Chong cut in to De Vrietz. "There's thirty-four people here in the room and when my kid came off her horse and fractured her skull, the Chief and Marks were the only two to volunteer. No one in this room works harder than the Chief."

"Regardless, it's not a matter of not having time to look into the issue of the firehouses," Lucas interrupted. "It's a funding issue, De Vrietz. Which area are we going to take money from in order to upgrade the firehouses? Fire prevention? Hazmat training?"

"We also need to look at our on call budgeting," Diaz, his Assistant Chief of Operations spoke up. "Last night was not an isolated occurrence. Over the last twelve months, the Chief has effectively picked up an average of 1.2 additional on calls per month at the last minute. Clark and Reynolds have also picked up a couple of extra shifts in that same period. Now, sometimes they're for sick leave," Diaz nodded towards Chong, before narrowing his gaze at the group. "Sometimes they're because someone  _forgot_  and had a drink, Poulton, or was out of town, De Vrietz, or their phone wasn't charged, Perez. The Chief effectively exists as a permanent second on call and the volume of calls he receives is escalating rapidly."

"1.2 per month? Really?" despite himself, Lucas leaned over to check Diaz's numbers.

"It's a miracle you managed to find time to woo her at all," Green said amiably. Lucas glared at him, but the other man simply gave him a good-natured smirk.

"We need a second on call roster, to fill in that gap if it occurs," Diaz concluded. 

"So we can find funding to provide a second on call roster for the Chief to go on date night," Marks said. "But not fix firehouses?"

"Well, actually," Ramirez leaned forward with a wolfish smirk. "We'd be depriving the Chief of some of his overtime pay, but I'm sure he'd appreciate the extra time with his partner."

"I mean, you can't seriously have a second on call for each battalion," Hawkins protested. "That would double the amount of on-call we all do."

"No, just the one person should do," Green said. "By Diaz's numbers, it would be one a month that would get called out as second on."

"We are one of the few departments in the country without that sort of system already in place," Diaz noted. Lucas' eyes narrowed at his colleagues who had clearly already planned this. He glanced at Frankel who gave him an innocent shrug. "Actually," Diaz continued. "Why wait till next month's meeting? Show of hands - if there's a two thirds majority for changing to a second on call roster I can just start drafting one for next month onwards. All in favour, raise your hands."

Lucas raised his, unsurprised to see that the conservative faction of De Vrietz, Marks, Allen, Price and Barnes kept their hands down. All of his progressives voted for it, as did most of the centrist group, easily obtaining a two-thirds majority.

"Excellent. I'll pull up a draft roster for us to approve next month," Diaz said after a quick count. "And I think we're done."

"I've got one thing to add," O'Malley spoke up, glaring about the room. "As far as I'm concerned, Chief Ripley has reported this relationship to HR who have clearly done a thorough investigation into the matter and closed it. This country seems increasingly divided, even in its firehouses, but I think we can all agree that spouses, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, kids, and any other family members are off limits to petty gossip, innuendo, and politics. That needs to extend to Miss Hughes." He fixed his gaze on De Vrietz.

"Thanks, O'Malley," Lucas said after a moment, taken aback. He and the other man were not close; O'Malley had a reputation for being a bit of a hardass, and he was a dyed wool centrist who in his thirty-five year career with the SFD had managed to keep his head down and get on with the job. "I'd appreciate that. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say or ask me?"

There was silence, and Diaz nodded decisively.

"Excellent, we're done," he said, and the group began to stand and trail out.

"Patrick," Lucas called, moving towards that side of the room. "Seriously. Thanks."

"When you became Chief I thought you were a young hothead," O'Malley said, somewhat disapprovingly. "I still do, Ripley, even if you did just stop yourself punching that fool in the head. You're a good man, but you're a young one." O'Malley's smile turned wry. "A young, good looking, single Chief was always asking for a scandal, but your girl doesn't deserve to be harassed because of you."

Lucas smiled crookedly. "Well, I don't know that I exactly qualify as young, or good-looking, and I'm certainly not single any more," he said. "But I appreciate you speaking up. I was going to ask something similar of them, but it'll have more impact from you. So thanks."

The other man nodded, and left without ceremony. Lucas headed back to his spot, sighing internally to see Diaz, Green, Frankel, Ramirez, and Reynolds standing there with expectant grins on their faces.

"Soooooo," Green waggled his eyebrows. "Ripley's got a girlfrieeeend."

"What are you, five?" Lucas replied irritably.

"Is she pretty?" Reynolds asked, and Lucas cursed his fair complexion as he blushed. "Ooh, she is."

"Are you  _blushing_ , Rip?" Ramirez teased.

"Thanks for the blindside on the second on call, by the way," Lucas said, brushing them off.

"I hadn't planned to quite get that far but it was a nice opening," Diaz said. "You deserved time off even before you had a girlfriend. Now that you have one, if you want her to stick around, you'll need to actually  _see her_. And for a lot of us, we're not available at short notice because of kids and partners and stuff - a second on call roster should formalise things and reduce your extra call-ins although you'll still get them."

"Not to mention if  _anyone_  fucking has their phone switched off when I'm second on call it'll be the last fucking time they do it," Frankel said darkly. "You're too soft on them."

Lucas leveled a sharp look at her. "Accidents happen," he said mildly. "Nobody's done it twice, yet."

"See, Rip's actually got people skills so he doesn't just cuss them out or slit their throats when he's wronged," Ramirez objected. 

"Anyway, Rip, what station is she at again?" Diaz asked. "I'll make sure their roster man CCs me so I can roster you appropriately."

"19," Lucas replied. 

"19? I'll keep my eye out," Green said.

"You're married, she's taken," Frankel said pointedly.

"Don't mean I can't admire Rip's scenery," Green replied. Frankel punched him in the arm. "Ow!"

"Tom -" Lucas shook his head. "Don't."

"I'm joking -"

"I know you are but she's going to get a lot of those kinds of comments, most of which won't be joking," Lucas said sharply. "I'd rather she didn't get them from my friends too."

"She'd better have balls of steel," Diaz commented soberly.

"She does," Lucas shot a small grin in Frankel's direction, unable to hide the pride in his voice. The other men looked questioningly at Frankel, who rolled her eyes.

"She called me a bitch to my face," Frankel said.

Green choked.

"She what?!" Diaz coughed.

"A firefighter under  _your direct command_  called  _you_  a bitch, to your face?" Reynolds spluttered.

"And then said I deserved it," Frankel shook her head in begrudging admiration. 

"Did you?" Green asked a little trepidatiously. Frankel gave a bit of a sheepish shrug as Lucas checked his watch and swore internally. He was five minutes late for his meeting with Alison and Jim.

"Thanks for your support," he said gruffly, quickly throwing everything into his messenger bag. "I have to go. Shoot me a copy of the second on call roster, Diaz, when you draft it up."

"Chief," Diaz nodded, and Lucas tried not to hurry too obviously out of the room. He was relieved to hear them start in on Frankel, because it meant he had a few minutes to clear his head without anyone walking with him to his office.

"Frankel, if you don't want people to call you Rip's pet you gotta stop doing shit like that," Reynolds was warning her.

"Shit like what?" she asked defensively.

"Don't be his attack dog," Green said. "He can handle himself."

"You know, it wasn't about him as much as it was for her. I'm the only woman in this room. I've met Hughes. She's a good firefighter for all that she's green as grass. Whatever happens with her and Ripley, I won't have her hounded out of the SFD because we can't afford to lose promising young women like that."

"She'll never make it past Lieutenant with him as Chief," Diaz pointed out. "Don't get too attached."

"Why shouldn't she, if she's qualified?" Frankel objected. "I'm not saying she'll definitely be suited to promotion further than Lt, though I'd expect her to get there, but why shouldn't she go further?"

"It looks bad -"

"What looks bad is the fact that you've decided she can't possibly get promoted all because of who she's seeing?"

"What about Herrera's kid? You were singing a different song there," Ramirez pointed out.

"Herrera promoted his own kid!" Frankel retorted. "He didn't follow any of the usual processes..."

Lucas sighed, relieved and grateful Vic had happened to be in Frankel's battalion, and slightly sick in the stomach at the conversation. A conversation he had no control about because he had to have nothing to do with her career. Even if that meant watching other people sideline her. His thoughts drifted around this as he entered his office to find Jim and Alison waiting impatiently.

"Sorry, the chiefs meeting ran over," he said. "Come on through. Kim got you water, coffee?"

"Yes, thanks," Jim replied. 

Lucas waved them to the chairs in front of his desk and took a seat.

"I know it's early," he said. "But I missed breakfast. Mind if I snack?"

They shook their heads, and Lucas opened up the drawer.

His candy had disappeared; and in its place was a container of mixed nuts, a bag of some sort of dried vegetable crisp that looked disgusting, and a few muesli bars. There was, he was relieved to see, a block of dark chocolate, with a post it reading,  _Victoria said this was sort of healthy so we thought you could have this as your special treat_.

Lucas was a little irritated (damn it, he liked his sweets), but he couldn't restrain a small smile at it all. Vic would hate it if he said something as corny as that she changed his life, but here was the proof in a little drawer of muesli and nuts and disgusting looking dried vegetable crisps. He grabbed a handful of nuts and resolved to fire Kim.


	9. Drifting

He was running late. Again.

They'd gotten the HR report back, and they'd both kept their jobs, and they'd had really hot sex in his office and then...

And then he'd been called out that night, twice. If it hadn't been for the sooty undershirt he'd left lying on the bathroom floor, Vic wouldn't have known he'd actually come home the night of the hotel fire. 

He'd gotten back to hers late, after 8pm, that next day and he'd looked so exhausted that she'd bitten her tongue. Lucas had eaten, mechanically, and then literally just crashed face-down into his side of the bed.

Then she had been back at work the next morning, and they'd started their day frantically running around her apartment getting ready for work (he hadn't ironed his uniform for the day and she'd misplaced a boot). A hastily exchanged kiss, and then it had been another twenty four hours away from him.

It was a broken record. He'd been home after 8pm last night, and tonight, he hadn't even bothered to text her.

She'd eaten, and was sitting watching TV when he stepped into her apartment.

[Vic wished she could be angry enough to have just cooked for herself, but she hadn't been quite able to make herself be that petty. Not when he looked so exhausted].

"You eaten?" he grunted by way of saying hello.

"Hi, Lucas," she replied sarcastically. "How was your day? Mine was good. I went out with Travis to the markets-"

"Vic, please," he said tiredly, rubbing at his beard. "Hi. I'm sorry. I had a shit day. Have you eaten? If you haven't, please do, and I'll shower."

"What is going on?" she asked.

"Nothing."

"Bullshit," she said. "It's been a week since we got the HR report back and we've barely seen each other. You seem about as enthused about us being able to date as -"

"Vic, I'm ecstatic I can date you," he interrupted. 

"For someone who's ecstatic to date me, you haven't dated me," she said. "And now you're shutting me out."

"It's work," he growled. "Just because I can date you now doesn't mean I can tell you everything that's going on -"

"When have I ever asked you to do that?" Vic's voice rose.

"You're doing it now!"

"I'm asking you what's been going on to keep you at work every day this week after 8pm so that I barely see you and you turned around and said  _nothing_. You could say, Vic, I can't tell you about it because it involves personnel issues, or it's the budget, or whatever!"

"Vic, I can't tell you anything about it," he bit out. "And you know my job has long hours and -"

"Are we okay?" she burst out, twisting the blanket in her hands.

"What?"

"Are we okay? There's something you're not telling me, Luke, and it's been that way since before the HR report. You got in ahead of me with the conditions on our relationship -"

"The HR department is in my building," he growled. "They just came -"

"Why didn't we do that together? Why didn't we negotiate the conditions as a team?"

"There was no negotiating!" he yelled. "I changed  _one thing_ , Vic, to try to reduce the impact on your career. We didn't do it together so that they could be sure I wasn't pressuring you to  _sign away your rights under the sexual harassment clause of the SFD_  towards me!"

Vic's jaw fell open, and Lucas looked at her desperately.

"That's effectively what condition 1 entails, Vic," he said, rubbing his beard. "You are protected from professional repercussions from me by condition 8.1, but you have essentially just said to the department that you will never come to them about me sexually harassing you. If in future I do, you will have to go through the much slower criminal courts-"

"What the  _fuck_ are you talking about, criminal courts, sexual harassment?" she exclaimed. "I'm asking you why you're home late and why you aren't talking to me and  _are we okay?_!"

"I'm home late because of work, and I can't talk to you about it because it's really sensitive and confidential," he snapped.

Vic blinked back tears. "And are we okay?" she asked quietly. 

He looked stricken. " _Vic,_ I...I just...I wish I could but I cannot talk to you about this."

"You still haven't said that we're okay," Vic said quietly, getting up from the couch. She pressed a brief, chaste kiss to his lips. "I'm going to bed. Your dinner's in the fridge."

"Vic, please," he said helplessly. "The fact that you're asking if we're okay means you think we're not." He hesitated. "We're fine, as in you and me. That hasn't changed. There's...stuff going on at work that won't affect us I think but it's..." he sighed. "It's complicated. I'm trying to keep you out of it, but I also can't guarantee that it won't ... that your career..."

She stopped, hurt.

"My  _career_  isn't what I'm worried about," she said. "I'm going to bed. I'll...I'll see you tomorrow before I go to work."

She walked the few steps into her bedroom and collapsed into bed, drawing the blankets up over her head. She listened to his slow tread as he followed her into her room.

As the shower turned on she let herself cry. She'd just about ran out of tears, and was almost asleep when the shower turned off. Lucas walked back out to the kitchen, and she listened to the microwave run and then beep.

She was dozing when she felt the bed dip beneath his weight. He lay on his back, and Vic was about to give in and roll over into him when she felt rather than heard his breathing hitch.

She'd never actually seen Lucas cry before, and she wasn't sure what to do.

They may have only been six inches apart but it felt like there was a ravine between them.

* * *

 When she got out of the shower the next morning, he was on the phone.

"Okay," he said, pushing a mug of coffee towards her. "I'll see you in about half an hour." He hung up. "I'll be in the office today."

"But it's a Saturday," he simply shrugged. "Guess it's a good thing I'm at work then," Vic said bitterly, sipping the coffee. "Tomorrow?"

"Hopefully not," he said. She gave him a tight smile, and they sat in a subdued silence for a while.

"How long will this go on for?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I'll hopefully know after today."

She drained her coffee and pecked him on the cheek. "I'll eat at the station." 

"Vic," Lucas said, then hesitated and sighed. "Stay safe. Please."

" _Hopefully_ I see you tomorrow then," Vic replied. "And you don't have to work then too."

* * *

 Of course her team noticed. Travis pulled her aside as soon as he saw her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, brown eyes filled with concern. 

"I don't know," Vic admitted. "You know how I said he was stressed and things were bad and you said they would get better and just to be patient? Well, they've gotten worse if anything."

"Surely he's happy about the report -"

"He says he is, in the like, thirty seconds I've seen him all week." Travis frowned. "Yeah. He's been coming home after 8pm every night, and he was called out twice the other day and so I've like, barely seen him, and every time I have he's exhausted and last night we had a fight and I was right there's something going on but he won't tell me what it is - I mean, I've never once asked him to tell me something that's confidential, not once, and all he had to do was say that he couldn't tell me but instead he said that nothing was happening and it's not unreasonable to just want him to be honest is it?"

Travis blinked, but before he could answer, Vic continued. "What if it's me?"

"What?"

"What if he's realised I'm not worth this and now he's stuck with me and -"

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say, Hughes," Sullivan interrupted, and Vic jumped, having not noticed him step into the room. "It's not you; he thinks you're worth it." Vic knew she looked skeptical. "I'm only going to say this once, Hughes. I've known him a long time. If you asked him to crawl naked on broken glass he would. He put his job over his two marriages, and I know he told HR that if they wouldn't let the two of you be together that he would rather have you than have his job. So stop looking like someone's murdered a cute puppy in front of you and get to work."

Vic threw herself into work for the rest of the shift, avoiding being drawn into conversations by the others as much as she could.

* * *

"Hi," she smiled tightly as she walked in.

Lucas looked up from his laptop. "Hey," he replied. "How was work?"

"Long," she said shortly, disappearing into her room. He heard the shower turn on and sighed.

He wanted to tell her. Both because it would hopefully  _fix_  them, but also because he needed to talk to someone outside of it all.

But he couldn't. Couldn't implicate her like that. It hadn't been an explicit condition of their relationship, but if it got out he'd told her, Lucas had no doubt that he'd be fired on the spot.

The part of him that kept flicking back to and proof-reading the open letter of resignation on his laptop really couldn't care less. But the more rational (and more ambitious) part of his brain knew that wasn't an answer. If he did that, bowed out, it would let them win and leave Vic completely exposed. By staying Chief, he could protect her more than as her stay-at-home boyfriend.

He sighed, pressing the heels of his hands over his eyes. He needed a drink. But it was 9.30 am and he couldn't. So Lucas took a breath, and went back to work.

"You working?" Vic asked, sitting on the opposite end of the couch and wrapping a blanket around herself. Lucas nodded.

"Next week," he said. "It'll probably be done by end of next week. Well. Partly. I should be able to tell you about it then."

"Okay," Vic looked at him for a long moment, nodded, and reached for the TV remote.

* * *

He woke with a start, mouth dry and heart racing, a small pale face against a third storey window seared into his mind's eye.

Vic was asleep on the other side of the couch, a shitty looking 90s daytime movie still buzzing in the background. Lucas glanced at his watch to see that it had just gone past midday. 

Fuck it, he needed the drink, he thought as he put his head in his hands. He wasn't on call this weekend. Fuck the department if someone couldn't be arsed to pick up their phone.

Lucas stood, and made his way into her kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. He poured a generous measure of scotch into the glass, and gulped it down.

Too quickly, and he eyed the glass empty but for a thin film of scotch. He poured himself another measure, less generous this time, before re-capping the bottle and putting it away. He picked up the glass and started into the lounge again.

Her dark eyes bored into his and Lucas froze. She obviously hadn't been as asleep as he'd thought, but there was no point hiding the scotch even if that had been a good idea.

"It's only just midday," Vic said groggily, furrowing her brow.

"It's five o'clock somewhere," the quip was like ash in his mouth, and he sat down back on the couch, taking a sip of the scotch before setting it down on the coffee table.

Vic's hand landed on his forearm.

The question hung unasked in the air.

He debated with himself briefly, but Lucas knew  _something_  had to give. And he was allowed to talk about Declan - he just didn't want to. Didn't want to need her too much. He'd managed for years without anyone to share this part of the job with - while the peer support group helped, he always held a part of himself back.

Showing emotion was fine, healthy. But by that Lucas always meant tears in his eyes. Not sobbing like a child.

Her hand squeezed his forearm.

"I saw him," inevitably, it spilled out of him. "Declan. At the window when I got there. Just a moment, a glimpse. But he was definitely there. He wasn't pounding on the windows or anything; just standing there. And then he disappeared in the smoke. I moved L18 right over, but by the time they'd broken the glass and managed to enter, he was burned to a crisp. Couldn't have gone up the stairs - they were too busy trying to contain a stampede to get out on the third floor if they could even have safely entered the floor. And everyone needed to be out. They should've been out already."

He tilted his head up to the ceiling, squeezing his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling.

"He was going to be four in a couple of months. He wanted to be a train when he grew up. Not a train driver, his mom said. A train. Like Thomas the Tank Engine."

Lucas tried to stop there, that was enough, she understood, but it came out anyway.

"He saw us. He saw the fire trucks, must have thought he'd be okay, and he burned anyway."

Tears spilled out from behind his closed eyes, and he felt her calloused hands gently turn his head and pull him towards her. Lucas couldn't resist, burying his face in the crook of her neck and trying to stop his sobs.

"I didn't need to know he liked trains," he said into her neck, his arms wrapping around her.

"Come here," Vic urged, pulling him with her as she lay back down. He wormed a leg between hers, and pulled himself as close as he could.

Vic said nothing. She stroked his hair, and rubbed large circles on his back.

 _God_  he needed her so much it hurt.

Not just because he loved her (and he did; recklessly, headily, the only way he'd ever loved), but because she  _understood_  him and knew what to do and what not to say.

If this all went wrong, he was beyond fucked.

* * *

She didn't know what to say. So she just held him tightly as he sobbed into her neck, stroking his hair. Eventually, his breathing evened out and he fell asleep, half on top of her. He was heavy, but his weight anchored her, grounded her. 

Vic looked down at him, still stroking her fingers through his curls, and allowed herself to admit that she was worried. She was worried about him; he'd spent so much time at work and on calls and he was clearly exhausted. She'd never seen him drink like this, and she was pretty sure that Declan and the apartment fire were just the tip of the iceberg of what was bothering him.

And she was worried about  _them._ The hint that he'd let slip through earlier worried her. The HR investigation was sewn up; she'd thought they were good but clearly not. It felt like she was back in limbo, waiting for the HR findings, except now she didn't know what she was waiting for. Vic hated not knowing; and she knew trying to press Lucas on it would only mean more fighting.


	10. Public

"VIC!" Travis' bellow could be heard through the whole firehouse, and Vic immediately knew something was wrong. She jumped out of the reception chair and hit the stairs, charging up. "VIC!"

She followed the noise to its source; the dayroom, where Travis and Maya were sitting and watching TV. Maya looked confused, but Travis was sitting forward looking mildly horrified.

"Watch -" he said, turning the volume up on the Seattle Council...budget meeting? She knew Lucas was scheduled to go in today for that, and sure enough, it was him on the screen.

"- don't see how this question is relevant to the issue at hand," Lucas was saying.

"You've made some pretty serious accusations about the mishandling of public funds. I'm asking you if you've ever broken protocol."

"Mr Burns, I have never mishandled public funds," Lucas replied.

"That's not what I asked, Chief Ripley," Burns said, before lifting up a heavy document. "I'm just interested as to how you managed to find time to play financial crimes detective whilst pursuing a sexual relationship with a vulnerable junior firefighter under your command."

Vic's heart froze. From the lounge, Maya looked at the screen sharply, and then at Vic, then swore.

"My personal life is private," Lucas said through gritted teeth.

"You're a public figure as our Fire Chief. You're supposed to keep us safe, and yet it seems that the women in your department are not safe from you."

She could see Lucas freeze. "If there have ever been any complaints or allegations of harassment towards me, I have never been made aware of any. If you are referring to the romantic relationship which I have voluntarily disclosed to HR, Mr Burns, that has been investigated, and the matter has been closed. And again, sir, my private life is not relevant to the matter at hand."

"What the hell, Montgomery?!" demanded a disgruntled Sullivan as he entered the room. "You can't just -"

"Shh," Travis hissed, and Sullivan was so taken aback he was momentarily silenced.

"I'll ask you, sir, not to say my partner's name," Lucas had obviously cut in over the top of another question. "I might be a public figure, but she isn't. Clearly you're going to insist on continuing to ask me questions about my personal life that have no bearing on the budgetary questions I have been asked to comment on, but my partner's name is not relevant to this forum. And she doesn't know our relationship has been raised as an issue in the budget."

"Oh shit," Sullivan's eyes widened, and he looked at Vic as his phone rang. "Sullivan. Ma'am. Yes, ma'am, she's right here watching with me." He handed the phone to Vic.

"Hughes, it's Frankel," the voice at the other end of the phone said brusquely. "You're watching the news?"

"Yes, ma'am," Vic said.

"You've just been caught up in a shitstorm of city politics," the other woman said bluntly. "We're trying to get him out of there. Don't say anything to the press until we get there. Does your family know about him?"

"No," Vic said faintly.

"Tell them," Frankel advised, before pausing. "I'm sorry, Hughes, for what it's worth."

"I don't know what's going on," Vic admitted. "I mean - is he in trouble?"

"Only professionally," Frankel said. "They're trying to discredit him and bury this under a sex scandal. Sorry, kid. Look, I have to go, we're trying to do damage control but you needed to know. I'll see you in a bit." The phone went dead, and Vic handed it numbly back to Sullivan.

"-HR investigation that you continue to want to discuss was into a consensual relationship," Lucas said calmly. [Too calmly. Watching the close shot of him, Vic could clearly see the tic in his jaw]. "This committee is tasked with developing the biannual Seattle Budget -"

"In the course of conducting this ongoing affair," Vic flinched as the questioner interrupted snidely. "Have you ever used your SFD credit card?"

"No," Lucas said through gritted teeth.

"Your work-supplied vehicle?"

"The vehicle SFD provides for my office is a private vehicle as well," Lucas said. "I do use it for personal transport as authorised under-"

"You ever had sex in that car that's paid for by public funds?" 

Vic had never seen him so angry, and she can't help but be impressed at how well he's controlling himself.

"Turn it off, I can't watch this," Vic snapped. Travis did so obediently. "No."

"No?" Travis asked.

"No we haven't had sex in that car," Vic shut her eyes tightly, and she heard Maya swear loudly in the corner.

"I didn't ask -" Travis said.

"I know, but I didn't want you to think that I wanted you to turn it off because he was going to say that we had. I wanted you to turn it off because he's so uncomfortable and I can't watch him look like that," she said.

"What the fuck, Hughes?" Maya asked.

Vic pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead. "This is not how I wanted you to find out."

"Hughes," Sullivan's tone is gentle. "Do you want me to get the troops and do this all at once? I think that will be easier. Save you repeating yourself."

"Yes, Frankel suggested I do that," Vic nodded, staring at the floor.

"Okay. I'll get everyone into the Beanery in five," Sullivan said. "You go, take a minute."

"Vic -" Maya began.

"Bishop, give her a minute," Sullivan barked. "Beanery in five. Let Vic tell the others."

"Let's go, Vic," Travis pulls her along the corridor into the women's toilet, locking the door behind them.

"This must be what he's been stressing about," Vic said to Travis. "I still don't even know what's going on."

"There's budget holes," Travis explained. "That's what they said anyway. They're suspecting that money's been embezzled -"

"Oh shit," Vic said.

"Yeah. I think this is big. Really big."

"It's not Ripley," Vic said automatically. "He wouldn't -"

"No, I think he's forcing it into the limelight," Travis said. "That's why they're actually properly televising it."

"Oh god," Vic said, leaning back against the sink. "But how bad can this be for us? I mean, this can't be all that interesting-"

"Vic, it's super interesting for the press," Travis said, eyes wide. "You're part of a sex scandal."

"It's not like that," Vic said, hurt. "How can you -"

" _I_ know it's not like that," Travis said. "But the public don't. And this is being broadcast, Vic."

"HR clears him -"

"Nobody will care about those findings because the talk shows will still talk about how there's an inherent power imbalance," Travis interrupted. "Hopefully he can keep your name out of it-"

"He's buying me time," Vic sighed. "You're right, I know you're right, and anyway, that slimey asshole who was questioning him has a copy of the report." She felt sick. "If he has the full report, he's got a lot of detail about our relationship. _Fuck._ " She could feel the panic bubbling up inside, and forced herself to chant the song. "Okay."

"Can I get you anything?" Travis asked helplessly.

"I don't think you can exactly walk in there and get me him, so no," she said bitterly. 

He sighed and shook his head. "I'm here for you."

There was a banging on the door. "It's me," Gibson's voice called through the door. Travis glanced at Vic, who nodded, and he went and unlocked the door, letting Gibson in.

"You do both realise this is the girl's toilets?" Vic said with a shaky smile.

"Hey, it's every guy's dream," Jack quipped, equally weakly, before glancing at Travis. "Every straight guy, that is?"

Travis rolled his eyes at Gibson.

"Look, we've got your back, Vic," Jack said. "Travis, me and Sullivan. We won't let this get out of hand."

"I'm sorry, Jack, for being awful about you and Andy," Vic blurted out suddenly. "It's so hypocritical of me to now be-"

"Hey, hey, don't worry about it," Gibson cut her off. "It's fine. It's clear Mr Hypothetical has changed your opinion on relationships. It's different, anyway," a strange expression crossed his face. "You can't help who you ... catch feelings for."

"He's going to lose his job because of me," Vic said softly.

"Victoria Hughes, your boyfriend is a fully grown adult man who over a period of, what, seven months, has consistently chosen to date you. That's his decision. Let him take the consequences for that," Travis said firmly.

"I just - if he starts to resent me -" she said incoherently.

"You're being stupid," Gibson said bluntly. "He jumped out of the engine when it was still moving when you were helping that MVA couple because he was worried you were hurt. Anyway, you're worrying about stuff beyond your control. You need to take a breath, and then we're going to go out and talk to the team, and we'll all support you."

Vic took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay."

She exited the women's bathroom flanked by Gibson and Travis, and she knew it looked weird. Sullivan simply shook his head at them as he spotted them coming down the corridor from his position at the head of the table.

"All right," Sullivan said, gesturing for them all to take seats. Travis and Jack sat on either side of her. "Team meeting. Some ground rules: no yelling. Think before you speak." He fixed each person with a glare. "All right. Hughes. Take your time."

Dean looked confused, and Andy tilted her head. Maya stared right through her. Ben gave her an expectant, sunny grin.

 _I'm a little teapot ..._ "I'm dating Ripley," the words fell from her mouth.

"What, as in ..." Andy frowned. "As in,  _Chief Ripley_?!"

Vic nodded. Ben and Dean's jaws slowly dropped. Maya didn't blink.

"Great, more secrets," Andy said snidely, and Vic flinched.

"Hey," Jack glared at Andy.

"You kept a secret?" Dean shook his head. "What,  _how_?"

"How long?" Maya asked sharply.

"Seven months," Vic heard her voice squeak.

"Seven MONTHS!?" Maya's jaw dropped as she repeated Vic's words incredulously.

" _You_ kept a  _secret_ ," Dean repeated. "For seven months?"

"We - I - we were going to tell you soon," Vic said, feeling safest staring at the table top. "We just... actually, we just went through a long - super long - HR process. And there's a whole bunch of rules that we need to follow but we can keep dating."

"Wait, I thought you hated the Chief? You were the one who complained about him constantly while he was interim captain," Ben said, confused.

"I..." Vic blushed. "We got off on the wrong foot."

"Then they _got off_ on a very _right_ foot," Travis said suggestively.

"Travis!" Vic elbowed him, hard, as Sullivan made a face.

"So Montgomery knew," Andy said, eyes narrowed. "Who else?"

"Gibson knew first, he's known the entire time," Vic said. "I told Travis a couple of months ago. I don't know exactly when -" she looked to Sullivan.

"Ripley and I are friends," the other man said. "He told me the day - well, he sneezed when you were sick and gave you two away. So not long after Montgomery, I think."

"Wait, wait, all this, 'Vic has a crush' thing you guys were ...what? Covering?" Dean said, looking between Vic, Jack and Travis.

"The HR investigation was going on," Vic said. "I didn't want to say anything until we knew what they said. And maybe if I hadn't been quite so drunk I would've come up with an excuse to not-fake date you, Miller, but I couldn't exactly say I couldn't because I'm not single."

"And Vic  _sucks_ at keeping secrets," Gibson chimed in. "So Travis and I played it off."

"Not that Travis is much better," Vic muttered obstinately. "And I managed for ages!"

"See, Vic, I don't really care that you're dating the Chief - although I never would've picked you as going for a guy old enough to be your dad -"

"He's not that old," Vic said defensively.

"He's my age, Hughes," Sullivan interjected with some humour. "Same age as Warren."

Vic paused. "Really?" she asked, looking a little surprised. "I mean, I knew he was the same age as you, but the same age as  _Warren_?"

"I'm not that old!" it was Ben's turn to sound defensive. "Certainly not old enough to be Hughes' dad."

"Anyway - I didn't think you were into older guys, or relationships for that matter - but it's more, you  _hid this from us_. That's the bit that hurts," Dean said. "And, kind of, what else have you been hiding? Cos in my head, you're terrible at secrets, but as I'm sitting here, I've realised I know that Gibson was a foster kid, I know that Bishop's brother is a junkie, I know Andy's mom died when she was young, way too much about Warren and Dr Bailey, and I know about Michael. Hell, I even know that Sullivan's wife died."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "But you? I know you lived in New York once. That's it. Oh, and now I know that you like older guys who outrank you."

Vic felt herself freeze over, the words like daggers in her heart. She'd tried to brace herself for that kind of reaction, but hadn't actually thought her team would say that to her. About her.

"Wait, no I didn't mean it like that," Miller said quickly, over Travis' shouted defence of her. He reached across the table and grabbed her forearm. "Vic. I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry, I just meant people you shouldn't date."

"It's just me and my brother who's deployed," Vic said, unable to meet his eyes. "Our parents are dead. Mom died of cervical cancer five years ago, and Dad died in the line in 2003. I don't talk about my family because there's nothing to talk about."

"Does your brother know about your hobby?" Travis asked. Sullivan choked.

"No. When Mike's on deployment he's hard to get onto. I spoke to him for about five minutes at Christmas," Vic answered.

"Your _hobby_?" Sullivan's voice was high. 

"We needed a codeword," Travis shrugged.

"I still think we should've gone with Riptide," Gibson said sullenly.

"Cos that's super subtle," Vic said sardonically.

"As subtle as falling off an exercise bike cos he walked into the room?" Travis teased her, and Vic glared at him. He simply grinned back. "Hey, I've been supportive. Now's my opportunity to tease you about how ridiculously unsubtle you are."

"Waving buddies," Andy suddenly laughed.

Vic went red. "We weren't ... that was before we..." she said weakly.

"Hey, and that time you shoved an entire bagel in your mouth to try to not tell me something, he walked in, and you said hi with a mouth full of food," Miller added. 

"Also, before," Vic muttered.

"Hang on," Maya said slowly. "That conversation in the engine. The day of the storm. You were  _flirting with him_ while I was trying to go for a  _job interview_."

"That was  _after_ ," Gibson said, smirking at Vic, and she just wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

"So this is why he's always here?" Ben realised. "And why he came with us to that call where you were helping that couple after an MVA?"

"I thought the engine hadn't completely stopped before he jumped out," Andy remarked.

"As entertaining as this might be," Sullivan interrupted. "There are some serious matters to cover. Do you want to start with what happened today, or the conditions, Hughes?"

"What happened today?" Ben asked.

"It's not exactly a secret, now, it's on the news," Maya commented. "What's going on, Vic?"

"I don't have all the details," Vic admitted. "Ripley had to talk -"

"What are you, some weird X-Files couple?" Ben asked incredulously. 

"X-Files couple?" Vic asked with a frown.

"Mulder and Scully?" Ben said. "I'm saying - do you seriously call him Ripley?!"

"No," Vic said. Everyone looked at her expectantly, and she looked at Sullivan in confusion. "I mean, I call him Lucas. Or Luke. You know. His name. To him."

"She always calls him Ripley to me," Travis interjected. "It's a little weird."

"Okay, fine," Vic felt a little off balance. "That was not the bit I thought you guys would be weird about, but okay. All I know is that Lucas had to go to the budget committee this morning, which is televised, and in doing so, he's apparently told everyone about some dodgy finances. That's literally all I know about what he was talking about; but they've started questioning him about us to make him -" she sighed. "To make him look bad."

"No talking to the press," Sullivan said. "Anyone calls, you say no comment and hang straight back up. Understood?" They all nodded. "Do you want to talk about the conditions, Hughes, or do you want me to?"

"Conditions?" Andy asked.

"We had to agree to them for HR to let us keep seeing each other," Vic replied, feeling drained. "There's eight all up." She rattled them off and Gibson looked at her in surprise.

"You  _memorised_ them?" he asked incredulously.

"They're -" Vic shrugged. "They're important."

"That's really unfair," Maya frowned. "You getting stuck away from active firefighting -"

"If he's at the scene," Sullivan interrupted. "Bishop, it's far too dangerous to have the incident commander distracted because his girlfriend's inside a burning building. That's why there's that condition, and that's why any officer can take control of the scene from him if she's in trouble."

"This is serious," Dean said more than asked. Vic looked confused. "A serious relationship."

She bit her lip and nodded.

"Any questions?" Sullivan asked. "Otherwise I think we're done."

"Like,  _how?_ " Andy asked, shaking her head.

"How?"

"How did this start?" Dean agreed.

" _He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?_ " Gibson sang, and Vic blushed again.

"Um, I don't know it just sort of ... happened. And then...well...it's just good. Things are really... good," she was thankfully interrupted by a bark of laughter from Sullivan.

"That's pretty much exactly what Rip said when he told me," he said, shaking his head and getting up from the table. "I'm going back to work."

"Thanks, Captain," Vic said, catching his eye. He gave her a nod, and disappeared.

Vic looked back at her team, her people, and blinked back tears. "You're all taking this really well," she said.

"I'm a little hurt you didn't tell us," Ben said. "But I'm happy for you."

"Be glad I didn't tell you. Jack and Travis and Sullivan all got reprimands for not turning us in," Vic pointed out.

"I'll wear mine like a badge of honour," Jack said cheerfully. 

"Chief or not," Dean said, stretching out his massive arms. "I will  _end_ him if he hurts you."

"I can take care of myself," Vic retorted, but she grinned at Miller. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

She glanced nervously at the girls, who hadn't yet said anything and who both looked less-than-thrilled.

"Well, that's one less secret in the station, I guess," Andy said bitingly.

"Do you talk to him about us? I mean, just because he won't be involved in promoting or disciplining you doesn't mean he won't be involved in our promotions or-" Maya began.

"I mean, obviously I talk to him about my day but," she took a breath. "But it's like a general thing. We generally try to avoid talking about work."

"Come on, Bishop, he's not interested in hearing about us," Travis said sagely. "His only interest is Vic." Vic blushed again.

"What _do_ you talk about?" Dean asked curiously.

Vic shrugged. "Stuff. I don't know," she feels a sudden yearning to go back to just the two of them, locked in her apartment, lying in bed and talking about nothing in between bouts of not talking about anything.

"You can talk for hours about nothing?" Ben asked, tone gentle. Vic shrugged and nodded, and he settled back, exchanging a satisfied grin with Travis.

"What?" Vic asked defensively.

"It's sweet, isn't it?" Travis said with a grin.

"Super sweet," Ben said, before catching Vic's eye. "Look, you two sound super weird on paper, but obviously it works for you." Nobody said anything for a moment.

"Any other questions?" Vic asked.

"Just. How is it that our little Vic is in a committed relationship?" Dean threw his hands up in the air. "You and Bishop. I figured you and Bishop would join me in singles corner."

"Well, sorry," Vic said. "But you and Bishop will have to go on the prowl on your own. Now, can we go back to work?"


	11. Explanations

"Hughes," as Vic came down the stairs she heard her name being called, and looked over to Sullivan's office. 

And stopped dead on the last step as she saw an unimpressed looking Sullivan, his arms folded across his chest and scowl firmly in place standing next to Frankel and two other people she didn't know.

"We need to talk," Frankel said briskly, and Vic reluctantly headed to the Captain's office. "This is Mallory -" she indicated a short, plump, middle-aged woman with a short, dark brown bob and bright red glasses. "And this is Joseph."

"Hello dear," said Mallory warmly, taking her hand and shaking it. "We're part of the SFD PR team."

"PR team?" Vic echoed uncertainly, looking to Sullivan automatically.

"I don't think this is appropriate, Hughes," Sullivan said, glaring at Frankel. "You should not be doing media things to protect someone else's career."

"It's in her interests to protect Ripley's job -" Frankel began.

"What the hell are you implying?" Sullivan demanded.

"I'm not implying anything except that if her boyfriend is out of a job then I think things will be more challenging," Frankel retorted. 

"Ignoring these kinds of things rarely plays well publicly," Joseph cut in with a pleasant smile. "We just want to help mitigate the effects of this."

Vic blinked, unsure what to say.

"We think you should start with a joint statement," Frankel pronounced.

"Joe and I were talking on the way here, and we have an early draft," Mallory agreed enthusiastically. "And then, if we get you two to do that tomorrow, ideally as he goes in for tomorrow's hearing, I think we can get you two a spot on an afternoon talk show -"

"What the hell is going on here?" a familiar voice cut through the conversation coldly and quietly. Vic looked over her shoulder, relief flooding her as she saw an angry and surprised looking Lucas standing in the doorway.

"Mallory and Joseph from the PR team will help us manage the optics of this situation -" Frankel began, and Vic watched in alarm as Lucas' nostrils flared.

"The OPTICS of the situation?" he actually bellowed, and Vic felt rather than saw both Mallory and Joe shrink back.

"Excuse us," she cut in quickly before Lucas could continue his rant. She brushed past Joe and Frankel, grabbing Lucas' elbow. He resisted for a moment, but then allowed her to pull him along the corridor into the downstairs bunk room. Vic closed the door and locked it behind them.

"I had no idea they were here, I swear," he said immediately, turning and facing her.

"I believe you," she said, a little surprised at how vehement he was.

"I promise, my priority here isn't the optics -" he practically spat the word. "It's us. You. I ... I danced around it today because I couldn't ... I needed to say in person to you not to a conference room of strangers." He took a deep breath.

"I've been worried that I'll scare you off, that this will be moving too fast and I didn't want it to get tangled up with the HR mess and then by  _this_  but I am head over heels, crazy in love with you. I have been for a while. It's okay - I'm not expecting you to say it back or anything - but I just know that it's going to just spill out of me if, when, they keep asking questions tomorrow in the hearing. I'm so sorry you've been dragged into this - I guess I was laughably naive to think that this wouldn't happen but I really thought it was very unlikely that anyone would actually bring it up. I'll try to keep your name out of it if I can."

He paused for breath, and Vic took the opportunity to interrupt.

"Wait, you love me?" she asked.

He blinked, and paused. "Of course. Wasn't it obvious?" She shook her head dumbly. "Vic. I thought the dogs on the street knew how I feel I about you."

"I thought you were having second thoughts -" she said, shaking her head.

"Me having second thoughts? About you?" he repeated, clearly taken aback, then laughed suddenly. "When you're so damned loveable?" He paused, before admitting, "I thought  _you_  were having second thoughts."

"I wasn't the one avoiding me. You. I wasn't avoiding you, but you were avoiding me," Vic stumbled over her sentence.

"I wasn't avoiding you," he protested. "I was working on this thing and I needed to keep it quiet so it was being done in addition to my normal work and I was behind because of the HR interviews. I ..." he suddenly looked small. "I thought you changed your mind about telling people about us. About me."

"You were so distant and you seemed so stressed and I didn't want to make you more stressed because I know you don't want people to know -" 

"I mean, I was stressed. I am stressed. I didn't mean to be distant. I ..." he rubbed at his beard. "About other people knowing. I was angry when I found out Montgomery and Gibson knew because it just seemed to be adding risk to an uncertain situation - I thought you thought of us as being casual and I didn't want either of us to lose our jobs over that. And then I didn't want work to find out because it's always better if we tell them - it looks better. But now... we're dating, right? So it's okay if people know. I mean, I wish less people than everybody who watches the daily news knew but..." he shrugged, looked down, and then met her eyes, his hands reaching for hers. "Baby, I want to show you off. You're my awesome Vic."

Vic blushed, feeling warm under his soft gaze. She squeezed his hands. "My guy. My sweet, handsome, scruffy Lucas."

She was more than content to just stand there, holding his hands, and gazing into his blue eyes. After a moment, however, she sighed, knowing there was a room of people waiting for them. "So is this the thing you couldn't tell me?"

He nodded, sitting with a sigh on the edge of the bed. She sat down next to him, automatically reaching for his hand back and lacing their fingers together.

"My predecessor left the SFD budget in a mess," he said baldly, running his thumb along hers. "I mean - you probably know this from the testimony I gave today -"

"I only heard you were testifying when Travis called me in because they asked you about me," Vic interrupted, shaking her head. "I couldn't watch you talk about us. It's ..." she scrambled for an adjective. "It felt so uncomfortable. You looked so uncomfortable."

"I was. I swear, I didn't think it would get brought up. I knew it was possible, but HR reports are supposed to be confidential, and one of them had a copy of the whole investigation. The long form. Not just the summary of findings," he sighed heavily, looking at their joined hands. "This is what happens when fifty people in HR know, though, I guess. Gossip spreads like wildfire. And I didn't realise this whole thing would be televised live. That was a last minute thing."

"Anyway. So yeah, my predecessor left the budget in a mess. I've been working on untangling some of the weird sub-sections and found some budgetary abnormalities like having more budgeted for replacement stock than the stock actually costs. Over the last two years I've been slowly finding and correcting these errors. I was complaining about this to Jim Ward, a friend of mine who's the new Chief Operating Officer for PD - um, he's their budget guy, I guess - and Jim was saying he'd noticed the same thing in their budget. We thought it was a bit weird, so we talked to a friend of his, Alison Schimmer, from Council who's involved in drawing up the council budget and basically all up, we were looking at almost forty million dollars over a year - or eighty million over our bicentennial budget from council. Jim spoke to guys in the financial crime area and got them to have a look at it and it looks like there's been a conspiracy involving high ranking members of the SFD, SPD, Council, and the accounting firm that does the city's business to embezzle money. This has been going on for years."

"Holy fuck," Vic said. Lucas snorted.

"Yeah. This has all been over the last couple of months. I had no idea it would escalate like this, and while criminal proceedings are about to commence, they'll take years, so it turned into a council inquiry. The Mayor's almost certainly going to lose his job, as will one other counciller."

"So you're in there testifying to all of that," she checked. He nodded. "And then they bring me up to discredit you."

"Did you hear the question?" she shook her head. "It was along the lines of, have I ever broken protocol? I couldn't perjure myself, and they had the details anyway."

"Who's they?"

"It's complicated. Basically, there's a been a bit of a clear out of some of the old guard in the SFD and SPD, as well as some of the council bureaucracy. It's more complicated than the old guard versus the new guard, but that's an easy enough way to explain it."

"But you're not elected, so bringing me up doesn't -"

"There's internal fire house politics too, Vic," Lucas said tiredly. "I'm young for a Chief. There's a few other guys who've been around longer who are disgruntled to say the least. I probably can't get fired, but they might try to force my resignation, particularly if this becomes a big scandal locally and I can't work through it."

"Hence Frankel's presence - generate some good PR," Vic sighed.

Lucas shook his head. "She's here off her own initiative, because she's in my corner politically," he said firmly. "You're not...our relationship is  _ours_. I don't want any part of politics in our relationship, and I don't want you being put out there to save my career. You're not a good little housewife to stand behind me nodding while I give some statement for the benefit of my career, or for us to do interviews or anything like that. Our relationship isn't for PR, it's for  _us_. They can all get fucked."

Vic felt a surge of relief. "I...I don't want you to lose your job over me," she said quietly, squeezing his hand. "But I don't - I'm tired of talking to other people about our relationship. I don't really want to be on the TV or in magazines as  _that girl_." 

He looked relieved. "It's not over you, it's over politics. We're on the same page though? No interviews, no magazine spreads, nothing. I'm trying to keep your name completely out of it. I'll probably have to issue a statement, but I was just going to issue a written press statement, not a televised one," he hesitated. "I do want to make sure I'm saying something you're comfortable with."

"I'm happy if you tell them to fuck off out of our business," Vic said archly. He chuckled. 

"I wasn't going to be  _that_ short and simple. I fell in love with a member of the SFD in my chain of command, and that we voluntarily disclosed our relationship to the HR department who has approved our relationship under the condition that I am removed from her chain of command. This relationship is private and entirely unrelated to any misuse of public funds that is the cause of the current inquiry into SFD, SPD, and Seattle Council finances," Lucas suggested. "Something like that, anyway."

"That sounds fine," Vic said, frowning as she tried to replay their conversation in her mind.

"What?" Lucas asked, looking concerned.

"Have I told you that I love you?" she asked, still going back over their conversation. "Cause I do."

The fatigue immediately lifted from him, and he gave her a shy, hopeful grin. "You do?" he asked.

"Of course, silly," she said affectionately, lifting the hand not holding his to his cheek. "Even when you're stressed and grumpy, you make me so happy and I'm - I've never felt like this about anyone before. I am so in love with you."

His eyes dropped to her lips and he charged forward, cupping the back of her head gently as he kissed her firmly. His other arm snaked around her waist, and in turn, Vic wrapped her arms around his shoulders and slid across onto his lap. She poured every ounce of emotion she could into the kiss, breaking apart only when her lungs started to burn.

"I should've told you that a long time ago," she said softly, gently caressing the corded muscles in his neck. "I was worried it was too fast and I wanted it to be not part of the HR thing but that was all stupid-"

"Hey, hey," he interrupted gently, squeezing her waist. "I didn't say it either. And it doesn't matter because we're here now. I'm not letting you go. Don't worry about jobs, the public, the brass in Sully's office - any of it. I want you. I love you. I need you. Everything else is frosting on the cake, and I'll take unfrosted cake over frosting any day." He paused, frowning. "You're the cake in this scenario."

"Good metaphor," Vic giggled at him, feeling warm and fuzzy as he looked at her with his soft blue eyes. Her eyes drifted of their own accord to his lips, and he smirked at her again before closing the distance.

If she was only able to do one thing for the rest of her life she would definitely pick kissing Lucas Ripley.

"I love you," he whispered with a goofy smile as they pulled apart breathlessly. "But we should get back."

"You mean you'd rather go stand in a room with PR people than take advantage of this convenient bed here with me," Vic teased, twisting a strand of his hair around her finger.

Lucas chuckled. "I'd love nothing more than to lock ourselves in a room away from everyone," he said earnestly. 

"But," Vic sighed, unwinding her hands from around his neck and sliding off his lap.

"But," he agreed, standing with her. "Tuck the back of your shirt in, honey."

She mock-glared at him as she did so. "And you were the one who said we should abandon the bed. Your hair's a little messier than usual but  _I_ restrained myself and didn't start undressing you."

He grinned at her, and attempted to smooth his hair back in place.

"You got a passport?" he asked suddenly, following her to the door.

"What?" she turned in surprise.

"When these hearings are done, let's take that damn vacation. You wanted a beach. Let's go to Mexico. Or Greece. I saw a special on flights to Greece the other day."

"I don't have a passport," Vic said slowly. "Do you mean it?"

"Get one. I've always wanted to go to Greece," he said. "I'd love to go to Greece with you."

"I'll get a passport if you promise to not wear a shirt there," Vic flirted shamelessly. He gave her the cocky smirk she adored, and Vic ran her fingers up his chest to his shoulders. "I love you, Luke." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "I really am in love with you."

"I love you, Victoria," he said, resting his hands on her hips and reciprocating with a kiss behind her ear. "I love you more every second of every day."

"You're so corny," she said, but the disapproval in her tone was belied by the huge, bright smile she gave him. "It's a good thing you're loveable anyway."

Lucas grinned, and let himself kiss her one last time. "Ready?" he asked.

"Let's do this," she said with a heavy sigh, turning to unlock the door and stepping back out into the corridor. Her stomach was churning, and she was grateful for the fact that she could feel Lucas hovering right behind her - not touching her - but there.

The occupants of the office looked up as they neared, and Vic felt her cheeks warm as Sullivan glanced at Ripley, glanced at her, then rolled his eyes at them both.

There were a  _lot_  more people in the room now, all in their dress uniforms, and it was more than a little intimidating. 

"This is Hughes?" said a tall, solemn, Hispanic man. 

"Vic, this is Mateo Diaz, my Assistant Chief of Operations," Lucas' hand landed on the small of her back, and Vic leaned back into it subtly as she shook the man's hand. "That's Battalion Chiefs Tom Green, Simon Ramirez, and Al Reynolds." She shook hands with each of them in turn, and felt Lucas step forward a little, his chest brushing her back, and she could feel his voice rumble as he asked sharply, "is there a particular reason that the ACO and four Battalion Chiefs are in one station?"

"That was my question as well, sirs," Sullivan said.

"We need to work out the SFD response as well as your personal response," Diaz said, clearly the spokesman. "Frankel came out here early, because it took us a while to get rounded up."

"We think the joint statement from you and your girl -" began Ramirez.

"Hughes," Sullivan cut in, before Vic could say anything. She could feel Lucas bristling behind her. "Her name is Hughes.  _Sir_."

"We think a joint statement from you and Hughes is an excellent idea," Reynolds continued smoothly.

"Mallory and Josh have worked on a first draft," Frankel said briskly before Vic or Lucas could say anything. "We want to emphasise your -"

She was interrupted by the overhead pager. "Ladder 19."

"That's me," Vic said over the top. 

"Sullivan, send someone else," Frankel said.

"It's Vic's job," Lucas said. "At least  _one_  of us should do our actual job."

"Besides, it's condition number six," Vic said, thinking wryly that it was odd that she felt so fond of that condition right at that moment. "He knows what I think." She turned, and exchanged a quick, meaningful glance with Lucas before racing to the barn.

She swung into the ladder behind Travis and Maya.

"Everything okay?" Travis glanced over his shoulder as he pulled out of the barn.

Vic took a moment to breathe. "He loves me," she said in wonderment. "He's in love with  _me_."

Travis burst out laughing.

"What?" Vic asked defensively.

"Nothing," Travis said. "It's just...yes. I've been telling you that for weeks. Chief I'm-Going-To-Risk-My-Job-By-Going-To-HR-Myself isn't exactly subtle about it."

"Also,  _that's_  what you're focusing on, not the fact that there's like...five Battalion Chiefs and the Assistant Chief of Operations in there?" Maya asked.

"Yeah. This is big, right?" Travis added.

"Oh god, I haven't seen his testimony," Vic said out loud. "I don't know what I can say."

"So he explained everything?" Travis asked.

"Well, he gave me an overview," Vic replied. "We didn't have a lot of time and it's all complicated. There's a lot of politics he didn't go into."

"Do you know why there's so many of the brass here?" Maya pushed.

"They're working out a PR strategy," she replied. "They're trying to help him keep his job, I think." She hoped.

"So you're part of this PR strategy?" Vic could hear the disapproval in Travis' tone. "To protect  _him_?"

"We said no. Rip- Lucas is more vehement about it than I am. If he asked me to I would. But neither of us want our relationship to be ... well, when we discussed going public we meant going public in the sense of letting you guys know, and being able to like, properly go on dates without worrying about running into people. Not having the entire city discussing us," Vic sighed. "So no. We're hoping to just ride it out. He's going to issue a written statement and that's it."

"Good," Travis said in relief. "I just ... I don't want you getting hurt. Even if he's not directly hurting you."

"This isn't his fault," Vic said defensively.

"Travis wasn't saying it was," Maya said, pausing before adding, "you're going to have to get less defensive of him, you know that right? Travis wasn't even criticising him then. Some of the stuff people will say will be -"

"Don't patronise me," Vic snapped. "It's just - other people can say what they want. You guys and your opinion of us, of him, matters."

"I don't know that any of us really have an opinion on him, Vic," Travis said almost gingerly. "We don't know him at all. All my opinion of him comes from you, and how he treats you."

"It's gonna be like that," Maya added. "He's our ultimate boss; he can't really get chummy with us."

"He's barely going to see our shift," Vic pointed out. "He can't be rostered with me."

"Doesn't mean he wants to hang out with his subordinates," Travis pointed out gently.

Vic opened her mouth, but shut it, realising she couldn't really say anything to that.


	12. Strategy

"You don't want your girlfriend involved in this discussion?" Frankel asked him pointedly. Lucas glared at her.

"My girlfriend's on duty, and condition six really does still apply. Moreover, we've talked about it, and we agree on how  _we_ want to handle this," he said. He left unsaid the fact that he knew she felt intimidated and uncomfortable in a room full of the top brass.

"When I first found out about all this," Sullivan interjected. "I told him that I will protect Hughes -"

"Great, so we have two middle-aged men speaking for a young woman," Frankel said.

"Another way of looking at it is that the two people who know her best in this room are looking out for her interests," Sullivan said firmly.

"Fine," Diaz cut in. "Anyway, let's hear this joint statement -"

"No," Lucas cut off Mallory as she began to speak. "No joint statement." The room looked at him in surprise, and he could see Sullivan nod approvingly. "And certainly not a joint statement that neither of us were involved in authoring."

"Rip, it's not a big deal," Frankel said irritably. "She comes down to HQ after her shift tomorrow morning - and, look, she can read the fucking thing if that would assuage your guilt complex -"

Lucas took a deep breath. "Deb, this is the worst day of my life. Can you please just not be you right now?" he said tightly, closing his eyes and thinking of Vic.

Who loved him.

Okay, maybe it wasn't entirely the worst day ever.

"I'm trying to help you, you asshole," Frankel said quietly. "We all are."

"Maybe just be a little less antagonistic about it?" Green suggested. Frankel punched him in the shoulder. "Ow. Fuck you."

"Never in a million years."

"Luke's already said no," Sullivan interrupted firmly. "And the last thing Hughes should do after working a twenty-four hour shift is go down to HQ. I know it's been a while since some of you have worked one but -"

"All she'd have to do is sit there in support," Ramirez said, trying to sound reasonable. "That's not too much to ask."

"No," Lucas barked. "It  _is_ too much to ask. Vic and I have agreed that we don't want her involved."

"She's already involved," Reynolds pointed out.

"Not as a PR stunt," Lucas said stubbornly.

"It's hardly a PR stunt to deliver a joint statement," Diaz said reasonably. "Even if she doesn't come to the hearings - I agree after a twenty four hour shift that's the last thing anyone would want to do."

"Yes it is," Lucas argued. "She shouldn't have been brought up in those hearings; our relationship has  _nothing_ to do with the budget or 80 million dollars -"

"Hey, we're not the ones who raised it," Reynolds said defensively. "You're preaching to the choir."

"She wouldn't have to come down for the whole thing," Frankel said. "Just stay for the morning part of the hearing -"

"No," Lucas repeated. "She doesn't want to. I don't want her to. There's public and there's public - we don't want our relationship to be a political tool."

"It already is," Diaz said gently.

" _I'm_ not using it as a political tool," Lucas said sharply. 

"You can't just stick your head in the sand and hope this will blow away," Frankel said evenly. "A sex scandal sells magazines, particularly  _if_ you don't come out with your side of the story. Do you want to be painted as the manipulative boss? It's an easy way to force your resignation - or just fire you outright -"

"The HR department's conditions are pretty clear," Lucas said. "And actually probably protect me a little in this scenario because they probably can't terminate me outright because they've already approved our relationship."

"This timing worked out well," Green said. "With the HR investigation."

"I'm glad we came forward when we did," Lucas conceded with a sigh. "Also, in case anyone in this room was confused, I'll lose my job before I lose her."

There was a moment of silence. 

"Fucking hell, man," Ramirez swore. "None of us are talking about either thing."

"I am not asking her to be some dutiful nodding partner -"

"We're going in circles," Sullivan interrupted. "He's made it clear they don't want to do a joint statement, and she's not going to sit in on hearings."

"The SFD will need to issue a statement," Diaz said, sighing and shaking his head. "I just don't think it should be -"

"The SFD's statement should be the same statement we issued when Allen got caught with a mistress and it made the local paper for a week," Lucas said tiredly.

"You want the SFD to just trot out the usual line of respecting firefighter's personal lives?" Green asked skeptically.

"Yes," Lucas said. "The SFD shouldn't say anything more. I'm prepared to release a written statement, now that I've spoken to Vic, and that'll be it."

"Well, it's better than nothing," Frankel said with a sigh. "What do you want to say?" At his look, she rolled her eyes. "Please. Let the PR people go over it and make sure it actually works."

"Fine," Lucas said. "Let me type it up." Mallory handed him her tablet wordlessly, and Lucas began to type. It was harder than he had thought it would be to type this out.

_Over the last few months, my team and I have been working tirelessly to develop a budget for the Seattle Fire Department. Over the course of that time, I found multiple inconsistencies in billing and raised these concerns to the Chief Financial Officer of the Seattle Council as well as the police. I was asked to comment on the budget during a meeting today, and was instead interrogated on my personal life. I fell in love with another firefighter in the SFD some time ago, and we are in a relationship which we voluntarily disclosed to the Human Relations Department of Seattle City Council. My partner has been removed from my chain of command in order to allow this relationship to continue. My partner does not wish to be identified, and I ask that you respect her privacy. Our relationship has nothing to do with the real issue at hand; the possible embezzlement of millions of dollars from the City budget._

He handed the tablet back to Mallory who read it quickly and nodded.

"I think that's a good statement, sir," she said. "It's brief, to the point, and it makes it clear where the actual issue lies. It's good you refer to Miss Hughes as your partner, rather than just as your girlfriend. That will give your request for privacy more weight."

Lucas tried not to flinch at the dispassionate way the older woman was referring to the statement.

"The SFD definitely needs to issue a statement tonight," Joshua interjected, a little nervously. "All the local stations will cover it, they're wanting 6.30pm so it's ready for the news at 7."

"Diaz," Lucas said, pointing to the other man. "ACO. You're up."

Diaz looked less than thrilled. "I hate talking to the press," he grumbled.

"Well, it can't be the Chief," Green pointed out. "And as ACO you're best placed."

"I'm happy to tell them to fuc-"

"You are the _last_ person we want talking to the press," Green interrupted. "You get hostile."

"I get hostile when hostility is called for!" Frankel objected.

Lucas felt suddenly claustrophobic. "We done?" he asked abruptly. "We can release my statement after Diaz talks to the press."

"Sir?" Mallory asked nervously. Lucas tried to not glare at the woman, who was only doing her job. "We would also suggest that you contact any...anyone who the press might ask to comment on this. Try to get them not to."

Lucas frowned.

"Your ex-wives, Luke," Sullivan said sympathetically. The men in the room collectively winced.

"Oh great," Lucas groaned. As if his day hadn't been bad enough. "I have to talk to Eva and ask her to do something?"

"Fuck, that bitch," Frankel groaned. "Do you want to do that now, Rip?"

"Nothing would make this day worse," he said, but pulled his phone from his pocket. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

He stepped out of the office, noting unhappily that the conversation continued behind him. He stared at his phone, deciding to call Eva first. Get the hard one out of the way. Luckily she answered.

"Hi, it's Lucas," he said.

"I saw the news," she said, sounding unimpressed. "This has blown up in your face."

"Yeah it has," he admitted. "Look, the press will probably call you and ask for a comment -"

"You want me to say nothing," she said blandly.

"Yes," Lucas took a deep breath. "Please."

There was a long moment of silence. "You didn't tell me she was a firefighter," Eva said accusingly.

"Does that matter?" Lucas asked, confused.

"You don't see how I might find it relevant that you're risking your career for an affair with a firefighter?" Eva asked incredulously. "When that was why we got divorced?"

"I thought we got divorced because you were having an affair," Lucas snapped without thinking.

"I had the affair because my  _husband_ barely noticed I existed!" she snapped back, and Lucas forced himself to bite back the reply that she couldn't blame him for her guilt complex.

"Regardless," he said, determined to move on.

"No, you don't get to move this conversation on that quickly," she said. "What is it about her? What makes her worth your career rather than me or Laura?"

"I don't - what -?"

"Do you love her more than you loved me?"

"It's different - no, Eve, it is. I loved Laura differently to how I loved you and that's different again from Victoria. Part of it is that I'm not having to sit exams, I've reached the Chief's job and now I can put aside time that was spent getting there. Part of it is that she's a firefighter and she gets it anyway," he explained as gently as he could. It was true; he wasn't any more in love with Vic than he had been with Laura or Eva but the relationship he had with Vic was different. [Better].

"Whatever," she said. "I won't say anything to the press." She hung up before he could thank her. He sighed, and dialled his other ex-wife.

"Hey Laura," he said, turning to walk back in.

"Hey Luke," she answered. "God you're having a shit day. How's Vic?"

"A legend," he said, walking back through the entrance. "Hey listen, if the press call you -"

"Won't say a word," Laura said immediately. 

"You're my favourite ex-wife," Lucas said.

"I better be. You talk to that bitch yet?"

"Laura," he said disapprovingly. 

"You talk to her yet?" she changed her wording, but he could hear the eye roll.

"Yeah, she said she wouldn't say anything either. Listen, I'll talk to you later," Lucas stepped back into the room.

"Tell Vic I said hi, and to keep her chin up," Laura said. "See you later."

"Bye Lu." He hung up, looking at the expectant expressions. "Done. Anything else unpleasant I need to do?"

"I'd like to speak with Hughes directly about her options-"

"Frankel," Lucas growled.

"She's right," Diaz interrupted. "Did you even frame it to her as a way to control the narrative about her? This is her only way to tell her side of the story."

"Well, you, Green, Reynolds and Ramirez can head back to HQ then," Lucas said. "Get ready to talk to the press."

"We need you with us," Diaz said. "Frankel can talk to her, Sullivan will make sure it stays in hand -"

"I'm not going to be absent for this conversation," Lucas interrupted. "I'm not conducting this relationship by proxy."

Ramirez groaned. "You're being an -"

"Ramirez -" Lucas could feel his control fraying.

"Let's take a break," Sullivan interrupted. "There's coffee upstairs for those staying. If you want a coffee or something to eat before heading back to HQ, feel free. Luke, come with me."

Sullivan's hand landed heavily on his shoulder, and Lucas was practically pushed out of the office. 

"Herrera," Sullivan called her over. "As soon as Hughes gets back, send someone to get me and the Chief. We'll be in the gym."

Herrera nodded, and headed to the barn. Lucas let Sullivan push him to the gym, and then the other man wordlessly tossed him some boxing gloves. It was exactly what he needed, so Lucas shrugged out of his dress jacket and uniform shirt, tossing them over an exercise bike and pulled the gloves on. 

"Like old times, Luke," Sullivan said with a strained smile as he held up the mitts. Lucas punched him so hard that Sullivan actually stumbled a little. 

God this was exactly what he needed. Better than a stationary bag as well; Lucas knew he would've lost all semblance of technique. This forced him to focus, forced him to channel his frustration, embarrassment and anger into disciplined strikes.

Because, as Sullivan thumped the back of his head when he threw a punch wide of the mitt, his old boxing buddy wasn't gonna let him just flail around like an idiot.

"Sloppy," Sully said disapprovingly.

He'd worked up a nice sweat, and felt his muscles relax and lengthen by the time Warren came racing in. "They're nearly back," he said, raising an eyebrow at the scene in front of him.

"Good," Sullivan said, taking off his mitts. "Warren, tell Frankel and the PR guys to come back down to my office."

"Thanks, Sully," Lucas said, pulling off his gloves. He glanced at his uniform, but figured it would be better to put it back on once the sweat had dried a little, so he just slung the shirt and jacket over his arm.

"Any time," Sully replied. 

Vic was already in Sullivan's office when they arrived. "Frankel wants to talk to you specifically about press stuff," Lucas said without preamble. "I told her no, but she wants to hear it from you as well." Vic nodded. 

It wasn't just Frankel, but Diaz, Green, Reynolds, Ramirez, and the two press people who re-entered the office. 

"I thought you were leaving?" Sullivan asked sharply.

"We need the Chief," Diaz retorted. "No point on working on a statement that says don't talk about this if Hughes decides to go for a joint statement or something."

"The ideal thing, Hughes, would be a joint statement and an interview. Give your side of the story," Frankel said, clearly having thought about how she wanted to sell this idea. "Otherwise this entire thing will be painted like a sordid affair."

"So what, you want me to stand behind him and nod sweetly?" Vic asked sardonically. "Hard pass."

"You can read the fucking thing if it makes you feel better," Frankel said.

"I mean, how many times do we have to say no?" Vic asked, putting her hands on her hips. Lucas couldn't help but share a proud and smug look with Sullivan. "Doing that panders to this whole stupid process. I've spent  _hours_ justifying our relationship to HR and they at least have some vague claim to that. Nobody else does."

"You realise that he could lose his job-"

"Don't treat me like I'm stupid," Vic hissed, glaring daggers at Green. "You think during the HR investigation I didn't seriously think of what we would do if we both lost our jobs? I know he could lose his over this." She glanced at Lucas, who smiled and nodded at her reassuringly. "I think you're all blowing this out of proportion anyway. If we sit tight and let it blow over, it will eventually blow over. Interviews and stuff will just fuel this thing."

"I guess that's a no to coming to the hearings tomorrow in support?" Frankel sighed.

"Fuck no," Vic said vehemently. "I...can't watch him go through that."

"You know that they'll say you're either a gold-digging tramp or that he's a manipulative predator," Diaz's words were matter of fact, but they still hurt. Lucas stayed silent, and allowed Vic to respond.

"People will think what they want to think," she said coldly. "We know what's real. And for the record, my team found out today. Bishop learned from the TV, and I told the others and not a single person thought either of those things about me or about him - and they don't even know him properly but they know I wouldn't stand for that shit - so there. The important people know and don't care, and that's what matters."

Lucas had to restrain himself from grabbing her and kissing her. 

"Any questions?" Vic asked the stunned room.

"We said this to Chief Ripley as well," Mallory spoke up, clearly less intimidated than when she'd spoken earlier. "We advise that you speak to anyone who might get asked to comment on this story." 

Vic glanced at him in confusion.

"They mean exes," Lucas explained. Vic made a face.

"You're thinking of..." she trailed off. Lucas nodded. 

"Be better if he finds out from you directly, right?" he said. "But up to you. If it's any consolation, I had to speak to Eva," Lucas said with a sigh. Vic immediately screwed up her face. "Yeah. She agreed to not say anything. Laura said hi, and to keep your chin up."

"Did Laura say whether the Saturday or the Sunday worked better for her?" Vic asked. Lucas shrugged in confusion. "She's coming next month on the 14th to visit her mom. Wanted to know when we'd be free to catch up. I said that you were rostered on call the Saturday, so Sunday would probably be better and she was going to check with Jay."

"No she didn't say, and how do you know this?" Lucas asked, surprised. "I didn't know she was coming to town."

"I'll message her later," Vic shrugged. "We're Facebook friends."

Lucas looked at her in horror, and the tension in the room broke a little as everyone laughed. 

"If I needed any more proof that Facebook was evil," Lucas said, shaking his head.

"Oh please, don't be so melodramatic," Vic said dismissively. "It's Laura."

"Speaking of social media," Joshua spoke up. "We recommend you lock down your accounts."

"I use a different name and the account settings are as private as they can be," Vic said. "Laura found me through Jennifer. And there's nothing about us on any of them anyway." 

"Who's Jennifer?" asked Diaz tiredly, clearly bracing himself for more bad news.

"My sister." "His sister."

Joshua looked at Lucas expectantly. 

"I don't have any social media accounts apart from the official one that someone else administers," he said testily.

"Is that all? Good. Travis made quiche tonight and I'm hungry." She turned to Lucas. "What time do you finish tomorrow?"

"Hopefully not later than six," he said honestly. He was due in to the budget committee again tomorrow, and they couldn't keep him later than 1630, add an hour and a half to work out what happened from that...

"So, Miller told me about a good restaurant we should try," she said with a shy grin.

"Victoria Hughes, are you asking me out on a date?" he replied with a mock-scandalised tone, grinning broadly at her.

"Yes, Lucas Ripley," she rolled her eyes

"Pick you up at 6.30?" Lucas' heart was hammering, which was ridiculous, because he had been dating this woman for months now but this would be a proper, official, not-hiding date.

"Okie-dokie," she said, adorably, and made a face as she heard her own words.

"Smooth," he teased her.

"You're terrible," she said affectionately. "See you then." And with that she walked out, taking Lucas' heart with her. 

"You two are fucking adorable and I hate it," Frankel grumbled.

"Damn, she just told you off, Diaz, then turned around and organised a lunch date with the Chief's ex-wife, and _then_ propositioned the Chief right in front of us," Green shook his head.

"All right, _now_ can y'all get out of my station and let me team do their jobs?" Sullivan demanded.

Everyone started to file out, pausing when they realised Lucas wasn't following.

"I need a quick word with Sullivan," he said, waving them on. "I'll be with you in a minute." Frankel narrowed her eyes at him but closed the door.

The two men looked at each other for a moment. "Did 19 really take it that well?"

"Yes," Sully said proudly.

"Good," Lucas sighed, rubbing his beard. "Hey, thanks for helping."

"Like I said," Sully said. "We look out for our own. Don't worry about Hughes. Now, go enjoy your meetings."

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically, pausing at the door to look back at his old friend. "Sully, seriously, thanks." Sullivan nodded.

"Are you sure you won't do a televised statement, Chief?" Mallory asked as he left the room. "It has much more weight than a written..."

Lucas sighed. It was going to be a _long_ evening on top of a longer day.


	13. Pressed In

His uniform was his armour.

It always had been. From the basic firefighter's every day kit which meant it didn't matter if he got muddy, or bloody, or sooty to the SCBA gear and turnouts that protected him from flame to his dress uniform which didn't literally protect him from anything but metaphorically was a shield he could stand behind.

So, that morning, Lucas Ripley put on his uniform. He made sure his hair was neatly brushed back, his pins sitting perfectly straight, his tie evenly knotted. He'd spent twenty minutes making sure the creases in his dress pants were crisp and perfect.

He took a deep breath, and headed out to work. His written statement had gone out the night before, calling for privacy. Naturally that didn't stop any of the reporters crowded outside City Hall from screaming questions at him. He kept his face neutral as he walked past them, and into City Hall.

Jim and Alison were already there, so he grabbed a cup of instant coffee and joined them.

"Lucas," Alison greeted, sober brown eyes concerned. 

"Morning," Lucas said evenly.

"You should have told us about this girl," Jim sighed, shaking his head.

"She's nobody's business but mine," Lucas said sharply. "Besides, what would it have changed?"

"It wouldn't have changed anything," Alison admitted. She glanced at Jim. "But a few of us are concerned that this is going to bury the real issue. The spotlight needs to be on embezzlement not your affair."

"If you're asking me to resign just say it," Lucas said tiredly. 

"Well, are you going to?" she asked. "If so, do it early. The longer this drags on -"

"No, I'm not," Lucas replied. "I love my job, and I don't think that my relationship with Victoria means I should lose it."

Jim raised an eyebrow. "Look, man, we've been friends for a while. You're having an affair with a young rookie firefighter. Surely you can see the issues with that."

"You haven't met her," Lucas shrugged at the shorter man. "I know it looks bad from the outside, but she and I - we're good together. And I didn't put her through a HR inquiry to, a week later, hand in my resignation."

The two exchanged looks, but before the conversation could continue, Lucas heard his name being called. "Duty calls."

"Good luck," Jim said with a sigh.

Lucas walked over, entering the conference room and taking his seat in front of the budget committee. He poured himself a glass of water, folded his hands in front of him, and forced himself to wait patiently, neutral expression in place.

The waiting was the hardest. Once they got started with the questions, he knew he wouldn't really have time to think, but the waiting made him sweat. 

* * *

 Andy glanced over at the TV in her dad's new place again.

 _'_ _Embattled Fire Chief Ripley remained tight-lipped as he passed reporters on his way into a second day of questioning by the budgetary committee after the explosive revelations yesterday that he is involved in an ongoing affair with a young female subordinate. He issued a personal statement last night asking for privacy shortly after the SFD released an official statement asking for the private lives of its personnel to be respected.'_

Her dad followed her gaze, and snorted disapprovingly. "I always thought he was better than that," he said, disappointed. "He always seemed like a respectful young man; not the sort to use his position to -"

"It's not like that," Andy said, taking another sip of her coffee. 

"Andrea," her dad's tone was sharp. "It's not you -"

"No, no, no," Andy said quickly. "Definitely not."

Pruitt frowned. "I didn't think Bishop was exactly the commitment type," he said. 

Andy laughed bitterly. "It's not Maya. It's Vic," she said.

"Vic who?" Pruitt said, eyebrows furrowing. "Wait,  _our_ Vic? Hughes?"

"Weird, right?" Andy agreed. "She told us yesterday when Ripley was testifying. She didn't know this was going to happen. Oh my god, Dad, yesterday was insane. Right after the hearing, Frankel came by -" her dad made a face. "Yeah, with two PR people and they were talking to Vic when Ripley arrived - then she pulled him aside to talk and then Diaz and a couple of other battalion chiefs I don't know arrived too and they had this super long meeting in Sullivan's office. Vic said later that there was some political thing happening and they were trying to discredit Ripley because he found evidence of embezzlement. So they're using their relationship to cover it up."

"He's far too old for her," Pruitt said protectively. 

Andy snorted. "Someone - I think Dean - made that point yesterday and she just went, 'he's not that old'," she hesitated. "I think Vic actually does love him. HR is aware and there's like a whole bunch of conditions for them to keep dating that she's memorised."

"Hmph," her dad snorted. "Hughes is very young and impulsive. This is the sort of thing that destroys careers."

" _Seattle Sunrise has also reached out to Chief Ripley's two ex-wives, both of whom did not not want to comment on the story."_

"He's divorced twice?" Andy said in surprise.

"Ripley was always a ladies' man. Kept it away from SFD until now, as far as I know," her father's expression darkened further. "You can't trust charming people, Andrea, they're always hiding something. I wouldn't have thought he'd do something like this." Spotting his daughter's expression, Pruitt added firmly, "it doesn't matter if she likes him. He is in a position of power and he should not have touched her."

* * *

 "Did the HR investigation into your relationship with a junior subordinate investigate the use of whether SFD finances had been misused during that relationship?" asked Mr Burns.

"Yes," Lucas replied, tiredly. They'd been going around in circles for hours now, and he felt exhausted from the incessant questioning and from the strain of trying to keep his temper in check. "And as I said earlier, they found that there was no misuse of public funds."

"Can we cut through this and table the HR report?" asked Ms Tompkins, interrupting Mr Burns. "Satisfy ourselves that your conduct, while unprofessional with regards to this relationship, was not predatory, and then we can move onto discussing the concerns you have raised, Chief Ripley, about budgetary inconsistencies."

"No, ma'am, I will not table the HR report," Lucas said through a dry mouth. "Tabled reports in this committee, as you know, are a matter of public record. This report naturally identifies my partner, and she does not want that. Redacting any identifying information would essentially render the report unreadable. I agree that this relationship is not what the budgetary committee is designed for, and I would like nothing more than to move off the topic of my personal life - which has nothing to do with budgetary inconsistencies or finances - but that is up to the members of this committee and what questions they ask me."

"I think it does happen to be relevant, Chief Ripley, that the Fire Chief of Seattle is busy hiding a questionable sexual relationship with a subordinate. What did this girl ask you -" Burns began.

"I fell in love with her, okay, and yes that was stupid and reckless and any other pejorative adjective you want to slap on it. But, right from the start of this relationship it was mutual, and consensual, and our jobs have _nothing_ to do with it. You can't help who you fall in love with and in the early stages of this relationship we thought it best to keep quiet. We both then agreed that we wanted to continue the relationship and so disclosed it to HR who found there was no case for sexual harassment, no case for misuse of my position or funds, and have put in place specific conditions that allow us to continue our relationship. That's all  _anyone_ else needs to know. Everything else is between me and my partner. And I'd really like to move on from this topic and talk about the embezzlement of over eighty million dollars which is what this committee is _supposed_ to be doing rather than engaging in sordid speculation about my private life."

He realised that he was shouting and his hands were shaking as he reached the end of his sentence, and he swore internally, forcing himself to take a breath.

The committee looked a little stunned, but Ms Tompkins recovered first. "Right, well, I'm satisfied with that," she said, shooting a glare at Burns. "Let's move on to the budget. You mentioned that the budgeting for aid car maintenance was overvalued?"

* * *

Vic glanced at the clock. It was 6.35pm, and she told herself to take another breath. Lucas had given her an estimate of when he'd be around, but he could be running late for any number of reasons. It wasn't his fault she'd been ready half an hour early, and she cursed herself for being so excited over a date. [But this was an Official Date. With _Lucas Ripley_ ].

There was a knock on the door, and she sprung up from the couch, switching the TV that she wasn't watching off, and opened it.

He was so  _handsome_ , his hair combed carefully to one side, his sober dark blue sweater over the top of a collared light blue shirt had the effect of just making his eyes even more beautiful. Lucas was carrying a huge bouquet, and Vic  _melted_. Nobody had ever bought her flowers before.

"Hi," she said, voice embarrassingly high.

"Wow," he breathed, shaking his head, eyes soft as they met hers. "You look, just...wow." He thrust the bouquet towards her somewhat awkwardly. "These are for you. Sorry they're not much."

"They're gorgeous," she took them, and smiled shyly. "Come in while I put them away." She didn't own a vase, so she took a tall glass, filled it with water, and placed the flowers in it, carefully adjusting them so they sat as nicely as they could; there were too many flowers for the glass, but she didn't want to split it up. 

"You know I'm not a heart and rainbows kind of girl," she said gently. "I don't need this."

"Do you like the flowers?" he asked earnestly.

"Well, yes, but -"

"Then it's not a matter of what you need," Lucas replied. "I want to give you pretty things because you're pretty, and smart, and funny, and awesome, and you make me happy."

For a moment Vic seriously considered not bothering going out to dinner and just keeping him home. He looked her up and down again, and shook his head.

"I should also say; I  _very_ much want to go out to dinner but there's a chance we could be recognised -"

"I know," Vic said evenly. "I refuse to let what we want to do be dictated by someone's political agenda. I want to go on a date with you, in public, tonight. I don't care what's happening at work." She paused before adding, "anyway, what better PR strategy to use than the one that's real? You and me, going on our first official public date tonight because we want to, and we don't care what anyone else thinks."

Lucas gazed at her in that way of his that always made her feel warm and tingly and special. "You're so plucky," he sighed, reaching out to touch her cheek briefly.

"Plucky?" Vic teased, the compliment warming her.

"Spunky," he stepped closer with a grin. "Brave. Courageous. Clever." With each word he stepped closer, and then he briefly kissed her. "I'm so proud of you. I was so proud of you yesterday telling them where they could get off. I love you."

"I love you," she said simply, smiling back at him before taking his hand. "Let's go to dinner."

* * *

It was a nice but not terribly fancy restaurant, which suited Lucas just fine. Fancy restaurants made him think of work and pretty but not particularly appetising food. They ordered wine, and their meals, and it felt all terribly proper.

"How bad was your day?" Vic asked softly.

"I may have lost my temper during the hearings," he admitted. "They just kept on going on and on and I got tired of it."

Vic grinned. "Did you put them in their place?"

"I yelled," he shrugged. "But at least they stopped asking me about you, and stopped asking for the HR report to be tabled."

Vic frowned. "Why not -"

"It becomes a matter of public record," Lucas grimaced. 

"Oh, no," Vic said immediately. 

"But that's it," Lucas said softly. "They're done with me, Jim got questioned this afternoon and probably tomorrow."

She grinned, taking his breath away. Vic looked so beautiful tonight with her hair in loose curls, knee high boots, a pretty purple dress and, not for the first time, he couldn't believe his luck.

"What did you do today?" he asked, shyly reaching for her hand across the table. They hadn't really been able to date before, and he wasn't used to touching her in public and wasn't sure how sappy she'd let him be. 

Vic beamed at him, lacing their fingers together. "Travis and I went cycling," she replied. "My legs are burning. Why, after a twenty-four hour shift I let him talk me into that I have no idea. Then I slept most of this afternoon."

Lucas chuckled. "I admire you doing anything after a twenty-four hour shift. I used to just get home and lie in the yard if it wasn't raining."

"It's called sunburn, Lucas Ripley."

"It's called sunscreen, Victoria Hughes."

They grinned at each other for a long moment; her thumb tracing over his.

"I was wondering," she started nervously, squeezing his hand. "Travis and I talked...how would you feel about him coming over for dinner tomorrow?"

He instinctively hated the idea, and she must have seen that in his eyes because her gaze dropped to the table.

Lucas took a deep breath. "Okay," he said. She looked up in surprise. "Honestly? I'm not sure how to navigate this. I know that your team mean a lot to you, and I respect that. It's just," he shrugged. "They  _are_ my subordinates too. At the end of the day, we could go from having dinner at yours with Montgomery to me ordering him to do something the next day and  _he has to_. You're different. For one, you never listened to me anyway, and for another, I trust you to do what needs to be done at work."

Vic nodded thoughtfully. "You're pretty isolated, aren't you?" she said. "I never really thought about it, but those people at work yesterday - they're not really your friends are they? They're supporters."

Lucas nodded. "I mean, I've gone out for drinks with them. I've never had them to my house."

"The other thing to consider, I guess," Vic said. "Is that you're not on call for my shift. If you're not to be on the same scenes as me, that goes for my shift. So yes, they're your subordinates, and I guess that dynamic will have to change if someone moves, but until then, you're not exactly quite both my boyfriend and the Chief, you're mostly my boyfriend. Except with Sullivan, I guess."

"And Sully's a separate thing," Lucas hummed. "That's a really good point."

"So yes to dinner with Travis?"

"Yes to dinner with Travis."

"Thank you," her eyes dropped to his lips. She hesitated, but leaned forward over the table and pecked him lightly. "I love you."

He blushed, and knew he was beaming stupidly at her.

* * *

_Penny H (@pixilot54)_   omg so im pretty sure im sitting next to FIRE CHIEF RIPLEY and his GF out at dinner (icymi he's the guy making budget hearings hawt!)

 _Lucy Rollins (@lucyr283)_ @pixilot54 no way! did you see how angry he got today? it was kinda cute

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ @lucyr283 like, it's definitely him. They were just talking about the hearings. And theyre more than kinda cute. theyr holding hands and he hasn't taken his eyes off her all night. It's literal heart eyes you guys

 _Em-is-a-ninja (@emninja2)_ @pixilot54 @lucyr283 awwww. Is she pretty? Cos he's like, a solid 8/10

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ @lucyr283 @emninja2 no ladies, he's a 10/10 tonight. like he's the one guy hotter out of uniform than in it. She's super hot 11/10 would bang

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ so now they're talking about having dinner with one of her coworkers? he's obviously not sure, but the way theyre talking about it is #goals #stillholdinghands

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ @lucyr283 @emninja2 omg she just said "i love you" and kissed him and now he looks like he's been hit over the head with a baseball bat. like the heart eyes are unreal over here

 _Lucy Rollins (@lucyr283)_ @pixilot54 AWWW so cute.

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ so their dinner has arrived and theyre eating WHILE HOLDING HANDS. she's a lefty so it works

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_  he finally let go of her hand to pour them more wine #alwaysagoodcall and then theyve swapped the hands theyre holding - both ambidextrus? also they're eating super slowly cos they keep looking up at each other and smiling

 _Em-is-a-ninja (@emninja2)_ @pixilot54 @lucyr283 so I just went and watched the clip of him yelling in budget today omg he's so upset there about the way their asking about her it's super cute

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ @lucyr283 @emninja2 sorry the pic is blurry. you cant see but she's got these awesome knee high boots on - her dress is super swishy too

 _Em-is-a-ninja (@emininja2)_ @pixilot54 @lucyr283 ... he is such a daddy! like *fans self* and she is just so hot. 

 _Lucy Rollins (@lucyr283)_ @pixilot54 @lucyr283 !!! but seriously, the way theyre looking at each other is #goals. damn theyll make pretty babies

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ so they've asked for the check and he's gone to pay and she just said 'Lucas I asked YOU out. so I'll pay.' you go girl

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ he's asking about the chances of a second date!!! she's smiling and saying that depends on what he gets her for dessert

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ and theyre leaving and his hands on the small of her back which i think is the cutest!

 _Penny H (@pixilot54)_ thanks for playing along with super hot fire chief and his super cute date #relationshipgoals

* * *

 "Dean!" his sister yelled.

"I'm right here, Yemi," Dean groaned from the kitchen, looking over to where she was sitting in the lounge.

"Isn't that someone from your station?" she ignored him, pointing at the TV. Dean followed her gaze.

" _Twitter user Penny H, an economics student at the University of Washington, has snapped this photo of Fire Chief Ripley on a date last night with his as-yet-unnamed-partner. This thread, and a clip of Chief Ripley's outburst in the budget committee today, is going viral as users flock to add their thoughts on the matter. Most are sympathetic, agreeing with Chief Ripley that you can't help who you fall for. However some maintain that given his position as her manager, that this should never have happened. With us are a panel of workplace relations experts,_ " said the breakfast TV host. " _Mary Marshall, you are a workplace relations lawyer with ten years of experience in the field. What are your thoughts?_ "

"Dean?"

"Yeah, that's Vic," he replied. "She told us the other day."

"Wow, go Vic," Yemi said. "He's super hot."

"Yemi! He's our boss!"

His sister shrugged. "Their date sounds really cute," she said, holding up her phone towards him.

Jack wandered into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He frowned as he looked at the TV.

" _Consensual or not, he outranks her by a considerable margin. Sources say she's a rookie firefighter. There's a significant amount of pressure implicit in that if he approaches her -"_

_"Look at the photo, it's pretty clear she's not objecting -"_

_"When I see that photo I see a very young woman on a date with a much older man who has the ability to end her career with a click of his fingers. It's not right to say that she could have just said no; he's not just a powerful man, but obviously he's a very handsome one, and some young women get swept up by that."_

"Why are you watching this crap?" he snapped at Dean.

"I'm not, Yemi is," Dean said, holding his hands up defensively. Jack glared at her.

"Don't," he said. "That's our friend. This is just gossip about her."

"Hey, watch your tone," Dean objected sharply as Yemi flinched. She turned off the TV.

"Sorry," she said, a little defensively. "I didn't mean -"

"It's okay," Jack sighed heavily. "It's just ... people will watch this shit and talk about her without knowing the situation."

Dean felt a little guilty, but Yemi fixed his friend with a sharp look.

"Well, what is the situation then?" she asked, matter-of-factly.

"That's still gossiping," Jack objected.

"Hey man, you've known since the start," Dean argued. "I found out two days ago, and all Vic basically said was that they happened."

Jack shrugged. "I don't know much more than you. I know they slept together as a bit of a spur of the moment thing," he made a face. "She denied liking him but with the tone of voice that says she did like him, and then he called her. I was pretty surprised to find out when I got back that things had progressed - I thought they'd have self-destructed ages ago."

"Do you think she got swept up by the -" Yemi began.

"That's not Vic," Jack replied firmly. 

"Not at all Vic," Dean agreed. "She yelled at him twice."

Jack looked confused. "The peer review thing?"

"And then for leaving you in the skyscraper," Dean added. "He threatened to fire her then."

"Well, that automatically makes him less of an asshole," Yemi said brightly.

"How do you figure?" Dean asked.

"He obviously likes women who speak their mind," she shrugged. 

Jack sighed. "He seems okay. Vic's into him, and that's the important bit. But I think things are hard enough for her without her friends gossiping about her and whether or not she's been swept up or whatever the hell they were saying. We need to respect her privacy; under normal circumstances -"

"Under normal circumstances she'd've swaggered into work bragging," Dean interrupted. "That's Vic. It's just because it's him that she hasn't told us."

"Maybe partly, but also, look at the way she looks at him," Yemi pointed it, showing them the photo on her phone. "Maybe Vic finds it hard to talk about important stuff. He's obviously important to her.'

"Insightful," Jack pointed at Yemi, and she beamed. "Your kid sister's insightful."


	14. Bubble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After today, I thought we needed a not-fluffy but not-angsty story so I'm posting this a little early. There be spoilers in the end chapter notes, so skip them if you're not up to date.

_After their date the night before..._

As soon as her apartment door shut, she was on him, pulling his head to hers in a knee-weakening, breath-taking kiss. Her hands were everywhere, and before Lucas had processed any of it, his sweater was somewhere on the floor, his belt was unbuckled and trousers undone, and she was working on his shirt.

He had only been able to push her coat off, unwilling to damage the beautiful dress she had on and being unsure in his very aroused state exactly how to take it off. They reached her bedroom and she pushed him down on his back onto the bed.

"Pants off," she ordered breathlessly. He scrambled to obey as she undid the zipper and slid the dress off before climbing over him on the bed, and immediately kissing him hungrily. It was all a bit too much. She'd spent the entire drive home with her hand maddeningly high on his thigh, tracing circles. They'd taken the elevator up with a couple of other people, and she'd used that as an excuse to press herself back into him.

So by the time they'd actually reached her apartment he had been desperately trying to hide how hard he was, hoping none of her neighbours opened their door.

"Vic, slow down," he pleaded as she wrapped her hand around him. She ignored him, pushing him back onto his back with her unoccupied hand and kissing him again. He reached down to try to move her hand off him, but she was too quick, lining him up at her entrance and impaling herself with a cry on him.

"Oh god, Vic, slow down, please," he begged, hands grasping desperately at the sheets as she started to ride him, looking like a goddess with her hair in those curls and her ridiculously skimpy bra and god she was still wearing the boots. He realised belatedly that he was thrusting wildly and he knew he was close. "Vic I'm going to -"

It was too late, and he came with a groan, hips stuttering. When he was able to speak he opened his eyes, looking up at her, "fuck. Sorry."

"You did try to say," Vic panted with a wry shrug, looking frustrated. 

"Sorry," he said breathlessly, letting himself slip out of her. "I'll make it up to you." He rolled them over, pressing kisses along her neck and down her chest.

"I know you will, baby," Vic groaned, running her fingers through his hair. He worked his way quickly down her body, kissing and nipping and sucking as he went, before finally closing his lips over her. It was clear she wanted to come fast, so he flicked his tongue quickly over her clit, sliding his fingers in and curling them just the way she liked. It didn't take long before she was writhing and chanting his name and pulling his hair roughly, coming around his fingers.

She tugged at his hair and he followed her lead, willingly crawling back up to settle over her, bracing most of his weight through his forearms on either side of her face.

"My girl," he said affectionately. 

"Hi baby," she said, smiling contentedly up at him, before pulling him down into a slow, lazy kiss, heedless of the fact that his face was sticky with her. He'd been so busy over the last few weeks that he couldn't remember the last time they'd had the time to just make out like this, and Lucas grinned into her mouth. He relished the soft moans she issued and the feel of her nipples rubbing against his chest, poking through the lacy fabric of the bra he hadn't bothered to remove earlier.

As her kisses grew more demanding he pulled away from her mouth with a liquid pop, pressing kisses along her jaw to the side of her neck. Lucas spent a bit of time nibbling at her earlobe, because he knew Vic loved it when he did that, before working his way down her neck again, more slowly. He'd only pressed a couple of quick kisses to each breast on his way down before, so now he slowly kissed around the fabric of her bra, his hands sliding down under her back to release the catches. Vic pushed him away, impatiently half-sitting up to remove her bra quickly and throw it away.

"As you were," she said with an impish grin, settling back onto the bed.

"Your wish is my command," he grinned back, maintaining eye contact as he drew a dark nipple into his mouth and sucked slowly. He teased the other breast with his hand until Vic tugged his head over, indicating he should swap. He did so, lavishing attention on her left breast for a few long minutes before moving back to her sternum and licking down her stomach. He pressed a quick kiss to her belly button, and by that point, Vic was done being patient, and pushed his head further down. He grinned as he kissed her clitoris, and just as she sighed, turned his neck to kiss down her right thigh.

"Lucas!" she whined.

"These boots need to come off, baby," he said against her skin, working his way down to her knee and slowly unzipping the right boot. He peeled it off, and worked his way back up to the apex of her thighs. He repeated the process for the left boot, and then happily settled himself back into his favourite place in the world; between her thighs. His world narrowed to her clit, and he took his time to bring her off a second time. 

Lucas kneeled over her to watch her face relax in ecstasy. He waited as patiently as he could, unable to keep from lazily stroking his cock. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave him a saucy grin as she spotted his hand working his own dick. "I can think of something better than your hand," she said with a little waggle of her eyebrows.

"Oh yeah?" he grinned back stupidly.

"On your back," she ordered, and they quickly swapped places, Lucas settling onto his back and watching in satisfaction as she hovered over him.

She eyed his straining cock. "I just really want you inside me, but would you prefer head given you've just given me probably the best blow job I've ever had?"

"You know I'd rather have you ride me than blow me," Lucas replied honestly. 

"Good boy," Vic said, pleased. She reached for his dick and spread his precum down and along the shaft, pumping him a few times, before lining him up again against her entrance. This time she slid down slowly, and paused with him fully seated inside her. Lucas sat up, resting his hands on her waist as she wrapped her arms around his neck. 

"I love you, Victoria," he murmured against her lips, looking her directly in the eyes.

"I love you back, Lucas," she replied with a soft smile, parting her lips and gently pressing them against his. He groaned into her mouth as she rocked gently in his lap gently while they made out. Eventually, she pulled back a little, peering through her long lashes at him. "I love everything about you."

"I'll do anything for you," he promised. "Anything. I just want you to be happy." She paused in her movements, bringing a hand around to caress his cheek.

"You make me happy," she said, kissing him again, and Lucas melted. As she started to ride him harder, he slipped one hand to her ass, caressing and squeezing while moving the other hand to thumb her clit. Lucas rocked his hips up as she slid back down, angling to hit just the right spot inside her.

"Oh god, Luke," she hissed, eyes rolling back. She pulled his head back up to her face, kissing him sloppily and desperately. "Right there, yes, Lucas," Vic cried as he pressed his thumb down more firmly on her clit, slumping against him as she came. 

Lucas moved his hands back to her hips, pressing her hips down onto him and thrusting up into her. "Lucas," she breathed into his ear before nibbling on his earlobe, and he rocked up faster and faster until he came with a shout that he muffled into her shoulder, falling back with her on top of him onto the bed.

"I guess I'll go on a second date with you," she said teasingly into his chest a little later. 

Lucas laughed. "I love you," he said, patting her butt. "Now get up. We should shower."

She groaned, but rolled off him, extending a hand to him. "We might as well save on hot water."

[They didn't save on hot water]. 

* * *

Their coffee was brewing, and as she heard the shower turn off, Vic put a couple of pieces of bread in the toaster for him. She eyed the TV with trepidation, but she figured a quick check to make sure nothing had changed in terms of the coverage was a good idea. Lucas needed to know what he was walking into.  So Vic took a deep breath and turned on the TV.

When Lucas walked out of her room, tucking his shirt in at the back, he found her rolling around on the couch in peals of laughter.

"Vic?" he asked, concerned and confused.

She simply pointed at the screen in response. Lucas glanced at it, saw that it was about them, and groaned.

"I need coffee." He grabbed his coffee and toast from the kitchen, and sat down next to her.

 _"You can't stand in the way of true love, man,_ " opined a guy on the street.

 _"I mean, he was very moving in the testimony yesterday_ ," said another woman.

 _"They're super hot,_ " gushed some teenage girl.

"What the hell?" he stared at Vic who was still rolling around in laughter.

"We've just gone from, like, you being some evil manager to you being Romeo and me being Juliet," she half-sobbed. 

Lucas glanced back at the TV, opened his mouth then closed it again. 

"What does it say," he asked, after a moment of thought. "What does it say about our society that I genuinely just thought, well, there's my dignity down the drain and yet I didn't think that when I was being talked about as the predatory manager?"

"It says something profound about the toxic masculinity in our society that it's better to be a womaniser than a romantic," Vic said, wiping away her tears. "Well,  _I_ for one prefer this. I don't like it when people say horrible things about you without knowing you."

"It's nicer that they're being nice about us," Lucas agreed. He stared at the TV a moment longer, then barked out a laugh. "This is absurd."

"Especially as, really, I think  _you're_ Juliet and  _I'm_ Romeo," Vic teased.

"Just because you made the first move doesn't mean you're not Juliet," Lucas objected. "You think I wouldn't check you had a pulse  _before_ killing myself?"

"Lucas Ripley are you implying I'm too dumb to check for a pulse before taking drastic action!" Vic gasped in mock-offence, grabbing a throw pillow and threatening him with it.

"You're more impulsive than I am," he teased. Vic's eyes narrowed, and he barely put down his coffee before he was assaulted with the cushion. She got in a few good hits before he grabbed it, leaning over her and kissing her briefly. "See, point proved." 

"Regardless," her expression sobered. "What do you -" she sighed, frustrated that she couldn't articulate her question.

He shrugged. "The whole point of going to HR was to allow ourselves out of our bubble," he said quietly. 

"I miss our bubble a bit right now," Vic sighed. "But I mean, we can't just live our lives scared of what other people will say."

"Even if every college kid with a smart phone is now a member of the paparazzi," Lucas agreed. He checked his watch with a sigh. "I'd better go to work."

"You still okay with Travis coming for dinner?" Vic asked.

"Yeah," Lucas didn't sound exactly thrilled, but he wasn't ungracious either, Vic mused. "See you tonight. Love you."

"Love you too," she leaned up for a quick kiss, and then he was gone.

* * *

Travis hadn't quite expected the reaction Vic gave him when she opened her apartment door to him.

"What...what are you doing?" she asked, gaze travelling over him incredulously.

He felt suddenly foolish in his good jeans and nice collared shirt as he saw she was just wearing an oversized hoodie and trackpants. "Um. Well. It's dinner."

"But -" she sighed, opening the door wider. "I was going to say it's just me and Lucas. But yeah. Okay. You don't need to make a good impression."

Travis winced, stepping inside and toeing off his shoes. "I can't quite think like that. Didn't it take you time to adjust?"

"To not seeing him as the Chief?" Vic asked. "Honestly, no. Maybe because I haven't known him as the Chief for as long as you?"

Travis made a non-committal sound, following her to her kitchen and putting down the bottle of wine he'd brought. "Do you need a hand?" 

"Yeah, can you do the salad please? Yours are always good. I'm going to get changed into something nicer so it's not as weird," she said, shooting him a dirty look.

"Sorry," he called after her, sighing as he looked down at the assortment of vegetables on the counter. He was grateful when Vic re-emerged from her room wearing jeans and a nice if not particularly dressy top. "Thanks, Vic, I just -"

"I didn't think about it that way," she said, leaning against the counter as he assembled the salad. "Sorry. Wine?"

"Should we wait -?"

"No, it'll help loosen you up. Lucas won't drink anyway; he's on call tonight," Vic said, squinting at the fridge. Travis followed her gaze to see a printed copy of the on-call roster with her shifts marked in sharpie.

He grinned at her, lifting an eyebrow. "Got a calendar, hey?" he teased.

"Shut up," she said, flushing slightly. "Now that the entire world knows about us, I figure we might as well be organised. I kept losing track of when he was on call."

"Does he get called often when he's on call?" Travis asked with genuine curiosity.

"It really varies. He can go for weeks without getting called, and then, like the other week, be called three times in the space of a week," Vic shrugged. "He's like, always second on call anyway. They don't have a formal second on roster, and because he's the Chief, he just gets called."

"That must be frustrating," Travis said. 

"It really is," Vic sighed, taking a sip of her wine. "Mm, this is good wine."

Travis reached for his glass, grinning over it at her. "I know right? By the way, those are beautiful," he pointed to the glass full of obviously fresh and beautiful flowers.

"They are," Vic blushed, a bright smile spreading across her face as she looked at them.

"And here I thought you weren't a romantic," he teased.

"I'm not," Vic shrugged, clearly defensive. "But...well, they are beautiful. It's the first time anyone's bought me flowers and they're pretty."

Travis narrowed his eyes at her. "You're not a romantic, but  _he_ is? It's okay to like that."

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, and Travis couldn't help but notice how Vic's gaze immediately shifted expectantly to the kitchen entranceway. Moments later, a tired looking Ripley walked into the kitchen, gaze sliding past Travis as if he wasn't there, and it looked like some of the weight came off his shoulders as he returned Vic's smile.

"Evening," he said, nodding awkwardly at Travis.

"Chief," Travis replied automatically.

"Hey," Vic said, sounding a little awkward herself. "You have time to shower, if you want, dinner will be about ten minutes?"

"Okay," Ripley hesitated, but leaned down and quickly pecked Vic on the lips. "Um. Here." He handed her a cylindrical object wrapped in newspaper before practically racing out of the kitchen.

Travis smirked at his friend. "Bet I know what that is."

"Oh shut up," she said, flicking him with a kitchen towel, unwrapping the newspaper. 

"Knew it," Travis crowed. It was a vase. It was plain and didn't fit with Vic's apartment style - okay, it was kind of ugly - but it was close to the same shade of green that Vic had throughout her kitchen. He bit back the comment about it being ugly as Vic, looking at it like it was made of gold, moved the flowers out of the glass into the new vase.

By the time Ripley emerged from her bedroom, they'd just about finished setting the table, and Vic was lifting the lasagne out of the oven. Travis noticed that Ripley had obviously followed Vic's lead, wearing a good shirt and sweater with comfortable looking jeans.

Travis busied himself fussing around with the cutlery, pretending not to watch as Vic carefully put the lasagne on top of the stove before turning and throwing her arms around his neck.

"Thanks for the vase," she said in a low voice.

"I wasn't sure which one you would like but you seem to like green?" he said, equally quietly.

"It's perfect, I love it," she said sincerely before kissing him. Ripley picked up the lasagne and brought it to the table. It was a bit weirdly formal, as they settled down at Vic's small dining table in silence. 

"This looks great, thanks," Ripley sounded a little stilted, and Vic winced a little.

"Travis made the salad," she said a little too brightly, before adding impishly, "Lucas loves salad."

Ripley shot her a wry look. "Vic's on this health kick at the moment. I've never eaten more salad in my life."

"Health kick?" Travis shot a questioning glance at Vic. "It's not like either of you need it, Chief."

"Lucas," the word practically fell from Ripley's mouth awkwardly. Travis looked at him in surprise, and the older man shrugged one shoulder, staring at his plate. "I mean, given the circumstances, Montgomery."

"Only if you call me Travis, Lucas," Travis replied, before making a face. "Nope, it's too weird."

Ripley let out a chuckle. "Rip or Ripley also works," he offered. "I think Sully coined Rip in the Academy, actually."

A few things clicked into place, and Travis narrowed his eyes. "You were at the Academy together?" he checked.

"We were best friends," Ripley nodded.

"Were?" Travis asked, spearing a piece of tomato with his fork, glancing up to see Ripley's expression close back over. "Sorry, none of my business."

"No, it's, uh," he shrugged. "We argued about something, years ago, and we're only just...well, only just working it out now."

He was clearly reluctant to go into detail, so Travis left it.

"I put in my passport application today," Vic broke the silence by saying. "Apparently I should get it in three weeks, so if you want to book some time off..."

Ripley's face lit up and he smiled broadly and unreservedly at her. "I have literally months up my sleeve. How much time can you take?"

Vic laughed. "I don't have months, but how about two weeks?"

"Vacation?" Travis asked, feeling he was  _definitely_ the third wheel.

"We need it after all this rubbish," Ripley snorted.

"We've been planning it for ages," Vic added. "Since Captain Herrera came back from Hawaii. That's what kind of started this whole thing."

"What, you two?" Travis frowned in confusion. "I thought -"

"No the HR stuff," Ripley clarified.

"Bit hard to go on a vacation without saying who I'm with or where I was going or what I was doing," Vic remarked. "But I think we were getting there anyway."

"Definitely," Ripley's gaze was soft, and Travis felt a little bubble of happiness for his friend rise within him. Travis had spent the last couple of weeks trying to reassure her that the Chief loved her while hoping that he was right. Looking at the other man now, though, with how sweet he was with her; well, it was a vindication of what Travis had been telling her.

"Where are you going?"

They glanced at each other and laughed. "Lucas wanted to go skiing," Vic said, shooting him a mock glare. "I reminded him that beaches and swimwear were a thing -"

"Yeah, yeah," he rolled his eyes back at her. "When we book the dates we can decide where we go. You ever been overseas, Travis?"

"I've been to Mexico," Travis replied. "But not anywhere else. Have you been overseas before?"

"Born in Melbourne," the older man replied. "Mum's family all live in Australia still, so we go out and visit every few years."

"We could go to Australia," Vic suggested.

"We're due to go there next year for family Christmas," Ripley vetoed immediately. "You'll see it then. I'd rather go somewhere we haven't been."

She tilted her head at him. "If you want us to go, that is," he added hurriedly. "If you'd rather stay here for Christmas next year we can -"

"No, a summer Christmas sounds good," Vic said, almost shyly, blushing a bit. As Travis watched them, he found himself surprised at how  _un_ surprised he was that Vic - his commitment-phobic best friend - wasn't at all bothered by the assumption that she and Ripley would be spending next Christmas together. Because, sitting here, watching them, it seemed the most obvious thing in the world.

"Anyway. What did you two do with your day off?" Ripley asked, tearing his gaze from Vic.

"I did admin," she replied. "Passport application, went through all my bills and filed them, visited the accountant..."

"You were productive," Travis remarked. "I went on a cycle around the lake -"

"Again?" Vic groaned. He ignored her.

"It was a great day for cycling," he said, before glancing a little nervous at Ripley. "Uh, I meant it, Rip. You'd be welcome any time."

"Careful, Travis, you might find yourself on the morning news as my secret lover. Or Lucas' secret lover. Or hell, at this point, our secret lover," Vic muttered darkly. Ripley laughed.

Travis chuckled, looking nervously between them. "I guess you saw the news then?"

"Just this morning, figured he needed to see it before he went to work," Vic said. "Didn't watch it today."

"It's more of the same," Ripley informed her. "About half the world thinks we're cute and the other half want me castrated."

"I think it's probably closer to 70:30," Travis corrected. He hesitated, before adding, "and they've got your name out there now."

Ripley grimaced, "I didn't see that. Damnit."

"It was always going to happen," Vic told him softly. "You were buying me time. What's the difference between thirty people and all of Seattle anyway? How was work?" 

"Everyone's still all excited but they're settling down," he said, picking at his food. "Frankel thinks your PR strategy is genius."

Travis looked at both of them sharply. "You staged that?" he asked, feeling a little ... weirdly betrayed.

"No," Vic said firmly. 

"We just knew there was a chance we'd get photographed," Ripley added. "We didn't expect it to be this much of a deal, I thought it would just be like, a quick news story."

"Then you went viral," Travis nodded slowly.

"The PR strategy is for us to do what we would do anyway," Vic added. "We've been in a bubble for so long and the whole point was to leave it. I'm not letting what other people think restrict what I do." 

Travis had thought that the twitter thread had exaggerated, but seeing them interact in a non-work environment, there were definitely lots of heart-eyes flying between the two. It was great, he was happy for his friend, but he couldn't deny a little spark of jealousy low in his stomach.

Damnit, he hated being single.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS  
> Yikes. Like a lot of you, I'm pretty bummed. I started watching for Lucas and Vic, and while I'll watch 216 for Vic, I'm then done with S19. I will finish this story, and I hope you'll travel along with me as I do :)


	15. Fractures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for some pretty nasty "locker room talk"*
> 
> *that's in reference to Trump's idea of locker room talk.
> 
> So it's basically gross men being grossly misogynistic and homophobic.

It was with a mixture of relief and stress that Vic kissed Lucas goodbye before they separated to their cars to go to work. She'd spent the latter part of the previous night and the whole morning being as bright and optimistic as possible, because he was stressed enough already.

But it'd been years since Vic had woken up with butterflies churning her stomach at the thought of going to work. For all the bravado she'd shown Lucas yesterday, it felt different, having her face on TV, and having people  _know_ that she was the one sleeping with the Chief.

More importantly, Vic wasn't sure how her team were going to react. They'd all been stunned the other day, and she'd been too wrapped up in the whole everything-is-collapsing thing to really pay attention to how they reacted (particularly as it had all come to a head just before dinner).

Now, she faced twenty-four hours with them. She knew Travis, and Sullivan, and probably Jack were in her corner but she worried about Maya and Andy in particular. They hadn't been thrilled the other day, and she'd not heard from them. Nor had Vic known how to start the conversation; you couldn't exactly text,  _so, all cool with me banging the chief right?_

Warren was the only one in the Beanery, pouring over a textbook, when she arrived, so Vic poured herself a cup of coffee and sat across from him.

"Vic, morning," he said, looking up with a start.

"Hey," she said, striving to sound normal. "Have a good couple of days off?"

Warren groaned. "Mostly just studied. Tuck was busy with homework too, and Miranda had work...I'm just glad we get this weekend off. I need to spend some time with them." He hesitated, "how were your days? Good date-night?"

"They were good -" Vic started automatically, before catching the second half of his question. "How did - right. The news." She made a face.

"Sorry, that was weird," Ben said. "I -"

"No, I knew it was on the news I'm just..." Vic frowned, fighting the reflexive impulse to brush it off. Brush  _Lucas_ off. "Not used to talking about him, I guess. I think we got lucky it was some kid with a phone, because we didn't even know until the next morning when we turned on the news. Um, so it was great. Really good. Like, we didn't have to hide or look out for people we knew or anything."

Ben regarded her with an indulgent smile. "Being in a secret romance is hard, hey?" he asked sympathetically.

"I mean, it started fun. But it got harder and harder," she took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with him."

It was the first time she'd said it out loud to someone else. 

Vic had never felt so liberated in her life.

Ben's smile broadened. "There's no feeling quite like it," he said softly. "Makes almost anything worth it."

Vic nodded, a little dumbfounded at how easy it had been to admit, out loud, to someone else. "We had Travis over for dinner last night," she said. "It was super awkward, really, but it was good to...I don't know -"

"Do couple things like host awkward family dinners?" Ben smirked.

"Morning," Travis sang cheerily, walking in and pouring a cup of coffee. He sat down next to Vic. "What're you talking about?"

"Dinner with the Hugheses last night," Ben said. "And how Vic thinks it went."

Travis smiled, turning to her. "How  _do_ you think it went?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" she countered.

"I mean, I felt really awkward," Travis admitted easily. "At first especially. But he's ... I find him kinda hard to read at work but he was so sweet with you that I was like, I get it. I think we started to get along towards the end."

Vic beamed. "It was kind of awkward. Lucas was really not sure about having you over to start with, but he said after you left that as we didn't have any plans on Sunday, we should go cycling with you."

A slow grin spread across Travis' face. "That sounds great, really great," he said, before frowning. "Not tomorrow, though? It's a Saturday."

"Lucas doesn't believe in doing anything after a 24 hour shift," Vic said with a laugh. "He was unimpressed that I went cycling with you the other day after work. Grey days are lazy days, he says."

Travis laughed. "What does he do on a 'grey day' then?"

"Well, when he worked 24 hour shifts he said he used to just lie in the grass in the backyard, no doubt getting sunburned," she said, somewhat disapprovingly. "And now, when it's my 'grey day' and he's not working, he runs to my place to meet me and sometimes we go out for breakfast and sometimes we just... He'll read, I'll nap, then have a late breakfast or something. Play Scrabble. Watch Netflix."

"Well, _that's_ adorable," Ben said. Vic blushed.

"If you'd normally go out to breakfast anyway," Travis began. "Maybe we should have a team breakfast with him tomorrow after work?"

Vic looked hesitant. 

"You know everyone here was surprised. I'm guessing they don't know what to think or how to react," he continued gently. "Spending a bit of time with you both outside work will help break that down."

"He was really reluctant even with just you," Vic said. "And he knows you're my best friend."

"I thought the whole point was to show off the hobby in public," Travis said soberly. "And the PR strategy was to do what's real."

"Yes but it doesn't have to happen all at once," Vic countered. "He's under so much pressure at work already. I don't want to push him at home."

"Maybe just start floating the idea," Ben suggested. "I mean, I kind of don't have a leg to stand on because when I was a resident I was with Miranda who was the Chief of Surgery but even I was still surprised by you and Ripley. It's just...I can see you love him, I just don't see why. He's my age, so older, super hard to read - we don't see the man you see."

Vic hummed. "I'll text him," she decided. "Tell him to consider it."

"Great," Travis smiled at her, but any ongoing conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Dean, Maya and Gibson.

"Morning," Maya said, sitting down next to Warren as Gibson sat across from her next to Travis. Dean entered the kitchen, starting up the stove.

"Hi," Vic said, feeling awkward under Maya's intense gaze. "Um. Dean, do you want a hand?" She jumped up before he could reply, and busied herself helping him cook them breakfast. Because it was Dean, breakfast was simple; scrambled eggs, sausages, and hash browns.

"You really want to avoid talking to Bishop that much?" Dean asked quietly as conversation started up at the table. Vic looked at him in surprise, and he shrugged. "Travis and Jack already knew, and Warren's not exactly the judging type."

"It's just I know she'll be disappointed in me, for being a cliche and it's not a cliche," Vic said after a moment.

Dean looked at her soberly. "You know, I think the thing I'm disappointed with," he said, and Vic felt her heart drop. "Is that I never even noticed.  _We_ never noticed that you had this ... thing ... going on. Like, it must be pretty serious for you to go to HR about it, otherwise, you'd keep sneaking around."

"I'm in love with him," the words fell from her lips this time.

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day," Dean replied, gaze fixed to hers. "I guess...I felt betrayed that you kept a secret from us that was that big. And then, over the days off, I thought well, you couldn't exactly tell us because you'd be worried about your careers and that maybe it was partly on me that I didn't notice you were..." he smiled affectionately, reaching out to pat her shoulder. "Falling in love. That's a big deal."

"Yeah," Vic said, reaching out to grasp his hand on her shoulder. "Thanks, Miller."

"Give Bishop a chance," Dean urged. "She's not...she's your friend. She cares about you."

They started setting out the food as Andy entered. There was the usual initial mayhem of chairs screeching, cutlery clinking, and arguing over who would get what sausage but eventually they all settled back in their spots.

"I didn't know the Chief had been married," Andy said after a few moments. "Twice before."

"Mmm," Vic replied non-commitally. 

"Must have been hard finding that out -" Andy continued.

"Let's get one thing straight," Vic said, putting her fork down. "I'm not going to talk about those kinds of things. That's his business."

"Vic, I'm just worried about you," Andy said, setting her fork down too, and looking down the table earnestly at her. "It's always a red flag -"

"See, he told me all about it ages ago," Vic said defensively. "I know what happened -"

"From his point of view," Maya interjected gently. "What about their -"

"I've met his first ex-wife," Vic interrupted. "We're friends, actually, and in a couple of weeks we're going to catch up with her again for lunch. She's told me her side. And I know everything I need to know about his second ex-wife. And that's actually more than  _you_ need to know."

"I had breakfast with my dad the other day," Andy pressed. "He's known Ripley a long time, and, well, apparently he's got quite the reputation as a womaniser." Vic's jaw dropped in disbelief. "I just want you to be careful -"

"Not that it's any of your business, but I've had sex with more people than Lucas has," Vic snapped. "So if you want to call either of us a slut, it really should be me. Before you start, Andy, I've also had sex with more firefighters than he has, being that he's only slept with me." She pushed her chair back. "I'm not hungry."

"What the hell, Herrera?" she could hear Travis demanding angrily as Vic stormed away from the table.

She found herself standing in the exercise room, and her eyes landed on the punching bag. She pulled on a pair of gloves that were too big for her (she thought they might be Warren's) and started laying into the bag.

She hated the way people thought she was naive.

She hated the way people thought Lucas was  _capable_ of manipulating someone, anyone, for sex. Vic knew that he didn't get to be Chief without being a bit of a manipulative person, and she'd seen him manipulate people and always admired at how he did it in such a nice way, to make the best outcome possible. He was too  _sensitive_ to bully or manipulate his way into sex and while sure, he'd basically asked her to ask him to have sex with her, she had thrown all her flirting game at him well before they got to that point.

She hated the way anyone thought their relationship was something they could comment on.

Vic wasn't sure how long she'd been there, throwing punches at it, when suddenly the bag stopped swinging with a palpable thud.

"Your technique's terrible, Hughes," Sullivan's deep voice boomed. Vic looked up, glaring at him. "It is. And this is usually my shtick."

"Sorry that you don't have a monopoly on needing to hit things," Vic said through gritted teeth. "And I know, use the first two knuckles, blah blah blah." Her captain gave her a lopsided smile. 

"There's more to it than that. You know, unfocused anger doesn't help let it out, you just feel more angry and then sore," Sullivan said. "Take it from me. But if you focus the anger, use it in a disciplined fashion, it feels better afterward."

"You're still angry though," Vic countered.

"My wife died," he said. "That's enough anger for a lifetime. And there were times I was less angry, and that made me more angry because it felt like I was betraying her." Sullivan sighed. 

Vic paused. "I never met her," she said baldly. "But I don't reckon she would've wanted you to be angry."

"I've been telling myself that a lot recently, because I'm not angry like I was," Sullivan admitted.

"Maybe you don't need to be angry anymore," Vic said quietly.

"But you are," he changed the subject, pinning her with a sharp gaze. "Did someone say something?"

"Nothing you need to worry about," Vic sighed. "I just...I'm the youngest and sometimes they treat me like a kid sister."

"And Luke's older," Sullivan nodded.

"I'm not naive here," Vic said. "I knew what I was getting into. Well, I didn't, I didn't really think I was going to ...that I'd end up loving him. But I started it. And I  _know_ him. And I don't like other people trying to tell me about him because I know him better than anyone in this building except maybe you, and I trust _him_ to tell me."

Sullivan's face softened minutely. "All right, let's get you punching properly," was all he said. "You're doing movie-style roundhouse swings. Don't. It's a waste of energy. You want to snap from your elbow and your shoulder, pop it, like this." He let out a quick hit onto the bag. "See how that's different to what you're doing?" He sailed in a wide punch.

"Yeah," Vic said, begrudgingly. 

"Good. You try."

By the time Sullivan was finished with her, Vic was sweaty, exhausted, and her arms and hands hurt. But she felt satisfied in a way that she hadn't with the wild swinging punches, and her anger solidified in a small ball in her stomach.

"Okay," Sullivan's forehead had a faint sheen of sweat as well, and he nodded at her, stern expression back in place. "I'm going to put you on the ladder. You can't be too reckless there." His stern expression cracked momentarily. "Luke will kill me if so much as a hair on your head is harmed, regardless of whether it was because you were being a damn fool."

"Sir," Vic nodded. "And thanks."

They turned to exit the gym, and Vic stopped as she saw Andy peering in the doorway, an odd expression on her face as her gaze flicked between Vic and Sullivan.

"I don't mean to interrupt," she said in a stilted fashion.

"Don't," Vic said, holding a hand up. "It's fine. Don't." And she brushed past her Lieutenant, heading to the locker rooms to change. 

* * *

 

The thing about the station was that you could always find something to do, and it was so big that avoiding people wasn't too hard. So Vic successfully whiled away the morning carefully and methodically checking all the hoses in relative peace.

 _Engine 19, Ladder 19, Aid 19 to a fire_ -

Vic dropped what she was doing and ran to her turnouts, pulling them on quickly.

"Isn't that Tuck's -"

"School, yes," Ben shouted back to her from the engine. "Hopefully it's less eventful."

It wasn't less eventful, and Vic swore as she swung out of the ladder behind Maya and Travis. Smoke rose from one of the school buildings, and within minutes, she, Travis, Maya and Dean were heading in to the building.

The scene quickly became chaotic; while the fire was easily contained to the science block, the hundreds of teenagers running through hallways shrieking in a combination of genuine fear and hysteria, and milling around outside, was causing a problem. 23 and 44 were quickly called to the scene as they tried to prevent the fire from getting into the science room store-rooms.

Vic and Maya had been tagged out for fifteen minutes to go and drink some water. 

"Say, Mayhorn, weren't you banging Hughes as well?" Vic froze as she heard a snippet of conversation behind her. Across from her, Maya's eyes widened.

She'd texted him that first night, saying, _hi, so this is weird but I want you to hear it from me and not someone else. I'm seeing Ripley. I started seeing him a few weeks after. im guessing it will be pretty open knowledge soon so. yeah. any questions?_

Mayhorn had simply replied, hours later, with,  _okay that's weird. but thanks for telling me i guess? gl_

"Hughes and I went on a few dates. Didn't work out," she thanked David silently as she heard his reply.

"So?"

"So what?"

"How was she, you know," she heard some chuckles and took a deep breath, forcing herself to take another sip of water. Maya's eyes narrowed, and Vic muttered, "leave it, Bishop."

It was too late.

"Hey, fuckwits," Maya shouted past her, and Vic closed her eyes tightly. "Shut the fuck up."

"Just making conversation," came an unfamiliar voice, and Vic took a deep breath before slowly turning around. Mayhorn was looking at the ground, cheeks red, while a couple of other firefighters - one from 23 and one from 44 - stood near him. A guy with a moustache seemed to be the main talker. "What are you gonna do, run crying to the Chief?"

"I mean, it explains why he's always at 19," a voice came from the side, and Vic's stomach plummeted as she saw 44's captain join the discussion. The man stared at her with frank dislike. "Plowing the field there."

"Guess that's the perk of the job." sniggered Moustache Man.  

"Hey, who the fuck do you think you are?" out of nowhere, Herrera joined in.

"Clearly Hughes hasn't _performed_  well enough to earn a lieutenant spot," 44's captain sneered. "Clearly, Herrera had it easier, just be the daughter of a captain -"

"I seem to recall, Johns," Frankel's cold voice cuts over the melee. "Telling you I'd fire you on the spot if I heard you making any more misogynistic remarks."

Vic was more than a bit pleased to see the colour drain out of his face.

"And yet you don't have a problem with the Chief just -" he said, defensively.

"Believe me, if the HR investigation had found any misconduct you can bet that I'd have a massive problem with that. But there wasn't, so the massive problem I have is you," she paused. "You're fired. Get the fuck out of here."

"Ma'am, with all _due respect_ , you can't -"

"Yes I can," she replied calmly. "It's an interesting provision. Under normal circumstances, you're right, the Chief would have to fire you. But condition two of the HR findings states that in the event of any promotional or disciplinary action involving Hughes, the call is up to her Battalion Chief. Who's her Battalion Chief?"

Johns swallowed hard, and Frankel gave him a tight smile. "That's right. I am. And I fired you several minutes earlier and yet you're still on this active scene. What part of get the  _fuck_ out did you not understand?"

"If I don't have a job, then let me say, you're a dyke bitch, Frankel, and you always will be, hiding behind Ripley," he snarled. "But the Golden Boy ain't so golden anymore, so watch your fucking back." With that, he turned and stormed off.

Frankel's face might well have been carved from stone for all the impact his words had, and she turned her gaze to Mayhorn and the two other firefighters standing with him. "Names," she barked.

"Marquez," "Parker," came two terrified replies.

"It had nothing to do with him," Vic interrupted as Mayhorn opened his mouth. Frankel shot her a look, but nodded.

"Marquez, Parker, consider this a warning. I'm very happy to fire people on the spot. Now get back to work," she said, glaring. They scampered off.

 "You can't fire everyone who says that kind of shit, Chief," came another unfamiliar voice, and Vic looked around to see 23's captain standing nearby next to Sullivan who looked grimmer than she'd ever seen him.

"Perhaps not," said Frankel icily. "But it won't stop me from trying." She looked over to Vic, and flashed what Vic figured Frankel thought was a reassuring smile. "I've been trying to get rid of that unimaginative fuckwit for years. Chin up, go back to work."

"Ma'am," Vic said crisply, trying to hide the fact that her hands were shaking in a mixture of anger and embarrassment. She took another swig of water, resettled her helmet, and looked over to Maya. "Ready?"

"When you are," Maya replied grimly. Mayhorn caught up to the two of them as they walked back towards the building.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, Vic," he said quietly.

"Not your fault, and I appreciate what you said," Vic replied, unable to look at him. "I'm sorry you're in this position."

"Can I just - I didn't know how to ask in a text," at this, Vic did pause. Maya stopped a couple of steps ahead, glancing back to Vic. "I liked you. I really liked you. What does he have that I don't?"

Vic bit back the automatic but honest reply that Lucas Ripley was infinitely a more interesting person than Mayhorn was. "He's...thoughtful," she said instead with a shrug. "About everything he says, and does."

"You're saying he's smarter than me," Mayhorn winced. "Okay."

"You're not dumb, David, it's just...he's thoughtfully reckless. He doesn't just jump out of a plane, he thinks about it, decides it's fun, and jumps," Vic said, before sighing. "This is an impossible question to answer. At the end of the day, it comes down to you're you, and he's him, and he and I just ... I'm gonna sound so cheesy, but he's the missing puzzle piece in my life and you just weren't the right one."

He still looked unhappy but nodded. "Anyway, thanks for telling me, I guess, and good luck."

"You too," Vic said, breathing a sigh of relief as she quickened her steps away from him, towards Maya.

"Everything okay?" her lieutenant asked.

"Peachy."

* * *

 

She was unsurprised to find, after getting back to the station and cleaning the ladder, hanging her turnouts, washing her face and arms, that there was a message on her phone from Lucas.

 _Call me please_ , it read simply.

She climbed into her bunk, hugging her knees to her chest, and called him.

"Hey," he said, and Vic started to cry, trying to muffle the noise.

"Hi," she replied.

"Frankel told me what happened," he said. "You okay, Eggy?"

"I'm fine, Scruffy," she replied.

"You're crying, Vic," Lucas said with such sadness that it only made her cry more. "So you're not fine."

"I knew this would happen," Vic said, wiping her eyes in vain. "I just...I'm angry at how they talk about you."

"Don't worry about me," he said. "Do you want me to come over?"

"You can't, Lucas," Vic sighed. "You know you can't."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising? This isn't your fault."

"Still, I'm sorry."

"I nearly punched him for talking about you like that."

"I bet you did," he sounded proud, and that pride warmed her a little. "I'm kinda glad you didn't though; you'd have had to get in trouble."

"Yeah," Vic said, hesitating before asking, "she just fired him like that."

"She probably shouldn't have," Lucas replied honestly. "But on the other hand he has attended sensitivity training before so I don't think there'll be too much of a stink over a mediocre captain getting fired." There was a pause. "You're not worried about  _him_ , are you?"

"No, I just," she sighed. "It's fine, baby."

"You sure you don't want me to come over?"

She laughed a little. "You know you can't."

"I love you, Vic."

"I love you," she hesitated.

"What?"

"Travis thinks that it would help my crew if we had breakfast with you," she said. "He wanted to do it tomorrow. I said I'd text you."

"You didn't."

"No. I don't...I don't want to pressure you. I know work's awful at the moment, and you only just had dinner with Travis last -"

"Okay," he interrupted simply.

"What?"

"I'm not going to be any less stressed about how to navigate your coworkers in a week, in a month, in a year," he said. "Better to rip it off, like a bandaid. Get it done. Whenever you're ready for me to do it."

"Okay," Vic sighed. "Guess we should go tomorrow."

"You sound unenthused."

"I just...like you said. Like a bandaid. I can't face another 24 hours with them -"

"Did your team say something?" Lucas demanded protectively.

"Nothing ... nothing like  _that_. They all jumped in to defend me to other people. Just. They don't know you and so they've said some stupid things," Vic sighed. 

"I don't care what they think," Lucas sighed. "But I know you do. I'll be as charming as possible."

"Don't," Vic bit out. "Just be you. You're more than charming enough."

There was a knock on her door, and Vic quickly wiped her face, trying to erase all evidence of the tears.

"It's Travis," her best friend called.

"Come in," Vic said to Travis. 

"Dinner's ready, Vic," her friend said, glancing at the phone still to her ear.

"Are you sure, Lucas?" 

"Yep," Lucas replied, popping the 'p'.

"Okay, I'll text you when we decide where we're going."

"Sounds good. I love you."

"I love you too."

Vic hung up, looking at a delighted Travis.

"He'll come?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm in love with him," Vic said. "I told Warren, and Dean, and Sullivan. I figured I should tell you too."

Travis smiled indulgently back at her. "I already knew. But I'm happy you can say it now."

"So'm I. He'll come."


	16. Comparative Dining Experiences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barrett mentioned the whole First Lady of Seattle Fire Department thing in an interview somewhere, I thought it was hilarious, and so stole it.

Robert settled down at the end of a table, next to Montgomery. The seats across from them were left empty, which he was grateful for. If it all went pear shaped, Lucas would be relatively isolated from the rest of the table; buffered by Vic, Travis, Robert and Family Warren (who would probably be sympathetic).

He couldn't help but think this was a bad idea. Emotions were still running high in the team; he had no idea what had happened between Herrera and Hughes, but they were barely talking despite the lieutenant having come to Hughes' defence. Although, to be fair, Robert wasn't sure if that was just Herrera specific. Hughes had been quiet ever since getting back from the scene.

And he knew Luke would be uncomfortable. Hell, in the other man's shoes, he would be too. He kind of was uncomfortable anyway.

Robert had only agreed to come because Hughes had asked him. "For Luke, please, I know having his best friend there will help." He'd been powerless against that request.

So here he was. Eating a meal with the team. Because Lucas was in love with a member of his team.

"They're here," Travis hissed excitedly, and despite himself, Robert followed his gaze to the door where Vic, followed by Rip, were entering.

"Quit staring it's weird," Robert hissed at the table, and the whole team dropped their gazes back to the menu.

"Sorry we're a bit late," Vic said breezily, taking a seat.

"Morning," Rip said tightly, settling next to her. They were close, but specifically not touching; like they were hovering around some imaginary border of personal space.

"It's okay," Montgomery said a bit too brightly. "Warren and family aren't here yet."

"There's a surprise," Vic replied, also a bit too brightly. "Doctors, right?"

"Can I take your orders?" asked a waitress, coming up to them, staring outright at Ripley and Vic.

"We're waiting on a few people," Robert cut in, seeing his friend look down at his plate uncomfortably. "But we could probably order drinks?" A murmur of assent rose around the table, and the waitress went around, taking their orders. Her gaze flickered back frequently to Ripley, whose already tense shoulders had tightened further.

An awkward silence settled over the table, but before anyone could break it, Ripley's phone rang. He looked at the screen, sighed, showed it to Vic who shrugged and rolled her eyes, but nodded at him.

"Excuse me," he said, getting up and leaving the table, stepping back out of the restaurant to take the call.

"So, I bet that Family Warren will be another fifteen minutes," Hughes said. Robert had to admire her determination to plough through the awkwardness.

"Ten," Travis said quickly, just as Gibson said, "twenty."

Robert shook his head, and the team bet on a range between 5 minutes and another forty-five minutes (Dean). Just as the wagered money had been collated in the middle, Ripley walked back in, taking his seat.

Robert cringed internally at the tight, blank face Ripley was wearing. Back at 88, in the day, they'd joked about whether there was a Riptide looming. It took a while for Rip to actually lose his temper, but when he did it was explosive. Robert would've said, if anyone asked, that there was a 80% chance of a Riptide occurring at breakfast this morning based on his old friend's expression now.

The rest of the table could obviously sense it, and their murmurs quietened. The tension wasn't helped by the waitress coming back around with their coffees, still shooting sideways glances at Ripley and Vic. Robert almost laughed when Vic waved faux-cheerily at the woman on one glance, and the waitress nearly spilled Dean's coffee over him.

"Thanks," Rip grunted as his coffee was placed in front of him.

Vic sighed, reaching for the packets of sugar in the middle of the table. She passed a handful over to Rip, who looked a little confused.

"Thanks -?" he started, but Vic simply reached out and passed him another handful quickly.

"Travis, could you please pass me some of the sugar from the table behind you?" she asked sweetly.

"Vic, what are -" Ripley was clearly surprised.

"I'm trying to sweeten you up," she said, turning and smiling sunnily at him. [There was a hint of steel in the smile, though, and Robert braced himself for the Riptide]. "Because you're now in a shitty mood."

There was an audible, sharp intake of breath around the table as everyone braced for the explosion.

"That is...terrible, an absolutely terrible joke," Rip said with a bark of laughter. "And I'm sorry, I just...you know you would have thought that Josh would get the message by now."

Vic quirked an eyebrow. "He got through the do not disturb?"

"He called twice within 15 minutes, someone's clued him into it," Lucas replied with a groan, starting to put the excess sugar packets where they belonged. "He wanted to know if we wanted to do an interview for some women's magazine. The desperately bored retirees of Seattle or something."

Vic groaned. "Seriously? Did you tell him we're holding out for Oprah?"

"Or Colbert," Lucas countered. "No because I'm genuinely worried he and Mallory would try to arrange it. I mean, this one was actually kind of funny. They wanted the 'First Lady of Seattle FD's' top gardening tips."

"I'm gonna murder whoever came up with that nickname," Vic muttered as the rest of the table laughed, partly at the conversation and partly in relief.

"I think it was Green," Lucas volunteered cheerfully, before meeting Robert's eyes and explaining, "Vic's the worst gardener known to man."

"I have those little herbs in the kitchen!" Vic objected, as Travis also argued in her defence, "she's got that mint and basil and parsley!"

"When was the last time _you_ watered them, Vic?" Ripley accused her, nudging her shoulder. She glared at him, as her team laughed.

Robert simply gave his friend a broad smile. He'd never seen anyone charm Lucas out of a mood like that before; Eva had simply responded with passive aggressiveness, and Laura had just ignored him.

Suddenly, Robert felt a little less nervous about the whole thing.

* * *

Dean took a deep breath, stretching out his arms and rolling his shoulders. Jack shot him an anxious look.

"Well, I guess someone's gotta say it," he said loudly, and Ripley looked up from his menu down the table at him. Dean pushed back the instinctive urge to recoil, and instead steepled his fingers in front of him. "What are your intentions toward our Vic?"

"I'm going to marry her," Ripley replied casually, without hesitation.

"Because - wait,  _what_?!" Dean stumbled; having not processed the older man's words properly as Vic choked on her coffee.

"Kinda surprised you didn't do that already before going to HR," Sullivan commented blandly. Dean gaped at the captain.

"Sorry, what?" Vic finished dabbing her mouth with a napkin.

"It's a loophole," Ripley told her calmly. "Rank technically isn't an issue between spouses."

"Wait, _what_?" Vic turned to him. "You mean -"

"It's a legal thing in Seattle; you can't discriminate against a person because of their marital status," Sullivan interjected. "So it would circumvent some disciplinary action, and they couldn't fire you."

Ripley made a face. "They could argue that they were firing me for what happened  _before_ we got married, in this scenario," he said. "It would've been a risky play."

"Wait, you knew about this loophole thing and  _didn't_ tell me?" Vic exclaimed.

Ripley looked at her in surprise. "I knew you'd never go for it," he said. "And I figured you'd freak out."

"I don't freak out -" Ripley levelled a look at her and Vic rolled her eyes. "Oh shut up. But also, it sounds like it would've been a very practical solution."

"Getting married?" Travis said incredulously. "Marriage shouldn't be practical!"

"I mostly said that just now to mess with Miller, and a bit with you," Ripley ignored Travis. "But you're _not_ freaking out."

"Well, if we got married properly, could we be spies still?" Vic batted her eyelashes at him, and Ripley laughed.

"I feel like I'm missing a lot of things in a conversation that was meant to be about us hurting you if anything happened to Vic," Dean said out loud.

"Consider me thoroughly warned," Ripley said patronisingly. "There's this diner we go to -"

"The manager thinks we're married -"

"And Vic has decided if we're fake-married it's because we're spies because she's seen _Mr and Mrs Smith_   _way_ too many times."

"It's a great movie," Vic said defensively.

"You just like Brad Pitt," Maya laughed accusingly. 

"You can talk, Mrs Angelina Jolie," Vic retorted.

Ripley rolled his eyes at both of them. "It's a terrible spy movie."

"Says the man who likes bloody _Mission Impossible_!"

"Hey, it's a classic," Sullivan cut in with a glare.

"Is it weird I'm kind of most nervous about Cam's reaction to all ... this?" Ripley screwed up his face, asking Vic.

"Cam's the manager," Vic explained to the rest of them before turning back to him and lowering her voice a bit. "And, um, yes, given the parking lot incident?"

From the way Ripley ducked his head and blushed, Dean figured he really  _didn't_ want to know what the parking lot incident was.

"Well, Yemi hasn't mentioned seeing a diner on the news, so presumably this guy hasn't gone to the media," Dean said, and Vic and Ripley both immediately tensed again, Ripley's face closing over into the neutral expression Dean was used to from work.

"Yemi's his sister," Jack explained, uncomfortably. "She ..."

"Kind of was excited by the story?" Dean said apologetically. "I mean, she thinks it's great, that you guys are relationship goals."

Vic flashed him an awkward half-smile as Ripley stared back down at his menu.

* * *

Andy felt grateful for Warren and his family arriving, as it broke some of the tension Dean had re-started by mentioning the news. In the meantime, her stomach was still churning as Vic was studiously avoiding her gaze. Andy was unable to even enjoy scooping up the 50 dollars she'd won by guessing how late Family Warren would be (25 minutes).

She'd kind of hoped after jumping in to defend her friend that things would improve, but Vic had been basically silent for the rest of the shift. And really, watching Ripley with her now, Andy kind of felt a bit bad for jumping to assumptions. He  _was_ different outside of work, relaxed and easy-going in a way she hadn't expected.

Then again, given how Sullivan could be when he let his guard down, it shouldn't have been that much of a surprise.

Ripley's phone rang again, and he glanced at it. "Excuse me," he said tightly, interrupting the greetings to Family Warren. "Order for me." He touched Vic's shoulder gently as he got up again.

"He can't be on call again, surely," Travis asked in a quiet voice. "Or is it PR again?"

"He's the Chief," Vic replied simply, a hint of pride in her voice. "He's always on call. Anyway, hi Dr Bailey, Tuck."

"Hey Vic," said Miranda cheerfully. 

"Hey," Tuck said, staring a little. Andy watched as her friend tensed a little under the boy's scrutiny.

"Ready to order?" asked the waitress, reappearing, and glancing almost automatically at Ripley's empty chair. 

"Maybe start down that end," Miranda instructed, waving towards the other end of the table.

"Hey, Vic, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday," Andy leaned forward and said quietly. "You're right. It was none of my business."

Vic flashed her a tight smile. "Thanks," she said. "And thanks for stepping in with those idiots at the scene."

"I didn't do much," Andy said. "Frankel saved the day."

Vic smirked at her tone. "Frankel's not that bad."

They'd ordered, and Miranda had skillfully engaged Sullivan in a discussion of pre-hospital vs ER treatment before Ripley returned. He slipped back into his chair and Andy watched as he leaned into Vic's ear. 

Whatever the call had been about, Vic clearly knew it was something different as she didn't even try to cheer him up. They shared a quick, whispered conversation, before Vic passed him her car keys from her handbag.

"Everything okay?" Sullivan asked, eyes sharp.

"There's a situation developing down town," Ripley said curtly. "I may get called away."

"Travis, you can drop me home if he needs to go, right?"

"Of course."

Andy watched as Vic reached out and took his hand. Vic gave him a worried smile, and he simply nodded at her a bit.

* * *

Mom and Ben had been weirdly quiet in the car, and when they'd pulled up at the cafe, Ben had twisted around in the front seat.

"This might be a bit uncomfortable today, Tuck, a bit awkward," he had said.

"Because of the Chief?" Tuck had raised his eyebrow. He'd seen a bit of it on the news when Mom had watched, and he recognised Vic and so he'd been curious and googled it.

"Yeah," Ben had said after a moment. "Nobody...the rest of the team only just found out. It's...some people aren't happy."

"Because he's your boss or because it was a secret?" Tuck had asked.

Ben had shrugged. "Bit of both, I think. This is an...an icebreaker, okay. I don't quite know what's going to happen this morning."

"I'm just here for the milkshakes," he had said. So they had gone in, passing the Chief on his phone outside the cafe, involved in what looked like a serious conversation. Tuck had taken the seat next to his empty one before he realised what he'd done, and then it felt too weird to swap. Vic had said hello normally enough, and Tuck couldn't help but stare.

[Hey, it wasn't weird to notice that Vic was really very pretty. And the Chief seemed really old, and  _serious_ ]. The Chief had come back in, and they'd had a quiet conversation that Tuck had only heard bits of. He noticed that the rest of the table were trying to stare without being obvious.

Ben was right. It was awkward. And he only made it more awkward by clearing his throat when the Chief and Vic stopped whispering to each other, and saying, "Chief, I don't know if you've met my wife, Miranda?"

The Chief gave a thin smile. "We go back. Hi Dr Bailey."

Mom returned the smile with her business one. "We do. I think the first time we met properly was at the ferry incident?"

He nodded. "You guys did amazing work that day."

"So did you," Mom said. "You and your team were there before we got there, and you were still there when we left. How long did you spend at that scene?"

"Bat Chief Whitford rotated me and my team out after about 18 hours," the Chief replied. "The last bit was just clean up, though, and trying to make sure we'd gotten all the ..." he glanced at Tuck. "Hadn't missed anyone."

Tuck figured he meant bodies.

"This is my son, Tuck," Mom introduced.

"Hey, man, I'm Lucas," the Chief said.

"I know, I saw you on the news," Tuck said without thinking. The Chief made a face, and he saw that on his other side, Vic was looking nervous. 

"I'm not used to that," the Chief said quietly.

"Is it a bit weird people know who you are?" Tuck asked curiously.

"Yeah," Lucas said with a shrug. "And I think people take photos of me and Vic now when we don't know which is also weird."

"That's social media for you," Tuck said sagely. The heating in the cafe made it warm, so he shrugged out of his jacket, only to see Lucas give him a smile - not like the one he'd given Mom just before but a proper grin.

"Hey, you're a Slytherin too!" he exclaimed with what seemed to be pretty honest excitement, so Tuck grinned back.

"Seriously?! I've not met many Slytherins. All my friends are, like, Ravenclaws or Gryffindors," Tuck said.

"I'm definitely a Slytherin," Lucas told him. "We're the coolest."

"We get stuff  _done_ ," Tuck said emphatically, gesturing towards Mom and Ben. "Mom and Ben are Ravenclaws."

"Well, Vic's a Gryffindor," Lucas replied, nudging Vic with his shoulder. "And so's Sullivan."

"I don't know what that means," Sullivan said, sounding confused.

"It means we're brave and awesome," Vic said with a grin. 

"I'd expect most firefighters would be Gryffindors," Tuck said thoughtfully. "Running  _towards_ fires and all."

Vic narrowed her eyes at him. "You calling me stupid?" Tuck wasn't entirely sure how to respond to that, he hadn't meant to offend her, and he was  _pretty_ sure she was teasing him...

"You said it, Gryffindor girl, not us," Lucas said, and Vic stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, very mature, Victoria." Vic grinned back at him.

"It's from the Harry Potter series," Andy explained to Sullivan.

"I'm a Slytherin too," Maya volunteered. Tuck grinned at her, and Lucas nodded.

"I suspected as much," Lucas said, glancing at Tuck. [Tuck had always figured Maya would be a Slytherin too. She was kinda scary].

"I'm a Gryffindor," Jack added. "Dean, you'd be -"

"Ravenclaw," Dean replied.

"Not a Hufflepuff?" Jack asked teasingly. 

"Please, I'm not dumb," Dean retorted.

"I'm a Gryffindor too," said Andy.

"So that's three, four Gryffindors, one Slytherin, a Ravenclaw -" Tuck counted. Everyone looked to Travis.

"Hufflepuff," he said gloomily.

"Hufflepuffs are the best," Vic said loyally, and he flashed her a quick smile.

"Aren't you too old for Harry Potter though?" Tuck asked Lucas. Vic choked on her drink.

Lucas simply smiled and shrugged. "I really liked the first three books," he said. "And the movies are pretty good. Why can't adults enjoy stuff even if it's 'meant for kids'? When you're an adult, will _you_ still like Harry Potter?"

It seemed like a fair point, and Tuck thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, probably," he said. "I mean, the movies are really cool. Did you see the Fantastic Beasts movies?"

"The animals are so cool -" Lucas began before his phone rang, and suddenly he became super serious again. He grabbed for it, letting go of Vic's hand and starting to stand as he answered, "Ripley."

Whatever the other person said made him freeze, and he slowly sat back down, grabbing Vic's hand again as a relieved smile spread across his face. "Well done, Matty. Great work," he paused, listening. "Okay. Where did they - Seattle Pres? Okay. Thanks." There was another pause. "Absolutely, happy to. Um, I'm out at the moment so I don't have my schedule -"

Vic reached for her phone, nudging his shoulder.

"Hang on, Vic's got a copy, one second, Chong," Lucas squinted at Vic's phone. "Monday's pretty full; but if you don't mind swinging by a bit late around 5.30 we could go through it then. Did you want to bring - yeah, okay. I'll email Kim and make sure she locks you in. You're happy with how containment's going? Good. Okay. See you Monday then."

He hung up, glancing at Vic. "Kim just started BCC'ing me in," Vic said. "I assumed you -"

"Nope, it's just the control freak in her," Lucas said. 

"She's requested I forward her our rosters," Sullivan said drily.

Lucas shook his head. "Remind me to fire her," he said idly to Vic. She rolled her eyes at him.

"You do also realise, Mr Luddite, that you can hit the home button on your phone and pull up your schedule?" she informed him.

"Won't that hang up on them?" he asked with a frown. Maya stifled a laugh as Vic gave an exasperated sigh. 

"Look at you, old man," Sullivan rolled his eyes. "Even I know you can do that. See," he pulled out his phone, obviously dialling Ripley. 

"Okay, answer," Tuck said, jumping in and leaning over Lucas' arm. "And then press the home button, and see, your home screen comes up - wow, do you need to organise these apps!"

"Thank you, Tuck, see Lucas?" Vic said approvingly.

"And then to get back to the call, say you want to put them on speaker or something, hit the flashing green thing at the top, see?" Tuck instructed, and Lucas gingerly poked at the screen, lifting the phone to his ear.

"Okay, does this work?" he said sceptically into the phone.

"I can hear you, man," Sullivan, sitting across from him, rolled his eyes, phone in the hand resting on the table. Their captain turned his phone around though, so Lucas could see there was still an active call.

"Huh," Lucas said. "Useful. Thanks." Vic rolled her eyes again at him as the two men hung up.

Tuck had been a little nervous of the serious Fire Chief, but he was turning out to be much cooler than Sullivan. And he'd obviously been worried about the phone call - a bit like Mom sometimes got. So Tuck decided to risk teasing the Chief a bit, "seriously, how  _old_ is he?"

Lucas laughed. "See, when I was young, and dinosaurs roamed the earth, we had more respect for our elders," he replied jokingly.

Any further conversation was interrupted by the arrival of their meals. Lucas got serious again, staring at the table as the waitresses delivering their meals stared at him and Vic. Vic did the exact opposite to Lucas, though, she stared at the servers with a bright (and Tuck was pretty sure it was a fake) smile.

* * *

 Maya frowned, watching them eat. Ripley must have been left-handed too, because their hands remained entwined and he was easily using his left hand. She watched Vic steal a piece of bacon from his plate, and felt a small pang of surprise and ... maybe envy? at how happy and easy they looked together. Ripley was totally different with her, and it was weird.

"You're being creepy," Jack murmured in her ear.

"I just," Maya said defensively, tensing as she saw Andy glare at them from across the table. "I was thinking that in retrospect I hadn't hung with Vic all that much recently, and I just...I missed this. I completely missed that she was seeing a guy and that they were ..."

"Happy?" Jack offered. Maya nodded. "Even with the unbelievable pressure they must be under now."

"Like, they're just trying to ignore everyone staring at them," Maya whispered back. "And those jackasses at the scene -"

Jack's expression darkened.

"Next time," Dean cut in protectively. "Next time get us. I won't have anyone saying that shit."

They finished eating, and Maya watched as Vic casually paid for both of them. There wasn't even an audible discussion about it; clearly, they had an arrangement.

"We need to drop by Seattle Pres," Vic said more than asked quietly as everyone got up. "I'll just wait in the car."

"I can drop you home first, if you want," Ripley replied, equally quietly. 

"Don't be silly, it's on the way," Vic said firmly, and he nodded in acquiescence.

"Still on for cycling tomorrow, Mont - Travis?" Ripley said, looking up. Travis beamed and nodded. 

"0800 at the lake?" he said, directed more to Vic who nodded.

Vic and Ripley left, his hand on the small of her back, and Travis looked triumphantly to the rest of the table.

"That went well," he said.

"Surprisingly well," Sullivan said, sounding a bit relieved.

"For an old guy he's cool," Tuck said brightly. "Although I still think it's bit weird Vic's dating him."

"You knew him already?" Ben asked Miranda. She gave him an odd look.

"I remember him when he was still bringing in patients," she replied, hesitating before adding. "And you knew about his ... tradition?" Ben frowned at her. "He visits all the injured firefighters in hospital, if he can."

"So that's what that was all about," Maya realised.

"Can everyone stop being weird about it now?" Jack demanded. "Like, it's cool. They're cool. Vic's happy."

"Which is the main thing," Travis added protectively.

"Yeah, I'm cool," Dean shrugged. Maya nodded her agreement. 

The whole table looked at Andy.

"I still think it's weird," she said defensively, unable to stop a side glare at Maya. "But sure. Whatever."

"Now that's settled, let's go. See you all bright and early Monday morning," Sullivan said, grabbing his keys from the table, and leading them out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's interested, this was the scene that launched this fic.


	17. Confrontation

It had been a surprise to Lucas to realise how much having the team breakfast go - not well, exactly, but okay - meant to him. He knew Vic was delighted and relieved, and he got it, they were her family.

Lucas had cared about what his immediate circle thought; he had built his career on trying to ensure equality and fairer treatment for women in the force, and he knew that from the outside, being with Vic undermined that. Her little outburst in Sullivan's office had gone a long way towards changing their opinions of her, and Frankel had been unexpectedly stridently supportive. Which was a relief, because he kind of hadn't wanted to disappoint Frankel in this way; about his conduct with women.

Lucas had thought he hadn't cared what people outside that circle thought, and to some extent that was true, but the implications people were putting on  _her_ were almost unbearable. He saw the scepticism and pity in people's eyes; he could see people thought he was being taken for a ride and he hated that people thought that of his strong, smart, clever, brave, beautiful woman. It was impossible not to hate himself a little for putting her in this position.

So to know that her crew didn't see her like that meant the world to him, and it made it a little easier to fake the complete nonchalance he was trying to show at work. He'd worked on his neutral Chief's face for years, and now it was being tested.

He missed their bubble. He missed their diner. [They still hadn't gone; cycling yesterday with Travis had gone really well, and Lucas was glad to find he liked the younger man as Vic's best friend. The three of them had gone to breakfast, and by unspoken agreement, he and Vic had steered them elsewhere. They needed to go to the diner together, just the two of them, to deal with what reactions they would have there].

Lucas paused by Kim's desk on the way in, dropping off the sheaf of paperwork he'd finished over the weekend.

"You're forwarding my schedule without me knowing now?" he asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow.

Kim looked unapologetically back at him. "It'll be nice to give her some guidance on what you're doing," she said. "And now I have 19's rosters, I can help try to minimise how late the meetings go on her days off."

Lucas frowned at her, a little surprised.

Kim sighed. "Chief, if I can speak informally," she said tentatively.

"Well, I mean, you're already informally forwarding my schedule without speaking to me, and going outside the normal processes to get a specific station's roster to meddle in my personal life so..." Lucas said sharply, sighing when he saw Kim wince. 

Kim took a deep breath. "You're happy. Even in the midst of all this rubbish on TV and the council hearings and the HR report - you're happy. I've known you for years and not seen you like that. Your Vic is a practical, sweet girl, that's easy to see, but she needs you to put the time into the relationship because we all need to put time into our relationships. You're busy; that's not going to change, but if you're staying late past 5.30pm three days a week, the least I can do is try to make them the days she's at work anyway."

It was a surprisingly long soliloquy, and clearly earnest.  "I appreciate that, Kim," he said, clearing his throat. "I'm sorry, I was a little sharp with you just now."

"It's okay," she said. "I...should have checked. I should've realised having people meddle in your private life would feel...especially uncomfortable now."

Lucas nodded. "You know you can call me Lucas and talk to me informally at any point," he said, not for the first time.

"No, Chief, that wouldn't be right," and there was his PA back again, looking aghast at the prospect of informality. "Anyway, sir, you have a quick meeting this morning with Josh and Mallory from PR, then you need to go to SPD to give a formal statement to the financial crimes officers, then you have the address to the Academy grads, then a meeting about the former Captain Johns back here at HQ, then a couple of hours for paperwork, then the last-minute meeting with Chong." 

"How bad is the paperwork situation?" he asked wearily.

"You've done well," Kim said apologetically. "Looking at this you're probably only four days behind now." She narrowed her eyes accusingly as she gestured at the pile of paperwork he had handed her. "Vic had this weekend off."

"Vic had a busy shift on Friday, and slept for a good chunk of Saturday," Lucas retorted, narrowing his eyes back at her, before turning and entering his office. Kim had already logged in for him, so he pulled up his email and worked through the inbox. (He was slowly whittling it down; having had Kim automatically remove anything marked PR or media from his main inbox).

"Chief," Mallory knocked on the door, and Lucas gestured for her and Josh to take a seat.

"I hope I was clear that our position hasn't changed on interviews," Lucas said sternly to the two of them. Josh squirmed, clearly aware that he had narrowly escaped being yelled at on the Saturday.

"Yes sir," he mumbled like a child being summoned to the principal's office.

"At any rate, sir, the media coverage is far more positive. The firefighters from 88 that were involved in the house fire on Saturday were interviewed in the hospital, and they were very appreciative that you dropped by and-"

"Hang on, why were injured firefighters being interviewed? That's always been something we discourage -" Lucas started sharply.

"They volunteered," Mallory held her ground, pausing before adding, "Chief, they _wanted_ to and they said those things about you off their own accord."

Lucas wasn't sure how to feel about that. His old crew he knew were sympathetic, but he hadn't worked with Kruger or Wayne, and they had no reason to back him.

"And the story about Captain Johns was balanced by Captains Sullivan and Rogers who reported that he'd made very offensive remarks," Josh added.

Lucas sighed. "The PR department is for the SFD," he said. "Not me. My reputation -"

"We're not going to let it be trashed," Mallory said firmly, blushing when he looked at her in surprise at her interruption. "Look, I don't know Hughes well, but she's pretty ..."

"Awesome?" Josh offered.

"And you're a good boss," Mallory said shyly.

There was a pause. "I don't know what to say to that," Lucas admitted gruffly. "But can we please try and keep any stories this week about the SFD and our record as a department?"

"Sir," they stood, leaving Lucas alone with his thoughts. He sighed, pulling up the presentation for the Academy grads.

* * *

 Lucas was good at public speaking. He always had been. He didn't get nervous in front of a group (although put him _in_ a group and he was sometimes a little awkward - a benefit of being Chief was now that people ascribed any awkwardness to _themselves_ ). So he was surprised to realise how nervous he was today, knowing that the Academy grads would all know about Vic. 

He hated the fact that complete strangers knew about something so  _personal_ and  _important_.

Sloane finished introducing him, and there was no more time to think about it, so he went up to the podium.

"Good afternoon," he said, smiling at the room. He couldn't actually make out any faces due to the lights shining on the stage. "I'm Chief Lucas Ripley, but unfortunately, I suspect you all probably know who I am already."

A nervous titter rose through the crowd, to his relief. Lucas had decided the best option was to just acknowledge the issue head-on.

"You've all done incredibly well to get here, to get through the Academy, and now you're ready to take that next step into the field. Being an active firefighter and EMT - nothing can prepare you for it. It's an incredible career, but it's also a difficult one. It's been a while since I was in the Academy, so I asked my partner, Victoria, what she wished someone had told her when she left the Academy a few years ago."

The room fell into a fascinated hush.

"The first thing she said, was that she learned quickly that the first thing you need to do when you reach a scene is take a breath, take your own pulse. There's no emergency that's so urgent that you can't take a moment to breath, and think. And that's true; I've always done that as well - taken a deep breath and a moment to look at the situation, acknowledge it's stressful, and then get on with managing it."

"The second thing is that people will die. That's okay. And to know that your teammates will all react differently to that. Some cry, some get angry - please punch a punching bag if you get angry - and some people go for a drink. Just be aware of how you react, and make sure that it's not too unhealthy."

"The third thing was that you should be prepared to learn. Everyone does things slightly differently; see what works for you. And I completely agree on this; I still learn from every single scene."

"Number four: you'll get orders you won't like, and orders you might disagree with. Take five seconds to think about it from your officer's point of view, before you disagree out loud or you'll end up running drills until five am." He levelled a look at them as they laughed. "I'm going to add this: unless an order is unsafe, obey it. Ask for an explanation, but then follow the order - and if your officer says there's no time, follow the order and ask again later. If it's an evacuate order, evacuate, no questions asked."

"The fifth and sixth things are very practical, and Vic said that if you take nothing else away from what I say today, remember this: if someone offers you a bottle of water, the only answer is yes. And if you think you need to go to the toilet, or even that you  _might_ need to go to the toilet, go." He sighed, smiling wryly. "I quote: "preventative urination is totally a thing; and that way when you get back home or to the station you don't have to join in the mad rush and risk queueing to pee.""

A roar of laughter went up, and Lucas grinned. "I'll also add to this - men, if you're having to wait for a urinal, please don't go outside on SFD property." Another roar of laughter followed.

"So that's her advice. The only thing I have to add - and nobody  _ever_ seems to take me up on it - is that I have an open door policy on Wednesday afternoons. If there's something you want to discuss, you can drop in after 2pm on a Wednesday, no appointment needed. There's also a peer group on Wednesday evenings at the civic centre from 1800, which I recommend you attend if you're finding it difficult to put a situation behind you. You don't have to talk; a lot of people take several visits before they feel comfortable sharing."

He paused, took a sip of water, before moving forward out from behind the podium, unbuttoning his jacket, and checking his watch before sitting on the edge of the stage. The lights were focussed behind him, and out of their glare, he could actually see the grads sitting formally in their dress blues.

"I've got fifteen minutes," he said in his scene voice, which he knew carried through the room easily. "Any questions?"

There was a momentary pause, before a tentative hand was raised in the front row. Lucas nodded to them. 

"Go ahead," he said kindly.

"Any tips on managing twenty-four hour shifts, sir?" asked the rookie.

"Everyone has a different strategy; experiment with a few. I personally think it's important to have a schedule - keep muesli bars or something in your pockets so that if you get called out during a meal you can have a quick bite on the way to the scene - it makes you think better. If you magically get a night where you're not called, the next day can be a normal day. If you get called out at night; which is most of the time; then the next day is a grey day and I advocate doing as little as possible on those days. Certainly don't drive - you're a danger if you're tired. I have a friend who's the exact opposite; he cycles like mad on a grey day even if it was a busy shift. I find too much exercise when I'm really sleep deprived makes me want to throw up."

A few more hands went up as he finished answering. "You, at the back, make sure to be loud."

It was about his favourite bit of gear, and Lucas paused before replying. "My suggestion is, don't spend your money yet - you guys don't have any to spend. Start working. See what bits of kit your colleagues have and ask about them before you purchase anything."

The next question was, "what was your biggest scene?"

Lucas paused. "Last year when I was asked this, the question that immediately followed was what the toughest call I've ever made was. So I'm going to answer them together." He took a deep breath; no matter how many times he'd talked about it - with his therapist, with his sister, with Vic, in public - it was still difficult to say. "I was in Manhattan on holiday during 9/11. I'd just graduated from the Academy. I found an engine, told them I was a rookie with SFD, and they handed me a dead man's turnouts and I went into the North Tower."

The room was silent.

"That's the biggest scene I've been to. With the SFD," he took another breath. "Last year, my answer was the ferry. This year, it is the skyscraper from late last year; I'm sure you all heard about it. It was a big scene for a few reasons; we had lots of civilians still in the building, explosives on the fourth floor, and a bottleneck in the streets around making it difficult to get patients out to the hospitals - despite SPD's help in rerouting traffic. For me, it was also a big scene because obviously it reminded me of 9/11 and I was very aware that the building had the potential to just collapse."

That's as much as he could bear to say.

"The toughest call is now also from that scene," he felt a prickle of guilt return. "I left an entire engine company and ladder company inside that building when we evacuated, along with a floor of civilians. I did not mount a rapid intervention team. I did not make a plan to safely evacuate them. My plan was to have the engineers assess the building prior to anything else being done inside - relying on civilians and half a dozen firefighters to make it out under their own steam."

"We nearly lost two firefighters," he knew he sounded choked, but powered through. "We lost ten civilians. But it was the right call. I'm going to appropriate a saying from M*A*S*H, a show you are all way too young for," he forced a smile. " _Rule number one is firefighters die. Rule number two is that you can't change rule number one."_

He paused to let that sink in.

"That's true, but I'll add a caveat. Rule number two is you can't change rule number one, but you can minimise how many die. That's why we have such a focus on safety. That's why we teach you to self-extricate. I can't send a RIT into a collapsing building that's not contained - that's a surefire way to lose not just those in need of the RIT, but the RIT itself. The only thing worse than one dead firefighter is two dead firefighters."

The room was somber, so Lucas summoned another smile, and said, "any more questions? Preferably something light-hearted?"

"What's your favourite drink?" asked someone up the back. The tension broke, and a titter went through the room.

"Beer," he replied. "Which type depends on what I'm eating with it."

"Favourite team?"

"Which sport? I probably watch cricket the most, so I'll say the Australian cricket team," he said. "Otherwise, the Thunderbirds. Nothing like a bit of ice hockey to balance out our particular line of work."

"Any relationship advice?"

There was a sharp intake of breath around the room, and Lucas forced himself to smile patiently.

"Should've prepared myself for  _that_ question," he joked. "Keeping relationships going outside the SFD is gonna be tough. Police, firefighters, EMTs, nurses, doctors; we all have unique jobs with unique stresses compared to the general population. If your loved ones aren't in those professions, they won't understand; can't understand. The key to making it work is the same as anything - communication and time. And apologise if you've had a bad shift and you're in a bad mood. That's why we have the peer support group - to debrief within our community with people who understand, instead of taking it home."

He took a breath. "If you're talking about within your station, with another firefighter, don't. Just don't. I've seen it destroy teams. If really you want to pursue that kind of relationship, be sure. Be very sure. And tell HR. There's no demerits if you declare an intent to start a relationship - we'll just split you up across different stations or different shifts. There  _are_ demerits if you start a relationship and the department finds out later. And if you think you don't want to leave your station - then you don't want the relationship enough and I would say again: don't." 

Lucas hesitated. "And if you want to talk about relationships within the chain of command, then again, I would say as a general rule it's a bad idea unless you're a hundred percent sure. And again, tell HR beforehand. You'll get moved out of the chain of command." He hesitated again, but this was important. "I realise that I'm probably sounding hypocritical at the moment, but power dynamics are important, and you need to consider that. Some of you will end up in command positions, and you need to make sure the consent you're getting is valid and free from coercion. Next question."

He was more than a little relieved when the last two questions were softballs, one on percentage of EMT vs fire calls, and the other on career progression. He ended the session by telling them he'd see them at their graduation ceremony on Friday, and walked off-stage.

"Jesus fuck," said Captain Sloane, looking at Lucas with a new level of respect. "That took balls, Chief."

Lucas gave her a tight smile. "You said you got good feedback after last year's Q&A session," he said. "And I think it's the best way to get the word out about the peer support group. We both know good men who've killed themselves."

Sloane's eyes narrowed. "That's not what I'm talking about but sure. See you Friday, sir."

Lucas nodded back at her, before leaving.

* * *

He'd stopped on the way back from the Academy to buy a cup of the strongest coffee in Seattle, bracing himself for the upcoming meeting. 

"Should  _you_ even be here?" Marks asked upon seeing him, belatedly tacking on, " _Chief_."

"We're replacing a captain," Lucas replied as evenly as he could. "We need to look through the incinerator results from the last round, and make a decision."

"A decent captain who was fired because of your girlfriend," Marks pointed out.

"Johns was mediocre at best and he was a -" Frankel began as she moved to her seat.

"Let's wait till the meeting starts before tearing each other's throats out," Lucas interrupted. He fixed Marks with a look. "I was not on the scene. I didn't find out until hours later. And the decision of who takes Johns' place is _absolutely_ within my remit as the Chief of this fire department."

"Sir," Marks ground out.

When they were all assembled, Lucas opened the meeting.

"We're here to discuss replacing Captain Johns at 44," he said simply. 

"First I think we need to talk about how Captain Johns was just fired on the spot, completely inappropriately," Marks argued, fixing first him, then Frankel with a glare.

"Johns has received multiple warnings about the use of inappropriate and offensive language in the workplace," Frankel said coldly, and Lucas had to hide his amusement at the thought of her criticising someone else for inappropriate language. "Moreover, he has in the past attended sensitivity training and anti-bullying training. Frankly, I'm surprised that a man with his history of offensive behaviour managed to make it so far in the SFD. He was completely out of line with what he was saying at the scene, actively harassing a junior firefighter."

"And we're all supposed to pretend that the fact that it was Ripley's piece of -"

"De Vrietz, I've warned you once," Lucas said softly, and the other man recoiled.

"The point stands, no matter how poorly made," Allen, another conservative, said with a distasteful glance at De Vrietz. "Johns was mediocre. He's got a poor track record. I actually don't give a flying darn that he was fired - my concern is in how it was done; unilaterally, on the scene. Battalion Chiefs don't have that kind of power."

"I asked Robyn from HR to be present to clarify any issues about my ability to fire him," Frankel said pleasantly with a dangerous smile. "I dismissed him from the scene because I felt his words were actively stirring conflict, disrupting morale, and given I was going to fire him - there was no point in sending him back to the station to cool his heels rather than firing him there."

"You're right, Battalion Chief Allen, this is a relatively unique situation," Robyn spoke up. "Under normal circumstances, this would require the Chief or whomever he delegated to dismiss a captain. However, this power was explicitly given to Battalion Chief Frankel under condition two of the HR findings into the relationship between Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes. From the formal reports submitted by Battalion Chief Frankel and Captains Sullivan and Rogers, this incident was clearly centred around Firefighter Hughes, and Battalion Chief Frankel was therefore well within her right to dismiss him unilaterally." She paused. "I would say, however, that without the former Captain Johns' long history of misogyny, sexism, and harassment, this would be a contestable decision and I have cautioned Battalion Chief Frankel about the use of this power."

"Was there a reason that condition to didn't simply require that the Chief delegate this responsibility to a third party?" Allen persisted.

"Because that would technically be a delegation of the Chief's power, rather than an investiture of a separate power," Robyn replied. "It's complicated, but in the Handbook, section -"

Allen waved his hand. "I just think that it should involve more than one person, particularly given that Hughes' Battalion Chief is ... sympathetic."

"Yes, sympathetic to the rights of women to not be harassed in the workplace," Frankel cut in with a glare.

"What would you suggest, Allen?" Lucas asked directly.

"Invest the ACO position with the oversight power the Chief normally has," the other man replied. "Under normal circumstances, if someone ranked lower than lieutenant needed dismissing, a captain would come to us and we would dismiss them. Captain and above, we make the recommendation, and you would dismiss them. Hughes is so lowly ranked that I don't see why we've cut out a second tier if we're talking about dismissing captains for disciplinary -"

"It was probably an oversight on our behalf," Robyn cut in. "We did not make allowances for people ranked above lieutenant to be providing this level of harassment." She winced. "It was clearly short-sighted." 

"So you mean, captain or above, Frankel refers them to me, and I dismiss or not based on her recommendation?" asked Diaz. Allen nodded. "That's not...unreasonable," Diaz conceded. "No other Battalion Chief can dismiss such a high rank unilaterally."

"This would require both Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes to agree to a new agreement," Robyn said, tapping her fingers against the table. "And actually, the SFD can't force that requirement - unlike the initial agreement, we would have no grounds to discipline either of them further if they chose not to agree to it."

"That makes no sense," De Vrietz snorted.

"The agreement protects the SFD, but also enshrines certain protections for them," Robyn answered simply. "It would be unfair to not provide them with some stability."

"Well, Chief?" Allen asked.

"I don't have a concern with making it consistent," Lucas allowed. "The ACO is the obvious person to delegate it to."

"Can we just make the adjustment now then?" asked Marks.

"Hughes needs to agree to it too," Frankel objected.

"Ripley can get her to agree," Allen said dismissively.

Lucas snorted, while Diaz laughed outright.

"You haven't met Hughes, Allen," Diaz chuckled. "She's almost as stubborn as Frankel."

"No I absolutely can't, and even if I could, I wouldn't," Lucas agreed firmly. "Vic makes her own choices. That being said, I doubt she'd take issue with it."

"I don't see the point in delaying this change," said De Vrietz, leaning forward. "It's not right Frankel has such power. Particularly given there's no stipulation as to what should happen if this person in another battalion."

Everyone turned to look at Lucas, and he felt even more uncomfortable. "She's on shift," he said, pulling out his phone. "I'll talk to Sullivan, see if she's out on a call."

"Oh for fuck's sake, no call's important enough to need some basic firefighter -" Marks began, and Lucas levelled him with a stern look.

"Actually," he said with a tight smile. "I'm simply abiding by condition six; our relationship cannot impede, distract from or otherwise impact either of our duties." He could see Robyn hide a smile.

"That's absolutely correct," Robyn said blandly. "Interrupting her duties now is a clear violation of condition six as this issue is directly related to their relationship."

"Sullivan," Lucas greeted. "Ripley."

"Chief. What can I do for you?" Sullivan asked guardedly.

"We're currently discussing a potential change to the HR conditions thrown up by a disagreement over whether Battalion Chief Frankel should have been given the power to unilaterally dismiss such a high ranking officer last week," Lucas summarised. "Is Hughes available?"

"She's on a call, so no," Sullivan replied. "But they are apparently about to leave the scene."

"Well, as per condition six, can you ask her to return my call when there are no outstanding duties?" Lucas asked, and at that, he could see Frankel hide a snort in her coffee.

"Sure," Sullivan replied slowly. "Are you sitting in the middle of a political shitfight?"

"Yes," Lucas replied.

"And you don't want to talk to Hughes while they all watch you?" his old friend asked shrewdly.

"Correct."

He could practically hear the roll of the eyes over the phone. "Fine. Will an hour or two of 'outstanding duties' do?"

"Probably the latter. Appreciate you passing on the message, Sullivan."

"Talk to you later, Rip," came the reply before they both hung up.

"On a call," Lucas said to the room, placing his phone on the desk. "So, given no-one has raised a concern with the actual dismissal of Johns, merely the manner in which it was done, and given HR have no concerns about his dismissal from their point of view, let's move onto a suitable replacement."

"Looking back through the recent round," Price said, leafing through a couple of pieces of paper in front of him. "Gibson from 19 had the best incinerator score, and did well on his exam. There's three lieutenants at 19 at present, which is unnecessary."

"Gibson would have been an ideal pick, but he's just come off four months of medical leave," Lucas replied, somewhat reluctantly. "I'd rather give him time to readjust properly before we throw him into a new station with rank. The next opening, I'd favour him."

"I agree," Frankel said with clear disappointment. "Gibson will be the next promoted, but not this time. Seeing him on the scene last week; he's performing well as a lieutenant, but he is clearly still finding his feet."

"Is this why there's three lieutenants at 19?" queried Marks pointedly. "The plan, I thought, was to move Bishop to 23."

"Sullivan thinks Gibson needs more time," Lucas said. "Gibson's a fine officer. He deserves the support of the SFD, and in this situation, that means keeping his situation as stable as possible according to his medical report. I don't care whether we move Bishop or Herrera out of 19, but I'm prepared to move either out when Sullivan thinks he can manage with Gibson."

"Right," Marks said blandly.

"Here's the three best options," Lucas said, ignoring Marks. "Houssein from 12 who with Lopez from 88 were equal second in the Incinerator after Gibson and performed well on the written, or promote from within, with O'Reilly."

"I'd prefer new blood over O'Reilly, to be honest," Frankel said. "He was middle of the pack on the incinerator although he did well on the written. I'd like to see what he could do at the next incinerator trials."

"I agree," said Allen, reluctantly. "I saw O'Reilly a few weeks ago when I was called to the scene. I was underwhelmed."

"88's two firefighters down with injuries after the weekend," said Ramirez, the Battalion Chief for 88. "I'd rather not disrupt them by taking Lopez away."

"Houssein it is then," Lucas said. "Unless there are any other suggestions? The advantage of promoting Houssein is also that - god, what's her name, Ramirez?"

"Tate," Ramirez said. "She's an excellent candidate for lieutenant."

"I think we should be aiming to promote from within to captain, and move people for lieutenant spots," O'Malley interjected. "Not specifically this instance, but as a general rule. I'd rather the lower rank was associated with that change of station, rather than moving people so they had to deal with being a captain and a new station simultaneously."

"Makes sense," Lucas concurred. "But Frankel and Allen agree O'Reilly's not suited, and their other lieutenant is only a few months into the job."

"As I said, not this particular instance," O'Malley said calmly. "But for future."

Lucas nodded. "Okay. Anything else? No, good."

He ignored the glares he received from some of the conservative faction; namely De Vrietz and Marks.

Price stopped by his seat. "You don't think we can't see this positive discrimination? Houssein? Really?"

"He was in the top 5% on the written exam," Lucas replied evenly, stacking his papers back in his bag neatly. "And with Lopez, equal on the incinerator. Gibson's not ready."

Price rolled his eyes. "Sure. Whatever,  _Chief_. At least we've whittled away at Frankel's power."

"We're done, Price," Lucas said shortly, standing and sliding his bag over his shoulders. "If you feel the need to further discuss your outdated views on the importance of our officers' health, race, and gender, feel free to book an appointment with Kim."

He wasn't normally that catty, but he could feel his patience fraying at the edges, simply turning and walking away.

* * *

 

Lucas' day was not improved by the presence of Pruitt Herrera in Kim's office when he got back.

"Pruitt," he greeted.

"Ripley," the older man said. "A word?"

"I've already explained you're fully scheduled -" Kim began.

"Make it quick," Lucas cut over her. "In my office." Herrera walked in, and Lucas glanced at Kim. "Thanks, Kim. This will be quick."

Kim obviously sensed his mood, because she simply nodded. Lucas walked into his office and pulled the door shut.

"Herrera," he said. "What brings you here?"

"Did it happen when you were acting Captain?"

Lucas' eyes narrowed. "You know there was an investigation into this by the HR department which -"

"I don't give a damn about that report," Pruitt replied. "I've known you since you were a rookie. You're clever, clever with words. It's easy to see how a young woman could get swept up by that, and your position -"

"Let's get one thing straight here," Lucas leaned forward, cutting him off. "Are we talking about the same Victoria Hughes I know? Because she's a person who will stand her ground."

"When you manipulate people, they often don't realise and if they do, they don't mind," Pruitt accused softly. "You have a skill at managing people, Lucas Ripley, and Hughes -"

Lucas threw his hands up in the air. "What do you want me to say? That she invited me for a drink? And then she invited me back to hers? And then she kissed me? Because that's what happened, not that it's any of your business, and I'm not going to apologise for not resisting because I regret nothing about our relationship."

"Hughes is young and impulsive. You should've prevented this from happening. Did you even think about anyone but yourself?" Pruitt pressed. "About the repercussions she would face  _because of you_?"

"Did you not think about the repercussions your daughter would face when you, ignoring all protocol, unilaterally promoted her?" Lucas couldn't help but retort.

Pruitt's face went red. "She's a good officer!"

"She wasn't quite ready. She stepped up admirably, but  _you know_ that people say that she only got promoted because of her dad," Lucas said. "I'd say how is that any different, but it's different in that Vic has not at all benefited professionally from our relationship."

" _You_ trashed Hughes' reputation," Pruitt accused.

"Vic and I discussed what _we_ wanted to do because we love each other and want to be able to be with each other," Lucas said coldly. "We couldn't keep each other a secret any more. You promoted your daughter to keep 19 in the family."

Pruitt glared at him, opening his mouth.

"I'm not going to be lectured by you, Herrera," Lucas said with a note of finality. "You can see yourself out." He looked down at his desk, focussing on the report in front of him. Pruitt stood for a few more moments staring at him, before turning and leaving, slamming the door so hard the door-frame wobbled.

Lucas grabbed the rubber stress ball off his desk and hurled it at the closed door after him, "fuck!"

He liked Pruitt. Respected the man. But right now, he couldn't bear the hypocrisy. He'd reluctantly let the his daughter go to the same station (she was at the top of the academy class, and that person always got the station of their pick), and given she was potentially officer material Lucas hadn't wanted to undo the promotion. But the older man had no right to lecure Lucas about professionalism.

Lucas sighed, trying to calm himself down. Chong wanted to debrief about the call on the weekend, and he knew he'd need to be calm to do that for the younger man.


	18. Secrets

"Hughes," Sullivan called her over just as she was heading up to start dinner, so she detoured to his office. "Um. The Chief called earlier -"

Her heart immediately sank, worry setting in automatically. He must've seen it in her face, because he raised a hand. "Doesn't sound too serious. There's some...political wrangling going on over Johns being fired last week - more about whether or not Battalion Chief Frankel could have or should have fired him without consultation. They apparently want to make some changes, and he asked for you to call him back."

"Okay, thanks," Vic said, and he gave her a nod, dismissing her. She headed out of his office, and decided to call him from the locker room, which at this time was pretty reliably empty as everyone was either hurriedly finishing their chores or relaxing in the dayroom.

So she didn't exactly expect to find Maya, shirt undone, pressed up against the lockers by Jack, making out. Maya was reaching for his belt, while Jack's hands were firmly on her ass.

"Oh, um, sorry," she said automatically, stepping out and slamming the door. She stared at the closed door for a moment, needing to process.

"Vic!" she heard Jack call, and the door was wrenched open. Maya was hastily redoing her shirt behind him. "Vic, wait."

Vic remained still, looking at their flushed faces and sighed.

"Vic, we can explain  _all -_ " Maya began.

"Don't," Vic held up a hand, smiling bitterly. "I'm not in a position to demand explanations or judge."

"Please don't tell him," Jack begged.

Vic rolled her eyes. "Lucas has enough on his plate right now," she said. She knew she should walk away, go upstairs and call him from the little balconey there, but she had to ask, "just...is this why Andy's been so angry lately?"

They both winced, and Vic nodded again. "Okay. Um. You know, this works better if you lock the door?" with that she turned, walking away as briskly as she could without obviously running away. She headed upstairs, turning the oven on and stepping outside.

He answered on the first ring, sounding angry. "Hey."

"Hi," she replied.

His tone softened as he said, "everything okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You sound...I don't know. Off."

"Well, Sullivan worried me when he said you'd called," Vic said. It wasn't  _untrue_ , exactly.

"Sorry," he replied. "Look, don't worry too much about the politics of this. HR probably did overlook it as a concept - Frankel technically under the letter of our relationship agreement is able to fire people on the spot - and in no other situation does a Bat Chief have that power. So the Chiefs meeting today to discuss who was replacing Johns requested HR amend our agreement to say that Frankel needs to refer disciplinary action to the ACO - Diaz, at the moment."

"When you say 'don't worry too much about the politics of this', what exactly do you mean?" Vic asked suspiciously.

He sighed. "They're trying to minimise Frankel's influence over your career and test out how far they can push amendments to our relationship agreement. Robyn from HR was very clear with them that we are not obligated to agree - this would be voluntary on our part and a show of good faith."

"You think we should agree?" Vic asked. "I don't like the precedent of them changing our conditions."

"I'm not too keen on that either," Lucas said tiredly. "But, to be fair, I think they have a point. No other Battalion Chief would be able to unilaterally dismiss anyone. Diaz and I don't always agree, but he's a good man."

"What about the next ACO?" Vic asked. 

"What about your next Battalion Chief?" he countered. "I think a two person system protects you more."

"Good point," Vic said. They were quiet for a moment. 

"So we agree?" Lucas checked.

"Yeah. I guess," Vic replied with a sigh.

"You sure everything's okay?" Lucas asked quietly.

"It's just...we were both hot, single, and down for it. I feel like this shouldn't be this hard," Vic complained.

"Yeah, I know," Lucas sighed. "Trust me. I know."

"Do they want me to go in after tomorrow's shift or something to sign it?" she asked ungraciously.

"Not sure. I'll find out and let you know."

"Okay. I better go start dinner."

"Okay, I love you, Vic."

"Love you too, Scruffy." Vic hung up, trying not to feel bad for not telling him as she cooked dinner. It wasn't like he was the person she should report Jack and Maya to any way. And while she didn't want to be too much of a hypocrite, she did feel there was a difference between her and Lucas and Jack and Maya. Lucas, after all, would rarely be on a scene with her anyway, and would never be directly supervising her. Jack and Maya on the other hand worked together directly on a daily basis.

This time, during dinner, it was Maya who wouldn't meet her eye. Vic sighed again, feeling suddenly exhausted. That feeling wasn't helped when, after dinner, as she was sitting back with a cup of tea, Captain Herrera entered.

"Dad, hi!" Andy greeted as she and Dean started to gather the plates from the table.

"Hello, hello," Captain Herrera greeted with an affable smile, helping himself to a cup of tea and sitting down at the table. "How is the shift going so far?"

Vic stared into her tea cup as the rest of the team chatted comfortably with him, unable to shake the memory of what Andy had said last week about Lucas.

"How about you, Hughes?" he asked. "How are you?"

Vic flashed him a sweet smile. "Great, sir."

He regarded her for a long moment and Vic held his gaze. "You know, I've been around a while, Hughes, and one thing I've learned is that men in power never get there without -"

"I'm actually not terribly interested in looking at career progression right now," Vic cut him off blandly. "I'm quite happy with my job, and it's too early to look at all that stuff."

"That's not what I'm talking about -"

"I know, but I really don't feel like talking about my personal life right now, so, let's leave it at that, sir," Vic said.

"Hughes, I'm just concerned for you," he said paternally. "I'd like to think of myself as a father figure to you all -"

"You don't need to be concerned about me," Vic pushed her chair back, and stood. "And I haven't needed a father figure for the past twenty years. Why would I need one now? With all due respect, Captain, I don't need or want your advice, your concern, or your judgement, okay?"

She took advantage of his momentary stunned silence to move swiftly over to the sink, dumping the mostly-full cup of tea with hands that shook with anger and frustration. Vic put it in the dishwasher, and headed to her bunkroom.

* * *

 

"You know, they're really good together," Montgomery said quietly as Pruitt watched Vic storm out. "They just - they make each other smile. And that's the second time a Herrera's made her feel so uncomfortable she walks away like that."

"The last thing she needs is other people judging her, sir," Warren chimed in. "What she needs is our support, for us to be the group of people that want to talk to her and not  _about_ her."

Pruitt set his jaw. "Relationships within the chain of command shouldn't happen," he said flatly. "There's a power -"

"She knows, okay," Montgomery exclaimed. "They're both aware of that. Reminding her doesn't help."

"More to the point, sir, what exactly will we achieve now? It's done. She's signed like a million pages of waivers and conditions to be with him," Gibson said quietly. "Best thing we can do now is just be there for her regardless of what happens with Ripley."

" _Not_ making her feel like shit," Montgomery added.

"Dad," Andrea said quietly. "She loves him."                           

Pruitt looked around the table, at their set expressions, and sighed, getting up from the table himself. "I'm glad to see you're supporting her," was all he could say. "Don't think for a second that I don't support her. I just don't support  _him_. I'll see you all later." He headed down the corridor himself.

Sullivan hadn't been in his office when Pruitt had passed by on his way in, but the light was on now and he was sitting at his desk, eating his dinner.

"Sullivan," Pruitt knocked on the door.

"Captain Herrera, come in," the younger man greeted him, waving at a seat. "What can I do for you?"

"I assume you knew about Hughes and Ripley," Pruitt asked sharply. Sullivan nodded slowly. "Captains are supposed to protect their teams -"

"That's precisely what I told him when he told me about her," Sullivan interrupted evenly. 

"You didn't report him," Pruitt accused.

"No. How would letting the department know that she was having an affair with the Chief protect her?" Sullivan asked sharply. "I've known Luke a long time. He's not the type to take advantage -"

"He's in a position of power," Pruitt argued. "He's inherently taking advantage.  _His_ decisions are what's relevant, not hers. He shouldn't have encouraged anything!"

"Hughes may be many things, but a damsel in distress she isn't," Sullivan said. "Her decisions are _very_ relevant. As are their feelings. They love each other. What were they supposed to do?"

"He wasn't supposed to -"

"You and I have both been in love," Sullivan interrupted quietly. "It's not exactly rational, or proper."

"This is all just so rushed. How well can they know each other? And now they're all over the news," Pruitt sighed.

"How well did you know your wife before you knew? I knew the moment I saw Claire," Sullivan replied. "And it only grew from there."

"Well, forgive me if I don't put much stock in a twice-divorced man -" Pruitt began.

"He and Laura were barely twenty-one when they got married. They were practically children. And 9/11 did a number on both of them, they were both there," Sullivan defended. "A lot of marriages didn't survive that. And he and Eva were wrong from the start, Rip acknowledges that now, and I think deep down he knew it at the time. And none of that means he doesn't deserve to be happy."

"But she's half his age -"

"What do you want from me?" Sullivan asked in exasperation. "I get it, you disapprove. That's up to you. I very much doubt your disapproval's going to do a damn thing except make her feel like you're not on her side. So I guess it's up to you whether you're going to support her or be like most of the rest of the department and judge her." He looked back down to his meal.

"These people are like my kids," Pruitt said softly, protectively.

"My mom didn't want me to be a firefighter; thought it was too dangerous, still does. But what she said to me was, 'Bobby, I might not like it, but I support you. I always have and I always will'," he shrugged. "Try thinking about it like that. And maybe you won't alienate Hughes - which, if you actually care about her - you won't want to do."

* * *

 

There was a knock at the door, and Vic looked up from the page that she'd reread a half a dozen times. [She liked the book she'd stolen from Lucas' bedside table, but right now, she was too distracted to enjoy it]. 

"Yeah?" she called, and the door handle turned.

"Can I come in?" asked Captain Herrera.

"Depends on whether you're going to continue to criticise me or not," Vic said pointedly.

"Look, I meant what I said. I think of you all as a second family. I'd like to think you all could view me as a father figure if you wanted," he said carefully, stepping into the room and closing the door, hovering next to the shelf. "I may not have come across right with what I said before, though."

Vic shrugged. "I don't care who approves or disapproves," she said.

"I don't quite think that's true," he said kindly. Vic looked down, jaw working. "What I should have said earlier is that I support  _you_ , and you can always come to me."

Vic looked up at him. "I appreciate that," she said carefully. "But if you support me, don't talk Lucas down ever again. He is a good man, and he's done nothing wrong, and I love him. Supporting me means accepting the fact that he is ... he is  _really_  important..." she hesitated, but then shook her head and looked her former captain in the eye. "He's  _the_ most important person in my life."

Captain Herrera's jaw worked but he nodded. "You can always come to me, Hughes, if you need," he repeated.

"Thanks, sir," Vic said, smiling tightly at him. He took the hint, and simply nodded before leaving.

Vic looked back at her book, the cold ball of anger, hurt and fatigue that felt like it was constantly in her chest these days feeling no smaller than before. _At least it isn't bigger_ , she thought.

She pushed everything into a tighter ball, and refocussed on her book. _Mark Watney. Duct tape_. Vic only managed to read another page before there was another knock on the door.

"Yeah?" she said again, wishing it would be Lucas even though she knew it wouldn't - and couldn't - be, and feeling angry at herself for being so needy.

"Hey, got a minute?" Maya's face appeared around the door. Vic shrugged back, closing her book over her thumb to keep her place marked.

"What's up?" she asked. Maya entered the room, closing the door behind her and taking a seat on the end of Vic's bunk.

"Look," she said after a moment, twisting her hands together. "I guess it must have been a surprise."

 Vic shrugged. "Sort of?" she replied. She eyed her friend before adding, "to be honest, I always thought you liked him. And you two were flirting the other week."

Bishop flushed. "Well," she said, glancing away. "You were the angry one when the team found out about Jack and Andy. Yet you've barely said a word about us."

"I'm quite aware it would be hypocritical," Vic replied.

Maya gave an impatient snort. "Vic, I've been needing to talk to someone about this. It's been...I've got so many feelings about all of it."

"And you can't talk to Andy," Vic said. "Well, it's not like I can't remember feeling I couldn't talk to anyone."

"Who did you talk to?" Maya asked.

"Lucas," Vic replied honestly. "And I journalled. More recently, Travis, since he found out." She paused. "I tried talking to Gibson, and _that_ went terribly."

Maya laughed. "Yeah. We don't ... talk, exactly." She looked a little sheepish.

"I'm not thrilled," Vic said honestly after an awkward moment of silence. "I think there's a bit of a difference between me and Lucas who never work directly together, and you and Gibson, who do. I don't like how Andy seems to be - she seems upset about it. And I don't want to actively keep things from Lucas." She took a deep breath, "having said all that, what you do on your own time is your own business. You're both consenting adults. I hope that didn't sound too hypocritical."

"No," Maya said. "It didn't." She hesitated. "It started after the train -"

"I didn't ask," Vic interrupted quickly. "You don't have to justify -"

"I know but I want to tell you. I think it was just we'd been in a confined space, we'd had to deal with everything together, we both could've gotten really sick, he's kind of annoyingly handsome and charming and he's had a really rough time after the skyscraper and he's tried really hard to get better and I care about him," Maya said in a rush.

"Care about him, or  _care_ about him?" Vic asked shrewdly.

"I don't know!" Maya exclaimed, almost hysterically.

"Okay, okay," Vic said quickly.

"What do I - what do you think?" Maya asked.

"Oh boy," Vic muttered under her breath. "Well, I mean, is this a thing or a _thing_? Are you guys just going to hook up for a while, be casual, and then break up at the first hint of someone getting transferred out?" She tried not to directly compare it to Andy and Jack.

Maya picked up on it anyway. "Like Andy did?" she said. Vic shrugged and nodded. "No? I don't know?"

"I think you need to talk to him," Vic said gently. "Work out what page you're on, now, before there's any trouble. If you're catching feelings and he isn't - do you want to continue? If you're both catching feelings, do you want to stay a secret? Being a secret is hard.  _Can_ you stay a secret?"

"I don't ... dating's not really a thing I do -"

"Just because it's not a thing you  _did_ doesn't mean it can't become something you do, if you want to," Vic said. She hesitated before adding, "before I met Lucas I didn't think I was ready to settle down."

"How did you know?" Maya asked.

It felt weird to be able to talk about it all honestly, but it kind of felt...liberating. "It was a process," Vic said honestly. "I think I realised that's where we were heading when we had a really big, nasty fight, and Travis started to talk like we were breaking up and the thought of breaking up with him hadn't occurred to me."

"Is that when you realised you loved him?" she asked shyly.

"No, I knew I loved him earlier than that, but that's when...that's when I started to think that he might well be," Vic blushed. "The love of my life."

"The _one_?"

Vic could hear the scepticism in the lieutenant's voice. "Well, yeah. I never believed in that whole thing before I met Lucas, and I don't know that I believe that there's only one person for everyone but he's _my_ one - the one I choose."

Maya was quiet for a moment, and then, blushing a little, asked, "you're not worried about never having sex with anyone else?"

Vic laughed a bit. "No, although I get where you're coming from. He's the best I've ever had, and part of that is he's just _great_  and part of it is he knows me and pays attention to what I like and we sort of ... have the same level of ... like we agree in principle on what we want when it comes to sex."

"You're the same kind of kinky or not," Maya teased, and it was Vic's turn to blush.

"Well, yeah. I mean, there's a security in knowing he'll never want, I don't know, us to have a threesome or something -"

"You're missing out," Maya said with a grin.

"That's the thing," Vic said. "I'm  _not_. He's all I want. Like, now, I see men and can say, yeah, they're attractive, but I don't feel attracted _to_ them. Like how I see women and can see that they're hot but not be interested."

Maya frowned. "I don't feel that way."

"You don't have to," Vic said immediately. "But, like, you two aren't subtle. Or careful if Andy  _and_ I know about it. So I'd say you and Jack need to talk and decide what you'll do when this comes to the surface. Because I can't imagine how difficult it would be trying to work out what you want and what  _he_ wants when you're at that crisis point."

Maya nodded slowly. "Okay. Thanks for the advice. And listening."

"That's okay," Vic said.

Maya smiled at her. "Look at you. So much for, 'ugh, Ripley', or whatever it was you said then." She cocked her head at Vic, "can I ask, out of curiosity, how on earth did it start?"

Vic hesitated before answering, "it was a process. It started with me realising he wasn't some robotic evil overlord at the peer group thing I went to with Travis. He wears really nice sweaters. And we started flirting and then I asked him for a drink, and then the bar was closed, so I suggested we talk at my place."

"And he, what, sort of just followed you home?" she asked.

"Kinda? He was really careful to not suggest anything," Vic said. "I had to kiss him and make it clear that ... anyway, after we slept together he called me and said he really liked me and could we go for coffee and just pretend we didn't work together. And it just kind of snowballed from there."

"I'm sorry if I was weird about it to start with," Maya said.

"Thanks," Vic said. "And I won't tell Lucas."

"Thanks, Vic, I know I appreciate it and I bet Jack does too," Maya patted her leg and stood up. "You gonna come out of your room?"

While Vic felt a little less like needing to just crawl into Lucas' arms and hide there forever, she still didn't really want to go back outside, so she shook her head and held up the book. "It's just getting good."

Maya looked at her for a long moment, but then nodded. "Okay. And thanks again."

* * *

It ended up feeling like the longest shift ever. They were called out in the aid car half a dozen times through the night, and so by the time Vic got home, she felt exhausted. She dozed on and off for the rest of the day, but felt no more rested by the time Lucas walked in the door.

"Hi," he said, standing at the entrance to the lounge, looking as exhausted as she felt.

"Hi. Uber eats okay?"

"I really don't care, whatever," he replied, before moving forward and dropping onto the couch next to her with a sigh. Vic turned, practically crawling into his lap and tucking herself against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on top of her head.

"Rough day?"

"Yeah," she could feel his words vibrate through his chest. "You too hey?"

"Yeah."

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and they sat there for a few long moments. Eventually, his stomach rumbled and they both laughed. Vic reached for her phone. "Indian?"

"Mmm."

She placed their usual order, and then craned her neck to look up at him. "Go shower."

"Stop sitting on me then." He patted her butt affectionately, and Vic sighed melodramatically, kissed his jaw, and clambered off his lap. He stood with a groan, and disappeared into her bedroom.

She already felt better.

They had a subdued dinner, and crawled into bed shortly after. Lucas immediately wrapped himself around her, arm curling around her waist and tugging her tightly against him.

"I love you, sweetheart," he murmured into her ear before kissing her neck.

"I know," she replied. "Lucky me." She fell asleep to the sound of his deep, even breathing.

Vic woke as his phone rang, and groaned as he rolled away from her and out of bed. She turned, rolling into his side of the bed, and dozed for a few hours, before waking again when he came back in, bringing the scent of smoke with him. He rinsed off quickly in her shower before hopping into her side of the bed. Vic immediately turned back over, and Lucas reached for her, pulling her half on top of him and stroking her back.

"All good?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Mmm."

"I love you," she pressed a kiss to his bare chest before drifting back off to sleep.


	19. Respite

When Vic woke up again to the message tone of her phone, Lucas was gone. The text on her phone was from Maya.

 _Up for a run?_  it read.

 _Sure_ , Vic messaged back warily after a few moments of thought. She didn't really like running with Maya - it always ended up being exhausting and, kind of, too much, but she knew the other woman was seeking support.

Support that Vic felt torn about giving. It was hypocritical not to - particularly given Jack had been reprimanded for supporting her - but at the same time she wasn't wild about her three lieutenants being in a love triangle even if she was pretty sure Andy was over Jack, Andy was definitely not over Jack  _and_ Maya and...

And she wanted to tell Lucas. Felt she ought to tell Lucas. They weren't the sort of couple to tell each other everything - his job meant  _that_ couldn't happen - but she didn't want them to actively hide things from each other either.

But Maya was usually a rational person. If she talked to her, maybe she would see that having the three lieutenants at the station in this situation wasn't good. Hopefully.

Vic was ruminating on the best way to talk her around as she got dressed quickly. There was a knock on her door. She opened it, and found Maya on the other side, already sweating from having run over.

"Give me a second to put my shoes on," Vic said, sliding her second sneaker on and quickly doing up the laces.

"I haven't talked to him yet," Maya said. Vic glanced up at her. "I mean, I meant to last night but ..." she blushed.

"Okay," Vic said.

"I also don't really know what to say," Maya said.

"Okay," Vic said, wishing she'd had a chance for a coffee before all this. "Well, what do you want?"

Her friend looked helplessly at her.

"Let's get coffee too," Vic said firmly as the two headed out the door.

"I mean, I want nothing to change except Andy not hating me," Maya said as they jogged. "I want Jack and I to keep being what we are."

"That's not exactly a long-term plan," Vic said gently.

"I know," Maya said sounding frustrated. "But I don't know what my long-term plan is. I don't know that I want a long-term plan. But also, like, Jack was going to  _propose_ to Andy and -"

Vic stopped.

"Sorry.  _WHAT?!_ " she exclaimed.

"Andy said no," Maya said. "She found the ring and said no."

"Oh god. How...when was this?"

"Like...a year ago or so?" Maya winced.

Vic simply shook her head and laughed. "You know, me and Lucas seem less and less complicated."

"Yeah. So. Long term is not really -"

"A possible thing yet," Vic nodded. 

"It's not like you had a long term plan," Maya accused.

"No," Vic admitted freely. "But if we'd been turned in, I would've said to him that if we're facing disciplinary action anyway, we might as well keep seeing each other."

Maya raised an eyebrow. "Even early on?"

"In for a penny, in for a pound," Vic shrugged. "Yeah, right from the start, I think."

The eyebrow climbed. "The sex is  _that_ good?!"

Vic blushed, elected not to answer, and started to jog again. Maya rolled her eyes and started jogging as well, and Vic let her take the lead. She should have been surprised - but wasn't - when they ended up near Dean's place.

"Might as well drop in," Maya said breathlessly.

Vic didn't have the breath to respond, so simply fixed the older woman with a Look. Maya went a little redder, but started towards Dean's anyway.

"We were in the area," Maya said brightly and breathlessly as Dean opened the door. Dean simply grunted, opening the door, and Maya immediately headed in. Dean glanced at Vic, quirking an eyebrow.

Sometimes, Miller could be hard to read. Vic wasn't sure if the eyebrow was because she and Maya had randomly run there, or if the eyebrow was because Dean knew and wanted to know if Vic knew, or if the eyebrow was because Vic was still just standing at his doorstep stupidly.

"Hughes, welcome!" Jack said expansively as Vic stepped into Dean's house. Maya had already helped herself to a glass of water, and was starting to pick grapes from Dean's fruit bowl.

"Morning," Vic said. "Sorry for crashing, Miller."

"Coffee?" Dean replied.

"Dean's only just got up," Jack explained brightly. "I'll take another coffee!" 

Vic wasn't able to get Miller on his own to try to work out whether he did know, or not, and instead the four of them trooped out to the deck with their coffees, dropping into the deckchairs Dean had. She stayed quiet as the other three made light conversation, watching the dynamic.

Yeah, she was pretty sure Dean knew.

"You know the Captain was trying to look out for you," Gibson said, drawing Vic out of her thoughts. She made a face.

"I'm kind of sick of people trying to look out for me without actually listening to me," she said. 

"He left your room just before I came to chat," Maya said, brows drawing together.

"You didn't talk about this on the way here?" Jack asked her.

"We talked about....other things," Maya said, flicking a quick glance at Dean.

"Did he apologise or something? Didn't hear you yelling..." Dean said.

Vic snorted. "He didn't apologise, exactly, but he said he didn't mean to sound like he wasn't being supportive of me," she told them.

"What did you say?" Maya asked.

"I told him that supporting me means supporting us," Vic said. "Or, at the very least, not saying anything negative about him."

"Yemi tells me that the coverage of you two has really started to die down," Dean offered after a moment. Vic breathed a sigh of relief.

"Like, as awkward as it is that she watches that stuff, I'm kind of glad to know where it's at, but I don't want to watch it myself," she said.

"Don't watch it," Jack said immediately. "I've caught bits and pieces and it's made me want to throw the TV in the river."

"Didn't plan on it," Vic said. "I think he just gets updates from PR, but he hates talking about it."

Dean looked at her thoughtfully. Vic raised her eyebrow at him. "What you said before, about being sick of people trying to look out for you," he said. "I hope I didn't offend you by warning him off the other morning. I was half-joking."

Vic laughed. "No, actually, I assumed you were joking."

"Half-joking," Miller was at pains to clarify.

"Well, I appreciated the half-joke," Vic said. 

"Speaking of half-jokes," Jack said pointedly. Vic looked at him in confusion. "Ripley with the whole marriage thing...?"

"That you didn't even blink at...?" Dean added.

"Oh, that," Vic said dismissively. "Like we said, the guy at the diner thinks we're married -"

"Yeah, yeah," Maya waved her hand. "What he said was that he was gonna marry you." Vic looked at her blankly. "Okay, the commitment-phobe Vic Hughes I know would freak out about that, right there."

Vic squirmed. "He wasn't being serious -"

"Vic," Dean said. "He was sending up a test balloon."

"We've talked around what we think of it," Vic said, squirming under their regard. "Lucas said -"

The three of them exchanged looks.

"What?" Vic demanded.

"You just called him by his name," Maya observed. "You realise you spend almost all your time  _not_ using his name?"

"You all get weird about what you call him and what I call him," Vic said defensively. "Anyway, he said he'd want to be really sure, given his previous marriages didn't work out."

"And where do you stand?" Dean pressed.

Vic shrugged, blushing. "Being married to him wouldn't be the worst thing in the world," as the three of them exchanged looks again, she hurried to add, "but I mean, it's hardly going to happen any time soon. We technically don't even live together right now so it would be skipping a few steps."

"Technically?" Maya raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he lives at his house and I live at my house," Vic said. "Just..."

"There's a  _lot_ of adult sleepovers," Jack grinned suggestively, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh shut up Gibson," Vic retorted automatically, but without any bite. They all laughed. Suddenly it dawned on Vic that they were sitting here and teasing her, but in the way they always tease or interrogate other members of the team about dates; with good humour and absolutely no malice. "Done with your mugs?" 

Vic didn't bother to wait for a reply, grabbing the mugs from their hands and quickly walking inside to rinse them and stack them in the dishwasher.

Dean came after her. "Hey, we didn't mean to upset you," he said, sounding worried.

"You didn't," Vic said as briskly as she could.

"Vic -"

"No, honestly, I just," she took a breath. "You were being so normal then, it just took me by surprise."

"We're good, Vic," Dean said quietly and emphatically. "Ripley, no Ripley, whatever. We're good. It'll be awkward in places but you know what, we can all get over it. Including Ripley."

"He is trying," she remarked.

"That was clear at breakfast," Dean said with a snort of amusement. "He was trying. I think it was good Tuck was there though. He's good with kids."

Vic laughed. "You sound like how I imagine your mother sounds like," she accused, putting on a falsetto voice. " _Get married, settle down, have kids before you get too old_."

Dean laughed too. "Terrifyingly accurate." He glanced out to the deck, went to say something, and hesitated, looking at her.

"Does Maya runs nearby often?" Vic asked pointedly after a moment, relieved when Miller's face relaxed.

"You know?"

"Found out day before yesterday," she said grimly. "You obviously know too."

Dean cast a wry glance around his house. "It's a house boat. The walls aren't exactly soundproof." Vic winced.

"Are you good with them?" he asked.

Vic sighed. "I'm aware of the hypocrisy," she said quietly. "But while I don't care what they do off-duty, I am a little nervous about the dynamic between our three lieutenants."

"I get the concern," Dean replied. "But they're professionals." He hesitated. "You going to tell -"

"No," Vic said. "I can't put him in that position. He has no choice but to action it." She admitted grudgingly, "that's part of my concern, I guess. I don't like actively hiding something from him. I'm not really a good liar."

Dean shot her a look, and she immediately felt guilty. "Maybe I can be," she allowed slowly. "But I don't want to be. I didn't like - it ..."

"It's okay," Dean said. "I get why. But Jack did you a solid -"

"You don't owe me anything, Vic," Gibson's voice broke in, and Vic and Dean glanced over to see Gibson and Bishop standing at the door to the deck. He shrugged. "Doesn't take that long to put away four mugs."

"You know, Miller?" Maya asked anxiously.

Dean threw his hands up. "I live here," he pointed out. "I'm cool with it."

"I'm not wild about the dynamic between my three lieutenants, but off duty is your business," Vic said. "And I'm not planning on telling Lucas. But you two need to be more careful." 

All three of them looked relieved.

"Have you had breakfast?" Jack offered. The two women shook their heads. Vic glanced at Dean who sighed.

"Omelettes?" he suggested

* * *

 

The key turned in her lock, and Vic looked up in surprise to see Lucas enter her apartment.

"You're early!" she exclaimed, glancing at the clock which read 5.30. "Well, not early. You still finished late, but kinda early."

He smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her. "Hey. How was your day?"

"Ugh, I went running with Bishop, and everything hurts," Vic admitted.

Lucas laughed at her. "What possessed you to go running with an ex-Olympic athlete?"

"Don't ask," Vic said. She looked at him, then looked at the kitchen. "I haven't made any decisions about dinner -"

"You know you don't have to make me dinner," he said.

"You make me dinner on weekends," she said. "And if I'm cooking for myself I'm not going to not make sure you don't eat."

"Well, I mean, I've really appreciated it over the last few weeks," he said. "Thanks, Eggy."

"You're welcome, hubby," she teased, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him gently again.

"I think it's time," he said quietly as they drew apart.

"To go back?" Lucas nodded in response.

"Yeah," Vic sighed. "I know. You're right."

"I'm nervous too," Lucas admitted freely. "But, you know, we do this together." Vic smiled at him.

"Okay. How about we do that for dinner?" she said. He nodded.

"I'll shower."

By the time he was out of the shower, half her wardrobe was scattered across the bed. He paused, looking at her fondly.

"Whatcha doing, Vic?" he asked.

"What do we wear?" she asked.

"Let's just pretend it's all normal," he replied, going to his drawer and pulling a plain t-shirt over his head, followed by his green sweater. Vic had been coming around to that on her own, so she breathed a sigh of relief and just grabbed the first shirt that came to hand and pulled it on.

They were quiet on the way to the diner, Lucas resting a hand on her thigh as she drove. She parked, and they got out of the car slowly, reaching for each other's hands.

There was a new paper sign taped beside the door, and Vic paused to read it.  _No photographing or filming is permitted in this diner_ , was all it said in simple large black letters. She nudged Lucas, who glanced at it and frowned, shrugging. He pushed the door open, squeezed her hand, and they went in and made their way to their usual spot.

Vic reached for his hand anxiously across the table again, and he gave her a reassuring smile that was belied by the way in which his free hand was tapping on the table.

"Hi," Cam said, pulling out his notebook, the biggest smile Vic had ever seen on him stretching across his face. "The usual tonight, or would you like to try something else?"

Lucas tightened his hold on her hand, and said in an unsteady voice, "I'll have my usual please."

"Great," Cam said chirpily, glancing to Vic.

"Same, please," she said, smiling at him.

"Awesome," he put the notebook away without writing anything down. "Now, I don't know if you saw the sign in the door, but we have a new condition here that we are making all patrons aware of. We do not permit any filming or photographing on the premises, okay?"

They both nodded, at a loss for words.

"Great!" he chirped again. "Won't be long tonight, guys! Let me know if you need anything." He turned to leave.

"Wait, Cam," Lucas called after him, and he turned back around. Lucas waved his free hand in query, "um...you...did..."

"I mean, you've seen the news, yeah?" Vic cut in for him, and Lucas shot her a grateful look.

For all that he was young and excitable, the smile Cam gave them was wise and gentle. "Yes," he said simply. "I don't know what of it was true, but what we all figure here is that you guys are great customers - you're nice, polite, tip well. So. It's good to have you back." He hesitated, shifting his feet, and glanced around before admitting, "I wasn't sure you'd come back - I'm sure the Fire Chief of Seattle can afford much nicer places."

"This is the nicest place I've ever eaten," Lucas said immediately, sounding choked. Vic glanced over, surprised to find Lucas was tearing up.

"You're the only person so far who's not just immediately given their opinion," Vic said gratefully.

Cam grinned again at them. "Like I said. Let me know if I can get you anything else." He turned, and scurried to relay their order.

Vic glanced across the table again at Lucas, who wiped his eyes.

"This is absurd," he said, laughing.

"I know," she said, wiping her own tears away.

He ran his thumb over hers, smiling affectionately at her. Vic knew he understood how she felt, because he felt the same way; the diner had always been their safe space, and to find it was still safe meant more to them than...well, than words could say.

"So," Lucas said after a few moments. "You enjoying my book?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Vic said archly. He levelled a faux-serious look at her.

"You thought I would miss the fact that you stole  _The Martian_ from me?" 

She shrugged. "The movie was good. You're on a real space kick at the moment, hey?"

"Well, I re-read  _The Martian_ after reading his second book - which I didn't like as much - and then wanted something similar. And that GoodReads site you showed me said  _The Wanderers_ was similar," Lucas said. "None of which answers my question, are you liking it?"

"Yeah, I really am," Vic said. "It's a bit more...I don't know...it feels more realistic than the film? Although I'm sure there's heaps of inaccuracies."

"I think it's because the character is really practical," Lucas said.

Their conversation was interrupted by Cam placing drinks in front of them. They both thanked him.

It was just like being back in their bubble. None of the staff were staring at them - or, if they were, it was with pleased grins on their faces. Because it was a diner, no-one was sitting next to them and staring.

The eggy thing tasted better than ever, and she stole fries off Lucas' plate like she always did. They lingered, happily ordering hot chocolates and dessert.

"I don't think I've had the chance to tell you - thanks, Cam," Lucas said as he put their desserts in front of them. "But we're going to have a second on call roster now."

"Really?" Vic grinned at him. He nodded. "You mean you won't be called all the time?"

He chuckled. "I mean, occasionally there'll still probably be situations when I'm not on call that I get called but they'll be very uncommon," he replied. "Almost all the issues - people not answering, last minute sick leave, simultaneous fires - should be covered by having a second on call."

"So we can go away for our vacation," Vic said.

"Honey, we can go away for  _weekends_ ," he replied. 

"You can drink with me," she leaned forward, grinning impishly at him. "You've never come drinking with me."

"I'm scared," he joked.

"You owe me a drink," Vic accused.

"Technically, you asked  _me_ for a drink, so  _you_ owe  _me_ that drink," Lucas flirted back.

"Okay," Vic said, giving him her best flirtatious grin. "You're on. We could go somewhere now, you and me." She let her eyes drop to his lips, and he swallowed.

"Or you could take me home," he said huskily, giving her a cocky grin. "Not going to the bar has worked well for us in the past."

She smirked at him, and he signaled Cam to bring them the check. Lucas glanced at it, and frowned. "You didn't include the desserts, Cam."

"They're on the house," the manager said. "We're happy to have you back." 

Lucas shook his head, pulling out a couple of bills from his wallet.

"If you want to ask us anything you can," Vic offered impulsively. "We...uh...we lied to you for a long time."

"I assumed a bunch of things and you know what they say about assumptions," Cam shrugged cheerfully. "Even if you guys aren't married yet, you're still relationship goals."

God she was not going to cry because of something a random diner manager said. Vic stood, and gave him a quick, impulsive hug. 

"You're going to make some lucky person very happy someday," she said, drawing back. 

"We appreciate it," Lucas added, shaking the surprised man's hand firmly. "See you next time."

"You tipped, right?" Vic checked as they got to the car.

"Yes dear, the top note was a twenty, the bottom note a fifty," Lucas said, rolling his eyes. 

Vic laughed, and leaned over the console to kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"When we get married, we should invite Cam," Vic said absently, as she put the car into reverse.

If Vic had realised what she'd said, and looked over, she would've seen Lucas beaming, on the verge of tears again.


	20. Backdraft

His phone rang, and Lucas excused himself from Captain Sloane and the graduate who'd come top of the class.

"Ripley," he answered.

"Chief, Frankel here," came the response. "We need you to come down to 19 now."

His heart dropped like a stone. "What's happened?!"

"Hughes is fine, it's nothing to do with her," Frankel said hurriedly. "Not so much as a fucking hair on her precious fucking head has been touched."

"Fuck, Deb, never start a sentence like that again," he said, rubbing his chest, feeling his heart still hammering.

"Sorry, I didn't think," she said, sounding genuinely contrite.

"No shit," he said through gritted teeth. "What's happened?"

"Did you know that Gibson and Herrera used to see each other?"

"What?" a few graduates turned around, and Lucas forced himself to quieten as he said, "are you serious?!"

"Yeah. And I just had to pull Gibson, Herrera and Bishop from an active scene because Herrera and Bishop were arguing about how Bishop apparently is now seeing Gibson," Frankel sounded distinctly unimpressed.

"You're joking," Lucas said flatly.

"Wish I were," Frankel said. "HR are crawling all over it right now, but we have seriously big personnel issues at 19 now."

"Too many lieutenants to potentially none," Lucas said. 

"Given the situation - and the fact we need to work out rosters - Robyn Peterson from HR is prepared to deliver some preliminary findings for us," Frankel said. "To give us an idea on what we will need to do."

"Okay," Lucas sighed. "The Academy graduation ceremony is done, so I'll start heading in to 19."

He did a quick round, shaking hands with a bunch of random graduates, before hopping in his car and making his way to 19. In the car, his relief at Vic being okay faded, giving way to concern over how to deal with this ... situation ... without seeming like a complete hypocrite.

It was probably going to destroy Gibson's career. One relationship with another firefighter was bad enough, but with two? 

How they were going to shuffle at least two lieutenants was beyond him. And Herrera's career was probably going to get trashed too - her reputation already had marks against it given her father's position, and now, to add a relationship with a coworker...she would struggle at a different station.

And no matter the best intentions, people would find out. Sending lieutenants scattering from a station as if fired from a shotgun was always a clear sign of scandal.

He entered Sullivan's office, finding Robyn and her team from HR there along with Frankel, Diaz, and Sullivan.

"Evening," he said. His mood must have been clear, because everyone just murmured a quiet greeting in reply - even Frankel. "All right. Brief me."

"Were you aware, Chief Ripley, of the current sexual relationship between Lieutenants Gibson and Bishop?" Robyn Peterson from HR asked.

"No," he replied flatly.

"And were you aware of the former sexual relationship between Lieutenant Gibson and then-Firefighter Herrera?"

"No."

"Approximately seventeen months ago Lieutenant Gibson and then-Firefighter Herrera commenced a consensual sexual relationship," Robyn said dispassionately. "Herrera has indicated to me that Gibson did not coerce or pressure her into the relationship. This relationship ended approximately five months later, after Herrera had been promoted to Lieutenant. Initially only then-Firefighter Bishop was aware of the relationship and has provided corroborating testimony that it was consensual and non-coerced, nor was she coerced or pressured into remaining silent about the relationship. At some point just prior to the termination of the relationship, the entire C shift was made aware of their relationship."

"Lieutenants Bishop and Gibson entered into a consensual sexual relationship approximately five weeks ago. Lieutenant Herrera is the only one who is aware of this relationship, and she found out approximately three weeks ago," Robyn said. She glanced at Frankel. "Battalion Chief Frankel can relate today's events."

"Bishop and Herrera were arguing at a fucking scene about how Bishop was sleeping with Gibson despite him being Herrera's ex," Frankel said tiredly. "So I pulled the three of them out and called HR in."

"We didn't need the invective, Frankel," Diaz said in an almost bored tone of voice.

Lucas shook his head and scratched at his beard. "Okay. I assume you've interviewed them?"

"We're done with them," Robyn confirmed. "It was just the three of them that knew about Gibson and Bishop, although the whole team knew about Gibson and Herrera."

Relief washed over him that Vic didn't know about Gibson and Bishop.

"Including Captain Herrera?" he couldn't help but ask. Robyn nodded. Lucas grimaced.

"Did he say something to you too?" Sullivan asked.

"You know Pruitt; not shy about his opinions," Lucas said, before frowning. "Wait, to me _too_?"

"He and Hughes had a run in last shift," Sullivan said reluctantly.

Lucas clenched his jaw, forcing himself to breathe. 

"Hughes can handle herself," Frankel said.

"I know," he snapped. "Let's deal with this thing."

"Do you want to start at the easier or harder end?" Robyn asked sympathetically.

"Gibson," Lucas sighed.

"Reprimanded twice further for initiating and continuing relationships. At the time his relationship with Herrera started, she was a subordinate," Robyn sighed. "For Gibson, suspension, demotion, and termination are all reasonable options given his clear disregard for the rules regarding sexual conduct."

"We don't need to demote him, I think," Diaz said. "His career's never going to progress now."

"It'd be a waste of a good officer to demote him; pointless having him as just a driver," Lucas agreed.

"He could still make captain," Frankel offered. "But years down the track."

"This would all have to be firmly in the past," Diaz agreed.

"He's just come off medical leave, suspending him," Frankel shook her head.

"Well, I don't think he should be terminated," Robyn said. "There's grounds for it but I don't think it would be necessary."

"Let's look at the two things separately. Say we've found out about Gibson and Herrera now, setting aside the relationship with Bishop," Lucas said. "Could we have let it slide with a reprimand?"

"It started while she was his _direct_ subordinate is the issue," Robyn said. "There were months where he was her lieutenant, and a very brief period where he was Acting Captain prior to her promotion. He really should be suspended for that; it only occurred eighteen months ago, and he clearly hasn't taken away from that lessons on not initiating relationships within the same command structure."

"Taking that event in isolation," Lucas pressed. "How long a suspension would you recommend?"

"Two weeks minimum," Robyn said. "Unpaid."

"And for this relationship with Bishop?"

"It doesn't have quite the same power dynamic issues," Robyn replied. "So it's more about initiating a relationship within a command structure. Suspension for up to a week for that would be appropriate, again unpaid. But I think the bigger concern is the overall picture of a young lieutenant who is not recognising the concerns the department necessarily has with relationships within a team."

"Well the boy's career's dead in the water," Diaz said. "That's probably enough."

"I agree," Frankel said. "Damn. He's so good at the job. He would've been a great captain." She paused. "He reminded me of you, Chief."

Lucas sighed. "Well, we'll suspend him for three weeks without pay as per your recommendation," he nodded to Robyn. "Let's deal with Bishop next."

"Reprimanded twice, once for not reporting a relationship and the second for commencing a relationship within the same command structure, and suspension for a week," Robyn said.

Lucas glanced around, but nobody seemed to have anything to say on that.

"Herrera?"

"Reprimanded twice like Bishop," Robyn sighed. "From purely a relationship point of view we would not normally advocate for the subordinate officer in a relationship to be suspended. But their relationship continued while in the same command structure, so we would also recommend suspending her."

"And the argument on scene was initiated by Herrera," Frankel said. 

"What exactly happened?" Diaz asked.

"They reached for the same tool, Bishop said, 'after you', and Herrera said, 'yeah, like always' or something to that effect. Bishop then said, 'you and Gibson were long done, come on' and Herrera said, 'so that gave you the right to jump into bed with my ex' - that's the point at which I pulled them," Frankel replied.

"That sounds pretty even," Diaz said.

"Sullivan, anything to add?" Lucas asked. The other man shook his head.

"They've kept it to themselves," he replied. "I mean, I noticed there was tension between them, but ... they're good on scenes."

"Usually. All right. Herrera and Bishop each suspended for a week without pay, Gibson for three," Lucas said.

"What am I supposed to do?" Sullivan asked. "All my lieutenants gone - and three staff down."

"We'll have to shuffle them anyway," Lucas said. "Bishop and Gibson can't continue to work together, and I'm not thrilled about Gibson and Herrera working together either."

"Herrera and Bishop clearly can't work together properly," added Frankel.

"I don't think the problem is between Gibson and Herrera," said Sullivan. "It's between Bishop and Herrera; they're best friends."

"Oof," Diaz winced. "So the issue is less about him, and more about their friendship you think, Sullivan."

"Why do men always assume the fight will be over a man?" Frankel wondered out loud. Robyn laughed.

The men in the room exchanged glances. 

"Do you have a preference for who you want to keep on this shift, Sullivan?" Lucas asked. "Because let's see if we can shuffle them between shifts for now."

He shook his head.

"Gibson's just come off medical leave, let's keep him in one place, as much stability as possible," Diaz said.

"We'll need cover if he's going to be off for three weeks," Sullivan pointed out.

Twenty minutes of wrangling later, and Lucas had a headache.

But they had a solution, albeit an imperfect one, to stagger their suspensions. Nobody was keen on pulling lieutenants to cover in from other stations, and it would give Sullivan time to rework the station's rosters to shuffle Irvington and Mason with Bishop and Herrera. Everyone wanted to keep it as quiet as possible; while they'd stagnate Gibson's career, Bishop and Herrera would bear the brunt of the day-to-day social reprisal. After some disagreement, they'd also reached a consensus on how to handle Herrera and Bishop's unprofessionalism at the scene.

Lucas couldn't help but feel guilty again over Vic, and to some extent, over how Gibson's situation was a little bit worse because of the reprimand he'd received for not outing Lucas' own relationship with a subordinate.

"Let's get this done," he said abruptly.

"Actually, Lucas," Robyn interrupted. "If I can get you to sign your updated conditions, while we speak to those three, Kyle will get Hughes to sign her copy when she gets back from her call, if that's acceptable to you Sullivan."

"It's a technical change only, Sully," Lucas explained, quickly reading and signing the paperwork. "Means any disciplinary actions have to go through the ACO and her Battalion Chief now." He handed them to Robyn, who in turn handed it to a bespectacled man.

"They're in the conference room," Sullivan said, heading to the door.

Lucas trooped up the stairs behind his old friend, pushing all his emotions back. They filed in quietly, Lucas taking a seat in the middle of the table directly across from Bishop, who was sitting between Gibson and Herrera with an empty seat separating each of them. Diaz and Frankel sat to Lucas' right, Robyn and Sullivan to his left.

"Lieutenants Gibson, Bishop, and Herrera," Sullivan introduced. "You all know Battalion Chief Frankel, that's Assistant Chief of Operations Mateo Diaz, Chief Lucas Ripley, and Ms Robyn Peterson, the Head of the Human Relations Department for the SFD."

"Do any of you have any questions or additions you'd like to make before we start?" Lucas asked.

"Wait, are these the findings now, already?" Gibson asked.

"Yes," Sullivan replied.

"That was quick...really quick..." Gibson looked confused, gaze flickering to Lucas'.

"The other case you have been involved in was far more complex," Robyn said as Lucas held Gibson's gaze steadily. "The level of fraternisation in this case unfortunately occurs not infrequently."

"Although it usually does not involve quite so many personnel needing disciplinary action and reassignment," Diaz added.

"Reassignment!?" Herrera exclaimed, glancing at her fellow lieutenants in surprise.

"Herrera, you can't seriously think we can let the three of you work together," Frankel snapped.

"Let's start from the beginning," Lucas cut in before Herrera could respond. "Robyn, would you mind summarising your report, and then we'll go through the findings individually."

He tuned out Robyn's summary, watching the three of them. Gibson was pale, staring straight ahead, jaw locked. Bishop was staring at the table, shoulders slumped, while Herrera was glaring at Frankel.

"Any corrections or additions you'd like to make?" Frankel asked. The three shook their heads. "All right, let's move onto the findings."

"You can do this individually or collectively," Lucas interrupted.

"Together," Gibson said. "No point not."

"Agreed," Bishop said to the table."

Herrera nodded, "yep."

"Lieutenant Gibson, with respect to the relationship you had with now-Lieutenant Herrera, we've recommended you be reprimanded for initiating and continuing a sexual relationship with a subordinate under your direct supervision and suspended for a minimum period of two weeks and maximum period of one month without pay, as well as requiring that you attend a workshop on sexual harassment in the workplace," Robyn said dispassionately. Gibson swallowed.

"With respect to your relationship with Lieutenant Bishop, we recommend that you be reprimanded for initiating and continuing a sexual relationship with an officer in the same unit," Robyn said. "Furthermore, we've recommended you be suspended for a minimum period of one week without pay and a maximum period of three weeks without pay."

"Gibson, we are suspending you for three weeks without pay in total, effective from the start of your next shift," Frankel said. "In addition to the reprimands and the workshop you are required to attend."

"Any questions?" Lucas asked.

"No sir," Gibson's gaze was fixed at the wall behind Robyn, but Lucas could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears.

"Lieutenant Bishop, with respect to the previous relationship between Lieutenant Gibson and now-Lieutenant Herrera we have recommended you be reprimanded for failing to report a sexual relationship within the chain of command," Robyn said. "With respect to your relationship with Lieutenant Gibson, we recommend that you be reprimanded for initiating and continuing a sexual relationship with an officer in the same unit and that you be suspended for a minimum period of one week without pay and a maximum period of three weeks without pay."

"Bishop, we are suspending you for ten days without pay, effective eleven days from now," Frankel said. "In addition to the reprimands as outlined by Ms Peterson, I am also formally warning you regarding unprofessional behaviour at an active scene."

"Any questions?" Lucas asked.

"No sir," Bishop looked up, setting her shoulders and meeting Lucas' gaze directly.

"Yes sir," Gibson interjected, and she looked at him in surprise. "What about the conditions?"

"Conditions?" Frankel asked in surprise.

"On our relationship?" Gibson said slowly, "and the option of whether we continue or -"

Frankel and Diaz laughed, and Jack bristled.

"The SFD does not place conditions on relationships or ask people to choose between relationships and positions," Robyn explained firmly. "There was a recent case which did involve conditions but under confidentiality clauses regarding all HR investigations I cannot comment upon the specifics."

"I can," Lucas said, glancing to check with Robyn.

She smiled wryly. "It's your prerogative, sir, if you choose to waive your confidentiality, however technically you cannot identify the other party because -"

"Oh for fuck's sake, given the station we're in -" Frankel began, and Lucas quelled her with a glare.

"Gibson, I voluntarily declared a relationship," he said, looking back at the lieutenant. "The conditions were put in place as there was no way to remove me from that party's command structure. You and Bishop can be moved from the same command structure, so it's not relevant. And there's no such thing as offering you the choice to not be in a relationship and continue to work together. Nor was that an option given in my case; if we'd not agreed to the conditions, my contract would have been terminated."

"You weren't suspended," Herrera burst out angrily. "And Hughes could have been removed from the the same command structure if they'd just demoted you."

Lucas forced himself not to flinch.

"Leave Hughes out of this," hissed Bishop. 

"I didn't say a word about _her_ being disciplined," Herrera argued.

"In order to demote me out of her command structure, they'd have to demote me down to Battalion Chief," Lucas said evenly. "I assume it was discussed - I was not party to those discussions. Rather than suspending me, they've put me on probation for twelve months. Again, I assume suspension was discussed -"

"You can't suspend him without completely fucking up SFD operations," Frankel interrupted. 

"Besides," Diaz said firmly. "You three, being junior, and not privy to what happens on the level of incident commander, do not understand that the Chief is good at his job. Both the practical and paperwork sides."

Despite himself, Lucas felt his heart warm, and he looked at Diaz in surprise. The normally taciturn man wasn't one for compliments.

"He runs the SFD more efficiently and more cheaply than ever before, with fewer injuries and deaths," added Frankel. "Even more cheaply now that we've identified several black holes in our spending."

"More to the point, the Chief's record is completely clean," Robyn said. "He's not involved directly with the other party professionally, and..." she shrugged. 

"To go back to the original question, Gibson, no conditions are required because you two will not be working together in the same unit," Lucas said, feeling both uncomfortable and touched by the support from his colleagues.

"We're going to discuss those logistics after we get through this, Herrera," Sullivan stepped in, nodding at Robyn.

"Lieutenant Herrera, with respect to the previous relationship between Lieutenant Gibson and yourself we have recommended you be reprimanded for initiating and continuing a sexual relationship within the chain of command and that you be suspended for a minimum period of one week without pay and a maximum period of three weeks without pay," Robyn said. "With respect with Lieutenant Gibson and Lieutenant Bishop's relationship, we recommend that you be reprimanded for failing to report a sexual relationship between officers in the same unit."

"Herrera, we are suspending you for ten days without pay, effective from next shift," Frankel said. "In addition to the reprimands as outlined by Ms Peterson, I am also formally warning you regarding unprofessional behaviour at an active scene."

"Any questions?" Lucas asked, steeling himself.

"Before she starts," Frankel jumped in. "You are being suspended because for a period of time while you were in an active relationship with Gibson you were of equal rank."

"The higher ranked officer bears the brunt of the punishment," Diaz added.

"That's why Vic walked away with a reprimand, and a piece of paper that lists about four different ways the SFD can immediately terminate her contract," Gibson added quietly. "The Chief can be terminated at any point in the next twelve months for pretty much anything if he puts a toe out of line, and, from the paper Vic showed me, would lose his pension with it if that happens."

"The social repercussions for Vic are probably worse than any of that," Lucas added quietly. "As I'm sure you can understand, being the daughter of a captain."

Herrera's shoulders slumped a little. "I...sorry. This just feels really...harsh," she said, more to his tie than to him.

"I understand how it feels going through this process," Lucas said gently. "But lets move on to the roster situation, if, Robyn, you've nothing more to add."

"No sir, thank you," Robyn said, and she and the rest of her team left the room. Lucas sat back as Sullivan and Frankel took the lead on explaining the roster arrangements. The three lieutenants seemed subdued, and didn't complain when they outlined how they were going to shuffle shifts around to avoid them ever working together.

"Okay, we're done," Diaz sighed, getting up at the end. 

"Gibson," Lucas said. "A minute with you." Bishop shot Jack a concerned look but he waved her on, and soon it was just the two of them left.

Lucas sighed, sitting back in his chair, thinking about what to say. "You understand what this means about your career, Jack?"

Gibson looked at his tightly folded hands and nodded crisply.

"No matter how much I might want to ignore your personal life in favour of your professional ability, we can't promote you after this," Lucas said, letting his regret bleed into his words. "Furthermore, the phrase, 'three strikes you're out' doesn't just refer to baseball. If this happens again, we'll have no choice but to fire you."

"I understand," he said.

"Three weeks is a long time alone with your thoughts," Lucas said, pulling out his phone. He took out his business card and scribbled his personal number on the back. 

"I just came off four and a half months with my thoughts," Gibson retorted defensively. "I'm used to them."

"Back in my day, when I was first diagnosed with PTSD, they didn't take you off duty," Lucas admitted, sliding the card over to Gibson, who looked up sharply at his words. "You worked through it. The experts say it's better to take you away from ongoing trauma while you start to recover, but I don't know how I would've done without work."

"Sir," Gibson's jaw fell slack as he looked down at the card.

"The peer group is a great support network," Lucas said. "But if you don't feel like a crowd, you can call me if you want to talk to someone who has PTSD, or if you don't want to talk and just want to have dinner and a beer. And Vic is...amazing about this kind of thing."

Gibson was silent for a moment, then he looked up to meet Lucas' gaze. "You said that you _have_ PTSD?" 

"I don't get flashbacks any more, not really," Lucas said quietly. "But I still occasionally get the dreams, and I do, rarely now, disassociate. Usually there's a specific trigger - I know the types of scenes that do it." He paused. "I don't think we can be cured of PTSD. I think it's like how an alcoholic who's been sober for forty years will still call themselves an alcoholic. So. I have PTSD. I probably always will. I just control my symptoms."

"People must know this," Gibson looked confused. "And you're still..."

"Still the Chief?" Lucas paused, trying to think of a way to say it. "Not everyone in the upper ranks appreciates my approach to mental health. I think we need to be talking about it openly; that's why I encourage the peer support group. But even those who don't like the newfangled openness about it the fact is that we've all lost colleagues and friends to suicide. We've all got trauma from the things we've seen and done." He shrugged. "And before you ask, yes, Vic and I have talked about it. A lot." He stopped short of saying that Vic's own struggles with anxiety and trauma meant she understood a lot of what he went through.

 

Jack nodded quietly, tucking the card into his top pocket. "I appreciate it, sir."

Lucas nodded. "Let's get out of this place."

* * *

Vic flashed Preston a quick smile as she signed the updated conditions. 

"All done," she said. "Anything else?" He shook his head. "Great."

She left Sullivan's office as quickly as she could, and practically ran into Gibson and Lucas as they came down the stairs, both looking grim.

"Vic," Lucas began, but this was not the place to have the argument about her not telling him about the lieutenant triangle now that  _that_ had blown up.

[Hey, it didn't take a genius to work out what must be happening if all three Lieutenants were sequestered with HR for the day].

"Condition six," she said sharply.

His expression cracked for a moment, initially hurt flashing across his face followed by confusion then a horrified realisation. He glanced at Gibson, who'd suddenly paled.

"I was going to say that I've got vacation leave from next month, the 29th to the 12th inclusive, couldn't get the 28th off as well," Lucas said stiffly. "I wouldn't think that would significantly impede or distract you from your job given it would be a five second conversation." He glanced around, then back to Gibson, hissing, "you  _lied_?"

 _Oh fuck_ , Vic thought, paling. "Jack, why -"

"We didn't want her getting into trouble," Gibson hissed. "It didn't matter."

Lucas scratched his beard before his features settled into their terrifyingly neutral expression. "I...fuck -"

"Look, decide later if you want to haul all of us across coals about this," Jack hissed. "But there's a HR guy in Sullivan's office right now, and please just think about what you want to do. "

"Fine," Lucas sounded a little strangled.

"Lucas -" Vic started, unsure what she was planning on saying.

"We'll talk later," he snapped quietly.

"Fine," she snapped back.

"Please don't ever 'condition six' me like that again, Victoria," he said bitterly before striding out the door. It was like a kick in the guts, seeing him look so hurt and angry, and Vic felt like crumpling.

"I'm sorry," Gibson said, and Vic dragged her gaze from Lucas' retreating back. Vic shook her head.

"It's fine."

"Bishop and I didn't want to cause you two trouble like this," he said.

"Jack, it's fine, I'll talk to him tomorrow," she said, more confidently than she felt. She looked at him in sympathy. "You okay?"

"That was awful," Jack admitted, running his hand through his hair. Vic gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Jack," they glanced over to see Andy standing with Maya near the turnout room.

"I'll see you at dinner," Jack sighed.

Vic felt the urge to hit something, so wandered into the gym to find Sullivan already pounding the stuffing out of the bag. 

"You need to hit something as well?" Sullivan grunted.

"I do, but I'm thinking you need it more," Vic replied, wincing as he landed a particularly nasty hit on the bag.

"You heard?"

"Jack just told me the basics," Vic said. "Not sure what the outcomes were, but I know the basics."

"I look like a fucking idiot who doesn't know what's happening inside his own station," Sullivan complained. "And I knew they were having troubles but I paired them up at the scene anyway and now I've lost all three of my lieutenants."

He stopped, panting. "Okay, Hughes, your turn."

Vic pulled on some gloves and started hitting the bag herself.

"Why do you need to punch something anyway?" Sullivan asked.

"My whole life feels like it's on a delay right now," Vic complained after a moment. "Like, I go to work, and if it's a weekday, I don't see Lucas till the following night, so if there's something we need to talk about or a fight we need to have it just gets put off. And if he's on call, then - why are you laughing?!"

Sullivan shook his head. "I'm sorry. It's just... _it feels like your whole life is on hold_ because you can't spend every minute with your  _boyfriend_?"

Vic glared at him, which only made him laugh harder.

"That's what you just said," he said unrepentantly.

"Dinner's ready," Travis poked his head in. "Nobody's up there so Dean told me to do a round up."

Vic landed one last hit on the bag before discarding her gloves and walking up with Sullivan. "By the way, Captain, next month I'll need the 29th to the 12th off. Vacation leave."

 

* * *

 

They'd started eating, somewhat subdued, under the watchful gaze of Sullivan by the time the three Lieutenants entered the Beanery and sat down.

"We need to talk to you all," Jack said with a sigh, reaching over and serving himself.

"About all this HR stuff," Ben said quietly. 

"Yeah," Maya said with a sigh. "You may have noticed that Andy and I haven't been...on the best of terms recently. That's because a few weeks ago she found out that me and Jack were seeing each other."

Everyone stayed silent.

"We had a fight at the scene," Andy said. "And Frankel overheard and anyway..."

"How bad is it?" Travis asked.

"We've all been suspended," Jack said. "Me for three weeks from next shift, Andy for ten days from next shift, and Maya for ten days after Andy returns."

"Fucking hell," Dean swore.

"And who's staying?" asked Vic. "I assume they transferred at least one of you?"

"At the moment we're all staying at 19, but Maya and I will be on separate shifts. Jack will stay on this shift," Andy explained.

"At least in theory," Jack said darkly. "Maya will stay on here until Andy's suspension is done, then she'll be suspended and Andy will work this shift until I come back."

"I'll be talking to lieutenants on other shifts and we're going to shuffle them around," Sullivan said, pausing for a moment before adding, "HR investigations are confidential. They won't be told any of this, except that we're making some shift changes."

"Any questions?" Maya asked grimly.

They ate in silence.


	21. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder from Chapter Six:   
> _Condition 6. If the relationship between Chief Ripley and Firefighter Hughes distracts, impedes, or otherwise impacts on either party's ability to carry out their assigned duties it is grounds for immediate termination_ here the words 'of both party's contracts' were crossed out, replaced in Lucas' messy scrawl, _'of Chief Ripley's contract'._

Dinner was subdued, and afterwards, the team scattered. It was hard to know what to say, when faced with the break up of your family. It wasn't like a farewell breakfast or drinks seemed on the cards either, as the dynamic between Jack and Maya and Andy was strained and weird. [And anyway, Andy and Maya would be working with them for a few more weeks until Jack came back - so while it was the last shift with all of them, it wasn't the last shift with them].

Vic's looming fight with Lucas was also hanging over her. It was _going_ to be a fight, and she hated this; waiting for it. She'd have rather gotten it out of the way, but they  _could not_ do that at work. Not about this. She'd been trying to prevent him from being put into the impossible situation of choosing between doing the right thing by the rules or having to turn in two of her best friends and coworkers. Instead, she had put him in the worse situation of having to choose between doing the right thing by the rules, or having to submit her for disciplinary action and her friends for  _further_ disciplinary action for lying. [And his career was definitely on the line; keeping quiet would definitely violate his probation].

The worst thing, though, was how  _hurt_ he'd looked when he'd stormed out.

Lucas had looked hurt. Vic had never loved anyone like she loved him and to see him hurt like that... She hated herself for saying it, for pulling that condition on him. If he'd done that to her, she'd be pissed and angry too.

She sighed, and grabbed her phone.

 _Lucas, I love you. I'm sorry I should never have said that_ , before she could lose her nerve, she texted it through to him. And then stared at the message. 

There was a knock at the door, and Vic sighed. "Yeah?" she called.

She'd expected Maya, or maybe Jack, or maybe Maya and Jack.

She hadn't expected Andrea Herrera's head to poke around the door awkwardly. "Vic, please, can I talk to you? I really need to talk to you."

"Come on in," Vic said resignedly, putting her phone down. Andy came in, and sat cross-legged on the end of Vic's bunk. In silence. "You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah," Andy said. "Sorry. I don't know where to - I guess I should say that I'm sorry. I think in retrospect I took some of my anger at Maya and Jack out on you. I was a bit harsh."

Vic nodded, "I appreciate the apology."

"Um. I was also a bit ... argumentative...with the Chief earlier," Andy's face twisted. "I felt like...well, I feel like I got screwed over a bit."

Vic frowned, "in what way?"

"Being suspended for ten days," she said. "I mean, me and Jack, we were ages ago." The question lingered, unasked but clear, in Andy's eyes.  _Why hadn't Vic or Lucas been suspended?_

Vic sighed, reaching for her phone. "Did you ever see the relationship conditions in full?" Andy shook her head, and Vic quickly pulled them up on her phone. "Here."

"There's a lot of them," Andy said slowly as she scrolled down.

"SFD can terminate both our contracts like that," Vic snapped her fingers. "For a whole bunch of reasons. He is worse off than me - one toe out of line..." her stomach roiled with guilt, "and he's gone. Nearly twenty years of his life gone, his pension gone, because of us. I don't know how probation compares against suspension in terms of punishment, and HR didn't exactly give me a blow by blow account as to why I didn't get suspended, or put on probation, or anything, but it's not like we haven't been officially punished there." She paused. "Lucas nearly lost his job outright. And It's not like we're not being unofficially punished. He hasn't said too much, doesn't like to say too much, but I know he's had loads of crap from his chiefs. And," she smiled bitterly. "I've had loads of crap too."

Andy winced. "I know," she said, looking at Vic thoughtfully. "Including, I guess, well-meaning crap from people like my dad. And me."

Vic shrugged. "You don't like it when your dad messes in your life," she said unapologetically. "Why would I like it - he's  _not_ my dad. And both of you seemed to assume I was naive or stupid or something. If you trusted my judgement, you'd accept my opinion that Lucas is a _really_ good man."

Andy sighed. "I do trust your judgement," she said. "I just...I worry anyway."

"Well, I'll take that," Vic replied, figuring it was probably as good as she would get. There was a moment of silence. "So when did you find out?"

"I woke up early one morning a few weeks ago and needed a drink and found him sneaking out of our apartment," Andy said bluntly. Vic winced. "Yeah."

"So what happened today?" Vic asked.

Andy sighed, and looked a bit ashamed. "I made a catty comment and Frankel overheard. I ... Maya and I haven't spoken properly since. She keeps trying to talk to me but ... I ... I guess I'm still mad."

"I thought you'd moved on to Ryan?" Vic said quietly. "I mean, yeah, and then you guys broke up but...I thought you weren't into Gibson any more."

"It's not about Gibson, not really," Andy replied, twisting her hands. "It's about Maya lying to me."

"Have you talked to her about it?"

"Not properly - every time I do I get so angry again at how humiliating this is -"

"Humiliating?" Vic asked sharply. "Because your ex - who you've just said this isn't about - is dating someone new?"

"My  _best friend_ ," Andy emphasised. "I mean, who does that? No double dipping that's the -"

"Is Maya happy?" Vic interrupted. Andy looked taken aback. "Is Gibson?"

"I ... don't know," Andy said slowly.

"Maybe you should ask. Because if it were my friend and ex, I think even though it would be awkward, if they were happy, that would be what I'd try to focus on," Vic said. "Because your anger and your disapproval hasn't stopped them, and maybe that's because they actually have feelings for each other."

"I didn't think about it like that," Andy said slowly.

Vic bit back her reply of,  _what, looking at it from their point of view?_

There was a knock on the door.

"Yeah," Vic said again, forcing herself not to roll her eyes.

"Vic, do you have a minute," Maya's voice trailed off as she saw Andy sitting on Vic's bed.

"Come in," Vic said firmly. "Sit. Talk to Andy." As Maya nervously approached, sitting on the middle of Vic's narrow bed to form a tight triangle between the three of them, Vic's phone went off.

It was still in Andy's hand, and she glanced reflexively at it, before handing it to Vic. She hesitated, but gave a weak smile, teasing, "I think it's your boy-frieeeeend."

Vic rolled her eyes, and felt her heart pounding as she saw it was indeed from Lucas (now in her phone simply as Luke). She swiped open the message, and was relieved to read,  _Iove you too. 1st meeting at 0830. will you be home straight after shift? otherwise talk after i finish work._

"You two came to talk, so talk," Vic said, irritably, to the other two, before hastily typing back to him, _will come straight home._

"I...I feel hurt that you didn't tell me," Andy said stiffly.

 _see you then_ , Lucas' text read.

Vic took a deep breath in, ignoring what Maya said in reply as relief swept over her. He was still mad from the slightly terse replies (Lucas tended to send essays; he was the only person that she called, simply because it was quicker to actually talk to him than wait for him to type it out) but he loved her so they were okay.

He loved her even though she'd been a colossal jerk to him.

"Vic?" she looked up to see Andy and Maya looking at her expectantly.

"Huh?"

"What do you think?

"About what?"

Maya rolled her eyes, gesturing between her and Andy. "The whole thing?"

"I wasn't listening," Vic admitted.

"Look, I get that Andy was mad but she's acting like Jack should be off limits because she dated him like over a year ago and has since moved on to Ryan and now onto Sullivan -"

"Sullivan, what are you talking about!?"

"Oh please, you're always hanging out with him -"

"He's my friend, which -"

"ENOUGH," Vic snapped, putting her phone down. "Maya, you had to know that getting with Jack would at the least be awkward as fuck and I think Andy's more mad you didn't tell her, which is kind of fair enough given you're best friends and he's her ex. Andy, you need to decide whether you're going to get the fuck over it or lose your best friend over a guy that you don't have feelings for anymore."

She glared at both of them, who looked a little surprised and cowed. "So. What's it going to be? Apologise to each other and stay friends, or stay mad and bitchy at each other forever?"

And all of a sudden it was like the floodgates burst, and both women started crying, reaching for each other.

"I'm sorry," sobbed Andy.

"No,  _I'm_ sorry for not telling you," Maya wailed.

Vic rolled her eyes, getting off her own bunk and walking out, shutting the door gently behind her. Travis and Dean were watching TV in the dayroom and they looked up as she entered.

"Andy and Maya are cry-hugging it out in my room," she announced, flopping on the couch next to Travis.

"Oh good," Dean said emphatically. "Maybe she and Gibson can spend more time at her place then."

"I'm surprised you didn't get reprimanded for not reporting it," Travis said blithely.

"Shh," Dean hissed. flicking a glance at Vic. "They covered. Didn't ask them to, but they did. And if that gets found out -"

"Trouble," Travis nodded slowly.

Vic wasn't sure how long they spent, mindlessly watching a sitcom about something, when Andy and Maya stood in the doorway, arms around each other.

"Thanks, Vic," Maya said, sniffling. Andy nodded emphatically.

"We were thinking," Andy said. "If this is our last shift all together we should go out for breakfast tomorrow morning. Warren's in, Jack's in, Sullivan's even in." She looked at them expectantly.

"Of course," Dean said as Travis said, "sure."

Everyone looked at Vic.

"I have to go home first," she said. "But I can come by later."

"Come  _on_ ," Andy wheedled, but Vic stood firm.

"I need to go home," she repeated.

"Well, should we just say if we all go home, shower, and then go out around 9.00? Is that okay, Vic?" Travis suggested.

"That should work," Vic replied with a shrug. Lucas would have to be well on his way to work by then.

 

* * *

 

Her first thought when she entered her flat and found Lucas waiting in the kitchen for her, ready for work, was that he looked about as exhausted as she felt.

"Hi," she said quietly, walking in.

"Hey," he replied in the same tone.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jack and Maya," Vic began defensively. "I just -"

"Vic," Lucas said in exasperation. "That's not what I'm angry about!" 

"It felt hypocritical to - wait, what?" Vic stammered to a halt.

Lucas sighed. "Look, am I happy you didn't tell me about them? No, of course not. Do I know that you won't and can't tell me about some of the internal dynamics of your station - yes I know that. I get your team mean a lot to you, and I understand you wanting to protect them."

"I only found out last shift," Vic said quietly. "I was trying to encourage them to come forward."

His expression softened a little. "Anyway. That's not what I'm mad about," he took a deep breath, expression twisted in hurt. "You quoted ... You used the conditions. Conditions that our workplace have set around our relationship, but I thought that you and I don't have conditions around who we are to each other and  _how_ we talk to each other! Sure, if I'm out of line at work or you are, we need to remind each other that work has requirements for us and our relationship but I hadn't even said anything and you cut me off, Vic."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I never meant to hurt you and as soon as I said it I -"

She was interrupted by a loud knock on her door. 

"Probably someone selling something," she muttered. "Look, I should never have said it like that. I just...I assumed that you were about to be angry with me over not telling you about Jack and Maya and I didn't want to have that fight in public."

Lucas' expression slowly started to relax, and the knocking on her door started up again. Lucas shrugged at her, and Vic let out an exasperated sigh but turned to go answer it. She was surprised, and not at all pleased to see Gibson and Bishop on the other side.

"What are you -?" she started to ask, but Gibson pushed past her. Bishop shrugged apologetically.

"It's not Vic's fault I pressured -" Gibson started to say and she saw Lucas' expression close over.

"Hey!" Vic snapped loudly, and Gibson looked over to her in surprise. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Explaining to him -"

"I can speak for myself," Vic seethed. "I don't need other people to speak to Lucas for me."

"I told you this was a bad idea," Bishop said, glaring at Gibson.

"I just...I didn't want to get you in trouble," Gibson said, sounding deflated.

"She can't - that's not -" Lucas made a frustrated sound. 

"We're allowed to fight," Vic cut in. "God Gibson."

"And if you think for a second I'd believe that Vic let herself be pressured," Lucas shook his head. "Besides, this has nothing to do with you."

"But you got mad after -"

"Vic understands there's parts of my job I can't tell her about," Lucas cut in. "And I understand that from a team dynamic view, there's going to be stuff she doesn't tell me. That's okay - I trust her to escalate to the appropriate channel -"

"Which by the way is not actually Lucas, as there's just a couple of ranks between us first," Vic said sarcastically.

"I  _am_ angry at the two of you for lying," Lucas said, glaring at Bishop and Gibson. "It was a fucking stupid thing to do."

"We didn't want anyone to get in trouble," Bishop said quietly.

"God, it would have been just a reprimand," Lucas said, glancing up as if for strength. "Who else knows that you lied?"

"Miller knew as well," Vic replied.

"Okay. Vic, take him aside and let him know that if he wants his best friend to keep his job we must never speak of this again," Lucas said.

"You'd fire him over this?" Bishop asked incredulously.

"My job and his are on the line here," Lucas said bitterly. "I  _should_ fire him for lying to HR. I really should. If HR knew about this, they would absolutely push for his contract to be terminated - we were this close to having to fire him before. But Gibson you're a good firefighter and I don't want to do that."

"You're violating your probation," Jack's shoulders slumped, and his eyes widened in realisation.

"We never talk about this again," Lucas repeated firmly. "Nobody ever talks about this again." He glanced at his watch. "Now, will the two of you go somewhere because you've taken up four of the remaining eight minutes I had before I have to go."

"Lounge," Vic said firmly, shooing them out of her kitchen, looking back to Lucas with a sigh. "Sorry."

"They really think you need protecting from me?" he said, sounding hurt and disappointed.

"I don't," Vic said flatly. "I think their presence here is entirely inappropriate and I plan on yelling at them afterwards."

Lucas gave her a wry smile. "I'd pity them, but I'm actually quite irritated at them. Anyway. Where were we?"

"Maybe in future - because I think it could be a useful prompt - we should say something more like, can we condition six this conversation?" Vic suggested quietly.

"Hm," Lucas' brow furrowed. 

"Sometimes, I just..." she stepped closer, reaching for his tie and resting her hand on his chest. "When we talk at work sometimes it's fine and sometimes I need my head to be at work, you know? I think we need to be able to say to each other that we can't...talk. Not at that moment."

"I absolutely understand," he said, touching her cheek gently, and Vic knew he was thinking of times they were at a scene together. "Actually, I think it could be a good idea. Just it felt awful -"

"Not like how I said it yesterday," Vic agreed immediately. "More a collaborative decision."

"Okay," he nodded.

"I love you," Vic said, moving her hands to rest on his shoulders. "So much."

Lucas smiled, lines around his eyes deepening, gently taking her face in his hands. "I love you too. Always. No matter what."

They shared a sweet, quick kiss. 

"I gotta go to work," he said reluctantly, glancing into the lounge where Gibson and Bishop were sitting awkwardly.

"Yeah," Vic sighed. "I'll deal with them. Sorry about that."

His phone beeped. "Work," he said, giving her a quick kiss. "Love you. See you tonight."

"Love you too," Vic replied, and he left. She took a breath, and walked into the living room where Bishop and Gibson were sitting awkwardly.

"Don't ever do that again," she settled for saying bluntly. "He's my boyfriend. We are allowed to fight, we are allowed to get angry at each other, and if we do, it's none of your business."

" _That_ was a fight?" Maya asked incredulously. "That's your version of fighting?" Vic looked at her in confusion.

"I expected...more shouting," Jack said.

Vic shrugged. "We've shouted at each other before. We both hated it. I try not to shout, and Lucas does too," She paused. "We love each other. That kind of makes every fight really simple. No fight is more important than that fact."

"I'm sorry," Jack said after a pause, and a nudge from Maya. "I just didn't want you to have trouble because of me; I just wanted to explain -"

"Lucas will take explanations from me," Vic interrupted. "If he'd listen to you and not to me then we  _would_ have a problem. Anyway. Breakfast?"

* * *

 

Breakfast was an odd affair; at times boisterously loud and at others, awkward and quiet.

Vic barely noticed, she was so wrapped up in her own thoughts. When their breakfasts finally came (she hated this place, they were always super slow, but they were right between everyone's houses), Travis leaned over and nudged her.

"What's eating you?" he asked.

"Nothing," Vic replied automatically.

"Right," he drawled sarcastically.

"When did you know you wanted to marry Michael?" the question fell from her mouth quietly.

"Oh, like, I don't know? I think we were like, eighteen months in and ..." Travis' eyes narrowed at her. "Vi-ic. Vic! You've only had your new hobby a few months!"

"Shh," she hissed, quickly glancing at the rest of the team who were busy laughing about something Miller had said. "I'm not saying I want to marry him right now or anything!" Vic protested. "I just... I don't know... I probably would... if he wants... some day..."

"I knew pretty much right away," Vic glanced over with a start to see Warren turn towards them.

"Sorry, I didn't see you -"

Ben ignored her. "When I met Miranda," a broad smile crept across his face, and Vic and Travis exchanged amused glances. "I knew that she was special. I _knew_ she was - oh please, don't  _either_ of the two of you give me that look. You are both just as bad!"

Vic ignored him. "So you, like, eighteen months, you, right away," she pointed to each in turn. "Okay. Both successful marriages. Both at opposite ends of the spectrum."

"You really think you're ready for that?" Travis asked gently. 

"Well, not right now," Vic said defensively. "Just. You know. I never really thought about getting married before, never really - that's not - but now like, thinking about him, it sounds kind of nice?" 

"Vic, marriage is a big deal. You gotta be sure about it," Travis said seriously. "Don't rush into it - I know that  _a lot_ has been going on for you but just make sure it's something you want. Really think about it."

She looked at Warren who shrugged. "He's right, but also, when you know you know," he said cheerfully.

"You two are giving me contradictory advice," she accused.

"What brought this on, anyway?" Travis asked.

Vic sighed. "I kind of said something I shouldn't have to him, because I was stressed, and then we had a fight but it was... breaking up is just not on the cards. I ... we can work through it. Whatever it is."

"Let me repeat," Travis said. "You've only been dating him for a few months."

"Isn't the whole reason people talk about being with someone for ages before getting married so that you have time to get to know them?" Vic pointed out. "I know what Lucas is like when he's stressed, when he's looking at potentially losing his job, when he's dreaming about children he couldn't save, when he's happy, silly, goofy, tired, angry...we've been through a lot and I don't reckon it can get much more stressful than what's happened in the last couple of weeks."

"That's a pretty fair answer," Warren offered.

"I'm just saying," Travis was starting to sound defensive. "I just think you need to think about this properly. And wait, like, at least till you've been together a year."

"Mmh," Vic said noncommittally. "Like I said. Just wondering. No big deal."

"Big deal?! It is a big deal -" Travis exclaimed.

"Wait, what's a big deal?" Andy asked, looking over.

"Nothing," Vic said quickly. "Nothing."

 


	22. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for locker room talk from De Vrietz, Price, Collins, and Marks

The first shift back after the _Lieutenant Incident_  as Vic had taken to thinking of it in her head was weird.

Not having Jack there didn't require too much of an adjustment; he'd been gone for so long and only been back a short while. But not having Herrera there was profoundly odd, as it completely changed the dynamic.

"Line up!" Sullivan bellowed, and everyone raced downstairs to the barn. Vic slowed as she spotted the Academy kid that Herrera had mentored a bit - what was her name? Kate? looking uncomfortable in a shiny new uniform.

"Team, this is our new rookie, Kathleen Noonan," Sullivan said. "Line up."

They all fell into line, and Sullivan did a brief inspection.

"Now we're still a staff member down," Sullivan said. "What we'll do is have Bishop and Miller on the engine. Myself and Hughes on ladder, Warren and Montgomery on aid car. Noonan, I'll get you to be on the engine with Bishop and Miller, but if the ladder gets called out we will take her with us."

"Sir," Bishop replied crisply. Sullivan disappeared back into his office, and the team gathered around the new rookie.

"I'm Lieutenant Maya Bishop," Maya said. "That's Dean Miller, Travis Montgomery, Ben Warren, and Vic Hughes."

"Hi," Noonan looked nervous. "Uh. Lieutenant Herrera's not here?"

The team exchanged glances.

"She's away for the next couple of weeks," Travis said easily. 

"There's a bit of reshuffling going on," Maya added. "They're just moving lieutenants around the shifts. This shift will ultimately have Lieutenant Jack Gibson and - not sure who the other one is yet."

"Lieutenant Gibson's away too?" Noonan asked.

"Yeah, got a month off," Dean said, stretching.

"Lucky him," Noonan said. 

"Yeah," Vic gave a strained laugh, and Noonan looked at her, eyes widening. Vic glanced desperately at Maya, who took the hint.

"Let's start with chores," Maya said.

* * *

 

Greg Allen shifted uncomfortably. He went to these monthly lunches because, like any organisation, to get anywhere in the SFD you needed allies. Jason Marks had been his lieutenant back in the day, and when Greg had been promoted to Battalion Chief, Jason had invited him along to this lunch which he sort of chaired. 

And Greg had kept coming, because, well, he did owe Jason (his life, a couple of times over; and for his sponsorship that had helped Greg get promoted to Captain) and politically he mostly agreed with Jason.

Lucas Ripley was an excellent firefighter, that you couldn't deny. The man had  _instincts_. And he was a good leader; affable, polite, but could be terrifyingly stern. Greg had been on the receiving end of a lecture from Ripley precisely once, when he'd been captain and the other man had been the on-call battalion chief. Ripley had chewed him out for getting too hands on.

_"If you're holding a hose," Ripley had said. "You are focussing on that hose, and not the situation. You need to stand back - a task focussed incident commander gets people killed because he can't see the impending flashover."_

It had been a valuable lesson, and Greg knew it had made him a better firefighter.

But Ripley's group of allies were liberal to the point of folly. A large part of it was Frankel, demanding the SFD change to make it easier for women. Greg had no problem with women in the department; he wasn't like De Vrietz or Collins who seemed to think that a woman couldn't wield a fire hose as well as a man, but women needed to meet the same standards as men. 

Actively trying to recruit specific groups was also discriminatory. Under your turnouts, it didn't matter what colour or sexuality you were, but they didn't need to find these special snowflakes to make the department 'more diverse'. What they needed was to recruit the best, and going around the disadvantaged neighbourhoods to try to baby some minority groups in simply took away from a more general recruitment drive.

And trying to make the SFD green was a bit ridiculous when the real problem facing the climate (presuming you believed in climate change) was the big factories that chewed through fuel; not a Fire Department in Seattle.

Having said all of that, Greg didn't like the tone these monthly lunches with Jason and other like-minded battalion chiefs sometimes took. De Vrietz always seemed to go to the lowest common denominator in any discussion, and now was no exception.

"I mean, station 19's clearly the station to go to if you want girls that will put out," De Vrietz was chortling. "Lucky Gibson. Bishop has a great body, and you know what they say about Latino girls." He waggled his eyebrows. "Hughes must be a good lay for Ripley to put his career on the line for her."

"It's a damn shame Frankel gets all the hot women in her battalion," Price agreed. "There's like two chicks in my battalion, one of them is a fugly-ass dyke and the other is almost as ancient as Frankel."

Greg winced inwardly. He hated this kind of locker-room talk. But he also didn't want to become their target, so he stayed silent.

"Frankel," Jason makes a face. "Man I can't wait for the day that that bitch oversteps and loses her temper and we can get rid of her."

"We should've pushed over what's his name? That captain," De Vrietz complained.

"A mediocre captain?" Jason shook his head. "Nah, you saw how HR backed her on that guy."

Allen glanced at his watch and stood. "Got a meeting with one of my captains," he said with some relief. "See you later."

He quickly left amidst a chorus of farewells, and got into his car with a sigh. Sometimes he hated politics, and the fact that he had to play nice with some of those twerps. 

* * *

"Does he want children?" Warren asked out of no-where as they drove back to the station from a call.

"Sorry, what?" Vic spluttered.

"Well, you were thinking about marrying the guy," Ben pointed out. "It's a pretty important question."

"I don't know," Vic said, shaking her head.

"Do you want children?" Ben pressed.

Vic glanced over, her brow furrowing automatically. "I don't know," she repeated, more slowly. "I mean. I never really thought about it." Now that was a lie. She had thought about it, ever since that day with the safe surrender baby. Lucas had been...really attractive when greeting the baby, and it had been impossible not to think that if she had his babies that they'd be cute.

But she didn't feel ready for them. Wasn't sure if she wanted them. Her mom had worked long shifts as a midwife, and Vic had promised herself years ago that she wouldn't have kids just to ditch them at a neighbours or daycare like she had been.

And her job necessarily involved long hours. As did Lucas'. So kids would require a massive adjustment to their lifestyles if they were going to be the kind of parents she wanted to be for any hypothetical kids that they had.

"I don't know if I'm ready to settle down that much," she settled for saying, as Ben seemed to be expecting more of an answer. "I mean, we're still..."she blushed a bit, waving her hand. "Still enjoying the spice."

Ben laughed. "Oh Vic, there can be plenty of spice in a marriage," he assured her. "Even when you have a kid."

* * *

 "Thank you, by the way, Vic," Kat said at dinner that night. Vic looked up, a little confused. 

"What you said to the Chief, advice for us," the rookie continued.

"What's this?" Dean asked with a grin, as Vic dropped her gaze back to her plate, wishing she were somewhere else entirely.

"The Chief gave this great talk on advice for new firefighters," Kat said eagerly. "He said that he'd asked Vic to help, and so he told us her tips."

Vic could feel the questioning gazes of her team-mates on her and shrugged, still looking at her plate. "It's been a while since Lucas was a new firefighter. He asked me what I wished I'd known before starting."

"Which was...?" Travis prompted.

"Take a breath at every scene and think for a moment, number two, people will die and to just be aware everyone reacts differently. Number three was to make sure you learn something from every scene. Number four is to obey orders, and ask later for clarification. Number five was always to say yes if someone offers you water and number six was to preventatively urinate," Kat summarised quickly.

Vic looked up in alarm. "You  _memorised them_?"

Kat grinned, and pulled a small notebook from her uniform pants, opening it to the front page. "And wrote them down right here."

"They're good tips," Maya said loyally, only a hint of teasing in her tone.

"It's pretty sweet he's asking you for help with his speeches," Travis teased, nudging her shoulder.

"Shut up, Travis," Vic said without any real anger.

"What's he like?" Kat asked, taking another bite of her pasta. The table went silent. "I mean, he seemed nice." She looked up, suddenly realising that everyone was staring at her. "Oh. Um. Do we not talk about him?"

Everyone's gaze shifted to Vic, who gave a half-shrug. "Not usually like this, but I mean, everyone here knows him."

"Oh, does he come by the station often - that's another question I shouldn't have asked," Kat cut herself off.

"You'll meet him eventually," Vic said noncommittally. "All the captains meet with the chief every month."

* * *

 Lucas absently took a bite of his pasta as he skimmed over the latest report of station 23's performance. Despite shuffling in a new lieutenant, their response times hadn't improved. The captain there was not particularly brilliant, but he was a solid pick, and changing captains again would -

His thought process was interrupted by his phone ringing, with a number he didn't recognise, and he swallowed hurriedly and answered.

"Ripley," he said.

"Sir," the voice sounded familiar. "It's Gibson." He hesitated. "Was wondering if that offer for beer was still good."

Lucas sighed inwardly but gave a nod of the head that the other man couldn't see. "Yes. Where do you -"

"Actually, I'm kind of outside." There was a tentative knock at the door, and Lucas got up, moving over to open it. He saw Gibson on the other side and hung up, opening the door wider and gesturing him in.

Gibson was carrying a six-pack, and he plonked it down onto Vic's kitchen table across from Lucas' laptop. 

"Sorry, you're in the middle of dinner," Gibson said belatedly.

"Hardly the first thing you're interrupted," Lucas said dryly. "Have you eaten? I've got some leftovers."

"I don't -" he began to demur.

"Have you eaten?" Lucas pinned him with his gaze, and the other man squirmed before shaking his head slowly. "Okay." He went over and emptied the remaining pasta into a bowel, grabbing a fork and setting in front of Gibson.

"Thanks, sir," Gibson said awkwardly.

"You don't think it's weird for you to call me sir given the context?" Lucas asked acerbically, dropping into his own seat. Jack pushed a beer towards him.

Gibson opened his mouth, paused, then let out a small bark of laughter. "Well, actually, I don't know what you go by," he admitted. "Vic calls you Lucas and Luke, Sullivan calls you Luke - "

"Either's fine. Or my nickname back in the day was Rip," Lucas cut him off.

"Okay, Rip," Gibson said, clearly trying it on for size.

Lucas glanced over to the screen, quickly noted where he was, and then closed his laptop.

"Work?" Gibson asked, taking a bite of the pasta. "Hey, this is good!"

"That's the thing about pasta, you can't mess it up too badly," Lucas said. "Yeah. It's nothing urgent." He stayed silent, and Gibson, after taking a big swig of beer, sighed.

"I wanted to apologise for the other day," he said. "I'll apologise to Vic as well. I ... it was none of my business. I sometimes...ask Miller, he's always talking to me about boundaries and I really just didn't want to have caused issues for her."

Lucas sighed, taking a swig of his beer. "Apology accepted. Make sure you apologise to Vic too. It's...she doesn't like being patronised."

Gibson nodded. "I will." 

They ate in silence for a few minutes. "You don't owe me for keeping quiet about you two," Gibson said slowly. "If you - you can say something. To HR. About me lying."

"What you've done has been stupid," Lucas said bluntly. "You didn't need to lie about who knew. And this isn't a quid pro quo thing. If I thought for a second that you'd pressured either Herrera or Bishop, or that you were anything other than an impulsive young man, I'd have chucked you out on your ear. But while I don't pretend to know either of those women particularly well, I do know that they're not the sort to be easily swayed or cowed."

"But you're a good firefighter, Jack. We'd tagged you as a potential one to make their way up the ranks. I don't want to see that potential completely thrown away because of a stupid decision you made to lie about something you didn't need to lie about."

Gibson was quiet for a moment. "I really appreciate it," he said earnestly. "I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't a firefighter."

"Believe me when I say I get it," Lucas said dryly and the two men shared a smile of understanding.

"I also appreciate you, you know, doing this," Gibson waved at the meal and the beers. "It's...Dean's place can be quiet."

"Quiet can be good," Lucas commented.

Gibson nodded. "It was quiet in the vents. Like, I know it wasn't quiet up there, but it was. The PASS alarm kind of fades into the background after a while."

Lucas tilted his head, studying the younger man. "If you want to ask me, ask," he said, a little more brusquely than he had intended as he took another large swig of his beer. 

"Did you think about us, in the building?" Gibson burst out. "Hughes was in there too."

"I know," Lucas' heart contracted. He'd been relieved to see her come out of the building, doubly so when he saw she had Montgomery. While he'd been attracted to her, he hadn't specifically felt more relieved that she'd got out than any of the others at the time. Now, it almost physically hurt, the thought that he might have left her there to die. "I thought about you. All of you."

He took a deep breath. "I don't know if you know but I helped in 9/11. Was in Manhattan on holiday. Went into the North Tower," he slid a glance at Gibson to see the younger man listening intently. "I helped get people out of a stairwell, but really didn't achieve all that much because then we heard the structure creaking, and then we heard over the radio that the South Tower had collapsed. There was dust everywhere. The alarms were blaring. We just legged it. We got out of there, and then the engine that I'd gone to help got assigned to Building 7. I know what it's like inside a skyscraper. I know exactly how all of you felt. But with explosive material and fire inside the building the chance of collapse was high and I had to minimise the number of people I was going to lose."

Gibson was frowning. "You must've been early in your career."

"I was a rookie," Lucas nodded.

"So you've had PTSD your whole career?" he asked. Lucas nodded. "My therapist says that repeated trauma to these kinds of events can make it worse and a lot of people end up quitting."

"I've never thought seriously about it," Lucas replied. "When it flares a big part of my PTSD is guilt around those I haven't saved. Continuing in this job is my way of...saving more people to balance my book.

Gibson nodded slowly, then abruptly changed the subject to Lucas' relief. "You a football fan?"

* * *

 

"Hey," Vic grinned as he stepped inside the door. A last minute engine call out had meant she'd missed him that morning, arriving home a good half-hour after he'd left. "How was your day?" She turned her music down.

"Actually, not too bad," he replied, stooping to kiss her. He wandered into her room, returning a couple of minutes later in just his uniform pants and plain white undershirt. "Ho was your day?"

"Restful," Vic said. "Yesterday's shift was a bit busy, and we've got this new rookie."

"Who'd you get again?" Lucas asked, picking up a knife and starting to cut the tomatoes she pushed towards him.

"Kat Noonan," Vic replied. "She's not _bad_ , she just...doesn't stop talking. Over-eager. Like a puppy."

Lucas laughed. "All rookies are like that. Bet you were too." 

Vic made a face at him, and Lucas simply grinned more. "You were cute, I bet." He leaned down, stealing a quick kiss.

"You can talk," Vic decided to go on the offensive, nudging him with her elbow. "Mr I-Was-Born-To-Be-A-Firefighter. Bet they'd ask you for a left handed Halligan and you'd run around delightedly looking for it."

Lucas narrowed his eyes at her playfully. "You've been spending too much time gossiping with Pruitt Herrera," he accused.

Vic threw her head back and laughed in delight. "You mean I'm right?!" she exclaimed.

"Hey, hey," he objected, dropping the knife to the counter, and grabbing at her waist. "No mocking me."

"Mr Left Handed Halligan," she teased, winding her arms around his neck as he pinned her against the counter. "You would've been so cute, looking for that." She leaned up, pressing her mouth to his. She lost track of time as they kissed, his hands tracing circular patterns on her hips.

The oven timer went off, interrupting their make-out session, and Vic reluctantly pulled back, both of them breathless and a little dazed.

"Finish the salad," she instructed, turning to take the chicken out of the oven. He kissed her behind the ear before stepping back and going back to his chopping board. The song changed, and on came Katy Perry's _Teenage Dream_.

It had been an unexpected delight, to learn that Lucas just loved music. He was more into acoustic-y and older and rock-y music than she was, but he was receptive to anything. So they'd merged their playlists, and they listened to old music, new music, rock music, indie, Broadway, Disney, pop... He wasn't particularly into rap music (" _middle-aged white men should not do rap, Victoria_ ") but that was okay because she didn't much like country.

" _You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream_ ," he sang along to the song as he cut tomatoes and Vic set the table, joining in belatedly in a quick harmony. Making dinner was quick with the two of them, and so in no time at all they were sitting down at her table, knees brushing against each other.

Vic had spent a good portion of the day thinking about ways to delicately broach the topic of children with him, but sitting there now with him humming along (now to one of his songs) all of her planning abandoned her.

"What do you think about kids?" she blurted out, forcing herself to keep her eyes on his face.

Lucas choked a little on his water, slowly setting the cup down and looking at her with a little smile playing around the corner of his mouth.

"Generally, I like them. They can be fun," Lucas said, pausing and obviously carefully constructing what he wanted to say. Vic waited patiently. "Are you asking if I want kids with you?"

She nodded minutely.

"Yes, if you do," he said simply. "And I mean that. I ... after being divorced I sort of figured I'd never have kids, and I am okay with that idea, so if you don't want them, that's okay. If you want to have children, I'd be okay with that too."

"You must have a preference," Vic pressed. Lucas shrugged.

"I mean, our kids would be beautiful," he said. "And I think you'd be the most amazing mom. But honestly, Vic, I never thought I'd have kids. Never thought I was going to be able to have a successful long-term relationship."

"We can't exactly call ourselves a long term relationship," Vic remarked dryly. "Not seven months in."

He pinned her with his intense blue eyes. "I intend and hope on this being a very long term relationship," he said softly. She felt warm and blushed a little under his gaze. "Do you want kids, Vic?"

"I don't know," Vic said honestly. "Before I met you, the answer was definitely no, I couldn't see myself with a baby. It's a bit different with you. I kinda think our kids would be cute." She paused, but figured, in for a penny, in for a pound. "I just...I don't think I'll be ready for a while to have kids. And I have reservations about bringing a kid into the world with us as parents constantly on shift work and at risk of losing our lives at work."

Lucas nodded slowly. "Well, we can work out the details if you decide you want kids, but I agree with your reservations. There are options, and we could look at them if we wanted to go down that road. But I promise you I will never ask you to nor expect you to give up your job and become a housewife unless you really want to."

A wave of relief went through her, and she reached out to take his hand. "It's just, I get you'd want to keep your job, you're the Chief-"

"I wouldn't have to be," Lucas interrupted. "I'm serious, Eggy. If you decide you want kids, from what you're saying, you'd want them years down the track. My pension will be generous, and I'm sure I could pick up work like talks and training that's a normal, safe, business hours job." He narrowed his eyebrows. "You're cake, remember?"

Vic frowned, a little confused. "You're cake," he repeated, "and everything else - jobs, kids, whatever - is frosting. I prefer cake to frosting."

"That's a terrible metaphor," she said with a groan, and got up to clear the table. Lucas put away their leftovers as she stacked the dishwasher.

"Did I answer the question?" he asked.

"Yes," Vic said, closing the dishwasher door as she put in the last dish. "I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay with it."

He grinned at her, and they each took a couple of steps forward, Lucas reaching out and wrapping his arms around her. 

"While I'm working out whether I want kids," she said in a low tone. "I figure we could at least try you out...?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "You want me to show you how I'd make a baby?"

"Exactly," Vic waggled her eyebrows at him. 

"I reckon I can do that for you," he said in a throaty voice, giving her a wink before leaning in for an unhurried kiss.


	23. Cornered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: De Vrietz and his usual misogynistic crap is in this chapter. There's also a brief non-consensual scene, and subsequent disassociation on the part of the character involved. If you want further detail on that prior to reading, jump down to the end chapter notes.

Vic took back everything negative she'd ever said about Ben Warren as her rookie.

Kathleen Noonan was a thousand percent worse.

Ben had had his faults; he had always talked about how  _when he was a surgeon_ but he had been competent - more than competent actually - when it came to aid car duty. She'd never had to hastily yelp at Ben, for example, that he needed to turn the oxygen flow  _on_   when you put an oxygen mask on a patient otherwise they'll just be breathing back in what they breathed out into the mask. Nor had she ever had to lunge for the extension line to connect to an IV as blood poured out of an IV that a rookie had just put in. (Blood was a pain to scrub out of the aid car floor. She made Kat do it). 

And Kat was so  _slow_. Warren, being used to being a surgeon, took a  _very_ quick (almost too brief sometimes) story on what had happened. Kat seemed to take an hour to find out about someone's allergies (it was a simple yes/no question and yet somehow when Vic turned around, Kat and the patient were discussing how the patient's great niece was allergic to long haired cats but not short haired cats. Vic couldn't have cared less). Miller, who was ostensibly on aid car duty with them, was too amused by the whole situation (and the fact that Kat seemed to have latched onto Vic) to be of any help at all, preferring instead to smirk at her.

So by the time lunchtime rolled around, Vic was well and truly irritated. It was made worse by Kat trying to make small talk and if it weren't for the fact that she'd only been able to take two forkfuls of lunch, Vic would've been grateful for the job. She, Kat, and Miller piled into the aid car, speeding off to the call.

And her day got worse as the patient's wife recognised her.

"Oh my, Arnold," said Mrs Betsy Lawrence. "This is the young lady the Fire Chief's been stepping out with! You remember. From the news."

Miller turned a laugh into a hacking cough, turning away abruptly to hide his amusement. Kat's eyes widened, and Vic determinedly avoided her gaze as she continued to kneel on the floor and check Arnold Lawrence's head for injuries. [The elderly man had been walking up his hallway when he'd felt suddenly light-headed and fallen].

"Oh yes," said Mr Lawrence, looking at Vic disapprovingly. "Bad idea, that, to get involved with your boss. Never works out well for anyone's careers."

Miller's coughing abruptly stopped while Kat looked away awkwardly.

"Arnold," scolded Betsy. "He's very handsome and it's all very romantic."

"Does this hurt, sir?" Vic asked, ignoring the conversation and prodding at his neck.

"No," he grumbled. "And young lady, listen to me, you can't trust a handsome man. Handsome men like that are after only one thing -"

"That's why I've always been able to trust you," his wife sniped. "He seems like such a nice young man, polite, with integrity, and he was so _passionate_ in defending her during the hearings -"

"Your hip hurt?" Vic interrupted desperately, noticing his leg was sticking out at an odd angle.

"Only if I move it," he offered.

"I think your hip is broken," Vic said briskly as Miller returned with the patient board. They quickly slid it under him, strapping him onto the board before lifting him up with a grunt. "We'd best take you through to Grey Sloan."

"Ma'am, do you have a way to get there?" Kat asked, and Vic silently thanked her. Mrs Lawrence promised to follow them in her car, and fortunately any further discussion of Lucas was put to the side as they transported him to Grey Sloan and handed over.

Vic was surprised, relieved, and grateful when Miller made no mention of the whole incident when they got back to the station. (Kat was easily silenced with a glare).

* * *

 

Her gratefulness towards Dean lasted only until dinner. Vic should've known it would be too good to last.

"Anyway, Vic has competition for the Chief," he chortled, taking a bite of his meat loaf. "This old lady on a call today seemed quite enamoured really."

Vic groaned, "Miller!" 

"He's  _so very handsome_ ," Dean said in a falsetto. "And  _it's all so romantic_."

"Miller," Vic growled.

"Well, she's not wrong, he is very easy on the eyes," Travis immediately joined in on the teasing.

"Wouldn't have thought of him as a romantic though," Maya said mock-thoughtfully. 

"Vic's not really a hearts and rainbows kind of girl," Travis hummed. "But when someone who's  _that handsome_ is being -"

"You're all the worst," Vic interrupted, glaring around the room. "The absolute worst."

"Oh please, 'Miss When Did You Know You Wanted To Get Married, I'm Asking For Absolutely No Reason'," Ben joined in. Vic shot him her most vicious glare as Maya gasped.

"You're thinking of  _marrying_ him?!" she exclaimed.

"This is a pretty new relationship," Dean added in concern. "Anyway, I thought you weren't the marrying type."

"I wasn't," Vic said into her dinner, feeling herself blush. "I just... Things are good. Things are... really good."

"Did you talk to him about whether he wanted kids?" Ben teased.

"Warren!" Vic growled, as Travis literally, and painfully  _squealed_.

Ben looked at her with an unapologetic grin, as Dean slowly grinned at her.

"Awww Vic's in lo-ove and wants to make some  _very handsome babies_ ," Maya cooed.

"Will all of you just shut up," Vic said. "I don't want kids yet. Maybe ever. And it's not - we  _haven't_ talked about getting married. I don't even know if he wants to get married again."

"I do," Dean said with a laugh. "He told us at breakfast that he plans on marrying you."

"He was just saying that to mess with you, and with me," Vic muttered.

"During his Q&A session with us he said that you shouldn't start a relationship with someone else in the department unless you're a hundred percent sure," Kat offered, a small grin around her lips as she took a bite of her dinner.

"What was he doing talking about that?!" Vic asked in surprise.

"Someone asked him about relationships as a firefighter working shifts," Kat shrugged. 

"Vic, if he doesn't want to marry you and make lots of adorable curly-haired caramel babies then I'll eat my hat and tap-dance naked down the street," Travis said bluntly.

"Can we please talk about something else?" Vic said desperately. "And if any of you _ever_ mention this conversation to him I will _murder_ you."

Any change in topic was forestalled by a callout of the ladder, engine and aid cars, and everyone immediately abandoned their dinners, racing downstairs. 

"MVA," Sullivan told them as he came out of his office, joining them. "Semi-trailer slid out, colliding with a Greyhound bus and a couple of cars."

* * *

The scene was utter chaos. Vehicle parts were scattered around the highway, and there was an overturned greyhound bus. Stations 12 and 88 were already there, working on opening the bus doors and helping people out of the bus, as well as helping extricate from a couple of the cars.

"Station 19!" Vic didn't recognise the incident commander, a Battalion Chief with balding red hair, an inch or so taller than her who was starting to go plump. Sullivan led them over. "I want you to set up a triage area for this mass casualty event. We're going to have a lot of walking wounded, put them over there; anyone who's got a moderate injury there, and those with critical injuries there for immediate transport. We've got more aid cars incoming."

"Yes sir," Sullivan replied crisply, and started to direct them.

"So  _you're_ Hughes," the incident commander caught her sleeve, and Vic automatically pulled away, feeling her skin crawl as he looked her over.

"Battalion Chief De Vrietz, I need Hughes over here," Sullivan interjected quickly, pointing her with Warren and Kat over to the opposite side of the triage area to the command car.

"Sir," Vic was only too glad to scurry away.

Medic One were set up near to them, which distracted Ben as he kept glancing over.

"Warren," Vic hissed. "I know you're trying to admire them, but we gotta focus here."

"They're going to get all the fun stuff," he complained.

"Fun stuff?" Vic put her hands on her hips. "Warren, these people are going to be potentially catastrophically injured. That's not fun. We need to triage, and patch up what we can." He looked a little abashed, and redirected his attention to their area while Vic glanced at Kat. "We need to be quick. Most of these people will probably have only minor injuries - and by that I mean broken arms, head lacs. Those people go to the walking wounded section with a green tag. By moderate injuries we mean haemodynamically stable patients with bruising to their abdomens and chests who get yellow tags. Critical are the haemodynamically unstable, they go straight to hospital with a red tag. Anyone who's arrested or who has really severe injuries is dead. Black tag. Don't do anything for them except make them comfortable."

Vic braced herself as she saw the first patients being carried over to them and placed on gurneys. She checked her first one.

"What's your name?" she asked. Airway was okay.

"Jill Poulton," the middle-aged lady replied, in tears. Chest was rising well; Vic quickly listened - her breathing was the same on both sides.

"Where do you hurt?" 

"Everywhere," Jill sobbed.

The blood pressure came up - it was fine. Vic had a look at the woman's belly; there was a lot of bruising and it was painful when she pushed.

"Yellow tag," Vic said. Kat grabbed the yellow cards they had, and quickly scribbled the woman's name and date of birth. 

"Any allergies?" Vic asked. The woman said no. "Medical conditions?" Also a no. "Okay, Kat, tape the tag to her C-spine collar and we're going to move her to the moderately wounded section.

When they got back, there were three more patients to triage, and Vic sighed.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Vic briefly debated whether or not to hit the bunks for a bit of rest - she needed it. They'd spent hours on the scene, first getting through the fifty-seven injured people and then helping with clean-up, and now, at five am, she was kind of hungry and kind of thirsty and definitely exhausted. But she was on breakfast duty in literally an hour and a half, and if she napped now she'd just be more tired later. So, with a sigh, she set out flour, milk, and eggs and started to mix up her Mom's old crepe mixture for the team. (Plus, it was a Saturday now, and she could cuddle with Lucas in a few hours which beat the prospect of her cold, narrow bunk).

"Busy night," De Vrietz offered, leaning against the kitchen counter facing Vic. 

"Sir," she replied politely, continuing to whisk the crepe mix. "I thought you were debriefing with Captain Sullivan."

"We're finished," the man said.

There was a moment of silence, and Vic saw in her peripheral vision De Vrietz take a few more steps towards her, inching up into her personal space. She stepped back, turning to the sink to rinse the whisk.

"You know," she could feel De Vrietz step up closer behind her. "I was surprised at Ripley." Vic stiffened. "Didn't think he'd have the balls to actually fuck a girl in the SFD, he's always been obsessed with protocol. Then I was surprised that he picked _you_ when Herrera and Bishop are clearly up for it as well."

Vic was shaking with rage, forcing herself to keep her head down, absently scrubbing at the half-congealed lumps on the whisk.

"You must be good in bed, how about you show me, Hughes? I'll make it worth your while," he said in a low voice.

"Get the hell away from me," she spat, half-glancing behind her to see she couldn't turn without brushing against him. Unwilling to touch him, she stayed where she was, tense. "Not interested."

"Oh come on," he stepped behind her, pressing himself against her back, one arm snaking around her throat while the other clumsily groped at her breasts. "Everyone knows you're open for business."

Vic desperately shoved an elbow back into his stomach hard, and he grunted, doubling over. She whirled, and punched just as Sullivan had taught her, snapping her elbow forward directly from her shoulder and watching in satisfaction as her fist _pushed_ into his nose. Blood exploded over her hand, and she felt the crunch of bone beneath her knuckles.

"Get the FUCK away from me!" she shouted.

"You fucking bitch," he snarled, raising his hand. 

Suddenly, Miller was there, giant shoulders pushing in between them and he simply pushed De Vrietz back onto the ground.

"Stay away from her," Dean growled.

"What the hell is going on?!" a breathless Sullivan raced into the room, eyes widening as he took in the situation; a Battalion Chief on the ground with a bristling Miller standing in front of Vic who was nursing a bloodied hand. Maya was a step behind him, and immediately pushed past her captain to go straight to Vic.

"That bitch assaulted me, then he pushed me to the ground," De Vrietz pointed at them accusingly. Dean took a step forward.

"Miller, hold," Sullivan's voice cracked like a whip, as Travis, Ben, and Kat all came running. "Vic, what happened?"

Vic was so angry she could barely speak. "He came onto me. Grabbed me when I said no." 

"No I didn't," De Vrietz lied. "She tried to come onto me and when I said no, she punched me."

"You piece of shit!" Travis yelled, hurrying forward. Sullivan grabbed his wrist, yanking him back.

"Stop," Sullivan yelled. "Everyone stop. I'm going to call..." he looked a little lost, "I'm going to call Frankel. Frankel and Diaz."

"Sir, this isn't an SFD matter," Maya objected. "We need to call the police. He sexually assaulted her." Having Maya say it made her feel sick.

"No I didn't!" denied De Vrietz loudly.

De Vrietz's words sent a chill up Vic's spine, and suddenly she felt claustrophobic, too close to De Vrietz, and she propelled herself backwards, nearly losing her balance. Ben reached out to steady her, and Vic couldn't help but flinch away, seeing but sort of not registering the hurt expression on his face. Dean was shouting something at De Vrietz, but it felt like she was in a haze. Maya grabbed her elbow,  tacitly offering support.

She wasn't really sure what happened next; it all seemed to happen in a blur. Tanner and his partner arrived, and started separating them, taking statements.

Jenna asked her what happened. "He made a pass at me, I told him to go away," she could hear her own voice sounding eerily calm, but it felt like she was floating. "He put me in a chokehold and groped me. So I punched him. Then he went to hit me and then Miller was there." 

"Okay," Jenna said gently after a minute, looking at Vic. "Listen, we'll get a full statement later."

Frankel appeared at some point, looking at De Vrietz's nose then Vic's hand.

"Good girl," Frankel said with fierce satisfaction. "Oi you, police, you can't possibly need Hughes covered in blood. She needs to wash her hands. Bishop, take her to the ladies' and help her clean up." As Maya took her elbow, she could hear Frankel berating Sullivan, "why didn't you let her clean up? She's fucking covered in that shitstain's blood."

The blood had had a chance to dry, and once Vic started washing her hands, she couldn't seem to stop, furiously scrubbing to clean them. After a minute or so, Maya went to the door, and called something out. A few minutes later Kat entered the room with a clean sponge, opening the packet and handing it to Vic wordlessly.

When her hands were finally clean, Vic patted them dry, and realised distantly that her left hand was throbbing.

"Holy shit, I didn't see that under the blood," Maya swore, looking at her hand, and Vic looked down to see that it had swollen up and was bruised badly.

"It's fine," Vic said shortly, automatically.

"Let's get some ice on that," Maya said, and led her to the door. 

Stepping back in the Beanery was nerve-racking, and Vic chanted the teapot song in her mind as she tried to ignore everyone's stares. Tanner and Jenna were conversing quietly at the entrance of the dayroom. 

Vic reflexively put herself on the opposite end of the room to a scowling De Vrietz, unconsciously making sure her back was to a wall. Maya wordlessly brought an ice pack wrapped in a kitchen towel over, handing it to Vic.

"While the police work out whether to arrest that shithead," Frankel said bluntly, breaking the silence. "You need to be aware you can formally report him to HR, in addition to filing criminal charges. The criminal system will take years, but through the HR process, he can be dismissed and his pension stripped for this."

De Vrietz opened his mouth to say something, and Dean simply flexed his neck and shoulders.

"Say anything and I will hurt you," he said simply. "I'll take my chances on charges."

"Me too," Travis added, glaring at the Battalion Chief, who closed his mouth, glowering sullenly around the hostile room.

"Hughes?" Frankel prompted. "What would you like to do?"

Vic couldn't answer. Couldn't think, beyond a sudden desperate longing for Lucas to be there, to make everything all right. 

And then she heard a pair of voices, slowly growing louder as footsteps bounded up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Battalion Chief De Vrietz makes a (lewd and crude) pass at Vic, who declines. At that point, he wraps his arm around her neck and gropes at her breasts. She punches him; hard, and then disassociates.


	24. Rolling with the Punches

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the sexual assault in the last chapter, so trigger warnings for discussion of sexual assault (non-graphic) and disassociation.  
> Then there's more misogynistic talk.

Lucas wasn't paying any attention to Diaz as the two men entered the Beanery. He had clearly been caught on his morning run; he was in his running shorts and sleeveless shirt, his hair was a mess, and he was red and sweaty. Lucas had never looked more wonderful to her. He didn't spare a glance to De Vrietz, or to the team assembled around the room like it was a court hearing. 

Instead, his eyes locked to hers and he strode over, stopping a foot away.

Dimly she heard Sullivan hiss at Diaz, "what the fuck did you call Ripley here for? The last thing we need is him Lancelot-ing around the place!"

"I can't do anything to De Vrietz," hissed Diaz. 

"Besides, better the Riptide's not aimed at us," Frankel interjected.

Lucas looked her over, blue eyes concerned. "You hurt your hand," was what he said.

"I broke De Vrietz's nose," Vic replied, feeling numb.

A look of fierce satisfaction crossed his face. "I bet you did, Gryffindor girl," he said affectionately, gaze dropping to her hand again. "Can I see it?"

Vic nodded, and Bishop stepped away a little as Lucas stepped closer, his big hands gentle as he took off the ice pack and inspected her knuckles. He hissed in sympathy.

"I'm sorry," she said.

The look in his eyes was sharp. "What on earth for?"

"Punching him - I was just so angry -"

"You should be," he said firmly. "You did exactly the right thing."

"I should have put in a complaint -"

"No, you did the right thing breaking his nose," Lucas reiterated. "I hope you kneed him in the balls as well."

It startled a shaky smile out of her, and suddenly she needed his arms around her. Vic stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him tightly, her nose pressing against his chest and getting a full whiff of sweaty, gross, wonderful Lucas-smell. She was relieved that he didn't hesitate, returning her hug with carefully equal force, tucking his chin over her head.

"I'm so angry," she repeated, and suddenly it felt like the world clicked back together. She registered that her hand was throbbing, Lucas was smelly and sweaty but warm and real, his body firm against hers...

...and she was _furious_.

"I know," he said. "You should be." He paused. "I'm sorry."

Vic pushed him back, hands resting on his chest. He let go of her completely.

"This wasn't _your_ fault," she snapped angrily at him.

"Look at your _hand_ , Vic -"

"It's just my hand."

"It's not," he said, looking on the verge of tears. Her world felt like it was collapsing when the next words out of his mouth were, "I should never have -" and the roar in her ears nearly drowned out the rest of his sentence, "- bothered to try to keep this job when  _look_ at what's happening."

The world suddenly felt like it was firm again beneath her feet.

"This wasn't your fault," she repeated.

"You're being targeted because of me," he said, tears in his eyes, guilt evident on his face. "I'm sorry. If I resign now -"

"It won't help," she interrupted. "It wouldn't have helped in the first place; people always say that shit even if you're not sleeping with the boss." She couldn't hide the bitterness, and Lucas' face twisted further. "And you love your job and you're good at your job and I think you stay in your job as a middle finger to everyone. Besides. It's not your fault other men can't...can't take no for an answer."

She reached for his hand that was still holding the icepack, and maneouvred it to rest on top of her knuckles, pressing his hand on top of the icepack before taking her uninjured hand away. Vic was relieved he took the hint, and continued to hold the ice onto his knuckles.

"They want me to report it to HR," Vic said after a moment. Lucas nodded. "And the police."

"What do you think?"

"I think a grope and an offensive comment won't get him anything in the criminal courts," Vic said. "And HR -"

Her anger flared again, driving away the numbness that had threatened to creep back over. "I swear to god if they assign him to some sexual harassment training like you -"

" _Anti_ -sexual harassment training," Lucas quipped weakly, and Vic glared at him.

"You know, I was too relieved at the time that we weren't losing our jobs to really notice it, but I'm fucking pissed they assigned you to that," she said furiously.

"It's nothing -"

"Yes it is! It implies you sexually harassed me, which you didn't," she felt herself choke up, but powered through. "Even now, right then, you checked with me before you took my hand even though you  _know_ I consent -"

"I have never and will never take that for granted," Lucas interrupted quietly. "As I'm pretty sure the workshop will tell me; consent is a process."

"And that's precisely why you don't need the workshop," Vic spat. "It's a joke. An absolute joke. It's humiliating that you have to go to something like that, like I didn't consent every single step of the way. Hell, I was the one who invited you to my place."

"I went," Lucas shrugged. "I knew what I was doing. I'm glad I went. I just wish that you weren't being subjected to this crap as a consequence of my-"

"Our actions," Vic interrupted quietly, before continuing at a more conversational volume. "Anyway, whatever, what do you think?" He raised an eyebrow. "About reporting it to HR slash the police."

"Are you asking me or -?"

"Both."

"The Chief says the same thing every time something like this happens. You should report it. Often the punishment is inadequate, but unfortunately that's due to how the HR process tends to work, requiring warnings -" his tone was bitter. "Prior to me being able to dismiss anyone. In this case, I am not supposed to -"

"Formally or informally involve yourself," Vic quoted condition two.

"Exactly. The HR department will have to decide who or how that can happen if they think it should happen. But as the Chief, every complaint helps, because with each complaint the likelihood of real consequences increases; and in the wake of the 'me too' thing, your chances are probably better than ever. There's a lawyer available at SFD HQ to advise you on the criminal process, or you could speak to an independent lawyer about that."

He paused. "As me, I will support you one hundred percent with whatever you want to do, whatever you feel comfortable doing."

Vic sighed. "I just went through a huge HR thing and I don't know if I can do he said, she said -"

"It's not," both of them startled a bit as Dean interrupted awkwardly, and Vic belatedly realised that yes, her entire team and a couple of the top brass were still in the room. Along with De Vrietz and Tanner and Jenna. Everyone looked awkward, but Vic was surprised to find she actually didn't care.

"It's not he said, she said," Dean said, looking somewhat ashamed. "I...look, I was reading in the day room, and I saw him go past, and I didn't hear exactly what he said to you from the dayroom but I heard you tell him to get away from you and I didn't like the way he'd been looking at you all day so I got up and I saw you at the sink and-"

Vic dropped her gaze to the floor, feeling oddly...violated? humiliated? to know that someone had  _seen_ it. Lucas stepped forwards a little.

"I'm sorry I wasn't faster," Dean's voice cracked, and Vic glanced up to see him looking teary and ashamed.

"I don't think I've ever been so relieved to see anyone in my life," she said softly, grateful he hadn't actually said what happened. Vic didn't think she could take that right now. "No offence, Lucas."

"Thanks, Dean," Lucas said instead, investing the words with sincerity.

"I'll make a statement," Dean said, looking at Vic. He paused, dropping his voice so only Vic and Lucas could hear him, "and it _was_ criminal, Vic. He sexually assaulted you."

Like Maya earlier, having someone say the words made it suddenly feel real. Lucas shifted subtly, positioning himself more squarely in front of her like a shield.

"You don't have to decide right now," Lucas assured her gently.

"But Tanner's been called out -"

"Screw Tanner's convenience," Lucas said.

"Anyway, Tanner, you can book him and Vic can decide later, right?" Dean called across the room.

"That's right," Ryan replied. "Based on what I've heard this morning, I'm very happy to book him."

"I'll do it," Vic said, taking a deep breath. Lucas looked down to her and nodded, opening his mouth to say something, but he was interrupted by the arrival of two unfamiliar men.

* * *

 "Price, Allen, what are you doing here?" Diaz barked as the two men - in civilian clothes - entered the Beanery.

"Don't you think cuffs are a little excessive for a suggestive comment?" Allen asked, sounding genuinely surprised, and still looking half-asleep.

"Not for a suggestive comment and sexual assault," Tanner retorted.

"You _touched_ the girl?" Price's tone was oddly strangled.

Something clicked in the back of Lucas' mind, and white-hot fury like he'd never felt before flooded through him. This had been a set up. Otherwise how else would they know what had happened? He gently took Vic's other hand, put it on top of the ice-pack, said, "excuse me," and then whirled on Price and Allen.

"How do  _you_ know what happened?" Lucas asked, taking a step forward towards them.

"Price said De Vrietz rang him and said you were firing him for a suggestive comment," Allen said slowly. "Which, look, needs to be dealt with but not by you of all people on the spot at this time on a Saturday morning without HR involvement."

"I haven't actually fired anyone, Allen," Lucas said, forcing himself to keep his tone quiet. "I shouldn't, as much as I would like to kick that piece of shit to the curb, because of condition two. All I did was tell Diaz that I was suspending him without pay with immediate effect for HR to deal with on Monday. So, Price, where did you learn this from?"

Allen shot a disgusted look at De Vrietz, and stepped away from Price, turning on him.

"What the heck, Price?" he asked angrily. "Am I just here as some kind of more neutral back up? I reckon it's fair enough to suspend someone over a weekend until HR can get involved. Anyway, there's politics and there's politics - Ripley might be some liberal social justice warrior but you don't go after other men's women."

"Yes, because the fact that she's dating someone is the reason that nobody should touch her without her consent," Frankel barked angrily at Allen. "Or make sexist comments to her."

"He wasn't supposed to assault her!" Price exclaimed defensively. 

"What  _exactly_ was he supposed to do?" Lucas demanded, forcing himself to take a deep breath, only belatedly realising his fists were clenched tightly when his fingernails bit into his own palms. _This is about Vic,_ he reminded himself. _Not you, don't make this about your anger_.

Price recoiled. "Just, make a comment. It's widely known the girl's a hothead -"

"Let me guess, you figure even if I don't get involved, you hope Frankel tries to fire him," Lucas spat, disgusted. "The best outcome was me getting involved and firing him."

"I swear, he wasn't supposed to touch her. That's not what we discussed."

"Who is ' _we_ '?" Lucas demanded, taking a step forward.

Price blanched. "It wasn't my idea!"

"I don't care whose idea it was!" he shouted, trembling with anger. " _Who else was involved_?"

"I wasn't," Allen said quickly. "I didn't know anything about this."

Price said nothing, mouth clamped shut.

Lucas closed his eyes tightly, letting himself have a moment of visualising himself punching them both into a bloody pulp. He exhaled slowly. _That wouldn't help Vic_ , he reminded himself.

"I'm immediately suspending you and De Vrietz without pay pending HR's investigation into you conspiring to harass a junior firefighter," he said in his frostiest tone instead. "And I look forward to then firing your asses and stripping you both of all your benefits."

"You can't do that!" Price exclaimed. "I haven't done anything -"

"Sexual harassment can be verbal as well, not just physical, and you just admitted you and De Vrietz discussed what he was going to do!" Lucas bit out. "That means you have conspired to sexually assault someone, so quite frankly, Colin, you should be more worried about facing potential criminal charges than the fact I'm going to fire you on Tuesday."

"You can't get involved in disciplinary matters involving -"

"Watch me," Lucas thundered. "The list of conditions is something I've agreed to honour - I actually do still have the ability to turn you out and HR can bite my ass. We've got a roomful of witnesses who heard you admit that this was planned, and quite frankly, I don't care if I lose my job at this point because it's an absolute disgrace there are assholes like you in the SFD at all, let alone in such a position of power."

"You bet your ass the Chief won't be the one losing his job," Diaz interjected quietly. 

Price's gaze darted between Lucas', Diaz's, a glowering Frankel, and a disapproving Allen's. "This department's going to the dogs. I hope she's at least a good fuck," he spat. 

Lucas didn't realise he was moving forward until his shirt tightened around his neck and Sullivan raced over in front of him, using his body to separate Lucas and Price. He glanced back to see Vic holding onto the back of his shirt tightly with her uninjured hand. Maya and Dean had grabbed onto Travis, who had snarled with anger, while Diaz moved around to support Sullivan.

"The last thing Vic needs is for you to do something stupid," Sully hissed to him, and Lucas forced himself to take a deep breath.

"Don't," Vic said, and Lucas' heart ached to see how spaced she still looked. (Hey, he'd disassociated, he knew what it looked like). He felt even worse; even in her current state of anger and shock, Vic was now focussing on stopping his stupid ass from doing something.

"Christ, man, shut the hell up and get out of here," Allen told him. 

"Before one of the rest of us decides to not care about the police officers in the room," Sullivan snapped, half turning and glaring. Price blanched, turning and scurrying away. Sullivan stepped back, and Lucas nodded at him before turning on Allen. The shirt around his neck loosened, and he felt Vic's hand move to his hip, steadying him.

"I swear, Lucas, I didn't know anything about all that," Allen said in a conciliatory fashion, raising his hands under Lucas' glare. 

"You know, the mere fact that I had to make it clear that she was off-limits over politics made me angry," Lucas growled. "The fact that I have to do it time and time again, and that it escalates to this drives me absolutely nuts. If I hear  _anyone_ in this department refer to her as anything but her name, not 'that girl', or 'Ripley's chick' or any of the other FUCKING things I know you've been saying I will have their resignation on my desk. AM I BEING CLEAR?" Lucas didn't care that he was yelling.

Allen recoiled. "Yes sir."

"I am holding you responsible for that, Greg," Lucas continued more quietly. "Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe you knew nothing about what was going to happen this morning, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I thought you were too decent a man to be a party to this kind of crap. So you spread the word amongst your cronies, and actually, let's do this properly. _Any_ reference to _any_ woman in this department with anything less than full respect and the proper use of their name and I will have your resignation along with theirs on my desk. I don't care if I clean out half of this goddamn department. Understood?"

"Yes sir," Allen repeated stiffly.

"Get out of my sight," Lucas snapped and Allen scarpered.

He glanced at Diaz and Frankel. "You hear anything, you give me their names, understood," he stabbed a finger towards them. "I've had it, I've absolutely had it with all this fucking bullshit."

They both nodded, Diaz looking mildly terrified.

"That's what we call a Riptide," Frankel said to Diaz with a fierce grin. 

"That's the worst one I've ever seen," Sullivan muttered.

"I might take Mr De Vrietz here down to the station and book him," Tanner said, sounding a little awed. De Vrietz for his part was standing absolutely still, like every bully Lucas had ever met he was silent in the face of actual consequences. Lucas continued to force himself to not look at De Vrietz properly. If he did there was a very real chance he'd ignore Vic's restraining hand on his hip and Sullivan standing at the ready next to him. "Come down to the station and make a statement when you feel up to it, Vic."

"I'll make a statement after work," Dean told him quietly. Lucas waited until he saw the police officers leave, before turning back to Vic.

* * *

Lucas turned back towards her, took a deep breath, and then took the icepack she was balancing on the back of her hand away again.

"Sorry about that," he said, exhaling heavily. "Has someone looked at this?"

"Everyone in this room is a qualified EMT, Lucas," Vic said, the whole thing feeling surreal. "It's fine!"

"So am I," he pointed out soberly, looking at her with his bright blue eyes. "I think this needs an X-Ray."

"It doesn't need an X-Ray."

"Right, can you make a fist?" he asked sceptically.

"Sullivan's been teaching me how to punch properly," she avoided the question defensively.

"It's not a question of your punching technique, Vic, it's simply the fact that De Vrietz's skull is thicker than a brick, and just as fucking dense, so even with good technique you could still break your hand," he said matter-of-factly, turning her hand over. "You can't make a fist. We should stop by the ER."

"I can," she hissed as she tried to do so.

"Right," he said sarcastically.

"Okay, fine," Vic said. "But I still don't think it's broken."

"As long as we check it out properly, Southpaw," he said affectionately, corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled, replacing the icepack and placing his hand over it to hold it in place. "You know I will happily help you murder De Vrietz and Price, right?"

"I'd rather not have us go to jail," Vic said with a shaky laugh.

"And I'd have fired them on the spot but if I send them through HR then I bet HR will let me strip them of their pensions and all their benefits," he said with a dark sort of glee, before suddenly pausing.  "I assumed that you're happy to talk about this to HR if you are happy to press criminal charges, but I didn't properly check. Are you okay with doing that?"

What she meant to say was, _it's okay, I'm happy for this to go through HR._

What Vic actually said was, "marry me, Lucas Ripley."

The room went suddenly silent, and you could have heard a pin drop.

It wasn't until Lucas' jaw slackened that she realised what she'd said.

"Oh god, I just proposed. Don't answer, don't answer now," she scrambled to say. Lucas continued to stare at her like his brain had been fried. "It's just, I took so long to tell you that I loved you which was stupid because of course I do and why should we wait to get married if you want to marry me too and god I'm still talking-"

He dropped her hand, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small green-felt covered box.

"This isn't an engagement ring, exactly," was what Lucas said, interrupting her babbling with his own. "It's a placeholder, because I looked at engagement rings for like, hours, and I wasn't sure I had the right one, so I thought I should just take you along and let you pick it and I figured you wouldn't mind if I did that but I still wanted to have a ring -"

Lucas was still babbling so she grabbed his face, ice pack falling to the floor, ignoring the pain in her hand as she pulled him down into a searing kiss.

"Was that a yes?" she gasped, drawing back when she needed to breathe.

"You said not to answer," he said breathlessly, staring at her dumbly.

"Well, you kind of just proposed and I'm not answering you because I asked first," Vic said, realising she sounded slightly hysterical.

"Yes, Victoria," he replied forcefully. "Of _course_ it's a yes."

"Okay," she kissed him again, hands sliding up into his hair, stepping closer into him. His hands settled on her back and she sighed into his mouth. She barely registered the whoops from those watching them; focussing instead on _her_   _fiance's_ lips and tongue. When they pulled apart this time, she couldn't help but grin broadly as she demanded, "give me my ring now."

He grinned stupidly back at her, releasing her to open the little box. "You shouldn't put it on the left hand until the swelling goes down," he said, hands shaking as he pulled the ring out of the box.

"Okay," she grinned stupidly back, proffering her right hand to him. He slid the ring on. 

"Does it fit okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Perfect," she said, wriggling the finger. She eyed him suspiciously. "Is this why I couldn't find my favourite ring the other day, Mr Maybe-You-Left-It-At-Yours?"

He looked sheepishly at the floor. "Rings don't exactly have sizes on them," he said defensively, gently resting his hands on her waist. 

"You thief," she said affectionately, looking at her hand and admiring the plain gold band.

"Like I said, it's just a placeholder. You can pick whatever you want for the real wedding and engagement rings," Lucas said hurriedly.

Vic looked away from her ring in surprise. "I don't need three rings," she said firmly. "This one can be my engagement ring, and then we can pick a not-practical one for the wedding ring that I won't wear at work."

They beamed at each other for a few moments, before Vic gripped handfuls of his shirt, pulling him closer. "I love you," she whispered fiercely, desperately.

Lucas caressed her cheek, leaning in to kiss her gently. "I love you too," he said quietly, resting his forehead against hers. 

"Well, every girl wants to spend the day she gets engaged doing a police statement, so I'll start with that," Vic decided.

"Then the ER," Lucas said sternly.

"Fine," Vic rolled her eyes, before demanding, "and then I want the eggy thing."

"Okay," he glanced at his watch. "Your shift's just about done. What do you need to do before we can go?"

"Nothing, she can just go now," Sullivan sounded a little awkward interrupting, and they both turned, only to see pretty much her entire team as well as Diaz and Frankel staring at them. 

Several things happened at once.

"Congratulations!" Travis said, wrapping them both in a hug.

"Are you... _crying_ , Deb?" Lucas asked incredulously, as Sullivan patted him on the back.

"Of course I'm not fucking crying there's just some-fucking-thing in my fucking eye," Frankel swore, dabbing at both her eyes.

"She's crying," Diaz confirmed with an uncharacteristically broad grin on his usually stoic features. The grin was quickly replaced by a pained grimace as Frankel whirled and punched him in the shoulder. "Ow, Jesus Christ, Frankel!"

"Congratulations," Maya said, grabbing at Vic's hand with a broad grin.

"This is so exciting, congratulations," Ben said, bouncing on his heels.

Miller simply beamed at them both. "Way to go get your  _oh so handsome Chief_ , Vic!" Lucas heard Miller's falsetto and choked.

" _Don't_ ask," Vic warned him, awkwardly patting Travis's back as he hugged them both tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, this is a bit of a meaty, messy topic.
> 
> Sexual assault can take many different forms, and there's no "right" way to respond to it if you've been targeted by it. Vic's response is to punch out; not everyone does that and that's okay. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves and if you feel you need help, please see your family doctor or ring a helpline where you can get qualified help.


	25. Take a Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a long time deleting and re-adding the last scene in this chapter - it's a bit pointless, but on the other hand we're not going to see any such scenes now...so I've been a little less brutal with the cutting tool here.
> 
> We're still in the aftermath of Ch 23 so trigger warning for mention of sexual assault.

Vic had insisted Lucas drive them home first.

"You stink," she'd informed him as she tossed her keys to him. "I'm not sitting in the ER or at the police station with you smelling like that."

He'd sighed, but acquiesced, and showered quickly, not bothering to comb his wayward hair.

Fortunately, Tanner and Jenna were still on shift when they arrived at the police station, and Vic gave her statement to them as quickly as she could, twisting her new ring around her finger for reassurance as Lucas waited in the reception area.

"Okay?" he murmured in her ear as she exited, throwing her arms around him and nuzzling into his soft grey sweater.

"Yeah," she sighed, tilting her head up for a kiss. He obliged. "I love you, my scruffy Lucas."

"I love you, Victoria," he said gently. "Now, let's get your hand checked out."

Vic suspected Warren had pulled some strings, because as soon as they stepped into the ER a reddish-haired man was greeting them.

"Victoria Hughes?" he asked. "I'm Owen Hunt. Let's have a look at your hand."

He prodded and poked, before mumbling something about an X-Ray.

"It's not broken," Hunt concluded after looking at the X-Ray. "Just badly bruised. Take tylenol and advil, and keep it iced and elevated. It'll settle down in the next few days."

"I told you it wasn't broken," Vic said triumphantly, turning to Lucas who simply smiled patiently at her.

"Yes, but now we know for sure," he said steadily.

"He's right," Hunt said abruptly. "It's swollen enough I thought there was a good chance something was broken."

"Thank you, doctor," Lucas said. "Hope you have a good shift."

Hunt nodded to them. "Thanks. Enjoy the rest of your day. If you head out that way -"

They went the way he indicated, and hopped back into her car.

"You awake enough for breakfast or do you want to sleep?" Lucas asked, buckling his seat-belt and glancing over at her. Vic glanced at her watch.

"It's only just eight," she realised in surprise. "That didn't take as long as I thought. I definitely want the eggy thing. I deserve it." Lucas nodded.

* * *

"Morning!" Cam chirped as he came up to their table. "What'll it -  _is that what I think it is_?!" he squealed.

Vic glanced at Lucas who was beaming.

"Yeah," she said shyly. "If you think it's an engagement ring."

"It's not a proper ring," Lucas hurried to add. "I wanted her to pick whatever she wanted -"

"That is so _romantic_ ," Cam said, clutching his hands to his chest. "Oh my god you guys this is so exciting! When did this happen!?"

"Literally about two and a half hours ago," Vic said with a grin, as Lucas reached over to take her hand.

"Eeee!" Cam said, clearly unable to muster anything coherent up. His gaze landed on her other hand and he frowned. "Wait, what happened -"

"Punched a guy," Vic said. 

"She broke an asshole's nose this morning," Lucas said proudly at the same time. 

Cam was silent for a moment. "Well, it's been a morning and a half for you," he said, obviously a little confused and alarmed. "I was going to ask how he proposed, but I think that's a complicated story!"

Vic opened her mouth to explain, frowned as she realised it was, and then glanced at Lucas. The two of them laughed.

"Well, first things first," Vic said with a shrug, smiling at her handsome fiance. " _I_ proposed to him." She frowned. "I never even asked you about the ring."

"I'd planned on proposing," Lucas explained. "So I was bringing the ring over - Vic worked last night, and I usually run from my place to hers to meet her after her shift. And then when she proposed I figured I might as well offer her the ring."

"It was a bit of a - I'd just punched someone at work for -" Vic took a breath. "For saying something they shouldn't have. Luke got called in because -"

"Because that person was high ranking and no-one knew what to do," Lucas added.

"And I'd been thinking about marrying him anyway and it just...I just sort of said it," Vic said somewhat sheepishly.

"And then I said yes," Lucas gazed at her adoringly and Vic melted, squeezing his hand.

Cam's eyes were wide. "You guys are so cool," he said breathlessly. "Oh my god. Wow."

Vic and Lucas grinned at each other some more. 

After a few moments, Cam cleared his throat. "Well. Eggy thing?" he said brightly. Vic tore her eyes away from Lucas and nodded. 

"Please," she said. "The thought of the eggy thing is the only thing that's gotten me through this morning's police statement and ER visit."

Lucas placed his order, and Cam nodded. "Great!"

As Cam walked away, Lucas reached for her other hand, pressing a kiss to first her bruised knuckles and then to the back of her unbruised hand.

"You okay, Eggy?" he asked in the softest tone she'd ever heard from him. Vic squeezed his hand with her good one.

"It all happened so fast," Vic said quietly. "I just... I shouldn't have turned my back to him."

Anger flashed across his face. "You have every right to turn your back to someone," he said fiercely. " _None_ of this was your fault, Vic, not one iota. You didn't deserve this. Turning your back is not an invitation."

Vic nodded slowly.

"It wasn't your fault either, Scruffy," she said quietly. "You had nothing to do with it."

Lucas looked down. "I hate that you were targeted," he said in the same low tone. "I  _hate this_." He looked up at her, eyes fierce. "I swear to god, Vic, I'll find out who the rest of them are and fire their asses."

"You might find that a little tricky," Vic replied dryly. "They're not exactly going to put their hands up."

"I'll try," he said grimly, shaking his head a little, and tightening his grip on her good hand. 

Cam dropped their drinks off, and Vic let go of his hand to take a sip of her hot chocolate. He took a sip of his coffee, and Vic absently rubbed at the ring on her finger.

"I meant it," Lucas said, eyes fixed to her ring. "I'll get you a different -"

"What happened this morning was not nice," Vic blurted suddenly. "But you know, I want to remember the good parts of it. Me breaking his nose. You -" she choked a little. "I...the first thing you did was make sure I was okay."

Lucas looked a little confused, more so when Vic waited for him to respond. "That was a good part?" he asked, clearly lost.

"Your first thought wasn't to go all Neanderthal on him, it was to check on me," Vic struggled for words, unable to explain how important it was. But it was important. 

"Obviously," Lucas said slowly, clearly still baffled. "Obviously that was the most important thing."

Vic gave up on trying to explain. "Well, anyway. The best part is we're getting married. And this is my ring. I don't want another one." 

It was probably absurd but the ring felt like it had really taken on that significance; Lucas would be there, Lucas would support her, Lucas put her first, above any desire to fight for her as if she couldn't fight for herself, and above his job.

It was  _her_ ring.

"Okay," Lucas gave up as well. 

"You haven't asked me," Vic said. "You haven't asked me what happened."

"You'll tell me when you're ready," he said calmly, patiently. 

When she'd given her statement, it had taken ages to force the words recounting it from her mouth. She'd had to focus on the table between her and Jenna and Ryan, staring at a chip in the wood. Ryan had offered to not be present, but she'd found his presence comforting; someone she knew, and Vic was confident that the other man would keep it quiet.

For all that Tanner was a bit of a hothead at times, he could also be very sweet.

Now, however, it poured out of her. Lucas listened intently, hand reaching back so that he held both of hers, blue eyes soft and hurt but focussed on hers. As she recounted De Vrietz' comment about her being open for business, he took a deep breath, squeezing her good hand so tightly it almost hurt, but didn't interrupt and didn't look away.

She paused as Cam set their meals down, obviously sensing the mood, he smiled quickly and left.

Lucas ignored their meals, and Vic continued until the whole thing was out.

"Say something," Vic said when he remained silent. "Please."

Lucas let go of her hands and got up, dropping next to her and wrapping his arms around her. "I love you," he said fiercely into her ear. "I'm so proud of you. And you're the most amazing person."

Vic felt absurdly relieved, gripping the back of his shirt tightly and hugging him back. He released her after several long minutes, but kept an arm draped over her shoulders, pulling his plate across. They ate cuddled like that, Vic grateful for his reassuring presence.

When they got home, Vic looked at him, taking his hand again.

"Lie with me?" she asked. Lucas nodded, letting her lead him into her room. Vic stripped, turning her back to him and grabbing one of his shirts from her drawer, pulling it over her panties. She turned around to see him lying on her bed, shoes kicked off into a corner, shirt and sweater flung over the end of the bed, watching her softly.

Vic crawled into bed next to him, and he pulled her soft blanket over her as she cuddled as close to him as she could, worming a leg between his and pushing her nose into the centre of his bare chest.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her as she cried.

* * *

 She woke up, now tucked securely against Lucas' side while he frowned down at a book. 

"Time's it?" she mumbled.

"Hey," he said, stroking her hair, tilting his other wrist to check his watch. "It's 2pm."

She'd slept for four hours. He put down his book carelessly, half down on his table, and wriggled down, turning so that they lay face to face. "Sleep okay?"

Vic nodded, reaching out to trace a pattern on his chest.

"I didn't mean to ruin your plan to propose," Vic said abruptly. 

Lucas huffed in amusement. "Truthfully, I didn't have much of a plan. I'd sort of decided what I wanted to say but I hadn't decided when or where."

"Propose to me now," Vic said, gazing into his eyes.

"We're already engaged," he said with fond amusement.

"Lucas."

"Okay," he said, looking a little embarrassed. "Um. I was going to say something like," he looked down for a moment, then back up to meet her gaze, suddenly serious. "Victoria Hughes, I love you. You make my life better, brighter, and happier. I want to spend the rest of my life having this conversation with you, and I want you to know that I've never been more serious than I am now. Will you marry me?"

Vic smiled at him. "That's a good proposal."

"Am I going to get an answer?" he asked playfully.

"Let me think about it," she teased. She waited a beat. "Of course."

"Then I would've gotten the ring out and explained it was just a placeholder," Lucas said, tapping the ring where it sat on her finger. 

Vic reached out and stroked his cheek. "I love you," she said, overcome by a fierce wave of love, affection, and desire. She leaned forward before he had a chance to respond, kissing him forcefully.

He returned her kiss passionately, but pulled back when she rolled over onto him to straddle him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking uncertain.

Vic didn't pretend not to understand what he was talking about. She cupped his face in her hands, and said firmly, "I want to remember _your_ hands on me, not his. I want you to erase any trace of him. I never, ever want what he did to get between us."

Lucas looked at her with blue eyes that assessed her, and nodded minutely. "Okay, sweetheart," he said quietly. "But you know that if at  _any point_ you don't think you want to or you think there's a chance you're not ready you tell me, and you know I'll stop. That's always been the case and it will always be the case."

Vic nodded, and reached for his hands, picking them up and deliberately setting them on her breasts.

"Touch me, Lucas, please," she said softly.

And he did.

Later, much later, Vic stroked his hair, his head resting between her breasts, as they each recovered their breath. He hadn't just made love to her; she felt fairly well worshipped right now. He wanted her and loved her and Vic was almost embarrassed by how relieved she was about that. 

"I love you," she said softly.

He pressed a kiss to her sternum, and looked up, resting his prickly chin on her chest, blue eyes gazing into hers.

"I adore you," he said quietly. "And I'm so grateful that you'll spend the rest of my life with me.

Vic tugged gently on his hair, pulling him up for a slow, tender kiss.

* * *

 She woke, and had a moment of panic, as strong arms surrounded her and a body was pressed up behind her. Vic tensed immediately, pulling away.

"Vic, it's okay," Lucas said immediately, releasing her and rolling away. "It's okay."

"Sorry," she said after a minute. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Lucas said immediately, and Vic looked over to see him looking at her in concern. "Are you okay?"

"It was just as I woke," Vic said, immediately rolling back to tuck herself against him. "I'm sor -" at the expression on his face she bit off the word, saying instead, "I'm okay."

Lucas nodded, and brought his arms back around her in a very loose embrace. His phone beeped, and he grabbed it from his bedside table.

"Jennifer," he said, turning the screen towards her. "She's, uh, happy we're getting married?" 

That was an understatement, and Vic grabbed his phone, scrolling up to see where he'd told her they'd gotten engaged (probably shortly after she'd fallen asleep when they'd first got home) to see that the first half-dozen or so messages containing almost exclusively emoticons had been sent in quick succession. The emoticons were every happy face Vic had ever seen, followed by dancers and fireworks and then more happy faces.

Then Jennifer had actually managed to type something coherent,  _so so os happy for u both. why didnt u tell me u were proposing today?!!?!!?_

Then there were a few messages where Lucas had sketched out the bare bones of the morning,  _I didn't, Vic did. She got into an altercation in the early hours with one of the bat chiefs at work; punched him in the face and broke his nose (he deserved it). I got called in because he was too highly ranked for anyone else to do anything, and while we were dealing w/it she proposed kind of by accident but she didnt take it back so obviously I said yes_

 _I LIKE HER_  was followed by more smiley faces.

The latest message was,  _pls call me I'd love to talk to u both + say congratulations!_

"Let's get dressed and call her," Vic said, sitting up and scanning the room for her clothes. She groaned when she saw her shirt lying half-off the dresser, while her underwear was crumpled in a corner. "God, Lucas." 

He shrugged unrepentantly. "You were the one who wanted me to touch you," he pointed out. Vic flung his jeans back at him, followed by his boxers and his shirt. She opted to pull on a fresh set of panties, a bra, and grabbed one of her own shirts and shorts from her dresser. They quickly dressed, and then Vic hopped back in bed, resting her head next to Lucas' as he dialled his sister, putting her on speaker.

"OH MY GOD," Jennifer screeched, and Lucas winced. "CONGRATULATIONS!"

"Thanks, sis," Lucas said in amusement. 

"Thanks, Jen," Vic added.

"This is so exciting," Vic was relieved to hear that Jennifer sounded genuinely pleased. "Lucas said you proposed? What happened?!"

"Oh, it was a bit of a messy morning," Vic said. "I sort of maybe punched a battalion chief? And Lucas was just so perfect and I'd already been thinking about marrying him anyway so it just sort of ... spilled out."

"Well, I'm so happy for you both," Jennifer said firmly. "Oh, and here's the kids." Lucas and Vic exchanged amused glances as they heard Jennifer whispering to coach her kids. Maddie was seven and Callum was ten, and Vic had met them just once when they'd flown up to visit, but spoken to them on skype a few times. 

"CONGRATULATIONS!" said two children in an uncoordinated fashion.

"Can I come?" asked Maddie.

"Of course," Vic said immediately.

"Do I have to wear a suit?" Callum grumbled. Lucas glanced at Vic who shook her head.

"No, buddy," Lucas answered.

"When are you getting married?" Jennifer demanded.

"We haven't decided yet," Vic said. "We...haven't really thought about that logistical side yet."

"I bet," Jennifer sounded amused. "Anyway, I also wanted to confirm we're still good for the weekend of the 22nd to fly down?"

"Yeah, Vic's working the Sunday as you know but we're still good then," Lucas replied. They chatted for a little longer before he hung up.

"We've got some busy weekends," Vic noted, grabbing her phone and going to the calendar (ignoring the half-dozen texts she hadn't yet opened). "Lunch with Laura the fourteenth, Jennifer and team the weekend after, and then vacation the weekend after that."

Lucas sighed and nodded. "I know," he said. "Still, your passport arrived yesterday. We can finally book flights."

"Mmm," Vic said, tapping into her messages. "Um. Gibson says congrats. As does Herrera."

"Gibson invited us to drinks tomorrow night," Lucas said. Vic looked at him in surprise and he shrugged. "Actually, he invited us to drinks tonight to celebrate, but I said you were exhausted and maybe tomorrow night, after you'd slept?"

"First you two have a romantic dinner for two at home," Vic teased. "Now you're texting each other..."

"Don't worry, baby, he's not my type," Lucas joked.

* * *

 "Where are you going?" Vic asked suspiciously the next morning as Lucas turned left, not right. "Grocery store is that way."

"Jewellery store is that way," Lucas said placidly, taking another left.

"Seriously?" Vic asked, unsure exactly how to feel.

"I'm trying to lock marriage in, Eggy," he said lightly, reaching over with his hand to grasp one of hers. They pulled up outside a jeweller's, and entered, electronic door bell chiming loudly.

A matronly lady was behind the counter, grey hair pulled back in a neat bun and wearing a neatly pressed business skirt and sensible beige blouse. Pinned to her dark blue jacket was a nametag reading  _Susan_. "Ah, Lucas wasn't it?" she said with warmth.

"That's right," Lucas smiled nervously at her. "This is Victoria, my -" he looked at her and beamed. "My fiancee."

Vic grinned back at him, their fingers lacing together tightly. "Nice to meet you." She tore her eyes away from him to smile at the lady.

"Congratulations," Susan said with a smile. "Now, Lucas here said that you seemed to prefer gold jewellery?"

Vic glanced at him shyly.

"Victoria, I want you to have the ring you want," he said simply. "So just say what you would like."

"Um, yeah," Vic said, squeezing his hand.

"Okay," Susan said patiently. "Now there's white, rose, and of course, classic, yellow gold. Do you have a preference between those?"

"Yellow gold, I mean, that's most of my jewellery so I guess it makes sense to match it kind of," Vic stammered.

"Great," Susan said. "Now, have you thought about what kind of design you would like?"

Vic shook her head wordlessly.

"That's fine, dear. How about we just start trying some on and you can tell me what you like and what you don't like," the older woman began opening the display and started to take out half a dozen different styles, clearly trying to narrow down Vic's preferences.

The swelling in her left hand had gone down a lot overnight, although the bruising remained impressive, so Vic was able to try them on the correct finger. It was a surreal experience, trying on ring after ring after ring. She quickly decided that she didn't really like the designs where the stones were a weird shape ("teardrop," Susan said helpfully) or with settings that were gem encrusted (they looked tacky).

Lucas caught her anxiously trying to look at the prices.

"Vic, honestly, I don't care about price," he said quietly. "Whatever ring you want. I literally have no budget." His smile turned wry. "Maybe keep it under ten thousand though?"

Vic laughed at him, and continued to try on rings, discovering that she seemed to like the solitaire settings with rounder stones.

"How about this one?" Susan asked, sliding it over in the box. It was a lot simpler than some of the rings she'd tried on (even though she knew she really didn't want the gem-encrusted rings she'd tried half a dozen for the fun of it). It was yellow gold, with a fancy-looking twist around the stone itself which made it look prettier than just the normal round rings. The stone was not as big as some of them (there were a few that were bigger than her thumbnail) but it was a medium sort of size and when Vic put it on, she nodded.

"I really like it," she said, glancing to Lucas for his approval.

"You picked well for her then," Susan said approvingly to him, and Lucas blushed a little. 

"Lucas?"

"I very nearly just bought that one," he replied kind of sheepishly. "But make sure there's not another one you'd prefer."

"I put it aside just in case he came back because he was looking at it for almost an hour," Susan said in a stage whisper.

"I want this one," Vic said immediately, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek.

"Is it enough?" Lucas asked anxiously. "Like, it's pretty simple, Vic."

"You're being so ridiculous about this," Vic said, briefly leaning against his shoulder. " _You're_  enough, Lucas. This is just...frosting."

He gave her a small smile and kissed the top of her head. "The lady's decided, I guess," he said, pulling out his wallet.

"Wait, what about your ring?" Vic interrupted, laying a hand on his arm. He glanced at her. "Do you want a ring?"

"Yeah," he said automatically. "Um. I...hadn't thought about it."

"Now you know how I feel," Vic said dryly. 

"Well, I want it to match yours," he said, pointing to her finger where she was wearing the plain gold band he'd bought her initially.

Lucas didn't take as long, but surprised Vic by not just picking a straight plain gold band. Instead, he picked one with an outer polished edge and a middle rougher finish which gave it, up close at least, a two tone effect. He shrugged at her quizzical look. 

"I like it," he said. "It's different to any ring I've ever had."

Susan smiled patiently as they quietly argued over payment; in the end, Vic got her way and paid for his ring while he paid for hers.  "The symbolism's important," she argued as they left the shop. "You bought me rings as a symbol of your commitment to me, and I'm buying you one as a symbol of my commitment to you."

"You won the argument already, darling."

"I know, I'm just winning it more."

Lucas laughed, leaning over the central console to kiss her nose. 


	26. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Because everyone needs it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones.

 

"Lucas," Travis said out loud, and the elderly woman in the elevator next to him startled, looking at him with badly-disguised suspicion. "Sorry. I'm practicing saying my best friend's fiance's name."

That didn't seem to help, and the woman took a step away from him. Travis sighed, mentally rehearsing it instead.  _Lucas, hi. Hi Lucas._

It wasn't too hard; it was just a name. The elevator dinged, and he stepped out into Vic's hallway, making his way to her door and knocking on it.

"Coming," he heard a yell from inside, and the door was yanked open a minute or two later by Rip- _Lucas_ , who had one arm in a green sweater, head in the process of disappearing into it. "Hey, Travis."

"Hey, Lucas," Travis said, proud of how casual he sounded.

"Vic's just finishing her makeup," Ripley said, head emerging from the top of his sweater with hair that was now a mess. "Come in."

Travis trailed into the apartment after the Chief.

"Hey, Trav," Vic called. 

"Hey," he called back as Ripley disappeared into her open room. Travis flopped himself down on her couch. Once, not too long ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about going into her room, sitting on her bed and chatting as she got ready. 

It was hard to do that when the room wasn't just hers. It was Ripley's too, and Travis was nowhere near comfortable enough to sit on their bed while  _they_ got ready.

He wasn't alone for long as Lucas wandered back out of the bedroom, sitting in Vic's armchair, hair now more or less tamed.

"How was your day yesterday?" Ripley asked lightly.

"Oh, you know," Travis replied noncommittally. "Went to the gym. There was a boxing class, actually, so..."

"Must've felt good," Lucas said quietly.

"What did you two do?" Travis asked him.

Ripley shrugged. "Police statement, hospital - her hand's not broken - breakfast then we came home. Spent most of the day in bed." He winced. "I didn't mean -"

"It's okay," Travis interrupted hastily. "It was an exhausting shift; I went to the gym then went to bed too."

There was a slightly awkward pause. "Is she okay?"

"You know Vic," Ripley's tone could only be described as affectionate. "She's incredible."

As if on cue, Vic stepped out of their room, fiddling with an earring.

"Ready," she chimed, but her eyes narrowed as they darted from Travis' serious expression to Ripley's. She sighed loudly, "I'm fine, Travis."

"Just checking," he held his hands up.

"Uber here?" she asked, swapping the topic. Travis ordered one, and the three of them made their way downstairs. It wasn't until they were in the elevator that he noticed the ring.

"Um, what is that?!" he practically shrieked, and Vic beamed at him.

"Lucas took me shopping," she said, nudging her fiance's shoulder affectionately.

Ripley, for his part, was just smiling at her. Travis had often found the other man difficult to read; and while he'd gotten to know the man better in the last few weeks since they'd become public knowledge, he was still rather enigmatic.

Now, however, it seemed that all his guards were down. He was gazing at her with clear, unambiguous happiness; a kind of happiness that made Travis both pleased for his friend and envious at the same time.

"It's beautiful," Travis said, grabbing her hand gently, conscious of the bruising still evident, to inspect the ring. "You picked it?"

"Sort of," Vic said as they got out of the elevator. "I tried on a bunch of rings then the lady in the shop got me to try this one. Lucas had picked it when he went earlier but didn't want to buy it because he wanted to make sure I had a ring I liked. But it was by far my favourite. So we both  picked it."

"Aww," was the only thing Travis could say. Their Uber pulled up, and Lucas opened the back door, ushering for Vic and Travis to get in. Travis hesitated, and Ripley simply nodded his head towards the car.

"I'll ride shotgun," the Chief said. "You two chat."

Travis waited until the car was underway before asking in a low tone, "you okay?"

Vic glanced over and gave him a tight smile. "I'm fine," her smile relaxed slightly. "Actually, I'm really happy. I'm engaged. And I hope you're not going to just repeat that question all night - the shit will hit the fan tomorrow when HR's back and I'd like to have tonight off, thank you."

"Okay," Travis agreed somewhat reluctantly.

"I'm fine. Really. Lucas is great to talk to," she assured him.

Travis sighed despite himself. Vic gave him a quizzical look. 

"Don't worry, Montgomery," Ripley commented from the front seat. "She'll definitely still need to talk to you."

"Lucas is great to talk to but he's also an idiot," Vic said affectionately, leaning across to stroke his cheek as if to take away the sting of her words. He simply smiled back patiently, turning his face to kiss her hand. "And he knows nothing about the Gilmore Girls."

* * *

 Jack glanced at the doorway again.

"We did get here, like, fifteen minutes early," Maya said, glancing down at her menu.

"For no reason," Dean added. 

"I...I just think it's really great," Jack said defensively. He did. Ripley had made it pretty obvious in their talk the other day that he really was in love with Vic (when every second word out of his mouth referenced her, Jack figured she was onto a safe bet). His feelings were further vindicated as Vic and Ripley entered hand-in-hand along with Travis, with whom they'd obviously shared a ride.

"Congratulations," he said loudly, standing and reaching over the table to hug Vic as she approached before shaking Ripley's hand.

The three new arrivals sat down, and Travis said plaintively, "hi, Jack."

"Hi," Jack replied absently, sitting and beaming at the newly engaged couple.

"Yeah, that's not creepy at all, Gibson," Vic said dryly. Ripley snorted.

"I'm just happy for you guys," he replied honestly, and the two of them glanced at each other and exchanged shy smiles. 

"Thanks, Jack," Vic said, blushing prettily, as Ripley rested his arm along the back of her chair, looking over her shoulder at the menu. 

"So, Game of Thrones thoughts?" Jack demanded as everyone flipped idly through the menu. 

"Ugggghh," Travis exhaled loudly, and angrily. "I'm still mad about Jaime!"

"Moving past Jaime," Vic said. "Because we talked about  _that_ for hours; what was with everyone deciding, I know, the right person to rule is this crippled teenager who's spent pretty much the entire war on his own and can't talk to people or interact with adults in anything approximating a normal fashion?!"

"Dany was robbed," Maya agreed. 

"What was the point of Jon being a Targaryen anyway?" Dean chipped in. "Why have his cousin be the king and not Jon?"

"Because they needed to appease Dany's army," Jack said.

"But Dany's army left - they could've just pretended to send Jon to the Wall and then when they sailed away, gone, haha they're gone, be King, Jon," Dean argued.

"Ugh, it was all just a mess!" Maya said, rolling her eyes. "Seriously.  _Bran_?!"

"Do you watch Game of Thrones, Chief?" Jack asked, realising that Ripley was sitting there quietly, watching the conversation.

"Yes," Vic answered as he said, "no."

They glanced at each other and laughed.

"Lucas 'read the books,'" Vic said, making air quotation marks. "He'll sit there on his computer 'working' when I watch. And snark about how the books are better."

"The books  _are_ better," Ripley argued.

"I found them really hard to get through," Dean chimed in.

"Lucas is a complete snob. He always thinks the books are better because you get to 'imagine your own scenes'," Vic said with a roll of her eyes. "Seriously, who wants to read five pages describing a forest?"

Ripley gave a gasp of mock-offence. "You are  _not_ just insulting the great JRR Tolkein, Victoria Hughes."

"The movies are objectively better," Vic said, grinning impishly at him.

"They are not," Ripley said, suddenly serious. "They're excellent adaptions of the books, that I'll grant you, but for example if we look at Return of the King when they're supposed to go back to the Shire to find it burned -"

"Such a depressing ending," Vic interjected.

"The entire thing is a metaphor for the First World War! The whole point," Ripley said, stabbing his finger into the table. "The whole point is that war touches all -"

"See, complete snob," Vic interrupted blithely, grinning at the rest of the team, who laughed nervously, glancing sideways at their boss.

Ripley simply sighed melodramatically. "Please, like you didn't enjoy the books."

"It's much more fun to annoy you," Vic grinned at him.

"Well, you've got the old married couple routine down pat," Jack commented lightly.

* * *

 Andy Herrera did not often run late, but tonight she'd been caught out by a late-running Uber driver. More awkwardly, Ripley and Vic were already there, his arm around her shoulders casually while she leaned into him, both laughing at something Jack had said. She steeled herself, making her way over.

"Congratulations," she said as brightly as she could. It was hard not to be at least a little concerned. First her friend was seeing their boss, and now,  _months_ into a relationship, they were engaged.

And somehow Andy had the feeling that it wasn't going to be a long engagement. She'd sort of thought that Ripley, with his seriousness and age, would temper Vic's headstrong, impulsive nature. Instead, the two together were ... like skydivers jumping headfirst out of a plane.

Vic beamed at her and thanked her. Ripley's thanks was a little more restrained, but Andy had never seen their boss look quite so relaxed.

"Evening," Sullivan said, dropping into a chair across from her. He glanced over at Vic's hand. "Not broken then?" 

"Nope," Vic said, nudging Ripley pointedly. 

"The doctor agreed with me that it was a surprise it wasn't," Ripley said patiently. "Also, boxing lessons, Sully?"

Sullivan shrugged, and the two men exchanged a significant glance. Before it could become uncomfortable, Andy saw Kat approaching.

"Hey, Kat," she greeted amiably, as the younger woman sat down next to her.

"Lucas, that's Kat Noonan, our new rookie," Vic introduced.

"Hi, I'm Lucas Ripley," the Chief said with an amiable smile, reaching a hand across the table to shake an obviously shy Kat's hand.

"S-sir," she said. "Nice to meet you."

"Okay, now that everyone's here, we all need to look at the ring," Travis announced. Vic laughed, but happily extended her hand forward.

The ring suited her; pretty, but low-key. Vic chattered happily about how she'd picked it separately to Ripley, while he sat there saying nothing but watching her with a small, uncharacteristic smile. The ring discussion ended with the arrival of their meals, and Andy watched as Vic looked up at him and smiled back.

"So, how are you liking 19?" Andy said, turning to Kat, who was sitting silently, occasionally glancing at Ripley with an awkward and nervous sort of expression.

"It's...I don't know what I expected but it feels different to the Academy," she replied.

"I don't think anything can really prepare you for working," Andy agreed kindly.

"Anyway, how's your vacation going?" Kat asked innocently, and Andy automatically stiffened, glancing down the table desperately. She hadn't realised the others had lied.

"How's your dad's move going?" Vic bailed her out quickly, while Ripley and Sullivan suddenly redoubled their interest in their plates.

"Yeah, good," Andy said with relief, rolling still-sore shoulders back. "We've...pretty much finished. Weird to see our house look so ... empty." She took a deep breath. "But I guess he was right to downsize. It's pretty big for one person."

"And now you've ended up with a whole pile of boxes of stuff," Jack said cheerfully.

Her dad hadn't bothered to warn either of them that he was going to ask the other to help him finish his move. (To some extent, Andy figured she should be grateful that was pretty much the sum of her dad's reaction to the word that they'd been suspended. He'd been surprisingly calm, simply nodding and sighing, and then asking if she was okay. She'd lied and said yes). Enforced interaction with Jack had pushed them through the awkwardness, and Andy had found that that had helped her let go of a lot of her anger towards Maya.

She and Maya weren't good, yet, exactly, but they were better. They were talking again.

[And as petty as it was, she was somewhat glad that Maya didn't get to stay on their shift and had to move too].

"Man, if I was on vacation, the last thing I'd want to do would be help my dad move," Kat commented, oblivious to the awkwardness.

"Well, Hughes, you've got some vacation leave coming up," Sullivan said, obviously trying to move the topic on.

"Yeah," Vic said, sounding kind of shy, and Andy watched as she blushed a little.

"Wait, what, when?" Travis demanded, sounding put out.

"Didn't I tell you about this?" Vic asked with a frown. "End of the month? Two weeks?" Everyone around the table shook their heads.

Travis looked sheepish. "Oh yeah, I think I remember you mentioning it."

"There's been a lot going on," Ripley said quietly.

"What are you doing with your two weeks off?" Dean asked.

"Well," she glanced up, smiling at Ripley who beamed back at her. "We're going to Greece."

Travis gasped in alarm. " _Victoria Hughes_ if the two of you  _elope_ I'll..."

Vic laughed, still looking at Ripley.

"Now there's an idea," he said.

Travis scowled, and leaned across the table to hit the other man on the shoulder.

"You are  _not_ going to rob me of my opportunity to be Man of Honour, Lucas," he said fiercely. 

Ripley tore his gaze from Vic and laughed at Travis. 

"Is this the part where someone points out, Montgomery, that you can only be Man of Honour if he's around," Sullivan said idly.

"Vic," Travis pleaded. 

She sighed melodramatically. "Well, I guess that rules out eloping," she said.

"Probably," Ripley grinned back at her, and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. "Oh well."

"Where in Greece?" Maya asked. "I went to Athens in 04 for the Olympics. We didn't have much time to get out and around, but what we did see was amazing."

As the conversation became about travelling tips (Dean, as it turned out, had also been to Greece on family vacation), Andy continued to watch Vic and Ripley. Andy wondered how none of them had noticed it. They were like magnets, constantly looking at each other with a kind of direct eye contact that seemed really intimate, and both of them looked to the other for laughs at their jokes or for agreement on a point.

 _"Look, Andy," she looked over to Vic as the pair of them drove out to a call. "I just wanted to say...um...look, there was a kind of inevitability about it. Like, I know you think this is all a bit rushed and foolish but when I'm with him, being_ with _him feels inevitable. It makes_ sense."

Andy hadn't understood her friend's words then, but watching them now, she thought she might get it. Them being together was...as inevitable as a skydiver falling.

* * *

"Game of pool?" Sullivan practically grunted after everyone had finished eating.

"Me and Dean against you and the Chief?" Jack volunteered them immediately.

"I think he was after a challenge, Gibson," the Chief said dryly, and Sullivan barked a laugh.

"Please, Rip, you think you were  _ever_ a challenge?" their Captain retorted.

"Oh please -" Ripley started to respond, and Dean couldn't help but chuckle.

"There's infighting in the ranks already, Jack," he remarked, getting up from the table. "Piece of cake."

Ripley grinned, kissed Vic's temple, and said, "if you hear screaming, it's because we're teaching these boys a lesson."

"Oh yeah?" she grinned back at him. "Good luck, Jack and Dean!"

"Traitor," Ripley said affectionately, withdrawing his arm, and standing up. His expression fell into the more neutral one that Dean was accustomed to, and the four men made their way to a pool table. Jack started racking the balls for a game, while Dean chalked a pool cue. Nearby, Ripley was chalking his pool cue.

"How bad do you think it will be tomorrow?" he overheard Sullivan asking in a low voice.

"I'm not sure," Ripley replied, equally quietly. "To some extent it depends on HR's opinion of the whole mess. If they back me, I'm fine."

"Surely they can't  _not_ back you," Sullivan observed. Ripley gave him a wry smile.

"They can... _unenthusiastically_ back me."

"If that happens -"

"I'll protect her," Ripley said. "They'll have my head before hers. But Vic doesn't want me to step back, and frankly, I don't want to either. I can protect her more by staying where I am."

"So much for not getting involved in her career," Sullivan said dryly.

"I'm not," Ripley said steadily. "I'm protecting  _Frankel_."

"All right," Jack interrupted, having been oblivious to the conversation. "Your shot. Didn't manage to sink anything off the break, sorry Dean."

The game was fiercely contested, ending when Dean accidentally sank the white ball on the black (Sullivan and Ripley still needed to sink the ball 7 before they would be able to move onto the black too). Dean groaned, "sorry, Jack."

"Best of three?" Jack offered the two officers, who were busy high-fiving and patting each other on the back.

"Sure," Ripley agreed easily.

At some point during the second game, the rest of their team came over. Ripley was leaning on his cue, watching Jack take a shot, when Vic wrapped her arm around his waist. He immediately brightened, pulling her into his side with an arm around her shoulders. Ripley's turn was next, and Dean was unsurprised to watch the older man take his shot and then make a beeline back to Vic.

It was starting to feel normal, to see the two of them wrapped up in (or over) each other.

"I'm playing with a handicap here," Sullivan complained as on Ripley's next shot he took a perfunctory turn. 

"What, of your team-mate being far more interested in his fiancee than in the game?" Maya raised her eyebrows. "I feel that's actually a _good_ thing."

Their victory in the second match felt somewhat hollow, as Ripley simply shrugged. (Dean felt somewhat smug to see Sullivan looking appropriately upset).

"Lucas, I owe you a drink," Vic said.

"You do too," he said, grinning at her.

"But we're one game each," Jack objected.

"It's fine," Sullivan said hurriedly. "Luke, you can tap someone else in."

"I'll play," Kat spoke up, unexpectedly. 

"Good luck," Ripley said, handing over the cue and ignoring Sullivan's skeptical eyebrow, before taking Vic's outstretched hand and following her to the bar like a puppy.

* * *

 

 _You're not jealous_ , Maya reminded herself as she watched Vic and Ripley retreat to the bar.

(She was, just a tiny bit. The instant the rest of them had come over, Ripley's focus had switched from the game of pool to Vic whereas Jack had thrown her a grin and a wink but remained  intent on the game).

"They're newly-engaged," Travis said quietly in her ear as she watched them clink shotglasses together, both smiling widely at each other, and down them. 

"What are you talking about?" Maya asked briskly, trying to pretend she hadn't been watching, and a little embarrassed Travis had read her that easily.

He simply smiled patiently. "You and Jack are in a different place in your relationship," he said quietly. "Those two have spent almost their entire relationship trying to keep it discrete. They're enjoying being able to ... be together in public. And I think there's a security they're enjoying in being engaged."

"I'm not really a PDA girl," Maya retorted, throwing her hair back. 

"Neither was Vic, until she met the right guy," he replied evenly. 

"I'm still kind of surprised by this whole thing," Maya admitted.

Travis shrugged. "I know. But he's so sweet with her I can see why she wants that," he slid her a sideways glance. "And we all agree he's smoking hot right?"

"Oh yeah," Maya nodded emphatically. She glanced back at the bar, to see him resting a hand on her hip while her hands were tangled in his hair. They were making out. "Do you think it will last?"

"I think they will surprise us," Travis shrugged. "She...Vic  _adores_ him. Warren said to me that she was talking about whether she wanted kids with him."

"Seriously?" Maya let out a low whistle, her attention returned to the nearby pool game by a cheer from Andy. She glanced over to see that Kat was moving around, obviously on a roll. "Just kind of hard to believe that the two married people in our team are going to be Vic and Ben."

"Yeah," Travis sighed, fiddling with his ring.

"Drinks?" Ripley interrupted, placing first two jugs of beer and then a stack of glasses on the table she and Travis were leaning against. He and Vic, who now handed him one of the two drinks her her hands, were a little flushed.

"Thanks," Maya said, pouring herself a glass of beer, choosing not to comment.

"You've got some lipstick here," Travis said, barely hiding his amusement, as he rubbed at the corner of his own mouth.

Vic blushed, but Ripley simply wiped away the small trace of lipstick and gravely thanked Travis.

"We could make  _money_ off Kat she's so good at this game," Andy commented, walking up and helping herself to a glass of beer with her usual unerring ability to sense free alcohol. "Thanks for the beer."

"That explains the smug look on Sully's face," Ripley commented. Vic wrapped her arm around his waist again, cuddling into his side and taking a sip of her cocktail.

"What're you drinking?" Travis asked her.

"A Hurricane," she replied, offering him a sip.

"It's really sweet," Ripley interjected, making a face. Travis took a sip, and made the same face.

"Ew, Vic, how do you drink that?" he asked. Vic simply shrugged, smiling suddenly as the music changed.

 _Come on over_ sang Christina Aguilera. Maya was amused to see Ripley and Vic exchange grins and glances, before immediately singing along to the song _come on over baby_ , moving their shoulders in sync for a few lines before collapsing in laughter. 

[She'd known Vic could sing. But Ripley, as it turned out, could carry a tune surprisingly well].

"Who'd've thought, the Chief a fan of 90s girly pop music," Travis teased boldly, taking another sip of his beer.

Ripley simply shrugged, glancing fondly at Vic. "I've become...familiar with a lot of different music lately," he said.

"We have the weirdest spotify playlist," Vic added, leaning into his side more. "It's...eclectic."

"Eclectic," Ripley rolled the word around before proudly saying, "that's a great word for it, sweetheart." Vic beamed at him. 

Andy mimed a gagging motion at her, and Maya couldn't help but giggle at her sort-of best friend. 

The conversation was interrupted by a cheer from around the pool table as Sullivan high-fived Noonan, the two clearly winning. The pool players came and joined them, Sullivan immediately reaching for a glass of beer and draining it in two gulps.

"It doesn't count, the teams changed," Jack was complaining.

"Yeah, she's much better than the Chief," said Dean, before glancing at Ripley. "Uh, no offence, sir."

"None taken, she is better than me. Well done, Noonan," Ripley congratulated the rookie, who blushed. "Good game."

"Well, if you weren't so _distracted_ , Rip," Sullivan teased, throwing a mock-glare at Vic who simply smiled innocently.

"All right, our turn to play," Maya decided. "Me and Andy against you and Travis, Vic?"

Vic's grin fell off her face, replaced with an odd expression that Maya couldn't quite read.

"I'm good thanks," she said quietly.

"Oh come on," Andy wheedled.

Vic shook her head, "no." Ripley glanced at her, and shifted his position, arm over her shoulders suddenly looking more protective than affectionate.

"Noonan will play with you, Travis, right?" Ripley directed at the rookie.

"Of course," Kat's look of confusion was shared generally, but they let the topic drop and headed to the pool table. 

As Maya leaned over her cue to break, she suddenly worked it out. Playing pool involved bending forward, back to the room.

* * *

 

He was never doing this again, Travis thought to himself, sharing an awkward glance with the Uber driver as soft sighs emanated from the back seat. The driver reached for the volume control, turning the music up to Travis' relief.

They'd all gotten pleasantly drunk, and (as always when she was drunk) Vic was being particularly affectionate, draping herself all over Ripley at the bar. He hadn't thought twice about jumping into an Uber with them to go home, though, because Ripley hadn't been doing much more than just keeping his arm around her. Travis hadn't even had any misgivings when Vic had buckled herself into the middle of the backseat, curling against her fiance.

Apparently, Travis was not considered 'other people' though, because as soon as their driver had pulled away, the two of them had started making out like teenagers. (To be fair, they were being pretty quiet about it, but ... making out was never actually a completely silent activity). He risked a glance into the backseat, and immediately looked back, closing his eyes tightly and wishing he hadn't.

The street lamps were enough to show him that their tongues were definitely involved, that hands were under shirts, and that Vic was practically in his lap.

"They just got engaged," Travis said to the Uber driver by way of apology. The other man simply grimaced and nodded.

He was relieved that they separated on their own as they pulled to a stop outside her apartment block, climbing out of the backseat.

"Have a good night," Travis said, pretending not to notice that Vic's hand was still resting up Ripley's sweater on his stomach.

"You too," Vic answered for them, Ripley still looking somewhat dazed. "See you at work."


	27. Aftershocks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for Vic having to recount being sexually assaulted.

Kim gave him a sympathetic glance as he entered the office. He'd hastily swallowed a couple of Tylenol, and then for good measure a couple of Advil, and now his headache had receded somewhat. 

"Chief," she greeted with a smile. "Coffee?"

"It's not that bad, surely," Lucas replied dryly. Kim didn't usually make him coffee, saying that he was a grown man who could take care of himself. "But I'll take it, thanks."

She simply nodded, and disappeared to the kitchen. Lucas entered his office, sitting down at his computer and starting with his emails.

It wasn't exactly a surprise to him that when Kim returned with his coffee, Robyn Peterson was behind her.

"Thanks, Kim," Lucas said, and his PA smiled tightly at him before shutting the door behind her.

Robyn sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk with a sigh.

"You're probably lucky that Council is still reeling from the embezzlement scandal and is too busy with that to get involved," she said bluntly. "Because, frankly, Lucas, this is a mess."

"I'd like to point out that this wasn't our fault," he replied firmly.

"God, you  _know_ I'm not suggesting it is," Robyn said hastily. "But you suspending De Vrietz and Price was technically a breach of the conditions of your relationship."

"Given that Price and De Vrietz conspired to sexually assault Victoria, they're lucky all I did was suspend them," Lucas said coldly.

She eyed him, then reached into her handbag and set out a recorder on his desk.

"Before we start, I hear congratulations are in order," she said in a softer tone. "Please extend them to Victoria as well."

"Thanks, Robyn," Lucas replied.

* * *

 

Vic had now met Preston half a dozen times, and she liked him no more than on the occasion of their first meeting. In fact, she liked him less, and felt a little uncharitable about it as it probably wasn't his fault he was involved in interviewing her whenever something happened.

Still. She didn't like him.

And she  _particularly_ didn't like him right now, as he asked, "did you in any way encourage Battalion Chief De Vrietz when he made this...overture?"

"I told Battalion Chief De Vrietz to get the hell away from me when he hit on me," Vic said angrily. "Then again told him to get the fuck away from me when he came up closer and continued to make offensive and inappropriate comments to me." She took a deep breath, dropping her gaze to the table.

"And then," Preston prompted, a little more gently.

"And then he stepped up behind me and groped my breasts and said he knew I was open for business," she knew she sounded bitter, but the words came out easier than when she had to give her police statement. (Was that a good thing? Vic didn't know). "So I elbowed him, turned, and punched him in the face. He called me a fucking bitch and came forward with his hand raised to hit me and that's when Dean stepped in."

"EO Dean Miller," Preston said.

"Correct. He said later he was reading in the dayroom and heard me tell him to get away," Vic said. Preston ran her through what she remembered of the immediate aftermath of 'the incident' as he referred to it, before coming to Lucas' arrival.

"How did Chief Ripley come to know of the incident?" Preston asked.

"I think ACO Diaz called him," Vic said. "They arrived together, anyway."

"You didn't call him?"

"No."

"What happened when he arrived?"

"He came over to me, looked at my hand," Vic said. It had all been a bit of blur. "He apologised for it, and I got mad at him for doing so. Then we talked about whether I should make a complaint or press charges. Then two battalion chiefs I don't know arrived. I can't remember their names. The taller one was surprised that De Vrietz was in handcuffs, and said that De Vrietz had called the shorter one to say Lucas was firing him."

"Then?" 

"Lucas said he hadn't fired anyone. The shorter one said that he and De Vrietz had discussed saying something, but that De Vrietz wasn't supposed to actually touch me. Lucas got angry, and suspended him pending this HR inquiry. He told the other one that he expected him to make sure nothing like this happened again," Vic said. 

Preston nodded, writing something down, before looking back at her, folding his hands together. "Did you say anything to Chief Ripley about disciplinary action for De Vrietz or either of the other two battalion chiefs?"

"No."

"We're told that at one point, Chief Ripley moved to attack Battalion Chief Price," Preston said.

"He said something about hoping I was a good fuck," Vic said dully. "I don't know that Lucas made a conscious decision, he just started moving, and so I grabbed his shirt and asked him not to. Captain Sullivan and ACO Diaz came over as well. The taller one told Price - if that's his name - to get out of there."

Preston nodded. "Anything else?" 

Vic knew her statement had been a little disjointed, but frankly, that morning was all a bit of a blur. She and Lucas had talked a little about disassociation, and from what he said of his experience of it, she was lucky to remember as much as she had. She shook her head.

"Okay," he said. "Well. This might take a while. Probably not as long as the initial inquiry into your relationship with Chief Ripley but it's complicated -"

"I really think it shouldn't be complicated," Vic interrupted. "De Vrietz touched me after I explicitly said I wanted him to get away from me. Price said in front of a room full of people that they'd discussed it prior to it happening. What's complicated about that?"

"Chief Ripley's involvement that morning," Preston said flatly. "And the fact that these are important members of the SFD."

"This is why fire and police departments have such a reputation of misogyny," Vic argued. "A single high ranking white man is more important than an unranked black woman."

"You were glad the Chief didn't lose his job -"

"Lucas has never touched me without consent. I flirted with him, I invited him back, I kissed him first. It's a completely different situation," Vic retorted hotly.

"We have to be impartial," Preston said patiently. "We're done here."

Vic sighed. It wasn't worth putting HR more off side so she stood.

"Hughes," she paused, hand on the door. "Congratulations, by the way."

* * *

 

He got to the bit where he'd threatened Allen, and Robyn paused.

"That sounds like you want to declare war on a particular faction," she said carefully.

"When I was promoted to Battalion Chief, I disciplined about a dozen firefighters - Captains, Lieutenants, unranked firefighters - for making homophobic, misogynistic or racist remarks," Lucas reminded her. "We want to modernise this department, not leave it in the 1800s. I'm not naive enough to think that my clearing of the deck then stopped people from saying those kinds of things, but they stopped saying it in front of me." He hesitated. "I think my relationship with Vic makes some think that they can say things like that. Because it'll look hypocritical if I object; and because the conditions preclude me from getting involved."

Robyn eyed him for a long moment. 

"To be honest, when we put that condition in it was intended to be about if Hughes required disciplinary action," she admitted. "I think it's safe to say that none of us anticipated this level of harassment. We all knew she'd get snide comments, but to have captains and battalion chiefs going after a junior like this -"

"I thought it would focus more on me," Lucas agreed.

"I suspect people have realised that they'll get more of a rise out of you by targeting her," Robyn said quietly. "She's a weak point for you. As this weekend demonstrated."

There wasn't really anything Lucas could say in response to that, and he dropped his gaze.

"We're not going to alter that condition. You shouldn't be involved in any disciplinary actions that involve her. You are incapable of being objective about her," Robyn said firmly. "But it's also HR and Council - as your employer's - prerogative to decide whether to terminate your contract. You used your position entirely appropriately this weekend, I think, to suspend two officers who by all accounts conspired to sexually harass another firefighter. I hope that we don't need to look away again."

"That's up to the other officers in the SFD," Lucas said sharply.

"The HR department obviously supports all efforts to make the SFD a friendlier, safer place to work," Robyn said blandly. "I don't see how it's violating the terms of your relationship agreement or stepping beyond the bounds of your position to mandate a woman-friendly culture."

In other words, he could let rip.

"There's an emergency chiefs' meeting at 10," Lucas said, glancing at his watch. "To discuss this weekend's events."

"I think it would be appropriate for me to attend, and reinforce the message that certain behaviours are unacceptable," Robyn replied.

* * *

 

Vic forced herself to go into the kitchen, rinse a mug in the sink, and make herself a cup of coffee. She ignored Ben's concerned glance from where he was doing his study at the table, and headed into the dayroom, curling up in a chair. She reached for the remote, and turned the television on.

And promptly wished she hadn't. It was set to the local news channel where some sort of discussion show was on.

 _"As the first charges in the Seattle City embezzlement case are laid, against former Mayor Anthony Smith, you would think that the last person who'd want to draw attention to himself would be Fire Chief Lucas Ripley_ ," said the smiling blonde chair of the show. On that cue, they showed her handsome fiance's official photo, Lucas' face flashing on screen.

 _"Yes,"_ exclaimed the Asian woman next to her. " _And yet news has emerged that over the weekend he has fired two high ranking and senior officers in the Seattle Fire Department for making a comment about his relationship with a junior firefighter."_

Vic took a sip of her coffee, suddenly feeling exhausted as they put up the photo from a few weeks ago - of them on their first date - up on the screen. It was followed, to her muted dismay, by a photo of the two of them outside the pub last night clearly waiting for their ride. 

 _At least it's before we were making out_ , she thought idly. He had his arm around her shoulders, while she had one arm around his waist and the other clinging onto his belt.

 _"I mean, we can all agree that the workplace should be free from nasty comments, right?"_ said one of the panellists, an African-American woman.

 _"I'm not saying anyone deserves any hate_ ," said the blonde.

"But," Vic muttered.

_"But she had to know what she was getting into. She's sleeping with her boss. That's not okay!"_

_"You can't help who you fall in love with,_ " pointed out the Asian lady.  _"But firing someone for saying -"_

_"What we're all thinking!"_

_"Well, yes. I mean. He's at least, what, twenty years older -"_

"Fifteen," Vic interjected.

_"- and her boss."_

_"He's hot, you can't deny it -"_

_"But that's not the point. The point is that both of them should've known better, and he shouldn't be using his position  -"_

"Why are you watching this crap?" Travis' voice intruded, and the remote was snatched from her grasp, the sound muted.

Vic glanced at him and sighed. "Just wondering who's the evil and manipulative one this week," she said darkly.

Travis sat down in the chair next to her, pushing her feet up when she refused to move.

"You okay?" he asked, brown eyes warm with concern.

"Fine," Vic said into her coffee.

"Vic, come on."

"No seriously, I'm great. My favourite thing in the world, Kyle bloody Preston from HR interrogating me about my personal life, has only been improved by him interrogating me about how I was sexually assaulted and did I encourage him in any way and did I egg Lucas on into suspending them," Vic snapped.

Travis flinched, and he reached out to gently rest a hand on her knee. "Should you even be back this soon?"

"What, should I just drift around at home? What will that achieve?" Vic asked. "Besides, if Lucas can go in and go to a Chiefs meeting across from those assholes, I can come to work too."

"Lucas wasn't the one assaulted," Travis pointed out.

"But my work colleagues are nicer," Vic said. "And I'm not the one trying to work out what the political ramifications are."

"Is it that bad?" Travis asked in concern.

Vic shrugged. "He didn't want to talk about it on the weekend, and frankly, I didn't want to hear about it. But now I'm at work, and talking to HR, all of those consequences seem real. The weekend's over."

Travis shook his head in sympathy. "You guys need a break."

"Only three more weeks," Vic sighed.

There was a pause.

"He really has to sit with them?"

"And play nice."

* * *

 

Robyn finished her interview, clicking off the record button, and glancing at her watch. 

"Better get to that meeting," she said lightly, watching as the Chief sighed, standing and shrugging on his jacket.

She'd known Lucas Ripley for years. She'd been the assistant to the previous HR director when Ripley had been promoted to Battalion Chief, and had kept them all busy by referring firefighter after firefighter after firefighter for discriminatory behaviour.

In honesty, it had been that history of supporting minorities that had saved his job, along with Hughes' testimony that she had encouraged and initiated the relationship. 

Lucas was good at keeping his emotions close to his chest, and it had been a surprise to Robyn that the man had let someone from work get close enough to crack the veneer. And so it was only by seeing how he took a slow, deep breath in that she could tell he was under any stress at all as the two of them headed out of his office.

Mallory Watson from PR was waiting for them in Kim's office, and the two of them paused.

"Did you by any chance fire people on the weekend, Chief?" asked the short, plump woman.

Lucas sighed. "No, I suspended two Battalion Chiefs," he corrected. "I did put out a press relief via Mark, who was on over the weekend."

Mallory winced. "You put out a two sentence press release saying two officers were facing disciplinary action," she corrected pointedly, before asking resignedly, "any chance it wasn't over Victoria Hughes?" 

"Do I want to know?" Lucas said, sounding tired.

"Media's on it," Mallory confirmed. "And...any chance you and Hughes  _didn't_ go out drinking last night at a pub?"

"Drinks with her team," Lucas sighed.

"With the  _team_?" Robyn asked sharply.

"What are we supposed to do?" he snapped back. "Pretend that our relationship can exist in a vacuum? Vic made a good point - if I'm not on call for her then I'm not on call for her shift." There was a moment of silence. "We're getting married, for heaven's sake. We have to be at least friendly with each other's friends."

"I thought she was wearing a ring in one of the photos," Mallory said, clicking her fingers in satisfaction. "Let's make that the story."

"Story?" Robyn didn't envy Mallory her position, as she could practically see the storm-clouds gathering over the Chief's head.

"It's not just about your reputation, sir," the other woman stood her ground. "It's about the SFD's reputation. At the moment, the story going around is that you fired two high-ranking and well respected officers -"

"I didn't fire them," Lucas interjected loudly.

"The media's running with it because they don't like you," Mallory said bluntly, more bluntly than Robyn had ever heard her sound. "You dropped not one, but two big news stories - first the embezzlement, then your relationship with Hughes - and then you didn't talk to them. You issued a single written statement, and then have not spoken to them since. So, from the media's point of view, Price and De Vrietz were saying what they're all thinking."

Lucas didn't bother to correct her on the actual events; and neither did Robyn.

"Let's make your engagement the story, smooth it over with the press," Mallory urged. "The thing that will get them off your backs is making them bored - and nothing's more boring than a stable, happy relationship."

"My stable, happy relationship is private and I'm not using it as a political trampoline," Lucas said stubbornly. "How about the story is SFD reinforces a non-tolerance approach to discriminatory talk?"

"How about we do that press conference, you accept a question from a reporter that will ask and then congratulate you on your engagement," Mallory suggested.

"It would be one way to protect her," Robyn interjected. "Publicly stating that the two of you are getting married would probably give everyone in the department reason to pause before harassing her again."

While she respected Lucas and Victoria's decision (and understood it) to not discuss their relationship publicly, Robyn also felt it had opened them up to more whispers and speculation. [One look at the two of them in an interview, and she felt sure that nobody would dare think Hughes was his 'side chick' or that she was interested in anything but Lucas the man].

And  _that_ seemed to do the trick. 

"I'll call her," he sighed, pulling out his phone.

* * *

 

Her phone rang, interrupting the silence.

"This can't be good," she said with a sigh into her phone.

"I've rung about nicer things," Lucas confirmed, pausing for a second. "You talk to HR?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Fine," she knew she sounded tired, and there was a slight pause.

"Vic -"

"Let's do this at home," she said. She didn't want to talk about it. Probably not even at home, but in person she knew Lucas would be able to see she didn't want to talk and hold her instead.

"Okay," he said unhappily. "The media -"

"I'm watching," Vic interrupted dryly. "Apparently verbal harassment is what I deserve for sleeping with you."

She heard him inhale sharply.

"It's not," he said angrily. 

"I know."

"I hate this," he admitted.

"Me too."

"Mallory wanted our engagement to be the story; I said no, but at this point I probably do need to do a press conference. I wanted to talk about how we're cracking down at the SFD on discriminatory talk."

Vic sighed. "Well, the coverage can't get any worse," she pointed out. "And I think...when we agreed to not say anything it was because we thought this would all blow over. It hasn't."

"It died down for a bit," he countered.

"Yeah, but look at it now."

"I won't go into detail about the weekend," he said firmly. "And I won't make any statements about us - it'll come out in questioning."

"I would really like as few people as possible to know about the weekend," Vic said quietly, conscious of Travis watching her in concern.

"I promise to do that, Eggy," Lucas said fervently.

"Don't make promises about things that are out of your hands," Vic replied softly. "I trust you."

There must have been something in her tone that gave her away, because he replied with, "are you sure you're okay to be at work?"

"When the alternative is sitting at home watching this, yes," she snapped.

"Please don't watch that crap," he said. 

"I've done all my chores, and I can't exactly go punch things," Vic pointed out.

"Okay," he sighed. "But if you change your mind -"

"I'll talk to Sullivan, my captain, not _you_ ," she regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth.

"Okay," he sounded defeated. "This press conference will be probably around midday, after the Chiefs meeting. I better go. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, opening her mouth to apologise but he hung up before she could.

"I miss our bubble," she said, looking at Travis when he rested a concerned hand on her knee.

* * *

 

Lucas' jaw hardened as he hung up.

"Press conference after the Chiefs' meeting," he said grimly to Mallory. "Which I need to be at  _now_."

Without waiting for a reply, he strode down towards the conference room, Robyn falling in behind his right shoulder. He was late, and everyone - bar Frankel and Richardson who were both out on calls - was already there.

The chatter started to die down as he entered the room, but when he slammed his messenger bag on the table everyone went silent.

"I'm sure the SFD rumour mill has done it's job and you've all been fed varying versions of what happened this weekend," he said coldly, eyes finding Marks and Allen and glaring at them. "I'm going to make sure we're all clear on what happened, so that there's no messy rumours or half-truths."

The room remained silent. Lucas didn't bother to sit, clenching his hands over the back of his chair.

"Battalion Chiefs De Vrietz and Price will not be joining us," he said. "I suspended them both on the weekend without pay pending an HR inquiry which is underway. I'm expecting to fire both of them in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, stripping them of their pensions when I do."

Murmuring broke out, and Lucas glared at Chong, who abruptly went silent again.

"On Saturday morning Captain Sullivan of Station 19 had called Battalion Chief Frankel after De Vrietz sexually harassed Firefighter Hughes," he said, watching the room tense even further. "Frankel then called Assistant Chief of Operations Diaz, who called me, as nobody was clear as to whether the disciplinary powers assigned by HR to Frankel and Diaz would extend to Battalion Chief level. I suspended De Vrietz. Battalion Chiefs Price and Allen then turned up, having apparently been called by De Vrietz to say I was firing him. Price admitted to discussing with De Vrietz a plan to verbally harass Hughes, at which point I suspended him."

He looked directly Allen. "Battalion Chief Allen," he said as politely as he could. "Anything to add to that sequence of events? Any corrections you want to make?"

Allen swallowed hard, uncomfortable as the entire room turned to him. "No, sir," he said, shaking his head.

"If any other firefighter had been targeted by two senior officers like that," he knew he sounded bitter. "I would have fired them on the _fucking_ spot. Is there anyone in the room who would take issue with that?"

Nobody spoke.

"Good," he spat. "Now, I knew that there would be gossip and melodrama and so did she when we took the step of making our relationship public knowledge. What I expected was for the senior officers in this department to act like adults with some sort of moral compass and model behaviour to their juniors that I consider to be simple decency."

"Clearly I need to spell it out," he continued. "To be absolutely crystal fucking clear to every single person in this room: acceptable language when referring to _anyone_ in this department involves using their actual names. It does not involve denigrating anyone by colour, sexual orientation, or gender. Doing so is something called harassment. Doing so while making sexually explicit comments is called sexual harassment. Does anyone have any questions about this? Is anyone confused about how to refer to their colleagues with respect and what some would call common courtesy?"

Silence.

"Excellent, I'm so proud of all of you," he said sarcastically. "Now, let's move onto the next thing, which I also would have considered obvious. Making another firefighter feel physically uncomfortable in your presence by touching them is called physically harassing someone, and if that is done with sexual connotations that is called sexual harassment. Any questions or confusions about that?"

He didn't bother to wait. "So, to make myself absolutely perfectly clear to every single person in this room. Any firefighter of any rank who verbally or physically harasses another firefighter will be fired by me. Without any of their benefits. And I will personally ensure that they find it very difficult to find another job. I expect every single person in this room to pass this message down to both active firefighting and administration staff in their battalions. Do you understand me?"

There was silence, everyone - even Marks and his crew - looking somewhat shell-shocked to Lucas' satisfaction.

"I said  _do you fucking understand me_?" he shouted, fingers clenching and unclenching over the back of his chair.

"Yes sir!" the room chorused.

He waited a few moments, before pulling his chair out and sitting down.

"Right. Now, we need to adjust the roster to account for the two missing staff, as well as discuss likely candidates for their positions. Diaz, the roster to begin with," he said, opening his messenger bag and pulling out his notebook.


	28. Out of the Closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less Vicley heavy; will return to our regularly scheduled duo next chapter.

Vic glanced away from Travis, eyes landing on the TV.

She frowned, "remote!" she barked. The discussion show had apparently cut away to a live feed of Frankel in her turnouts in front of a building that looked mostly contained.

Travis glanced at the TV himself, and hit the un-mute button.

"-think of the fact that Chief Ripley fired two high ranking officers on the weekend?" the questioner was asking.

Frankel's eyes narrowed. "There's a lot of interesting and unfounded rumours going around," she said sardonically. "First, Chief Ripley suspended them without pay; he did not fire them, pending a HR inquiry. I would've thought this was implied by the press release from the weekend which said that two high-ranking officers were facing disciplinary action over harassment of a junior officer - how everyone got from that that they were fired is beyond me."

"Sources say that the junior officer in question was in fact Chief Ripley's girlfriend. Is that true, and if so, why was Chief Ripley allowed to be involved in disciplining those officers when there's a clear conflict of interest?" asked another journalist.

"I'm not going to release the identity of the junior involved," Frankel replied flatly. "And Chief Ripley acted entirely appropriately in suspending those officers until a formal HR inquiry could begin."

"Isn't it a bit hypocritical for a man who is dating a member of his command to -" 

"When I started in the SFD nearly twenty years ago," Frankel cut the question off. "I was one of three women in two years to join. Of the two other women, one left to have children and never returned and the other left the SFD eighteen months into their career. I don't blame them. The SFD at the time had a toxic culture if you were anything but a white man. I thought getting promoted to Lieutenant would reduce the abuse, but it made it worse. I was getting into fights, and would probably have been kicked out of the SFD except for the fact that a man named Lucas Ripley was promoted to Captain my station."

The press were silent.

"The then Captain Ripley did things like make sure I was able to shower uninterrupted. He shut down any conversation about women that was disrespectful. When fights broke out, he'd lecture me for using my fists instead of going to him, and then lay into those who made comments about how I needed to learn my place which was in the kitchen."

A strange expression crossed over Frankel's face.

"Over the last fifteen-odd years that we've known each other, Ripley has gone out of his way to make the SFD a safe place for me, not just as a woman," she took a deep breath. "But as a lesbian. He's known that I am a lesbian for almost the entire duration of our working relationship, and I've overheard conversations where he's been asked to speculate on my sexuality and he has never done so. He's always protected the rights of SFD members to a private life."

Travis and Vic exchanged a glance. "Did she just come out?" he asked incredulously.

"I think she might have," Vic said. "Shh."

"So in answer to your question, no, I don't think it's at all hypocritical for Chief Ripley, who's spent his career protecting minorities, to refuse to tolerate any harassment of any junior officer. Because he's done it for the duration of his career - not just for me, but for others in minority groups. He hasn't had to say it a whole lot over recent years, but he used to say that if you could carry a hose, use a Halligan, work a scene it didn't matter what the colour of your skin is, what gender you are, or who you prefer to sleep with."

* * *

Lucas hung up the phone, pride filling him.

He looked around the room full of chiefs and took a deep breath. "Battalion Chief Frankel is at a scene and it appears the questioning went on a tangent about this weekend's events," he said neutrally. "In the process of answering questions related to harassment in the SFD, she has come out as a lesbian."

Lucas had to raise a hand, as immediately conversations sprung up throughout the room. "Quiet!" he waited for them to settle. "It should go without saying that if anyone makes any homophobic comments, if anyone makes her feel uncomfortable in any way about her sexuality, I will throw them to the fucking curb."

He focused his gaze on Marks and his little gang. "Is that clear?" he waited for a moment, before addressing the room again in his iciest tone. "I _said_ , is that clear?"

"Yes sir," said the room again.

"All right. Now, Diaz, is that all the roster issues dealt with?" Diaz nodded wordlessly.

"I'll be opening up interviews for the positions -"

"Aren't you putting the cart before the horse?" asked Clark, shifting nervously as Lucas glared at him. "No-one's been fired."

"Yet," Robyn cut in, looking up from her tablet. "Interviews with witnesses are still ongoing, but on the testimony we've received I can say with confidence that we  _will_ be recommending termination without benefits for both men."

* * *

 "Ask Arthur Noonan," Mallory told him as Lucas adjusted his dress jacket. "He's actually the father of one of Victoria's crewmates. He's right on the left hand side, second row."

Lucas frowned. "Oh, the new rookie," he realised. "Kate?"

"Kathleen," Mallory confirmed, glancing at her paper. "Anyway, on the first question ask him. He'll phrase it nicely."

He took a deep breath, nodded, and pushed open the door to the press conference room. He had never quite got used to the rapid-fire clicks of the cameras, and the lights as they flash always leave him with a bit of a headache and the distinct feeling that his retinas are burning. Lucas made his way to his chair by memory, sitting down, and carefully arranging his written statement so it sat straight.

(He didn't actually need the written prompt, but it gave him a sense of security).

"I'm going to deliver a prepared statement," he said. "Then I'll take a couple of questions."

He glanced down, cleared his throat, and began.

"There's been a lot of rumours both in the media and through the SFD over the events of the weekend. I'd like to clear them up. At present there is a HR inquiry into whether two high ranking officers in the SFD conspired to sexually harass a junior firefighter. In the interests of privacy of both the junior firefighter in question and the high-ranking officers, I am not going to confirm any of the many rumours as to the identities of those involved. I suspended the two officers involved, pending HR's recommendation on further disciplinary action. The Head of HR, Ms Peterson, has indicated to me that I'm likely to receive the recommendations within the next forty-eight hours and I will release a statement at that time to advise you of the outcome of this inquiry."

He paused. "It is disappointing to me that in 2019 I have to emphasise that there is no place in the SFD for sexism, racism, or homophobia. This morning at a meeting of all the Battalion and Assistant Chiefs I have reiterated this to them, and they will be passing it down through the ranks. Making sexist, racist, or homophobic remarks is something for which any firefighter of any rank can and will be fired. Physically or sexually harassment, likewise, is something for which a firefighter can and will be fired, and criminal charges may apply. We have a no tolerance policy of discriminatory behaviour and it _will_ be enforced."

"Any questions?"

Instantly his name was shouted by over a dozen reporters. With the lights shining into his face, he couldn't actually see any of them distinctly, so turned his head to the left. "Arthur?"

"I know you have a policy on not commenting on your personal life, but sources suggest that congratulations on your engagement is in order?"

Oh god, he felt like a schoolboy, hating the flush that he could feel spreading across his face. He cleared his throat. "Um. Yes. Thank you. We're incredibly happy."

His name was screamed again, and he pointed randomly to the right this time. "Yes?"

"How did you pop the question?" came a breathless voice, and Lucas winced inwardly. He really needed to get some sort of idea of who these people were.

"Um, actually, she beat me to it. I was just glad that I was carrying the ring on me at the time, so I was at least able to give her that when I said yes," he said, unable to hide a grin.

"When's the wedding?" someone shouted. 

Lucas forced himself to chuckle good-naturedly, "we haven't decided, and I apologise in advance for the fact that your invitations will get lost in the mail."  _Being defensive won't help_ , he reminded himself of Mallory's words.

He obviously hit the right tone because there was a general chuckle amongst the crowd of reporters. He pointed randomly to somewhere in the middle.

"Have you seen Battalion Chief Frankel's earlier statement, and will you comment?" they asked, to Lucas' relief.

"Yes. We've known each other for years and I'm very glad she feels she can take this step. I have always and will continue to do my best to ensure that the SFD is a safe space for everyone to work in, regardless of gender, sexuality, or race. That's part of the reason why we have decided to both internally and externally restate our no-tolerance policy on discrimination and harassment."

"She mentioned you'd known for years? How did you find out?"

"I don't remember when or why she told me," Lucas lied. "But what consenting adults do off-duty in their private lives is none of the SFD's business."

* * *

 

"You all right to continue with overhaul?" Deb asked Captain Conlin briskly. The other man nodded, and for a moment, Deb basked in the fact that Ted and his crew would probably be the last to hear that she came out as they won't hear until they get back from the scene.

She escaped to her car, taking a moment to breathe. 

Deb had been thinking of coming out for a while, but it had felt like a kind of stupid thing to do as she was pretty sure everyone at the SFD suspected she was gay anyway. She wasn't sure if it was just the old rumours from when she had started, where everything that could be an insult was thrown at her, or if people actually  _knew_.

There was also no clear way to do it. She couldn't exactly add it as a post-script to a department email. So that tangent of questioning had seemed an easy way to casually drop it into conversation.

Except she hadn't had the chance to think about what she wanted to say beforehand. She couldn't even remember exactly what she had said. Nor had she warned Cindy.

Not that Cindy would mind, exactly. She'd been gently trying to nudge Deb into coming out for years. Cindy was out and proud in all aspects of her life, and Deb had always been a little envious of that.

Deb just...had been scared of coming out. Was scared of coming out; the repercussions hadn't been felt yet. She'd spent a lifetime trying to get the respect of her peers as a woman, and now it was going to be her having to get their respect as a lesbian.

She glanced at the clock in her car. It was just after two; Cindy would still be at work, there was no point calling.

There were no messages on her phone, and dread started to form in her stomach. She'd sort of expected some reaction, and certainly had expected for at least Ripley to message.

It didn't matter. She didn't need their respect. She clenched her jaw, started her car, and drove to HQ.

She went in the back way, only crossing paths with two junior-looking admin staff who stared at her. Deb ignored them, sailing past to her office.

Deb could hear them down the corridor, and her pace slowed, stomach clenching in anticipation.

Best to just act normal. Right?

She pushed open the door. 

"What the fuck are you all doing in my office?" she said as coolly as she coul, as her eye travelled around her office.

She'd sort of hoped and expected to see Ripley there. And she figured Mat Diaz would be supportive in his stoic way.

But although they were there, leaning against her desk, they were far from alone. Ramirez, Green, and Reynolds were there too - Ramirez and Reynolds were in the process of trying to tack up a massive pride flag behind her desk. Green, meanwhile, was gesticulating angrily with an alarmingly large kitchen knife.

So the core team of Chiefs she found herself politically aligned with were all there.

As were Hawkins, and Chong, and Lee - none of whom she knew terribly well.

"Hi Deb," Ripley said, smiling at her.

"I bought you a cake," Green said, waving the knife and gesturing to a cardboard box. 

" _I_ think it's in poor taste," Diaz said, unimpressed.

"No, look," said Green, shifting uncomfortably. "Frankel, I ... you and I don't always get along."

Deb simply raised her eyebrow at him. That was an understatement. Tom Green was the most annoying person she knew.

"When I left high school my best friend and I flatted together," he said, obviously struggling to work out what to say. "He was the quarterback. Great guy. Anyway." He looked down. "He told me he was gay after a year or so of us living together. I ... look, I didn't respond in the best way. I..."

The room was silent.

"Anyway," Tom swallowed. "We fought. He said he hadn't expected a party with a big gay cake or anything but that I could've been more of a friend to him. He was one hundred percent right. He died not long after, and ...you don't get to redo those moments, don't get to take back that reaction. So, here's the biggest, gayest cake I could get on short notice. Because as much as you and I bicker and fight, I do think of you as a good friend, and nothing has changed as a result of you saying that you're gay."

The room stayed silent, and Deb felt all eyes on her, waiting for her response.

"Thanks," she said, trying to hold back tears that were suddenly - traitorously - threatening to fall. Tom grinned at her in relief, offering her the knife, and opening the cake carton. "Fuck, Green, that's the ugliest fucking cake I ever saw!"

The tension broke as everyone in the room laughed, and crowded around the cake. It was round, and had what Deb assumed was supposed to be a pink unicorn head on it. She cut into it, and laughed as she realised it was a rainbow cake.

"You got a knife but not anything to serve it on?" Reynolds said in amusement.

"I'll go and grab some plates from the kitchen," Chong volunteered, ducking out of the room.

There was a bit of an awkward pause.

"Where the fuck did you get  _that_?" Deb asked Ramirez and Reynolds, as they finished sticky-taping the flag behind her desk. (It was lopsided).

"Cover your ears, Chief," Reynolds said, glancing at Ripley, who looked up at the ceiling with a sigh, but obligingly made a show of blocking his ears.

"Nicked it from city hall," Ramirez said with glee. Deb choked.

"Great, so when they realise it's fucking missing -"

"We told them it was for an event," Reynolds said. "So we didn't exactly  _steal_ steal it."

"It's not untrue, this is an event," pointed out Hawkins. Deb glanced at him, and the other man obviously sensed her surprise at his presence. He shrugged. "My kid's gay. She was terrified when she told us. I thought you might like to know that it's not just your close friends who have your back here."

"Same," Lee chimed in. "Not about the gay kid. At least, as far as I know. But, you know, I don't give a fuck."

Chong re-entered partway through Lee's statement, placing a pile of mismatched plates down on her desk. 

"We're all happy to fuck up whoever we need to," Chong said cheerfully.

Ripley groaned. "No, you're going to act like adults and tell me so I can fire them," he said grimly.

"Yes boss," Chong said sheepishly. 

"Don't say that shit when he's in the room," Ramirez said, rolling his eyes. Ripley glared at him.

Diaz chuckled, moving closer as Deb put the first slice of cake on a plate. "Take that one, Deb," he said. "I'll cut and serve the rest - this is your party."

She felt a bit awkward, but relinquished the knife to him.

"No spoons?" she asked in amusement.

And so that was how she ended up - still in a uniform that faintly smelled of smoke - eating cake with her fingers with half a dozen of the top brass of Seattle FD in her office.

"You missed a great Riptide this morning," said Green brightly. "Boom."

Deb glanced at Ripley who was glowering at his rainbow cake with a vehemence it did not deserve.

"While I'm sorry I missed them being put in their place, I'm sorry it had to happen," she said quietly. Ripley looked a little surprised, but his expression softened a bit.

"Thanks."

"How is she?"

"Fine," he said, but the thread of worry in his tone was clear. "Back at work. I nearly got my head bit off this morning when I suggested she take the day off."

"I could drop by and check in on her," Deb offered.

"That _will_ get me my head bitten off," Ripley shook his head. "Vic's sensible. I trust her to know if she needs a break."

"Sullivan's there," Diaz said. "He'll keep an eye on her." Ripley shrugged.

"Anyway, now we can ask," Green began. Everyone groaned. "Which one of us would you date?"

"You're just losing any kudos you just earned, Green," Diaz said. 

"Besides, she'll just say Ripley," added Reynolds. Everyone looked at him in surprise. "I would." He shrugged unapologetically.

"Thanks, Al, I'll remember that," Ripley said good-naturedly.

Green rolled his eyes. "Well?"

"God no," Deb replied. "He's too annoyingly  _nice_. All a bit too perfectly ... considerate."

Ripley threw his head back and laughed. "I need that in writing, for when Vic and I argue next," he said.

"Pretty sure giving her a note from another woman calling you perfect in the middle of a fight is not a good idea," Hawkins chuckled. "Sir."

Ripley nodded gravely. "I'll keep that in mind."

"None of you," Deb said firmly to Green's raised eyebrow. "If, gun to my head, I had to marry a man, I'd pick someone who was on death's door and rich."

Everyone laughed, and to Deb's relief the question was abandoned in favour of a recap of how Reynolds and Ramirez had managed to nearly make it all the way through City Hall with a five foot pride flag carried between them.

The door opened suddenly, and Deb looked over, surprised to see Cindy there.

"Deb I -" Cindy stopped, midsentence, jaw falling open slightly as she took in the room full of men eating rainbow cake with their fingers and the giant pride flag behind Deb's desk.

"Everyone, this is Cindy," Deb said, a mixture of pride and relief passing through her as she realised she didn't have to lie about who Cindy was. "My partner."

"Welcome to the party," Green said boisterously. "I'm Tom, Tom Green."

"I've heard about _you_ ," Cindy recovered with remarkable aplomb (as always), shaking Green's hand.

"Believe none of it," he said with a grin that was intended to be charming, but looked ridiculous given the frosting moustache he was currently sporting. 

"That's Mat Diaz, Al Reynolds, Simon Ramirez, Matty Chong, Peter Hawkins, Mike Lee," Deb quickly introduced the others. Cindy shook their hands, then turned to Ripley.

"Hey, Lucas," she said warmly, giving him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Deb was amused to see Ripley flushed a little still. "How are you?"

"Good," Cindy said. "Does this mean I finally get to meet the infamous Vic? I've been so intrigued about this person from what Deb's said of her."

"Hughes called Frankel a bitch to her face," said Ramirez in awe to a confused looking Chong, Hawkins, and Lee. All three men looked taken aback, glancing between Ripley and Frankel.

"She deserved it, deliberately pushing buttons," Cindy said, patting Deb's arm affectionately. "Anyway. Do I get to meet her?! At this rate you'll be married to her before that happens!"

"Well, actually, Laura's in town this weekend and we were having lunch on Saturday?" Ripley offered.

"Cindy and the Chief were at school together," Deb explained to the others, as Cindy agreed for them.

An awkward silence fell.

"Cake?" Deb offered. Cindy headed over and helped herself, laughing. 

"Who organised this?" she asked.

"Green," said everyone.

"It's actually really nice," offered Chong.

Another awkward silence fell.

"Right, I know you all have jobs to do, so get to it," Ripley said, clapping his hands briskly. "Take your plates."

"Leave the cake," said Cindy. They bid bye to everyone, Ripley giving Deb a quick half-hug before shutting the door behind him. 

"You came out," Cindy said quietly, wonderingly. "To your colleagues."

Deb shrugged, fully aware of how close they were.

"I've been thinking about it for a while," she confessed. "Seemed like I should."

Cindy smiled softly, resting her hand on Deb's forearm. "How do you feel?"

Deb took a breath, glancing at the remnants of the cake and the flag tacked behind her desk (one edge was teetering precariously, about to drop).

"Good," she realised.

Cindy beamed at her, and pulled her into a deep kiss. "I love you."

Suddenly, the little box in her top desk drawer seemed much more important, and Deb broke away, ignoring the surprised expression on her partner's face. She retrieved the small box from her drawer, and knelt down.

"Oh my god," breathed Cindy.

"Cinders, I know we both have mixed feelings on the institution of marriage," Deb began. "But...I came out for two reasons. One was for myself. The other was for you. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, whether we want to be married or not. And I hope you will accept this ring as a symbol of that love and committment I have for you."

Cindy wiped away a tear unashamedly.

"Oh, Debbie," she said. "I'd love to marry you."

Deb couldn't help the smile, or the tears, as she slid the ring onto her fiancee's finger and stood, drawing her into an embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride! <3
> 
> Forgive me this little change of pace; Deb Frankel has been a bit of an MVP in my stories and I really wanted her to have the happy ending she deserves. It also felt like a nice way to show how Vicley have influenced those around them - Deb figured that if Lucas Ripley could openly see a junior, African American, younger female firefighter then she could get married and be openly a lesbian.


	29. Triple Dates

"I have nothing to wear," Vic said, standing in front of her open wardrobe. She pivoted to the dresser, opening another drawer. "Nothing."

That was how Lucas found her, wearing just her panties and a bra, when he stepped out of her bathroom towelling his hair dry.

"Eggy, what -?" he asked, staring at the bed on which she'd discarded multiple outfits.

She didn't let herself get distracted by the fact that he was naked.

"Look, I like Laura, but it's stressful enough having breakfast with your ex-wife," she hissed at him. "Without you inviting my boss and her partner too!"

He looked a little sheepish. "You'll like Cindy," he offered. "She's really funny and laid-back."

"Argh," Vic exclaimed. "There's just no guide as to what to wear when going on a triple date with your fiance, who happens to also be your boss, his ex-wife, and your Battalion Chief and her partner who went to school with your fiance and his ex-wife!"

Lucas blinked, throwing the towel carelessly over the chair in the corner of her room. "Whatever you wear will be fine," he said, almost nervously, reaching into the dresser and pulling on a pair of briefs before reaching for jeans.

"Lucas!" she glared balefully at him as he pulled on jeans, a plain t-shirt, and then the sweater he'd discarded last night on.

"You look good in anything," he said, sitting back on the bed to put on his socks. Vic put her hands on her hips, turning to face him. He grinned wolfishly at her, eyes trailing down her body. "I mean, you could just go like that, but we might make the news again."

It had the desired effect of taking the edge off her anger, and she rolled her eyes and laughed at him despite herself. "I just had the perfect thing picked, and now I can't wear it?"

"Why not?" he asked, getting up and reaching out to rest his hands on her hips. 

"Because it was cute and casual without being too  _I'm your ex-husband's much younger fiancee_ and now I can't wear it because it's too casual for lunch  _with my boss_ -"

He cut her off with a kiss.

"If I know Deb," he said, drawing back and cupping her face. "She'll be wearing jeans and a band t-shirt from some 80s group. Cindy and Laura are both teachers, so they dress like teachers."

She rested her hands on his shoulders. "Dress like teachers, what does that even _mean_?!"

Lucas shrugged. "You know. Teacher-ish," he said unhelpfully.

"Men," Vic groaned. "Also if you'd _given me more warning_ I wouldn't be trying to sort this out  _now_ , fifteen minutes before we have to leave."

"Why are you so bothered about this?" he asked.

"It's lunch with your ex-wife, my boss, and my boss' partner!" she said through gritted teeth. He simply blinked, clearly confused.

"You know, I'm glad it didn't work out with Laura," Lucas said, words rushing over each other. "Or Eva. I'm glad I'm here with you now, and I wouldn't change anything."

She patted a scruffy cheek. "That's very sweet, but this isn't about that," she assured him. He watched her with patient blue eyes as she tried to explain. "Laura...Laura's a big part of your life. As was Eva. At some point, you loved those women enough to marry them, and I know they're still important to you even if Eva's someone you actively avoid. I don't want to be that bitch of a new wife, because that clearly didn't help Eva. I want to be on good terms as much as I can with them, because it'll make our lives nicer as evidenced by the fact that one of Laura's old friends is my Battalion Chief's girlfriend!"

"Well, I wear my uniform if I need to feel safe," he said with a shrug.

"I can't wear my uniform to lunch, Luke," she replied.

"Well, wear something that makes you feel safe," he said. 

It wasn't the worst advice in the world, and she tilted her head at him. "Maybe you learnt something from  _Queer Eye_ after all."

He grinned, and Vic fished her black jeans from under a pile of jeans and skirts on the bed and pulled them on. She pulled on her favourite red shirt before quickly heading into the bathroom, cleaning a patch on the still steamed mirror so that she could apply her makeup. Shrugging on her leather jacket, Vic nodded. She felt fierce. And like herself. And it was always gratifying to see Lucas immediately check her and her skinny jeans out.

* * *

 

Vic figured about the most obnoxious thing she could do would be to cling to Lucas. So while she held his hand to the restaurant door, she dropped it as she got there. He threw her a hurt look.

"You don't think it'll be weird to be too PDA-y in front of your ex-wife?" she said pointedly.

"Holding hands isn't really PDA, and we got divorced twenty plus years ago," he retorted. She gave him a look.

"Whatever you want, darling," he sighed, gesturing her through the door. He didn't reach for her again as Vic glanced around the restaurant. They were the first ones there.

Lucas took her hand under the table when she wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Lunch was your idea," he reminded her gently. 

"Yeah, but that was when it was just Laura," she said waspishly.

"Is it Cindy or Deb? Cos you know Deb now," he asked.

"It's all three of them, in combination!" Vic hissed, dropping his hand as she spied Laura making her way through to them.

"Hi guys," his ex-wife smiled as she reached the table, and Vic and Lucas both stood, giving her a quick hug and peck on the cheek. Laura looked beautiful and glamorous; and Vic thought idly that she wouldn't have called her attire teacher-ish as much as soccer mom-ish. 

"Hey, Laura," they chorused.

"Congratulations, Vic," Laura said, smiling at them both, as she took a seat across from Vic. "I already said so to Lucas, but I'm really glad he found you. Or you found him."

"Thanks," replied Vic, returning the smile. She'd sort of expected  _that_ part of the lunch would be awkward, but was surprised to find it wasn't. Laura seemed genuine in her congratulations, and as Vic glanced down at the other woman's hands she was reminded that Laura had already remarried.

"How late do we think Cindy and Deb will be?" Laura asked. "They're  _always_ late."

"Well, I told them that we'd meet at twelve thirty," Lucas said. "Not 1300."

Laura rolled his eyes. "Why can't you just use normal time?" she said in a long-aggravated tone.

"Because I work in 24 hour time," Lucas replied passive-aggressively. "Anyway, so they'll probably be another five or ten minutes or so."

"When we were in high school, Cindy was nearly half an hour late to her own birthday party," Laura told Vic. "We were all sitting there outside the bowling alley waiting for her to arrive." Vic laughed at the mental picture.

"Since meeting Deb it's only gotten worse," Lucas added. "Deb was always twenty minutes late to everything, and when combined..."

"How long have they been together?" Vic asked curiously.

"Ooh, twelve years?" Laura replied, glancing at Lucas questioningly. 

"Ten?" he said with a shrug. "I was still her captain."

"But I think it was before I moved away..."

The conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Frankel, who was shyly holding hands with a beautiful Asian lady with a short bob hair cut. Lucas had been right; Frankel was wearing jeans and a band t-shirt, and looked different with her hair pulled back into a casual ponytail. To be fair to Lucas, Cindy's attire _was_ vaguely teacher-ish; with a flowery shirt and jeans. 

"Hi," the woman, Vic could only assume was Cindy, said brightly, waving. "Laura, darling, you look fabulous. Lucas, how are you honey? And you must be Victoria!"

"Hi," Vic managed to say, before she too was enveloped in an embrace. "Nice to meet you."

"I've heard so much about you," Cindy said, as she and Frankel took seats next to Laura. Cindy glanced down towards Laura. "Did you hear that she called Deb a bitch to her face!"

Vic paled. "I -"

"No!" Laura exclaimed in delight. "Gosh, Vic, you're a braver woman than ... well ... anyone I know! Even Lucas would be too chicken to do that."

"I just have too much respect for women to ever call someone that," Lucas said piously, and the entire table rolled their eyes at him. The conversation was interrupted briefly by the waiter taking their orders.

"Anyway, congratulations, Victoria," said Cindy. "And I have to thank you for proposing to Lucas, because I think it got into Debbie's head, and she proposed to me the other day!"

"Oh my god," Laura beamed at them, throwing her arms around the couple - well, mostly around Cindy and sort of patting Frankel on the shoulder.

"Congratulations," Vic said, beaming. 

Lucas grinned. "This is great," he said. "So happy for you both!"

"So, double wedding?" teased Laura.

"No way," Cindy, Deb, Vic, and Lucas all said at once, before glancing at each other and laughing. 

"I was going to follow that up with 'no offence' because we don't really know each other well yet, Victoria -"

"Vic," she interjected. "Friends call me Vic."

"Vic," Cindy repeated with a pleased smile. "But I plan on having the biggest, gayest wedding possible."

"I was just thinking no wedding needs three brides," murmured Lucas, before glaring balefully at Laura and exclaiming, "ow! You didn't need to kick me! What are you wearing, steel-capped boots?"

"Don't be such a fucking baby," said Frankel, taking a deep breath and glancing at Cindy (adoringly and adorably, thought Vic). "But I think a big wedding is the least I owe her."

"With a big gay cake?" Lucas asked archly, and Laura and Vic exchanged confused glances as the other three laughed.

"Ramirez and Reynolds are definitely on flag duty," said Frankel. Lucas groaned.

"I can't lose Battalion Chiefs because they get caught stealing flags from City Hall!" he objected. "The Acting Mayor rang me the next day and tried to give me a lecture!"

"Tried?"

"Patched it through to Reynolds. I would've thought he'd've been the voice of reason," Lucas replied. 

"Some of Debbie's work colleagues threw her a pride party," Cindy explained to Vic and Laura. 

"For all that cake was ugly as fuck, it was delicious," Frankel muttered. 

"You may have been joking, Lucas, but I want that cake," Cindy said determinedly. "Honey, you said it was Green who got it?" Frankel nodded.

"This sounds like an amazing wedding," said Laura. "I'd better be invited."

"Sweetie, I'm inviting everyone we know," said Cindy. "You three  _have_ to be there." She nudged Frankel pointedly, and they had a brief, whispered argument as Lucas exchanged an awkward look with Laura and Vic.

"If you're too chicken to ask him -" Cindy was saying.

"He might want to say no -"

"Lucas won't say no -"

"Better just ask me, Deb," said Lucas dryly.

"Fine," she said rebelliously. "Willyoubemybestman?"

Lucas blinked, a slow grin spreading across his face. "You serious? Of course. I'd be honoured."

Frankel let out a relieved sigh. "Thanks," she said gruffly.

"This means I get to make a speech," he said in delight. "And organise the stag do. Uh. Doe do?"

Frankel's eyes widened with horror. 

"It's a hen do, Lucas, not a doe do," Vic corrected.

"Cos that sounds ridiculous," Laura rolled her eyes at him. "Wait, do I get to come to both hens?"

"No strippers, Lucas Ripley," Cindy ordered, pointing at him. He laughed and held his hands up.

"I didn't have strippers at either of my bachelor parties," Lucas said. "Although for this one..."

Vic rolled her eyes at him. "If you get strippers, I get strippers," she said easily. Lucas laughed.

"So, big gay wedding over here," Laura said. "You two?"

"Haven't really decided yet," Lucas said tightly, thanking the waiter as their meals were delivered.

"Small," Vic said, before glancing at Lucas. "Right?"

"God yes," he said, sounding relieved.

"I suppose there's been enough fuss," Laura said sympathetically. "I feel like I'm at a table with celebrities."

Lucas stabbed his carrots with unnecessary force. Vic groaned. 

"I mean, at least the coverage is now positive," said Cindy optimistically.

"Is it?" Vic asked, looking over. "I try to not hear any of that crap."

"Probably safest," Frankel murmured. "It has been better since Rip did that press conference on Monday."

"I think yours helped," Ripley demurred. "Anyway. How are the kids, Lu?"

Laura raised an eyebrow at him, but let the clumsy attempt to change subjects slide.

"Driving me nuts. How on earth did you manage with Jennifer?" she demanded. "I mean, you dealt with a teenager who'd lost her parents."

Vic watched as Lucas's expression tightened. "Oh, you know. She was a good kid. I was...I think she knew that I was doing my best to look after her, and I made it clear that she could drink, smoke, whatever, as long as she called me to pick her up."

"It's still crazy to me that you essentially brought up your kid sister," Cindy said, shaking her head. Lucas shrugged.

"Had no choice," he said shortly. 

"You didn't have any other relatives?" Frankel asked curiously. Vic let her hand slip off the table, squeezing his thigh.

"Not on Dad's side," he replied. "Mum's side are all in Australia, and we couldn't exactly afford flights there  _and back_. Plus Jen didn't want to leave Seattle."

"Well, you know he'll be a great Dad, Vic," Laura said, and Vic choked on her water. "Jennifer's turned out well-adjusted despite everything, and Lucas even dealt with her first period and took her bra shopping..."

Vic decided to focus on the second part of that. "You took her  _bra shopping_?" she asked incredulously.

He winced exaggeratedly. " _Worst_ experience of my  _life_ ," he said. "First, we both had to deal with the fact that it was awkward as fuck. Second, all the store people kept giving me weird looks when we walked into bra shops - I mean, I was this twenty year old college kid -"

"With long hair -" Laura interjected.

"And I had this twelve year old with me. Looked a bit ... Ended up going to some department store and finding an old lady and pulling out the orphaned siblings deal and she did all the ... " he gestured, and all the women at the table laughed at him. "Whatever it is women do when they buy bras. Never went with her again - got her to go with her best friend and her best friend's mom. Should've done that in the first place."

Vic shook her head, still giggling. "Poor Jennifer!"

"Poor Jennifer! Poor me!" he protested.

"Hey, when I was a kid, I would have been  _mortified_ if my dad had seen my bras, let alone my brother," Vic said.

And instantly regretted making such a careless statement when Cindy asked, "what do your folks do, Vic?" 

Lucas winced, reaching down to take her hand under the table.

"My parents are dead," Vic said with a fake easiness. "Long time ago now. My big brother's in the marines, he's on deployment. Haven't seen him for over eighteen months."

"Must be tough," Laura said sympathetically. 

Vic shrugged. "It's the way it is," she said pragmatically. She cast desperately around for a different topic, eyes landing on Frankel's shirt.

" _Violent Femmes_ , hey?" figured Frankel was into punk. She seemed like a punk sort of person. "They did  _Blister in the Sun_ , right?"

"That's right," Frankel said. "Great band live."

"How does that song go?" Laura frowned.

" _When I'm-a walking I strut my stuff_ ," Lucas and Vic started singing immediately, grinning at each other, as Lucas tapped out the rhythm on the table. " _And I'm so strung out, I'm high as a kite, I just might stop to check you out -_ "

They paused, and then Frankel joined in for, " _let me go o-on, like a blister in the sun, let me go o-on, big hands I know you're the one!_ "

Cindy groaned. "It's a song about masturbation," she said bluntly.

"It's a song about heroin," Frankel objected. "The singer gave an interview about it."

"There's definitely a verse about masturbation," Cindy said dubiously.

"And  _big hands I know you're the one_?" Vic added sceptically.

"It's about how a girl told him once he had small hands, the implication being only guys with big hands -" Frankel trailed off, and Lucas squirmed as everyone immediately reflexively glanced at his hands.

* * *

 

"I thought that went well," Lucas said, collapsing on the couch in her apartment.

"Mmm," Vic replied, falling next to him and immediately curling into his side. "Cindy seems nice. Opposite of Deb."

"I like her but she can be a bit exhausting," Lucas replied. "She talks...a lot."

Vic chuckled, nuzzling his chest. "Some people say the same about me."

"Yeah but you say interesting things," Lucas dropped a kiss on the top of her head. 

"Flatterer," she accused.

"I never find you exhausting," he said quietly after a moment, running his hand up and down her arm. "Being with you is invigorating. Intoxicating. Other nice in words."

"I'm glad," Vic said, tilting her head so their lips could meet for a proper kiss. "I didn't realise the media coverage had swung."

"We're a beautiful forbidden love story," he said darkly. "I figured you'd seen it."

"Nope, I stopped watching it after you did that quick press conference firing them."

"Still think that felt a bit anti-climactic," he grumbled. 

Vic shrugged, patting his stomach. "I'm just glad it's done."

"Me too."

"I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier in the week," Vic said, tilting her head back again to meet his eyes.

"You weren't."

"I was," she disagreed. "Thank you for being so great about this."

He sighed heavily. "I'm not doing anything special," he said. "I'm just sorry I couldn't stop it, and can't make it never have happened."

"Yes, how dare you be unable to perform miracles," she said dryly, pecking his lips again. Wanting to get off the topic, she gave him a slow, suggestive grin. "Except with your hands. Your big hands..."

Lucas chuckled as Vic let her hand slip under his sweater up his firm abs.

(God she loved his body. His mind too, and his heart, but his body really was the cherry on the cake that was him).

"You want a miracle?" he teased, kissing her gently.

"Yes," she whispered against his lips, giving him her best seductive look.

(It was gratifying how easy he was).

 


	30. Another Straw

"Oh god, a fire in a hospital," Vic breathed as Travis  _drove_ like hell to Seattle Presbyterian.

"Don't open fire doors. Make sure the oxygen is turned off. Only evacuate if ordered, and ideally horizontally," Andy chanted from her seat next to Travis.

"It'll be a piece of toast in a staff room," Travis said, the whiteness of his knuckles giving away his worry.

He pulled up at the scene; they were the first there. Vic jumped out of the engine; it was clearly more than just a piece of toast in the staff room. There were people already milling outside, and smoke was pouring out of the second - or the third floor windows. (She wasn't sure).

"Okay, 19!" Sullivan barked, calling them over to the ipad he was holding where a plan of the building was pulled up. "The fire alarms indicate this started on the third floor, in the general surgical unit. There are four hose reels. I want Hughes and Noonan to take the closest side fire stairs up, and pull this hose reel down to the general surgical unit. Herrera, you and Montgomery help coordinate evacuation of that surgical unit first horizontally to this side of the building, and then down. Miller, Warren, you take the far fire stairs and attack using this hose reel into the other side of the general surgical unit. When more units arrive, we'll tag you out and redistribute on our vehicles as required. GO!"

They all ran in, Warren and Miller peeling off to run to the opposite side of the first floor.

The reception area was eerily deserted, and Vic realised that the first floor must have evacuated. They found the fire stairs easily enough, and raced up, entering into a corridor on the third floor.

It was clear of smoke, and the signs clearly indicated that the general medical unit was to the left, and the surgical unit to the right. The fire hose reel was right where it should be; in front of the fire doors that were closed to the general surgical unit. Kat and Vic opened it, unrolling the reel to the door. 

"Ready?!" Andy yelled, hand on the door.

"Water on!" Vic replied, and Kat flipped the switch as Andy yanked open the door. Vic advanced into the ward.

Visibility was minimal. The smoke in the air was thick, and the automatic sprinklers had turned on making her visibility even poorer. The fire alarms were going off, and the whole room felt hot. Vic slowly advanced.

"If anyone's in here they're toast," she radioed. "Smoke's thick."

"Okay," Sullivan's voice came in over the radio. "Herrera, Montgomery, do a quick sweep. Anyone alive, get them out to the medical ward, and then organise the evacuation of the medical ward down. Station 42 has just pulled up, and they're going to run lines up to you all."

There was a pause, a crackle of static.

"I'm handing over to Chief Ripley as incident commander," Sullivan said.

Vic paused in her sweep of the small bed bay. "Sir -"

"We don't have the manpower right now, Hughes," Lucas' voice crackled over the radio, clearly tense. "For now, keep feeding everything through Sullivan, and you'll be tagged out when we have the personnel."

"Yes Chief," she replied.

"Isn't that really inefficient for us to be feeding it through Sullivan to feed it to Ripley?" Kat shouted to her.

"No time to explain," Vic shouted back. "Let's move on to the next bay."

The next bed bay was floridly on fire, and it looked like the automatic sprinklers hadn't activated. Andy and Travis ran back past them.

"There's no one here to be rescued," Andy said grimly. "We're going to start evacuating the other side of this floor. You keep here."

Vic nodded, concentrating on passing the water across the room, across the base of the fire.

"Heard you kids needed help," came a shout, and she glanced over her shoulder to see two of the boys from 42 carrying a line.

"Good to see you!" she shouted back. "You keep on to the next room. We'll just leapfrog each other. The next pair can guard our exit - Kat will keep an eye on it for now."

"You'll be here a while," one of them said, glancing back and estimating the distance to the door. "But radio us immediately if there's any worries about the exit."

"Of course! You should meet Miller and Warren coming from the other end of the ward!"

* * *

 

Just once he could have used an easy week at work. Just once.

But no, he was the closest Chief so dispatch had sent him here. To a hospital which had the third floor on the western side on fire.

With Vic inside.

He couldn't tag her out; they had nowhere near enough manpower to do that. Station 23 had arrived two minutes after him and were setting up their ladder for an external attack. Station 42 were already running lines into the third floor. 

"Get your team to set up an extra two lines for 19's firefighters to use," he barked at 42's captain, who nodded, turning away to relay the order through the radio.

Station 12's captain raced up next to him.

"Sir!" she said, buckling her helmet.

"Start at the top, evacuate everyone from the western to the eastern side of the building," he ordered. "Then ambulatory patients down and out."

"We're evacuating the whole hospital?" 12's captain - Lucas was pretty sure her name was Jones - asked incredulously.

It was the thing you didn't do unless you had to. 

But Lucas' instincts were screaming at him to do so. They weren't there yet...but they would be. And he'd rather look like a fool and move patients across and out now than miss a window of opportunity.

"By the time you get them all out of the western side, they'll need to get out," he said tightly. "Go!"

"Sir!" 12's captain raced off.

Of course, it was Ryan Tanner who stepped out of the police car that had screeched to a stop.

"Are you the only cop in Seattle?" Lucas demanded, holding up a hand when the younger man opened his mouth. "No time. I want all the roads in and out of this hospital blocked except to emergency vehicles."

"The entire block?"

"The hospital's on fire, and we're going to have to put the patients and staff somewhere," Lucas pointed out. "At the moment, that will be in the streets. So block me off an area!"

Tanner scampered back to his car.

"Sully, I need you to organise the evacuees," he said to his old friend who'd been hovering. "Ambulatory on that side, non-ambulatory on that side, organised as per the treating doctors and nurses by order of their need to be transferred. Feed me back information about 19's crew as required."

"You really think it's going to go that ba-"

Sullivan's question was interrupted by a loud crackling sound and shouts.

"We think the fire's spread to the fourth and second floors," came word from the 23's ladder.

"The team on the third floor, western front, evacuate yourselves now," Lucas ordered. "We'll commence an external attack when we receive word you're out." He clicked his radio off and turned to Sullivan. " _That's_ what I was afraid of. Split the third floor team, half up a floor to help evacuate the ward above, the other half down to evacuate below."

He couldn't be the one to assign Vic. Both options were dangerous, but one was closer to the ground.

"We're out," Vic reported. "All accounted for."

"42's crew, head up to the fourth floor and evacuate the western side," Captain Conlin of 42 made the decision for him. He clicked off his radio, looking directly at Ripley and Sullivan. "Send 19 down to the second floor."

Lucas could only nod at him and move on.

* * *

 

"We're out," Vic reported, as the mixed crew of 42 and 19 did a quick count. "All accounted for."

"42's crew, head up to the fourth floor and evacuate the western side," came Conlin's voice.

"19, head down to level two and evacuate beneath you," Sullivan ordered.

"Commencing external attack now," Lucas said.

They could hear the thud as the water hit the ward behind them.

"Let's go," Vic sighed, and they headed for the stairs, pulling their lines with them. She, Dean, Ben and Kat all came out in another corridor.

To their right was the acute psychiatric ward. Dean reached and tried it, but it was locked.

"Let us in!" he banged on the intercom. 

"What do we do?" asked Kat.

"Break it down?" Warren suggested.

Dean and Vic exchanged glances.

"If we break it down and the fire has spread to that floor then we risk spreading it that way," Vic pointed out, gesturing the other way, to the geriatric ward. "Hopefully, everyone outside can tell us if this wing's involved too."

"We should radio it in," Dean agreed. He pressed transmit. "Chief, it's Miller. The second floor western ward is the acute psychiatric unit. It's a locked ward. Permission to break down the door?"

"You've got lines?" Sullivan asked in return. "Looks like the fire might involve the westernmost part of the ward. We're spraying it down now."

"We have lines," replied Dean.

There was a few moments of silence.

"Okay, we're getting another crew in to evacuate the ward east of you," Lucas replied. "If you get fire in the hallway do not, I repeat, do not open the fire stairs - make your way east. I need to avoid this fire spreading down; below you is the intensive care unit, and they're not evacced yet. You have a go for breaking down the door - try to have it in one piece so you can wedge it back if you have to."

"ICU have the sickest patients," Ben said. "Why aren't they out?"

"They're the last to get evacuated," Vic said grimly. "Ambulatory patients out first. ICU patients take up the most resources - you move them out of the hospital last, but they're the first to get transferred from the evacuation grounds."

Dean's face was equally grim as he took his axe from his belt. "Hinges first, Noonan," he told her, raising his axe to swing.

"Wait!" came a shout, and the four firefighters glanced behind them to see a middle-aged, portly man running - or trying to run - towards them. "I'm Gavin. A nurse here. I can unlock it."

He came to a wheezing halt.

"We've gotten the low risk patients out," he said, resting his hands on his knees briefly. "My colleagues are making sure no one...wanders off. It's just the medium risk ones left, they're in the second ward beyond this one."

Dean, Vic and Ben exchanged worried glances.

"Please tell me it's not -" Ben began.

"The western-most ward?" Vic finished, resignedly.

Gavin frowned. "Yeah, why?"

"We need to get through now," Dean said forcefully. "It's on fire, they could be burning alive!"

Gavin paled, immediately reaching forward with his swipe card. The door beeped, and Dean pulled it open.

"Wait, when you say medium risk...?" Kat asked worriedly.

Gavin shot her a look. "To themselves," he said, protectively. "Seattle Pres keeps all the really high acuity mental health patients in a separate building. No one here is homicidal."

"Well _t_ _hat's_ great," said Kat faintly, as the firefighters and the nurse raced through the empty ward.

It was totally different to every other ward Vic had been in. Instead of large bed bays with multiple patients, small private rooms came off a large open common area, with abandoned colouring books and a games console that had obviously been left mid-game.

There was no smoke in the air, and Vic thumbed her radio. "A nurse just came back to let us in," she reported. "This first part of the acute psychiatric unit doesn't seem to have been affected by the fire, but we're coming up to another locked door to the medium acuity section which _is_ on that western side."

"Copy that, Hughes," Sullivan replied.

Vic could hear muffled banging. The team wordlessly picked up their pace, reaching the next door. A small window cut into a locked door looked into a narrow workspace, and on the other side was another locked door. Gavin let them into the workstation, and the noise of the banging increased three-fold. 

"They're trapped," he said, looking pale, and pushing past Dean. He opened the second door, and immediately a few people rushed through through, coughing.

"Noonan, Warren, keep count of how many come out," Vic ordered, before looking at Gavin. "How many patients in there?"

"We're full," he said. "So thirty."

"THIS WAY!" Dean hollered, smoke starting to fill up the workspace. "INTO THE STAFF DESK!"

"Open that door, Warren, get them into the next room," Vic ordered.

"It's okay, Maria," Gavin assured one lady, before patting the next man on the back. "You're okay, the firefighters are here to help."

Finally, the stream of people stopped.

"How many?" Dean asked.

"I got twenty-six," said Kat.

"I got twenty-seven," said Ben.

"Count again!" Vic barked. "Quickly, both of you."

A minute later, they both answered, "twenty-seven."

"Let's go," Vic said.

"You should stay here, with Gavin," Dean said. "You're not even supposed to be inside this building."

"Is that ward the same size as this one was?" Vic asked Gavin.

"More or less," he said.

Vic swung back to Dean. "We should split into pairs and sweep," she said firmly. "Least dangerous thing to do." He looked dubious.

"I can handle this," Gavin gestured to the patients who were milling in groups. A couple had broken away, making a beeline for the xbox. "My colleague was coming back."

"Get them across to the eastern side," Dean said to Vic after a moment. "Then down and out. We'll find the missing ones."

"The four of us will cover more ground," Vic argued. "We can sweep one side, you the other. If it's lots of individual rooms like this ward was, it'll take you too long to cover them all."

"Gavin, is the lay-out the same?" Dean asked, jaw working. 

Gavin nodded, and Dean sighed heavily.

"This is exactly what you're not supposed to do, isn't it?" Dean asked Vic quietly.

"There are three people in there," Vic replied firmly. "It's my job."

Dean shook his head. "Fine. But I'm not getting in trouble with your boyfriend over this."

"You won't," Vic assured him, before turning to Gavin who was watching puzzled. "Gavin, if you could take those patients across to the eastern side. Work out who's missing and ask a firefighter to radio us, okay?" The plump man nodded, wiping sweat off his brow. He reached into a nearby drawer, and pulled out a swipe card. 

"Here," he said. "It'll get you through any door. It's our spare." 

"Thanks," Dean said, hefting his axe. "Bit more subtle than this."

Gavin laughed nervously, and turned away. "Thanks. For coming."

"Thanks for opening the door," Ben replied. 

"All right," Dean said. "Let's go."

The four firefighters stepped into the medium acuity ward. It was filled with smoke like the surgical ward had been, but the automatic sprinklers hadn't started (or, Vic wondered, squinting at the ceiling - maybe there weren't any).

"We'll start left, you start right," Vic said. "Crosscheck after passing each other in the middle."

"Then call it," Dean agreed firmly. "Keep close together."

"Should we set up a safety line?" Ben suggested.

"Good idea," Vic said, and they quickly strapped themselves together - Kat and Vic, Ben and Dean - before splitting up.

* * *

 

"There's three patients still in the medium acuity psychiatric ward," Sullivan reported to Lucas. "They're doing a sweep."

"Tell them to be quick," Lucas said, watching the final windows cave in on the surgical floor. Despite the external water poured onto it, the fire was clearly in the fourth floor. The second floor - the one Vic was on, his mind reminded him treacherously - seemed less affected, but it was also harder to see because of all the spray from the hoses coming downwards off the third floor. The second floor would probably look okay externally; internally might be another matter.

He tore his gaze from the building as Captain Jones of 12 came over.

"Evacuation of the western sides of the sixth, fifth, and fourth floors complete," she reported. "Fortunately, the fourth floor staff had already started moving the patients towards the east end of the building, and most of them were ambulatory cancer patients. Level six is almost completely evacuated out of the building altogether; we're going to start bringing down level five's patients now."

"Good work," Lucas said. "Try to keep them together - make sure the staff are keeping a count."

"Dispatch, have I got more units and at least a battalion chief on their way?" Lucas radioed again.

"Yes sir, Battalion Chief O'Malley is on his way and Battalion Chief Chong should be there soon. We've got another four engines, two ladders, and we're mobilising as many private and public aid cars as we can," the radio crackled back.

"Great. Aid cars's top priority is to the northern end of the hospital, intersection of 5th and Mason. That's where the sickest patients will be," Lucas replied. Under his direction, Station 88 had just begun the process of assisting in transferring out the ICU patients. There were a few that were essentially going through an oxygen cylinder every three to five minutes; they needed to be in a hospital with wall oxygen again as soon as possible. "Are all surrounding hospitals on alert that this is happening?"

"Yes sir," dispatch replied.

"Chief," Lucas heard his name being shouted and turned to see Matty Chong hurrying up. 

He tried not to swear under his breath. Technically, under the conditions of their relationship, Lucas knew he probably should hand over the scene to Chong as Vic was still inside the building (and in the process of sweeping one of the most dangerous areas of the building).

But Chong, although he was a nice guy, was young. And newly promoted. Lucas could see in his face the younger man's trepidation.

"Chief," Chong repeated. "Where do you want me?"

Lucas weighed his options. Patrick O'Malley wouldn't be far, and he was a much more experienced and appropriate person to hand such a complex, large scene over to.

"Coordinate the evacuations out via aid cars," Lucas decided. He quickly outlined the system he'd arranged for where the evacuees were to be arranged in the road, and explained that the aid cars were coming first for the ICU patients. 

"Sir," Chong looked relieved, and jogged off towards the assembly point.

Sullivan gave him a look. Lucas glared back at him.

"O'Malley's on his way," he snapped at the captain. 

"We found two," he heard Dean's voice crackle from Sullivan's radio. "We're going to take them out to the low acuity ward."

"Don't split up," Sullivan ordered. "Stay with your two in the low acuity ward - they may get lost in the hospital if there's no staff member to guide them. Wait for Hughes and Noonan to exit."

"Okay," Dean said. "We put out a couple of little spot fires, but the whole place is smoldering."

"Hughes, if you don't find him in the next few minutes, get out of there," Sullivan ordered, to Lucas' relief and gratitude.

The whole western aspect of the building was now starting to burn. The engines and ladders they had were trying, but the flames seemed to be jumping, the reasonably windy day making conditions worse.

"Media's here," reported Tanner, his blue police uniform standing out in a sea of turnouts. "They're desperate for news."

"Tell them to fuck off," Lucas privately agreed with the newly appointed Captain Houssein of 44. 

"We'll provide a statement in time -" he started to say, but was interrupted by Sullivan's radio.

"Oh my god he's got a knife!" he heard Noonan squeal and Lucas' heart dropped like a stone.

"We're coming in!" Dean's voice crackled immediately.

"No," the sound of Vic's voice made Lucas more relieved than he'd ever been before. "No, it's okay. Hey, my name is Vic, what's your name?"

The reply was too indistinct.

"That's Kat, she's not going to hurt you, can you put the knife down away from her throat?" said Vic.

"Tanner, we might need negotiators," Lucas said slowly, a mixture of relief that it wasn't _Vic_ with a knife to her throat, and dread.

The last thing they needed was a hostage situation inside a ward on fire. He glanced back to the building to see crews frantically trying to redirect the water flow up. The fire had spread to engulf the entire western aspect of the structure...and the ward Vic and Noonan were in was right under four burning wards, all of which were at risk of imminent collapse.

"No! You're trying to kill me!" an unfamiliar and indistinct voice said through the radio. Clearly- either Vic or Noonan were holding down the transmit button on their radio. From the loud choked sob, Lucas suspected it was Noonan.

"We need negotiators, Tanner, get them here now," Lucas ordered, and the younger man immediately clicked on his radio. "And someone find out who that is. Find a psychiatric nurse who knows him!"

"Do you want a RIT?" radioed Captain Conlin, whose team Lucas had been forced to withdraw from level four several minutes earlier due to the fire in that section being difficult to control.

"I know it's really hard to see in here," Vic's voice came over the radio, now transmitting through a general channel, and Lucas inwardly praised her cleverness. She was right in stopping herself from being restricted to 19's channel - right now, for better or worse, he was the incident commander and he needed to know what was going down. "I know you feel safe against the wall," Vic continued, and Lucas cursed under his breath. No chance of a couple of big firefighters getting the jump on this guy then.

"Visibility is poor," Lucas interpreted. "Can you take your team down - get a pair to take out Warren and Miller's two patients. But the last thing that situation needs is your team wandering in poor visibility, potentially getting lost, or potentially stumbling into a knife fight."

"This creaking you hear, I know it's scary," Vic sounded preternaturally calm, somehow. "I'm scared too. There's fire here, and I don't know if this room is stable. Walk out with us, we'll help you."

"No!" the reply was clearly shouted. "It's not safe!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you bet I'm gonna burn Seattle Pres to the fucking ground


	31. Smoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay - I had to go away for the weekend and didn't have the time to finish and post this! Good news is that the rest of the story bar one chapter is written, so all they need is a bit of a polish and a publish :) hope this chapter is worth it after the wait.

The smoke was thick. Even though Vic was barely a metre or two from Kat, she could barely see the patient that was holding a knife to her throat. He'd backed up against the wall, meaning no-one could get behind him (even if such a risky ploy  _had_ been a good idea). 

Vic and Kat were still connected by a safety line, for which Vic was grateful. It meant she couldn't lose Kat.

The heat was unbearable, and idly Vic wondered how their patient was still standing between the heat and the smoke - and what she assumed was a lack of oxygen.

"We're not trying to hurt you. I'm Vic, and that's Kat, and we're firefighters," she repeated. "What's your name?"

The young man - for he did look young and gangly - remained silent.

"Look it's really hot in here. How about we just walk into the next ward?" Vic suggested, keeping her radio thumbed on. "Bit cooler there and a lot less smoke."

Just because the guy wasn't speaking didn't mean it was silent. The building was clearly becoming unsound, with creaking, the crackle of fire, and distant hiss of the water as it hit the ward above.

"What do you think is happening right now?" she tried.

"They told me it would burn," he said.

"Who did?" Vic asked. He clenched his jaw shut again. "Well, whoever they are, do you think they'd want you to stay in the ward? With the smoke and fire? Or move into the next one?"

She didn't know much about paranoid delusions, but it was clear the man was terrified. His hand was shaking so badly Vic was a little worried he'd accidentally cut Kat with the knife.

He appeared to think about her questions for a moment. "They'd want me to stay here," he realised out loud.

"I'm not on their side; we're trying to help you," Vic said. "Let's go into the next ward. All together."

He hesitated.

* * *

It wasn't exactly a panic attack - after all, if there was ever a good reason to feel panicked it was when the person you loved most in the world was being held hostage inside a building that was on fire and at risk of imminent collapse. But, even though it was exactly the kind of emotion Lucas  _should_ have been feeling, it was the last thing he could afford to have right now.

So he drew on years of therapy, and breathed it away, pushing the unhelpful emotions down and focussing on the here and now.

 _Vic is a well trained, intelligent firefighter_ , he told himself.  _She will manage. Right now, there's nothing you can do._

He made a list of things to do:

(1) Negotiators/psychiatric nurse

(2) Identify the areas of the building that needed water the most

(3) Identify areas of potential collapse and ensure they're evacuated

(4) Intensive care and patients that were in theatre out to other hospitals

(5) Ensure all fire doors between west and east sides of building are shut

(6) Get someone to deal with the media scrum he could see trying to break past the police barrier.

He breathed out.

"Radio Chong," he ordered Sullivan. "Miller said that the psychiatric patients were evacuating under a nurse called Gavin. He might know who's missing. Get Chong to find out if he does, and then radio any information about him here."

Tanner jogged up. "Negotiators on their way, sir."

"Good. Jones, how are the evacuations going?" he radioed 12's captain.

"Everyone's across to the east side," she reported. "All ambulatory patients from levels 3 and up have evacuated using the eastern-most stairs. Level two ambulatory patients are evacuating now, then we're going to start on the non-ambulatory."

"Copy," Lucas said. "A psychiatric nurse named Gavin may know the name of the patient who's got two firefighters held hostage in the medium acuity unit. Spread the word to find him and find out about this patient. Make sure all fire doors are shut - we want as much of a barricade between the western and eastern sides of the building as possible"

"Copy that, sir."

"What was the status of the upper floors?"

"Only level four's fire seems to have extended," she reported. "Bit of smoke in five and six, but nothing too bad."

"Copy," Lucas switched to the external crews' channel. "Focus water on level four," he ordered. "Ladder 23, I want you to drown a about halfway along the building - I need that fire contained as much as possible."

"Yes sir!"

A proper structural assessment at present was out of the question, but there was no cleverness in knowing that the entire western part of the building was at risk of collapse - probably level four or three would go first. Lucas could only hope that level two would continue to hold. 

"We're moving out of the medium acuity unit," Vic's voice blared through the radio, and Lucas felt a dizzying wave of relief wash over him. "Knife still ready, we're going slow."

"Chief Ripley," he'd never been so damn happy to see Patrick O'Malley in his life. He suspected that away from the smoke and imminent fire, there was decent odds the patient would stall again. (And while there was a knife, there wasn't a lot they could do right now).

"O'Malley," he greeted. "I need to hand over the scene to you."

The older man looked taken aback. "There's firefighters being held hostage -"

"Station 19's Noonan and Hughes," Lucas interrupted, aware dispatch wouldn't have released names. "Under condition 3.4 of our relationship agreement the next most senior officer is to take command."

O'Malley nodded slowly, and Lucas briefly summarised the scene.

"As soon as level two's properly cleared, we can arrange for the external crews to make sure we have a multi-level attack, but right now, it's too dangerous for the crews in there. The next step," he took a deep breath. "Is to evacuate 42 and 19."

"Hughes and Noonan can't evacuate," Conlin said in surprise.

"I'm aware," Lucas said through gritted teeth.

"He knows," O'Malley said simultaneously.

"They'll be out any second and it'll be moot -"

The radio crackled. "You tricked me!" an angry male voice shouted.

"No, these are our friends," Vic's voice was distant, so it was obviously Noonan's radio they were listening to. "They're not going to hurt you either. See, they're going to turn and walk away."

"Vic -" another male voice began.

"They're going to leave now," Vic repeated firmly.

"Do it," Lucas said, at the same time as O'Malley. He met the Battalion Chief's eyes. "I'll handle the press." 

He needed to get out of there.

* * *

Their guy stopped in the doorway of the staff station between the medium and low acuity wards. In the better light, it was clear he was a young man; gangly and pimply, doing his best to cover his obvious fear.

"You tricked me!" he shouted, staring right at Dean and Ben and some firefighters from 42.

"No, these are our friends," she promised. "They're not going to hurt you either. See, they're going to turn and walk away."

"Vic -" Dean began.

"They're going to leave now," Vic repeated firmly.

"Do it," Lucas and someone else ordered over the radio, and Vic risked a glance over her shoulder to see the other firefighters reluctantly turning and leaving.

"See, they're firefighters too," Vic explained. "They're leaving. There's nobody here because we're helping everyone leave."

The bad thing about the better light was that she could now also see Kat's face, pale with fear.

"I still don't know your name," Vic said. "Like I said, I'm Vic, and that's my friend Kat."

"Evan," the boy said after a moment.

"Evan, hi!" Vic said as brightly as she could, pretending that the building wasn't on fire and he didn't have a knife to her rookie's throat. "Nice to meet you."

"I'm not going," he said, glancing back to the darkened, smoke filled ward, and coughing. "It's safe there."

"That cough's pretty bad," Vic said. "It's from the smoke in there, Evan. It's not safe there right now."

It's not like they covered how to manage a hostage situation in the academy. Vic wasn't sure whether to try to work on getting him to put down the knife, or on getting him to walk with them down the corridor. The further east they travelled though, the more people they'd come across, and Vic didn't want him getting more upset and doing something stupid. She didn't really think he'd deliberately hurt Kat but...

"Nobody's here because we helped everyone get out," she said again. "Maybe you could put the knife down. We can all then go."

"It won't be safe," he repeated, trembling.

"We'll look after you," Vic promised. "Just put the knife down and let Kat go, and we'll help you out of here."

* * *

 

Lucas only had time to take a quick breath in as he ducked under the cordon, immediately presented with dozens of flashing cameras and a bunch of microphones shoved in his face.

"Chief Ripley!" they all screamed.

"Okay, settle down," he said in his sternest voice, and happily, the din quietened a little. "Approximately an hour ago, crews were alerted to a fire at Seattle Presbyterian. We were on the scene within five minutes, at which time it was evident that the surgical ward on level three was on fire. Crews immediately commenced an interior attack, and with the next set of crews that arrived we commenced evacuation of the western side of the building as well as a combined interior and exterior attack. Unfortunately, the fire has continued to spread across floors. Fortunately, we've contained it to the western side of the building, and evacuations are well underway."

"Chief! How many patients are dead?"

He sighed. "We are still finalising the count. Firefighters who were working to control the fire in the surgical ward indicated that a number of patients there were already deceased when they arrived, probably from smoke inhalation, but we do not have numbers or identities yet. Our focus right now is on evacuating everyone as safely and quickly as possible."

"There are still patients inside?" a question was screamed at him.

"As of right now, only one patient remains in the western side of the building," Lucas replied carefully. "Firefighters are working to rescue that individual now. There are still patients in the eastern side of levels two to four, however those evacuations are ongoing. In accordance with protocol, all ambulatory patients were evacuated first - most of the remaining patients are non-ambulatory, meaning that this phase of the evacuation  _will_ take longer. We ask for everyone to be patient, and if you have loved ones inside the building, please do not come down here and add to the chaos. As patients are transferred to other facilities, we will notify their next of kin."

"Chief!" he recognised the voice but couldn't place it. "Radio chatter indicates you've asked for police negotiators. Why do you need police negotiators at a fire scene?"

Lucas' mouth went dry, and he licked his lips, trying to formulate a reply.

"Are there firefighters being held hostage?" another reporter demanded.

"At present," Lucas said, as calmly as possible. "We are trying to persuade a patient to evacuate. Understandably, this is a high stress situation, and sometimes people - particularly if they are unwell - panic. We've asked our police colleagues to help because they do a lot of negotiating -"

"The police radio report said that two firefighters were being held hostage with a knife," said the familiar voice again.

This time Lucas recognised it.  _Shit_ , he cursed inwardly. It was Noonan's father. Arthur?

"I am not going to discuss the details of -"

"My daughter is a firefighter," said Noonan, confirming it. "Is she trapped in there?"

He should lie. Noonan picked up on his hesitation, however.

"So she is? When were you going to tell me!?" the other man sounds slightly hysterical, and the media pack have gone silent.

"This situation is evolving," Lucas said evenly. "It's only occurred in the last five minutes. At the moment our focus is on -"

"What the hell are you -"

"Our focus is on getting them all out safely," Lucas raised his voice, speaking over the other man unapologetically.

"Why are you asking for negotiators instead of sending police in?!" Noonan spat.

"First," Lucas said defensively. "That area of the building is unstable. It's unsafe -"

"It's UNSAFE FOR MY DAUGHTER TOO YOU ASSHOLE!" Noonan shouted.

"Our job is not to throw good lives away for nothing," Lucas snapped back. Noonan recoiled back.

"So you're giving up?" he said. 

"We're doing everything we can -"

"Except sending in people who can fix the problem!"

"What, by shooting a scared patient?" Lucas' temper was fraying. "Sending in police officers would not only be unsafe for the police officers involved, but makes an already precarious situation in there worse. The last thing we want to do is upset this guy. Right now, we're trying everything we can to persuade him out of the side of the building that is both on fire and at risk of imminent collapse - then we can work on the knife."

"If it was  _your_ girlfriend in there you'd be singing a different tune, and sending people in to rescue her," Arthur Noonan accused. "You just don't care about anyone -"

"I care about every single one of my people," Lucas said tightly. 

"If that were true you'd be in there, getting my daughter out, not here talking to us -" Arthur said.

"I'm here talking to you lot because my fiancee was partnered with your daughter today," Lucas snapped. "My priority as the Chief of the SFD is to make sure that we do not risk lives unnecessarily, and to make sure that the incident commander will make decisions impartially."

At that revelation - that he was not the incident commander - the press exploded.

* * *

 Pat looked over to Jones, who Chong had sent with an overweight, puffing man.

"This is Gavin," Jones said. "He's an RN in the psychiatric unit."

"The man's just told Hughes that his name is Evan?" Pat said.

"Evan Langley," Gavin nodded, wheezing still. 

"What can you tell us about him?"

"He's 19, this is his first adult admission for psychosis -" Gavin paused suddenly. "Hang on, HIPAA -"

"Right now two of my firefighters are in a burning building which could collapse at any time with this Evan holding a knife to their throat!" Pat informed the younger man.

Gavin paled. "Right. Um. It's his first adult admission. He has schizophrenia and thinks the government is out to get him. He hears messages from the TV and radios about how they're hunting him."

Pat groaned. "No wonder he responded so badly to us trying to radio him earlier."

"How can we pass this information to Hughes  _without_ radioing her?" Sullivan wondered out loud.

"The other thing is, Hughes doesn't need to stay there," Pat said quietly, his stomach and heart sinking. He'd say it about anyone else, he rationalised. And Pat knew he would because he had done so. The fact that her fiance, a man Pat respected (although he tried to not let Lucas know that), had stumbled away to deal with the press as pale as a sheet had nothing to do with it.

Sullivan sighed. "Kat's just a rookie."

"Why lose two when we could just lose one," Pat whispered. He hesitated, before lifting the radio to his lips. "Hughes, RN Gavin's told us your young man is Evan Langley. It's dangerous for you all to stay there; the fire has spread to extend to the entire western part of the building and we're now focussing on containing it there."

"Copy that, sir," Hughes replied.

The crackle of static was their clue that one of them had left their line open.

"It's getting more dangerous in here, Evan," Hughes tried. 

"I ..."

Anything he might have said was truncated by a loud creak, and Pat watched as the fifth floor of the building started to collapse from the western-most corner.

Time was up.

"Hughes, get out of there now, the building is collapsing," Pat radioed.

"Vic, go, we don't both need to die," Noonan sobbed over the radio.

"Evan, you hear that? That's the building collapsing. I know you're scared, and so are we, but we need to get out of here now! You can keep the knife, just, just walk this way with me. Just one foot in front of the other and we'll help you get out," Hughes said urgently.

There was a pause, and then the radio crackled again.

"That's it, one step. And another," Hughes sounded glad. "Okay, we'll keep walking this way. Away from the fire."

"Use the closest fire escape stairs, Hughes," Pat said. They didn't want fire spreading down from that second floor, but given the damage to the whole western side of the building, Pat figured preventing damage to the first floor was a lost cause.

It felt like it took forever. Hughes stopped broadcasting, and while Pat figured hearing her coax the kid step by step out of the building might have gotten tiresome, the radio silence worsened the worry.

"Arthur Noonan's in the press group," Pat looked up to see a pale-faced Lucas Ripley stepping back towards the command car. "He's Kat Noonan's father, a journalist, and has obviously been listening to the police radio. I've gotten him to step aside and wait separately while this situation continues."

He had to hand it to the Chief. Lucas was holding himself together well, even if the effort could be seen in hands that shook and fidgeted.

"Your Hughes has talked him into coming down," Pat offered. "Knife's still in his hand, but they're moving out."

Ripley's shoulders relaxed infinitesimally. "That's good," he said more to himself. "I'll wait till they're out before updating Noonan."

"Good call, sir," Pat said.

"I'm just going to ... go ... over there," Ripley said, pointing away from incident command. Pat appreciated it, giving the younger man a nod and watching as he lurched away from the command site towards a nearby aid car, immediately pitching in and helping the two firefighters dispense water and oxygen to the steady rotation of firefighters away from their engines and ladders.

"-see police! You lied!" the radio screeched.

"The building's on fire," Hughes replied calmly. "They're helping us help patients out. Can you see all the other firefighters?"

All of a sudden, Pat felt his radio being snatched away from him. "Evan?" Gavin said. "It's Gavin. Listen to the firefighters. You'll be safe if you listen to them."

"Gavin?"

"It's okay," the nurse replied. "They're friends. Can you put the knife down for us?"

"The police are pointing their guns at me," came a scared reply.

Pat glanced over and cursed. "Sullivan, give this man your radio. I'm going to get them to stand down."

"I'll ask them to put their guns down," Vic replied. 

"Guns down!" Pat barked, hurrying to the police officers standing with their guns drawn and trained on the glass doors of the hospital. "She's talking him down!"

"Look, they'll put their guns down first then you put down your knife, okay?" Vic said encouragingly.

"But -" a sergeant Pat didn't know began to object.

"You don't have a shot," Pat pointed out. "The two firefighters are in front of him - he's holding one in front of him. For god's sake, let's just get them out of the building and have his usual nurse talk to him."

The police hesitated.

"DO IT!" Pat roared.

The police reluctantly lowered their guns.

"See, they're putting their guns down, Evan," Vic said. "Can you drop the knife for me now? Please?"

"Please, Evan, just do as she says," Gavin said encouragingly. "I'll meet you at the front, we can go to a safe place."

"Promise?"

"Promise," Gavin said, and with a bravery Pat had to admire, the fat nurse hurried over and stood by the glass doors of the hospital. He waved awkwardly. 

"Thank you, Evan," Hughes said. "I've got the knife. We're going to come out - me in front, Evan behind me, then Kat behind him. I have the knife."

"Copy, Hughes," Pat said. A few minutes passed, and then the odd little procession exited the building, Hughes holding the knife up and out in front of her. Gavin raced forward - heedless of the police officers with their weapons readied, to Evan's side.

"Well done," he could hear the nurse assuring the patient. "You did the right thing."

"Well done," Pat echoed Gavin's words, directing them more to Hughes than to Noonan. "Solid work."

Hughes' eyes were scanning over his shoulder. "Thank you, sir," she said, almost absently. Her eyes caught something, and Pat didn't need to glance behind him to see that it was Ripley she was looking at. The young woman nodded at her fiance, relief clear across his face.

"Sullivan, get these two checked out," Pat ordered. "Then I'll need what's left of your crew to help evacuate."

"Sir," Sullivan said, patting Noonan on the back. He heard the captain telling the rookie that her father was here as he walked away.

"Thanks, Patrick," the Chief's voice was quivering with compressed emotion.

Pat simply patted the younger man on the shoulder. "Not at all," he said, hoping his voice didn't betray his own relief. He was about to suggest that the Chief take a few minutes when there was a horrendous creaking again, and more of the western side of the building collapsed.

Fire was licking down the building. He glanced at the Chief.

"You coordinate this side, I'll coordinate C side?" Pat suggested wearily.

"Surround and drown," Ripley nodded sharply.  

* * *

Kat smiled weakly at Dean's joke, and speared another forkful of lasagne. 

The adrenaline had lasted through an afternoon of helping triage people for transfer to different facilities. Some had simply opted to go home from the road, and Kat couldn't blame them. Seattle's hospitals would struggle absorbing those six-hundred odd patients - the more that could go home the better. Sullivan had offered for her and Vic to take the rest of the shift off, but Vic had kept working.

Kat had felt awkward about taking the rest of the shift off when her partner hadn't, and so she'd sat and had a quick cup of coffee her Dad had brought her before joining back with 19 and helping evacuate. Dad had been surprisingly quiet.

But now the adrenaline had well and truly worn off and Kat just felt tired, hungry and drained.

Having the TV on in the background didn't help; as it was just rerunning Chief Ripley's carcrash of a press conference (thanks to her dad) on a seemingly endless loop.

They'd been stood down after about eight hours at the scene, a bit shorter than a lot of the other crews. Kat had felt a little embarrassed about it, but Dean had simply clapped her on the back and told her not to worry, that they were enjoying the respite and she should too. They'd all pitched in for dinner - tired but wanting a proper meal, and while lasagna was a lot of work it was a lot  _less_ work with lots of hands.

While they'd made dinner, the news had been on repeat, and Kat had watched her father verbally assault her boss. Vic had watched with a fixed expression on her face, as her dad had shouted at a quiet and pale Chief, before the Chief had finally snapped.

Kat had apologised, but Vic had brushed it off with a simple and curt, "it's fine." She'd obviously seen the grimace Kat hadn't been quick enough to hide. "Seriously. This coverage of us is actually pretty positive."

"Makes a nice change, hey?" Travis had teased.

The room suddenly went quiet, and Kat looked up to see Ripley, in his uniform, looking as 'Chiefly' as ever despite the soot all over his uniform and through his hair. His face might well have been carved out of granite for all the expression it showed.

"Hughes?" he barked, tilting his head slightly, but Vic had already pushed out her chair and stood up. He directed his gaze towards Kat. "All right, Noonan?" his tone was clipped.

Kat had only met Ripley a couple of times, but on both those occasions he'd seemed nice and relaxed.

He was  _not_ nice and relaxed now.

"Yes sir," she said in a subdued voice. "Um, sir, I just wanted to apologise for my father's behaviour during -"

"Don't," Ripley interrupted brusquely. "You aren't responsible for your father."

Kat wasn't sure what to say in response to that, but it didn't seem the Chief was waiting for a reply as his gaze redirected to Vic, who was busy piling a second serve of lasagna and salad onto a clean plate.

"You eaten since breakfast?" Vic asked.

He looked momentarily confused, then slowly shook his head. Vic grabbed another set of cutlery, determinedly ignoring the eyes on her, and the two of them walked down the hallway.

Kat looked around the table to see that she wasn't the only one looking a little ... not nervous, exactly, but ... well, it felt a bit like waiting to hear your parents have a fight.

"He didn't seem happy," she ventured cautiously.

"Vic did go into the ward when she wasn't supposed to," Dean said.

"He's not going to get mad about that," Travis objected.

"It's a condition," Andy sided with Dean.

Kat was confused, and that obviously showed on her face.

"They're not supposed to be at a scene together," Travis explained. "If they are...Vic's not supposed to be actively in a scene - she's supposed to be on safe aid car duty."

"She should've evacuated at the first opportunity, which was really probably the point where we'd evacuated most of the medium acuity patients," Dean added.

"But that would've left just you two," Andy objected. "She did the right call procedurally." She made a face. "Don't know whether that outweighs the conditions though."

"Is that why we fed everything through Sullivan?" Kat asked.

"Yes," Ben said. "That's why he handed over to - what was his name, O'Malley? Anyway, I'm with Travis. He didn't seem  _mad_ , exactly."

"He wasn't happy either, though," Dean said darkly, worry colouring his tone as he glanced down the hallway.

* * *

 

Lucas fell into step silently with her, and she headed to her bunkroom. The walk seemed to stretch out. Lucas was difficult to read when in Chief mode and Vic wondered whether he was here because they were in trouble. After all, she probably shouldn't have gone into the ward after the patients; she should have helped Gavin evacuate the others and get herself out of that dangerous situation. He wordlessly opened the door for her, and she walked in and set their plates on the bed.

She turned, opening her mouth to say something - exactly what she wasn't sure - and saw Lucas' shoulders drop and his face crumple.

"Victoria," he breathed with an intensity to his tone, hands landing on either side of her head, then both her shoulders, then her arms, then her waist. His blue eyes scanned her from head to toe. " _Vic_. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Scruffy," she said softly.

Lucas let out a sob, and pulled her towards him into a firm embrace, dropping his head to rest his face in her neck, and she felt his tears run down her neck. Vic wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, squeezing him gently.

"I'm okay," she whispered.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter and the one before it were the rewritten ones - initially the coffee house fire was going to go here, but after 215/216 I couldn't do it. So the bits of the original chapter were transformed into _Think But This And All Is Mended_


	32. House of Cards

He needed to feel every inch of her against him, so Lucas simply pulled her closer as she repeated that she was okay.

He wasn't sure how long they stood there like that, but it felt like both forever and not enough time as he pulled back slightly to rest his forehead against hers.

"I know what it's like to live without you," he said, trying to find the words to express how he felt. "I don't want to imagine a life after you. I don't ... I just ... I need you. You make every aspect of my life better." It was stupid and foolish and ridiculous that in eight short months she'd transformed his life so completely and irrevocably. 

"I love you," she said, brushing his tears away. "I'm okay, and I'm here for the long haul."

There wasn't a lot he could say in response to that so he just kissed her, pouring every emotion he could into the kiss. His back hit the set of shelves in her room as she kissed him fiercely back.

When his lungs were burning, he pulled back, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He wanted her so much but this wasn't the time or the place. So he let himself briefly kiss her lips again, then her nose, then her forehead, before wrapping her into a second tight hug for a few more long minutes.

"I love you too," he said. His stomach growled, and they disentangled with a laugh. 

"Here," she said, handing a plate of lasagna to him. The rich smell wafted up his nose and he realised he was  _starving._ Breakfast had, after all, been over twelve hours ago.

He followed her lead, and sat on the floor facing her. Her back was resting against the bed, and his against her shelves. He shuffled over so their legs were touching, and then she shuffled so their legs were pressed together.

"O'Malley was impressed with you," he said when he'd eaten half his lasagna. "Said you did an amazing job of talking down that man. O'Malley's  _never_  impressed with  _anyone_. He still thinks I'm a little punk, but you he likes."

Vic flushed a little with pleasure, the cute little vein in her forehead standing out. "He was just scared," she said. "I don't think he really wanted to hurt anyone."

Lucas could only beam at her proudly. "You're so wonderful," he said, meaning it. Her compassion and her fire and her determination was just the sexiest thing in the world.

"I know," she said with a grin, shrugging. He laughed.

"I went into the ward," Vic said after a moment, her smile fading. "I know I shouldn't have -"

"I didn't hand over to Chong," Lucas interrupted. "You did the right thing in continuing to do your job. I think I did the right thing in waiting for O'Malley. Don't get me wrong, Chong's a good guy, but he's kinda ... green."

"I didn't know that," Vic said, huffing slightly in amusement. "So we both kinda didn't follow the conditions."

He arched an eyebrow at her. "Hardly the first rule we've broken," he said dryly, and she blushed. "I think we did our jobs appropriately. Chong was grateful I didn't hand over to him, O'Malley grunted something along the lines of it being a good handover - which from him is high praise - so we're fine."

Vic visibly relaxed.

"I just want to be married to you," Lucas blurted, unable to keep it in. "I just...I was so scared you would die and I...I would never get the chance to be your husband."

Vic dropped her fork onto her plate, reaching her hand out to his calf and squeezing his leg gently.

"I was thinking while I was in there that I don't want to die having never married you," she replied with a hopeful grin.

"We haven't talked about it. I want you to have whatever wedding you want," he said quietly.

"I just want you to be my husband. I want you to be..." she trailed off, making a frustrated gesture. "Hubby. I  _want_ that."

"I want you to be my wife, Eggy."

"What do you want for a wedding?" Vic asked quietly.

"Look, I've been married before," Lucas shrugged. "It's not that I don't care it's just...the wedding is the start. The important bit is the marriage that comes after it. And for our marriage, all we need is you and me. So when it comes to getting married, from my perspective, the only thing that's needed is that you're there."

"We could elope," she suggested.

"Is that what you want though?" he pressed.

"You and me. That's all we need," she replied, before sighing. "Although, Travis will kill you and Jennifer will kill me if we elope."

He waited, shooting a glance at her meaningfully.

She held his gaze. "Jennifer's down this weekend," she remarked, casually.

"Yes," he said neutrally.

"We could pick up a marriage license Wednesday and be able to get married on Saturday," she said.

"I know a guy who could marry us," Lucas said. "Donovan McLeod is a judge. I go to his poker game sometimes."

"Call him," Vic ordered.

"We can have a second, proper wedding later -"

"This is a proper wedding," Vic insisted. "Call him."

Lucas dutifully picked up his phone and dialled Donovan.

"Hey, Don, it's Lucas," he said. "Got a second? Wondering if you would do me a huge favour."

"Probably, although it depends on what it is..." Don replied.

"Any chance you could marry me and Victoria this weekend?" Lucas asked.

There was a short chuckle from the other end of the line. "Saturday morning I've got Kevin's baseball game, but I'm free that afternoon for something like that. Or Sunday after church?"

"He can do either Saturday afternoon or Sunday afternoon - you're working Sunday though," Lucas said to Vic.

"Saturday afternoon?" she said, grinning at him.

"Saturday afternoon?" Lucas repeated into the phone.

"Easy. Where would you like me to marry you?" 

"Um," Lucas stalled. "We haven't worked out all the details yet."

"What brought this on, Luke?" asked Don.

"She nearly died today," he shrugged.

"I didn't nearly die, I just could've died," Vic argued, loudly enough that Don obviously heard because he laughed. Lucas took the phone from his ear and switched to speaker.

"Okay, well, let me know where you want me to marry you. I'll set three-thirty to five aside. I'm assuming you're not wanting a really long ceremony or something?"

"Hi, I'm Victoria. No. We just want to be married, so just a simple ceremony," Vic said, leaning forward.

"Look forward to meeting you," Don said. "Let me know what you decide. You'll organise the licence and witnesses and venue?"

"Yes, and I'll get you a nice bottle of scotch in thanks," Lucas promised.

"Sounds like a deal," Don said cheerfully. "See you then."

"Thanks, Don," Lucas said.

"We really appreciate it," Vic added.

"You're welcome. Talk to you later," Don said, before Lucas hung up.

* * *

The door to Hughes' bunkroom was cracked open, light trickling around it. Robert could hear a familiar male voice, and he groaned.

Luke was  _not_  supposed to be here. And was most certainly not supposed to be in Hughes' bunkroom. He rapped sharply on the doorframe, wanting to make sure they were clothed.

"Come in," Hughes answered immediately to his relief, and Robert swung the door open.

The two of them were sitting opposite each other, empty plates on the floor next to them, legs pressed up against each other.

"Hope I'm not interrupting," Robert said pointedly.

"No," Luke said, almost dreamily. "We're just talking about getting married."

Vic beamed at him, patting his calf.

"Oh god," Robert knew that look from Lucas, and he was starting to learn Hughes had the same look. Concerningly, she was wearing it now. "What are you two doing?!"

"Don McLeod's gonna marry us on Saturday afternoon," Luke replied. 

"We just need to work out where," Vic said, frowning. "Can you get married anywhere?"

"Yep, just need the officiant and two witnesses," Lucas said. 

"My apartment's too small," Vic said.

"We could use the park around the corner," he suggested. "Get one of the picnic tables early?"

"If it rains, use your house?" Vic agreed. She looked up to Robert, who felt a bit stunned into silence. "You can come if you're free. Three thirty?"

"Thanks?" Robert said, awkwardly. "Um. I'm not doing anything."

"Great. I know Jennifer will be pleased to see you again," Lucas replied. "Be nice to have you there too." He looked to Vic. "I'll ring the diner."

"Let Cam know," she nodded. "And then my team. You should probably let Cindy and Frankel know, given you're gonna be her best man."

Lucas sighed melodramatically. "And this is how weddings snowball."

"We're still eloping, baby, we're just telling people when and where if they want to come," Vic said.

"That's not eloping," Lucas pointed out dryly.

"You're not supposed to be here, Luke," Robert said tiredly. "And I don't want to interrupt your wedding planning too much, but we need to do a team debrief."

Ripley shrugged. "I needed to see her," he said unapologetically. "But I'll go. We can sort this out tomorrow night, honey."

Hughes shot Robert a baleful look that he ignored, but accepted Lucas' hand as he pulled her to her feet.

"Love you," she said, kissing him sweetly.

"Love you," he replied cheerfully. "Stay safe."

"Planning on it," she assured him. They kissed again, quickly, before they stepped apart. Lucas nodded to him as he strode past.

Robert and Hughes started walking down the corridor. He opened his mouth, but was stopped by a glare.

"Patronise me by asking me if I'm sure," she said fiercely. "And you're uninvited."

He closed his mouth as they entered the Beanery.

"Everything okay, Vic?" Andy asked in concern. Hughes looked at her in confusion.

"Chief Ripley seemed pretty angry," Noonan offered.

Hughes rolled her eyes. "No, he was just still in work mode," she said dismissively, sitting back down after putting hers and Luke's plates in the dishwasher. "We're half eloping. Getting married at three thirty this Saturday in the park around the corner from mine."

"Half-eloping?" Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

"Well, we are getting married then, so it's kind of eloping because we haven't planned a big ceremony or anything," Vic explained. "But only half-eloping, because I'm telling you I'm getting married if any of you are free and want to come to support _us_." Her tone brooked no argument.

Travis sighed heavily. "You know what this means?" he said, sounding tired. "I only have five days to organise a hen's night!"

* * *

It was a sunny morning, and Vic was only slightly hungover from the hen do that Travis had rapidly organised. (It ended up being pretty much her entire station - male and female - who had been there while Lucas had his own version of a bachelor's party by having dinner with his sister and her kids, and Sullivan).

She and Lucas and Jennifer spent the morning making "picnic-y things" as Jennifer termed them. Lucas' sister was, as it turned out, a formidable cook. With her and Lucas on chopping duty, and her kids on taste-testing duty, they soon had a large array of delicious looking afternoon tea treats - mini quiches, cupcakes, a salad, some little sandwiches...

All in all, their hastily thrown together wedding was looking a little more professional than Vic had expected.

She kissed Lucas goodbye at two-thirty, promising to meet him in the park to get married as she hurried back to her place. (She'd come to Lucas' after the hen do - after all, he was there because her apartment didn't have spare rooms for Jennifer and the kids). But she'd forgotten her dress.

It was hanging right where she left it, in the back of the cupboard. Vic figured she probably could have bought a dress that was more bridesy, but she'd bought this flowery dress new for Lucas the day after their relationship had been approved.

It was the dress she'd worn when he'd fucked her in his office, and she knew it would drive him mad if she wore it to their wedding. Plus, it was a pretty dress, and she actually really liked it.

"You look beautiful!" Travis exclaimed when he came to pick her up, grinning at her. "God, Ripley's just going to  _die_  when he sees you." 

Vic grinned. "That was kind of the plan," she said, spinning around so he could appreciate the skirt on the dress. "Here, this is Lucas' ring." She handed him the small box, and he tucked it carefully into the breast pocket of his dress uniform.

(They had decided the dress code was no dress code. Callum - Lucas' nephew - had cheered at the news and so was happily wearing jeans and a band t-shirt. Maddie, his niece, had bullied Jennifer into taking her shopping as soon as she heard she was going to a wedding, and so she was wearing a beautiful brand new dress. It was going to be an interesting spread of clothing choices, Vic suspected. She definitely needed Callum and Travis to stand next to each other in a photo).

Travis drove her to the park. She was easily able to see their group; a motley clothed crew clustered around a couple of picnic tables.

"It's a beautiful day," Travis sighed happily, brushing at his eyes.

"Are you  _crying_? Already?!" Vic asked incredulously.

He ignored her tone, and threw an arm over her shoulders. "You're getting married," he said. "This is a big day."

"I'm really happy," Vic confessed quietly, wrapping an arm around her friend's waist. Travis squeezed her shoulders.

"Good," he replied. They walked up to the group.

As soon as she saw her, Frankel smirked, nudging Cindy and whispering in her ear.

Gratifyingly, Lucas' jaw fell open slightly, and he looked her up and down in an appreciative way. Vic grinned at him, taking the opportunity to check him out in turn. He was wearing a tailored suit she'd never seen before, and the dark blue suited him.

"You're so beautiful," he said openly with a soft smile.

"You're so handsome," she replied, stepping forward and kissing him gently.

"This is Don McLeod," he said after a moment, turning and introducing her to the tall, grey-haired and bespeckled man in a black suit next to him. "His wife Annie," a pretty woman in a green dress smiled, "and their son Kevin is over with Callum and Tuck."

Vic glanced in the direction he indicated, and had to stifle a laugh when she saw Callum had obviously been forced into a collared shirt and black jeans. He, Tuck, and Kevin were playing something on their Nintendo Switches by the look of it.

She turned back to the McLeods. "Nice to meet you. Thank you so much for doing this on short notice."

"It's my pleasure," said the judge in a deep voice shaking her hand. "And it's nice to finally meet you, Victoria."  His wife echoed the sentiment as Vic greeted her politely.

"Gibson phoned and said he and Miller would be another fifteen minutes or so, so I said we'd wait for them," Lucas told her.

"Sounds good," Vic said, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. "I'd better give my rings to Jennifer." 

"Okay," Lucas said, squeezing her hand back before letting her go. Jennifer was standing and talking to Frankel and Cindy, and Vic smiled at them politely.

"Sorry to interrupt," she said.

"It's your fucking wedding, Hughes, you can do whatever you want," Frankel said in her usual blunt fashion. She was wearing her dress uniform, while Cindy was wearing a beautiful yellow dress.

Jennifer had obviously spoken to her brother, because she was wearing a dark blue dress that matched Lucas' suit remarkably well. She was going to be Lucas' Best Maid, and so Vic handed her the small green ring box. 

"You look so beautiful, Vic," Jennifer said, placing her hand on her heart. "Aww."

"Thanks," Vic flushed a little. "I see you managed to wrestle Callum into a collared shirt?"

"My son will not embarrass me in the photos by wearing that awful t-shirt," Jennifer said firmly.

"Aunty Vic!" Maddie squealed, running up and launching herself at Vic. Vic barely caught her in time, much to Frankel and Cindy's amusement.

Maddie had decided, within minutes of meeting Vic, that if Uncle Lucas (who was clearly her hero) loved Vic then so did she. She'd spent most of the morning being Vic's shadow. Callum had been less enthuasiastic, but had been polite enough to his aunt-to-be that he was meeting for the first time.

"You look beautiful, Maddie!" Vic exclaimed. "I love your dress!"

"I love  _your_  dress!" Maddie said excitedly back, before wriggling down. "We got the flowers! I'll get yours!" She darted off again.

"Maddie bullied Vic into letting her be the flower girl this morning," Jennifer explained to Frankel and Cindy with a long-suffering air.

Vic laughed. "No, the thought of that hadn't occurred to me," she admitted. "I was very happy for her to do it if she wanted."

"So she's the flower girl, Jennifer's the Best Man, who's your bridesmaid?" Cindy asked.

"Travis Montgomery, my best friend," Vic replied, pointing to Travis. "Man of Honour." 

"Very modern," Frankel snorted, before her gaze moved behind Vic. "Captain Herrera."

* * *

Word had spread quickly through the SFD about the Chief's impending wedding. Pruitt had been a little surprised that there weren't more ruffled feathers, but Pat O'Malley had snorted when he'd mentioned it at their bowling night.

"Ripley just put out the word to say he's not inviting anyone," O'Malley had said. "He and Hughes are half-eloping, he said. They're getting married, and people can come and support if they want, but it's not a big party or anything."

"One way of getting a wedding guest list down," Hawkins had chuckled. "Don't invite anyone, and let everyone know there's not going to be catering."

"Still, I'm going to head along," O'Malley said, adding, "the wife loves a good wedding," when Hawkins gave him an odd look.

When he'd asked Andrea, his daughter had shrugged. "I think Vic would be pleased you came as long as -"

"I shut up and let them do this foolish thing?" Pruitt had said, sighing when his daughter had rolled her eyes at him. "Come on, Andrea, you must be sceptical as well. How well can they know each other?"

"Well, if you're talking about how a relationship needs pressure I'm pretty sure theirs must be a diamond by now," Maya had remarked dryly from the kitchen where she'd been eavesdropping. "I mean, there's two court cases, a council inquiry, two SFD HR inquiries, their relationship all over the press -"

"And a partridge in a pear tree," quipped Andrea. "I'd say if they don't know what each other are like at their worst after all that..."

Pruitt had had to admit the two young women had made a good point, but he reserved the right to still have a few doubts. Getting married only eight months in meant that the first blush of infatuation had not had a chance to wear off.

Still, he wanted to be there, for Hughes. He wasn't quite sure exactly when he had started thinking of his firefighters like children, but he put on his dress uniform and joined his daughter as they headed towards Vic who was talking to Frankel and two other women Pruitt didn't know.

"Chief Frankel," Pruitt greeted the woman politely, and Vic turned to greet them. He said as warmly as he could, "congratulations, Victoria."

Vic smiled at him, "thank you, sir." This was clearly not going to be a particularly traditional wedding, as the bride was wearing a light flowery dress that - in Pruitt's opinion - was a little too short. She looked beautiful, however, and Pruitt had to admit he'd never seen the girl look happier.

"Ma'am," Andy and Maya greeted Frankel, who nodded curtly at them.

"Jennifer, this is Pruitt Herrera, my old captain; and two of my friends and colleagues, Andy Herrera and Maya Bishop. This is Jennifer, Lucas' sister, and that's Cindy, Chief Frankel's fiancee," Vic introduced.

He'd heard, of course, that Frankel had officially come out. Unofficially, everyone had known. But he hadn't known that his boss had a partner, nor that they'd gotten engaged.

"Congratulations, ma'am," he said, fascinated to see two spots of red blooming on her cheeks.

"Sorry, excuse me, I need to say hi to Cameron!" Hughes exclaimed, darting off.

"Who's Cameron?" Pruitt asked, tracking her as she raced over to a plump young man whose red hair clashed rather unfortunately with an ugly and garish pink suit with a white flower tucked carefully into his lapel.

Ripley's sister frowned thoughtfully, as their small group watched Chief Ripley join his fiancee to greet Cameron. "Pretty sure he's the manager at the diner," Jennifer said.

"Diner?" Pruitt asked.

"There's this diner they go to a lot," Jennifer said with a shrug. "They took me there once when I met Vic for the first time."

It was, Pruitt realised, the first time he was seeing Hughes and Ripley as a couple. His arm had gone around her waist naturally as they greeted the young man, and he couldn't help but notice how in sync they were. The young man handed them a gift, and Vic glanced at Ripley who nodded for her to open it. It was a framed picture of some kind, and Pruitt watched as Vic leaned into Ripley as she thanked Cameron tearfully. Ripley, for his part, gave the younger man a smile and pressed a kiss to Hughes' cheek, taking the picture from her and heading off.

"Pruitt," he looked around to see a few other members of the brass coming up to shake hands with Jennifer and Frankel. He greeted Patrick O'Malley, Mateo Diaz, and Tom Green (who was busy needling Frankel - even at a wedding). He listened with half an ear to their conversation about the hospital fire.

He watched as Ripley returned, present-less, and immediately wrapped his arm around Hughes' waist again. Despite the increasing number of uniformed guests, the two of them seemed remarkably uninterested in doing the rounds and instead continued to stand and talk to this young man. 

Gibson and Miller arrived, hurrying up in their dress uniforms to the happy couple, shaking Ripley's hand and pulling Hughes into quick hugs. The couple then went over to a tall man in a dark suit, and Ripley nodded at his sister. With a piercing whistle from Frankel and a few barked commands from Jennifer, the bizarre wedding party fell into place. Ripley and Hughes stood facing each other, holding hands and smiling at each other.

"Everyone, we are gathered today to celebrate the marriage of Lucas John Ripley and Victoria Elizabeth Hughes," said the judge, his deep voice carrying.

Pruitt had been to a lot of weddings. Some had been elaborate, with long boring ceremonies. Others had been short and simple.

This was in the second category. It was short, simple, and from the way the couple were looking at each other, Pruitt suspected neither of them would ever remember who had actually attended; so wrapped up were they in each other.

"The bride and groom have prepared their own vows," Don's voice interrupted. "Lucas?"

He took a deep breath. "Victoria Hughes, I wish I had the words to say how much of a difference you have made in my life. I never realised I could be this happy, and it's down to you. You challenge me to see things from a fresh perspective, your sense of humour always makes me laugh even when we probably shouldn't, and you are the most compassionate person I've ever met. I love you, and I promise to spend the rest of my life proving to you that I am worthy of the trust you are giving me in letting me be the first Mr Hughes."

"Victoria," Don intoned.

"Lucas Ripley, I never thought I wanted to get married and then I met you. I can't imagine my life without this conversation, and I never want it to end. I have never felt so respected or loved as when I'm with you, and you make me smile. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you arguing about stupid things, singing in our kitchen, jumping out of planes, and eating stale bagels while drinking lukewarm coffee and talking about nothing at all. I love you, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life."

"Do you, Lucas John Ripley, take Victoria Elizabeth Hughes to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Lucas beamed at her and squeezed her hands. "I do," he let go of her left hand, as his sister stepped forward to offer him Vic's ring. He took it, and smiled shakily at her through tears. "I give you this ring as a sign of my commitment, and love for you." He slid the ring onto her finger.

"Do you, Victoria Elizabeth Hughes, take Lucas John Ripley to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," Vic said, beaming at him as tears rolled down her own face. She plucked the ring from Montgomery's hand, and said, "this ring is a symbol of my love and commitment for you." 

"By the power vested in me, I now declare you husband and wife," Don said with a smile. "You may now kiss."

They smiled at each other, taking a step forward and leaning in for a sweet kiss. He murmured something in her ear before they broke away from each other that caused her to laugh at him. The two of them then wandered from person to person, thanking everyone for coming.

Pruitt found himself near the young red-headed man, who was now wielding a camera and taking photos of everyone.

"Are you the photographer?" he asked politely. 

"Only a self-appointed one," the young man said cheerfully. "I'm Cameron. Cam."

"Pruitt Herrera," he shook the younger man's hand.

"You must be a firefighter too!" he said.

"I just retired, actually, but yes, I was Victoria's Captain," Pruitt replied. "How do you know her?"

"Oh, they come to my diner a lot," Cam said. "I mean, I'm one of the managers. I don't own it, obviously."

"They must be regulars for you to come to their wedding?"

"Oh yes," Cam replied enthusiastically. "I see them a couple of times a week? They stopped coming for a little while after there were all those stories about them in the news which was a shame. They're totally awesome. And it's so nice to see two people who are so in love, it's really romantic." He clearly spotted something, and held his camera up and clicked. Pruitt followed his line of sight to a group of boys playing soccer with a ball that Ripley had just kicked to them.

It was one of the nicer weddings Pruitt had been to, he thought, as he wandered over to the picnic table to get a plastic cup of punch. It seemed that a few people had brought plates of food, and so there was enough to nibble on to make a decent afternoon tea.

They  _were_ in love, as odd as it still seemed to Pruitt. Looking at them now, it was impossible to deny how happy they both looked, and he hoped it would last. (He was a little less worried about that than he had been before).

* * *

As it grew colder and darker, Lucas invited everyone to a nearby bar for drinks. The prospect of a bar tab garnered instant agreement from most, and so a surprisingly large number of people in dress uniforms and pretty dresses descended on the nearest bar.

"There's actually a lot of people," Vic leaned in to her new husband's ear to whisper.

"I know," he sounded equally surprised. "Well. Um. That's nice?"

"Have we said thank you to everyone?" Vic wondered.

Lucas shrugged. "I think, on our wedding day, we can pick who we want to talk to. We've thanked them by putting a thousand dollars behind the bar. If they want to talk to us they can come over."

Vic grinned at him. "Glad you agree," she said in relief, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning into him. "I love you, hubby."

"Love you too, wife," he said happily, pecking her on the lips.

"You two are adorably disgusting," sing-songed Jennifer, as she headed over, holding a yawning Maddie's hand. "I'm going to call an uber to take the kids back to yours," she said, giving first Lucas and then a kiss on the cheek. "We'll meet you for breakfast tomorrow?" 

"I can take you -" Lucas began, and Jennifer rolled his eyes. 

"Don't be ridiculous," she scolded mildly. "Stay here, drink a bit more, make eyes at your wife. We'll see you tomorrow."

He blushed, and nodded, returning her hug. "At least take my keys," he suggested. "We can uber. Vic's car is at her apartment."

"Welcome to the family," Jennifer whispered in Vic's ear as the two women hugged. 

"Thanks so much for all your help today," Vic replied.

"Not at all, darling," Jennifer said easily. 

"It was the bestest wedding ever," yawned Maddie.

"Only because I had the bestest flower girl ever," Vic said, to which the girl beamed, throwing her arms around Vic's waist in an enthusiastic hug. She was a little surprised to also receive an awkward but unprompted hug from Callum.

* * *

Travis tried not to be too creepy watching them as they said goodbye to Lucas' family, his hand seemingly glued to her waist or the small of her back. They looked so  _happy_ , and Vic was practically glowing.

"She's not pregnant, right?" Gibson asked in a low voice. Travis glanced over in surprise. "She's like...glowing."

"Not as far as I know," Travis said, narrowing his eyes.

A loud groan came from behind them, and they sheepishly turned to see Sullivan rolling his eyes. "They're just happy, you idiots," he said. 

"He'd have to know," Travis said slowly.

"Smoke's bad for the baby," agreed Jack.

"What baby?" asked Lucas blithely as he and Vic rejoined them.

"Um," Travis stammered.

"Yours," Sullivan replied dryly.

Lucas looked confused, glancing at Vic. "But we're not pregnant?"

"No, we're not," she said firmly. "God, Gibson, we only just got married and already you're starting pregnancy watch? I haven't even decided if I want any."

"Isn't that the sort of thing you decide before you get married?" Miller interjected, only to recoil from a glare from Vic as Lucas laughed.

"If I do decide I want children, I will definitely want them with him, so there's no issue," Vic said. "And Lucas doesn't mind if we don't have children."

"I've kind of half done it," Lucas said with a shrug at the quizzical looks directed at him. "I practically raised Jen from when she was ten, and I helped out with Callum a lot." The conversation moved on to Vic's obvious relief.

Half an hour later, Andy and Maya returned from the bathroom. "Where's Vic?" asked Andy with a frown.

"They were over -" Travis pointed over to the bar where Vic and Lucas had headed a few minutes ago. They weren't there.

"Think they've done a runner," Jack said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Ew," said Dean, making a face.

"They literally just got married, Dean," Maya retorted. "There'd be something wrong if they weren't -"

"Please don't," Sullivan said, closing his eyes tightly.

Travis' phone beeped.

"It's from Vic. She said there's still $200 on bar tab, but then Lucas said to get ourselves home in time for work tomorrow," he reported to the team.

* * *

Cameron grinned as they stepped into the diner.

"What can I get you, Mr and Mrs Hughes?" he asked.

Vic grinned. "My hubby will have just a latte, I'll have a hot chocolate, and could we get some of that cheesecake to share, please?" she asked, beaming at Lucas when she said hubby. He beamed back, reaching for her hand.

When Cameron brought around the coffees he also brought his camera, and showed Vic how to navigate through it.

"I'll get these properly processed," he promised. "But have a look through now!"

"Thanks, Cam," Vic said, and Lucas got up from his side of the table to sit next to her. They lingered over cake and their coffees, looking at the photographs. They couldn't have done better with a professional photographer.

"Cam, get someone to take a photo of us three," Vic said, stopping him as he left the check for them. The redhead flushed with pleasure, and called a waiter over who took a number of shots of the three of them - Cam beaming awkwardly - before handing the camera back to Cam.

"One of you two, now," he said, pointing the camera  at them. "In your booth."

Lucas wrapped his arm around her shoulder and Vic reached up to grasp her hand as she leaned into him. The camera flashed.

* * *

Look, Lucas totally got that going to the diner after their makeshift reception rather than home was cute and nostalgic.

But.

She'd been wearing that damn dress all day and giving him bedroom eyes whenever she thought anyone wasn't watching and it had been the most delightful torture ever.

Which was why, when he closed her apartment door behind them, she really shouldn't have been too surprised that he spun and pinned her against the door.

"Hi wife," he growled, gazing into her big brown eyes.

"Hi husband," she smiled flirtatiously at him, before her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned up to press her lips against his.

He was never going to get tired of kissing her, Lucas thought, as he sighed into her mouth. The way her tongue could twist against his genuinely made his knees weak, and the hot little panting noises she made were an unbearable combination of sexy and adorable.

"I love you," he said, bracing his hands on either side of her head, pressing her against the door with his body. One of her hands grabbed at his ass, squeezing firmly while the other wound through his hair.

"Love you," she replied, kissing him again.

When they next needed to breathe, he pulled back, and dropped to his knees.

"I love this dress," he groaned, pushing the skirt up to reveal her lacy, barely-there knickers. He pulled them down without ceremony, before pulling one of her legs over his shoulder. He grinned before lowering his mouth to her. Eating her out was up there on his list of favourite things to do - he loved the way she sounded when she moaned, the way she pulled at his hair, and she tasted better than any girl he'd ever had.

Vic was perfect. She liked to be the one in charge in bed, but was flexible enough with it for Lucas to sometimes call the shots. And outside of the bedroom, she was assertive without being too bossy. It was a balance neither Laura or Eva had gotten right; when he'd married Laura, he hadn't known that he liked the girl to be dominant in bed. And Eva had been overbearing both in bed and outside of it - Lucas had been too stubborn for her.

But now he'd found Victoria, and he got to be her husband. And it was his job to make her happy.

It was a job he was only too glad to do as he licked her clit again, pressing the flat of his tongue against her. He slipped one finger, then two into her warm, slick channel, curling his fingers in a way that always had her moaning his name in the most delicious way.

He ignored the discomfort in his crotch as his erection strained against the material of his pants, letting his beard run instead gently over her mound.

"More," Vic demanded breathlessly, pulling at his hair. Lucas obeyed, returning his tongue across her clit and suckling softly while pumping his fingers faster.

"Fuck, Hubby," she moaned loudly. "Oh god."

She was close, he could tell from the trembling in her thighs and the pitch of her voice. He added a third finger and sped up his tongue across her clit.

"Lucas!" she cried, pulling his hair so hard it hurt, and squeezing his face between her thighs. "Luke, Luke, Luke!"

She came with a shudder and a moan so loud he could feel it through her body and he grinned in satisfaction against her. He gently lowered her boneless leg off his shoulders, standing quickly and supporting her with his body against the wall. He sucked his fingers clean, and unbuckled his trousers, pushing them down.

The cold air was a relief on his erection, and he idly rubbed himself while he treated himself to her neck, kissing and sucking gently while waiting for her to recover.

"Mmmh, that's why I married you," she said in a husky voice, and he felt a small hand push his aside, encircling his cock. "What are we going to do with this, I wonder?"

Lucas drew back enough to look into her eyes, still black with pleasure.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart," he assured her, biting back an expletive as she grinned and ran her fingers up to his balls, cupping them gently.

"Well, I guess you'd better fuck me," she said with a grin, kissing him gently, and drawing one leg up around his hips. She gripped the base of his dick firmly, and guided him inside her, looking right into his eyes the entire time. She was warm and so wet around him and he groaned.

"Victoria," he breathed against her lips, kissing her firmly. He kept one hand under her ass, helping support her, but let the other hand wander around her body. Her hands were everywhere; in his hair, along his neck, gripping his ass so he was deeper inside her.

He loved kissing her while slowly rocking inside her. It was probably his favourite thing. 

"My wife," Lucas smiled against her lips, rocking a little faster now.

"Hubby," Vic gasped in reply. "More!"

He obeyed. At this faster pace he couldn't kiss her properly, so he settled for resting his forehead on hers, watching her eyes roll back in pleasure whenever he hit the right spot, and stealing a quick kiss here or there where he could.

It was getting harder to think, and her hand stole down between them. She rubbed her clit, and her fingertips brushed his cock every time he drew back.

He changed his grip on her slightly, thrusting harder as well as faster.

"Fuck, Vic," he swore as she squeezed her internal muscles around him. "Fuck."

"Please do," she panted. "I love you."

"I love you," he whined, the slap of their skin together filling the air. 

"Lucas," she pulled his hair. "Scruffy. Luuuuke." She convulsed around him, and her hand abruptly moved from her clit around to his balls, squeezing them tightly.

"Vic, god, Vic," he couldn't think between her hand on his balls, her tight heat, the hand pulling his hair, and her hot breath in shallow, sharp breaths on his neck. He drew back slightly and then buried himself inside her with a loud groan, hips stuttering as he came. 

When he could think again, Vic was stroking his hair, his face buried in her neck.

"Come on, hubby," she said quietly. "Take me to bed."

He did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine Vic's dress to look something like this: https://www.promgirl.com/shop/dresses/viewitem-PD2212266


	33. In the Looking Glass

Vic would later muse that Kat was probably lucky that (a) it was the day after she'd married the love of her life and (b) it was a Sunday.

It meant that she found out about the article Kat had done on the day it was released, along with the rest of her team.

Warren was the first to know; and indeed, the one to tell Vic. He always read the paper on Sundays - something for which the rest of the team tended to tease him. 

"Hey, old man!" Vic greeted breezily as she sailed in the door. "What's in the paper?"

"Still the aftermath of Seattle Pres burning down," Warren reported. "It's a ten page special."

"He keeps correcting the article," Travis said with a laugh.

"Well, come on, the fire started on the third floor not the fourth," Warren pointed out.

"It's the media, they never get anything right," Andy pointed out.

"Anyway, I'd ask how the rest of your night went, but the newly-wed swagger tells it all," Dean said with a grin.

"And I'd ask how the rest of your night went, but the sunglasses give it away," Vic retorted amiably, trying not to look too smug as she poured herself a cup of much-needed coffee. She helped herself to a plate of breakfast, and sat down.

"It was a lovely ceremony," Warren said, lifting his eyes from the paper.

"And who catered?" Dean asked, leaning forward. "I thought you weren't going to have food?"

"Jennifer insisted on making something, and to be honest, it was quite a nice way to spend yesterday morning," Vic said honestly. "And Kim, Lucas' PA, told us that she organised a bit of a bring-your-own-plate when she realised just how many people planned on coming from HQ."

"There were a  _lot_ of people for a wedding with, what, three days notice?" Travis agreed.

"Yeah," Vic shrugged. "Makes me even more glad we didn't have a formal invitation wedding. We would've offended a lot of people."

"By not inviting them?" Andy queried.

"Well, the people we wanted there were each other," Vic said bluntly. "There were a few more people there than that. Don't get me wrong, it was really lovely to have so many people there, but that was... just frosting. On the cake. Which was us getting married." She winced as she said it.

Dean raised his eyebrow at her. "That's a terrible metaphor," he said accusingly.

"It's Lucas'," she grumbled. "It gets worse every time he uses it."

"Have you said 'my husband' yet?" Travis asked with a grin.

Vic grinned back. "Yeah. We went to the diner for a coffee and cake after we left the bar," she said. "Ordered my husband a coffee."

"Oh god," Warren said, newspaper rustling. He looked up at Kat with a frown, then across to Vic.

Vic felt her stomach sink a little at the uncertain look on his face. "What?" she asked sharply.

"You're not going to like this," Ben sighed, gesturing for her to come over. She got up, and leaned over his shoulder.

**_Held At Knifepoint_ **

_Inside the larger drama of Seattle Presbyterian Hospital burning down is the story of Kathleen Noonan. A rookie firefighter at Station 19, this was her first big fire, and she herself admits that she was not prepared for the events that unfolded._

_Paired with Firefighter Victoria Hughes, who has become well known in recent months for her relationship with Fire Chief Lucas Ripley which caused quite a scandal in Seattle, -_ Vic winced -  _the call initially seemed straightforward for the two young women._

_"We went up to the surgical unit," Noonan says. "Started to try to fight the fire from inside the unit, but it was spreading too fast despite our best efforts."_

_They were ordered to leave the ward by Fire Chief Ripley, who had taken command of the scene._

_"He ordered the engines to start what we call an exterior attack," the young firefighter recalls. "That's where they try to drown the fire from the outside. Captain Sullivan tasked us to go down to level two, and ensure that the ward beneath the surgical unit had been evacuated."_

_This was where the trouble began. Initially unable to get into the locked psychiatric unit, the team of four firefighters from Station 19 were about to break down the door when a nurse returned to let them in. The medium acuity unit was the only part not evacuated, and opening the door brought out all but three of the psychiatric inpatients._

_There was a discussion - briefly - between the four firefighters, before all of them entered the unit._

_"Vic (Hughes) made us all hitch a safety line," Noonan says. "That's where we tie ourselves together. We knew there wasn't a lot of time, so we split into two teams. Dean (Miller) and Ben (Warren) found two people pretty quick."_

_She takes a moment before continuing, clearly, this event has left a scar. "I don't know where he came from, but all of a sudden there was someone behind me, and I could feel the knife at my throat."_

_Noonan says she was surprised to learn that the entire ordeal only took fifteen minutes. "It felt like hours," she says. In that time, Chief Ripley had called for police negotiators and commenced a hunt for a nurse who could identify the patient._

_Chief Ripley's efforts to help were hampered by the fact that the young man in question responded poorly to any radio noise. "We identified that straight away," Noonan says. "Vic kept leaving her channel on as much as possible, but he didn't like it so if he told her not to, I'd try to turn mine on so they could hear what was going on." Communication was, therefore, one sided. Information was going out, but not a lot of information was coming in._

_In fact, by the time they'd found someone who could identify the patient, Hughes had already convinced him to share his name._

_"She was amazing," Noonan says, shaking her head. "Stayed so calm through the whole thing and talked him out. We would go one step at a time."_

_Was Noonan concerned about the fact that this process involved the knife staying at her neck the whole time?_

_"[Hughes] did try to get him to hand her the knife, or drop the knife," the young woman admits. "But he wouldn't. And to be honest, I was just glad to get out of there - I was worried that that part of the building might collapse or the fire would spread, because they weren't able to target our floor directly because we were right there."_

_Some of this drama did, of course, play out rather spectacularly during a press conference Chief Ripley held while this was drama was unfolding. When this press conference is mentioned, Noonan blushes._

_"Yeah, so as it turns out, no matter how old you are, your Dad can still embarrass you," she mutters._

_Surely he was just concerned about his daughter?_

_"Yeah, but it's obviously less than ideal for him to shout at my boss about it. The whole event was just unfolding, and I know Dad was angry about not finding out before the press conference, but it had only just happened."_

_Should Chief Ripley have not gone to talk to the press then?_

_Noonan shrugs. "I don't know enough about it," she replies. "I guess it was what he could do - manage the press."_

_When asked to elaborate, Noonan hesitates. "The SFD tries to minimise the conflict of interest between his job and [Hughes']. So he handed over to Battalion Chief O'Malley, and then went to handle the press, apparently."_

_This press conference has added to the small viral online presence of both Hughes and Ripley. Their relationship first came to light two months ago, during the Seattle City Council budget hearings. Footage of Chief Ripley losing his temper at the repeated questioning about this relationship went viral, as did a photograph and twitter thread documenting a date shortly after the hearings. Despite the scandal caused by their relationship, Chief Ripley's popularity has soared in recent weeks after he declared war on bullying and harassment inside the Seattle Fire Department. They've been popular online for the_ Romeo and Juliet _nature of their forbidden romance, and recently, became even more popular when Chief Ripley announced their engagement._

_During the press conference on Monday, Chief Ripley's carefully calm and polished front was dismantled during a confrontation with Arthur Noonan, a journalist and father of Firefighter Kathleen Noonan. Ripley's worry was apparent, and commentators since have praised his determination to keep on with the job despite the anguish he must have felt at the thought of his betrothed held hostage in a burning building._

_"He dropped by that evening," Noonan confides. "Checked in with me as well, to see how I was doing."_

_She obviously knows Hughes well; has she gotten to know the Chief as well?_

_"I've met him a couple of times off-duty," Noonan says. "He's pretty quiet. He's really nice though, and polite. Vic's definitely the extroverted one out of the two of them."_

_It seems like an odd pairing from an outside perspective; does that change on knowing them?_

_"It's a little odd, sure," she admits. "But it kind of makes sense when they're together - they seem to really complement each other. They're getting married this weekend, and Vic's really happy about it." Noonan is reticent to go into more detail about the upcoming wedding..._

The rest of the article focussed more on Kat in the aftermath of the attack, and Vic figured she'd read enough. "For someone who apparently ' _obviously knows me well_ ' I'm a little surprised you couldn't work out that talking about my private life to the press would be something I'd hate," she snapped as sarcastically as she could at Kat whose obliviously unconcerned expression shifted to surprise and then a kind of worried guilt.

"I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it -" Warren started nervously, but was interrupted by Vic's phone.

Vic didn't need the caller ID that now read ‘Hubby’. "Hey, Lucas."

"Hi," he sounded weary. "Um, so I just got a phone call from Mallory."

"Warren's holding the paper," Vic replied.

"I've just started reading it now," Lucas replied resignedly. "I had nothing to do with this."

"I know you didn't," Vic said, looking down at the page. "Did the PR department?"

"No," Lucas said. "Mallory is on her way there to talk to her about not doing press as a representative of the SFD, etc."

The page was slid from Warren's grasp by Travis, and the rest of her team crowded around him to read it.

Vic waited, unable to look at Kat, as Lucas read his copy.

"Well, it could've been worse," he remarked, obviously finishing skimming it.

Vic's building anger suddenly deflated a bit. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Well, yeah," he said. "I mean, I've been expecting something like this for a while. I'm just really glad it wasn't Travis."

"What do you mean, wasn't Travis?" Vic parroted as her best friend looked up at the mention of his name.

"The press has been interested in us for a while now," Lucas said patiently. "At some point someone was going to talk to them. It would've hurt if it was Travis, because he's our friend, and he also probably knows the most about us. This," she can hear the rustle of the paper, and pictures him shaking it for emphasis. "This is pretty innocuous really."

"That's not the point," Vic said in frustration.

"Not the whole point, I know," he conceded. "Not a lot we can do about it now." Vic heard footsteps, and looked up to see Mallory and Sullivan entering the Beanery.

"Hi, Mallory," Vic said.

"Hi, Victoria," the other woman replied. "Kat Noonan? I'm Mallory Watson of the SFD PR department. I need a word."

"One second," Vic said, half to Lucas and half to Mallory. She looked at Kat. "Mallory's going to talk to you on behalf of the SFD. From my side of it, all I'm going to say is you should've known better than to talk to the press about someone else's private life."

"Sorry, I was trying to help after my dad -" Kat began, sounding subdued.

"Don't," Vic said irritably. "Just don't ever talk about me and my husband again."

The room was silent as Kat, clearly on the verge of tears, stood and followed Mallory down the corridor.

"Hughes," Sullivan said slowly. "Will this be a problem?"

"You don't have to worry about my ability to be professional," Vic snapped back. "But I'm allowed to be mad about this."

"Keep it out of my workplace," Sullivan growled back before turning and following after Mallory and Kat.

Lucas, clever man that he was, stayed quiet as Vic took a deep breath. After a couple of moments of her team-mates determinedly  _not_ staring at her, he broke the silence over the phone.

"Well, it wouldn't be us if we didn't have one last crisis before our holiday," he said dryly. Vic hiccoughed a laugh.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Why?" he replied. "Eggy, this has nothing to do with you. It's actually...quite a positive article about us really, which is a nice change. And it's not like she's given them some big scoop. Anyone who's met either of us can say with ease that you're the more talkative one, and I like to think we complement each other, and of course I'm obviously in love with you."

Vic could feel a lot of her anger fading away at his quiet, calming words. "Still," she sighed.

"I know," he said affectionately. "Look, only one more week and we'll be on our vacation."

"That was smart of us, half-eloping right before an already planned vacation," Vic said. "Instant honeymoon."

"Just you, me, the historical wonders of Ancient Greece, alcohol and good food," he promised. "Anyway. You need to finish breakfast. Have a good shift. I love you, wife." 

"Love you too, Hubby," she replied, before hanging up.

Travis immediately wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "It's a nice article," he inadvertently echoed Lucas in an attempt to reassure her, before asking, "what did he say about me!?"

Vic snorted. "You're so sensitive," she accused. "Actually, Lucas said the same thing about it being a nice enough article. He said he'd been expecting someone to talk to the press and was just glad it wasn't you because you're our friend and  _that_ would've hurt."

Travis gave her an odd look. "Did he really say that?" Vic looked at him in confusion. "Say 'our friend'?"

"Yeah," Vic said, and Travis beamed.

When Kat returned to the table, she was red-eyed and still subdued. "I'm sorry, Vic," she mumbled at the table.

"I accept your apology," Vic replied primly. "I meant it, though, don't ever do it again."

"Was he mad too?"

"No, Lucas was relieved it wasn't someone he knew well violating our trust," Vic said pointedly. Kat flinched.

* * *

 Vic glared at Sullivan when at lineup  he paired her with Kat. He pulled her aside afterwards.

"You said you could be professional," he said bluntly. "Prove it. I know you're angry, but you need to get over it."

"Like you did?" Vic retorted thoughtlessly, flinching as soon as she said it. "I'm sorry that was -"

"Uncalled for," Sullivan bristled. "Your husband is a big boy, he doesn't need you to fight his battles. Particularly not battles that are none of your business."

"I'm sorry," Vic repeated.

"Now you've said something dumb and thoughtless," Sullivan said. "And I forgive you. Time to do that for Noonan, who also did something dumb and foolish." He paused for a moment, looking at her, and his expression softened a little. "The pressure you - and Luke - have been under over the last couple of months has been immense. Just...get through this week. Have your vacation. Come back with your head cleared and back in the game, hey?"

"Yes sir," Vic said, hesitating. He turned to leave, and she threw caution to the wind. "I really am sorry, Sully."

"Apology accepted, Vic," he said.

Vic turned away and went to find Kat.

"I'm sorry," said the other woman as soon as she saw her.

Vic sighed and sat down. "I'm protective of him," she said quietly. "He's...being with me has exposed him to a lot of criticism and gossip, and Lucas doesn't deserve that.  _We_ don't deserve that. Don't ever do it again."

"I won't," Kat promised. 

"Good. Let's put this behind us," Vic got up, and turned to leave.

"Vic, wait," Kat called. "I, uh, never said thank you. For not leaving me. O'Malley ordered you to."

"We're a team," Vic said simply. "I was doing my job."

* * *

 

The rest of the week following their wedding both seemed to fly past and take forever. Lucas, busy preparing the department for two weeks of leave (Vic was horrified to learn that he hadn't been kidding when he said he had vacation days - he had literally never used one) was doing horrendous amounts of  overtime. Vic wouldn’t see him when she got home in the mornings because he was starting early and not finishing until 8 or 9 pm.

Her mood wasn’t improved by the ongoing press coverage (some social media photos of their wedding had leaked to Maya and Andy and Dean’s embarrassment and Vic’s frustration) even though it was now overwhelmingly positive. It still felt like a violation of her privacy. To be fair, it was hardly any less a violation of her team-mates’ privacy which they hadn’t asked for either so Vic bit her tongue as best she could, not wanting to burden Lucas even more (he’d simply sighed in resignation when the photos had been plastered all over the TV and local papers).

So Vic barely saw her new husband. Travis teased her about her foul mood, which spread to a station-wide joke about how Vic needed to go on her honeymoon and get laid.

She made the mistake of relaying this to an exhausted-looking Lucas one night when he slid into bed beside her. 

Lucas looked taken aback, and then horrified, immediately leaning in to kiss her. She pushed him back with a hand on his chest.

"Hubby, what are you doing?" she asked.

"If you want sex -" he started and she groaned loudly, rolling her eyes.

"I don't," she said. "Well, not right now, anyway. I'm grumpy because we just got married and we have a whole week before we can be away together alone _away_ from Seattle for a bit. The last two months have been so fucking difficult. Right now, I want you to listen to me whine, cuddle me, maybe make out a little, then get some sleep."

Lucas' expression softened.

"That I can do, honey," he said, sounding relieved, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you."

 


	34. Slow Dancing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vic and Lucas finally get their vacation-slash-honeymoon. This chapter is really just smutty fluff - they deserve it.

It took them  _days_  to get to Greece. It was kind of wonderful, in a very mundane way, to be able to be Lucas' wife. She got to hold his hand in the lines, and when she was so exhausted during their four hour stopover in London that she was practically asleep standing up, he took her passport and got them through all the checkpoints. She cuddled into him on the flights, stole his breadroll off his meal tray, and let him eat her dessert.

She loved him so much it was pathetic. Her only consolation was that he grinned at her goofily every time he referred to her as his wife (which, even Vic recognised, was a phrase he was managing to shoehorn into every single interaction with another person).

They didn't have sex on the first day of their honeymoon, because they got in to Athens late, went out for a meal, and then as soon as they got back, they both crashed into bed.

"We organised this the wrong way around," Vic said the next morning, looking up at the map, comfortably pillowed on his warm chest.

"Hmm?" Lucas was still half asleep.

"The Athens bit should'be been last. There's so many cool things to see here, whereas in Santorini all we have to do is sleep, swim, and have sex."

"The three basic  _S's_ in life," he agreed in amusement.

She sighed, and rolled off him, getting up and dressing for the day. She threw his jeans at him.

"Come on, hubby, let's see Athens," Vic said.

It was reassuring to find that they travelled well together. Vic had a wonderful time in Athens with him, clutching his hand, being able to take stupid selfies (he did the dorkiest, stupidest faces and she loved it) and traipsing around various historical sites. She'd intended on seducing him on their second night, but had fallen asleep while he showered after a full day of exploring.

But still, it somehow felt she wasn't doing her wifely duty, and so, even though she was still a bit jet-lagged on the third night, she rolled over to straddle him.

"We can have sex," she said. "I feel bad we're on our honeymoon and haven't had sex yet."

Lucas had laughed in her face. "I'm having a brilliant time, with you, hanging out," he assured her. "I love having sex with you, but I love just being with you as much. You look exhausted. Let's save the sex for when we're on the island, when we're not spending twelve or fourteen hours exploring a city on foot while still recovering from not just jet lag but the most exhausting couple of months at work I've ever had."

He looked momentarily worried. "Unless you feel _you_ want more sex?" 

"No," she smiled down at him and kissed him, before rolling off him and simply cuddling into his side. "Sex later. You're the best husband in the world."

"You're the best wife ever," he said quietly, kissing her forehead. Vic yawned, and was asleep in moments.

* * *

They'd checked into the hotel in Santorini after nine pm, and been so exhausted that after a quick shower, they'd fallen into bed. Vic had barely taken the time to appreciate the huge bathroom - all her appreciation was focussed on the comfy king bed.

She woke in the morning, to sun streaming in through to the bed. Soft lips and scratchy stubble were exploring behind her ear, Lucas' arm rested comfortingly over her hip with his hand tracing meaningless patterns on the bare skin revealed by the riding up of her singlet.

He was spooning her; his groin pressed intimately against her backside, and she could feel that he was half-hard.

"Mmm," she murmured, grinding her ass back against him. "Good morning."

She could feel Lucas smile against her neck. "Good morning," he replied, polite words undermined by his now-adventurous hand sliding unerringly under her shirt to cup one of her breasts. His other hand came around her shoulder, reaching down to the other breast. Vic leaned back, tilting her head  and meeting his lips halfway in an open-mouthed kiss.

They kissed languidly, Lucas' hands gently kneading her breasts, thumbs flicking over raised nipples. Vic ground back against him, relishing the feel of his growing arousal against her ass.

She moaned as he pinched her nipples, and, feeling like he had the upper hand, she reached blindly back. She slipped her hand under the waistband of his boxers, grasping his swollen cock and squeezing him gently. Lucas whimpered in her mouth, and in return, slid a hand down under her panties, slowly stroking and spreading her wetness through her folds. They established a slow, steady rhythm, stroking together almost lazily as they kissed. At some point, Lucas separated from her long enough to rip her singlet off and throw it somewhere before returning his tongue to her mouth.

"I want you inside me, Lucas Ripley," she murmured throatily against his lips before nipping his lower lip. Lucas gasped, breaking the kiss and dropping his mouth to her shoulder.

"Knickers off," he growled, moving his hand to help her push her underwear down. She kicked them off while he wriggled out of his boxers. Vic reached for him again, as he helped lift her thigh up, draping her leg over his hip before encircling her hand on his cock with his own. He teased her entrance with the tip of his cock, and Vic squeezed him again in retaliation. 

"Okay, I get the picture," he chuckled, kissing her shoulder.

"Then stop being a tease," she complained, letting go of his dick and reaching back to grab at his neck. "Sex _now_."

He bit her shoulder hard, as he slowly pushed in, eliciting a loud moan from her as he filled her up, stretching her almost painfully.

"Lucas," she gasped. "God, yes, right there." He licked at the bite on her shoulder, before kissing his way slowly up her neck. His hand moved back to her clit and slowly stroked in tandem with little rocking movements of his pelvis. He was barely moving inside her, doing just enough to hit her G-spot over and over again.

Vic tried to speed him up by pushing back against him and pulling his hair but with no luck.  "Patience, sweetheart," he growled into her neck, but he sped up his fingers for her anyway after a few moments.

"I love you," Vic said breathlessly. "I really do."

"I love you too," he replied, pausing a moment and leaning over her to meet her eyes. "Victoria, I love you so much."

"God you feel so good inside me," she groaned. He smiled brilliantly down at her, and kissed her on the lips gently as he stroked her reverently. 

"More," she ordered, and Lucas obeyed, mouth falling back to her neck as he slid out and thrust back in slowly. He established a slow, steady rhythm with his thrusts and his hands and his kisses on her neck and Vic hissed, unable to do much more than grasp at the sheets desperately with one hand, and his hair with the other.

"Lucas," she moaned as he hit her G spot particularly hard, and he bit kisses up her neck.

"Yes?" he panted as he thrust into her again.

"I want you on your back," she said. "I want to touch you properly." He nodded, and pulled out, falling onto his back. Vic rolled onto him, kissing him as she ground against his erection.

"Fuck, Vic," he grunted into her mouth. "Fuck me, please." 

She nipped at his lower lip, then drew back enough so that she could glance down and line him up at her entrance.

"God, now who's the tease," he complained as she slid him across her slippery folds.

"You can dish it out but not take it, hey?" she teased, but then lowered herself onto him properly, both of them groaning as he bottomed out inside her.

"You're beautiful, and amazing," he said, brushing her hair back from her face affectionately. His eyes, black save for a tiny sliver of bright blue around the outside, drifted up and down her form in lazy enjoyment.

"And you're so damn hot," Vic said, sitting back and squeezing his warm, throbbing cock inside her while admiring her view. Lucas was laid out below her, dishevelled hair curling softly like a halo around his head, firm pecs and six pack making him look like some kind of Greek god in her bed. She trailed her fingers down his chest, circling his nipples, before stroking his abs for good measure. She could feel his muscles contracting beneath her hands as he gave her the cocky grin she adored. He tucked his hands behind his head, and thrust up, angling his hips slightly to hit just the right spot. Vic's eyes closed almost involuntarily at how good it felt. 

"You know, you're going to have to fuck me in every room here," she said throatily, bracing herself with her hands on his muscular chest and slowly starting to ride him. 

"And that hot tub," he said. "And the shower. And outside on our deck chairs."

"Those were like, full sentences, in the middle of sex," Vic quirked an eyebrow. "I must be losing my touch."

"Noo- arrgh," Lucas groaned loudly as she clenched around him, and he reached for her. "Vic. Please."

Vic leaned down, maintaining her rhythm, and kissed him deeply, their tongues tangling together. His hands seemed to be everywhere; in her hair, over her ass, squeezing her breasts, rubbing her clit and  _damn_. She returned the favour, hands roaming all over him, along his jaw, down his chest, through his soft hair. She nipped at his lip and he growled into her mouth, grabbing her waist tightly and holding her on him, driving up into her.

"Lucas," she moaned into his mouth. "Lucas. Fuck yes." His pace increased, and she pulled his hair, too breathless to keep kissing him so she just leaned further forward down into him so that as he thrust up it was easier for him to hit the right place inside her. His mouth went to a breast, licking and sucking at her nipple. He had her babbling nonsense by the time he flipped them.

The breath left her lungs as she hit the mattress on her back, and she looked up straight into his eyes as he cradled her face in his hands. She took the opportunity to grab his muscular ass, enjoying the feel of his muscles working as he pumped into her.

Then Lucas smiled at her and she came, convulsing around him with a shout. He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed as he spilled inside her. Lucas rested his forehead against hers, their warm breaths mingling between them.

If anyone asked, it was definitely the little tilt Lucas did with his hips that had made her come, not the fact that he smiled at her. [He might be the hottest, smartest, kindest, sweetest guy she'd ever met but he definitely didn't just make her come by smiling at her].

"I love you," he whispered, kissing her. "And I'm so glad I get to do this for the rest of my life."

Vic stroked his cheek. "My Scruffy Lucas," she said affectionately, still a little breathless. "I love you." He grinned again at her, and kissed her again slowly, before sliding down her body. "God, Luke, are you trying to kill me?!"

"I'm just having breakfast," he said with a roguish grin, looking up at her from his spot in between her thighs before slowly lowering his mouth to her clit. "I'm hungry," he growled against her skin. 

* * *

 

Vic woke from her doze to hear the shower starting up. She sighed and stretched, feeling pleasantly achy and unpleasantly sticky.

How Lucas Ripley had been a single man when she met him escaped her. The man could use his mouth in ways she'd never imagined, and he actually really seemed to enjoy eating her out. She'd come twice on his tongue and fingers before he'd flipped her over and fucked her deliciously slowly into the mattress.

She lay there for a few moments, but eventually the discomfort from their dried juices all over her thighs won out and she got up with a sigh, walking into their ensuite. She took a moment to appreciate Lucas' ripped back and very cute ass, before stepping under the shower with him as quietly as she could, wrapping her arms around him from behind and reaching for his cock.

"I thought you were asleep," he said, leaning back into her as Vic gently slid her hand up and down his shaft.

"I was," she assured him. "But the fun seems to have moved here. And you promised you'd fuck me in the shower."

"Did I?" he asked nonchalantly, breath hitching a little as she squeezed him.

She loved giving him handjobs, loved how responsive he was and how she could feel him swell in her hands. Was it weird to be proud that her husband had a really impressively large dick? Because she was. And now that they were married, it felt like she could probably boast to Travis about the fact that not only was Lucas an expert at eating a girl out, but in any locker room he would easily be one of biggest, and was able to use it in _all_  the right ways.

It was a dick she was happy to have in her mouth, and Vic  _hated_  giving blowjobs as a rule. Or maybe it was more accurate to say had hated giving blowjobs. After all, it wasn't like she was ever going to have anyone else in her mouth, and quite frankly, she'd do Lucas any way he wanted.

"I'm going to need some soap, baby, if I'm going to get you clean," she said, kissing his shoulder blade.

"Is that what you're doing?" he asked, amused, but squirted some body wash into the palm of her upstretched hand anyway. She brought her arms back around to lather the soap, and started to wash his back.

"Hey," she said sharply, seeing him reach for his swaying erection himself. "Don't touch, and you'll get something better than a handjob."

"God, okay," he said in a strangled voice, clenching and unclenching his fists before finally bracing them on his hips.

"Good boy," she crooned, and took her time to 'wash' his back, caressing his muscles and pinching his ass. She enjoyed watching his muscles tense as she reached between his legs again with soapy hands, washing his balls carefully before 'cleaning' his cock. "Now you can turn around."

He did, and wordlessly pumped some more soap into her hands before lathering his own hands. They took their time to wash each other, interrupted by periods of exchanging kisses laden with promise. Lucas spent a somewhat disproportionate amount of time making sure her breasts and inner thighs were  _very_  clean, and Vic smirked at him.

"I think I'm clean now," he said suggestively. Vic laughed at him, but nodded, and turned around, bending over and bracing herself against the wall, twerking her ass invitingly. So she was somewhat surprised to instead have his soapy hands rubbing her back. "Hey, you washed my back, now I'm gonna wash yours."

"You're ridiculous, Scruffy," she said affectionately, as his cock slid through her folds slowly while he carefully lathered her shoulders. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his big strong hands gliding up and down her back, leaving trails of fire across her skin.

"Ready?" he checked, voice deep, kissing her shoulder as one hand settled on her hip.

"Fuck me, Lucas," she added a hint of a whine into her voice and he groaned. She felt the tip of his cock against her. He read her well, and knew she was desperate for him so Lucas didn't bother with a slow, teasing ramp up. Instead, he thrust into her with surety. 

"Yes," she hissed, before ordering him, "now, give it to me hard and rough, Chief."

"Yes, Hughes," he grunted, spanking her ass as he tightened his grip on her hip with his other hand and thrust again. The heat that had been coiling in her lower belly suddenly flared, and Vic went all tingly as she came around him with a whimper. As she contracted around him, the Chief growled, and spanked her again.

"God, I love it when you fuck me like this, sir," Vic moaned when she could summon speech again. She felt thoroughly used and sexy when it was Chief Ripley taking her like this - and it was the Chief fucking her; her Lucas made love to her instead. A therapist would probably have a field day with the dynamics - on the one hand, here she was enjoying being utterly ravished by her boss' boss' boss, but on the other hand,  _she_ was the one giving the orders. He never spanked her or went rough without her explicitly asking for it.

"However you want," he promised breathlessly. After all, they were aspects of the same man, who - Vic knew - would do whatever she wanted to her.

"More," she ordered, and he spanked her again before planting both hands on her hips, gripping tightly and speeding his pace up.

Vic arched her back and closed her eyes, enjoying the sound of the shower running, their skin slapping together and his heavy panting as he fucked her as she asked. His hands slid up to her breasts, pulling her closer against him and Vic keened. She reached down, rubbing her clit furiously.

It didn't take long before she came again. Ripley was still pounding into her when she regained her senses, and she glanced back to him, enjoying the look of pure Chiefly concentration on his face. He had his eyes closed, and Vic felt his thrusts become more erratic and his hands squeezed her breasts roughly.

She enjoyed watching him come. There was a sequence of events; his mouth fell open slightly, he would let out a moan or sigh, and then he would tilt his head back.

Vic watched as his mouth fell open and he moaned, sliding his hands from her breasts to grip her hips tightly. He gave one final hard thrust into her as his head tilted back, and she felt him come inside her. He opened his eyes, and saw her watching, giving her an unashamed smile.

"You feel so good," he said hoarsely, giving her butt an affectionate caress and leaning in for a quick kiss before sliding out. 

"Am I your favourite ride?" she asked cheekily, turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck, nudging him slightly so he blocked the water from the still-open shower head from getting into her face.

"Of course," he said, pressing her back against the cold tiles with a rakish smile. "And my favourite meal." 

Vic sighed happily, and pulled him down into a long kiss.

* * *

 

She'd never really thought about the fact that Lucas earned a lot of money.

Like, a  _lot_  more than she did, more than four times as much. And he, in his own words, hadn't had anything to spend it on.

And so, when he told her he'd cover the accommodation, she'd agreed without really thinking about the fact that he'd spend some of the money he'd saved over fifteen years as a highly ranked firefighter. It was lavish. They had a king bed, a huge ensuite and shower with two shower heads, a hot tub in the corner, a separate living area with a massive flatscreen TV, and outside, an area that looked out onto the sea with deckchairs...

 _...and their own infinity pool_.

And while Lucas had laughed at her when she'd reminded him that in her fantasy, he was shirtless, he had put the shirt back down after getting out of the shower.

So right now, he was lying out on the other deckchair, shirtless, wearing a pair of sunnies and reading a book. Vic had napped, letting the sun warm her back, for few hours, but now she was awake and he looked entirely edible. So she did what any hot-blooded American girl would do and got up, walking over and planting herself in his lap.

"Hey, honey," he said, letting the book drop to the ground. 

"This place is amazing," she said, sliding her hands up his chest. "You know we don't have to stay at however many millions of stars a hotel this is."

"Yeah, but it was my chance to spoil us after we had a really shit two months back home," he said, hands trailing up her back, pressing her into him. "And with our own pool, I figured I would get to openly enjoy the sight of you in a bikini." His grin turned wicked. "And we don't have to worry about life guards stopping us making out."

"Oh would you like to make out with me?" she gasped, grinding a little against him. He hissed, bringing his hands down to squeeze her ass tightly.

"I always want to make out with you," Lucas replied, leaning up and kissing her. Vic ground against him as they kissed, and when she could feel he was hard, trailed kisses down his bearded chin, his neck, to his chest. 

"Hands behind your head," she warned him, and he reluctantly obeyed. Vic licked at the hair in the centre of his chest before sliding across to first one nipple then the other, licking and biting and sucking at them before continuing down his muscular abdomen to the little strip of hair below his belly button. She slowly undid the laces on his board shorts, loosening them and sliding them down enough to grasp his cock.

She looked up at him, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, and gave him a smile. "Lunchtime," she teased, before lowering her mouth to his dick, letting her tongue swirl around the tip before taking him in her mouth.

Vic could feel him shudder, and she grinned around him, sucking and sliding down his shaft and looking back up at him. His penis was probably her second favourite physical feature of his. His mouth - talented, spicy, sweetly-smiling mouth - was first. Oh, but his eyes. His eyes were at least equal second with this dick that she loved to have inside her, jerk off for him, and suck off.

For a man who could - and had - eaten her out for hours, he was not big on having blowjobs himself. It made the rare occasion she actually did go down on him much sexier. She watched as his abs rippled from the tension of not thrusting, and she moaned.

Vic was not terribly surprised when he reached for her hair, pulling her off his cock and up to his mouth, kissing her frantically.

"You're the only guy I've ever met who doesn't like blow jobs," she murmured as one hand pushed aside her bikini bottom, spreading her to receive his dick, slippery from her spit and his own precum.

"I don't mind them," he panted, conversation pausing as she slowly slid down his shaft. Vic hissed, pausing about halfway.

"Sorry, you not ready?" he grunted, veins standing out in his temples.

"Lucas, I've lost track of my orgasms. You've fucked me three times already today and I'm a little sore," she pointed out. "You're not exactly small, honey."

"Want to stop?" he asked. Vic shook her head and continued to slide down him, falling a bit more in love with him for the fact that he looked concerned, not smug at his prowess or size.

"I'll just be slow," she said, and he nodded. 

"Was I too rough in the shower?" he asked once she was seated.

"No I wanted it like that," she assured him, kissing him gently. "It's okay. I'm as horny as you are."

"Okay," he pulled her head back down, kissing her slowly. Vic just ground her pelvis against his gently, enjoying the feel of his dick inside her again while his tongue gently curled against hers.

He was in no rush, letting her set the pace as he kissed her gently and deliberately, sun warming her back as she made love to him. His hand wormed down to her clit, matching her gentle movements with gentle strokes of his fingers.

"I can't believe my luck, that I get you," Vic pulled back to say, tracing her hands across the lines of his forehead and around his mouth. "I am so in love with you."

"I'm the lucky one," he replied simply and affectionately. 

She slowly rode him into oblivion, arcing her neck back. Lucas, for his part, was content to simply lie back and let her set the rhythm, continuing to finger her clit while his other hand rested gently on her waist.

They came at the same time, and Vic slumped down onto his chest. "You were saying, you don't mind blowjobs?" she said when she'd recovered her breath, absently tracing patterns around his nipple.

"Yeah, I mean, you get off," he said, and she felt him shrug underneath her. His hands moved down, sliding himself out of her and rearranging their swimwear so it was a little less uncomfortable. "But I mean, when I receive a blow job I can barely touch you or feel you. And I like being able to properly touch you. And you don't like giving blow jobs much anyway."

"No, but I feel I should return the favour," she said, pressing a kiss to his chest. "You go down on me almost every single time we have sex."

"But I like it," Lucas replied. "You smell and taste so good, Eggy, and then you're warmed up for me." He hesitated. "You know I like you being in charge, right?"

Vic smiled gently at him, caressing his beard.

"I know. I like being in charge," she replied. "But I'll let you have me any way you want. And if there's anything you want me to do, you tell me, okay? If you don't like blowjobs, I won't give them."

"I don't mind the occasional blow job," he said. "I  _am_ a guy."

"I've noticed," Vic said with a laugh. "Okay." She cuddled with him for a few more moments before yawning, and getting up. "I'd better go pee." She kissed him briefly, surprised when he got up too.

"I want to swim," Lucas explained, taking her hand as they walked back into their hotel suite. "I feel I should probably clean off."

"God, we're so domestic," Vic said, sitting on the toilet as Lucas unceremoniously stripped off his board shorts and stepped into the shower, quickly cleaning off. 

"You don't want a UTI and I don't want our pool dirty," he said with a shrug, turning off the water, and pulling his board shorts back on. Vic peed quickly, got back into the shower and rinsed herself, before heading out to join him in the pool, hooking her elbows over the edge of the pool as Lucas lazily swam laps.

"I love you," he said, popping up in front of her. "Have I mentioned that?"

"Yes," Vic said, amused, and kissed him, hands roaming across his bare back.

"Okay, we stopped worrying about whether we're having enough sex?" he asked, pulling back a little.

"I'm very satisfied with our spice levels," Vic said. He grinned at her.

"Good," he kissed her again. 

"Your hair is so long you're more Shaggy than Scruffy now," she murmured, playing with his hair. 

"Zoinks - " he said, and Vic burst into giggles. 

"That is so unsexy," she said, trying to sound stern.

"Ruh-roh," he replied teasingly.

"No, don't!" she squealed. "So _so_ not spicy."

"What about this?" he asked, pressing her against the edge of the pool and kissing the crook of her neck. 

"Better."

"This?" he kissed his way up to just behind her ear.

"Hmm."

"This?"

Lucas' mouth was hot and hungry on hers as he kissed her deeply.

"That's pretty good..."


	35. Back to Ground

"So if it's 11.30pm here, it'll be like, 9am there?" Travis said, frowning at his phone.

"So they've been there for four days?" asked Jack, frowning.

"No, it should be five days," Maya corrected. 

"Because it's tomorrow there, right?" Andy said. "We're behind them."

"Will they even be awake?" Dean asked. "I mean, I don't exactly want to wake the Chief on his honeymoon."

"Or interrupt something else," Jack muttered darkly. Everyone looked at him. "What, we're going to pretend like they're not going to be having lots of ..." he made a face. "They're on their honeymoon, for fuck's sake."

"Vic said to ring around now," Travis said. "This afternoon they're going out and won't have wifi."

"Okay, just ring then," Maya said, exasperated. "If she doesn't answer, fine."

Travis pressed the call button, and a few moments later, a very tanned and happy looking Vic answered. "Hey Travis - oh, hey everyone!"

"Hey, Vic!" he greeted with a grin.

"How's work?" Vic asked.

"How was work, how is  _Greece_?!" Maya leaned over Travis' shoulder to ask.

"Have you done anything except have loads of really hot sex?" Travis said suggestively. Vic blushed prettily, and he felt Dean punch him in the shoulder.

"Please don't answer that," Jack said. "We don't want to know."

"Is your hotel nice?" Andy asked, leaning in over Travis' other shoulder.

"Is it nice?" Vic shook her head, eyes darting from the screen. "Give me a second, I'll show you. I married the biggest slob on the planet and he has left his shit everywhere." She was clearly moving something, then turned the phone around.

Dean let out a low whistle. "Nice room, Hughes," he said. It was a massive bedroom, with what looked like a ...

"King sized bed," Vic confirmed, before walking to a huge ensuite with two sinks (Travis noticed with amusement that there was a pink toiletries bag neatly tucked next to one sink, and the other sink had what was clearly Ripley's toothbrush, toothpaste, and an open tube of sunscreen scattered all over the place). Vic continued to narrate as she showed them, "shower, hot tub, walk in wardrobe which we're not using because why would we use a wardrobe when Lucas can just throw clothes on the floor..."

There was some nervous laughter. "He always seems so tidy," Dean said. 

"At work," Vic said darkly, moving back out of the ensuite through their bedroom into the lounge. "Um, open plan living area."

A dining table separated a couch and huge TV from a small, cottage-y kitchen. 

"Is this just a two person room?" Andy asked sceptically. "That looks bigger than your whole apartment."

Vic laughed. "It's not quite as big as my apartment, but it is close. It's some kind of suite. Lucas said he'd look after accommodation and he went overboard. You haven't even seen outside yet," Vic said, turning them back towards her. "We have the option of going down to the restaurant for a continental breakfast, or they deliver a cooked breakfast to our room." 

"Well, show us outside," Maya demanded. 

"I'm going to, I'm going to, I just want you to take it all in at once," Vic said, clearly walking out of the suite. "Okay, here goes."

She turned the phone and slowly panned across the outside area of their suite. They had a small outside table, and got an immediate shot of the Chief's freckled back as he sat hunched over his laptop. There were two deckchairs set out (towel flung over one of them) next to...

"IS THAT AN INFINITY POOL!?" screeched Andy.

"YOUR OWN POOL?" added Maya.

"Why are they focused on the pool and not the view of the Adriatic?" came a quiet male voice, and Vic laughed, automatically moving the camera towards Ripley, who'd turned to them.

"Say hi, Lucas," she said.

"Hi, Lucas," he replied, deadpan, giving them a wave, completely unbothered by the fact that he was shirtless.

Okay, so the Chief might be not just his boss but his best friend's husband, but that wasn't going to stop Travis noting that the older man had really nice pecs. 

"You're so funny," Vic said sarcastically. "Go back to work." He smirked at her, but turned back around. "Guess how long my husband lasted before he pulled out his laptop and started checking emails?" she asked, continuing towards the pool and obviously hopping in, going straight to the edge and turning the phone around so that they could see her against the ocean backdrop.

Travis shrugged. "Eighteen hours?"

"Twelve hours?" Andy tried.

"Twenty four?" offered Dean, while Jack opted for thirty-six.

Everyone looked at Maya, who hadn't offered a number. She shrugged. "I'm guessing he didn't last any time."

"Correct," Vic said with mixed exasperation and fondness. "We hadn't even left the US." She looked past the phone's camera, as Ripley obviously called something over to her, and laughed at him. "I know, Hubby. It's okay, I'm teasing you." She looked back at them. "He would like me to point out that he then wasn't able to check emails for the flight here, and was good and didn't touch his laptop again until the second day. Anyway. How's work been going?"

"I miss our shift," Andy complained. "I got moved to B shift and they are _t_ _he_ worst."

"You're whipping them into shape though," Jack said. "They cleaned up the bathroom before we came on last shift."

"Yeah, so, as it turns out, they didn't because A shift doesn't, and I had to point out that that meant they were just making it so  _C shift_ had dirty bathrooms not A shift," Andy sighed. 

"I'm on A shift which is actually all right," Maya said. "Not as cool as you guys, obviously, but it's a pretty motivated crew."

"Except when it comes to cleaning bathrooms," Andy muttered.

"I got stuck with C shift," Jack interrupted the burgeoning argument, faux-gloomily. "Bunch of lazy idiots. And a bit of a man-fest right now."

"We desperately need you back, Vic," Travis said solemnly. "The smell is..."

"Not good," Dean said. "And if you stopped wearing quite so much cologne, Travis -"

Vic laughed at them.

"Anyway, work's work, you're in Greece, doing anything other than your husband?" Maya asked.

"Ew," Dean muttered, elbowing Maya, who elbowed him back.

Vic simply grinned at the mention of the word husband. "Yesterday we went kite-surfing. My husband was really annoyingly good at it - he used to surf a lot when he was younger - and I was ... not so good. But it was great fun, you actually can get lifted into the air pretty high!"

"So they just strap you in and let you go or -?" 

"No, there's like an instructor. We opted for an all day session which was a good idea - there was a lot of detail to pick up. We're going to go again tomorrow afternoon," Vic explained. "But we thought we'd go snorkeling tomorrow morning."

"What are you doing today?" Dean asked.

"Well, we're having a bit of a lazy morning so my husband can do a bit of work because we crashed last night after kite-surfing - he's been up for two hours already - and this afternoon we're just going to wander around to a crafts market that's apparently on this afternoon."

"Sounds like you're having a good time," Jack commented. 

"It's really pretty here," Vic agreed. "Like, there's all these really cute little restaurants, and even just wandering around is fun. Athens was quite different; we did a lot more of the history tour stuff and museums, but this is really just a holiday place so there's not as much of that here." Her gaze again drifted from the camera, and she said sharply, "don't you dare, Lucas John Ripley!" A loud laugh echoed, followed by an inaudible question. "Yes please."

She rolled her eyes back at the camera. "He was threatening to dive bomb because he's mentally a child." 

"Did you see the Acropolis?" Dean asked eagerly. Everyone looked at him. "What?! It's an important historical site!"

"Yeah, we spent a whole day at the Acropolis," Vic replied. "It's kind of mind-blowing how old some of those buildings are, and how... like... the Parthenon started as a temple in like, the 400s BCE and it was a mosque at some point and - thanks Luke -" a glass with a fruity looking drink was handed to her.

"And then it was blown up by the Venetians," added Ripley. "Because they were storing gunpowder in it."

Vic rolled her eyes. "Lucas' favourite thing was learning how everything exploded."

"Oh don't do that, you were interested in the explosions too," he teased. 

"Are you going to say hi properly?" she asked, turning the camera towards him. 

"Hi guys," he said, looking a little self-conscious. "They don't want to talk to me, Vic, they want to talk to you - hey what are those things down the bottom?"

"Snapchat filters - god, I haven't even used one yet!" 

"I thought snapchat was the one that deleted the photo?" Ripley sounded confused. 

"It is, but then you can also use these filters to make yourself look - see?"

Travis laughed as she put a flower crown filter on him. It was weird to see him not just shirtless, but obviously relaxed. His hair was surprisingly curly, and his usually neatly trimmed short beard was growing out.

"Oh and all of these things are a filter?" he asked.

"God, this is worse than teaching you, Gibson," Maya said.

"Bear with us guys," Vic said, as a rapid sequence of filters quickly got switched through.

"No, no, you keep talking to them," Ripley said, taking her phone. "I'll just play with these, they look funny." He settled behind her, looping his arms over her shoulders and angling the phone so they could see her face against his chest, and the filter worked. "Can you filter two people at once?" he asked as he tilted the phone to try to get both of them in the frame.

"No," Travis replied, and Ripley made a face before tilting the phone again to put Vic in the centre of the screen. "I've tried it before."

"Sullivan said to say hi," Andy volunteered. "To both of you."

"Tell him we said hi too," Ripley said, as Vic took a sip of her drink.

"I thought there was an Acting Chief?" Gibson asked. "You still need to work on your vacation?"

"There is, Mat Diaz is doing a great job," Ripley replied easily. "But because I'm only away for two weeks he's just covering short term decisions. For example, the planning of the next lot of exams is still part of my job, we're reworking the media policies of the organisation, and we're looking at CVs to replace a couple of high-ranking positions. Now, I could theoretically leave it all until I get back, or if I do a couple of hours a day here then when we get back I'll still actually see my wife rather than living at work for the next month." They could see the lower part of his jaw as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"It gives me time to sleep in while he works," Vic shrugged happily. They chatted with Vic for another ten minutes or so, Ripley continuing to change the filters and intermittently interjecting, before they hung up.

"Well, that was cute," Andy said despite herself. "Could she have referred to him as her husband more than she did?" Everyone chuckled.

"He's really hot," Maya said. Jack shot her a look, and she rolled her eyes. "I just hadn't noticed it."

"The uniform does him no favours," agreed Travis.

"Ew," Dean repeated.

* * *

They arrived back home in the late afternoon. Despite the long plane flights in cramped seats back, Vic felt deliciously relaxed and loose. Both of them were a little sore, but Vic had proudly told Lucas when he'd tried to apologise for the fact that she was limping a little that it felt like they'd done their honeymoon right.

So they had a lazy dinner of takeaway, ignoring the steady beeping from Lucas' phone that had started the moment they arrived back in the States, and fell into bed together, cuddling up comfortably.

"I love travelling with you," Vic murmured into his chest. 

"I love travelling with  _you_ ," he replied, rubbing her back. "It was so easy."

She looked up to him. "That's the thing, Lucas," she said quietly. "Being with you does feel so easy when we're together. I love that."

"We're a good team," he agreed, leaning in for a quick kiss. "I love you, wife."

"I love you, husband." His phone beeped again. "You can go in tomorrow if you need."

"You're not working tomorrow," he said. "It's our last day together."

"Yeah, but if you need to it's okay," she assured him. 

He sighed, and picked up his phone.

"Are you sure?" he asked after a few minutes of scrolling. "I probably should because -"

"I don't want to know about the next crisis right now," she interrupted. "You go to work tomorrow, I can find out later."

"Okay, I'll just go in the afternoon," he said, hesitating before saying, "thank you."

"You were all mine for two weeks," she said with a yawn. "I know I need to share you with your other love."

"How did you know about me and Al Reynolds?" he asked in mock-horror.

Vic burst into laughter, slapping him on the chest gently.

"You idiot," she said, affectionately. "The SFD."

"Right, my  _other_  other love."

* * *

 Lucas kissed her goodbye at 11.30, promising to be back by four. 

"Sure," Vic said sceptically. "Look we both know you're going to get caught up and won't be home till six. Just let me know if you'll be later than six, okay?"

"I'll be back by four," he insisted.

Travis knocked on her door at one, carrying a heap of empty flat boxes.

"How are you?" he exclaimed, pulling her into a one-armed hug.

"Good, how are you?" Vic said into his neck, squeezing him tightly.

"Good," he said. "You're so tanned!"

"Greece will do that," she said with a grin. "It was so beautiful." 

He trailed her into the kitchen, leaning the boxes against the wall, and sitting at her kitchen table. "How was the honeymoon?" he asked suggestively.

Vic blushed. "Amazing," she said. "Travelling with Lucas is the most fun thing ever. And," she hesitated. "I didn't actually realise how much money he makes. It was surreal because he really was like, we can spend whatever we want. Do whatever we want. Price wasn't really an issue."

"That must've been nice," Travis offered.

Vic nodded. "It was - I mean, my husband spent most of his life, not poor, exactly, but not rich. So he's not extravagant - except with the accommodation in Santorini - but he was happy to spend money on things where I wouldn't have probably afforded them. The twenty dollar bottle of wine, not the ten."

Travis smiled, nodded, and waited.

"He's _so_ good in bed," the words fell from her mouth. "And, like, it was nice to just spend days uninterrupted... Is it weird that I'm proud that my husband has a big dick? Because he does. And then he does this thing -"

"Okay,  _that_ is enough," Travis said firmly, laughing. "I'm glad you're having super hot sex with your super hot husband, but while knowing my boss' dick is big is a bit weird, knowing _what_ he does when he has sex with you is a bridge way too far."

"Fair enough," Vic said with a wince.

"So lots of good sex," Travis said. "Apart from that, what else did you do?"

They didn't end up getting far with packing. They did one set of shelves, but they were too busy chatting about the food in Greece, and how Dean's new girlfriend Nikki is actually Maya's ex and now it's all weird between Dean and Jack as well as Dean and Maya and kind of also Maya and Jack although they haven't broken up.

Travis earned himself a slap when it took him an hour and a half to admit to snogging Dylan, a California firefighter when the team had gone out to California to help fight wildfires.

"He's hot," Vic said approvingly, looking at his Facebook on Travis' phone. She frowned, and suddenly sat down. "I'm a terrible friend. I just noticed - Trav, your ring!"

Travis gave her a thin smile, rubbing the place where it used to sit.

"I took it off after we called you in Greece," he said quietly. "I realised...I miss Michael. With all my heart. But I think I also want to be able to fall in love again, and that means accepting he's gone."

"It doesn't mean you love him any less," Vic said. "My husband -" Travis couldn't help but enjoy the look of mixed smugness, wonder, and delight every time Vic said the word, which was often, "my husband has been married twice before." She hesitated, before saying, "he's never told me that he loves me more than anyone he's ever met. And I know it's because it's not true. He loved Laura and Eva, and part of him always will. I don't think he loved them _more_ , just differently. And it's okay that he loved other women enough to marry them before me. We can love more than one person in our lives."

"Says the woman who just promised to love one person for the rest of her life," Travis said.

Vic shrugged. "But that's a choice as much as anything. Your choice was taken away. I never wanted to get married, and you know, one of the reasons I decided to marry Lucas - I mean, apart from the fact I do want to spend the rest of my life with him - is that I know that we could be very amicable divorcees if worst came to worst. Laura's said that she has never regretted marrying him, because having him as an ex-husband is pretty great. I'm not planning on that happening, I genuinely want and expect to spend the rest of our lives together but it's...it's a reassuring thing."

Travis shook his head and laughed. "One, when did you get so wise? Two, your approach to marriage is hilariously pragmatic - already thinking of the divorce."

"I don't plan on getting divorced," Vic said defensively. "He ... he means the world to me. I can't imagine being with anyone else."

"Yeah, okay," Travis said fondly, as a knock echoed at the door.

"We weren't invited?" Maya swung the door open without waiting for a reply.

"We brought wine!" Andy said, attempting to smooth things over.

* * *

It had turned into a bit of a party during which no packing was done. Travis felt a little bad that Bishop and Herrera's arrival had been closely followed by Miller and Gibson, but Vic had shrugged and seemed genuinely happy for them to have all invited themselves over.

In fact, she'd dispatched Travis to the shops with a grocery list for dinner, accompanied by Gibson.

Travis was busy making a salad with help from Andy and Maya. Dean had started making margaritas almost automatically, while Jack had volunteered himself cheerfully for clean-up duty.

It felt so wonderfully domestic, like the old days back when Captain Herrera had still been their Captain, as Dean rapped along to the _Hamilton_ song that was playing. "Get your education, don't forget from whence you came and the world's gonna know your name, what's your name man?"

"Alexander Hamilton," a familiar voice intoned from the doorway, and Travis glanced up to see Ripley step dramatically into the kitchen.

Vic laughed, "how long were you standing there waiting for the cue?" she asked, before turning around. Her mouth fell open in surprise.

Lucas laughed, "guilty," he said. "Hi everyone." A chorus of greetings echoed back.

"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?" she exclaimed, stepping forward and reaching up to caress his newly clean-shaven cheeks in fascination. Travis had never seen the other man without his short beard, and he looked different without it. Now that his curls had been cut off, Travis could see that his hair had actually been really quite long and unruly.

He blushed a little. "Kim informed me I looked like a homeless man," he said dryly. "And my barber told me my beard was a lost cause and shaved it off."

Vic laughed. "Both of which were a little true," she said, running her fingers through his now-short hair. "If you'd used a hairbrush or trimmed your beard at any point in the last couple of weeks it might not have been such a lost cause."

He shrugged. "It's the first time since I was in college I haven't had to," he said. "Anyway. Hey. Sorry I'm late."

Vic glanced at the clock. "Hi. It's five-thirty. I wasn't expecting you till six." She kissed him happily, and Travis couldn't help but smile as he watched Ripley casually hook his thumbs through the loops on Vic's jeans, tugging her closer. It was weird how not-weird them kissing had started to become, and Travis had to admit he was really glad for his friend that she now could be affectionate with the guy she loved.

"Gosh kissing you is weird," Vic said quietly as they separated, stroking his cheek in fascination. "Your face is so smooth!"

Ripley chuckled. "My beard will grow back," he assured her. "Give me a couple of days."

"Not bad weird just...I think I prefer you with the beard," she said quietly. He grinned and went to reply, but then his face froze. "What?"

"What's with the boxes?" he asked, expression starting to close over. 

"I figured at some point we should move in together," Vic said dryly.

"Yeah, but," he said, blinking at her in confusion. "I figured we'd just live here."

"Here? In a one-bedroom apartment that I rent?" Vic asked incredulously. "You  _own_ your three-bedroom house."

"We could buy the apartment," he said dismissively.

Travis winced as he watched Vic draw back, placing her hands on her hips. "Lucas Ripley, that's the most obnoxious thing I've ever heard you say," she accused. 

Ripley winced as well. "I like it here," he said, placatingly. "I like your apartment."

"So do I," Vic said slowly. "But it makes no sense to _live_ here." They looked at each other for a long moment before Vic shook her head, stance softening, and laughing quietly. "We talked about kids, and about finances, and about what work-life balance we want but at no point did I think we needed to talk about where we were going to  _live_."

Ripley looked sheepish. "Let's sort it out later." He leaned down and kissed her quickly again.

"Okay, hubby," Vic said quietly.

"What's for dinner?" he asked, at a more conversational volume.

"Travis is making salad -" 

Ripley groaned.

"Hey!" Travis mock-objected.

"No offence, Travis, but salad," Lucas gave an exaggerated shudder as Vic rolled her eyes.

"Mac and cheese," Vic continued. 

"Your mac and cheese?" he asked in delight.

"Yes, dear," Vic replied patiently. "And you're going to be cooking the steaks. Oh, and Miller's making margaritas. You have to have one. But shower first."

"Yes, dear," he parroted, before heading into her bedroom.

"What was that about?" Vic muttered as the door to her room closed, frowning in confusion.

"Was it a house he bought with an ex-wife?" Travis asked.

"No," Vic replied immediately. "That's why it's weird. He and Laura never bought a house together, and he didn't fight Eva for their house when they got divorced. This was a house he bought years after his second divorce."

"Huh, that is weird," Travis agreed, while the rest of the team studiously and awkwardly focussed on their jobs.

"Men," Vic rolled her eyes. "Anyway, quick, before my husband's out of the shower, finish telling me about our new lieutenant on C shift."

By the time Lucas was out of the bathroom, Irvington's faults (he chewed with his mouth open, had a terrible dad sense of humour that went perfectly terribly with Warren's) and strengths (he seemed nice) had been thoroughly dissected. Travis was relieved and pleased to watch Ripley immediately take the knife Vic handed him, and start helping prepare their meal, acting as if the earlier disagreement had never happened. If he was unhappy about having the team invade the last day of their honeymoon, he didn't show it.

* * *

They lingered over dinner for about two hours, but Lucas tried not to be too obviously relieved when the team quickly helped them clean up and then left without prompting. It was only 9pm, and he figured he had pretty good odds of convincing Vic that they needed to celebrate the last day of their honeymoon in style.

But as she closed the door firmly behind Miller and turned to him, her eyes narrowed and he felt those odds turn against him.

"Why on earth would we live here?" she demanded, brushing past him to the kitchen. He followed, uselessly, as she poured herself a glass of water.

"Do we have to discuss this now?" he asked instead. "Can't we just have a nice evening enjoying the last day of our honeymoon?"

She glared at him, and he sighed. It had been worth a try. "No, Lucas, we're going to discuss it now," she said firmly. "We are not going to let this fester."

They stood looking at each other for a long moment.

"I like your apartment," he said with a shrug. 

"I  _rent_ ," she said.

"Is it obnoxious of me to point out that we have two incomes, no children, and a house I could rent out so it doesn't matter if we rent here?" he asked carefully, deliberately not pointing out that he could very easily afford to buy the damn place.

"Yes," she hissed. "God, why would we live in a one bedroom apartment? It's not  _that_ nice!" 

He looked around her little kitchen with green wallpaper that had started to peel on the right hand side of the room, into the living room where brightly coloured cushions failed to completely disguise the fact that the couch was a little shabby. He loved this place so much.

"It's wonderful," he said firmly. "We don't need a larger space -"

"Don't need a larger -" she spluttered. " _Lucas_. We just had my team around and Maya and Jack had to eat in the lounge room while Miller ate standing up in the kitchen because there was no space at the table!"

"Everyone had fun," he said defensively. 

"What are we going to do with Jennifer and the kids if they come to stay?" she asked. 

"I'll put them up in a hotel -"

"You will  _not_ ," he flinched at the steeliness in her tone. She sighed. "Lucas..."

"It's nice here," he said stubbornly, a little embarrassed to admit that he liked her apartment because it felt like  _home_. His house was so grim and sterile and he'd been - unknowingly - so lonely and unhappy for twelve  _years_ there. Vic didn't belong there, in that place that he'd never completely unpacked in, where he went in between shifts to sleep.

Vic's apartment was light and happy and warm, with bright cushions and cute knick-knacks arranged prettily on decorative shelves. Lucas had fallen in love with her here, cooking together over her stove and curled up in soft blankets on her couch surrounded by her smell and vivacity and ...

"Lucas," Vic said gently, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. She prodded at his temple. "What's going on in there?"

"Your apartment feels like home," he said slowly. "It's ... warm...and happy..."

She looked confused. "And your house...isn't?"

"You've got all these nice things like cushions and pretty pictures -"

Vic looked even more confused. "I was kind of hoping I could bring most of my things?" she said dryly.

"I fell in love with you here," he said quietly.

Vic laughed at him. "You were falling in love with me at your house too, I hope," she teased.

"Yes but," he sighed. "This is home. It's...it's  _happy_."

She studied his face for a long moment, idly bringing a hand to stroke his cheeks.

"Okay," she said. "I will love you anywhere we live, Lucas Ripley. There's a ring on your finger that tells you that. We can't  _live_ here. We will be happy in your house too."

"I don't want to live there," he said quietly.

To her credit, his wife didn't roll her eyes at him. "Then we'd better start looking for a house," Vic said pragmatically, a hint of exasperation to her voice.

Lucas opened his mouth to object, but paused. He wasn't going to win this argument but he could prolong the move out of her apartment by vetoing everything they looked at.

"Okay," he made sure to sound disgruntled so Vic thought she'd won. "Now, can we end our first married argument and our honeymoon -"

"End that sentence with the words, 'with a bang' and I'm divorcing you," Vic joked. (At least, he assumed she was joking).

"I was going to say with some fireworks," he said with a shrug and his most charming grin. It worked, because Vic giggled, and pulled him into a toe-curling kiss. "I love you, Victoria."

"I love you, Lucas."


	36. Setting Down Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh this is such a loooong chapter but it sort of all goes together and I didn't want to split it.
> 
> This is not the last chapter. I've got at least two more to go, possibly three depending on whether one of them ends up needing to be split.

He found her restocking the aid car.

"So, where are you living?" he drawled conversationally, sitting himself down on the gurney. Travis had wanted to ask at breakfast, but had bit his tongue when Irvington had walked in and introduced himself to Vic. Their new Sergeant had looked at her a little too curiously, and Vic had twisted her wedding ring around her finger, expression going blank.

Vic rolled her eyes. "We're looking for a place to buy," she said, sounding exasperated. "For now, my apartment."

"Did he tell you what it was all about?" Travis asked curiously.

"I don't pretend to understand him," she said dismissively.

"You can tell me, you know," Travis said, hurt. " _I'm_ not going to go to the papers."

Vic's expression softened. "I know, but it's...truthfully, I  _don't_ really know -"

"But you suspect?"

She nodded. "My husband is allowed to be funny about things if he wants," she said with a dreamy smile. "We just need to work around it."

So that was how Travis found himself spending a fair amount of time over the next few months traipsing around houses on his days off. Vic tended to look at a bunch of places during the week (often with Travis trailing along), and she would narrow them down. On the weekends, she would take Lucas through them (often meeting up with Travis for a cycle or brunch afterwards).

Vic didn't seem particularly bothered by the fact that at successive weekend brunches, Lucas would present an itemised list of issues he had with every single property they'd looked at. Travis suspected she was enjoying this weird game they seemed to be playing. Instead, she smiled patiently at him, gently caressed his forearm, and kissed him. "We'll find somewhere, baby," she said.

[Travis tried not to show his ongoing amusement at the fact that Vic referred to her husband, the intimidating Chief of the Fire Department most commonly as 'Hubby' and 'baby'. It was nothing compared to when Lucas had let slip his pet name for his friend, however. The first time the solemn Chief had let the adoring syllables ' _Eggy_ ' fall from his lips, Travis had choked on his orange juice while Ripley had blushed furiously].

He was genuinely touched by the fact that they now considered him 'their' friend. Gibson occasionally teased him about being their third wheel but Travis simply smiled at him each time. He understood that their trust was not given to him lightly - but he also recognised that they needed him.

They didn't have many friends as a couple. As far as Travis could tell, it seemed to be really kind of limited to Ripley's sister, the manager from the diner, and Travis himself. Vic tended to speak of Frankel with a mixture of irritation and fondness, and so Travis suspected she wasn't really a friend as much a colleague. [Gibson was working on a friendship with Ripley, but Jack was kind of friends with Ripley and Vic separately].

Travis was 'their' friend, and it meant Vic felt comfortable talking to him about 'her husband'. And, in the week leading up to Vic's birthday, Ripley had called him and asked him to help him pick a present out for her. [It had been surprisingly entertaining, watching Lucas anxiously roam the shops for a good four hours looking for the perfect present for 'his wife', finally settling on some pretty earrings and a book Travis knew she'd been wanting to read].

Finally one day, nearly four months in to a house search that seemed doomed to last forever, it abruptly ended.

"I like _this_ house," Vic had declared, standing in the empty sitting room.

Travis wasn't quite sure what had distinguished the house from any other.

"It's pretty, it's blue, it has a nice large open plan kitchen, dining and living area," was the sales pitch at dinner that night (Travis had tagged along, curious to see Ripley's reaction). "Upstairs is the master bedroom and another two rooms - decent sizes actually. There's a small loft room - it's not quite a fourth bedroom - but I think you could use it as your office and an extra guest room if we need. We've got a smaller rumpus room area upstairs. It's got wooden floors downstairs, and upstairs we have carpet that looks pretty new. We'll have to repaint the kitchen and a highlight wall in the living room - it's a gross yellow colour - but otherwise it's a good size. There's a smaller backyard than we'd've liked, but it's decent enough."

Lucas looked a little taken aback. "Are there enough bathrooms?" he asked fussily.

"Ensuite for us, there's a proper bathroom upstairs and a toilet downstairs," Vic replied.

"Is there a deck?" he asked.

"Back deck, uncovered," Vic replied patiently. "And before you ask, yes, it's a double garage."

"It sounds like a big house," Lucas said dubiously. "Four bedrooms, two living areas just for the two of us - it's bigger than my house."

"If we decide we want children it will be the right size," Vic pronounced, waving her chopsticks around. "If we don't end up having children, then we can downsize."

Ripley looked at her for a long moment.

"You can say when," he said gently, only darting a quick glance at Travis. 

"It's still an _if_ ," Vic said, glaring at both men as if to dare them to contradict her. Travis shoved more of his pad Thai in his mouth innocently, while Ripley just nodded patiently, and pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek.

"I guess it's worth a look," Lucas said. "It just sounds too big for just two people."

Vic's shoulders slumped, and she put down her chopsticks with a heavy sigh. "Will you try?" she asked plaintively. "You know, it's nearly our anniversary, Lucas."

"We've only been married for -" Lucas cut himself off as Travis coughed indelicately. He went bright red. "Right. The other anniversary."

"It's just...it would make me really happy if by our anniversary, four months into our marriage, by the way, we could actually move in together," Vic said pitifully. Travis stifled a smile as she batted her eyelashes at her husband.

"Okay," he said in resignation. Vic grinned triumphantly at him, and kissed him rather more warmly than she usually did in front of Travis. When she pulled away, Ripley was visibly fighting a goofy grin, grumbling, "you didn't need to do that."

"The guilt trip or the eyelashes?" Vic asked, not bothering to pretend she didn't know what he was talking about.

"One or the other would have sufficed," he replied with as much dignity as it was possible to have when he'd been so thoroughly manipulated. Vic giggled.

"Doesn't have to be this house, my sweet hubby," she said soppily. "I just think we could be happy there."

"If you say 'we could be happy anywhere' or something equally pathetic, Lucas," Travis warned. "I will barf." The two of them laughed, and Vic stuck her tongue out at Travis.

* * *

Dean knew that things would change when Vic came back from her honeymoon. After all, she was married now,  with a ring on her finger that she kept playing with when she thought no-one was looking and a separate message tone for 'her husband'. She was also different. She was still the same old nosy, brash, cheeky Vic, but there was an undercurrent to her that had taken Dean a while to work out. Contentment, it turned out, softened some of her sharper, more annoying edges.

But, maybe as a consequence of Kat's article, she was also more withdrawn and private than she had been. Dean was reminded that Vic was the one who - outwardly extroverted - kept a lot close to her chest. And really, it was none of his business, except that she wasn't just a coworker or even a friend; she was like a little sister.

"You bought a _house_?" he asked over breakfast when Travis had spilled the beans by asking when they planned to move in. 

"Been looking for ages," Travis had said, oblivious to her glare. Dean glanced at Jack, who shrugged - he hadn't known either.

"Got the keys day before yesterday," Vic offered, but didn't elaborate much further beyond clipped responses to cheerful questions Irvington and Warren were asking like, _how many rooms_ (4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms), and  _how much work needed doing_ (not a lot)?

Vic caught him and Jack on their way out, Travis lurking behind her.

"Um, I'm heading over to the new house now," she said, looking strangely nervous and shifting from foot to foot. "Did you guys want to come see? Warren's got a thing with Tuck."

Dean and Jack glanced at each other and grinned. "Lead on," Jack said expansively.

"I'll text Maya and Andy," she said, pulling out her phone.

It was a nice blue house, half a suburb away from Vic's old place and closer to Dean and Jack's. "Quiet neighbourhood," Dean remarked, parking right behind Maya and Andy who were leaning on Maya's car. After a brief exchange of hellos to the girls who'd come from home - not working today - Vic headed to the side of the house.

"You sure you bought the house?" Jack said. Vic tossed a confused look over her shoulder at him. "We're ... going round the side? Not the front door?"

Vic laughed. "Actually, I don't have a key," she admitted, rounding the back of the house.

"And I've only just bought the new locks," the Chief's voice broke into the conversation. He was kneeling on the ground in front of the back door, screwdriver in his hand, looking very casual in old jeans splattered with paint and an station 88 crew shirt. He had a pencil tucked behind his ear. "Hi everyone. How was your shift?"

"Good," they chorused. He got to his feet and Vic immediately wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him quickly.

"Key for you," he said, handing over a shiny gold key. 

"Front and back?" she asked.

"Well, I've got this keypad lock for the back door," he said, gesturing to the ground nearby where it sat in its packaging. "I'm just removing the old lock - I'll need a drill to install the new one and I packed mine and I don't know which box at home it's in. Sully's on his way with his tools. I'll need his help upstairs anyway with the doors - although if I'd known the boys were coming I'd've waited." He turned to Dean and Jack and Travis. "You boys got tools?"

"I have a screwdriver set?" Dean offered. "And a hammer."

"I've got a drill but I lost the bits," Travis reported. 

Jack simply shook his head.

Ripley laughed. "Never mind."

"Good thing you called Sullivan," Vic commented with a wry shake of the head. "Do we need to replace the doors?"

"Don't think so," Ripley replied. "New hinges should do the trick." He glanced at the curious faces of the team, and explained, "got a couple of doors upstairs that don't close nicely."

"So it can sometimes be a hinge issue?" Maya asked, listening intently.

"Yeah," Ripley looked at their faces and chuckled. "What do you all do when you need to fix something up about the place?"

"Call my dad," Andy said. Maya pointed to her and nodded.

"Call Andy's dad and ask to borrow his tools," Jack offered.

Dean didn't say, 'call a handyman to fix it'. His parents had never fixed anything, and while Dean could put a picture up, he wasn't really able to do much more. (And truthfully, he usually used the stick on hooks instead). Ripley smiled and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud hello echoing down the side of the house.

"You are all so loud," Sullivan said in disapproval, carrying a heavy tool box. "Morning, Rip."

"Thanks, Sully," Ripley said.

"What happened to rule number two of moving, Luke?" their captain said disapprovingly. 

"I packed my tools and forgot that I only bought her a crappy screwdriver set and small battery-powered drill," he explained. "Completely my fault."

"Well, I'm free this morning until lunchtime," Sullivan said. "We had practically no calls overnight so I'm at your disposal."

"If I can borrow you to help with some doors that need new hinges upstairs," Ripley said. "And if you don't mind if I borrow these - the movers will be bringing my stuff tomorrow but until then..."

"And then you'll need to find them," Sullivan said with understanding. "Well, do you want to finish installing the lock first or -"

"Do the doors upstairs," Vic broke into the conversation. "There's nothing to steal here anyway. Plus, if you finish drilling and screwing and whatever up there, then I can clean upstairs while you finish putting the lock on, and then we can prime the kitchen before heading over to mine."

"I've cleaned downstairs, and primed already," Ripley reported. "So we have to wait for that to dry anyway - so we might even have time for the first trip over before the next coat's due."

"Good work," Vic said, grinning at him. He shrugged.

"I didn't finish taking apart the furniture yet though," he said with a slight yawn. "I did our bed, but not the bookshelf in the lounge. I just hope your dresser will fit in your jeep - it's not something that I can take apart and it won't fit in my car."

"Woah," Dean put up his hand. "I thought the movers were doing the work tomorrow?"

"For Luke's," Vic said. "My apartment's so small and we didn't want to get movers on two days, so we're just going to move my apartment ourselves."

"Her apartment has all the important stuff anyway," Ripley added.

"Okay, I'm officially hurt," Travis said. "Guys. We'll help."

"We can't ask you to give up your weekends -" Vic started.

"S'what friends are for," Dean cut in. "Of course we'll help." He paused, eyeing them both. Vic looked surprised and a little sheepish, and Ripley had his customary unreadably neutral face on. "You don't have to do things alone, you know. We all came to your wedding to support you, why wouldn't we support you two with something like this?"

"For just the small price of pizzas and beer," Jack drawled. Vic actually teared up, and Dean watched as Ripley automatically reached a hand to the small of her back. 

"Well, I think we can manage pizza and beer," Ripley said tightly. "Thanks."

And that was how Dean ended up spending a Saturday morning learning how to fix doors that stick and install a lock. He and the rest of 19 then headed to her apartment to cart Vic's already boxed possessions and furniture into their new house. When they returned from the second trip from Vic's house, Ripley had moved on to painting the kitchen, standing on a ladder and singing along to - of all people - Rihanna when they walked in.

The time flew - Vic's apartment was up a relatively narrow set of stairs, and being all millennials, they lost about half an hour to hysterical laughter when Andy simply hollered 'PIV- _OT_ ' up the stairs. (Sullivan stood there looking nonplussed as his team fell over themselves laughing, nearly dropping Vic's dresser).

They helped to unpack Vic's kitchen gear while she put together their bed, before coming downstairs to help direct the unpacking.

"Could we maybe swap the couch around to face that wall?" Vic asked, wrinkling her nose. "Then we can watch TV while we cook," she said, almost apologetically, but Ripley had already shrugged and lifted one side of Vic's couch. Dean picked up the other side, and the two men turned it 180 degrees. Vic pursed her lips, and without prompting, Ripley picked up one side of the TV cabinet.

"Just put it a good foot or so away from the wall - it's not dry yet," Ripley said as the two men moved the cabinet into the new space. As they set it down, the doorbell rang.

"PIZZA!" Jack hollered. Ripley laughed, watching the younger man race to the door.

"You'd've thought he was three, not thirty," Dean said, shaking his head at his housemate, as everyone congregated around the kitchen island. [Vic's dining table, built for four, had been sold. Apparently Ripley had a bigger dining table, capable of seating six people, so they'd opted to keep that one].

"I don't think Gibson's the sort to ever fully grow up," Ripley murmured, and it was Dean's turn to laugh.

"Thanks for helping, guys," Vic said, as everyone reached over each other for pizza.

"All good," Maya said around a mouthful of pizza. "It's a really nice house."

"Yeah, you guys did well," Andy added.

"Shame about the clunker in the garage," Dean couldn't help but say. Ripley shot him a hurt look.

"That  _clunker_ has served me well for the last twenty years," he said defensively. "It's a good car."

"It was second hand when you bought it, right?" Vic asked, reaching for another piece of pizza.

"I didn't think you minded my car," he said to her. Vic rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't, darling," she said. "My car's more than able to provide the horsepower. We hardly ever use yours because either you've got the work vehicle or we use mine." Ripley looked vaguely offended.

"I mean you've got the jeep," Travis interjected, pointing at Vic. "If you're not using the landrover much anyway, you guys could get a nice car too."

"You guys could get like a sports car," Andy said enthusiastically. "Besides, your old land rover's not red. I feel you guys have a theme with your red cars."

"Do I have to point out that the colour scheme of B15 was up to the SFD, not me?" Ripley remarked.

"Yeah, but the land rover doesn't exactly fit with the other vehicles," Travis said, cheese dripping as he waved his slice in the air.

"A sports car wouldn't be the worst thing in the world..." Vic mused, munching on her slice.

"I'm not getting a new car! We don't need one, and besides, we just bought a house," Ripley said.

"Come on, everyone deserves a mid-life crisis!" Travis said.

"I thought _Vic_ was the mid-life crisis," Jack joked, and Dean wasn't the only one who winced. Ripley's expression suddenly became unreadable again, but Vic simply narrowed her eyes and smacked the back of Gibson's head.

"Ow!" he protested.

"I'm a better mid-life crisis than you can ever hope to have, Gibson," Vic said, wrapping her arms around Ripley's waist and tilting her head up to peer at him through her eyelashes. "Right, hubby?" Ripley rolled his eyes at her, but relaxed in her arms.

"We are not getting a sports car," he said instead, his arm creeping around her waist in turn. She sighed in mock-disappointment, before stretching up to kiss him.

"Oh well," she said, letting go of him with one arm to reach for another slice of pizza, glancing into the living room as she did so.

"You preferred it the other way around, didn't you?" Ripley asked quietly. She made a face, but nodded. 

"It feels a bit...it interrupts the flow to have it like that," she said, looking at him for agreement.

Ripley shrugged. "Miller and I will change it after we eat," he said easily.

* * *

Things were better with Andy, now, but Maya suspected it would take them years to recover the friendship that they'd had. And so, Maya guessed it was probably natural for her to turn to Vic as Vic was her next-closest-female friend but she was still a little surprised by it.

She and Vic... _hung out_. Not often. But often enough for Vic to be the person Maya needed to talk to right now. Maybe it was because Gibson - somewhat unexpectedly - had become friends with Ripley. It was certainly at least partially because Vic was the only person Maya knew who was settled down (she didn't include Warren. Going to Warren for relationship advice only got you a two-hour treatise on the joy and difficulty of being married to Miranda Bailey whereas Vic didn't talk about 'her husband' much except to Travis).

Maya had shredded two paper napkins by the time Vic arrived at the cocktail bar, dropping her bag over her chair with a breezy apology.

"Sorry, I was all set to be dropped off and then he got called in and I had to order an Uber," Vic explained. 

"It's okay," Maya said. The younger woman was only five minutes late, and it wasn't exactly Vic's fault Maya had arrived fifteen minutes early. "How's the new house?"

"Good," Vic beamed. "We've finally finished unpacking. Jack's informed him that we need to have a housewarming party."

"He mentioned he was going to suggest that," Maya replied with a strained smile. Jack had mentioned it ... right before saying that they should move in together.

Vic tilted her head, clearly about to ask, when the waiter interrupted. They each ordered a cocktail, and agreed on getting some spring rolls to share.

"Okay, spill," Vic said, leaning back in her chair as the waiter left. Maya flushed.

"Jack said we should move in together," she said after a moment, staring down at the table.

"Okay," Vic prompted after a few moments. Maya looked up at her helplessly.

"Isn't it way too fast?" she asked desperately. Vic laughed.

"You're talking to a girl who got married after eight months," she pointed out gently, twisting her rings around her finger with the dreamy sort of smile she got whenever her marriage was brought up. "You need Travis. He made the point to me - several times - that we'd known each other for only a short period of time blah blah blah. "

"Can you - like, don't take this the wrong way, but," Maya floundered, trying to work out how to word her question.

"I don't regret a second," Vic said. "I  _love_ being married. To him. Specifically to him." Her smile turned wry. "And it's only gotten better so since we actually moved in together."

Maya smirked. "You really did do it all a bit backwards," she said, thanking the waiter as he set their drinks down. She took a fortifying sip of the alcohol, before saying, "it's just, you and Warren and Montgomery were all really  _sure_ about your spouses. I'm just...not."

"He's asked you to move in together, not marry him," Vic pointed out gently.

"But moving in together is saying here, we're committed to each other," Maya said.

"You've been exclusively seeing each other for, what, five or six months now?" Vic said. " _Despite_ all that weirdness about Dean dating your ex."

"Yeah but...moving in feels...like, at the moment, I'm seeing what it's like to be in an exclusive heterosexual relationship," Maya said. "And so far, I think it's ... you know, I like Jack and I care about him and we have really hot sex, but that's kind of ... where I'm at. I'm not like you, Mrs Ripley -" her friend beamed, and Maya rolled her eyes. "See you get that  _look_ every time he's mentioned and I don't...feel that."

"Is this to do with the fact that he was going to propose to Andy?" Vic asked. Irritatingly astutely.

"He proposed to Andy at about this point in their relationship," Maya admitted grudgingly.

"Okay," Vic said. "So I mean, I think you need to sit down with him and have an honest discussion about what level of commitment you are investing. Because I'm guessing - from what you're saying - that if you two moved in together and then he proposed, you'd be saying no."

"The thought of marriage makes my skin crawl," Maya said. "No offence."

"None taken," Vic said. "You're ... you've always had different opinions on sex and love," she hesitated before asking, "do you love Gibson?"

"Yes, but not...like, it's not this overwhelming thing, it doesn't take up my ..." she felt like an idiot and a horrible person as she said, "it doesn't take up my whole heart or anything. It's not all consuming like you and Ripley - the way you two look at each other -"

"Stop comparing your relationship to mine," Vic interjected. "Don't ever compare your relationships to someone else's - you don't know what goes on behind closed doors."

"Right, the two of you fight like cats and dogs," Maya said sardonically. Vic blushed. "Sure, in public-public you guys are hands-off, but you are all over each other when it's just the original team, so I can only assume when it's just the two of you that you fuck like rabbits." Vic's blush deepened but she also somehow looked incredibly smug.

"Point is, though," Vic said primly. "You're not me, Jack's not Lucas. So, decide based on how you feel about him."

"I am not ready to live with someone like that," Maya said slowly.

"Four months in, I think that's very reasonable," Vic replied. "It's not as simple as just living together...there's financial issues too, and those can get complicated."

Maya bit back the question, but Vic saw it and rolled her eyes.

"It actually only really became an issue when we started talking about buying a house," she explained. "My husband owns his house outright, so there was never a question of mortgage repayments initially. But we bought a really nice house that we can only afford because of him- I can't afford 50:50 on our repayments. And Luke was insistent that I have independent finances, which I think is stupid, but he doesn't put his foot down about much so..." she shrugged. "60% of my income goes into a joint account we both have access to, and the rest is a separate account."

"How much does he put into the joint account?" Maya couldn't help but ask.

"All his income," Vic rolled her eyes. "Anyway. We were talking about you and Gibson, not my husband's ridiculous insistence on me planning for some hypothetical possibility he might at some point become a controlling freak I might need to get away from."

"I don't want to break up with him," Maya said. "I just don't know if I'm ready to live with him."

"Take your time deciding," Vic advised. "It's not a decision that should be rushed. And don't feel bad about making that time - Gibson has to respect your pace."

"Yeah," Maya sighed. Vic had at least made her feel better about not having an answer for Jack. She changed the subject. "I need to tell you about this call from the other day..."

A couple of hours later they were both pleasantly drunk and giggly, having had more alcohol than was probably wise with the minimal food they'd had.

"I liked this cocktail," Maya said with a yawn, tilting her glass. "Remember it."

"Yes, ma'am -" Vic was cut off by a message tone, and she immediately reached for her phone, a smile spreading across her face as she read it. She glanced up at Maya. "My husband's just finished at the scene and was asking if we wanted a lift home rather than catching an Uber?"

Maya yawned again, looking at the clock. "It's late, I'm pretty well done drinking," she said. "But I was going to suggest getting food somewhere? I feel like something -"

"Greasy?" Vic nodded in agreement, then pressed call on her phone. "Hi, baby. We're done drinking but we want some greasy takeaway. How would you feel about hitting a drive-through?" She grinned. "You're my favourite person. Love you." She hung up. "My husband was planning on grabbing something to eat too - he's hungry as well."

So Maya found herself sitting in the backseat of the Chief's car, watching one of her best friends do an admirable job of shoving her tongue down his throat.

"Hi to you too," the Chief said breathlessly when they pulled apart. "How drunk are you, sweetheart?"

"Pretty drunk," she said cheerfully, sitting back into her seat and buckling her seat belt, before twisting around. "Where shall we go, Maya?" she demanded, before suddenly twisting back - half falling over Ripley's shoulder as she drunk-whispered loudly, "awww actually I want the eggy thing. Can we take Maya there?"

"I don't mind, but it's not exactly super greasy food," Ripley said patiently, indicating to pull away. "Sit down properly, honey."

"What would you say about going to our diner?" Vic twisted back to talk to her, and Ripley sighed melodramatically, turning off his indicator. "It's not too far from here and it's...well, some of the food is greasy, the coffee's lukewarm, the bagels are stale, but the service is amazing." She sounded suddenly sad as she continued, "but we can just go to a drive through if you prefer."

"It is a sit down diner, so it'll take a bit longer so if you need to go home..." Ripley cut in patiently.

Maya didn't hesitate - as far as she knew, even Travis had only been once to The Diner, and she knew it was a pretty big honour to be asked to go there by them. "Of course, diner sounds great."

"Yay!" Vic clapped her hands, turning again to Ripley. "DINER DINER DINER let's go."

"When you're sitting properly in your seat," Ripley said in amusement. Vic promptly spun back around, sitting properly in her seat, reaching a hand out to rest on his thigh. He took her hand, and indicated to pull away again. 

Maya hadn't exactly been sure what to expect of the infamous diner - after all, the manager had scored an invitation to their wedding when practically nobody else had. It ... was just a diner; the kind she wouldn't have looked twice at if driving past. Ripley pulled up, and Vic and Maya got unsteadily out of the car.

"He's just undressing," Vic said, when Ripley didn't follow them immediately. Maya frowned, about to ask what she meant, when he stepped out of the car. He'd ditched his jacket, tie, and pins - leaving him in a standard white shirt. He rolled his sleeves up before locking the car. 

"I don't like being in public wearing the uniform off-duty," he explained to Maya as Vic wrapped her arm around his waist. "Particularly if we're together."

"People stare," Vic said sadly. "They kind of stare anyway, but they stare more if he's in uniform."

Ripley kissed the top of her head. "Come on, wife," he said affectionately. "Let's get some food into you."

Maya trailed behind them into the diner. The interior was nice. Clean - which was more than she could say for some diners. Ripley and Vic settled into one side of a booth, and Maya slid in opposite them. Ripley caught her eye with a half-embarrassed, half-amused smile (with just a hint of smugness) as Vic practically clambered onto his lap.

"She's a bit cuddly when she's drunk," he said apologetically. Vic pouted in mock offence. 

"I can go cuddle with Maya instead..." she threatened. Ripley laughed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and squeezing.

"Not complaining, wife," he assured her. "Just apologising to Maya if we make her uncomfortable."

"Good," she said, kissing his nose. Then his jaw. Before looking at Maya. "You're not uncomfortable right? Travis doesn't mind."

"Travis is just glad he's no longer your cuddle victim," Ripley corrected. Maya laughed.

"No, it's fine," she said. "Vic's such a cute drunk." Ripley grinned sappily, and kissed Vic's temple again. 

"Hey guys," the redheaded manager Maya recognised from their wedding smiled at Vic and Ripley.

"Hi Cam!" Vic chorused. "I will have -"

"Sorry, Cam, Bishop will need a menu," Ripley interrupted, pointing to her. 

"Oh, sorry, of course!" the young man exclaimed. "I didn't think. One second." He returned quickly with a menu which Maya took.

"Can I have the eggy thing please Cam?" Vic practically demanded. 

"Okay," Cam sounded amused, and Maya glanced up to see him glancing askance at Ripley.

"These two ladies went out drinking," Ripley said. "I suspect my wife hasn't eaten anything tonight -"

"We had spring rolls!" Vic objected.

"Hours ago," Maya said, her head starting to spin.

Cam smiled. "And you're on taxi duty, Lucas?"

"Got it in one," he replied. "Can I get a decaf latte please? Still water for the table and I'll grab the classic chicken bagel -"

"And fries!" Vic added.

"What's the greasiest thing I can have?" Maya asked. Cam grinned.

"Well we can do bacon and eggs for you," he offered. "With extra grease."

"Sold," Maya offered him the menu back. "I'll also grab a decaf black please."

"No problem," said the younger man. Their drinks arrived quickly, and Maya noticed in amusement that Ripley kept filling Vic's glass up with water. 

"Need to pee," she pronounced after about five minutes and two full glasses of water. She kissed Ripley's cheek before sliding out of the booth.

"She'll have the worst headache when she wakes if she doesn't drink up," Ripley said, before giving her a significant look. "As will you."

Maya smiled, but took a sip of water anyway. "What was it?" she said, alcohol making her bold.

"What was what?"

"What was it about Vic? I'm sure other firefighters have tried."

"She's the only -"

"Yeah yeah," Maya waved her hand. "I know. Why  _her_?"

Ripley looked a little taken aback. "I mean. You know her. She's funny and smart and sarcastic and pretty and -"

"I'm not asking why you fell in love with her," it was too late to back out now. "I'm asking why you slept with her that first time. Because you can't have been in love with her then."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Because she apologised to me for yelling at me the second time," he replied after a long moment. "And I thought I wanted to get to know this woman who will yell at her boss on two consecutive occasions, and only apologise for one of them. And apologise because she could see she had hurt my feelings by yelling at me that time." He paused again, shrugging a little sheepishly. "And she seemed interested and is super hot."

Maya laughed, just as Vic slid back into the booth, pressing against Ripley who put his arm back around her. "Whatcha talking about?" she asked.

"Why I slept with you the first time." 

"Because I'm _super_ hot?" 

"Yep," Ripley popped the 'p' and kissed her forehead.

"Why'd you sleep with him?" 

"He's super hot," Vic said with a yawn, resting her head on his shoulder. "And I guess maybe because at the peer group thing I realised he was actually super sensitive and sweet and caring."

"Shhh!" Ripley said jokingly. "I have a reputation to maintain."

"Yes, you're so scary, Lukey," Vic said patronisingly, patting his stomach. Their food arrived, and it was greasy and a bit gross and wonderful. 

As she ate, she watched them. Vic was clearly starting to sober up, but she remained where she was - curled into his side.

On the one hand, there was an appeal to the idea of a reliable source of what she suspected was very good sex (there was no way that Vic wasn't getting some tonight; unlike Maya who knew she would be stumbling in to her empty bedroom, Dean and Jack having gone out themselves). On the other hand...there was a predictability to their rhythm (evident in the way that he anticipated her stealing his chips) that made Maya's skin itch. She'd never seen herself as having that kind of relationship.

And she didn't want that kind of relationship now. Not yet, and maybe not ever. Just looking at Vic and Ripley and imagining that as herself and Jack made her feel claustrophobic.

* * *

  _Hey guys_ , Vic's text to what Ben considered the original 19 group read.  _Gibson's been bugging us to have a housewarming so....not next Saturday but the Saturday after? From say 1800? We'll do dinner and we'll have beer/wine but all else is BYO. Just this group + Sullivan is all we're inviting._

He felt a little awkward. Ben understood Vic's anger at Kat, and he got that Irvington was new, but it was pretty clear that she was deliberately excluding them; not just from the housewarming but even from conversations about her personal life. 

"Irvington's a nice guy," he said quietly, sidling up to her one day as they cleaned the engine. "And you know Noonan feels bad about the article." 

Vic shot him a sharp look. "Got nothing to do with the article," she said shortly.

"Really? Because you didn't seem as tense about this before," Ben pointed out.

Vic sighed, turning to face him. "Look, if I invite the original team over to my house for a housewarming party you're coming to see  _my_ new house. Whereas people who I don't know as well aren't that interested in seeing it my house, but seeing my husband's house..."

"That's a little harsh," Ben said gently. Vic shrugged.

"Maybe," she said. "But until I know them better, I don't want them near my husband. He's not a spectacle or a novelty item. He's my  _husband_."

"Okay," he backed off, adding jokingly, "I'm glad you trust me with coming near your husband."

Vic smiled at him. "Obviously Miranda and Tuck are welcome. Callum's down that weekend and we have Super Mario Smash Brothers and Mario Kart and a few other games like that - but equally if they're busy or Tuck thinks he might get bored that's cool."

Ben grinned. "I think Tuck will see it as an excuse to get out of homework," he replied lightly.

As he turned to walk away, Vic spoke up again. "It's me, by the way.  _I'm_ the one not inviting them. Lucas doesn't mind."

"I didn't think he did," Ben replied.

And so two weeks later he, Miranda and Tuck all headed to Vic's new house. He'd never seen her apartment, actually, but he knew from her conversations with Travis that this must be a much larger house.

"It's really nice," Miranda exclaimed as they walked in. "It's very classic."

They followed the noise to find the rest of the team, along with Ripley's sister and her kids, all hanging out in a large open plan living and dining area. Tuck and Callum and Ripley's niece immediately ran off to the TV, reaching for controllers, and within no time at all, the sounds of Super Mario Smash Brothers filled the air.

Meanwhile, Travis immediately volunteered to take them on a tour of the house. "Anyone would think you live here," Maya said in amusement as he started leading Ben and Miranda away. Travis stuck his tongue out at her, and led them around the bedrooms upstairs.

It was all cozily furnished, and Miranda - on going back downstairs - immediately launched into a discussion about interior design with Vic (as it turned out, that was an interest they had in common). Ben extricated himself as soon as he could from the conversation, and instead nursed a beer as he wandered around.

One living room wall was covered in photos arranged in the shape of an x. In the centre was a picture of Vic and Ripley that had obviously been taken on their wedding day - they had their arms wrapped around each other's waist and were smiling into the camera. Above and to the right was a framed photo of the two of them sitting in a booth (presumably at this diner of theirs) where they were wearing casual clothes and didn't seem to have noticed the photographer, smiling instead across the table to each other. Down and to the left of the central photo was one of the two of them wearing harnesses and opened parachutes, grinning wildly and giving the camera thumbs up.

Whereas the photo above and to the left was obviously of Vic's family. Ben peered closer; he'd never seen a photo of her parents before - or her brother for that matter. It was clearly quite an old photo - Vic looked to be a bit younger than Tuck in it, and she looked adorable in pigtails and overalls. Down at to the right of the central photo was - in a nice balancing measure - a photo of Ripley and  _his_ family, obviously taken when Ripley had been in high school.

He couldn't help but think it was nice that these two had found each other; he knew Vic's parents were dead and her brother was in the marines (and not home often) and he'd overheard Ripley mention that  _his_ parents had died when he was quite young. So it felt kind of ... sweet that they were creating a new family, while still remembering those they'd lost.

Later, Ben would think it was one of the best housewarmings he'd been to. There was plenty of alcohol, and about half an hour after they'd arrived, Ripley and Sullivan had come into the house from the grill outside with a whole bunch of grilled burgers and sausages. Vic had pulled salads and hamburger rolls out onto the counter, and they'd all enjoyed a greasy hamburger night.

Everyone had been surprised to learn that Sullivan had a hidden talent for Super Mario Smash Brothers - the only one who could conceivably challenge Callum and Tuck. Meanwhile, Andy and Ripley's niece Maddie had been clearly the best at Mario Kart (to the teenagers' dismay).

Ben was ducking into the kitchen to put away his plate when he overheard Ripley say, "you were right, Vic."

"About?" Vic glanced up from wiping the benches to look at her husband, who was elbow deep into the dishes.

"This house," Ripley replied, taking the plate Ben offered him. Ben turned and walked away, but slowly, interested in the conversation. "I think...I think it feels happy too."

Vic's reply was so quiet Ben had to strain to hear it, half turning so he could keep them in his peripheral vision.

"I love you," she said. "And we can fill any house with happiness and love."

"I love you too," he watched Ripley lean in for a sweet kiss. "And don't let Montgomery hear you say that or our house will be full of happiness, love, and vomit."


	37. 525,600 Minutes

Jim Irvington had been with SFD for about nine years. It was long enough to know of Ripley well enough to be surprised that he had been having an affair with a junior firefighter (or at least, surprised the Chief had been _caught_ having an affair) but he wasn't high ranked enough to really be interested or invested in it. After all, he'd only seen Ripley in person a few times, and never done much more than shake the guy's hand. Nor did he really care (to his wife's dismay, his wife finding the whole thing very interesting and romantic).

Still, he was kind of intrigued when he got assigned to her shift. (His wife was overly excited by the prospect, fascinated by the whole thing, and demanded details).

He'd met Hughes before, at shift changeovers and worked with her once on an overtime shift she'd done. His initial impression of her was that she was really young and loud. Meeting her for a "second time" after she returned from holidays, she still seemed young and loud, and given the ring on her wedding finger, Jim had to assume impulsive at the least and foolish at the worst.

Eloping with the (significantly older, twice divorced) boss? Not the smartest idea in the rule book.

What  _was_  a little weird was that she didn't talk about him. Not really. And what was interesting was how the other men on their shift helped her maintain a very clear distinction between Chief Ripley at work and 'Vic's husband'. 'Vic's husband' was never named (as if he and Noonan had no idea who he was).

For example, when Gibson encouraged Noonan to go to the peer support group as she was having trouble sleeping, he said, "it's something Chief Ripley often attends, and he encourages people to go. I've been a few times, and while I think the Chief is definitely one of the best facilitators, even when he's not there there's good support available from others."

Whereas, when Montgomery asked (quietly) one morning whether or not Hughes was still free to go cycling, he asked, "you and your husband still up for a ride around the lake tomorrow morning?"

His wife was bitterly disappointed at the lack of gossip Jim brought home, but he was starting to feel a little sympathetic towards Hughes. As they worked together more, he realised that while she was young and somewhat gung-ho, she wasn't rash and she had a surprisingly dark and dry sense of humour.

"You'd like her, Maggie," he said to his wife. "She's a spitfire, but fun. Whereas Noonan is green - and that's not her fault - and timidly quiet not thoughtfully quiet."

Two months in, they had a team dinner on a night off at a family friendly restaurant that meant that they could bring their twenty-month old son along. Maggie was disappointed that 'Vic's husband' couldn't make it ("I'm just so  _curious_ , Jimmy, he looks so serious and you've said Hughes is anything but") but enjoyed meeting the team. 

It was four months in before he saw Vic interact with the Chief at work. It was brief and unexciting to Maggie's disappointment. He and Hughes were coming in from the barn when Ripley and Sullivan walked out of his office.

"Hi Chief," Vic said easily.

"Morning, Hughes," he replied with a professional nod, before his gaze came over to Jim. "Irvington."

"Sir," Jim replied. Vic was already halfway up the stairs to the Beanery. Ripley simply gave him a bland smile, and turned back to Sullivan, effectively dismissing him. By this point, Jim knew better than to say anything. He'd watched Noonan (poor, curious Noonan) ask questions about the Chief, or about Vic, and watched how Vic just gave her a completely neutral smile and either ignored the question or replied flippantly.

"So you just let her pretend nothing had happened?" Maggie asked him incredulously when he updated her on Ripley Watch the next day.

"Well," Jim pointed out wearily. "Nothing did happen."

Maggie looked at him as if he'd gone mad. "They spoke to each other!"

"I imagine they do that," Jim sighed, before holding up a hand to forestall his wife's reply. "I'm tired, and you watch too many TV dramas."

Maggie narrowed her eyes at him. "You have no sense of romance, James Irvington."

"I swept you off your feet, didn't I?" he tried, only to receive a fond grin and a roll of the eyes. [Later, though, Maggie did come and cuddle up with him for a bit while he tried to sleep].

* * *

 

All too soon it was the end of the year, and time for the end of year parties, including the Emergency Services Ball.

Jim hated going to formal events. Whoever designed the formal dress uniform for the SFD had  _not_ had comfort in mind. But Maggie had been excited to attend - and truthfully, a night out with his wife minus the baby (the baby he  _adored_ but was so... _sleep-disruptive_ ) had a whole new appeal. 

"You don't have to wear the dress uniform," Maggie pointed out patiently, as she fiddled with an earring. "You can wear a normal suit. It says dress uniform optional."

"Yeah but most of the boys wear the dress uniform," Jim said. "The only thing worse than this thing is coming in something else and sticking out like a sore thumb."

"Okay," Maggie flashed him a too-sweet smile. "Then stop complaining, honey."

His old shift-mates were working that night, so Jim and Maggie were attending with C shift. Everyone was there, even Warren and his wife the surgeon.  

Jim winced as Maggie, with no sense of tact, frowned at Hughes. "I would have thought that your husband, as the Chief, would have to be here?" she asked.

Hughes' expression tightened, as it always did when 'her husband' was mentioned by someone in front of the group. "He is," she said briskly. "He's working. I would rather have a fun night."

Warren nodded. "Good idea," he said. "The hospital ball is always so boring because Miranda has to do so much handshaking and politicking - ow!" Everyone laughed as Dr Bailey hit him on the arm in partial offense, and the conversation moved swiftly on.

So nobody said a word when, on sitting down to dinner, Vic sat with them and the Chief sat at the high table with the acting Mayor (the Mayoral position had still not been officially replaced, as the former Mayor had pleaded not guilty to financial fraud and there was currently a series of court cases going on) and the Chief of Police, and other people in suits.

Between the entree and the main courses, a pretty middle-aged Asian woman scurried over to their table, balancing expertly on stilettos as she crouched by Hughes' chair.

"So  _this_ is the fun table you abandoned me for," she accused Hughes. Hughes grinned back at her.

"Um, this is Cindy, everyone," Hughes said. "Cindy, meet the rest of my team." She turned to the other woman. "Too much politics."

The other woman gave an exaggerated roll of the eyes. "Budget budget budget," she groaned. "That's all anyone wants to talk about - there was a brief five minute period where we finally  _stopped_ talking about the last one - and here we are talking about the next!"

Hughes simply grinned. "You're telling me. I don't understand half of it, but it's the only thing being discussed at the moment."

"Next year, darling, we should be each other's dates," the woman announced with a sigh. "That way I get to sit at the fun table, and our significantly more boring other halves can discuss budgetary issues to their hearts' delight." Hughes laughed.

"Sounds like a plan," she said. " _You_ explain that to your terrifying fiancee though. And brace yourself for the _scandal_."

"We'd be the hit of the society pages I'm sure," Cindy agreed dryly. "Anyway. I hope your husband has a quick speech, because otherwise I'll fall asleep during dinner."

"He's not planning to talk for long," Hughes sounded amused. "I'd be more worried about Ziegler."

(The whole table groaned. The Chief of Police was notorious for his sonorous voice and tendency towards  _long_ speeches). Cindy made a face.

"I've heard about him," she said darkly. "Oh well. Catch you later sweetie."

"Bye, Cindy," Hughes said.

Jim's jaw dropped as he watched the woman float away to one of the high tables, sliding in next to - of all people -  _Battalion Chief Frankel_. "Um, Hughes?" he asked, voice cracking slightly. "Is that... _Frankel's_ partner?"

"Yes," Hughes replied.

"See a lot of Frankel and her partner?" Gibson leaned forward to ask.

"No," Hughes replied. "That's the third time we've met - the last time I saw her was at our wedding. She's lovely, though."

"Opposites attract," Miller muttered below his breath. Hughes smirked at him.

The main course was delivered, and with it came the speeches. Ziegler spoke too long, as usual, and Jim didn't pay attention to his speech. Or to Ripley's, which was much shorter and seemed to mainly consist of thanking everyone for a good job and wishing them all a happy holiday season.

The party seemed to really get into full swing after dinner. The wine had flowed freely during the meal, and with the opening of the dance floor most of the room was up. Jim and Maggie twirled around the room happily. It felt like years had gone past since they'd been able to go dancing - since they'd had JJ, going dancing was a relic of the past. Eventually, however, Maggie announced her feet were killing her (Jim's feet were killing  _him_ and he wasn't the one in heels!) and so they made their way out of the dancing throng of other firefighters and policemen, all of whom were getting steadily rowdier.

They went to head back to the table to pick up Jim's jacket and Maggie's purse, but Jim pulled up on spotting the Chief sitting at their table. He and Hughes were deep in conversation, leaning in so they could talk above the loud party around them.

"Come on," Maggie rolled her eyes, tugging at his arm. "The Chief doesn't look like he bites."

Ripley and Hughes looked up as they approached.

"Evening sir," Jim greeted awkwardly. "Uh. Good speech."

He had the uncomfortable feeling that Ripley could see he hadn't actually paid attention as the older man gave him a wry smile before looking to Maggie.

"You must be Maggie, Jim's wife," Ripley said smoothly, standing and offering his hand to shake. "I'm Lucas, Vic's husband."

Maggie shook his hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you," she said with a smile. "Have a good night?"

"It was...productive," Ripley said with a slight sigh. "You two enjoy yourselves without the little one?"

"Yes sir," Jim nodded, picking up his jacket from the table. "Thank you, sir."

"Have a good night you two," Maggie said, and Vic wished them both good night. As they turned away, Maggie smirked up at him. "See, Jimmy," she said. "He was lovely!" Jim simply nodded, and was unsurprised when, as they passed the corridor to the restrooms, she thrust her purse at him and ducked away.

They joined the crowd of inebriated emergency workers outside who were all waiting for their rides. Maggie jabbed a sharp elbow into his ribs

"Ow," he said. She simply nodded her head to the right, and Jim glanced over to see two familiar figures.

"Aww," Maggie sighed, and Jim could only shake his head at her. Hughes and Ripley had their arms around each other while they waited for a ride, and she was wearing his jacket.

"Are you satisfied now?" he sighed. "There. They're acting couple-y."

"No sense of romance, Jim Irvington," his wife chided.

* * *

 

Christmas came and went. He was pleased to not be working on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve, but they were in for Boxing Day. The whole team was quiet that day, but in a nice way; everyone still seemed to be digesting the huge amounts of food they'd had the day before. It would have been a nice shift, except Gibson was in a foul mood.

[Jim didn't have to apply much pressure on Miller to find out what was going on. Apparently Gibson and his girlfriend, Bishop, had broken up - it hadn't taken Jim long in the job to work out why he'd suddenly been swapped to C shift, and in fact, he was more interested in why _Herrera_ junior had also been transferred from the shift than in Vic and Ripley]. 

It seemed a little harsh to break up over Christmas, and Jim said so. Dean shrugged.

"It's been coming for a while. He wanted them to move in together. She didn't feel ready; they've been fighting for weeks," the big man replied off-handedly. 

Gibson remained in a foul mood - everyone steering clear - for the rest of the shift. And when Jim met the team for New Year's Eve drinks, the younger man was scowling at the floor. Jim felt a rush of sympathy for the younger man, however, when he recognised Bishop and the rest of his old shift walk in to join them. 

He was busy chatting in the corner with Clark, his former fellow sergeant on A shift, when he noticed Ripley and Vic enter the bar. His old friend followed his gaze, raising his eyebrows.

"You must see a lot of the boss, then?" he remarked.

"Not really," Jim replied honestly. "Seen the guy at work once. Met him at team dinner another time - but they were at the opposite end of the table."

Clark nodded, raising his beer to his lips. "What's he like?"

"You sound like my wife," Jim accused.

Clark shrugged. "Hey man, it's not like I have any gossip myself!"

"Well he's quiet," Jim replied off-handedly. "Hughes does all the talking. At least while I'm around. She doesn't trust me yet, and you can't blame the kid for not wanting her private life splashed all over the papers."

"Too late," Clark said. "Anyway. How's the little guy?"

Jim beamed, eagerly telling his friend about JJ's second Christmas. This year, he'd been able to rip open his own presents - more or less (Jim had had to start them off) and had been more interested in the paper. [Maggie had glared at him when he'd suggested wryly that they might as well return the actual presents they'd gotten him if he was just going to play with the wrapping paper and boxes].

He couldn't help but notice that at some point, Ripley had joined Gibson at the bar, and the two men seemed to be having a quiet, intense,  _long_ conversation. 

"What's Bishop like?" he asked Clark abruptly.

"Disturbingly competent and competitive," Clark replied dryly. "She's ... kind of terrifying."

"She and Gibson broke up," Jim said.

"Ah, so that was why the shift change?" Clark followed Jim's gaze to the bar, and quirked an eyebrow. "Gibson and Ripley seem friendly. Is he Ripley's spiritual successor as the golden boy?"

Jim chuckled. "Dunno. Gibson's got great instincts though, would be surprised if he wasn't promoted soon."

"I assume they've done something with Hughes' chain of command, but I mean, it looks pretty bad if Ripley's promoting his friends," Clark commented mildly, nodding towards the bar. 

"The guy hasn't been promoted yet," Jim pointed out. "And look, he's not undeserving. But this is the first time I've actually seen him and Ripley talk. At that dinner Ripley just talked with Sullivan and with Montgomery. And he kind of has to be friendly with Montgomery, because the guy is Hughes' best friend."

Jim bit back the fact that he knew Gibson had struggled with PTSD and that Ripley seemed to be helping the younger man through it. Clark was a great guy, but he didn't need that detail.

As midnight hit, Jim counted down eagerly with everyone else, then yawned, and did the rounds [as it turned out, having a kid made staying up to midnight exhausting, and he kind of really just wanted to go home and sleep]. He shook hands with his old shift, and with his new shift.

He didn't spy Hughes. "Tell Hughes Happy New Year from me," he said to Montgomery instead.

The other man was drunk, and simply rolled his eyes. "She and her husband left a little while ago," Montgomery slurred. "You can tell her next shift."

As Jim walked over to his car - he'd been a little late, so he'd parked at the end of the carpark, he spotted a familiar red jeep. With a familiar couple next to it. He figured the Chief might not take kindly to him interrupting their little make out session to wish Hughes a happy new year, so he simply smirked and started his car.

[The two pulled apart sharply at the sound of an engine starting up, and Vic took a step back, releasing 'her husband' from where she'd pressed him against the passenger side door. Jim simply pulled away, figuring they'd hate it if he said something, even though if they were too uncomfortable to kiss in front of her coworkers they probably should have picked a less public place than the carpark].

* * *

 

They were quiet on the way back from the call. Hughes' knuckles were white over the steering wheel.

Jim had seen his fair share of bad EMT calls in nine years with the SFD. Train suicides were never good, and car accidents always had the tendency to turn incredibly messy. The bodies left after a fire were none-too-pretty either.

But he hated the domestic violence calls the most. Especially the ones involving kids. His skin crawled just thinking about it; wanting to hurt the person you loved was crazy enough, but how could you want to hurt a  _kid_?!

The only blessing in this call had been that SPD had gotten there before the kid had gotten any more hurt. (Physically, that is).

Hughes pulled into the barn, and the two of them wordlessly restocked before heading into the station. Jim wasn't surprised to see Sullivan standing outside his office, arms crossed.

"Sounds like we should debrief," the tall captain said sympathetically.

"Dad stabs Mom, she dies, goes after kid who high-tails it down the street, SPD get him before he gets the kid," Hughes summarised briskly, hitting the pertinent points but deliberately not fully describing the horrific scene. "It was unpleasant and messy. There, debrief done. I'd like some coffee and cake."

"Hughes -" Sullivan sighed.

"It's not any worse than any number of other scenes we've been to," Hughes replied tightly. 

Sullivan sighed, but nodded. "My door is open," he said awkwardly to both of them. Hughes nodded, turned, and bolted up the stairs.

"I'll try to talk to her later," Jim said quietly. Sullivan nodded.

"You can have the shift off, if you want," he offered.

Jim shook his head. "Nah. Better to work through it. Might ask my wife to drop by with my boy though for a hug."

Sullivan nodded. "That's fine."

The rest of the afternoon was thankfully quiet on the aid car. Hughes had scoffed some coffee and cake before disappearing into the gym and pounding on the boxing bag. Jim idly watched the news,

Just before dinnertime, Maggie arrived with JJ. His boy toddled over to him, and Jim scooped him up to hug him with one arm and his wife with the other.

"Thanks, babe," he said. Maggie knew better than to ask, and simply hugged him back for a long moment.

She pulled back abruptly, a familiar expression crossing her face.

"There," Jim pointed to the ladies, and Maggie raced into the bathroom. Whoever had called it morning sickness had grossly underestimated it - Maggie seemed to just be affected most of the day.

From experience, Maggie was going to be at least a few minutes, and Jim suddenly wondered whether Vic might like to give JJ a cuddle too.

"I think Vic could use a JJ hug too," he said to Miller who was sitting at the front desk looking bored. "Let Maggie know I'm upstairs when she comes out?"

Miller gave him a disapproving look.

"She's going to be a while," Jim said defensively.

"Sure, sarge," the other man said, waving his hand. Jim checked the gym - Hughes wasn't there. He headed upstairs, figuring he'd try the dayroom.

"She often reads in her bunkroom if she's upset," Gibson offered from the beanery, pausing in the process of chopping an onion. Jim headed back down the corridor, pausing in front of her bunkroom uncertainly. As he stood there for a moment, JJ fussing in his arms, he could hear low voices inside her room.

He knocked perfunctorily, and opened the door. "Sorry," he apologised immediately, stepping back. "I heard - I assumed you were talking with Montgomery -"

"It's okay," Ripley said with a quiet dignity despite the fact that the two of them hadn't quite sat up quickly enough to hide the fact that they'd been cuddling together on her narrow bunk.

"I just thought you might want a hug from JJ," he stammered awkwardly, and Hughes' expression softened.

"Thanks, Jim," she said. "That was really nice of you."

"I'll just -" he nodded his back towards the door. 

"No," Ripley ordered, already pulling on his second boot. "I ... better go anyway."

"Thanks, Luke," Hughes said quietly, and Jim awkwardly turned and headed out of the room as Ripley leaned in to kiss her.

"Anytime," Ripley said quietly. The two of them followed him out into the corridor, and then Ripley edged past him to hurry down the stairs.

"Um, Jim," Jim glanced over to see Hughes biting her lip awkwardly. 

"I didn't see anything," he told her firmly. He already knew that Ripley shouldn't have been there; he'd read the SFD conditions for their relationship. He hesitated, but decided to risk it, lightly teasing, "although, given you've already had a hug I don't know if you still wanted one from JJ."

She laughed.

"Don't tell Lucas, but JJ's much cuter to cuddle," she said with a grin, reaching out for JJ who went willingly into her arms. "Thanks, Jim."

"No worries, Vic," he replied. "Now, while you look after JJ, I might go see if Maggie's stopped vomiting yet."

She arched an eyebrow. "You abandoned your pregnant wife to vomiting?"

"I'm going now," Jim said defensively. "You women always gang up together." 

"With good reason," Hughes replied. "Go! I'll take this cutie to the beanery."

" _Don't_ let Gibson rile him up," Jim pleaded.

* * *

 

Jim had been unexpectedly touched when C shift had organised a party to celebrate his first year with them, and even more touched that they'd picked a restaurant that JJ could be brought along to. (He and Warren often commiserated about being the only older people on the team - the young ones often went out on the town together and while Jim would have liked to join them at least every now and then that was impossible with a pregnant wife and young toddler at home).

It felt properly like a family dinner. Warren had brought along Tuck - Miranda being on call had not come along. Gibson and Bishop had reconciled, and so Gibson had somewhat shyly and awkwardly brought her along. Ripley was there, but had made a point of apologising to Jim in advance, explaining he was also and call and might have to leave abruptly.

Sullivan cleared his throat as their drinks arrived.

"Just like to say to you all," he said gruffly. "It's been a good year. I'd like to thank Jim for fitting so well into our shift, and for all of you to adjusting to all the changes so smoothly. Cheers."

"Cheers," everyone echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you write down a word but it's not the right word  
> So you try a new word but you hate the new word  
> And you need a good word but you can't find the word  
> Oh, where is it, what is it, what is it, where is it?  
> Blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah, blah-ah-ha-ha—  
> \- Something Rotten (a musical about Shakespeare)


	38. Settling Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: PTSD and depression

Their first year of marriage wasn't easy.

Vic knew they got married too quickly, too soon. After all, they'd barely known each other ten months, and had gotten engaged in fantastically stressful circumstances. At times, it felt almost like they'd gotten married so that they could date each other without having quite the same level of scrutiny.

[And while she knew that that was true, that didn't stop her having a full-on screaming match over Skype with Mike, her brother who was deployed somewhere overseas. She'd last spoken to him at Christmas, and had told him that she was seeing a guy called Lucas...but he'd kind of gone nuts when she'd told him how dramatically circumstances had changed in a few short months].

She'd never really  _lived_ with anyone in this way before, and it had taken them more than a couple of months to adjust. Lucas, after all, had spent the better part of fifteen years living like a bachelor.

His messiness - when they were simply dating - had seemed endearing and kind of funny in how completely different it was from his projected Type A personality at work. When married to him, however, Vic found his seeming inability to make sure his clothes went  _into_ the hamper infuriating.

[Lucas' saving grace was the fact that as a bachelor for fifteen years, he was used to at the end of the week when he ran out of clothes doing a load of washing. And he always washed her clothes].

Eventually, they compromised, and Lucas' ...  _mess_ ... moved into the loft. Vic never entered the loft - it was his room of clutter and junk and it was his to clean as he pleased. They agreed that whichever weekend day Vic wasn't working was Clean the House Day. Vic would vacuum, and Lucas would mop.

Money didn't engender fights, exactly, just bickering. Vic wasn't used to having quite so much disposable income, and watching Lucas continue to acquire books (that he never had time to then actually  _read_ ) was frustrating in a weird way. It created an odd tension, because on the one hand she didn't want to say anything when realistically, it was his income that provided for their lifestyle, but on the other, it seemed like a waste of money.

[ _That_ eventually exploded when Lucas proudly showed her an old edition of a book he already owned twice; citing his interest in having an advance proof copy as well as the tattered paperback edition or the nice hardback edition.

" _How_ much did you spend on this again?" she'd demanded, and his eyes had widened in sudden concern].

They now had an agreement on individual discretionary costs per month, after Lucas had emphasised that he viewed his money as her money.

And then there was the personal space issue. Vic knew that to those outside their relationship, she was the extrovert and Lucas was the introvert. In actual fact, it was really kind of the other way around. Sure Vic was louder in company (Lucas was quiet, so quiet as to be almost mute with people he didn't know well like her new Sergeant and Noonan), but Lucas was really a thwarted extrovert.

Despite spending fifteen years living on his own, he  _constantly_ sought her company when she was home. Not necessarily to talk or interact, thankfully, but he liked just being in the same room and spending time together.

Whereas there was a reason Vic didn't have a flatmate. After twenty four hours of living with her coworkers and attending scenes with emotionally tiring interactions, she needed to go home and spend time in her own space. With peace and quiet. And  _no people_.

It took a while for Lucas to understand that, but once he did he nodded in sudden understanding. And so a third rule of their marriage was born; when Vic was journalling, that was her  _alone_ time. She often just sat there for far longer than she actually spent writing, relishing in the solitude. 

Despite that, her answer was easy and immediate when Maya asked-without-asking whether she had any regrets.

She didn't. Lucas was handsome, funny, sweet, charming, and increasingly her favourite person. The fact that they were married took a huge edge off her anxiety; it meant he was in for the long haul, and it meant that if she messed up (dropping his favourite mug) or if they argued, she didn't worry in the same way about him taking off.

[He occasionally did, in the middle of a fight, just say he needed to go for a walk. That was one quirk that took Vic the longest to adjust to as he walked out in the middle of a fight. But being married meant she knew he was coming back].

It took Dean's confused expression one night and his puzzled, 'does Ripley not mind you coming out without him?' for her to realise that most newlywed women didn't go out drinking with her friends without her husband. It wasn't all that often - once every month or so - but apparently often enough to be unusual.

Lucas had been more open than normal about it. "You go out with your friends as much as you like," he'd said. "I'll pick you up any time of the night from anywhere. But you know I can't quite be friends with most of your friends. I will have to recuse myself from anything related to promotions or disciplinary action for Travis as it is." Vic had known better than to ask about Gibson - she knew that her Lieutenant was not going to get promoted.

And she was sure that he wasn't quite as relaxed about her going out as he made out. He didn't talk about Eva much, but Vic knew it was a huge demonstration of his trust that he let her go when his second ex-wife had cheated on him early in their relationship leaving scars that had never quite fully healed. But he never said a word, and in return, Vic always made sure she went home around midnight; knocking back offers from her friends to crash at theirs. She knew Lucas wouldn't mind if she slept on Maya and Andy's couch, or Travis' couch, or even Jack and Dean's couch, but that wasn't the point. Vic wanted to go home to  _him_ , her  _husband_.

She had no idea exactly what Lucas had done or said, but all of a sudden nobody at work from another station said a word to her about him. Frankel's clear support of her helped.

Every day she fell a bit more in love with him.

And so, when their wedding anniversary finally rolled around and he brought home a gorgeously artsy bouquet of paper flowers and he lit up when Vic presented him with an advanced reader copy of his favourite book it felt like the year had flown past. They'd become less and less of a news item - it was hard to run multiple stories about happy newly-weds - and things settled into a new, entirely wonderful sort of normal.

* * *

Their first year of marriage had had the usual teething problems.

Not that Lucas told her that. It somehow felt indelicate to explain that the arguments over tidiness, money, and space were pretty normal for a couple that hadn't lived together before marrying. He was relieved when, in their second year, it felt like they were through it. He and Laura had made it through the first year pretty easily too, but in retrospect, it was clear he and Eva had never made it past the six month mark.

He couldn't blame her for having doubts. She was young, and had just married an older man very quickly into her first serious relationship. All that meant was that Lucas reiterated his promise to himself to make this work, whatever it took.

Vic lit up his world. It all felt so  _right_ and perfect and he made sure that he made her feel that way. He dated her, and made sure there was a series of reminders on his phones to make sure they'd spent time together and she felt appreciated and loved.

[It seemed to work].

He forced himself to communicate; fifteen years of solo habits dying hard, but it didn't take long for the first reflexive thought to any question was ' _how does this affect Vic?'_ Lucas never said a word when she wanted to go out drinking and clubbing with her friends, [ignoring the small, possessive and jealous part of his brain] but he appreciated the fact that she made a point of texting him where she was and always coming home to him by at least 0100.

[If she'd actually gotten properly drunk, she'd shower, crawl into bed, curl up on his chest and snore the night away in the most adorable fashion. He'd get less sleep on nights she was tipsy, as he would wake up to her hovering over him in bed, her teeth on his neck and her hand creeping down as she demanded sex].

It was somewhat of a relief to all three of them that Lucas and Travis genuinely got along. He liked the younger man, and was happy to call him a friend. It would have been awkward if they hadn't gotten along - Lucas hadn't quite realised how close the two of them were, and he was reminded again that they didn't necessarily know each other  very well.

But still, it meant a lot when halfway through their second year of marriage, after he made an off-hand comment about her best friend, Vic had put her fork down, reaching over for his hand.

"You know Travis is really my second best friend right?" she'd said softly. " _You're_ my actual best friend."

And damn if that didn't just melt his socks off.

* * *

During their third year of marriage, they finally went to the snow.

Vic had never skied before, and while Lucas was a good skier, they decided instead to both take snowboarding lessons. Lucas grumbled about spending the whole first day with his butt in the snow when he could've been on the slopes, but by the end of the third day, they were having fun doing the easier trails.

She hadn't really thought that snow-gear could be hot, but she was wrong. Lucas looked adorable in his little beanie, and stripping the layers of clothing off him was _incredibly_ sexy. He'd also, as promised, got them a little chalet with a fireplace and on the first night, while she was soaking in their hot tub to relieve the bruises and aches in leg muscles she never knew she had, he'd laid out blankets and pillows on the floor in front of the fireplace. There was definitely something to be said for watching his skin in the firelight as they moved together.

For some reason, it was this year that everyone seemed to stop looking at them as if waiting for them to get divorced. 

"You know, Lucas and I lasted just over two years married," Laura informed her as they had brunch with Cindy. "The divorce wasn't official until three years, but he'd moved out two years and one and a half months in. And his marriage to That Woman was over by the eight month mark."

"You're the leading wife," Cindy joked, before frowning at Laura. "You're not offended by that, right?"

"No," the other woman said. "As long as we all agree I'm second."

Vic laughed. "Poor Luke," she said. "I'll inform him of the order of wives."

"Don't poor Luke him," Laura said.

"He married three really hot women," Cindy agreed, and rolled her eyes at the look Laura gave her. "Look, I don't have to like the woman to admit wife number two was good looking."

Knowing the exact date his previous marriages ended made it clearer that something had shifted for Lucas, passing the two year and two month mark. It wasn't that he wasn't affectionate in public before, but he was just a lot more  _relaxed_. And he came to a lot more things with her friends.

[Not the drinking on the town nights, but then, Vic didn't really go out much anymore either. Her team-mates teased her for being old and settled down, and she now felt comfortable enough to retort that she'd rather spend time with her husband. Plus they were marathoning _Parks and  Rec_ at the moment].

But at dinner, Lucas would rest his arm along the back of her chair, talk a bit more to the others (not just to Sullivan, Gibson, and Montgomery) and generally was a bit more... publicly husband-y.

Vic hadn't realised he'd been stressed about it. She said as much to him one morning as they lay in bed.

"It wasn't a conscious thing," he said quietly, catching her hand as she stroked his bare chest. He twined their fingers together. "But it's nice to feel like ... like we're actually going to do it. I'm going to do it."

"Do what?" Vic asked.

"Spend the rest of my life with you," Lucas said, his eyes soft.

"Well, that was my plan all along," she pointed out, leaning in to kiss him. "Love you."

"Love _you_."

* * *

By the fourth year of their marriage, people were really starting to ask them when they were going to have kids.

The first time it was Cindy, and Lucas didn't really take much notice as he brushed her off. Cindy was...like that, at times. He was a little surprised that Deb cornered him at work to demand an answer. ["We haven't decided we want them yet"]. Kim, meanwhile, had been bugging him for  _years_ , ever since she found out he was seeing Vic, so he was used to a six-monthly matronly nagging that he was getting on in years.

He endured an entire five minute, excruciatingly uncomfortable conversation, with Mat Diaz as the other man talked about how it shouldn't be a 'pride thing' if you're having trouble conceiving.

"I would've thought three kids would be more than enough! Four just sounds exhausting," Lucas had said, before the other man had given him a look.

"I was...uh..." Diaz suddenly looked even more awkward, and Lucas cursed the blush that he could feel across his cheeks as he realised the conversation _hadn't_ been about Diaz Junior number four. "I mean, you two have been married, what, three? Four? years now and -"

Lucas had awkwardly stammered something about birth control and how they weren't trying before retreating to his office. It was awkward, but it didn't really bother him.

It  _did_ bother Vic.

"What, I'm supposed to get married and then pump out children, that's the natural order of things?" she said waspishly to him one night as they got ready for bed. "I just...felt a bit off, and Travis and Jim automatically assumed I was pregnant. And then there was a _conversation_ about children, as if my reproductive choices were any of their business."

"Hmm," Lucas agreed. He knew better - after three and a half years of being married to her - than to say anything when she was in this mood.

"Like, even if I were it'd be none of their business," she continued, climbing in under the covers. He reached for her, pulling her over into his side. "And it's -"

She stopped abruptly, and propped herself up on an elbow so that she could look at him directly.

"Do we need to talk about this?" she asked, biting her lip nervously.

"Talk about what?" he asked, eyes drifting to her lips.

Vic prodded him. "Children," she said.

"You asked me this before we got married," he reminded her. "My answer hasn't changed. Kids are fros-"

"If you resurrect that  _terrible_ cake analogy, Lucas Ripley," she threatened. Lucas chuckled, and wriggled down to turn on his side and face her.

"Okay then, honey," he said affectionately, letting a hand rest in the curve of her waist. "Let me put it this way. I am totally in love with you. I don't need anything to change; my life is fulfilling and complete. Your - how did you put it? - your reproductive choices are yours, and I will go with whatever you want." He paused. "I raised a teenager. It was a big commitment. You don't have to justify not wanting kids, and we never have to discuss the question again unless you want to."

Her expression softened and suddenly he was the very willing victim of a very fierce kiss. "Love you," she whispered.

Less than a week later, Lucas headed to meet her at a bar after work for drinks for Bishop's birthday. By the time he got there, they were clearly at least a round or two deep - at least, he deduced it as Vic flung her arms around him and from the way she tasted like the awful vodka she liked.

"Um, hi," he said as she finally released him. He purposefully ignored the blush travelling up his neck as he glanced over to a smirking Bishop and wished her a happy birthday.

"Thanks, Chief," she said, sipping her drink.

His second clue that they were probably more than a round deep into drinking came from Gibson, who almost-belligerently continued the conversation they'd clearly been having, "and I mean, I'm sure you want kids, right, Rip?" Lucas was taken aback and felt somewhat stunned into silence as the younger man continued, "I mean, cos neither of you are getting any younger - OW!" He rubbed the back of his head.

"You're an ass, Gibson," Vic snapped. "I'm going to help Travis with the drinks."

She vanished before Lucas could say anything, and so he simply met Gibson's gaze.

"What did I say?" he asked, and this time it was Lucas who smacked the back of his head.

"Ow!"

"Okay, I'm going to say this once," Lucas put on his Chief voice. "This is none of your business. It annoys Vic, and I don't want to hear her complain about you guys bugging her about it again. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," Gibson replied, looking somewhat abashed. "Sorry -"

"Apologise to her, not me," Lucas interrupted.

Vic and Travis returned with drinks, and he glared pointedly at Gibson. Gibson sighed, and took a deep breath, before quietly saying, "I'm sorry, Vic. I just ... I just think you guys would be amazing parents. But it's none of our business."

"Damn straight," Vic retorted, slipping an arm around Lucas' waist.

* * *

Their fifth year of marriage did not get off to a good start.

Mike's commission was up, and with barely any warning she suddenly had her brother on their doorstep. He might have been tall and muscle-y and (she tried not to think about this too much) a trained killer but standing on their porch on a rainy Friday he mostly just looked lost.

"I'm done with the army," he said as they sat in the kitchen sipping coffee. His eyes roved around the room, settling on the photographs of her and Lucas at Cindy and Frankel's wedding (they had had a photobooth) on the fridge. 

"What do you want to do?" Vic asked.

He shrugged. "I thought it might be nice to not have a plan," he said, a bit helplessly. "But after so many years of the army having a plan for me..."

"Well, you can stay here of course," she offered. He smiled at her.

Mike's vulnerable air vanished the moment Lucas stepped into the kitchen, and her brother glared at her husband.

"I'm Michael Hughes," he said, gripping Lucas' hand tightly. "Vic's big brother."

"Lucas Ripley," Luke replied casually, his amiable and blank smile firmly fixed to his face. (In retrospect, Vic should've put an end to the tension at that point).

Lucas didn't say a word about Mike's presence in the house for the next three and a half weeks. Every time Vic started to kind of apologise-without-actually-apologising he'd smile and brush it off with a simple, "he's your brother". Still, she hated the tense undercurrent that permeated the house for the next few weeks as Mike didn't bother to hide his dislike of Lucas and Lucas was nothing but his most excruciatingly, blandly polite politician self.

* * *

 

Mike knew he was drifting, but he just ...

well...

didn't he deserve a break anyway? After years of service to his country, working long, difficult hours far away from home he deserved to do nothing.

The prospect of civilian life had energised him for so long and now he was here it felt baffling and enormous and terrifying.

His world contracted. He slept. He bought an X-box and hooked it up to Vic's TV one day, and found himself spending his nights playing video games and sleeping most of the day. And he worked on a resentment and dislike for his sister's husband.

Mike had been unimpressed to say the least when Vic had admitted that the boyfriend she'd spoken about was actually her much older boss. Not just her boss, her boss' boss' boss. And had been even more dismayed when they'd gotten married within the year. [He'd made the mistake of voicing his assumption that it must have been a shotgun wedding - Vic hadn't spoken to him for months].

And now he'd met the guy in person he didn't trust him. Lucas was too-polite, no matter how much Mike tried to push his buttons. He didn't speak much, but  _constantly_ hovered around his sister who immediately seemed to drop any conversation when he walked into the room in favour of talking to Lucas.

Vic had taken him out to meet her friends - leaving Lucas at home. And her friends simply referred to the man as 'Vic's husband'. Vic's nameless husband. At midnight, Vic had glanced at her watch and announced that she needed to go home.

"So he sets you a curfew?" Mike had sniped, while her friends' eyes widened and they had all taken a sharp inhaled breath. Except for Travis who had laughed.

Fire crackled along her gaze. "No," she had snapped. "One, Lucas isn't like that, two, do you think for a hot second I'd stand for that?" 

"I don't know," Mike had bit back. "You're completely different to when I left -"

"You joined the army when I was nineteen, Michael," Vic retorted. "You were deployed overseas on stationed on the opposite side of the country for most of the fifteen years you spent in the service. So don't fucking give me that - of course I'm completely different. You can't seriously have expected to come home and for nothing to have changed."

They had bickered all the way home in the taxi, and Vic had actually slammed the door to her room when they'd gotten home. The two siblings hadn't spoken much since - helped by Mike's insomnia and by Vic's twenty-four hour shifts.

And Lucas and Mike had perfected orbiting each other on the nights Vic was working - they managed to exchange a grand total of eight unsupervised words in three and a half weeks.

Until one night, when Vic was working. Mike was playing video games on the couch, keeping one eye open on the door. His sister's husband hadn't yet come home, suspiciously enough. Sometime after 2230, the front door opened, and the other man stepped into the kitchen.

"What the fuck have you been doing?" Mike growled from the couch. He watched as Lucas turned slowly from the fridge to face him. 

"Sitting with the parents and the wife of two firefighters that died today," the other man's voice was cold as ice.

"Oh," Mike said inanely, the wind suddenly knocked from his sails.

"Yeah," the microwave beeped, and Lucas took his meal out of the microwave, walking over to sit next to Mike on the couch, forcing him to move over.

Mike awkwardly restarted his game.

"Obviously, I've never been in the military," Lucas said after a few minutes. "But I've lost colleagues to fire. Today wasn't the first time, nor will it be the last time. I'm used to the fact that every day my wife goes to work she's risking injury and death - not just from fires but from car accidents and patients hopped up on drugs. There's a lot of violence towards EMTs. And I don't know how I would've coped with any of that if I didn't feel like I had a direction or a focus."

"You trying to counsel me?" 

Lucas sighed. "I'm trying to get you out of the rut of just being awake at night and sitting on the couch playing video games. It's not good for you."

"And you want me out of your house," Mike guessed cynically.

"You're Vic's brother and so you have an open invitation to stay," Lucas said, a hint of steel in his voice. "But it's not unconditional. One condition, moving forward, is that you never, ever make her cry again."

"And another condition is that I get a job?" Mike avoided the accusation. Lucas laughed from next to him.

"I was going to start with getting your ass up off this couch," his brother-in-law replied.

* * *

 

Neither Lucas or Mike never told her exactly what had been said, but Vic was relieved to see the hostility gone the next day. Over the next couple of months, Mike seemed to slowly pull himself together, returning a little bit to the old, good-humoured brother she remembered hero-worshipping.

Six and a half months after landing on their doorstep, Mike moved out to an apartment around the corner, and had applied to the SPD. 

"You and your Jedi ways," she said fondly to Lucas as the two of them collapsed back home after helping Mike set up his new apartment. "You fixed him."

Lucas laughed, pulling her closer on the couch. "No, he fixed himself," he said. "I just gave him a bit of a kick up the ass."

"Thank you," Vic said, stroking his increasingly-grey beard. "For being cool with him staying for so long, and for helping him out."

"I kind of  _was_ just trying to get the house back to ourselves," Lucas admitted with a sly grin. "Now we can make out on the couch again."

Vic laughed, leaning in so they could do just that.

* * *

 

Six years in.

They were into their sixth year of marriage, and Lucas realised that his relationship with Vic was now the longest relationship he'd ever had (he and Laura had dated for three and a bit years before marrying).

He was inclined to consider this a great success.

His happiness about this was somewhat muted by the overwhelming exhaustion he felt.

Ever since he'd lost Reed and Gonzalez last year, most of the joy had gone out of his job. [It had been a freak accident, really, the two men had died in an aid car accident in the rain. But that didn't stop him from feeling old and responsible].

He needed a vacation. It had been years since they'd been away properly, so he and Vic booked to go away. They were planning on spending the first week with Jennifer and her kids visiting some of Lucas' mum's side of the family in Australia, and then he and Vic were going to go up to Cairns to snorkel on the Great Barrier Reef.

Unfortunately, their holiday was months away, and he could feel each day at work grinding away at his reserve. He kind of just...wanted to crawl into bed with her and hide away from the world forever.

"Is everything okay?" Vic asked him one morning as he made coffee while she sat at the island.

"Hm? Of course," Lucas deflected. Vic's face fell a little.

"You haven't seemed happy," she said after a few minutes. "Is there something...something that I can change?"

To his embarrassment, he burst into tears. Vic's expression immediately changed to one of alarm, and she got up and walked around to him.

"Luke," she said into his ear, wrapping her arms around him. "Baby. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, sniffling. "I'm just _tired_."

She drew back a little to look at him in concern. "Okay. Is there anything I can do?"

He shook his head. "You're perfect," he said as emphatically as he could. "I'm just...I need a break from work. I just..."

"Okay," she said gently. "Should you take some time off?"

"I can't," he groaned. "There's budget -"

Vic cut him off with a kiss. "I don't care," she said firmly. "You aren't yourself."

Lucas let her talk him into taking a couple of days off, and the two of them went on a little mini-break to a cute little B&B by the water. It helped, but not enough, and so, with a mix of shame and resignation, he made an appointment with his therapist. [He still saw Henry on a six-monthly basis, but their appointments had turned more into a scheduled catch up than any real sort of therapeutic visit].

The therapy helped, and Lucas tried his best to bury the exhaustion that still hummed under the surface as far down as he could. Slowly, after a few months, Vic stopped looking at him with such worry. Travis started coming by again for dinner, and they started going cycling with him again. [He had been grateful that she had instinctively sort of understood that he was spending so much energy to Look Fine at work that he had none left at home - and as much as he liked Travis, he wasn't willing to be that vulnerable in front of him]. She also started going out with her friends again, to his relief.

He'd tried to tell her she could go about things normally. Vic had simply given him a Look.

"If I'm tiring you, I will," she'd said carefully. "But when I'm feeling down or anxious all I want is to cuddle with you."

"Of course you don't tire me," Lucas had said immediately. Vic had kissed him softly and snuggled into him, graciously not saying anything about the fact that he immediately teared up. He held her tightly, her soft curves moulding against his body and her familiar, comforting smell soothing him. "I love you Eggy."

Towards the end of their sixth year of marriage, he tried to hide the nerves as they slid into their booth at the diner. They still came here, more out of habit than anything else. It was a comfortable environment, and they knew all the staff well. Cam had long since left to start up a photography business (but they had him over to dinner at their house every so often). 

But they usually came to the diner if they had something important to discuss. Vic had  _no_ poker face, and was chewing on her bottom lip, having tried, and re-tried to start a conversation a few times now.

"What is it, Vic?" he asked, reaching nervously for her hand, relieved when she immediately took and squeezed it firmly.

Maybe this was it. Maybe now was the time she said that she was sick of babying him, of looking after him, of -

"I didn't want to bring this up when you weren't feeling well," she said slowly, and his world felt like it was starting to crack into pieces. He swallowed hard.

Here it came. He just wasn't a good enough husband -

"I was wondering what you would say if I said maybe I wanted to have children," she said nervously, her hand suddenly holding his in a death grip.

Colour  _whooshed_ back into the world suddenly, and he could breathe again.

"With me?" he whispered.

"No, with Travis," she said with a familiar, exasperated bite. "Of course with _you_ , silly. I specifically want _your_  babies."

There was only one thing to do. He drained his coffee and stood pulling at her hand. "Luke, what -?"

"The sooner we get started, the sooner we can have them," he said. "Let's go."

Vic laughed, the sound warming his soul. "No, no, no," she tugged on his hand. "Sit down. You and I - we've rushed into everything about our relationship, and it's worked partly from luck and partly because -" she winced a little as she said it. "Because we're...right...for each other."

"Victoria Hughes, how romantic," he joked, putting his free hand over his heart and pretending to swoon. She giggled, and rolled her eyes.

"We can't rush into having children," she said firmly. "I don't want them to be too screwed up. I want us to talk about it, and decide how we're going to look after them -"

"I'll retire," he interrupted. Vic looked taken aback. "I said I would, years ago, before we got married. I'll retire and be a house husband and -" 

He was excited about the prospect, he realised.

"You love your job," Vic objected. "I can't have this be -"

"I loved my job," he interrupted. "I...don't hate it anymore but...you know this is my tenth year as Chief? I'm  _tired_ , Vic, and..." he hesitated. "I've been thinking of retiring anyway. Or stepping back. Or finding something else."

"I know you're still getting better, Lukey," Vic said gently, rubbing her thumb over his hand. "I don't...a child won't  _fix_ you. It doesn't work like that. You can't put your hopes on them like that."

 _That_ deflated him a little. "I know," he said after a moment. "And I know it's a little unfair to you, but you and this relationship have kept me going.  _You_ make me happy even though..." even though the world still felt grey. "Even though work's driving me nuts at the moment. Having children with you would just make me even more happy."

"Okay," Vic said. "But I mean it. We need to talk about this properly. What we want. How we want to parent. Make sure it's the right thing to do."

Lucas tried to keep his excitement in check, he really did, but there was no hiding that that conversation (which spread over  _hours_ in the diner) about their children was like out of a dream.

* * *

Travis was just starting to get worried as he rang their doorbell for a third time. Usually if he was coming to dinner the front door was left unlocked for him, and he just walked in.

He was on the verge of heading around the back and using the keypad entry when the door was abruptly opened by a breathless Vic.

"Sorry, Trav," she said. "We, uh, haven't quite gotten around to organising dinner yet."

"That's cool," he replied, a little non-plussed, as behind her he saw Lucas hurrying up the stairs with a small armful of clothing.

 _Oh_.

Well. That was good. 

Vic had been tight-lipped about whatever was wrong - and something had been wrong, Travis knew. He'd been relieved to see that Lucas still looked at Vic like she was the centre of his universe, so it wasn't their marriage, but both of them had been quieter and less happy than they had been. He'd stopped seeing them as much as Vic had gently put him off, using the tired excuse of Lucas having had a bad time at work recently.

So he bit his tongue when at what ended up being a dinner of takeaway curry it was clear the two of them were almost back to their normal, besotted, happy selves.

It wasn't until the end of the night when Vic was seeing him to the door as Lucas finished washing up that he said something.

He didn't mention the hickey that was visible on her collarbone when her shirt slid over a little bit, instead settling for leaning in and saying quietly, "you should probably let Lucas know his shirt's inside out." He gave her a wink as she blushed furiously. "Have a  _good_ night you two."


	39. Exposure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To avoid RPF I'm not naming the TV host.
> 
> Warning for discussion of miscarriage

Lucas' palms were sweating, but he gripped Vic's hand all the tighter as the talk show host introduced them.

"My next guests are the _New York Times_ bestselling authors of  _Walked Through Fire._ He's the former Fire Chief of Seattle turned house-husband, and she's an active firefighter still risking her life every day to keep Americans safe. They'd both rather that you've never heard of them. Please welcome former Fire Chief Lucas Ripley -" Lucas glanced at Vic who was pale, but gave him a determined nod, "- and Firefighter Lieutenant Victoria Hughes."

Music played and he gave Vic's hand a squeeze, plastering his best politician's smile on his face as they stepped out onto the stage.

"How are you?" he said to the host who flashed him a pearly white grin, shaking his hand before letting go of Vic's hand so that she could shake the host's hand as well.

The two of them settled down on the couch, Vic automatically reaching again for his hand. The host waited for the applause to die down, before tapping his cue cards on the desk.

"Hello, and welcome!" he said.

"Thank you," Lucas replied. "We're very glad to be here."

"We're happy to have you," the host responded. "There's actually an interesting story to this..."

"Yes," Lucas replied. "When we first made news headlines -"

"Something we'll definitely be circling back to!"

"We had a joke that we'd only go and do an interview if it were Oprah or you," Lucas finished.

"Oprah sadly wasn't available," Vic added. 

"So this is an exclusive, to have both of you here," the host said.

"Well, I have a real job so I'm not doing any of this promotional work," Vic joked, squeezing Lucas' hand. "No offence, darling."

"None taken," he grinned back at her.

"We're going to talk about the book in a second, but first let's talk about how the two of you became famous?" 

They exchanged glances. "Well," Vic said. "The short version is we met at work and fell in love. The long version is that it got a little bit messy because at the time he was the Fire Chief and I was an unranked Firefighter."

"Not exactly supposed to be getting romantically involved," Lucas chipped in. "And I was testifying to a council budget meeting which was being televised to like, twelve pensioners in Seattle, when in order to hide some fradulent accounting, a member of the committee brought up our relationship."

"There's a clip from those council proceedings that went viral," the host pointed his finger in the air. Vic winced, gripping his hand tighter as the forty second clip played.

"I've never seen that clip," Vic admitted. "God, no wonder everyone was so fired up after it."

"You've never seen it?" the host said incredulously.

"Nope," Vic replied.

"We kind of...we never wanted any of that attention. We'd gotten approval via an HR inquiry to continue our relationship and we'd planned to do just that. Continue it. But discreetly, telling only people who we wanted to know - and everyone who HR required to know," Lucas added.

"So at the time, you declined all interviews," the host said.

"That's right."

"How do you get from there, to writing a book?"

"Well," Lucas said. "It didn't start off as a book. It started off as a letter."

* * *

>   _ ~~Dear baby~~_   ~~ _To my unborn child_~~ _Dear kiddo_

Christ this was hard. He knew what he wanted to write. Just - how was he supposed to start it?

>   _Um. First off, I love you. I love you so much already and you're just a bunch of cells in Mom's uterus. ~~Hell~~ Heck I only found out about you yesterday. Your mom and I have been trying to get pregnant for four, five months now. I guess we're lucky it happened so soon. I'm trying to keep calm and not "get my hopes up" - says Mom the realist - because miscarriages this early on are really common. _
> 
> _But it doesn't change the fact that I love you so much and you barely exist. So that's the first thing you need to know; I love you unconditionally for just existing; it's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. [Me meeting your mom is the other best thing. Your mom is the most amazing person you'll ever meet. Love her and be good to her]._
> 
> _I'm writing this letter to you because when I was eighteen my parents died. My mom died in a car accident and then my dad committed suicide. At first I was too busy looking after your Aunt Jennifer (she was only eleven). It was really tough, and I've realised over the years that I miss them - but more, I miss the fact that I feel I never got to know them properly, as an adult to adult. I want to know what they would've thought about things._
> 
> _So, I thought I'd write you this letter so you know what I think about things. As I've already said, number one is I love you unconditionally for what you are - a bunch of cells. If that bunch of cells is a boy, great, if that bunch of cells is a girl, great, if that bunch of cells wants to confuse their old Dad's brain and do something else, great. I love you anyway. Same thing goes with the kind of people you want to be with. If you want to be with a boy, great, if you want to be with a girl, great. Just make sure he/she/they bring you home by nine..._

"Scruffy?" Vic said suddenly from the other end of the couch, prodding his thigh with her toes.

"Mmh?"

"Can we have pizza? And garlic bread? Please?" 

He glanced over, unable to stop the goofy grin he knew he was wearing. [God, how he was going to keep this a secret he had no idea]. "Course, Eggy," he replied. "What would you like?"

Thirty minutes later, he stepped back into their house, balancing the pizza and garlic bread and the slowly melting ice cream she'd  _then_ asked him to get. He stepped into the kitchen, setting the pizza on the counter and putting the ice-cream in the freezer.

"Hey sweetheart, I'm home," he called, grabbing a couple of plates from the cupboard. He turned back to the counter, to see Vic, face as pale and grim as he'd ever seen it, set his laptop down with a hard  _thunk_. Lucas frowned. "Everything okay?"

"What the fuck is this?" she demanded, spinning the laptop around so that he could see the open letter on the screen. Lucas flushed a little.

"Nothing," he said, a little embarrassed. Vic wasn't exactly the sort to go in for letters.

For some reason, Vic looked stricken.

" _Nothing!?_ " she demanded. "It looks like a letter." He shrugged awkwardly. "You've never written a letter before."

"Well, you know that I love you," he said matter-of-factly. "You know you mean everything to me. So I never saw the point of writing one - and you don't go in for them anyway."

"You asshole!" she growled. "How can you do this to me!?" 

Okay. He must be missing something. "Do...what to you?"

"This is why I checked, Lucas! This is why I waited to bring this topic up," she ranted. "I WANTED YOU TO BE READY FOR THIS CHILD FIRST!"

His blood ran cold. They didn't shout at each other. Sure they argued, but they hadn't shouted at each other since before they got married.

"I am, I mean, I feel I am as much as I'm going to be," he stammered. "I just...what?!"

She burst into tears.

"Darling," he said, helplessly, rounding the bench. She stepped back from him, and it felt like a dagger into his heart. "Vic. I'm confused. What -?"

"Confused about why I'm upset about you writing a - " she sobbed. "I love you, I need you,  _we_ need you."

"I love you," he said uncertainly. "I mean, you don't need  _need_ me but -" he stopped when she sobbed harder.

"What do I need to do?" Vic asked, sounding desperate.

"Victoria," he said. "I love you. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I don't want you to die," she said.

"Who said anything about dying?"

She paused, looking at him intently. "The suicide note you're writing?!"

"Suicide note..." he trailed off blankly, realising what she must have thought. "Oh no. No. No no no no no. I'm not...that's not a suicide note!"

"You're depressed, I know," she said. "I just can't believe -"

"Eggy," he said urgently, stepping to her and pulling her tense body into his arms. "Eggy, that's not a suicide note - I love you and I love the munchkin and I can't wait to meet him or her."

"You're talking to the baby as if you're not going to be here in person!" she exclaimed angrily, but hugged him tightly anyway.

"Do you..." he hesitated. "Do you ever get the feeling like you shouldn't be alive?"

"That's your depression talking," she growled.

"No, I mean, just, I've had so many near misses and it seems...like out of a dream that I get a happy ending and..."

" _Lucas!_ "

"I just...if something happens to me, and I am nearly fifty, my darling wife, I want my child to have something that tells them things about me. So they can feel they know who I was a little," he scrambled to explain.

Vic simply buried her head in his chest and cried.

"I love you," he said, stroking her back. "I'm sorry?"

"I don't want you to go anywhere," her words were muffled. "I don't want this!"

"Vic," he said helplessly. "I didn't mean to make you upset. I just...if something happens I want the baby to have something from me. I don't have a death wish I'm just...very grateful to be alive and about to be a dad and at the same time incredibly aware of my own mortality.'

He held her for five long minutes as she simply cried into his chest. Lucas could only assume it was pregnancy hormones messing with her system; it was so unlike Vic.

* * *

"The unique thing about this book is while it's written by you, it's got commentary by yourself - that's why you're both listed as co-authors," the host noted. "What sparked that?"

* * *

She felt oddly reassured that Lucas simply transferred the letter onto a shared cloud so that she could read it. He'd sworn black and blue he wasn't suicidal, and she (half-reluctantly) had relented and not pushed him to see Henry earlier.

[Vic did go with him to his next appointment though, and told Henry about the letter].

And she couldn't help herself, adding comments and corrections. In a weird way, she was learning more about Lucas' early life through this letter than she'd learnt in the last seven years of marriage - Lucas didn't talk about his parents or their death often. So she learned for the first time how Lucas had kept the house going while his Mom had been brain-dead on a ventilator after a car crash, and how when his Mom eventually died, Lucas had been the one to find his dad hanging in the garage.

>   _I was angry at them both_ , he'd written.  _Mainly at Dad, though, for forcing us to go through months with Mom on a ventilator as a vegetable - it's a bit hard to be angry at Mom for being in a car accident. Finding Dad in the garage...I was so angry at him both for leaving us and because I'd come home and found him there. He'd done it with Jennifer - who was only eleven at the time - in the house. I hope Dad didn't know he was leaving us virtually bankrupt; once the medical bills had been paid and the funeral costs covered, we had basically nothing in the bank. We were lucky Mum and Dad had just paid off the house - I actually had to remortgage part of it to cover the medical bills. The mortgage was designed for two adults with jobs to pay off; not an eighteen year old college student with a part time job at the local burger place._
> 
> [What did your parents do?] 
> 
> _Dad was a builder, and Mom was a teacher_.
> 
> [What were they like? You've only told the baby about how they died]. 
> 
> _Well, Mom was funny. Dad was more serious..._

* * *

 "It became really long," Lucas explained. "I actually made a list of things to include, and before we knew it, with Vic's additions, we had something like fifty-thousand words."

"It took the entire pregnancy to write. Then when our daughter was born, Lucas added the last section and decided he was done," Vic added. "I left it for a couple of months - the first few months of having a newborn baby was a whole new lesson in exhaustion."

"We thought from our years of shift work and on call that we were prepared," Lucas added. 

"Spoiler alert, we definitely weren't," Vic said wryly, and the audience laughed sympathetically. "Anyway, we were lucky and Alex started sleeping through the night when she was around five or six months and at that point I looked at the letter again and thought that we should get it printed nicely for her to read when she was older."

"And so you went to your first wife's husband?" the host asked incredulously.

Lucas laughed. "I actually had talked about this in the book - or the letter as it was then. I figured our children will one day see on the internet that there was a great controversy about their parents being together, and in that, they'd learn that this is my third marriage. My first ex wife is a good friend of ours. We divorced amicably after marrying when we were barely more than teenagers."

"Every time she comes to town to visit her mom we catch up," Vic added. "Anyway, her husband is in the publishing industry, and he asked to see the letter because Lucas was insisting on keeping my additions and he was trying to work out how to format it."

"You're never going to write a letter. This is sort of a ... joint effort," Lucas pointed out. 

"And he read the letter, and then approached you to have it published as a book," the host prompted.

"Initially I said no," Lucas replied. "But he had some pretty persuasive arguments, and then he gave it to his wife - my ex-wife - and she agreed with him, and gave it to a couple of our other friends..."

"And somehow, suddenly half a dozen people had read it, and they all were saying we should properly publish it," Vic said. 

"And then Vic was pregnant again, and we kind of decided that we would edit the letter, and see what it looked like if we made it more like a book," Lucas said. "So we edited it, reorganised it, and ..." he faltered.

"And then you had a miscarriage," the host said gently. "It is - I think - one of the most beautiful sections in the book."

* * *

 "Everything okay?" Travis asked, looking at her in concern.

Vic made a face, resting her hand on her bump. The first pregnancy, she'd barely shown. With this one, as soon as she fell pregnant it felt like her uterus had just exploded in size. "I just...the baby started moving last week but it hasn't moved today."

Travis' concern deepened. "We should get that checked out," he said.

>   _Uncle Travis is the biggest worrywart you'll ever meet. He almost as excited as we were about us having a baby -_
> 
> [He and your Daddy would discuss pregnancy apps and compare their reading ... it drove me  _nuts_ ].

Vic didn't bother to put up a fight; partly because she knew Travis would win, and partly because she had a bad feeling. Had had a bad feeling all day, really, but had been ignoring it.

"Do you want me to call Lucas?" Travis asked, as he and Jim drove her in the aid car to the nearest urgent care centre.

"Not yet," Vic said. Jim dropped them off - Sullivan had looked at Vic in concern and told Travis to just stay with her.

She took Travis' hand automatically while the doctor put cold gel onto her stomach and put the ultrasound gel. The doctor frowned, and Vic's heart felt suddenly cold.

"Call Luke," she said, squeezing her best friend's hand. She glanced over only to see Travis already had the phone to his ear.

>    _I wanted to drop everything and just race to the hospital. But when you have an eighteen month old, you can't just drop and run. No, you've got to put a million things into the diaper bag - diapers, washcloths, a spare set of clothes, baby wipes, food, toys ... some of that stuff was already in there of course, but it felt like packing up and getting Alex into the car took forever_.
> 
> [In fact, Lucas was at the hospital fifteen minutes later. I'd've been pissed he'd been speeding with Alex in the car but I was so glad to see him - to see them both - that I didn't have the ability to be angry. The doctor had said they'd had trouble getting good pictures on ultrasound - he'd explained that he was doing it to try to reassure me, but that if he couldn't get the right images he'd arrange for a formal ultrasound].
> 
> _We went to the formal ultrasound pretty quickly. Uncle Travis took Alex for a walk. Vic practically broke my hand._
> 
> [The sonographer had the same look on their face as the doctor had had].
> 
> _Our baby was dead._
> 
> _It was devastating._
> 
> _It seems selfish, even now, to say how devastated we were that our beautiful baby girl had died before ever making it into the world. We already had one gorgeous little girl, who at the time was toddling up and down the hallways, chatting Uncle Travis' ear off._
> 
> [And this is where I should say that your dad and I responded very differently].
> 
> _I fell apart. I was ... It was all I could do to be by Mom's side and watch her give birth to our baby, our sweet Grace, twenty-one weeks early.  Because that's what happens. They induce labour and you have the baby, just like she'd had Alex. One of the hardest things is learning far too much about the laws surrounding this. Over twenty weeks gestation you get given a birth certificate and registered as a stillbirth._
> 
> _Under twenty weeks, it's a miscarriage. The birth isn't registered. All that happens is that Mom went from a G2P1 to a G2P1M1. It felt...like it was invisible. And yet Grace was our baby. So we named her - Grace Ellen Ripley. And we had a funeral. When I say we, I mean just me and Mom and Alex - who could understand nothing about all this, and kept asking us for her new brother or sister - and of course, Uncle Travis._
> 
> _I bawled through the whole thing. And I kept crying. I wonder if it was because, being at home, I had mentally started preparing for a new baby. I was starting to potty train Alex so we'd only have one kid in diapers - that went backwards fast. I'd started to set up the previously spare room for Alex so she wasn't sleeping in the same room as the new baby - obviously initially we were going to have Grace in the crib in our room, but I knew we would be moving her out into the nursery and Alex needed her own space. [Otherwise I foresaw that our two year old would spend the whole night trying to "play"]._
> 
> _So I'd planned how we would organise our days. It was going to need to be around the new baby - you can't schedule a baby, and you can only half-schedule a toddler. Alex was excited to have a baby brother or sister. She kept inventing games to play and making me play them with her._
> 
> _A particular favourite of ours was the colour game. In the colour game, you simply shout (as loud as you can) a colour._
> 
> _Yeah, that's the whole game. Eighteen month olds are easily amused. And only know about four colours [red, green, blue, pink. She couldn't say yellow, it always came out more as saying hello]._
> 
> _So not having the baby, that absence of the little girl that we were going to have, that I was going to have to stop Alex dragging around like a doll, that hit me hard. And nobody knows what to say to you - after all, it's a_ miscarriage _not a_ stillbirth _. A miscarriage is sad, but something that happens. A stillbirth is devastating, the loss of a child._
> 
> _And for the sake of a week, officially we didn't lose a child. We lost a pregnancy._
> 
> [I didn't cry at Gracie's funeral. I think it hadn't hit me yet. I don't think it hit me until I was pregnant again, and then I was a mess].
> 
> _We'd talked about it, and waited a year from when we'd lost Grace, and decided we were ready. Ready to have another child._
> 
> [We found out we were pregnant with Teddy pretty quickly. And it terrified me. Apparently we were able to get pregnant easily, but all I could think about was how I only had a 50% success rate of completing a pregnancy - and it felt like that was my fault. Kids, Daddy's a lot more open about how he's scared or sad than I am -  _which is saying nothing, as you do everything you possibly can to Cope_ \- but I get anxious. And in this third pregnancy, I was terrified. I didn't want to lose another baby - partly because I  _wanted_ him or her so much and partly because I felt like I couldn't do it to Lucas again. For the first time, I dreamed about Grace, dreamed about our three kids playing together, and I'd wake up crying in the night. Kids, protip, your daddy gives the best middle-of-the-night-nightmare cuddles].
> 
> _Luckily this pregnancy went smoothly. Teddy was born, to our delight..._

* * *

"So we actually finished the book shortly after our third child," Lucas said. "And with all the arguments for and against publishing something that is actually very personal, the thing that I think got me to agree was the fact that it would ... make Grace  _exist_. Because in this book, there's an entire chapter dedicated to her and how much we love her."

"Two girls and a boy," the host said, with a surprising amount of empathy. "Alexandra, Grace, and Edward."

"God we sound so medieval," Vic laughed, unconsciously rubbing at her obvious baby bump. "Yes. And we're obviously expecting again, somewhat...unexpectedly."

A laugh went up in the audience, who'd been listening almost eerily quietly as Lucas had stumbled through talking about Grace.

"How many is the plan?"

"Well, we'd sort of intended on having two," Vic said. "We're absolutely delighted to be pregnant again; it's honestly just ... we're so lucky. But we're not having any more."

"Or at least," Lucas added dryly. " _I'm_ not." Another roar of laughter went through the theatre. 

"I think the thing that impressed me about this book, or this letter, is how open you are about your emotions and your struggles, both of you," the host said. 

"My family didn't talk about it," Lucas said. "And to refer back - I think it's part of the reason why my Dad killed himself. When I first told Vic that, her first thought was how it was sad we were all so isolated despite the fact that we were all grieving my mother. And so I want to talk about it with my children, and even if I'm not here to have those conversations I want them to know when they're older that their Dad struggled with things."

"Especially as their Dad has left a hard legacy to follow," Vic said. "And Lucas doesn't think of it like that - neither of us think that our kids have to do anything but be happy. But it's not always about what expectations others put on you - sometimes it's about the expectation you put on yourself. And both of us are good at ... seeming fine. My friends read the book and afterwards, they were all surprised that for the last two years of Lucas being the Chief he was severely depressed. Because he was functioning just enough to do his job, and what they weren't seeing is that he would come home and collapse on the couch, that he would spend whole weekends unable to bring himself to get up and out of bed."

"Vic developed a two stage process for washing our sheets to force me out of bed," Lucas said wryly.

* * *

>   
>  _Mental illness runs in the family. I wonder if mental wellness ever runs in any family?_
> 
> _Obviously you already know that your Grandfather Ripley committed suicide - that was in chapter one. And when you look at risk factors for suicide, some of the main ones are male gender, and male relative having committed suicide._
> 
> _So I think it's important to talk about. And for me to say that I've struggled with PTSD and depression for almost my entire life._
> 
> [Given we start at eighteen with your Mom dying in a horrific car crash - but months later - and then you finding your Dad hanging in the garage, you cutting him down and resuscitating him only for him to die two or three days later, and  _then_ you're in Manhattan one September day in 2001 as a rookie firefighter and you rush to help....and follow all that up with a career as a firefighter and EMT, no wonder you have issues].
> 
> [I guess I should also say here, kids, Daddy has depression and PTSD. Mommy has anxiety. We're sorry for these genes if they pass to you].
> 
> _[But you manage your anxiety really well, Vic. People really, genuinely, don't know. And at what point is it pathological?]._
> 
> [At the point where I spent something like three months as a firefighter  _terrified_ of fire? I was so anxious every time a call came out. I couldn't breathe].

* * *

"This is the section of the book that's had real praise," the host said. "I mean, all of it is excellent, but the chapters where you both talk openly about your struggles with these illnesses is really powerful. Particularly how you both work through it, and how your way of managing was to just try to double down on helping people."

"I hope the other message that comes out of it though is to know your limits, and to not feel ashamed," Lucas said. "I retired for two reasons, first, I wanted to be a stay at home Dad, and second, I'd spent the better part of eighteen months in therapy, and while I wasn't depressed like I had been, I still didn't find the same joy in my job. And the people of Seattle deserved a Fire Chief who wasn't sitting at his desk or at a scene wishing he was home with his baby daughter instead."

"And that's on me," Vic interjected. "Lucas said right from the start that he wanted to be a stay at home dad. It was really important to both of us that we didn't have children that just went into childcare. And we'd saved carefully, so we could afford to live off Lucas' savings and pension and my income. But I was scared that he would retire, find he didn't like it, and need to go back to work, so I made him not retire initially and we had a few months where I was on maternity leave where we sort of did a - on his days off he'd be responsible for _everything_ just in case he found it not enough."

"I didn't," Lucas said. "It's...I love being with the kids at home. I still work a bit - so I'm technically still employed as an advisor at 0.2, and I teach at the Academy one day a week. But the advisor role is very flexible, I basically do it all from home - reading over policies and procedures when the kids are in bed. And the teaching day at the Academy is arranged on days Vic isn't working, and she's with the kids. And really, I was ready to not be responsible for several thousand firefighter lives. Downsizing that responsibility to just one little life and then another little life is enough - particularly when it's not just their well-being but their...we're responsible for the _type_ of people they grow up to be as well."

"What was the hardest thing to adjust to, becoming a stay at home dad?"

"The racism," Lucas said. "Obviously, as a middle-aged white man it's not something I'd really experienced."

"You talk about this in the end of the book, where you've written short letters to your children..."

* * *

>   _To my son(s),_
> 
> _I love you unconditionally. All I ask you to do is be happy, and be safe._
> 
> _As a white man, the Black Lives Matter movement was one I found sad. The need for people to assert the fact that young black men shouldn't be shot for holding a bag of skittles, or going into a Subway, or any of the other myriad of nonsensical pretexts is something I would hope would be unnecessary in the 21st century._

> _The first time I held you in my arms, Teddy, I was besotted. You're beautiful._

> _Your Mommy cried. I asked her why._

> _Mommy thinks you're beautiful, and handsome, and neither of us would change a single thing about you._

> _But you terrify us. Because you're very dark. Although Alex - we've discovered - tans in the sun, she's actually quite pale. She has Mom's kind of hair. She has blue eyes._

> _But you, my darling Edward, are a little darker than your Mom in skin tone, and so it doesn't matter that your hair is more like mine (more Caucasian). Because any policeman is going to see the colour of your skin first, not the content of your character, or the fact that -- ignoring skin colour -- your facial features are almost the same as mine (your eyes are your Mom's beautiful, big, expressive brown eyes)._

> _Please. Be safe. If I could, I would spend the rest of your life being the white man shield. I would put myself between you and any bullet or any hit or kick any time._

> _But that's not only impractical, it's impossible._

> _I've asked lots of people how to be the white father of an African American boy. Because you are clearly an African American boy - and while Alex is an African American girl, she can probably pass as white, depending on what she does with her hair. You just can't._

> _So, here's advice from some of the black men I know and respect and love - your Uncle Mike, your Uncle Dean, and your Uncle Ben, and Cousin Tuck._

> _Don't run. Do exactly what you're told. Never argue. Don't get angry._

> _Anger, as it turns out, is a white man's luxury._

> _I wish with all my being that it wasn't like this, like you couldn't get shot for playing in the goddamn front yard. But it is. And it has been for centuries. White America isn't less racist, it's just better at hiding it._

> _I love you, Teddy Bear. You are perfect the way you are. I hate to beg you but, in public, don't be an angry young black man. Be angry at home. Rage against me. I don't care._

> _Just stay safe on the streets. And tell them to call me._

> _Because I will and can bring my anger, and I will focus it on anyone who so much as touches a hair on your head._

* * *

"I had never thought of that," the host said. "Being a white man, and realising how that means I don't have to worry about my sons."

"I hadn't realised it would be something I'd need to think about," Lucas admitted. " _Black Lives Matter_ takes on a whole new meaning when you have black children."

"And I'd expected when you talked about transitioning to being a stay at home dad it would've been about leaving a job where you were doing  _how_ many hours a week?"

"Rostered is different to actual. I was probably averaging 10-12 hours every day at work, plus an on call shift every week or two -"

"Plus all the extra reading that you did. I reckon he was doing something like a seventy-hour week."

"It's not that bad compared to some."

"It's terrible compared to others," Vic pointed out.

"But then I transitioned to being a stay at home dad which is a twenty-four hour a day, seven days a week job."

"I think my colleagues found it harder to adjust."

"And I think it's important to say here that you mention - both of you- in the book how a fire station is a family," the host said.

"Yes. And being married to the boss' boss' boss made it awkward at times. I think that apart from Travis - my best friend - none of my other family at the station really knew Lucas until he retired, because Lucas was always aware he needed to be professional with them."

"Just because I wasn't running active scenes with Vic present didn't mean her colleagues might not be transferred and then I would be in the position where I would be directing them into a burning building..."

* * *

"It's my favourite elves!" Dean looked up from where he was making virgin margaritas at Vic's exclamation. A smiling Ripley, loaded with bags and wearing a jaunty Santa's hat on his head stood at the entrance to the Beanery. Vic immediately reached for her baby daughter - and boy wasn't that weird - who was wearing a little elf onesie.

"Ho ho ho?" Ripley joked. "Merry Christmas folks."

"Merry Christmas, Chief," they all responded.

His grin broadened. "I'm retired. You can't call me that anymore."

"Semi-retired - aren't you still an advisor?" Jack asked.

"I have no official title," Ripley sounded more cheerful about that than Dean had sort of expected. "So y'all should actually properly start calling me Lucas."

"Did you make gingerbread?" Vic asked, having finished babbling hello to Alex.

"Yes, dear," Ripley replied patiently. "It's in this bag," he hefted the bag at his side.

"You  _bake_?" Maya asked incredulously from the counter.

Strictly speaking, of course, they were supposed to be working. But Sullivan had agreed to have a Christmas dinner, and so Maya, Andy, Captain Herrera, Jim's wife and sons were all coming in for dinner.

"I mean, it's not exactly difficult," Ripley pointed out, lifting a giant container full of gingerbread onto the counter. "You just do what the recipe says."

"It's made a little more difficult by trying not to trip over this one," Vic said, kissing her daughter's cheek. "Or was she napping?"

Ripley looked a little guilty.

"Lu- _cas_?"

"She maybe got into the Tupperware cupboard when my back was turned," he said sheepishly. "I'll clean it up when I get home."

"That's why we have the things on the cupboard doors!" Vic groaned.

"Yeah but I'd unhooked it to get this out and then forgot...and then she had half of the stuff out before I could turn, and then she was having fun so I figured it was too late," he said defensively.

"You spoil that child," Travis accused, reaching to lift Alex from Vic's arms.

"Pot, kettle, black," Vic retorted. "Also, don't steal my baby."

"She wants to be stolen," Travis said smugly, and indeed, Alex had squealed and was reaching with chubby arms to her 'Uncle'. Vic pouted, but let her daughter go, instead turning back to Ripley and giving him a quick kiss.

"You're just after gingerbread," Ripley accused, opening the container.

"Busted," Vic grinned up at him, reaching for a cookie. Maya did the same thing, and made a noise of surprised appreciation.

"They're really good," she said around a mouthful.

"Thanks, I think," Ripley said in amusement. "How are you, Maya?"

"Good, thanks sir- Chi -" Maya spluttered.

"Lucas," Vic said firmly. 

"Lucas?" Maya sounded uncertain.

"He did have to do all the cooking when his parents died," Vic said, squeezing his waist.

"To start with," Ripley agreed, taking a cookie himself, wrapping an arm over Vic's shoulder. "Jennifer took over that job pretty quick. That's why she's a much better cook than me."

"How old was your sister again?" Maya asked in surprise, reaching for another cookie.

"Eleven," Ripley replied. "I was having to work one and a half jobs, and was at college, so Jen announced one day she'd cook and do most of the cleaning if I did the shopping and the driving and the bills."

"Rough," Jack commented, grabbing a handful of gingerbread. "It _is_ good. Dean, here."

Dean took the offered cookie - and it really was as good as the others had said. The icing was a little lopsided, but that only added to the charm.

"Margarita?" he offered Ripley, deciding to leave off the older man's name. "No alcohol."

"I'd hope not," Ripley replied. "Yeah, I'll have one thanks Dean."

It was a weird and noticeable shift. Ripley normally referred to them by their surnames, but he seemed to have immediately transitioned to using their first names. He was also...relaxed. Dean had never seen him quite like this, light-hearted and joking.

"God you look like a street urchin, Rip," Sullivan commented as he came up the stairs. "Have you used a comb since you retired? You do remember what a barber is, right?"

Ripley simply punched his friend in the shoulder. "Easy for you to say, baldie," he said good-naturedly. "The munchkin loves to pull on hair."

"Even if - ow," Travis winced, trying to pry fat fists off his hair. "Even if it's short."

"Well, I got no hair so I'll take her," Sullivan volunteered immediately, plucking Alex away from Travis with a speed and grace Dean had to admire. "Hey cutie-pie. How's the best looking girl in town?"

Alex giggled.

"She's grown so much!" Dean commented despite himself. It had been a couple of months since he'd seen Alex. "Is she walking yet?"

"Not yet," Ripley answered. "She's crawling at the speed of the light, and she'll sort of let you hold her up but she won't actually walk."

"Like this?" It was a comical sight to see their six foot four inch tall boss bend practically in half to hold Alex to the floor. She took a couple of uncertain steps, then sat down.

"Slowly!" called Maggie Irvington, just ahead of a duo of screaming boys. Alex started crying immediately, reaching back up, as JJ and Adam tore into the Beanery, barrelling into Jim.

"Hey boys," Irvington said. "Hey, be quiet, the baby's here."

"She's fine," Lucas said dismissively. "She just got a fright."

"Hello," Maggie said, somewhat breathlessly, carrying a backpack and a bag. "I'm sorry about the boys."

"Oh, we're okay, right sweetie?" Sullivan cooed (disturbingly). Alex, seemingly happy now, simply giggled.

"I brought Christmas cake," Maggie said. "Vic told Jim that the gingerbread was covered - oooo!"

"They're good," Maya informed her. "Even though the Ch- Lucas made them."

"GINGERBREAD?!" Adam's ears clearly pricked up, and soon there was a little four year old boy standing next to the counter.

"You just had -" Maggie sighed. "Fine.  _One_ before dinner." 

Ripley picked up the container, lowering it so Adam could pick a cookie. 

"What do you say?" Jim prompted.

"Fanks," Adam said around the gingerbread. "Mummy, yummy!"

"I want one!" predictably, JJ raced over, reaching for one. "Yum."

"JJ!" Maggie scolded.

"Thanks Mr Lucas," JJ said with a gap-toothed smile. 

Maggie let out a dramatic sigh as the boys - and Dean included Gibson in this - went hollering back down the hall, already invested in some sort of game. "See," she said, looking wistfully at Alex who was now playing with Sullivan's shirt buttons with a look of fierce concentration on her face. "You have such a sweet little girl."

"That sweet little girl can be a holy terror," Ripley said firmly.

"But you get to dress her in cute little outfits," Maggie sighed. Sullivan glanced over, and deposited Alex in Maggie's eager arms. "Oh sweetie! Look at you in your little elf costume!"

Alex babbled something, clapping her hands.

"Look at her, turning on the charm for people who aren't her poor, exhausted parents," Vic said melodramatically, slumping against Ripley. "Still, the outfits are super cute. Jennifer - Luke's sister - got her the  _most_ adorable little dress."

"It's the after-dinner outfit, actually," Ripley interjected. 

"I want a girl," Maggie sighed.

"No, no no," Jim said. "You know what happened to Davey!"

Maggie sighed. "Davey's Jim's sister's husband's brother," she said. "He and his wife kept trying for a girl. Ended up with four boys."

"Surely boys and girls can't be that different," Ripley said. "I mean, Alex loves getting grubby, loves tearing around like a hellion."

"Oh, it does vary," Maggie said. "But both of ours are little - I mean, look at them!" everyone in the kitchen glanced over, watching Gibson dangle Adam upside down while JJ climbed onto his back.

"Ugh," Maya shuddered. "No offence, but while your kids are all cute and everything, no way do I want one."

"To be fair, you already have a kid," Ripley joked, nodding towards Gibson. Maya laughed good-naturedly.

They eventually settled down to dinner, Ripley reclaiming Alex. Dean watched, impressed, as Ripley expertly corralled the fidgety child on his lap with one arm, and offered her a plastic spoonful of mashed potatoes with the other.

"Your sweater's going to get covered, baby," Vic said suddenly, getting up and rummaging through their giant diaper bag to return with what was essentially a small towel, which she put across Ripley's chest.

"Thanks," he said. "Should've done that before."

"DADA," Alex demanded, reaching for the spoon. 

"Yes yes, Miss Grumpy-Pants," he said, offering her another spoonful of mashed potatoes. This time, about half ended up inside her mouth. The rest ended up smeared on her face. "No you can't have the spoon. You're gonna make enough mess as it is, munchkin."

"I'm so glad we don't have carpet in the kitchen," Vic said with a sigh. 

"We did," Maggie said sympathetically. "We bought a plastic tarp in the end. It was just easier to take that outside and hose it down than it was to vacuum mashed vegetables out of the carpet."

"Maybe we should do that anyway," Ripley muttered. He continued to feed Alex until Vic set her fork aside. 

"Here, I'm done," Vic said, plucking the towel off Ripley's chest and placing it over her own. "I'll finish feeding her so you can eat."

"She's mostly playing with it now," Ripley said, passing her the baby, reaching with a delighted noise for the turkey.

After dinner had been mostly cleared away, and Vic had reappeared with Alex in a new set of clothes (even Dean had to admit that the dark red pinafore dress with little bows everywhere was an adorable outfit), Sullivan cleared his throat.

"I think the children should look in the dayroom," he said meaningfully.

JJ and Adam's eyes lit up.

"Presents?" said JJ hopefully.

"You didn't have to," Maggie protested, like she had every year.

"It's tradition," Pruitt told her firmly. They all crammed in to watch JJ and Adam delightedly rip the wrapping paper off various presents, while Alex simply stared in confusion at the one placed in front of her.

"I'll start it for you," Ripley said, crouching down next to her and ripping an edge up. 

"She worked it out this morning, eventually," Vic said dryly. Suddenly, there was an excited squeal as Alex pulled on the paper - which went immediately into her mouth. "You just ate, Alexandra, how can you be hungry already?"

"But Mommy, everything must go into my mouth!" Ripley said in a sing-song tone, sweeping the paper out with his finger. "Don't bite, Alex."

Alex was clearly more enamoured with the paper than the actual gifts, waving it around and trying to shove it in her mouth when she thought her dad wasn't looking. It didn't take long for Adam to volunteer his services to 'help' unwrap her gifts, despite Jim and Maggie's scolding.

The Irvingtons left shortly after the presents had been unwrapped, the silence that fell after the departure of the two young boys greeted with a loud sigh of relief from their father.

"Is it bad that I'm glad I don't have to deal with them all hyped up?" Jim said, leaning back in his chair with a smug grin.

"Nope," Vic said, sitting down across from him with a sigh. "It's nice to have a stay at home spouse, isn't it?"

"It's relaxing to come to work," Jim agreed.

"Lucas, I'd love a cup of tea, thanks," Vic said sweetly. Ripley rolled his eyes at her, but got up and moved towards the tea cupboard. 

"Anyone else want tea or coffee?" he offered. Dean felt a little awkward about saying yes, but he'd kind of been on the verge of getting up himself to make some. And so his former boss stood and made them all - except Travis who was busy crawling on the floor in the dayroom with Alex - tea, coffee, or, in Andy's case, hot chocolate.

"How's retirement treating you, Ripley?" Pruitt asked, sipping from his coffee with a satisfied smile.

"Semi-retirement," Vic corrected automatically. She made a face when everyone looked at her.

"Vic thinks I sound old if I tell people I'm retired," Ripley said in amusement. 

"You're not."

"Am too, but that's beside the point. It's good. Different kind of busy, and I'm a different kind of tired," Ripley admitted.

"I always thought you'd die in the saddle," Pruitt said. Vic bristled, but Ripley simply - without glancing at her - let his arm slip off the back of her chair and around her shoulders.

"So did I," he replied calmly. "But this is a much better option. I did eleven years in a job I disliked for the last three years; I am pleased with what we achieved, and now I'm very happy to step back and advise Matty Chong, and help Sloane out at the Academy."

Dean felt a small pang of jealousy, mixed with admiration. He'd been surprised that Ripley had retired - and had heard enough of Vic's talks with Travis to know that the man had wanted to retire from the start - and it made him feel wistful that he hadn't had that; parents determined to focus on him and his sister and make them the centre of their world.

Because Alex was definitely the centre of their world. Everything Vic did was contingent on that baby, and Ripley was clearly the same.

"So it's definitely Matty Chong?" Pruitt probed. Ripley nodded. "I'm surprised by that."

"Matty's a good guy," Ripley said defensively. "He's grown a lot in the last few years. Our battalion chiefs generally are quite old, and I was a strong advocate for trying to make sure we have some younger blood there. The Chief's role is not a retirement gig."

"So you're completely finished, now, Chief?" Andy asked.

"It's Lucas. And yes. Emptied my office last week," he replied, as a wail went up in the dayroom behind them, followed immediately by Travis trying to soothe the baby. Ripley made a face. "That might be our cue to go, honey. She's probably a bit overtired, she didn't nap well today she was too excited to play with the new toys."

"If we can settle her here, stay?" Vic said pleadingly. "I wish I had just used leave today for her first Christmas, you were right."

"Better for you to miss part of one she won't remember than the ones she will," Ripley pointed out pragmatically, kissing her temple before standing. "I'll try to settle her."

"She's just too upset," Travis said apologetically, entering the Beanery with the baby.

"She's overtired, Trav," Ripley said, as Alex reached to him with a loud sob. "Come on munchkin. Let's go for a walk."

Dean watched, sipping on his coffee, as Ripley took her for a bouncing walk down the hall before ducking back into the dayroom.

"He plays piano?" Dean asked Vic in surprise.

"He hadn't for ages," she said, glancing over her shoulder to the dayroom. "But yes. And music really settles her. So we read her a book then we sing her to sleep."

"I tried reading," Travis said with a shrug.

"Did _you_ then try singing? Cos that would explain why she's crying..." she teased archly, and he narrowed his eyes at her.

They couldn't quite hear what Ripley was singing, but it obviously worked as about five minutes later he walked out with an asleep baby on his chest.

"My turn for cuddles," Vic said, reaching up. Ripley carefully lowered Alex into Vic's arms, and Vic gently rested her on her chest, stroking her hair.  They sat there for another hour or so, chatting quietly, before Ripley yawned, and stood.

"I'd better take this little one home," he said. Vic got up too.

"I'll bring her to the car," she said.

"Merry Christmas, all," Ripley said, shaking hands.

Dean ignored the outstretched hand. "Merry Christmas, Lucas," he said, hugging him instead. 

* * *

 

"And I think that's the reason this book holds such appeal; that distinction that we can see between that persona you put out as Chief Ripley, and then there's Lucas the husband and father and brother and friend," the host said, holding it up. "It's rare for men - even now - to talk about their feelings. And you're -  you know, a manly kind of firefighting man - and you talk in this book about your struggles and your triumphs with humility and honesty and humour - and Victoria's additions just made me really invested in the two of you and your relationship. Most of all, at its core, it's such a sweet and heartfelt message to your children, and I know in years to come they'll benefit from you having written this for them."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you," Lucas replied.

"Thank you so much for coming on the show," the host said.

"Thanks for having us," Vic replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue to come...


	40. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this last installment.
> 
> Trigger warnings for homophobia, racism, and anti-dyslexic insults. Major character death in this chapter.

**I: Edward Hugh Ripley**

Teddy sometimes wished he was an only child.

Alex was too bossy and Kit was too loud and Pippa...well, actually, Pippa was all right. Mostly. [She could be a bit annoying because she sang like, all the time].

And, well, they were too fast. Teddy was the scrawny one. Kit often teased him about the fact that even though Teddy was a year older, Kit was the same height as he was. And the others were all really sporty, and Teddy...

Well, Teddy liked rock-climbing but that was indoors. And when they went camping and they went on hikes, Mom and Dad would take turns to be the one walking with him rather than running up ahead with the others.

[As an adult, Ted would look back and realise that there's always someone who has to be the slow one. And that Mom and Dad probably actually meant it when they'd said that they liked the opportunity to just walk slowly holding Teddy's hand and talking].

Strictly speaking, they weren't supposed to go into Daddy's study when Daddy was there. It was in the loft, and he only sat there when Mommy was home. It was where he worked, and the rule was that you didn't interrupt Daddy when he was working.

But Teddy liked it up there. It was quiet.

When he'd been about four, and Alex had been imperiously bossing Kit and Pippa around in some elaborate game of wizards and knights and dragons (Daddy had read them a book about dragons the night before), Teddy had crept upstairs, unnoticed by Mommy who was busy cooking dinner.

Daddy had been busy, so Teddy quietly lay down next to the door with the dragon book.

At some point, Mom had screamed, "Lucas! Teddy's gone!" up the staircase.

Daddy had said a bad word, jumping up, and whirling around, stopping still in his tracks when he'd spotted Teddy by the door.

"No, Eggy, it's okay, he's reading in here," Daddy had hollered back. Mommy had run up and cuddled Teddy really hard, before angrily telling him to let her know next time because he scared the shii-ivers out of her.

But after that, Teddy had been welcome in Daddy's study when it was too loud downstairs. Daddy had even brought a little beanbag for him to sit on, next to the bookcase. It was there, one day, that nine year old Teddy had found it.

The spine of the book read LJ RIPLEY and VE HUGHES, which was funny, because that was almost Mommy and Daddy's names. So Teddy had pulled it out. The book was called  _Walked Through Fire_ , but more interesting than that was the front cover picture was a photo of two people in turnout jackets, backs to the photographer. The one wearing a Ripley jacket also had a white helmet, while the one wearing a Hughes jacket had a black helmet.

Teddy frantically opened it.

_For Alexandra, Grace, Edward, and our yet to be born twins for making our lives so much more beautiful than anything we thought it could be._

Who was Grace? was his first thought.

He didn't have a chance to have a second thought, because Daddy glanced over his shoulder and quickly stood up.

"Not that one, buddy," he said. 

"Did you write a book?" Teddy asked, fascinated. Daddy hesitated. 

"Yes, and one day you can read it," he said. "But nine's a bit young." And he took the book away and put it on the top of the bookshelf.

Teddy tried to be good. A whole week went by. But he couldn't stop thinking about the book.

One night, while Daddy was trying to get the twins in the bath, and Alex was running screaming around the living room, he crept upstairs. He had to climb onto Dad's chair to reach along the top of the bookcase, but he got it. He raced down and hid it under his bed.

[Alex was used to him reading under his sheets, and she never tattled on him, just like how he never tattled on her having a store of chocolate in her bedside table that she snacked on at night].

He thought the first couple of parts of the book, about Daddy and Aunty Jen was interesting. Teddy already knew that Dad and Aunty Laura had once been married, by accident, so that part wasn't interesting. He didn't quite get the middle bits, but it sounded like Dad actually hadn't liked being a firefighter if it made him so sad. Finally, (after a bit of skimming) he got to the good bit.  

 

>   _What were you thinking?_
> 
> _That was the question I have been asked countless times. By my colleagues, by my sister, by my friends, by her friends... What were you thinking when you jumped into bed with her?_
> 
> _I should backtrack._
> 
> _The first time I met Victoria, I was conducting a peer review on two of her colleagues - we needed to replace the fire captain at her station. One of the candidates had butted heads with the battalion chief that would normally have handled it, so I'd taken over the process._
> 
> _Vic came in defensive. That happens. People think that a peer review is me coming in to criticise - it's not; I want to understand what happens in the team, how the people involved act when under pressure._
> 
> _The team had had a complex call that morning. Contrary to what they all thought at the time, I didn't think either candidate had done something_ wrong _per se. But they had made mistakes. When I asked Victoria - who had shut down on me and was refusing to play the peer review game - whose fault she thought it was that things had gone poorly, she immediately blamed me. For another station not getting there fast enough._
> 
> _She then proceeded to systemically analyse the weaknesses that she saw in the department and my leadership of it._
> 
> [I was right, though]. [ _You were...partly... right. But it was overly simplistic_ ].
> 
> _The second time I interacted with her was at the skyscraper fire I mentioned earlier. I'd evacuated the building, with her team and a floor of civilians inside, because I was worried it was going to collapse like the towers had on 9/11._
> 
> _She dragged her best friend, and now a dear friend of mine, Travis, out of the building with a piece of glass sticking out of his chest. I asked if she knew where the other members of her team were, and she screamed at me for leaving them in there._
> 
> _At a scene, in front of other people._
> 
> _So our first two interactions were...not promising. I'd found her amusing the first time, the second time, I'd found her infuriating._
> 
> _I was then acting as interim Captain for six weeks at her station, waiting for their new captain to arrive. This is the period of time where everyone is convinced our relationship started, but truthfully, we didn't see much of each other._
> 
> [I was avoiding him. I thought he was a heartless, arrogant idiot]. [ _And I thought she was dangerously impulsive]._
> 
> [He was cute though. It was hard not to notice that].
> 
> [I was super hot]. [Right?].
> 
> [ _You_ are _pretty damn cute, but I had blocked that from my mind_ ]. 
> 
> _The turning point of our relationship actually happened at a peer group session, months later. I spoke about the skyscraper, and how tough I'd found it, and she came up to me and apologised to me for yelling at me at the scene._
> 
> _It was at this point that I noticed that she was - and is - drop dead beautiful. Like, the kind of attractive that still makes my knees weak. And there was something intriguing and kind of ... awesome ... about this woman who'd yelled at me twice, but only apologised for the second time because she didn't want to have made my decisions more difficult._
> 
> [He was wearing a grey sweater, and I remember thinking distinctly that I hadn't noticed how blue his eyes were or how curly his blonde-grey hair was. And he'd just got up - this guy who I thought was heartless - and talked about his feelings, not ashamed to show the fact that he teared up].
> 
> _The next time we saw each other was the night of one of her colleagues' birthdays. I was at the station supervising a joint training day between SPD and SFD, and she invited me to join her team up on the roof with cake. She was flirting with me, and I remember thinking there's nothing wrong if I just flirted a little back._
> 
> _At some point, that night, I realised that I wanted more than just a bit of flirting._
> 
> [Is that why you went so quiet?] [ _Yes_ ].
> 
> _It's a total cliche, but we were left to clean up the mess. We got talking, she asked me out for a drink, and I sort of said yes._
> 
> _Then the bar was closed. I think she knew that it would be._
> 
> [Yeah. Sort of. I thought you'd chicken out]. [ _I was ... in denial about how attracted to you I was. I thought we could go for a drink, and that would be it_ ].
> 
> _I suggested a diner nearby._
> 
> [I suggested my place].
> 
> _For a conversation. What was I thinking? I was thinking how funny and sweet and cute and clever she was. And how much I wanted to kiss her. So I followed her to her place and ... we had a conversation. A conversation that hasn't stopped since._
> 
> [For anyone reading who desperately needs details; I unlocked my door, opened it, stepped into my apartment and turned around. Lucas closed the door behind him and when he turned back to face me I kissed him. What was I thinking? I was thinking he was hella cute, surprisingly sweet and funny and that we didn't really work together so it would be fine].
> 
> _I fell in love with her over the course of about a week. I realised I was definitely in love with her when she casually mentioned that she wanted to hang-gliding and did I want to come?_
> 
> [I don't know when I fell in love with him. I realised it after we fought about something and didn't talk to each other for a couple of days. Travis suggested we break up, and I just remember that suggestion being  _devastating_. Because nothing was/is worth losing Lucas over. He was too important, and I love him far too much].

He re-read the bit about Dad meeting Mom a couple of times. And he kind of skimmed past Alex being born cos that was boring. That was how, one rainy Saturday, he was up to the part about Grace.

It was really sad, Teddy thought, to think that he had had a second big sister that had died. He wondered if Alex remembered Grace. Teddy glanced up as the door opened, too slow to hide the book.

"Teddy, dinner -" Dad was standing in the doorway of the room he shared with Alex, and Teddy watched as Dad's eyes went straight to the book. Teddy flinched. He kind of thought Dad might say something, or get mad, or take the book off him. What he didn't expect was for Dad face to go weirdly blank, so Teddy couldn't work out what he was thinking. He didn't expect him to turn, and just walk away.

"Dad!" Teddy shouted. "Daddy!" He scrambled off his bed and raced down the stairs, still holding the book. "Daddy, I'm sorry!"

"I'm going for a walk, Ted," Dad snapped, closing the door.

Teddy burst into tears.

"Teddy?" Mom sounded alarmed, as she hurried out of the kitchen. "Lucas, what - oh, Teddy." He turned to see Mom look at the book, sigh heavily, and then step forward to wrap her arms around him. "Teddy, it's okay."

"Daddy's gone," he sobbed.

"Daddy will be back," Mommy promised, rubbing his back. "It's okay. Sometimes Daddy just needs a bit of quiet to think, just like you."

He cried, and Mommy kept holding him as he did. Eventually, the tears dried up.

"Okay, Teddy Bear," Mommy said. "Come and wash your face and lets have dinner."

"'M not hungry," he mumbled.

"Ted," Mom said in her warning voice, so Teddy trailed behind her to the kitchen, washing his face and hands before sitting down at the table, trying to avoid his siblings' stares.

"What did you do?" Alex asked angrily.

"Alex!" Mom snapped.

"Is Daddy ever coming back?" Pippa asked plaintively.

"Daddy has gone for a walk," Mommy said, in the tone of voice that meant she was about to get angry. "Daddy will be back later but we're going to eat without him and then we're going to get ready for bed."

Dinner was quiet. They all went upstairs to brush their teeth, when they heard the door open. Instantly, all four of them raced to the stairs, as footsteps moved into the kitchen.

It was Daddy.

"They're fighting!" Pippa said in alarm, as they craned at the stairs.

"This is your fault if they get a divorce!" Kit said around a toothbrush and a mouthful of toothpaste, shoving Teddy.

"Cut it out," Alex said sternly to Kit. "It's not Teddy's fault if they get divorced. And they won't get divorced."

They couldn't quite hear what Mommy and Daddy were saying, but suddenly, they couldn't hear them anymore. 

"What happened?" Pippa asked.

"They're probably kissing again," Kit rolled his eyes.

"They're coming!" Alex warned as footsteps suddenly started up towards the stairs. The four of them scrambled back to their stations - Kit and Pippa fighting over the sink to brush their teeth, while Teddy and Alex raced back into their room to pretend that they'd been sitting on their beds.

A minute or two passed, before Mommy stuck her head in the doorway.

"Teddy, take the book and go upstairs to the study," she said. "Daddy wants to talk to you."

Alex shot him a sympathetic look as Teddy, stomach roiling, took the book and slowly went up the stairs.  _Don't cry_ , he told himself firmly.

The light was on, and Dad was sitting on the floor, his hair damp.

"Hi Ted," Daddy said gravely.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Teddy said in a small voice. Dad sighed.

"How much have you read?" he asked, patting the floor next to him. Teddy went and sat down, opening the book to where he was up to - Grace. Dad let out a slow whistle. "That's...wow, okay, you've read nearly all of it. Given you've read so much of it, can you work out why I didn't want you to read it yet?"

Teddy shrugged. "Cos you talk about some sad things?" he tried.

Dad nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's about right," he said. "Teddy, this book was written for all of you, so that as adults, you could feel like you knew me as an adult, not just as your dad. There's a lot of stuff about adult feelings in this book, and -" he hesitated. "I guess, I talk a lot about mistakes I've made. I've made a lot of them. And about nightmares I've had. You're ... you're still my little boy, and I was upset that you were reading it because I still want you to think of me as ... well, as Daddy, not as Lucas. Not yet."

"There was a lot of stuff in the middle I didn't quite get," Teddy confessed, hugging the book. "It sounds like being a firefighter made you sad. But you said you loved being a firefighter."

"Both things are true," Daddy said. "And that's one of those adult things - being a firefighter meant a lot to me. Being the Chief meant a lot to me and it still does. But it came with a lot of stress and worry and trauma. Do you understand?"

"I think so," Teddy said uncertainly. "I love you, Daddy. This book is really cool."

"Did you have any questions for me?" Dad asked, looking a little sad.

"Are you and Mommy gonna get a divorce?" he asked.

Daddy laughed. "No way," he said firmly, ruffling his hair. "Bear, adults fight sometimes too, and it's okay. Mommy was upset that I upset you, and I'm sorry I did. But your Mommy and I love each other very much, and I love all of you very much, and I have no intention of leaving any of you."

"I'm sorry I upset  _you_ ," Teddy said, wrapping his arms around his dad. They cuddled for a moment, and then Daddy cleared his throat, reaching for the bottom drawer of his desk.

"This is your copy," he said, drawing out another copy of the book. "This one is specifically for you." Teddy handed Daddy the other one, taking this new one.

"I can finish it?" he asked.

"I think you should, if you've read this far," Dad said. "But on two conditions. You have to talk to me - or Mommy - about anything that you read that makes you feel sad or confused or angry or that you don't understand. And you don't let your siblings take this book - they have to tell me or Mommy. Deal?"

"Deal," Teddy said, before asking quietly, "can I sleep with you tonight?" Daddy nodded, and got up slowly with a groan. The two headed down to Mommy and Daddy's room where squeals were coming from, opening the door to find a full on pillow fight in progress.

"Hey boys," Mommy said, looking at Daddy first, then at Teddy with a smile. She opened her arms, and Teddy scrambled onto the bed to give her a cuddle. "Love you, Bear."

"Love you, Mommy," he replied.

"So Teddy can still read it?" Alex asked, spotting the book Teddy was still carrying. Daddy clapped his hands. 

"Family meeting," he said, hopping under the covers next to Mommy. Teddy stayed curled up in her lap. "Okay. So, Mommy and I wrote a letter that turned into a book for you all when we found out we were pregnant with Alex. It's a book about us, so that if something happens to either of us, you still have something from us. It was a book we were going to give you to read when you were much older, but Teddy has almost finished reading it, so he's allowed to finish it. If any of you want to read it, you have to come to me or Mommy and we will talk about it first, okay?"

"Okay!" came the chorus of agreement.

"Good," Mommy said. "That's enough of that. Now, it's bedtime."

"Teddy's sleeping with us tonight," Daddy said quietly.

"I want to sleep with you!" Kit said loudly.

"Me too!" said Pippa.

Alex simply looked sad. Mommy and Daddy looked at each other, and sighed. 

"All right, if we all snuggle up we can all sleep here just for tonight," Mommy said. Teddy clambered over to slide in next to Daddy, while Alex grinned, and slid in next to him. The twins jostled for who would sleep next to Mommy, Kit getting there first.

"All right, everyone in?" Daddy asked, sliding down. "Love you all."

"Love you," everyone chorused.

"Lights out," he ordered, and Alex and Pippa (who were on the outside), clicked off the lamps.

"I love you, Vic," Daddy said quietly.

"Love you, Luke," Mommy said, just as quietly.

"Ew, are you kissing?" Kit demanded a moment later. Teddy could feel Daddy's chest rumble as he chuckled.

"Kit, it's our bed, we're going to kiss each other goodnight if we want," Mommy said sternly.

Teddy finished the book a few days later. The letter at the back for him and Kit made him cry (and he had a long talk with Mommy about it, and then she invited Uncle Dean for dinner the next night and Uncle Dean had a long talk with him about it). But reading them say that they loved him unconditionally gave him the confidence a few years later to come clean to Mom and Dad.

He wanted to be a poet.

Mommy and Daddy had looked a little surprised (years later, Teddy realised they had thought he was about to come out as gay - and he suspected it was a bit of a surprise to the whole extended family that Ted was in fact straight) but had been encouraging. Uncle Dean got invited for dinner again, and had brought a book of his favourite poems for Teddy to read. After that, Ted took his poems to them sometimes, and they would sit on their bed with him and get him to read them. They always liked them, and they asked for a copy to keep. (His very best ones Teddy copied carefully for Uncle Dean, who would come over and sit with him and read it carefully. He liked sharing them with Uncle Dean, because Uncle Dean would make suggestions on how to make them better while Mommy and Daddy just said every single one was great. Uncle Dean even shared some of his own poems with Teddy).

And when, while studying for his PhD in English Lit, he actually managed to get a small book of poems published, every single person in their extended firefighting family bought a copy and made him sign it. The book didn't sell particularly well - poems not being exactly popular literature - but Teddy couldn't help but be pleased that the whole family - even Alex who hated reading - read them and made a point of saying which was their favourite. 

It was the first time that Teddy saw Uncle Dean cry when he read the dedication.

 

>   _To Lucas Ripley & Victoria Hughes for being the best Daddy and Mommy a boy could hope for. I have no words to express the depth of love and gratitude I have for you both._
> 
> _And for Dean Miller, who sat on the porch with a little kid and encouraged the poetry in his soul by reading that boy's terrible, childish poems and always finding something to praise, and more importantly, something to improve about each one. I love you, Uncle Dean._

* * *

**II: Philippa Jane Ripley**

Kit was THE MOST ANNOYING person ever. And because they were twins, they were in the same class at school, and they shared a room. Sometimes, Pippa wished she didn't have a twin.

When they turned nine, Mommy and Daddy held a family meeting.

"You're all getting older," Daddy said. "And Mommy and I have noticed that the amount of fights is increasing between all of you, and we think you all need a bit more space. So we're making a few changes."

"Daddy's going to move his study from the loft room to the living room," Mommy said. "The loft room will become a bedroom. Daddy's going to also turn the upstairs rumpus room into a bedroom, so all your toys need to go  _downstairs_ to the living room."

"One condition of that is that you will now definitely need to clean up when you're done playing with your toys. Mommy and I have let you leave toys out because we don't use this upstairs rumpus, but we all use the living room."

"Wait, so there's a room each?" Kit asked, and Pippa felt the same disappointment keenly. They shared a glance.

He might be the most annoying person ever, but Kit was still her bestest friend in the world.

"That's right," Mommy said. "And we think the fairest way to work out who gets what room is for you all to pick them out of a hat."

"Can I have the loft room though, please?" Teddy asked.

"Can I stay in my room?" Alex asked.

"Do we have to move rooms?" Kit asked quietly.

Mommy and Daddy exchanged glances.

"Kit and Pippa, you two are  _always_ fighting," Daddy said. "All Mommy and I have heard for the last year is how messy Kit is, how annoying Pippa is, and it's driving us nuts."

"We won't fight anymore," Pippa promised. Alex and Teddy laughed, and Pippa and Kit glared at them.

"You're all getting older and you all need your own space," Mommy said in her I-Mean-Business tone.

"I'll take the rumpus," Kit volunteered suddenly. 

"It's going to be a pretty small room, buddy," Daddy said, uncertainly. "See -" he went over and marked out where he said he would build a wall. "It'll fit a single bed and a cupboard and that's it."

"I'll be like Harry Potter!" Kit said excitedly. "And it's next to our room, if Pippa stays in our room, Alex stays in hers, and Teddy moves to the loft."

Mom and Dad glanced at each other. "Let's build the room first and make sure you're okay with choosing the smallest room," Mommy said.

It did end up beinga small room, but Kit nodded and asked if he could have a Hogwarts house banner in it to make it more like Harry Potter.

The first few days, Kit snuck back into their room and slept on the floor with his blankets. But slowly, they began to get used to not sleeping in the same room - after all, Kit could now make as much mess as he liked (or really, as Mommy would let him make) and they did spend all the rest of their time together. They made sure to have Twin Time right before bedtime, which was nice.

Because it was kind of lonely without Kit. Pippa knew it was silly to feel lonely in such a big family, but Alex was the sporty one and she was always playing tennis these days (why Mom and Dad thought tennis would be a good idea and not a sport that didn't involve quite so much hitting was a mystery), Teddy was always reading and scribbling in the little leather book Daddy had bought him for Christmas, and Kit was always running around trying to impress Alex or helping Mommy cook.

"You okay, Pipsqueak?" Daddy asked one day, passing her sitting on the stairs. 

Pippa let out a big sigh. "Yeah," she said, resting her head on her hands.

"That's a big sigh," Daddy sat down next to her. "What's wrong?"

Pippa hesitated. "I miss Kit, sort of," she admitted. "But I'm really glad we don't share a room. His room is so smelly and messy."

Daddy laughed. "It really is," he agreed. "It's okay to feel sad about getting older and growing up. He's still your twin."

"Yeah," Pippa sighed. 

"So you're just chilling on the stairs?" Daddy asked.

Pippa hesitated, but she'd been curious ever since Teddy had read it. [And she was jealous that Teddy got to have these chats with Mommy and Daddy, after dinner, in their room].

"Can I read it?" she asked nervously.

Daddy's expression shifted for a moment, and he looked down before letting out a strange laugh.

"Guess I need to take my own advice about you all growing up," he said, more to himself, Pippa thought. "Okay. Come with me."

They went downstairs to Daddy's desk, and he opened the bottom drawer to pull out a copy of the book.

"So, the rule is that you have to come and talk to us about it," Daddy said firmly. "You can talk to Mommy instead, but it has to be one of us if you feel upset or confused or angry or sad about anything, okay?"

"Deal," Pippa said, taking the book. She ran upstairs to her room, and opened it straight away. Her Dad's messy handwriting mixed in with Mom's neater print covered the front page.

 

>   _Dear Pippa,_
> 
> _We wrote this book before you were born._ [Technically, before I was even pregnant with you].  _It was published while Mommy was pregnant with you and Kit, so that's why we talk about Alex, and about Ted, but not about you and Kit._
> 
> _This book is as much for you and Kit as it was for Alex and Ted._ _More, possibly, given that you're younger and we're not going to have as much time with you_. [I'm ignoring Daddy's melodramatics here to acknowledge that that's a bit true. Because there'll be four of you, we won't have as much one on one time with you and Kit. We're sorry about that]. 
> 
> _It's important for you to know that we love you and Kit so much, and we are so happy that we had the two of you._ [Our lives would be so much less fun and colourful without our twinnies livening things up].  _Just because we didn't expect to have you doesn't mean you weren't any less wanted - we wanted to have you both as much as we wanted to have Alex and Ted._ [You complete our family].
> 
> _Love always, Daddy and Mommy_

Pippa found it very sad. She cried through the first chapter, when Daddy's parents died, imagining what they would do if Mommy and Daddy died. [Alex would be all right at looking after the rest of them - she was bossy enough. Teddy would probably be okay at looking after them, and Kit could do the cooking. Pippa wasn't sure what she would do].

She knew Daddy had accidentally married Aunty Laura once, but she cried when she read about how Aunty Laura and Daddy had gone to New York and how Daddy had nearly died then.

["Do you wish you were still married to Aunty Laura?" she asked Daddy nervously. Dad's eyes had widened in surprise, and he'd laughed.

"No, baby girl," he said. "No, no. We were very unhappy when we were married, and now we're very happy being good friends."

"Did you kiss her? Is it weird that you kissed her?" 

Daddy's face was a little red, and he nodded. "Yeah, we kissed. But it's not weird any more because it's so long ago. I'm very happy for her to kiss Uncle Steve, and she's very happy for me to kiss your Mommy, and neither of us want to kiss each other now."

Mommy had walked into the kitchen then, and had grinned at Daddy. "What's this talk about kissing, baby?"

"Pippa's reading about Laura," Daddy answered.

"Mommy, did you kiss other people before you met Daddy?" Pippa asked. Mommy had coughed, and nodded. "Oh, that's okay then."

Daddy had looked confused. "What -"

"You both kissed other people first, so it's even," Pippa said. Mommy and Daddy laughed. And then kissed each other. Pippa said 'ew' because she was expected to, but secretly she thought it was _very romantic_ ].

Pippa got to the part where Daddy talked about going to work and remembering what had happened in New York and cried.

"Pippa, are you sure you want to read this?" Teddy had asked, sounding worried. "You're just...crying over the whole book."

"Didn't you find it sad?" Pippa demanded.

"Yes, but ... I don't think Mommy and Daddy want you to cry," Teddy said, giving her a hug.

"I want to read it," she repeated. Teddy had looked at her closely, and Pippa wasn't surprised when Mommy knocked on her door that night and sat on her bed and checked on her.

"You don't have to read this book yet, Pipsqueak," Mommy said. "If it's making you sad -"

"Daddy sounds so unhappy," Pippa said, pointing at the book. "He's having nightmares, and he's scared."

"Daddy is very brave," Mommy said gently. "Daddy helped a lot of people in his work, and sometimes that can be scary."

"Do you get scared when you're at work?" Pippa asked. Mom hesitated.

"Yes," Mom said after a moment. "There's a part here where I talk about blue fire - have you reached that?" Pippa shook her head, and Mommy took the book, frowning a bit as she flicked forward a couple of pages. "Here, why don't you read this?"

 

> It was early on in my career that we came across it. We arrived at the scene to find a man lying next to an overturned semi, while another was trapped in a car. Warren and I ran forward to help the man in the middle of the road.
> 
> Suddenly, there was a commotion, and Herrera ordered the lights to turn off.
> 
> I remember seeing that ring of blue fire around us - invisible in the light. We were on aid car duty, so we weren't wearing turnouts.
> 
> The heat was unbelievable. Our boots were melting to the road. Every breath we took burned our lungs.
> 
> Our team backed the engine up, and we jumped on to drive over the fire [ _In the process, melting that set of tyres - the right decision, but that's how hot the fire was_ ].
> 
> I was terrified of fire for months after that. All I could remember was the heat, and the feeling of being suffocated, and I just kept thinking I wasn't ready to die. Should I have quit? Maybe. But what else would I have done? I love being a firefighter and an EMT; I love the adrenaline and I love helping people.
> 
> My team found out - you can't keep anything secret for long in a fire station - and rallied behind me. We did practice runs with fire, we kept me off frontline duty, we managed it.
> 
> Until the skyscraper.
> 
> I was supposed to be safe, upstairs, helping evacuate a floor. But there was an explosion, and the floor caught fire, and I think Maya was scared I'd freeze. But it was like a switch flicked back on in my brain as I heard the screams around me.
> 
> I was scared, yes, but that was good. That was healthy. I knew how dangerous it was and I wanted to help. And helping people was more important than me being scared.

"Being scared is something that happens every day," Mommy said gently. "It's what you do with the fear that matters. Like you and Kit were scared when he moved out of this room, but you did it and you worked out a way to spend time with each other - and have you noticed you don't fight as much?" Pippa nodded.

"But that's very different to being scared of fire or buildings collapsing."

"Fear is fear," Mom said simply. "It doesn't matter what it's about." Pippa nodded, and they sat in silence for a few moments. "You don't have to finish the book Pippa if it makes you sad."

Pippa shook her head. "I ... want to," she said. "It has a happy ending, right?" Mommy smiled.

"It has a very happy ending," she said. "It ends in me and Daddy falling in love and having you all."

Pippa cried when she read about Grace. So did Kit, who'd started reading the book too. Mommy was at work, but Daddy had heard them crying in her room.

"Kids?" he'd asked, looking worried.

"Where's Grace?" Kit asked. "Is she in a graveyard? Do you miss her still?"

Daddy looked sad, and came into her room, sitting on the bed with them.

"Of course I miss her," he said, wrapping an arm around each of them. "She isn't in a graveyard. We..." he hesitated. "You know the maple tree in the backyard? We buried her in that little section of the garden and Mommy and I planted that tree on top of where she sleeps."

"So she's close to us?" Kit checked. Daddy nodded.

"Do you think she's lonely?" Pippa asked.

"I think," Daddy looked like he was about to cry too. "I think she hears you all running around and playing and is glad you're having fun. And my parents and Mommy's parents are looking after her so she's not lonely."

Kit nodded, apparently satisfied, but Pippa couldn't stop thinking about her.

She wondered what Grace would've been like. How she would've fit in with them. Alex was sporty, Teddy was nerdy, Kit was funny, and Pippa was... well Pippa was Pippa. Maybe Grace would've been the smart one.

"Why did Grace die?" she asked the next day after breakfast.

Daddy took in a deep breath. "Sometimes, babies just aren't healthy," he said. "There's sometimes no reason."

"Maisie at school, her grandma died, and she said that her Mom said it was God's will," Pippa mentioned. "Do you think that's what it was?"

Daddy stopped loading the dishwasher, and leaned back against the counter.

"God's a funny subject," he said slowly. "I don't know if I believe in God."

Pippa frowned. "I thought you either thought there was a God or didn't think there was one?"

"Well," Daddy said. "I don't know if God exists. On one hand, I'd like to believe He does. On the other hand, it's hard to look at sad things that happen and think that something that is supposed to be kind would let those things happen."

"Like Grace?"

"Like Grace," Dad confirmed. "I'd like to think that if God and Heaven exist, then what matters is what you do during your life; whether you are a good person. That has to matter more than going to Church every weekend surely."

"What matters is helping people?" Pippa said.

"That's what I think," Dad said. "I don't think there's a right or a wrong answer, and different people will think different things."

Later, when Mommy got home from work, Pippa asked her. "I don't think there's a God, baby," Mom said. "Too many bad things happen for me to think there's a God."

Pippa sort of thought she agreed with Mommy. It seemed unfair that Grace wasn't alive.

"Maybe I could be the smart one, for you," she said one afternoon to the maple tree. Pippa had started spending more time outside, more time with Grace. "And find out why some babies just don't live."

It was a childish promise, perhaps, but as Pippa grew older, she found herself sticking to it. Partly for Grace, partly for Mom and Dad [and every time she re-read the chapter about Grace, she cried again].

She was a medical student when Dad got sick. She cried, one afternoon, at his hospital bedside, feeling selfish for being upset that he'd never see her graduate medical school, would never be proud of her for becoming an OBGYN for her long-dead sister.

"I am proud, though," Daddy said wheezily. "Even if you decide not to finish medical school, or decide to do a different specialty, I'm so proud of you for how hard you've worked and for the person that you are - the person that wants to help people."

Pippa could only cry more at that, glancing across to her mother who had basically not left Dad's side. "I learned from the best."

[She never did end up managing to find out why some babies died. But she did her best to bring as many babies as healthy as possible into the world. And Mom and Dad had been right - every single day she was scared, scared she'd made a mistake and someone would die. But fear is just fear and what mattered was the fact that she took a deep breath, used all her training and knowledge and compassion, and made the best decision she could]. 

* * *

**III: Christopher James Ripley**

Kit really only read the book because Pippa was reading it, and Pippa was getting to talk lots with Mom and Dad.

And he and Pippa were - not the same, exactly, but ...  _twins_. They did things together. So he read as fast as he could to catch up to Pippa, so they could finish the book together. Pippa cried over every section. Kit didn't - but he did cry over Grace with her. 

They finished the book, both of them a little disappointed that they weren't in it more. 

"What would you write if you wrote about us?" Kit asked Daddy one morning before school. He could see Pippa leaning in to listen.

"I'd write that we hadn't expected to be so lucky as to get two more children, one a loud cheeky boy, and the other our sensitive, sweet, girl," Daddy said after a moment, winking at Pippa. "You know, that's why the Irvingtons have three children; they wanted a sweet little girl like they thought we had in Alex."

Alex and Teddy pulled faces.

"Has anyone  _ever_ described Alex as a sweet little girl?" Teddy asked sceptically, earning himself a slug in the arm from Alex. "Ow! Alex!"

Kit and Pippa exchanged rolled eyes. Alex and Teddy were so predictable.

"Don't punch your brother," Dad said automatically. "And no, Alex is our tomboy."

"I'm tough," Alex said, narrowing her eyes.

"So's Pippa, and so's Teddy, and so's Kit," Daddy said quickly. "They just manage to do it without punching everyone, munchkin."

"Maybe you should've taken up boxing, not tennis," Kit said thoughtfully.

"You want her to be more of a weapon?" Pippa asked incredulously.

Kit ended up rereading the book shortly after Pippa had finished it - he'd skimmed past so quickly to catch up that he missed most of the first half of the book. As he got older, he made a point of rereading it every year [he wasn't the only one; Teddy and Pippa reread it every year, and after they all realised that they all did, they tried to make sure that they reread it together]. Every year he found something new, and more meaningful, and every year, the three of them sat down with Mom and Dad and talked about it. 

Kit thought it was interesting how each of them gravitated to different sections of the book. Pippa was  _obsessed_ with the section about Grace, which made sense, because she was the sensitive one of them. And it marked the first real separation between them, when Pippa announced she was going to be a doctor to find out why Grace died.

Teddy was the romantic one. Sensitive, in a different way to Pippa. He liked the bit about Mom and Dad meeting the best, and Kit teased him mercilessly for being a  _girl_  for all of about a week before Daddy caught on and got angry at him.

["What's wrong with being a girl, Kit?" Dad demanded. "Mom's a girl. Alex is a girl. Pippa's a girl."

"Nothing," Kit muttered, looking at the floor.

"Teddy's allowed to like romantic things," Daddy said, more gently. "That's not a girly or a boyish thing, that's just a human thing. Some people are more romantic than others. I'm far more romantic than your mother. Now, go and apologise to your brother."]

Alex didn't have a favourite section, because she refused to read it. As years passed, Kit found that increasingly annoying, and Alex seemed to find their obsession with the book annoying too.

"Why do you even like it so much?" Alex snapped one night, as the three of them were re-reading it at dinner. [Mom and Dad had a date night, and Alex was now old enough to babysit. By which everyone understood that she was responsible for calling Mom and Dad in if something happened, and they'd all just do what they liked].

Anger flared in Kit.

"Not all of us will get to spend time as an adult with Dad," he snapped. 

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"He was fifty-three when me and Pip were born," Kit pointed out. "When we're twenty-five, he'll be seventy-eight. That's damn old, Alex. He's probably not going to live long enough to see Pippa become a doctor, even if she does everything as early as possible. He'll hopefully see Teddy write his poetry book, but he might die before that happens. And he's never..." he faltered, unwilling to say what he wanted his dad to see him do. "Anyway, let us enjoy the book. It's not our fault you can't read."

The silence was deafening. They never talked about the fact that Alex was dyslexic.

Alex's face hardened. "It's not my fault Mom and Dad didn't plan to have you," she sniped.

Yelling instantly broke out, as Pippa joined him in screaming at her.

"Shut UP!" Teddy shouted, uncharacteristically. He glared at Alex, then at Kit. "You were both horrible just now. Apologise to each other."

Alex and Kit glared at him.

"What, you want Mom and Dad to come home to this?" Teddy said. "Apologise!"

"Sorry, Kit," Alex muttered to the table.

"Sorry, Alex," Kit said to her left ear. They finished dinner in a stony silence, and retreated to their rooms.

He heard the tread of Mom and Dad's footsteps as they re-entered the house, and heard Teddy call for Mom and Dad. So Kit was unsurprised when, ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?" he grunted, and the door swung open. Dad was still in his good jeans and sweater. 

"Can I come in?" he asked. Kit nodded, sitting up in bed, leaving the book open on his lap. Dad came in and sat on the end of his bed. "Teddy said you had an argument with Alex."

"It was stupid," he muttered, glaring at the book.

"She doesn't have to read it -" Dad began to say, but the anger was still roiling in his gut.

And so he lashed out. "Well, it doesn't matter to her," Kit said angrily. "Because you'll probably still be young enough to watch her win the US Open or whatever. Whereas me? And Pip? We'll be lucky if you're alive to see us graduate high school - you could have some fucking heart attack -"

"Language!"

"You wrote in the first chapter," Kit continued, ignoring his dad, stabbing down at the book. "You wrote about how much it  _sucked_ that your parents died when you were young. And yet you had us, knowing that you were old, knowing that you were going to die when we were young. What the hell is with that?!"

Dad's face went neutral, and he opened his mouth to say something when Mom stalked into the room.

"I could hear you yelling up the corridor, Christopher," she snapped. "How  _dare_ you talk to your father like that."

"It's as much your fault as his," Kit didn't care, even though Mom pulled out his real name. "You didn't want kids, you put it off, you talk about it in the book. Why bother having us if you didn't want us?"

Mom glared at him. "Are you quite done being ridiculous?" she demanded. "Christopher, your father and I love you all very much, and we wanted you more than anything. You've read the book, I'd hope your comprehension skills allow you to understand that our relationship was complicated to start with, and I wanted to make sure that we were stable before we introduced kids into the mix."

"Well, it wouldn't have been complicated if you'd both followed the rules," he muttered mutinously.

"You wouldn't exist, and neither would Pippa, or Alex, or Ted," Dad cut in. "Do you really think that's better?"

Kit didn't exactly have a retort to that.

"Having children doesn't make a relationship easier," Mom said. "It makes it harder. I don't apologise for delaying having children - I was allowed to decide when  _I_ was ready. And, you know what? Yes, Dad's a bit older than most of your friends' dads. But you've also had a stay at home dad. You've never been in daycare. You and your siblings have had more time with both of us than most people spend with their parents, so I'd like you to remember that."

"Alex doesn't have to read the book if she doesn't want to," Dad said, sounding tired, and looking a bit sad now. "I love you very much, Kitster."

"So do I," Mom said, looking stern. "Goodnight."

It was like a gut punch, as Dad leaned forward and kissed his forehead, before letting Mom pull him to his feet. His parents shut the door behind them, saying nothing more. 

He couldn't sleep. He kept reading the book, and got to the letter to him and Teddy. In his copy of the book, Mom and Dad had written on the letter.

 

> _Dear Christopher (or Kitster, as Teddy says...I wonder if that will stick)_ [Does it have to? We liked the name  _Chris_ ].  _Yeah, but Kit has a nice ring to it too._ [Just, will kids tease him and call him Kitty or something?]  _Let's see. Ted and Alex might stop calling him that, and we might be back to Chris._
> 
> _Anyway. You're the baby of the family, following your sister out of 'the sunroof' by two minutes._ [Can we please stop referring to my stomach as the sunroof?!] _. We love you very much. It's no secret that you and Pippa were unexpected - and please note, we want to use that word unexpected rather than unplanned. Mom and I were...trying without trying._ [We thought that if we had another child, we'd consider that a bonus, but we were happy with the two we had].  _And we didn't expect to get pregnant, but we did, and we were over the moon about it. We love you._
> 
> _You're not quite as dark as Teddy, but your hair is definitely more of an Afro already. So I'm not sure if people will see you and know you're African American or not. but to be on the safe side, I'm going to assume that you're going to need to be careful too._
> 
> [We might have two sons, but we're not prepared to lose either of you].
> 
> _We can't wait to see you grow up. We've said it throughout the book, I hope, but know that you don't have to be anything except yourself. Because at the moment all you're doing is sleeping, drooling, pooing, peeing, and feeding_ [AND CRYING], _and we love you for that. We just want you to be happy._
> 
> [And safe].

Kit sniffled, trying to stop the tears forming in his eyes. He glanced at his watch - 0207, and got up, tiptoeing past Pippa's door on the right and Alex's door on the left. He tried Mom and Dad's door but it was locked.

He hesitated, before taking a deep breath and knocking quietly. [He tried not to think about why it was locked]. He waited a minute, then knocked again. There was some murmuring.

"One second," Mom said quietly, and Kit heard rustling and footsteps as the door was opened. Mom stood in the doorway, wearing one of Dad's giant shirts, stifling a yawn. "Kit?"

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, rushing forward and hugging his Mom. He was up to her ear, now, nearly her height. Mom stroked his neck, giving him a tight hug back. 

"I forgive you," she said, just as quietly. 

"I wanted to say sorry to Dad too," Kit said with a sniffle. "Is he awake?"

"Yeah," Dad's voice rumbled from their bed, and Mom released him. Dad flicked on the lamp, and Kit squinted against the light, stumbling to their bed and avoiding the pile of clothes on the floor. He scrambled up and gave Dad a hug, resting his cheek against Dad's heart, reassured by its loud thumps.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," he said.

"It's okay, Kit," Dad said gently. "Why are you so upset that Alex doesn't want to read it?"

Kit hesitated. "I guess I'm annoyed she doesn't have to," he said quietly.

"You know there's only five years between you?" Dad said. "I know it feels like a lot, but there's not a lot of difference between twenty-five and thirty."

"There is a big difference between fifteen and twenty," Kit replied.

"Well, I reckon I have more than four years left in me," Dad said, ruffling his hair. 

Kit pulled back, sitting cross-legged on their bed. Mom had hopped back in the other side, and had snuggled in next to Dad with a yawn. Kit opened his mouth and hesitated, and Daddy raised his eyebrow.

"It's just...Alex doesn't have to read it to know she's like Mom, all strong and tough and loud," he said quickly. "And Ted's like you, Dad, quiet and read-y, and sensible; and Pippa's kind of a mix of both of you although she's more like you Dad, and then there's me, and I'm not like either of you -"

"Woah," Dad held up his hand, interrupting the rush of words. "Woah, buddy. You know, Alex is a bit like Mom. But she's really just Alex - she's single-minded and ambitious in a way that Mom isn't. And Ted's just Ted, Mom likes her quiet time more than I do - I might not say as much -"

Mom poked him in the stomach, and he grinned down at her. 

"But actually I prefer being with people and Mom needs her space. So Ted's ... just Ted. And Pippa's her own person too, she's sensible and level-headed and compassionate and I'd like to think that we both have those qualities but Pippa takes them and makes them her own."

"And you," Mom added. "You're your own person, Kit. You don't need to be like either of us, but you have your Dad's gift of relating to people and getting them involved in conversation."

"And you definitely have Mom's temper," Dad said, wincing as Mom prodded him in the stomach again. "But the rest of it is _you_ , and that's better than being either of us."

Kit was quiet for a long moment.

"Teddy's favourite part of the book is when you two meet," he said. "And he wants to be a poet." Mom and Dad were clearly not sure where he was going with this, but listened patiently. "Pippa's favourite bit is about Grace, although I don't know that she likes it, exactly, just that it means the most to her and it matters to her. And she wants to be a doctor."

"What's your favourite part?" Dad asked gently, when he hesitated.

"You being in New York," he mumbled. "Where you talk about going into the towers and finding people to help. Even though it was hard." Kit paused again. "I just...what if I become a firefighter and never get promoted?"

Mom sat up, disentangling from Dad.

"There's zero expectation for any of you to become firefighters," she said firmly. 

"And  _if_ you choose to," Dad added. "The most important people to any fire department are the people you're helping. And it doesn't matter what rank you are; that's what you're there to do.  _If_ you want to be a firefighter, we'll be so proud of you no matter whether you stay unranked forever or whether you become Chief. And if you change your mind and  _don't_ become a firefighter, or become one and then stop, we'll be so proud of you."

"I want to be one," Kit admitted.

[Dad demanded to be let out of hospital for his graduation. He and Mom carefully helped Dad dress in his uniform - the first time Kit had ever actually seen Dad wear it. The gold cuffs were faded now, but the badges were still shiny, and Dad looked suddenly far less sick in the uniform even though he still needed to stay in his wheelchair. Mom wore her uniform too.

He didn't realise that the Chief - a guy called Houssein - had known his Dad. But Houssein paused, shaking his hand.

"We can expect great things from you, Christopher," he said. "Your Dad is my hero, and your Mom would be one of my Battalion Chiefs if she stopped turning down the damn promotion. I'm looking forward to seeing what you do."

"Thank you, sir," Kit said. He was proud that his dad's impact was still evident, but at the same time, uncomfortable with that pressure. He walked over to his parents, who were beaming.

"Remember," Dad said, gripping his hand as hard as he could. "I'm proud of you for being who you are. It has nothing to do with what rank you reach, or what job you do."

Dad didn't live to see him make Lieutenant. But he wore Dad's name badge - because, after all, Ripley was his name - and Mom and Darren stood in the crowd instead.

He didn't quite follow his Dad's meteoric rise in the SFD, but he rose slowly, and steadily through the ranks. And he was fine with that, because he and Darren had two beautiful kids along the way, and Kit took time off to be with them. His retired Mom cried on Darren's arm as he was promoted - at the age of fifty-five, older than Daddy had been when he retired - to Chief, proudly wearing his Dad's faded uniform which was just an inch too short].

* * *

**IV: Alexandra Louise Ripley**

"What do you think you're doing?" she shouted, racing across the playground to where some stupid boy had just pushed Teddy off the swings. Her brother took off his glasses, now splattered with mud, and glared at the larger boy. "Leave him alone!"

"Awww, your girlfriend's here to protect you, nerd!" sniggered the boy.

"Ew, she's my sister!" Teddy said, as Alex said, "gross, he's my brother you idiot."

"That makes more sense," the boy said. "But seriously, what kind of sissy faggot are you to need your sister to fight your battles?"

Alex saw red, and punched him as hard as she could. They were rolling in the dirt by the time the teacher came to separate them, and were sat on opposite sides of the bench outside the principal's office, with Teddy crying quietly next to her as Alex held an icepack to her left eye and the other boy held a wad of bloody tissues to his nose.

Daddy arrived first, looking stern, and coming over to them. The principal called them into her office.

"We don't encourage fighting," Mrs Starr said firmly.

"He was pushing Teddy and calling him names," Alex objected. "Nobody's allowed to push Teddy. Or call him names." Mrs Starr's expression softened a little as she looked at her first grader brother who was sitting on Daddy's lap, still crying.

"What would have been a better way of handling it, Alex?" Daddy asked gently.

Alex grumbled. 

"What was that?" Dad prompted.

"Walk away and tell a teacher," Alex droned.

"That's right," Mrs Starr said. 

"But he was pushing him and calling him names," Alex objected.

"Alexandra," Daddy said warningly.

"You still need to come and get a teacher," Mrs Starr said. "Fighting is not allowed. I want you to think about that this afternoon and over the weekend." She looked at Daddy. "I'm suspending her for the afternoon, as I'll be suspending the other boy. Ted is welcome back in class, but -" she looked at him sympathetically.

"No, I'll take Ted home too," Daddy said, reaching for Alex's hand. "I'll chat with them."

It wasn't until they got to the car that Alex remembered to ask Daddy.

"What's a faggot?" she asked, as Teddy was buckled into his carseat. Daddy stood up so quickly he hit his head on the car door.

"What?" he rubbed his head.

"That's what the stupid boy called me," Teddy said. Daddy's expression changed, and he glared at the school behind them.

"You know what, let's talk about it over milkshakes," he said after a moment, before helping Alex buckle into her seat. He got in the front seat, and turned the engine on. They sat there while he called Mommy. "Hey, Eggy."

Mommy's voice came over the car system. "What happened?" 

"Another kid -"

"A BIGGER kid," Alex interrupted.

"Was pushing Teddy and Alex's fists got involved," Daddy said. "He was also calling Teddy names, and one of them was..." he hesitated. "The F-A-G-G-O-T word. The kids are asking me what it is. I was thinking milkshakes and Uncle Travis might be a good idea."

There was a long pause.

"I'll call Travis and meet you at the diner with the twins," Mommy said, sounding angry. "Have you got Bear? Is he okay?"

"Mommy I have dirt on me," Teddy said.

"I'll bring you some clean clothes, baby," she said. "Do you need clean clothes too, munchkin?"

"Maybe," Alex said, glancing at her overalls which were covered in dirt.

"Yes," Daddy said firmly. "We'll meet you there."

They got to the diner first, and Daddy took them into the restroom to clean their hands again. Alex ordered a strawberry milkshake, Teddy got a vanilla one, and Daddy got a chocolate one for him and a coffee for Mommy and a coffee for Uncle Travis. Mommy arrived before their drinks came, and she immediately cuddled both of them.

"You okay?" she asked them.

"I'm okay, Mommy," Teddy said.

"My eye hurts," Alex said, and Mommy looked angry again as she brushed some of the hair out of Alex's eye. 

"This other kid -"

"Has a broken nose," Daddy interrupted proudly. "Alex gave as good as she got."

"Good girl," Mommy said, kissing her head. "But next time, get a -"

"Teacher, I know," Alex said with a big sigh.

"Let's get you two changed," Mommy said, getting the bag from the pram and taking them to the restroom, leaving the twins with Daddy. When they left the restroom, Uncle Travis had arrived and was sitting across from Daddy with Kit on his lap, while Daddy had Pippa on his lap and was letter her have some of his chocolate milkshake. Alex scrambled next to Daddy where her strawberry milkshake was, while Teddy sat on Mommy's lap with his vanilla milkshake.

"Hey guys," Uncle Travis said.

"Hi Uncle Travis," Alex and Teddy chorused.

"Sounds like a big day at school," Uncle Travis said, sounding unhappy. Alex nodded.

"What's a faggot?" Teddy asked impatiently.

The adults exchanged glances.

"It's a very rude word," Mommy said. "That I don't want to hear either of you  _ever_ say. Do you understand me?"

Alex and Teddy nodded, a little scared.

"Okay," Mommy said. 

"What does it mean?" Alex asked nervously after a moment. The adults looked at each other again.

"When boys grow up, sometimes they're like your Daddy, and they love a woman like your Mommy very much," Uncle Travis said. "Sometimes, though, they grow up and like me, they like other men. That's called being gay."

"Gay also means happy," Teddy said.

"Yes," Uncle Travis said. "But some people don't want men to like other men. They think that everyone should like someone who is a different gender to them."

Alex frowned. "But you can't help who you like, right Uncle Travis?"

"That's right," Uncle Travis said.

"And those people who think that men should only like women are wrong," Daddy interrupted firmly. "Men can like other men. Some men even like both men and women. Some women like other women, like Aunty Cindy and Aunty Deb. And some women, like Aunty Maya, like both men and women."

"So does Uncle Jack like both men and women too?" Teddy asked.

"No," Mommy said. "But he doesn't mind that Aunty Maya likes women too."

"That word that Teddy was called was a very rude word for a gay man," Uncle Travis said. 

"It's like saying the N-word," Daddy said. Alex and Teddy knew what that word meant. 

"Ohhhh," Teddy said.

"So we don't ever say it," Mommy said. "Because it's said by people who think being gay is wrong." 

"But it's not," Daddy said firmly. "When you grow up, it doesn't matter whether you like men or women or both or neither. All that matters is that if you like someone, they have to like you back, and you both have to agree to kiss if you decide you want to kiss."

"Ewwww," Alex said, making a face. The adults chuckled, and they started talking about more fun things, like how Uncle Travis was going to take Alex cycling this weekend. [He'd offered to take Teddy cycling too, but Teddy hated cycling].

Nothing happened at school for a week, but then, one afternoon, Alex saw the red-headed bully again.

"Get off the swing, you little faggot!" the bully (who she and Teddy had worked out was in second grade, between them). He pushed Teddy off the swing. Teddy got up, cleaning his glasses again, as Alex ran over.

"I'd rather be a faggot than a stupid bully," Teddy announced proudly. Alex could see that this confused the bully, as she stepped in front of her brother. The bully was a little bit bigger than her, for all that she was in the grade above him.

"Well," the bully said, looking confused. "It's your stupid sister protecting you again. But I guess you niggers always stick together."

"Alex -" Teddy said, but it was too late, as Alex crunched the bully's nose again, and he slammed his fist into her other eye.

This time, Daddy wasn't the first to arrive. The other boy's father arrived, giving them a look of disdain. Alex glared at him as hard as she could.

Daddy raced in a few minutes later with the twins in their pram. "Alex, I told you to -" he cut himself off as the other boy's father turned around in surprise. "De Vrietz."

"Ripley."

Teddy and Alex shrunk closer to each other - Daddy looked  _angrier_ than they'd ever seen him.

"Covered in kids, I see," De Vrietz said nastily.

"Happily so," Daddy replied, with a thin smile. "I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

"Nor yours," De Vrietz glared at Alex. "Your kid's got her mother's lack of discipline."

"My kid's got her mother's courage, in standing up to a coward who has to bully a first grader," Daddy said coldly.

"My son's not a coward!" De Vrietz objected.

"He wasn't picking on my daughter, who's still smaller than him," Daddy pointed out. "He was picking on my son, who's a lot younger and a lot smaller."

The door to Mrs Starr's office opened and she invited them in. 

"I've got the twins today," Daddy shook his head, gesturing to the pram where they were sleeping. Mrs Starr looked a little surprised, but nodded, and ended up taking her receptionist's chair while the other man sat next to the bully and Daddy stood with the pram.

"What happened today, Jakob?" she asked the bully.

"That kid wouldn't get off the swing," he muttered, pointing at Teddy.

"You didn't ask," Teddy retorted. "You just pushed me off the swing then called me a bad word!"

"What word did he say?" Mrs Starr asked.

"He called Teddy the f- word that we can't say," Alex said, looking to Daddy. "The mean one about gay people."

Daddy looked angry again.

"Is this true, Jakob?" Mrs Starr asked. The bully shrugged. "I see. What did you do, Alex?"

"I was just standing there so he wouldn't push Teddy again," Alex said. "And then he called us the n-word so I punched him."

"Remember last time we talked about getting a teacher?" Mrs Starr said firmly.

"You can't call people the n-word," Alex said angrily.

"You also can't punch people, girl," De Vrietz said, shooting a glance at Daddy. "Like I said, no discipline. Just like her mother."

"I'd rather have to talk to my daughter about walking away from a fight than have her be racist or homophobic," Daddy said, glaring at the other man.

"You two know each other?" Mrs Starr asked, looking nervous.

"Unfortunately," Daddy said.

"I know their mother as well," De Vrietz said, and Daddy's jaw clenched.

"Regardless," Mrs Starr said, obviously trying to move on. "Alex, we talked about how we should find a teacher instead of having a fight, so I'm suspending you for today and you have detention for the rest of the week. Jakob, we talked about how we never say the f-word, and we should never say the n-word either, and about how we are not to push other people. You're suspended for seven days, and if this ever happens again, I will be expelling you."

"That's clearly unfair," De Vrietz protested.

"Your son instigated the fight, Mr De Vrietz," Mrs Starr said. "And used language that is against all the values of the school -"

"Well, I'm going to find him a school with  _proper_ American values," De Vrietz interrupted. "Come on, Jakob." They stormed out.

Mrs Starr looked taken aback, but glanced at Daddy. "I guess that solves one problem," she muttered. 

Daddy took them to the diner again, and let them have milkshakes. Then he gave Alex the longest, boringest lecture on not hitting people.

Then he enrolled her in tennis lessons, so she could hit yellow balls instead. Alex loved tennis. She loved the precise anger of it. And she was good at it.

Sometimes, it felt like that was all she was good at. She wasn't smart like Teddy or Pippa or even Kit. Or patient, like they were. Her grades weren't great - she never failed anything, but it hurt to see her reports come back with solid Cs where Teddy had a mix of Bs and As, Pippa was straight As, and Kit was a mix of anything depending on how much effort he put into it.

Alex worked really hard for her Cs. But it turned out that being dyslexic made school really hard, and while she could remember things she was told, reading and writing was hard. Mommy and Daddy never seemed to care, they simply praised each C like they praised Pippa's As. And slowly, they became a mixture of Bs and Cs. [Mostly Cs. Except sport - where she got As].

"We can see how hard you're working, and we're really proud of how well you're doing," Daddy said.

But it wasn't the same. She was the stupid one.

So she focussed on being good at tennis. Tennis didn't require you to read, or write, it just required you to hit the ball with precise speed and power, directing to the lines. Alex became very good at tennis. She went to the local tournaments, and after a year or two, started winning. Then she went to the state tournaments. Then the national tournaments. Dad went with her, most of the time. Occasionally, if Mom had the weekend off, Mom would come.

It took her weeks to build up the courage, after the fight with Kit, but eventually, she asked Dad.

"Can we bring the book?" she said, knocking on his door as he packed for the USTA competition that weekend in LA.

"Of course," Dad said casually.

She tried to read it on the plane, but it was too hard with the little footnotes that seemed to be Mom's comments, and she shoved it back into her bag in frustration. Dad watched her, but said nothing. When they got to the hotel, however, he cleared his throat casually.

"I haven't read it in ages," he said. Alex didn't exactly throw the book at him, but she kind of did, flopping down on the opposite bed and pulling up a game on her phone.

Dad started reading. Out loud. Alex muted her phone.

She played well, coming third in the tournament. They made it through three chapters of the book. When they got home, Mom knocked on her door the next night.

"Dad's asleep. He's exhausted," she said. "But I was thinking, maybe I could read it too?"

Alex tried very hard not to cry, patting the spot beside her instead.

"Just don't tell the others," she whispered. Mom sighed, but nodded.

"You know we all love you even if you find reading hard," she said. "And Daddy and I are so proud of how well you're doing at school, and how hard you've worked on it."

Between them, Mom and Dad read her the book, and they talked about it. Just like they had with the others.

When Dad got sick, the week before her first wild-card entry into a grand slam, Alex sat in her hotel room and sobbed, holding a book she'd never read but carried to every game.

"I'm sorry I can't be there," Daddy wheezed down the phone. "Your Mom's still coming though. And I'm watching on Teddy's laptop, he's set it up so I can see the game."

 _Ted and Mom are coming to you,_ Pippa texted her.  _Me and Kit will stay with Dad._

Alex was glad she made it through to the second round of her first grand-slam, but was even gladder that she didn't progress further.

Instead, she, Ted, and Mom were on the next flight home. Dad got better, that time, but Alex watched Mom's worried expression. 

Following the tour kept Alex away from home for the next few years. Mom and Dad kind of kept her updated, but it was her siblings who really kept her in the loop with conference calls.

"They don't want you to worry," Teddy said.

"Should I come home, though?" Alex asked, after Dad was admitted - for the second time in three months - with pneumonia.

There was a heavy sigh on the other end of the phone.

"Dad's getting sicker," Pippa, in her second year of medical school, replied. "These admissions will get more frequent - with each infection, his lungs get weaker. You can't come home for every one, Alex."

"Maybe I should," Alex said, biting her nail and pacing in front of the muted TV that was playing her next opponent's last match.

"That's the last thing they want," Kit said. "The last thing Dad would want. He's boring the entire ward with how his daughter's playing the French Open, and the nurses are annoyed that he keeps turning up the TV really loud so late at night so he can watch you."

Alex sighed. "I just...I miss you all."

"We miss you too," Pippa said. "We all love you very much."

"Love you too," she replied, trying not to cry.

"Now, head in the game, Alex," Teddy said. "You can do it."

She won her next match. The next day, to her surprise, her youngest brother was standing awkwardly in the reception area of her hotel when she came back from her practice match.

"Kitster?" Alex tried very hard not to cry.

"Hey, big sis," Kit threw his arms around her and squeezed her tight, the words somewhat ironic when he was standing a good six inches above her. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked gruffly, wiping her eyes.

"Well, Teddy and Susie are about to have their baby, Pip's exams are next week, and I needed some leave anyway," he said. "So, I'm here to support. Mommy said she's sorry, but she and Daddy are gonna watch it at home, and they both said to give you hugs and kisses."

"He's really sick, isn't he?" Alex asked, looking at her brother. He looked exhausted, and old in a way she'd never seen him. Kit's eyes welled up, and he nodded slowly.

"Pip and I have moved back in for Mom," he said. "Truthfully, I think he's trying to hang on to meet the baby."

"How's Mom?"

"Devastated," Kit started to cry, and Alex ignored the stares around her, grabbing his hands tightly. She was grateful that her coach and her practice partner were standing around them. "You know, I always thought that Dad might have loved her more than she loved him. But she's...all she does is go in to the hospital at the moment the doors open, and one of us has to drag her home."

"This is the last Slam he'll see me in," Alex realised slowly.

"Pippa said probably," Kit nodded. "He ... he might make it through this attack. But he's been admitted twice in the last three months, and to last another three months for the next Slam..."

Alex didn't realise she was crying until the tears rolled down her face, mingling with sweat. "Okay," she gasped. "Um. I need a shower."

"I'm just going to find my hotel," Kit said. "Pippa couldn't get me anything here."

"No," Alex said. "They can put an extra bed in my room."

"But you need your space before a match -"

"No," Alex said. "Please, Kit." Her brother looked uncertain, but nodded.

"Daddy said that I had to buy you milkshakes," he said.

Alex cry-laughed. It had been what they'd done when she was littler, and he'd taken her around the country for tennis tournaments - after each game, they got milkshakes, whether she won or lost. "He does realise that I'm supposed to be on a strict diet, right?" 

Kit grinned tearfully at her. "When have you ever know him to care about diets?"

That night, Kit pulled out his copy of the book.

"What's your favourite part of it?" he asked, from the little trundle bed on the floor that the hotel staff had brought up for him after she'd effectively thrown a tantrum in the lobby.

"Is it selfish for me to say the part where they talk about me?" she asked quietly.

"No," he said. "It's a beautiful part of the book." He opened the book to it, and started to read.

 

> [I HATED being pregnant. You need to pee every thirty seconds, everything hurts - both physically and emotionally - and you feel about as sexy as a hippopotamus].  _I thought she was very sexy._ [Our kids will hate you for that].

They both laughed, even thought they'd read that part before. 

 

> _But it was all worth it when our baby was born. Ten perfect fingers, ten perfect toes,_ [perfect Ripley-blue eyes].  _Alexandra Louise Ripley changed our lives. It was a revelation that as much as I thought I was capable of loving someone, it was nothing compared to how I felt about this kid._ [Like, it was ridiculous that I loved a little, fat, hungry, crying, farting baby this much. But we used to stay up just watching her sleep].  _And thinking how peaceful it was._
> 
> _Then she'd cry, and we'd curse ourselves for not sleeping when we had the chance._
> 
> _I've been asked many times whether I regret giving up my job to be a stay at home dad._
> 
> _The answer is **NO**_ . _It's the best choice I ever made, after loving their mother._

She won the third round match the next day, making it through to the round of sixteen. Kit took her to the hotel restaurant where she slurped down a strawberry milkshake - diet be damned - and he drank down a chocolate milkshake (he was the only one who liked the same ones Dad did) while they put the rest of the family on speaker phone. They were all speaking over each other, arguing about which was the best point.

Kit grinned at her from across the table, as Alex quietly cried as Daddy shouted that they were all wrong, and it was  _clearly_ the second shot of the fourth game of the second set where she'd returned a lob with a _beautiful_ forehand that skimmed the line.

Before her next match, Kit read her Teddy's favourite section of the book.

She won her fourth round match, and they repeated the tradition. Daddy sounded weaker, this time, but still rhapsodised about how well she'd served in the match.

Kit read her Pippa's favourite part of the book after they'd hung up.

Her quarter-final match was tough, nearly conceding the second set, but she held on to win in a tiebreaker.

They returned to the hotel restaurant, and Kit delightedly took her around a corner that she hadn't noticed where there were diner-like booths.

Daddy was too hoarse to speak, Mommy explained, because he'd been shouting at the match the whole time.

"Not the whole time," he croaked. "Just the last set."

Kit read her his favourite part of the book that night.

She dropped her first set in the semi-final match, hitting a couple of bad returns to find herself down in the second set. Kit screamed himself red and hoarse in the stands, and she focussed on the thought that this was  _not_ going to be the last match Dad saw her play. Alex scraped past the third set.

Mommy and Daddy simply sobbed down the phone how proud of her they were. Teddy sounded exhausted, and said that little Elizabeth Mae Ripley apologised for missing the first set, but thought that her aunt had done a great job in the second AND third sets.

[Alex bullied the hotel receptionist into printing out a colour photo of their new niece, which she taped to the wall of their hotel room].

That night, Kit skipped to the letter at the end of the book that Mommy and Daddy had written her. She cried herself to sleep.

That final was the best match of tennis that Alexandra Ripley would ever play. She felt something lifting her up, surrounding her, and every shot felt  _right_. 

She didn't drop a single game, defeating her opponent in straight sets in just over an hour.

"I'd like to congratulate you, Maria, on an amazing match," she said, holding her trophy and standing at the microphone. "Thank you. I'd like to thank the organisers and the sponsors of this event. I'd like to thank my team - my amazing coach Steph - you guys rock."

"But mostly," her eyes found Kit in the stands. "My brother Kit, for flying over to be with me. If you hadn't come, Kitster, I'd've withdrawn and flown home. Our Dad's really sick, he's been watching in hospital with the rest of my family. My parents did so much for me, to help me with this sport, and it was my Dad who took me to most of the junior tournaments while Mom looked after my other siblings at home. So, Daddy, this is for you. I love you very much. Kit and I will be on the first plane we can get home, and I can't wait to see you, and Mommy, Pippa, Teddy and Susie and my new niece that I've never met, Elizabeth."

She stepped back, choking up, and appreciated more than she could say the fact that Maria immediately put her arm around her.

"Your dad must be very proud," she said in a Spanish accent. "You play very well."

"Thank you," Alex said. "It was a great match."

She gave the briefest post-match interview she could, trying not to cry, before she and Teddy caught a cab to the airport. They sipped milkshakes in the member's lounge, as Mommy cried down the phone that she was very proud, and so was her Dad, but that Dad was wearing a breathing mask at the moment so he couldn't talk on the phone. But she assured her that Dad watched the whole match.

[At that point, Pippa took the phone and video called them. Alex held up her strawberry milkshake, crowding in next to Kit so that they could both wave to Dad, who was wearing what Pippa called a bipap mask, but grinning and giving them a thumbs up with his free hand. (His other arm was cradling Elizabeth)].

It was the longest series of flights Alex had ever taken, but they finally landed in Seattle. They caught a cab directly to Grey Sloan, Alex still cradling her trophy, meeting Teddy, Susie, and Pippa at the door.

"Dad's in a different ward," Teddy said after they'd all exchanged hugs. 

"How is he?" Alex asked anxiously.

"Not well," Pippa said. "But he's alive. And he's so excited."

They hurried upstairs, Alex's muscles screaming after she'd failed to recover them properly. They entered Dad's room, to see him upright, on the mask, with Mom clutching his hand with one of hers, rocking Elizabeth in the other arm.

Daddy opened his arms out, and Alex immediately raced over, careful to not knock the mask or the drips.

"I love you," she sobbed into his neck. 

"So proud of you," he replied, muffled through the mask. She hugged him for a long moment, before letting go and turning to her Mommy, who gave her a big hug.

"You're amazing, munchkin," she said, tears dripping down into Alex's neck.

"This is for you, Daddy," Alex said, turning to her Dad and handing him the trophy. He admired it for a long moment, before handing it to her Mom, who placed it on the table next to him. Dad held his arms out again to her, and she hugged him again.

"I love you," he said.

It was the last match he ever watched her play.

He lived for another couple of days, before passing quietly, peacefully, with the whole family there; baby Elizabeth sleeping on his chest, and Mom's hand firmly clasped in his. Mom held it together until the funeral, but came home and spent an entire week barely moving from her bed - even the lure of Elizabeth not enough to bring her out of her grief.

Alex didn't move on to Wimbledon, or the events around it. Instead, she stayed home, feeling like it was her turn to do her part now to look after their remaining parent as Pippa had to go back to school, Kit had to go back to work, and Teddy and Susie were exhausted with Elizabeth.

She stumbled through the words of the book, reading the part where Daddy talked about Mommy slowly (she'd half-memorised it thanks to Kit re-reading it to her recently), and that seemed to help her Mom. Slowly, Mom started getting out of bed. She and Alex and Uncle Travis went cycling lazily around the lake. They drank milkshakes at a diner (not  _the_ diner, that had closed down years ago. But another diner, close by). 

Mom eventually went back to work at her station. Alex hung around another month, bringing Mom lunch most days and holding her at night when she cried. Then, Mom told her to go to the Australian Open, and win Dad's home country's Grand Slam. [She didn't win that year, but she had been away for over six months, so she was pleased she got to the quarters].

Years later, when recurrent injuries made it impossible to compete, Mom read her the part of the book where Dad talked about getting up and back to work after New York. It made her cry, how her dad's words from decades earlier about firefighting helped remind her that she played tennis not just because she was good at it, but because she loved it. While Aunty Maya's advice helped as well, it was knowing about what her dad had thought that really mattered - Daddy, who'd driven her around the country to tournaments and spent weekends away from Mom and her siblings to make her dream come true. And so, she got back off the metaphorical mat, and went to the little tennis centre where she'd had her first lesson years earlier, and asked if there was a coaching position available.

Her Mom smiled broadly when she came home after her first day at work.

"You know, Daddy was so proud you won that Grand Slam, and he'd be proud of the other four you've won since," Mom said. "But he'd be actually the most proud of you right now."

Alex gave her Mom a lopsided smile, anxiously whirling her keys around her finger. "Milkshakes?" she asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has made up this fandom for Vic and Ripley - it may have been a short and bumpy ride but I thoroughly enjoyed having a canon ship for once - particularly one so full of spice and affection and love. More than that, I really enjoyed the community that sprang up around them - thank you to the fic writers and the gif makers and the commenters.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has read, left kudos, and especially to those who took the time to leave a comment. This story has been a massive piece of work, and after 2.15 it's been your support that has helped me maintain the drive to keep writing this.
> 
> Thank you all for reading my version of Vic and Lucas' story. I hope that you enjoyed it.


End file.
